Spending too much money, addicted to cam shows, advice wanted

[babadoook]

So I don't really know where to go with this issue, it's not something I can share with anyone I know personally. I am spending way too much money on cam shows, I currently have a several thousand in credit card debt that I could easily pay off in a couple of months... if I just stopped paying for cam girls. I did try the search for addiction and money etc however and could not find any meaningful results, if i missed something please link it to me.

It started with the website I use offering promotions for discounts or double credits etc when, while with no credit card debt, I very quickly maxed out my credit card and have been slowly trying to get back in the positive, i could afford to do this if i wasn't in the negative as i am slowly chipping away, however that's not the case and I am in the negative as it stands and effectively spending whats left of my pay on cam shows so my debt ends up staying the same.

Maybe i'm asking in the wrong place as the only times i pay for this stuff is when i'm drunk, there's some underlying alcohol issues I should probably address but at this time i would prefer to mitigate the damage these sessions are having on me financially if i can. I have tried things like removing my card but obviously I get drunk enough and don't care and just add it again. I can't block payments to the site via my bank and unfortunately I can't set daily limits or anything on the site itself.

I am really just looking for advice, maybe someone else has been in this position and could offer some guidance, anything would be appreiacted.

 

[Nigerian Prince]

Do you need your credit card for anything else? I know one tactic people have used on the past is to literally freeze their card in a block of ice, so that by the time they thaw it they will have had time to reflect on their impulsive choices.

I guess it's also important to know the reason you use cam sites, like is it possible to replace camsites with regular old porn?

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Sounds like you have some underlying issues, in particular the drinking. Probably need to address some other things as well. Have you called a counselor or therapist? Might be something worth looking into.



As to immediate actions, here's a some ideas:

Delete or deactivate your account on the website. If you can't do that, change the password to a very random string of text and don't save it. this way, you can't log in and it will take some time to try and recover the account.

If your internet router or model has any kind of outbound firewall, block the camsites you're aware of. Not just the one you go to.

 

[KingMarti]

You could use a virtual top up card like what Privacy.com allows you to do where you can set a fixed budget of how much you want to spend each week or month (of course that's if the issue is not realizing the actual amount that your spending when you are spending it.) That way you are working from a pre-planned budget.

 

[Mila_]

Sounds like you are having a hard time controlling your cam habit and it’s getting you into trouble. It sounds like you could handle the problem without too much issue if you could control the spending in the first place but as it is right now it sounds like you feel out of control. Maybe you should figure out things that are bit more specific like what need is it that cams are filling in your life? What is the nature of the habit? Are you paying for private shows? If that’s the case perhaps you long for a partner to have a sexual connection with. Are you tipping in public chat? If that’s the case perhaps you feel unseen or under appreciated in your personal life and you are seeking that feeling of being appreciated... are you purchasing content? Perhaps your sexual needs are very specific and you can’t find what you seek in a porntube. Each reason has different root problems.

 

[Lelo1]

So I don't really know where to go with this issue

Going into debt because of an addiction is a very common.
The first step with any addiction is admitting your helpless, and that you have no control over your addiction.
If you do not take steps to change; you'll continue your addictive behavior.

Find a local Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting. Go to a meeting, keep going to meetings.

It takes deliberate effort to change habits. And that starts by removing yourself from the high risk situations.
That means you should:

• Request the cam site to ban you. Just tell them you have an addiction, most sites will support you by banning you.
• Delete your accounts on adult sites including cam site.
• Stop going to cam sites.
• Create habits that remove you from the familiar situations that enable you to act out.

 

[cbhours]

So I don't really know where to go with this issue, it's not something I can share with anyone I know personally. I am spending way too much money on cam shows, I currently have a several thousand in credit card debt that I could easily pay off in a couple of months... if I just stopped paying for cam girls. I did try the search for addiction and money etc however and could not find any meaningful results, if i missed something please link it to me.

It started with the website I use offering promotions for discounts or double credits etc when, while with no credit card debt, I very quickly maxed out my credit card and have been slowly trying to get back in the positive, i could afford to do this if i wasn't in the negative as i am slowly chipping away, however that's not the case and I am in the negative as it stands and effectively spending whats left of my pay on cam shows so my debt ends up staying the same.

Maybe i'm asking in the wrong place as the only times i pay for this stuff is when i'm drunk, there's some underlying alcohol issues I should probably address but at this time i would prefer to mitigate the damage these sessions are having on me financially if i can. I have tried things like removing my card but obviously I get drunk enough and don't care and just add it again. I can't block payments to the site via my bank and unfortunately I can't set daily limits or anything on the site itself.

I am really just looking for advice, maybe someone else has been in this position and could offer some guidance, anything would be appreiacted.

Do you have someone you trust that can help you with this? I have helped someone with a spending addiction before using Famzoo where they direct deposit all their excess money into a famzoo account and set a daily allowance on their card (transfers x amount of dollars each day to your famzoo debit card) but that would do absolutely nothing if you have access to the master famzoo account because then you can just transfer yourself more money. You would then physically destroy your credit cards so you don't have easy access to their numbers so all your left with thats easy access is a card with a daily transferred amount.

 

[MojitosJourney]

Some people have poor impulse control... I'm one of them! Alcohol just makes it worse because it lowers your inhibitions.

Can't keep a credit card or I end up racking it up, if I use my cell phone/ computer to browse the internet I can get sucked in for hours, and if I buy a box of cookies I just eat the whole thing.
If this sounds like you, the solution is just to remove the things you have poor impulse control with. With cam girls, sounds like you need to get rid of your credit card and just allow yourself to buy pre-paid credit cards to tip models - decide how much you want to spend on them per month, buy pre-paid cards.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Some people have poor impulse control... I'm one of them! Alcohol just makes it worse because it lowers your inhibitions.

Can't keep a credit card or I end up racking it up, if I use my cell phone/ computer to browse the internet I can get sucked in for hours, and if I buy a box of cookies I just eat the whole thing.
If this sounds like you, the solution is just to remove the things you have poor impulse control with. With cam girls, sounds like you need to get rid of your credit card and just allow yourself to buy pre-paid credit cards to tip models - decide how much you want to spend on them per month, buy pre-paid cards.

Regarding credit cards, you can always call the bank and have them freeze or reduce your available credit limit instead of them increasing it annually. I have one credit card that I allow my credit limit to increase on, and another where I called them after it was opened and specifically requested they do not auto increase it. I have to call them and request an increase if I want one.

Another option on the available funds is to get a High Yield Savings account online from Synchrony, Ally, etc. This keeps extra cash separate from your checking account or credit cards. Some of them take 3-5 business days for processing. So, if you request a transfer on Monday, it doesn't show up until Wednesday or Thursday morning. Some will do the transfer the next business morning. All while earning better interest than what your typical bank might offer you.

 

[Lucid1]

There is a difference between between being an alcoholic and being a "problem drinker". The latter tends to manifest itself when the drinking is combined with activities where your inhibitions are affected and you do things you wouldn't do when sober. It doesn't require you to get snot-slingin drunk either, as just a couple of drinks can lower your inhibitions drastically. As simple as it sounds, the old adage of "why go to the barber shop drunk, if you don't plan on getting a haircut?" really helped me out when I was much younger. Only you can determine if your alcohol usage is the issue, or if you just tend to have an addictive type of personality with certain things. Start with baby steps and determine if you need to stop drinking entirely, or if you need to refrain from combining drinking with certain activities in your life. Instead of a night of drinking and surfing the internet, maybe a few drinks and a good movie would suffice?

One thing is for certain: One day you'll become sick and tired of being sick and tired. And it all depends on you if that realization comes too late, or not. But it sounds like you're exploring the issues by posting about this here, so stay diligent!

Best of wishes!

 

[Lelo1]

There is a difference between between being an alcoholic and being a "problem drinker".

I don't think there are any rules for addiction. The real question is the activity harming yourself and or others. A normal person, when they see some thing not working, they stop doing it. But an addict will keep going. They will continue the behavior, even when they can see see the damage it's doing.

Many addicts will find ways to justify their behavior. They will find excuses not to stop. They'll try and bargain with them selves and others. The best way to stop, is to 100% stop.

 

[Lucid1]

I don't think there are any rules for addiction. The real question is the activity harming yourself and or others. A normal person, when they see some thing not working, they stop doing it. But an addict will keep going. They will continue the behavior, even when they can see see the damage it's doing.

Many addicts will find ways to justify their behavior. They will find excuses not to stop. They'll try and bargain with them selves and others. The best way to stop, is to 100% stop.

Not sure if you're agreeing with me or not, but I agree with what you wrote. I was in the military when my alcohol problems manifested themselves into career defining choices and counseling. My counselor was amazing, but she didn't label me an alcoholic right away and many years later I am thankful for this. It was during these counseling sessions that I learned about what defines the differences between an alcoholic and a problem drinker. The difference are real. Problem drinking is a "thing". Here's a brief read that describes it better than I ever could.

 

[ThePrincessLuxy]

I'm a findom, so I encourage this.

BUT.

If you are coming to a cam forum asking for help, this is beyond what any one on the internet can help you with, period. If you are concerned, get off the internet and go see a therapist.

I'm an alcoholic as well, but I have self control mostly when I am drunk. Your issues cannot be helped here. Nobody can do it for you but YOU.

Good luck and I hope you can return when you have yourself sorted. Camland is not for the faint of heart or weak unless you want it that way. You are definitely weak right now. If you refuse to seek help for yourself then SOL.

 

[YourMoneySlave]

Been there, been more or less exactly where you are now.
I am a moneyslave, and the nature of my fetish is to spend money. The more I spend, the more I get excited (to simplify, it involves way more than just this of course).
For years I've been trying to stop. Tried everything, including therapy. But always failed. Then one day I realised this is in my nature, and the way to handle it is NOT try to stop it, but rather try to control it a bit. to find a balance.
In my case it was a matter of working more (yes i've found another job) and dedicate one credit card to my fetish. It was tough, but it worked.
Not meaning to spam or anything, but I also wrote an article that some guys told me was useful to them: https://yourmoneyslave.com/moneyslavery-heres-how-i-found-my-balance/

Hope you manage to sort this out but believe me, trying to stop it isn't the solution. It's a part of who you are.

 

[JGenius]

You should talk to this with a psychologist specialised in cognitivo behavioral therapy it can be very helpful for addiction.

I never had alcohol issues but quite addict to internet spending times and money on online game and camsite, before finally started to overcome it when I discover i have ADD (Attention deficit disorder) and being treated