Reality check

[htg00]

Haven't a bunch of us told our stories in this thread already....?

I'm sorry, I'm pretty new to the forum (as in, <24hrs new) and I wasn't finding anything searching, I apologize!

 

[amberfoxx]

Hello I'm still new to the site is there anyone who can point me int the right direction?

 

[Liv_deBoudoir]

Love this thread. Made me think of this podcast called Sexwork BB that a few camgirls are doing (it's awesome, IMO and recommend it to everyone. on iTunes) and they interview Scarlet Raven who is a mother of teenagers and is out to her kids. Which I think is awesome. The thing is, too, that with the explosion of internet porn, I think people are getting a lot more exposure to a lot more sex than they ever did. So I'd guess that the kids that current sex workers have/are gonna be having will have an even more blase approach to sex work than their parents.

Long story short, our kids are probably gonna be so accustomed sex and the internet that camming won't really even make them bat an eye. They're gonna be all- so you didn't have 250 person BDSM VR gangbangs?! So vanilla mom. Lolololol. Maybe don't take my word for it though...

 

[BonnieWildfire]

Totally agree with what you're saying, know what you're getting yourself in for but is it just me who is bugged by the excessive use of 'camwhore' in this?...or is that just a common term on this forum

 

[paige_orion]

Totally agree with what you're saying, know what you're getting yourself in for but is it just me who is bugged by the excessive use of 'camwhore' in this?...or is that just a common term on this forum

Taking this conversation down a momentary side-tangent because this is a topic that has been fascinating me lately!

I can see how the term would really upset some people. It's kind of like the words, "cunt". Some people really despise that word, other people embrace it. I know a lot of models who embrace the word, much like you'll find a lot of Queer folk have embraced that word to describe themselves. It robs the word a bit of its derogatory power and becomes something else, a statement of pride instead of a demeaning slur. Of course, it's also a bit of a sensitive topic. Hearing the term "camwhore" from a fellow model tends to have one connotation. Hearing the term "camwhore" from a member can feel completely different, and not in a pleasant way. With such complexities, you'll find more people getting riled up at the intentions behind the words, rather than the words themselves.

You'll hear civilian people hurl the word "whore" as if it were the worst thing in the world. As if that is enough to invalidate all of your opinions and experiences and dehumanize you. Just a simple word, yet it can hold such negativity, an attempt to make you feel ashamed of who you are and what you do. Which is why you'll find people who have decided to steal that word back. To drain it of its hate and disgust and replace it with something more playful. Taking the word back and applying it to yourself in a way that isn't demeaning... It means other people can't use it to drag you down.

It reminds me of a quote from Game of Thrones, talking about a character's bastard heritage and the shame that went along with it. "Let me give you some counsel, bastard," Lannister said. "Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."

I don't see it used superduper commonly, but it also isn't an uncommon term either. MOST people tend to use "cammodel" or "camgirl", but I don't even blink anymore when I see fellow models use the words "whore" or "slut" either. So, yeah. You'll see it used here and there, but usually not as excessively as in the first initial post of this thread!

(Again, emphasizing that this is all random rambles pertaining to words used by camgirls about themselves. When I see the word "camwhore" being used liberally by members who are not involved in the industry, it usually isn't used with playfulness in mind and usually isn't meant to provoke any pleasant feelings, and that does irk me).

 

[BonnieWildfire]

Taking this conversation down a momentary side-tangent because this is a topic that has been fascinating me lately!

I can see how the term would really upset some people. It's kind of like the words, "cunt". Some people really despise that word, other people embrace it. I know a lot of models who embrace the word, much like you'll find a lot of Queer folk have embraced that word to describe themselves. It robs the word a bit of its derogatory power and becomes something else, a statement of pride instead of a demeaning slur. Of course, it's also a bit of a sensitive topic. Hearing the term "camwhore" from a fellow model tends to have one connotation. Hearing the term "camwhore" from a member can feel completely different, and not in a pleasant way. With such complexities, you'll find more people getting riled up at the intentions behind the words, rather than the words themselves.

You'll hear civilian people hurl the word "whore" as if it were the worst thing in the world. As if that is enough to invalidate all of your opinions and experiences and dehumanize you. Just a simple word, yet it can hold such negativity, an attempt to make you feel ashamed of who you are and what you do. Which is why you'll find people who have decided to steal that word back. To drain it of its hate and disgust and replace it with something more playful. Taking the word back and applying it to yourself in a way that isn't demeaning... It means other people can't use it to drag you down.

It reminds me of a quote from Game of Thrones, talking about a character's bastard heritage and the shame that went along with it. "Let me give you some counsel, bastard," Lannister said. "Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."

I don't see it used superduper commonly, but it also isn't an uncommon term either. MOST people tend to use "cammodel" or "camgirl", but I don't even blink anymore when I see fellow models use the words "whore" or "slut" either. So, yeah. You'll see it used here and there, but usually not as excessively as in the first initial post of this thread!

(Again, emphasizing that this is all random rambles pertaining to words used by camgirls about themselves. When I see the word "camwhore" being used liberally by members who are not involved in the industry, it usually isn't used with playfulness in mind and usually isn't meant to provoke any pleasant feelings, and that does irk me).

Thanks for taking the time to write that! Very insightful, it's weird because I normally pick up on stuff but I was a bit perplexed by it and just couldn't work out why such a good post left a bitter taste but tbh I thought it wasn't a cammodel and I couldn't really work out the tone but I am new to forums so that's why I asked yano, it didn't feel wrong because the comments weren't reflecting an issue so I knew I was missing something. Yeah I guess because whore is never really said positively like I can't think of an instance I've heard it not negatively and to sorta promote it I find it odd even though I totally understand the embracing it and having the power over the word and the impact.

Tbh though I've never had to defend myself from someone saying camwhore to me so it's really only here I saw it and it was a wee 'hmmmmm that's odd' moment.

But I shall raise my glass and say, if y'all be camwhores then amma camwhore too *clink clink cheers everybody*

 

[Liv_deBoudoir]

Hahahhaa yes Bonnie! Cheers to reclaiming camwhore! In all seriousness, however, I also find it a bit strong given that we're not full service sex workers, and thus don't experience the same level of physical risk as full service sex workers do. Although the mental/emotional risk is certainly a significant one for cam models! And of course the "my job is riskier than yours" competition between sex workers is never a good idea. I have always found the term "model" to be a bit of a euphemism, however. It's certainly a bit more than pretty poses.

 

[DearestVixen]

My parents both know what I do but not my step-dad or my siblings. I had a half brother of mine try to blackmail me when he found out!! (and no help from the police either except telling us to come to them if he does it again). I also got recognized in person one time and luckily slipped into a crowd before things got strange. This is the truth. I only have about 500 followers on two different sites and that is still enough to run into this kind of problem. There is always a possibility you will be harassed, you will be recognized, and you will be ostracized. This is not a profession for the fainthearted.

P.s. the person who blackmailed me sent pictures to my mom and dad (one of them was a poorly edited facebook profile photo which made me laugh my ass off, it wasn't nude or even from one of my shows, it was on my personal fb lmao)

 

[zoober]

The thing is, too, that with the explosion of internet porn, I think people are getting a lot more exposure to a lot more sex than they ever did. So I'd guess that the kids that current sex workers have/are gonna be having will have an even more blase approach to sex work than their parents.

I'd argue (though not forcefully), that there's new shades of grey at work. Yes, cam sites are different OK, but when you factor in things in like the mainstreaming of internet dating, the baser versions of that such as tinder or chat roulette for your c2c goodness, then web camming looks more like something on a continuum rather than an outlier.

As for a more blase approach than their parents, sure, dumb kids who become dumb adults will struggle to tell the difference

 

[Camilami]

It's fine to not care. I think we throw around the word "naive" when girls think they can avoid being recorded, or that having explicit adult images of themselves on the Internet forever will never affect them in their future.

We'll shoot. I thought I was so smart and safe, and now the other shoe has dropped. Can anyone tell me about how/if/when this has affected them? I'm hoping that that fact that most of the videos are behind pay sites will take care of most of the consequences, but I'm very afraid of what this is going to do to my future, I was just tired of being poor!

 

[zoober]

We'll shoot. I thought I was so smart and safe, and now the other shoe has dropped. Can anyone tell me about how/if/when this has affected them? I'm hoping that that fact that most of the videos are behind pay sites will take care of most of the consequences, but I'm very afraid of what this is going to do to my future, I was just tired of being poor!

Errr no. A neat wee example; a Romanian studio model I gas too obviously has Romania blocked from her homepage. Anyhoo, an ex boyfriend of a friend of hers rocked up in her room and started upsetting her. He was logging in from the UK, 100s of thousands of Eastern Europeans having migrated there. So even without proxy servers and all that rah rah rah, you just never know In terms of how affect, given she supports her parents and introduced her friend to her studio, no biggie. But Romania is very different in that regard.

 

[ImaniStJohn]

great thread! i am hoping that in the future sex work won't be so stigmatized. i am surprised it's taken this long to have a first lady with nude photos. i believe that the gen z/millennial/gen y folk will be more relaxed about the fact of nudity or sexuality and remove it from someones ability to be a positive worker/employee.

 

[GraceMahalo]

I see no shame lol. I'm a camgirl? Got a problem?

 

[LiljaSnow]

Love this thread. Made me think of this podcast called Sexwork BB that a few camgirls are doing (it's awesome, IMO and recommend it to everyone. on iTunes) and they interview Scarlet Raven who is a mother of teenagers and is out to her kids. Which I think is awesome. The thing is, too, that with the explosion of internet porn, I think people are getting a lot more exposure to a lot more sex than they ever did. So I'd guess that the kids that current sex workers have/are gonna be having will have an even more blase approach to sex work than their parents.

Long story short, our kids are probably gonna be so accustomed sex and the internet that camming won't really even make them bat an eye. They're gonna be all- so you didn't have 250 person BDSM VR gangbangs?! So vanilla mom. Lolololol. Maybe don't take my word for it though...

Haha I like your view on this!!!

 

[maeflowers420]

I am at a place in my life where I have shed so much baggage in the form of people that losing people over a personal career choice is no longer a threat.

 

[zoober]

I am at a place in my life where I have shed so much baggage in the form of people that losing people over a personal career choice is no longer a threat.

So taking a cue from you, cam girls need to think in terms of 1) assume shit will happen and 2) how many fucks they don't give today and tomorrow?

 

[H0twife420]

Well goodness I sure feel old...

Me too... My elementary school had two computers with oregon trail and paint....

 

[Fatquack]

Me too... My elementary school had two computers with oregon trail and paint....

You young whippersnapper, get of my lawn! My elementary school had no computers!

 

[maeflowers420]

So taking a cue from you, cam girls need to think in terms of 1) assume shit will happen and 2) how many fucks they don't give today and tomorrow?

It was a very personal statement and was obviously not meant to be taken as advice.

 

[Deedoo]

The point? If you don't want your friends and family to find out you're a camwhore, then don't become a camwhore. Don't want your grandkids to see videos of you anally fisting yourself? Then don't become a camwhore. Don't want the local authorities to find out you're a camwhore? I think I'm becoming redundant here.


Once something is on the internet, it is there forever. Making an attempt to change that fact only makes you look stupid.

This.... I love this and it is what I always say to myself whenever I see someone whining about having their stuff recorded. You agree to all of that with your model account, it says it right in the TOS or some other form of paperwork we gotta sign in order to broadcast. You deliver this beautifully! I just quoted the portions that really resonated

 

[AriRossi]

It's probably already available today in a limited form somewhere - being able to search video for blue eyed females with a C cup, BMI of 18 or whatever, and a scar on their left arm.

This was so priceless to me. I envisioned someone being like " The patch on her eye... THATS MOM!" You provide a very valid point about how time and the production of fresh content will slowly bury the old content but still not erasing what we have put out there. It's always important to think of the future and what your plan is IF you are outted.

 

[jolietjake]

Totally agree with what you're saying, know what you're getting yourself in for but is it just me who is bugged by the excessive use of 'camwhore' in this?...or is that just a common term on this forum

I am a member and I have a bit of a problem with that also, for what it's worth. I think that term lends itself to objectification and depersonalization way too easily. I would even say maybe makes it easier for a guy to justify acting rude and disrespectful toward a model. I mean, "after all, she's just a camwhore". How does that jibe with "we are human beings and have feelings"?

 

[curacing]

Hopefully in this PC world we live in the crass term "whore" will no longer be acceptable just like you can't call lgbt people queers or fags anymore.
I think some camgirls like to use it to own as a way of say I'm a camwhore and FU if you have a problem with it.
Personally I'd never call a lady that.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

This.... I love this and it is what I always say to myself whenever I see someone whining about having their stuff recorded. You agree to all of that with your model account, it says it right in the TOS or some other form of paperwork we gotta sign in order to broadcast. You deliver this beautifully! I just quoted the portions that really resonated

Shit, people need to realize that anything, anywhere can end up on the web and they're screwed. All those FB pics of someone doing things not quite socially acceptable at this time, may come back to haunt them in the not too distant future. More and more employers are doing in depth internet searches of potential job candidates.

Some employers have morality clauses which may either prevent employment. Or, may cause termination. If you signed the contract, there is very little if any, legal recourse.

 

[KarlaKaress]

i read this about once a month just to make sure i'm still okay with getting a screaming phone call from my mother one day lol

 

[jolietjake]

Shit, people need to realize that anything, anywhere can end up on the web and they're screwed. All those FB pics of someone doing things not quite socially acceptable at this time, may come back to haunt them in the not too distant future. More and more employers are doing in depth internet searches of potential job candidates.

Some employers have morality clauses which may either prevent employment. Or, may cause termination. If you signed the contract, there is very little if any, legal recourse.

I personally assume that everything I do on the internet is not private and could be discovered by someone if they wanted to. So whenever I post something whether it is my blog or my newfound songwriting, it is gonna be seen by someone I know. At this stage of my career it probably doesn’t matter since I am fairly close to the end of it and I am well respected for my work. But if I was younger and at the beginning of my career I would probably have a real different attitude toward that. I might be much more reticent to post anything personal or to go anywhere online that could be construed as different or inappropriate. The internet is forever.

 

[SavannahQ]

years ago one of my exes discovered my MFC profile shortly after I started camming (seriously, I had only done two public shows!), so that just goes to show you that no matter where you're at in your journey, people you know can and will find you. he threatened to send my parents screenshots of my public shows but ultimately never did. the whole experience was enough to scare me away from cam work for a really long time though.

coming back to it all with new found confidence, I'm realizing that the people who try to blackmail, exploit, demean and destroy camgirls like this are just trying to claim some semblance of power and domination over us. it has nothing to do with the actual work being inherently degrading (because it isn't!), it's all about them seeing it as a vulnerability they can manipulate to get you to do what they want. or just straight up hurt you, seeking some kind of misguided revenge for a previous slight, real or imagined.

at the end of the day, cam work is liberating because YOU are in control, loving yourself shamelessly, and anyone who tries to use it against you is just a piece of shit that shouldn't be paid any mind. I wish back then I had been able to say "fuck you, so what?" instead of begging him not to do anything. yes, there are sometimes real world consequences like losing your job, having a falling out with your family, etc. because of exposed cam work. these are the risks that must always be assessed. but at the end of the day, no one can take your freedom of expression and autonomy.

 

[opphs]

You young whippersnapper, get of my lawn! My elementary school had no computers!

Fat had to walk fifteen miles to school in the snow barefoot

 

[Fatquack]

Fat had to walk fifteen miles to school in the snow barefoot

Uphill both ways, Opphs!

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

Uphill both ways, Opphs!

You had feet, and a school! pure luxury. I had to hobble on my stumps to the sewage plant, where strained sewage with our hands looking for the good stuff.