Should I or shouldn't I

[justanotheruser111]

Hi everyone,

so today my favorite webcam model had a very short show, and it seems she ended it because she didn't mute a private call (first she did, but somehow audio came back), and when she realized it, she went offline.
Seems the call was with her boss (she's a studio model in Colombia) and was about her doubts about a contract. This is all normal stuff and not an issue, the issue is she looked so sad/depressed during the call. And not just during the call, but a lot of the times during the show and not just today. I noticed it a lot of times, but when anyone asks why she's sad, she would deny it and force a smile. Of course, there are times she seems happy and enjoying the shows but who knows, she's a performer and will surely always try to look her best and happy.

Anyway, I know we are all adults and responsible for our choices and actions, but I got such a big urge to send her a message to encourage her to try and find another job if she feels this one is hurting her. I know in Colombia the situation is pretty bad, but still, if the consequences on her mental health are too much, that can't end well, regardless of the money. And no, I don't expect anything out of this, it's just like an empathetic need to tell her. I'm actually in the process of quitting going on cam sites altogether, because I feel it just draws me further and further away from the real world and real connections, but that's another topic...

So, what do you say? Should I message her or not? Does it even make sense? Am I being presumptuous?

Thanks for reading,

just another lost soul in this strange new world

 

[AmberCutie]

but I got such a big urge to send her a message to encourage her to try and find another job

So, what do you say? Should I message her or not? Does it even make sense? Am I being presumptuous?

NOOOOO no no no. Do not bring that up, it is not your place AT ALL to make a comment like that.

 

[inertvolcano]

So, what do you say? Should I message her or not? Does it even make sense? Am I being presumptuous?

It's none of your business.

 

[Ozzie_]

Hi everyone,

so today my favorite webcam model had a very short show, and it seems she ended it because she didn't mute a private call (first she did, but somehow audio came back), and when she realized it, she went offline.
Seems the call was with her boss (she's a studio model in Colombia) and was about her doubts about a contract. This is all normal stuff and not an issue, the issue is she looked so sad/depressed during the call. And not just during the call, but a lot of the times during the show and not just today. I noticed it a lot of times, but when anyone asks why she's sad, she would deny it and force a smile. Of course, there are times she seems happy and enjoying the shows but who knows, she's a performer and will surely always try to look her best and happy.

Anyway, I know we are all adults and responsible for our choices and actions, but I got such a big urge to send her a message to encourage her to try and find another job if she feels this one is hurting her. I know in Colombia the situation is pretty bad, but still, if the consequences on her mental health are too much, that can't end well, regardless of the money. And no, I don't expect anything out of this, it's just like an empathetic need to tell her. I'm actually in the process of quitting going on cam sites altogether, because I feel it just draws me further and further away from the real world and real connections, but that's another topic...

So, what do you say? Should I message her or not? Does it even make sense? Am I being presumptuous?

Thanks for reading,

just another lost soul in this strange new world

Unless you and she have a *genuine* friendship, then the MOST you should do is support her in her job: Tip her, chat with her in public an PM (if that is appropriate), if she seems stressed, maybe take her to a private show and just chat about fun things.

But do *not* tell her to get another job, that is not your place at all.

 

[misterical]

Yeah, just stay out of it would be my opinion.

I see models all the time who look like they don't want to be there. A lot of them in Colombia and in less than salubrious looking surroundings. I'm pretty certain that if they could get another job they would already have done so.

 

[MarieElise]

You can't assume because someone has a sad demeanor it's tied to the phone call. I've cammed after deaths in my family, and had a heavy demeanor but not talked about it, and the same w days my asthma and other health conditions are bad. Maybe their demeanor is tied to what you heard on the call, but that could have just been a coincidence. Definitely stay out of it.

By saying something you could make her feel even worse and get her self conscious and/or possibly even get her in trouble w her studio.

 

[Nienna]

You can't assume because someone has a sad demeanor it's tied to the phone call. I've cammed after deaths in my family, and had a heavy demeanor but not talked about it, and the same w days my asthma and other health conditions are bad. Maybe their demeanor is tied to what you heard on the call, but that could have just been a coincidence. Definitely stay out of it.

By saying something you could make her feel even worse and get her self conscious and/or possibly even get her in trouble w her studio.

The studio could also ban him. I have seen members banned from my friend's room for less. One of her regulars was permanently banned from her room for suggesting she not show her face in private show. Hers is a Russian studio, but I could see Colombian ones being just as bad or worse. Be careful where you tread with studios.

 

[AudriTwo]

how to make a cammodel happy! a tutorial!!!

step one: tip lots
step two: buy content and shows
step three: mind ya business

 

[RuthStrawberryblonde]

Leave it, as already posted it's her business and she may feel as if you are overstepping.

 

[rockin_rod]

Should I message her or not?

Not.
No doubt your thought process was well-intended from a caring position, but it's not your place to make suggestions about how she lives her life.
EDIT: damn, there I go again posting replies in A-a-M. Gotta stop doing that...... sorry

 

[mika_kedi]

Because when sex workers are unhappy that's always their job and they should quit it, right?

"Mental health is more important!" yeah, you know what is universally not good, one of the worst possible things for a person's mental health? Not being able to avoid food and shelter. So even if she really is unhappy and it IS her job that's causing it you have no right to tell her to quit it unless you are ready to start supporting her financially or guarantee her some other way to make the same or bigger amount of money that she gets camming that she would be more comfortable with. Actually, even then you have no right to tell her to quit her job, you can only nicely offer your money/another opportunity.

 

[IsabelaHarlow]

Don't. Just don't. Yes, we may have bad days, we may have days when we ourselves want to quit, but that doesn't mean we do. Most of us do this for a purpose, some for a house to get rid of rent, some for a business that needs some money at first and want to make it faster than a 9-5 job or other reasons we may have. If you see someone unhappy you don't just tell them to quit, because that doesn't help them at all if you don't give them an alternative or start paying her yourself. Just be kind and don't make her days worse when you go into her room. You want to support her? Try making her day better.

 

[misterical]

All of this reminds me of a model I visited a few times on Livejasmin. Immediately upon entering the room it became apparent she was only about 18 or 19. I'm not interested girls that young at all but she had the saddest eyes I've ever seen so I stayed and talked for a bit. I dropped in a few more times over the next couple of weeks just to say hello and give her a bit of encouragement but I had to stop because it was utterly heartbreaking. She was the definition of someone who was not where she wanted to be. I don't think I ever saw her smile. She was struggling that much.

Still didn't feel the need to tell her to get another job though.

She was gone within about 4 weeks of arriving. Either camming just chewed her up and spat her out or (hopefully) she found something else that made her happier. I still think of her often. I hope she's doing well.

 

[AudriTwo]

She was gone within about 4 weeks of arriving. Either camming just chewed her up and spat her out or (hopefully) she found something else that made her happier. I still think of her often. I hope she's doing well.

its been estimated 80% of new models quit within 3 months. when you think about it, it's a sales job based solely on commission. it's not for everyone and that's okay.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

IF she is unhappy because of her job I am sure your email encouraging her to get another one will not help. She will already be looking, if its possible.

Imagine going up to your cashier and being like "you seem sad. You should get another job"...

Like oh wow, the cure to my sadness. I had never even thought of that.

Unless you can literally hire her.. lol. Don't say shit. Your opinion on what she should do is the opposite of helpful.

 

[misterical]

its been estimated 80% of new models quit within 3 months. when you think about it, it's a sales job based solely on commission. it's not for everyone and that's okay.

Yeah, that's true. She was just a kid really. I mean, I know that 18 and 18 year old models are legal and appeal to a lot of the audience on cam sites, but I think back to being that age myself and how it was hard enough working in a normal environment. It must be incredibly difficult to be that age in an industry where you can be exposed to fairly unpleasant working conditions and (let's be honest) some fairly unpleasant clientele.

 

[AudriTwo]

Yeah, that's true. She was just a kid really. I mean, I know that 18 and 18 year old models are legal and appeal to a lot of the audience on cam sites, but I think back to being that age myself and how it was hard enough working in a normal environment. It must be incredibly difficult to be that age in an industry where you can be exposed to fairly unpleasant working conditions and (let's be honest) some fairly unpleasant clientele.

oh totally. young models are definitely more vulnerable to predatory members imo. when you are new you get so many people trying to "help"/ influence.

 

[MarieElise]

She was gone within about 4 weeks of arriving. Either camming just chewed her up and spat her out or (hopefully) she found something else that made her happier. I still think of her often. I hope she's doing well.

I think for most models it's more of a long game too. It's a tough job. I never started making (what I would call) good money for several years, but at the same time, I also expected that (and planned for it). I think there are people who get into this industry expecting to make amazing amounts of money their first year, or even week, which unless they get really lucky, doesn't happen. Of course "good money" means different things to different people too.

You really do have to work hard, and it can be tough both physically and psychologically at times.

 

[ArcticKitty]

oh totally. young models are definitely more vulnerable to predatory members imo. when you are new you get so many people trying to "help"/ influence.

Absolutely. I've seen guys on MFC who target new models to take advantage of and some of them are very practised and slick. But predictable when you recognise the MO.

Side note: when they are asshole guests, it's fun to give her a heads up about the desirability of muting guests in her room and then watch them sputter their outrage at me.

 

[justanotheruser111]

Hi everyone,

you all just confirmed what I actually thought myself, that I'm an idiot for even considering writing such a message. Still, I'm glad I posted the post (that sounds strange ), because of all the insight I got from all of you, which I really needed, so thanks!

Btw, the model in question had an awesome show today, and she really didn't seem unhappy, so it's even for the better I decided to ask you all for an opinion before saying something stupid.

It's easier for me now to see that she's okay, so I plan to continue my journey of going away from all of this and from her. I envy guys who can have a moderate approach with webcam models, but I cannot, so the best way for me really is to abandon it all together. Let's just say I'm like a gambling addict who's in the fanciest Casino in the world when I enter a webcam model chatroom, no control. As they say, know thyself

Once again, thank you all, I didn't expect so many answers, be happy, healthy and wealthy!

just another lost soul in this strange new world

 

[TopWebDeveloper]

If she works at a studio, then most likely her online presence and all of her private messages are monitored by someone. So if you bring that phone call up, you might get her in even more trouble with the studio....

 

[SolidAlibi]

If she works at a studio, then most likely her online presence and all of her private messages are monitored by someone. So if you bring that phone call up, you might get her in even more trouble with the studio....

This 100%