Sex with my friends wife..

[Moonsunit]

Long story short:
He is on the road doing a job..been away from home for a few months. He called me and asked me how I would feel about having sex with his wife. At first I thought he was joking so I played along...then his wife texted me asking what time I was coming over. Well I'm not sure how I should feel about the situation

 

[StacySins]

It could turn messy but if it's something you want to do, then do it - life is too short to not take these unexpected opportunities

 

[Deleted member 25213]

do what feels right. if it seems like a positive opportunity that you're interested in, go for it! but if your friend is the jealous type at all steer clear.

 

[Sevrin]

Whatever you decide, your friendship with this couple will never be the same again, and that's not your doing. They obviously aren't the people you thought you knew.

 

[Picnic]

Are you interested?

I suggest tons of communication between all of you, if you are indeed interested in taking them up on their offer.

I would even consider waiting till your friend has returned so you can all talk about it in person. It sounds like an idea they just came up with spontaneously, while apart...not a bad thing, but it could get messy if they haven't really thought things through.

It's important to ask them both about their expectations, and to express yours.

If you're not interested, a simple "I'm flattered, but not interested" would be appropriate.

People get lonely when their partners are gone, and I don't think consensual non-monogamy is weird or inappropriate. Just need to make sure everyone is on the same page.

 

[eyeteach]

Maybe it's just me but this has red flags popping up everywhere. I...I just don't know about this situation, and if you're not sure, well, I'd say you have your answer.

 

[David_Lee_Loca]

I think if you're really interested and all three of you have clear communication and boundaries set, go for it. Some couples are perfectly okay with being open as long as all parties involved are honest.
Do you know if this couple has an open relationship?
I agree that it could go wrong in a few different ways, but that is why I always stress communication, communication, communication!!
I've been in a similar situation as yours and it actually worked out very well for me and I had a fun time.

 

[sweetiebatman]

In my opinion & experiance from friends, Its going to end fucking horrificly

It might be good now hes away but what when hes back? insecurities creep in and there is no happily ever after in this scenario, one of you, or more likely all three of you are going to end up bitter/hurt

I suppose it boils down to how much you value your friendship in its current guise because once you let those chickens out of the coop they aint ever going back in!

 

[Moonsunit]

Well I have known him for 20 years and he said I am the only person he would trust to do this and keep it quiet in our community. I mean I'm a ho I have no worries about doing it other than keeping the friendship with him. He says that it's me doing him a favor and keeping her happy.

 

[David_Lee_Loca]

Just make sure you really talk about it with him. He may be homesick or guilty for not being around. People do things they wouldn't normally do all the time when they're in a bad mood.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I would agree that it's probably a good idea to talk to both of them at a time when he's home and figure out what everyone's comfort level about the whole thing is and what rules they want to establish, if any. You don't want it to be a spur-of-the-moment thing that they feel bad about later. Having sex with friends or friend's spouses doesn't always ruin the friendship, it depends on how everyone is suited to non-monogamy. It's certainly not right for everyone, but if everyone involved is suitable for this kind of arrangement, it can be enjoyable for everyone involved.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

In my opinion & experiance from friends, Its going to end fucking horrificly

It might be good now hes away but what when hes back? insecurities creep in and there is no happily ever after in this scenario, one of you, or more likely all three of you are going to end up bitter/hurt

I suppose it boils down to how much you value your friendship in its current guise because once you let those chickens out of the coop they aint ever going back in!

Yep, he may be fine with the idea now. Need to calculate several moves ahead on this one though. He may not be fine afterwards.

Well I have known him for 20 years...I mean I'm a ho I have no worries about doing it other than keeping the friendship with him. He says that it's me doing him a favor and keeping her happy.

Time to seriously evaluate the friendship for real. Is it worth losing over a fuck? Not saying the fuck will end the friendship, I am only saying, is it worth it if it does?

What happens if she falls for you? Or what if you fall for her?

 

[Moonsunit]

lol I don't fall for females after sex..sex is sex for me it's just a nut I don't get attached.

 

[omnomnom]

If they've never done this sort of thing before, I'd be hesitant to be the first partner to add to their relationship. Sometimes it can go very wrong, quickly. If you feel your relationship with them is secure and you can seperate sex from love, it could be a great opportunity for you. if they came looking for you then hopefully it won't be an issue.

 

[Miss_D]

What happens if she falls for you? Or what if you fall for her?

Not to mention what if she ends up having better sex with you than she does with her man... or if you have a nicer dick than he does (to her standards)... what if she lets you do things to her she won't let her man do? There are soon many factors that can really fuck up the whole dynamic you three have as friends. People say they are ok with a lot of things... but deep down end up holding grudges. Not persuading you either way, just enforcing what everyone else has already said and thats ...communication. Along with...Guidelines. Standards. Limits... etc.

 

[Tilly]

I love the quotes by OP
"I'm a ho" and "it's just a nut"
loling all day

 

[Poker_Babe]

It sounds like an idea they just came up with spontaneously, while apart...

No, this couple has been wanting to do something like this with him for a while now, I'd bet everything I own on it.
Trust me, they've been discussing this between the two of them many times, they are just now starting to clue him in. I'm speaking from experience here. I've been "the wife" in the same damn scenario, in two different relationships, 3 separate times (once in one relationship, and twice in another relationship), and it always happened the same way...
We would be talking about the idea with each other first, and the more we talked about it, the more excited we would get over the thought of it actually happening. That would lead us to try to find some way to put a plan in motion... the "friend" wasn't approached by us until at least a month later. lol

As far as what you should do sir... All I can say is go with your gut. 9 times out of 10, going with your gut instinct is the best option.

 

[Moonsunit]

Not to mention what if she ends up having better sex with you than she does with her man... or if you have a nicer dick than he does (to her standards)... what if she lets you do things to her she won't let her man do? There are soon many factors that can really fuck up the whole dynamic you three have as friends. People say they are ok with a lot of things... but deep down end up holding grudges. Not persuading you either way, just enforcing what everyone else has already said and thats ...communication. Along with...Guidelines. Standards. Limits... etc.

Well I see your points now because we have had sex 7 times and yes I am starting to feel a bit uneasy. First she couldn't stop talking about my girth and how great it felt...then last night she told me that I last much longer than he does. But then he called me today and told me that he couldn't thank me enough because she is happy with the situation and he is glad that I agreed to help them out. I am still not sure about how I really feel but I figure that if they are happy then I should be.

I love the quotes by OP
"I'm a ho" and "it's just a nut"
loling all day

I tend to not have a filter on my thoughts. I'm sorry of I sounded like an ass.

No, this couple has been wanting to do something like this with him for a while now, I'd bet everything I own on it.
Trust me, they've been discussing this between the two of them many times, they are just now starting to clue him in. I'm speaking from experience here. I've been "the wife" in the same damn scenario, in two different relationships, 3 separate times (once in one relationship, and twice in another relationship), and it always happened the same way...
We would be talking about the idea with each other first, and the more we talked about it, the more excited we would get over the thought of it actually happening. That would lead us to try to find some way to put a plan in motion... the "friend" wasn't approached by us until at least a month later. lol

As far as what you should do sir... All I can say is go with your gut. 9 times out of 10, going with your gut instinct is the best option.

This is basicly what they told me. They have been talking about this for over a year and had just clued me in.

 

[Picnic]

So basically what you're saying is you're going to fuck your friend's wife and then share pics with us

...right?

 

[Moonsunit]

So basically what you're saying is you're going to fuck your friend's wife and then share pics with us

...right?

lol I can't share pictures of her without her consent I might be a ho but I try to be decent. I suppose I could share pictures of me but I don't want to be responsible for people hurting from laughter.

 

[Picnic]

I was just being an ass and making a joke. Have fun and be safe!

 

[Kvothe]

Well I see your points now because we have had sex 7 times and yes I am starting to feel a bit uneasy. First she couldn't stop talking about my girth and how great it felt...then last night she told me that I last much longer than he does. But then he called me today and told me that he couldn't thank me enough because she is happy with the situation and he is glad that I agreed to help them out. I am still not sure about how I really feel but I figure that if they are happy then I should be.

This is where having clear and open communication becomes really important if you don't want things to end badly. If it's getting weird for you, maybe it's time to mention that to her or your friend. I guess that it also depends on how much they share with each other about this, whether he knows intimate details or if he is simply aware and supportive.

 

[MsLexi77]

I am part of a true swinging couple. This road can be fun or can be disastrous for one or both relationships. There needs to be a clear line of communication and boundaries set. Neither party need to overstep the lines at all!! We have seen relationships crumble even after all this is done and everyone talks for a bit. Once it happens there is no going back you friendship will change either for the good or worse. Just be respectful and very careful! Jealousy can become total excitement ot enrage someone to do something bad! Do not let your hormones do the talking use your head and yes the one on your shoulders.

 

[CherryChu]

Taaaaalk! And make them talk - to you and to each other. Be clear with both of them that you will back off if it becomes an issue, and you will keep nothing secret. Be aware that you may well be better in bed than your friend by her standards but that still might not be enough to make a difference to their relationship. Be aware that you may be better now and then because you're newer and more exciting, but he is still the one she'll go back to. And don't put too much on her saying how amazing you are - not that you're not, but your friend could be too

Some people like this sort of thing and it's definitely not inherently doomed to fail, but honesty and openness is what will make or break it. Even if someone gets jealous. You have to admit to it, feel it, and own it.

 

[moosemeat15]

I'd definitely go fucked the wife.
Since it was asked why not, people do this all the time, u just dont here of it til it happens

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I'd definitely go fucked the wife.
Since it was asked why not, people do this all the time, u just dont here of it til it happens

F*ck the wife, yes...
F*ck the wife of a 20 year friend, not so sure. Depends.

Saw this sort of thing lead to a lot of silly drama several times. But to be honest, this was in relationships where silly drama was coming one way or another. So idk.

My last little opportunity was with a couple I had been friends with for over a decade. He was no longer interested in f*cking her. She had let me know repeatedly that she viewed me as an escape route from their unhappy relationship. So when the subtle hints started getting dropped, I politely ignored them. And when they asked me outright, I politely told them I couldn't, left, and didn't come back around until I needed another oz. That was a no-brainer, had trouble written all over it.

All a little moot though, since OP has already tripped and landed balls-deep in her.

But I would like to know how things turned out. I prefer to keep my spreadsheets up to date.

 

[xDolly]

If you're interested, I would just say make sure you're communicating with both him and her.
I personally wouldn't do it, but I don't have a lot of sex.