Stoya has publicly accused James Deen of rape

[JickyJuly]

Yet they're the same ones under attack with the term “rape culture” and among the first to be called “rapey” just by the looks of them.

I don't think calling dudes rapey has anything to do with what the term "rape culture" means. If someone is using the term to make men in general sound like monsters, they're confused. Rape culture relates to both men and women and both victims and abusers. I mean, the way we teach men to approach sex can lead to them being mistreated as well. I'm sure plenty of dudes have slept with women they weren't especially interested in sleeping with because they didn't know how to say no to a girl or didn't want to be made fun of or emasculated. Anyone who's using the word "rapey" to make a dig at someone should probably not be listened to anyway.

 

[Teagan]

Lucky I believe you are taking what im saying not only the wrong way but personally. Im not trying to attack you but you asked questions and I answered them with my opinion. So with that said I never said you personally were ignoring the problem but a general you as in people. Im not imagining you actually ignoring an elephant. Maybe that's the mix up. I apologize if it was and I was not clearer. My point was just you (people) can ignore rape culture or acknowledge it but either way it's the society we live in right now and that doing those things does not make it worse or a self fulfilling prophecy as you said.
As far as your stories with men and being comfy and all that's great, I have them too, but rape culture is not a woman being afraid of all men at all times and telling all men they are dangerous to us and going to hurt us. Maybe someone else can explain it better than me cause I feel like i'd butcher it or leave out important things. But Lucky it's not just teaching women to fear and telling men they are automatically an assailant.

 

[Worship Jaclyn]

I'm sorry but it's so much bullshit to act as if @LuckySmiles is ignoring an issue just because she has her own opinion. You cannot be dismissive of other views like that. She brings quotes and videos to explain herself and it's fine to disagree but if you're a "feminist" don't talk down to her and act as if she just doesn't really know what's going on in the world. Condescending much?

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I think it's honestly a matter of miscommunication rather than opinions. Or maybe I'm just blindly optimistic. Unfortunately, since we don't really know online people's intentions and tone and stuff then people get defensive when they *think* someone is saying something they're not or get defensive which ultimately causes everyone to shut off and become abrasive and make it personal. Or maybe I'm just completely wrong here and everyone comprehends everything written and just completely disagrees with each other. I'm hoping it's not the latter.

 

[JickyJuly]

I don't think I was down talking or attacking? I get kind of wound up on some topics and reply more than I probably should, but I don't think I was dismissive or rude.

 

[Guy]

Nicki Blue says Kink.com banned her for discussing the assault on one of their online forums http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/272591/nicki-blue-james-deen-assault-silenced-kink-com/

 

[HoldItNow]

Not go nothing, but like freedom of speech, innocent until proven guilty is only a burden placed on the government. Private citizens are free to hold whatever opinion they choose. They can't state something as fact without a conviction but otherwise have at it.

It is also interesting that some people across the internet will use the innocent until proven guilty idea but then speculate about ulterior motives that Stoya has in making her statement. If you are going to introduce a concept you have to apply it evenly. And I find the idea of an ulterior motive to make as much sense as the conspiracy theory that MFC is a front for money laundering.

I don't think there's an obligation for someone to come forward because victims of trauma process an event differently from each other. Some people might never be able to address an incident . If people come forward they should be supported but those that don't shouldn't be blamed for future crimes. The rapist is the one at fault.

Attitudes are changing but always so slowly.

 

[Finley]

I'd like to post a few links that people can read so that there might be less misconceptions about things said.

Rape Culture
RationalWiki on Rape Culture
25 Every Day Examples of Rape Culture
Good Men Project: Guide to Rape Culture & subsequently Explaining the Good Men Project Article
Ten Things to End Rape Culture
Why We Don't Want to Believe Bill Cosby Might Actually Be A Rapist
Why Every Assault Matters

Some Facts About Rape
50 Facts About Rape
50 Facts About Domestic Violence
25 Facts About Rape in America
The Rape Statistics You Need to Know

Consent
What Is Consent?
Consent Is Sexy
What is Healthy Consent? What ISN'T Consent?

Calling Out A Rapist
But We Never Ask Why Rapists get to Be Anonymous Guerrillas
How To Out A Rapist

Victim Blaming
Rape-Splaining: 10 Examples of Victim Blaming
Blaming the Victim
8 Reasons Why Victim-Blaming Needs to Stop
Rape Culture, Victim-Blaming, and the Facts
Why Do People Blame Rape Victims? On the Viscous Cycle of Victim-Blaming and What We Can Do to Break It

Some Zines For You
Learning Good Consent
Strategies For Survivors
Supporting A Survivor of Sexual Assault
Ask First!

On Reporting (or not reporting) Rape
Why I Didn't and Won't Report My Rape
Madonna Didn't Report Her Rape For the Same Reason So Many Victims Stay Silent
20+ Reasons People Don't Report Their Rape to the Police
Prosecuting Sexual Assault: 'Raped All Over Again'


Here is a handy U.S. chart to show you the rape-kit backlog in all 50 states

 

[Finley]

Also, if you or anyone you know has been sexually assaulted, here is a list of resources if the survivor of assault chooses to use them:

https://rainn.org/get-information/links

OOPS. For some reason some links got fucked up in the above post. Here's these two:
How To Out A Rapist

But We Never Ask Why Rapists Get To Be Anonymous Guerrillas

Rape Culture
RationalWiki on Rape Culture

25 Every Day Examples of Rape Culture

Good Men Project: Guide to Rape Culture & subsequently Explaining the Good Men Project Article

Ten Things to End Rape Culture

Why We Don't Want to Believe Bill Cosby Might Actually Be A Rapist

Why Every Assault Matters

Some Facts About Rape
50 Facts About Rape

50 Facts About Domestic Violence

25 Facts About Rape in America

 

[LuckySmiles]

@Teagan I don't take it personally but I'd fall into the people who feel the term "rape culture" is often misused in the US, or as you say are ignoring it. I don't think that saying rape culture is not the main problem is the same as ignoring the problem. I am fully aware of what rape culture means, and also aware of some of the fear mongering that is being implemented in it's name. It is not my belief that rape culture is dominant in American culture.

@JickyJuly I tried to use part of a situation of people I know being treated wrong as a potential result of the fear mongering, but I think it's been misunderstood.

It just starts to seem like anyone who has a different point of view is immediately jumped on. I've been guilty in doing that in other tense discussions, but after a bit of time passed part of the opposing view started to make more sense to me. I don't judge anyone else for having a different opinion than me but I also don't think I'm the only one with my opinions, as much as it becomes intimidating for anyone to share them.

I don't believe in victim blaming. I don't see our society as being responsible for rape or encouraging or allowing, I see rapists as being responsible for rape. It is my opinion that rape culture is being misused in America to make women more afraid of the wrong people. I promise to be less dramatic but I don't think I can keep discussing this. Again, no one has to agree with me, but I like anyone else have reasons for my perspective.

 

[Coog]

It seems to me that kink.com is starting to look very bad during all of this, firstly by appearing to have brushed a lot under the carpet such as deleted a internal forum complaint by Nicki Blue.

Secondly by turning a blind eye when he pushed the boundaries such as using Lily LaBeau's no list against her.

 

[Finley]

One of the dudes I had to blocks tweet made a Vox article with me tagged in it. It wasn't one of the worst ones (though it's bad), I got the other ones deleted: http://www.vox.com/2015/12/3/9837694/james-deen-rape

 

[SarahLove]

One of the dudes I had to blocks tweet made a Vox article with me tagged in it. It wasn't one of the worst ones (though it's bad), I got the other ones deleted: http://www.vox.com/2015/12/3/9837694/james-deen-rape

I don't understand what is bad about that article, can you elaborate? I may be really confused but this article seems to support your previous complaints and opinions in this thread.

 

[weirdbr]

And a newer article with more details from Stoya about her choice to speak up and why she went for twitter:
http://www.theguardian.com/culture/...mes-deen-and-broke-the-porn-industrys-silence

 

[SarahLove]

Im sure some of you have already seen the strange tweets from xart. https://twitter.com/xart I dont know why they think it's a good idea to do this.

One of the dudes I had to blocks tweet made a Vox article with me tagged in it. It wasn't one of the worst ones (though it's bad), I got the other ones deleted: http://www.vox.com/2015/12/3/9837694/james-deen-rape

The lack of reply to my last question makes me wonder if you even bothered to read it. Or did you just automatically assume that anyone who replied to you with an objective or opposite opinion must have posted a terrible rape-supporting article?


Theres been so much talking in circles in this thread that I think some people are starting to confuse their own opinions.

 

[Teagan]

The lack of reply to my last question makes me wonder if you even bothered to read it. Or did you just automatically assume that anyone who replied to you with an objective or opposite opinion must have posted a terrible rape-supporting article?


Theres been so much talking in circles in this thread that I think some people are starting to confuse their own opinions.

Is she not allowed to just not respond to you or maybe, just maybe, be busy doing something for a few hours? I didnt know there was a time limit to respond on here. And Im not her but personally I would want my twitter handle to be in one of those articles for people to see and then troll. Especially after she has noted it's already been happening to her. It puts you out and in the open when you may not wanna be too.

As far as the last line I dont see people talking in circles. I see varied opinions by lots of people but havent seen anyone declare ont thing then another which is what talking in circles means to me IMHO.

 

[SarahLove]

As far as the last line I dont see people talking in circles. I see varied opinions by lots of people but havent seen anyone declare ont thing then another which is what talking in circles means to me IMHO.

Sometimes when people try to explain the same idea or opinion over and over again they start getting really confusing in their wording as they try to find fancier ways to say the same thing.

And as far as the reply from finley, yes I realize shes probably busy, sorry. I just got stuck on her saying "it's bad" and completely mindblown at how not bad it is, anxious for more insight about it.

 

[Guy]

It seems to me that kink.com is starting to look very bad during all of this, firstly by appearing to have brushed a lot under the carpet such as deleted a internal forum complaint by Nicki Blue.

They also banned Nicki Blue for posting that complaint http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/272591/nicki-blue-james-deen-assault-silenced-kink-com/.

 

[Finley]

I don't understand what is bad about that article, can you elaborate? I may be really confused but this article seems to support your previous complaints and opinions in this thread.

I never said it was bad, I was pointing out that one of my harassers tweet was in it

ETA: I just saw your "lack of reply" comment. I was working. I'm not on ACF every second of every day, Jeez.

And @Teagan was correct. My Twitter is now extra troll bate because it's linked in the particular tweet posted. I've already been dealing with an ungodly amount of harassment

 

[Finley]

Also I feel that I need to point out to @SarahLove that I never said the article was "bad", if you re-read my post maybe you will realize that I was speaking on behalf of the tweet with my name in it that was posted.

 

[Finley]

Just wanna let you know I will be heading out soon to a company Christmas party, so I will be away from my computer for a while. In case anyone gets mad that I don't respond immediately.

 

[SarahLove]

Also I feel that I need to point out to @SarahLove that I never said the article was "bad", if you re-read my post maybe you will realize that I was speaking on behalf of the tweet with my name in it that was posted.

that was the misunderstanding then, thank you for clarifying, I hope you can see why I was confused now.

Just wanna let you know I will be heading out soon to a company Christmas party, so I will be away from my computer for a while. In case anyone gets mad that I don't respond immediately.

lol, I deserve that. Hope you have a fun time.

 

[SexySteph]

X-Art posted a link to this article today. http://therealpornwikileaks.com/ind...james-deen-as-well-as-deens-accusers-updated/

 

[weirdbr]

X-Art posted a link to this article today. http://therealpornwikileaks.com/ind...james-deen-as-well-as-deens-accusers-updated/

Wow... I'd love to put that performer on my ignore list, but clearly they knew how much of an ass they are and decided to say crap like this anonymously:

"Everyone on set gets groped, molested, flirted with. Sexual harassment is our entire business model."
"Sex is our business, so, right or wrong, those personal physical boundaries just don’t exist. "
"AND AT NO TIME DID HE RAPE HER. EVER."

So they're basically completely unaware of personal boundaries, have no idea about what porn is really about and also are omniscient/omnipresent... *facepalm*

 

[Picnic]

X-Art posted a link to this article today. http://therealpornwikileaks.com/ind...james-deen-as-well-as-deens-accusers-updated/

Wow. Wtf did I just read?

"An NFL player doesn’t get to bitch about a torn hamstring or a concussion from a hard tackle. That’s what you fucking signed up for."

An NFL player can complain about whatever the fuck they want...especially a major injury... and what a fucking horrible and just plainly incorrect analogy to assault and sexual abuse in the adult industry.

 

[Teagan]

Wow. Wtf did I just read?

"An NFL player doesn’t get to bitch about a torn hamstring or a concussion from a hard tackle. That’s what you fucking signed up for."

An NFL player can complain about whatever the fuck they want...especially a major injury... and what a fucking horrible and just plainly incorrect analogy to assault and sexual abuse in the adult industry.

Apparently the moron who wrote it has never seen one of the after the NFL specials they do every so often where they talk to former NFL players and how bad it messed them up and how things need to change. Or any interview they have done with one who speaks openly about how bad they have been hurt and how it effects their daily life. Or he hasnt heard the stories of the players who have went on to kill themselves and/or others from effects of their injuries. Or the movie coming out with Will Smith about it on Christmas this year and how controversial it is and why. The players absolutely can and do speak out. Point is this guy obviously has no clue what he's talking about even with his analogies. You signed up to be on a porn shoot and that does not mean you signed away all of your consent. Also him saying because james assaulted one girl and stopped and didnt rape her does not mean a thing. Rapists dont just go around raping every single person at all times. Like duh.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Wow. Wtf did I just read?

"An NFL player doesn’t get to bitch about a torn hamstring or a concussion from a hard tackle. That’s what you fucking signed up for."

An NFL player can complain about whatever the fuck they want...especially a major injury... and what a fucking horrible and just plainly incorrect analogy to assault and sexual abuse in the adult industry.

It would be like an NFL player being tackled and injured in the tunnel before the game had even started, and then some idiot saying, "well... they knew the risks of playing football and they can't complain"

 

[Bocefish]

I'll never understand how an abusive rapist like him turns women on.

What part of him having zero respect for females is attractive?

 

[Lexi Emerson]

I'll never understand how an abusive rapist like him turns women on.

What part of him having zero respect for females is attractive?

I mean before knowing that he did all this, I enjoyed his work quite a bit. Now I am repulsed knowing the kind of human he is. I don't think many women (people) are really swooning over him now knowing all that we do...

 

[SatanJonez]

I'll never understand how an abusive rapist like him turns women on.

What part of him having zero respect for females is attractive?

I am not claiming to be someone who knows anything more than anyone else, but there was always something about his porn that was off to me. And then him caving into the fangirl comparisons of Ted Bundy and himself...that pretty much did it in for me.