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Requesting your thoughts regarding a strange encounter with a camgirl.

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Mar 8, 2024
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Hi, this is regarding the rather strange methods used by a model I encountered recently. Perhaps you could help me get some closure on the matter and help me make sense of why she does what she does. This seems really weird to me.

Sorry if it's a rambling post, I just need to get this off my chest as it's been bothering me a bit.

In late December, this lovely looking girl caught my eye. I found her quite far down the pages; she maybe had 14 viewers, and her bio reported around 600 followers. Long story short, she's happy, cute, shy, funny, and everything else I like. So, I followed her. Her schedule was very much 9 to 5, and she explained right from the start that it was a studio job. She always described her time there was spent doing her "shift." This was obvious anyway because on different days, she would be in different rooms. Her bio has what look like some pretty professional photoshoot albums and some reasonably well-shot promo videos.

After a week or so, I log in and see her quietly sobbing and wiping tears away. She has only, I don't know, maybe seven viewers. She explains to the room that she gets a little sad sometimes because her room doesn't get many viewers. Anyway, during January and February, this becomes a common occurrence. And her tears seem genuine and only happen on the quiet days. On busy days, she's laughing and joking and being the entertaining girl I initially followed. Over time, she would show a little more, coming out of her shell a bit. Then another quiet day, and she's in tears again. This poor, shy girl, I thought, is doing her best. She just needs to gain more confidence and build her base, and she'll be fine. So, I decided to join her fan club in mid-February to support her. She was overjoyed. By this time, a few others had joined too, and her followers had climbed to maybe 1,500. That's good, right? Still, the tears flowed, just on the quiet days. I can't explain how much this tugged at my heartstrings. I mean, if she's acting, she's a darn good actress. And it's easy to think she's just trying to make us feel sorry for her so we give her tokens, but in actuality, she got many more tokens when she was her usual happy, dancing self. When she was in her sad, teary moods, her room effectively died. This only added to the theory that she was genuinely sad about her room not gaining much traction. But in actuality, Her room always seemed healthy to me. Her followers were consistently growing, she had regular tippers like me as well as some big tippers who would come in now and then and do privates and spy shows. Everything seemed fine to me.

So March comes around, and her room has about 1700 followers. She's happy, dancing, having a good time, and showing more of herself than ever.

This is where things get a bit weird.

The next day comes when she's supposed to be online. Nothing. The next day, nothing. Two more days go by, and she hasn't even read her direct messages. She's on my mind quite a lot. I'm thinking of that poor, shy girl crying... Maybe she's lost her job, quit, or worse. I'm going out of my mind. yeah I'm just a stranger on the Internet but I kinda care about her, I just want to know why she's not even reading her messages.

So I do some googling and end up on a website that finds cam girls aliases using their image. And to my horror I see about 20 different different versions of her all with different hairstyles and different names going back 3 years. I look at some of the profiles, they are either banned, disabled or dead. The ones that still show show followers, are all between 1500 and 1800 with last broadcasts being over a year ago. It was also clear from some of the pictures and videos that this girl was not shy at all, in fact far from it.

So it's clear that this is just what she does. She creates a room, lets it get to no more than 2k followers then abandons it starts over with a new persona and room. What blows my mind is how she's able to just take all these fans she's gained and fake relationships she's formed and just throw them all away like they are nothing.

Why would she do this instead of growing one channel into something she could make a living off of? She clearly has the talent. I'm not even mad at her because she never even asked me for anything. It's not like I feel like she was trying to scam me; that's what makes it all so baffling. I have wondered if maybe others were being scammed and she just spared me? I probably would have fallen for it too if she had tried. I'm just disappointed; I genuinely miss her and her antics. She was entertaining.

Is this a common practice among models, and can anybody shed some light on what kind of girl I encountered?

Thanks.
 
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There's quite a lot to unfold here, I will try to do my best though

I would like to start out with that it can really be a shitty feeling when your room hits those bad days, and some people just get really emotional, if it's fake or not, I would not be able to tell you, no one except her would be able to 100%.

now changing studio etc a lot, I have seen this happen quite a bit, and honestly I don't know why people do it, either they are bad to work with, or they keep hitting shitty studios.. it can also be a mix I would say, that they are NOT cut out to work for a studio at all..

Some studios use the shy girl slow start as a tactic, it can be SUPER effective and I've seen it a couple of times, the studio where me and my ex partner were at would recommend girls to start out this way too, and slowly over time show more and more, no matter if they were genuine new girls to camming or had been at it for years..

for being away for just 2 days without reading her messages, this one seems like the easiest for me; if you're not broadcasting, you do not log in to check your message, at least I never did when working in a studio! and it is only 2 days, she could be doing a million different things, maybe a bit of time off relaxing, on a small trip with family, friends, partner, it doesn't have to be something bad at all.. so I would not worry
 
chances are high she's either quitting studios or she's being removed from studios.
Do you think there's any malice there? Despite her aliases being banned or abandoning ship at around the same amount of followers?
There's quite a lot to unfold here, I will try to do my best though

I would like to start out with that it can really be a shitty feeling when your room hits those bad days, and some people just get really emotional, if it's fake or not, I would not be able to tell you, no one except her would be able to 100%.

now changing studio etc a lot, I have seen this happen quite a bit, and honestly I don't know why people do it, either they are bad to work with, or they keep hitting shitty studios.. it can also be a mix I would say, that they are NOT cut out to work for a studio at all..

Some studios use the shy girl slow start as a tactic, it can be SUPER effective and I've seen it a couple of times, the studio where me and my ex partner were at would recommend girls to start out this way too, and slowly over time show more and more, no matter if they were genuine new girls to camming or had been at it for years..

for being away for just 2 days without reading her messages, this one seems like the easiest for me; if you're not broadcasting, you do not log in to check your message, at least I never did when working in a studio! and it is only 2 days, she could be doing a million different things, maybe a bit of time off relaxing, on a small trip with family, friends, partner, it doesn't have to be something bad at all.. so I would not worry
Thanks for the response. I left out some probably quite important things so the post wouldn't be any longer. I failed to mention that It's actually been 6 days now. The longest she's not been online since I met her in December is 2 days. And at the end of the stream last Saturday, she said she'd be back online the following day. Even when not online, she usually responds to dms within 24 hours sometimes with a photo or 2 of her from her home. Also during her days off she would update her fan club feed with some new photos and perhaps a message so say when we can expect to see her online but her feed has also been silent. It's all these things combined with my discovery of her 20+ past aliases, many with similar amounts of followers abandoned that rings alarms bells for me and makes me pretty much believe 100% that this version of her has gone for good. A new alias of hers is possibly already going live out there, perhaps with a new hair colour and with another studio. I have no idea, perhaps it's been the same studio all along and it's them doing the weird decision making and she's just following orders. I don't know, it's all very strange. I will also say a few weeks ago she came online with quite a nasty scratch on her cheek. Said she did it to herself in her sleep. There's probably more to unfold here than we both think.

Let's say this is true and I randomly see her with a new look, new name and identity, should I confront her or just walk away and forget about her?
 
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Some studios use the shy girl slow start as a tactic, it can be SUPER effective and I've seen it a couple of times, the studio where me and my ex partner were at would recommend girls to start out this way too, and slowly over time show more and more, no matter if they were genuine new girls to camming or had been at it for years..

This explains a lot. I wasn't familiar with this but in hindsight I'm certain the shy girl thing was an act. Damn she was good. She is likely a far more skilled camgirl than I ever suspected. The slow growth in confidence over time, showing a little more here, accidental flashes followed by oopsies and laugher there, it makes sense. She gave the illusion of being a new shy amateur but in reality she's a seasoned professional. But what's the disappearing act all about? Does the studio want us chasing after them? Now I'm more convinced it's the studio behind the aliases.
 
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Do you think there's any malice there? Despite her aliases being banned or abandoning ship at around the same amount of followers?

Thanks for the response. I left out some probably quite important things so the post wouldn't be any longer. I failed to mention that It's actually been 6 days now. The longest she's not been online since I met her in December is 2 days. And at the end of the stream last Saturday, she said she'd be back online the following day. Even when not online, she usually responds to dms within 24 hours sometimes with a photo or 2 of her from her home. Also during her days off she would update her fan club feed with some new photos and perhaps a message so say when we can expect to see her online but her feed has also been silent. It's all these things combined with my discovery of her 20+ past aliases, many with similar amounts of followers abandoned that rings alarms bells for me and makes me pretty much believe 100% that this version of her has gone for good. A new alias of hers is possibly already going live out there, perhaps with a new hair colour and with another studio. I have no idea, perhaps it's been the same studio all along and it's them doing the weird decision making and she's just following orders. I don't know, it's all very strange. I will also say a few weeks ago she came online with quite a nasty scratch on her cheek. Said she did it to herself in her sleep. There's probably more to unfold here than we both think.

Let's say this is true and I randomly see her with a new look, new name and identity, should I confront her or just walk away and forget about her?
I have had people go away for weeks and even a month before where they have said they would be online the day after, things happen, it just is what it is.. but I can see how when this is a pattern that yes, she might just be getting a new account, who knows really :) and for the scratch, we all get scratches sometimes right, like right now I have a nasty burn on my hand, no one burned me, I just grabbed my cast iron pan without thinking about it two days ago, so I wouldn't put too much into that :)

and well, for what you should do, no one else can really tell you, because it's how you feel, if you feel like still trying to talk to her, you can do it, I personally wouldn't "confront" someone with it, you can always hear if she would like you to stick around on her new account is all.. but if it feels odd and you feel like she has something to answer, walk away, it's supposed to be just a pleasant experience, it's what you do in your FREE time and you're spending money on it, if it brings bad feelings and grief, it's time to move on :)
 
Ok. Now I feel the need to jump into this. I have the sharpest nails a human being can possibly possess and cut/scratch myself all of the time with them. When I was in my early 20's, every "online" identity I had would eventually feel weird and inaccurate and I would start over across every platform I was on or abandon an account when I picked up someone who made me uncomfortable. She may be a hobby cammer and wants to break links and sweep up her breadcrumbs -- I'm more disturbed by the fact she was offline for less than 48 hours and you decided to Sherlock Holmes her and now you know more than you were supposed to know and that's clouding your outlook.

Women are emotional, we're moody, we get squirrely and flighty and sometimes we flee. *shrug*
 
Ok. Now I feel the need to jump into this. I have the sharpest nails a human being can possibly possess and cut/scratch myself all of the time with them. When I was in my early 20's, every "online" identity I had would eventually feel weird and inaccurate and I would start over across every platform I was on or abandon an account when I picked up someone who made me uncomfortable. She may be a hobby cammer and wants to break links and sweep up her breadcrumbs -- I'm more disturbed by the fact she was offline for less than 48 hours and you decided to Sherlock Holmes her and now you know more than you were supposed to know and that's clouding your outlook.

Women are emotional, we're moody, we get squirrely and flighty and sometimes we flee. *shrug*
That's helpful and you're probably right. Thanks.
 
Hi, this is regarding the rather strange methods used by a model I encountered recently. Perhaps you could help me get some closure on the matter and help me make sense of why she does what she does. This seems really weird to me.

Sorry if it's a rambling post, I just need to get this off my chest as it's been bothering me a bit.

In late December, this lovely looking girl caught my eye. I found her quite far down the pages; she maybe had 14 viewers, and her bio reported around 600 followers. Long story short, she's happy, cute, shy, funny, and everything else I like. So, I followed her. Her schedule was very much 9 to 5, and she explained right from the start that it was a studio job. She always described her time there was spent doing her "shift." This was obvious anyway because on different days, she would be in different rooms. Her bio has what look like some pretty professional photoshoot albums and some reasonably well-shot promo videos.

After a week or so, I log in and see her quietly sobbing and wiping tears away. She has only, I don't know, maybe seven viewers. She explains to the room that she gets a little sad sometimes because her room doesn't get many viewers. Anyway, during January and February, this becomes a common occurrence. And her tears seem genuine and only happen on the quiet days. On busy days, she's laughing and joking and being the entertaining girl I initially followed. Over time, she would show a little more, coming out of her shell a bit. Then another quiet day, and she's in tears again. This poor, shy girl, I thought, is doing her best. She just needs to gain more confidence and build her base, and she'll be fine. So, I decided to join her fan club in mid-February to support her. She was overjoyed. By this time, a few others had joined too, and her followers had climbed to maybe 1,500. That's good, right? Still, the tears flowed, just on the quiet days. I can't explain how much this tugged at my heartstrings. I mean, if she's acting, she's a darn good actress. And it's easy to think she's just trying to make us feel sorry for her so we give her tokens, but in actuality, she got many more tokens when she was her usual happy, dancing self. When she was in her sad, teary moods, her room effectively died. This only added to the theory that she was genuinely sad about her room not gaining much traction. But in actuality, Her room always seemed healthy to me. Her followers were consistently growing, she had regular tippers like me as well as some big tippers who would come in now and then and do privates and spy shows. Everything seemed fine to me.

So March comes around, and her room has about 1700 followers. She's happy, dancing, having a good time, and showing more of herself than ever.

This is where things get a bit weird.

The next day comes when she's supposed to be online. Nothing. The next day, nothing. Two more days go by, and she hasn't even read her direct messages. She's on my mind quite a lot. I'm thinking of that poor, shy girl crying... Maybe she's lost her job, quit, or worse. I'm going out of my mind. yeah I'm just a stranger on the Internet but I kinda care about her, I just want to know why she's not even reading her messages.

So I do some googling and end up on a website that finds cam girls aliases using their image. And to my horror I see about 20 different different versions of her all with different hairstyles and different names going back 3 years. I look at some of the profiles, they are either banned, disabled or dead. The ones that still show show followers, are all between 1500 and 1800 with last broadcasts being over a year ago. It was also clear from some of the pictures and videos that this girl was not shy at all, in fact far from it.

So it's clear that this is just what she does. She creates a room, lets it get to no more than 2k followers then abandons it starts over with a new persona and room. What blows my mind is how she's able to just take all these fans she's gained and fake relationships she's formed and just throw them all away like they are nothing.

Why would she do this instead of growing one channel into something she could make a living off of? She clearly has the talent. I'm not even mad at her because she never even asked me for anything. It's not like I feel like she was trying to scam me; that's what makes it all so baffling. I have wondered if maybe others were being scammed and she just spared me? I probably would have fallen for it too if she had tried. I'm just disappointed; I genuinely miss her and her antics. She was entertaining.

Is this a common practice among models, and can anybody shed some light on what kind of girl I encountered?

Thanks.

Hi, Fanta! “To your horror?” Lol. Guys acting like this are one of the reasons that many cam models don’t like to tell you guys about the other sites she’s on. Models often do things differently on other sites (for very good reason), and that is totally fine. You don’t have to participate in every single platform the model is on. You’re acting as if this girl somehow did you wrong or scammed you, which doesn’t seem to be the case here.

Cam girls are allowed to take days off, and have a break. She’ll read her messages and get back on cam when she’s ready to. When she comes back, make sure you’re not hounding her with “OMG, where were you??? Why didn’t you read my messages???” You can send her a nice tip note to let her know that you’ve missed her. :h: I think that’d be really sweet.

Every time I see your name on here, the song from the Fanta commercial is going to pop into my head. :p “Want a Fanta? Don’t cha want a…want a Fanta?”
 
Hi, Fanta! “To your horror?” Lol. Guys acting like this are one of the reasons that many cam models don’t like to tell you guys about the other sites she’s on. Models often do things differently on other sites (for very good reason), and that is totally fine. You don’t have to participate in every single platform the model is on. You’re acting as if this girl somehow did you wrong or scammed you, which doesn’t seem to be the case here.

Cam girls are allowed to take days off, and have a break. She’ll read her messages and get back on cam when she’s ready to. When she comes back, make sure you’re not hounding her with “OMG, where were you??? Why didn’t you read my messages???” You can send her a nice tip note to let her know that you’ve missed her. :h: I think that’d be really sweet.

Every time I see your name on here, the song from the Fanta commercial is going to pop into my head. :p “Want a Fanta? Don’t cha want a…want a Fanta?”
Thanks. You all seem really lovely here so far. You've helped me more than I expected and given me some things to think about. Sometimes you just need somebody to slap you in the face and give you a reality check.
 
help me make sense of why she does what she does. This seems really weird to me.

can anybody shed some light on what kind of girl I encountered?
She's working her job. Whatever you see on screen is almost always a persona, quite different from the IRL person. The persona could be of her choosing, or the studio's direction. It's aimed at earning, not being judged.
Some studios will move the individual models around in different room names, and that's part of their business. They may create a new account just to take advantage of the 'new' room tag, and target that account at picking up a certain follower base. If it's unsuccessful, they try something else.
Studios have high costs, and operate with high risks (at least in countries where camming is illegal, such as Russia) but they make huge profits. So if a particular model is not hitting targets, it can be ruthless and the studio will let them go in favour of another who will earn them much more. Then that model may pop up again somewhere else, with a different studio, maybe with a totally different look.
Not been online for a few days? Happens all the time. Maybe she's got sick, maybe there's a regular personal event that means she's not comfortable working on those days, maybe she took a break.
Please don't go down the rabbit hole of using that shitty site to try and uncover other accounts.
TBH it sounds to me as though you were hoping to white knight for this model but then realised she isn't wet behind the ears and felt hurt by that.
 
i dont see how this is a strange encounter. some cammodels like to change their cam persona/name/sites like every 6 months because they like the change or new girl status or whatever reason.

and the whole scratch thing i am covered in bruises and scratches because im adhd and constantly having stupid fucking accidents. do you know how awkward it is to explain to someone the bruise on your forehead is because you ran into a door? because i usually tell a white lie that was caused in my sleep or i hit it on my desk. why? because i dont want people jumping to conclusions because the truth sounds like a lie DV victims tell to protect their abuser.

anywho i think you are being a bit too judgmental and infantilizing this grown woman who probably knows exactly what she is doing. also she can take two days off. she is allowed to take time off to unwind. maybe you should take a few days offline to unwind from her.
 
So it's clear that this is just what she does. She creates a room, lets it get to no more than 2k followers then abandons it starts over with a new persona and room. What blows my mind is how she's able to just take all these fans she's gained and fake relationships she's formed and just throw them all away like they are nothing.


You really answered yourself here by stating it in the very same sentence. it's all fake relationships, chances are she is just trying to do whatever she needs to to get by.
I think most guys fall victim at some point or another to being misled, but just laugh it off and not worry about it. Just remember she is trying to do what she thinks is best fro her, for whatever reason she thinks it, even if you think it's wrong. She may just be trying to take advantage of the "new" tag on websites, or like already said leaving/quitting or being removed from studios and then going to a new one.
 
I'm more disturbed by the fact she was offline for less than 48 hours and you decided to Sherlock Holmes her and now you know more than you were supposed to know and that's clouding your outlook.
THIS. Why the fuck would you use these intrusive websites to look for her aliases? Cam models don't owe you shit besides giving a good show when you pay for it and we deserve the right to our privacy and changing accounts, stage names and looks. Your actions were stalkerish OP.
 
THIS. Why the fuck would you use these intrusive websites to look for her aliases? Cam models don't owe you shit besides giving a good show when you pay for it and we deserve the right to our privacy and changing accounts, stage names and looks. Your actions were stalkerish OP.
I know, quite right. I've come to realise this. I'm ashamed by my own behaviour.
 
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THIS. Why the fuck would you use these intrusive websites to look for her aliases? Cam models don't owe you shit besides giving a good show when you pay for it and we deserve the right to our privacy and changing accounts, stage names and looks. Your actions were stalkerish OP.
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!! My Thoughts exactly. CREEPY Stalker!!!
 
So it's clear that this is just what she does. She creates a room, lets it get to no more than 2k followers then abandons it starts over with a new persona and room. What blows my mind is how she's able to just take all these fans she's gained and fake relationships she's formed and just throw them all away like they are nothing.
It's probably less suspicious than you are making it out to be. I've known lots of models over the years who have multiple profiles going back years. Some of it will be for the reasons that Vixxen outlined above. In other cases I suspect that in countries where studios are prevalent. the models move from studio to studio (from various reasons). While the registration is (as far as I'm aware) tied to the performer, some studios don't even give the models access to their own login details. As a result, when they more to a new studio, a new profile is created, often on different cam sites.

And as for your other point about confronting her? What is there to confront her about? What exactly has she done wrong? Who has she betrayed?
 
While the registration is (as far as I'm aware) tied to the performer, some studios don't even give the models access to their own login details.

Studio accounts are sub accounts under a master studio account. The profits from the model are transferred automatically to the master account every day. The studio owner can request ID information be removed from a sub account. It basically belongs to the studio in every way, the model can't take it with them unless the studio specifically requests to release the account (convert a sub account to a normal account)
 
You give off stalker vibes to me. This is my worse fear is a customer to be this obsessed with me that he knows the last time I took days off. Guys like you scare me
I imagine some dude in a basement sweating and searching nonstop paying for private investigator programs to locate a cam girl he is madly in love with.. he is so beyond wrong for doing Deep searches for a woman he doesn’t even know. AT ALL!
 
Yes I’m not into dudes who can’t take it just as fun, without having to make it something it’s not. If I caught any of my Regs doing this shit they’d be blocked forever. No more shows. Done deal. 86ed. History. The end. This kind of behavior makes me worry about another person’s mental and social health, and that’s not something I should have to do as a cam model. Also nothing I have responsibility for, as an entertainer on the internet.

Hell to the no OP. Hell to the no.
Tip. Masturbate. Move on.
 
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there has been an uptick on threads of members afraid and becoming an internet PI over a model because she takes a few days off from streaming and replying to private messages. not trying to rag on the OP, but I really feel for these models with the consistent attention-needy members. it's like when trying to take a few days or weeks for themselves models are a mom trying to snack while locked in their pantry trying to get a break from their attention-needy toddlers
 
I had a few thoughts but others have mostly hit on them. I'll just say that when I read the post, my first reaction was: Why do you care so much about her behavior that you are spending hours digging around? You have "known" this model for 2-3 months and even if it had been 2-3 years, there isn't any obligation on her part to explain either her personal life or her approach to her job.

As others said, there could be any number of explanations. It could be a strategy she finds useful. Maybe she finds it fun to keep reinventing herself. Maybe she has some mental health problems. Maybe she's had problems with studios. There are endless possibilities.

It's not a good idea to get obsessive and start digging around. It's best to remember the purpose of the sites and keep it transactional. Disclaimer: I'm generalizing only from knowing a couple of models closely IRL, and my own observations, but: They don't want you knowing anything beyond what they want to convey. It's a job. (One of my friends used to say how she couldn't believe how many members on sites would say to her, almost with shock and judgment, things like, "You mean you only do this for money?" (like....WHAT??? Did you think this was Find-a-Friend or a dating site? Or it's just a hobby?) 😂
 
After a few days of being unable to get this whole thing out of my head I've done a lot of self reflection and it turns out I was... am experiencing something called limerence.

Just wow. I never knew something could be so potent and completely take over my mind like that and make me do things like that. I was pretty much obsessing over this poor girl and I didn't even realise it. It's just knocked me for six and i feel sick to my stomach. I've been lurking around cam sites for years and never had an issue like this but something about this girl just absolutely intoxicated me. I feel terrible. Gonna leave the cam sites and focus other things for a while. Thanks.
 
I wanted to just chime in here and say that I’ve had weeks on end where I just couldn’t force myself to get on cam. After a few really slow days, it’s hard to find the motivation. I personally start feeling like what’s the point, I’ll just be showing it all for the greys, or I’ll be wasting my time, it makes me feel ugly, unwanted, and not good enough. I start thinking about plastic surgery (if only I could afford it) then I start thinking maybe I’m just not what people want. I also feel like sleep is a better option than getting on and feeling rejected. Especially after working my restaurant job all morning. Or after dealing with my Mom and Sister throwing attitude. Another reason I’ve went missing for a week or two is back to back appointments, and babysitting for my brother, family things, and before you know it the day flys by and it’s bedtime. Just bc she has multiple personalities and old profiles doesn’t mean she’d doing it for nefarious purposes, I’ve considered doing that for the exposure, and being able to take advantage of the new girl placement. Or it could be that she felt like what she was doing wasn’t working, thus the lower viewers and she thought reinventing herself would make it better. There’s so many reasons this could’ve happened. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking her why. However, it’s never good to attack someone, which is essentially what confrontation is. It puts people on the defensive and they may not bet comfortable answering at all in that situation.
 
limerence
I think this happens a lot more than people talk about. The "relationship" aspect is a big part of the draw of cam sites. If it wasn't a factor, guys would just watch porn without any interactive element. I'm guessing that most of the time, the clients on the sites keep a healthy perspective. You can have the friendly interactions; maybe even something that starts to seem like real friendship (maybe). But I also think that there are plenty of times when a client can become kind of obsessed and entirely lose sight of the fact that he doesn't really know the person on the other side of the screen, despite all the friendly or flirtatious banter and even what seems like self-disclosure. Some guys might be more prone to this happening for various reasons. At least you were reflecting on it and wondering why you got so drawn in. That seems like a good thing, having insight about it. Reading a lot of posts on this forum, and talking to model friends, some members don't have that insight, and become completely bought in to something that they created by their own payment, something artificial.
 
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