Questions from a (hopefully) self-aware member

[silentm0de]

A lot of people seem to believe that guys can't me completely monogamous.

Well. When I was young, I mean, really young, like 16-25, I had a totally different view on that matter than I do today. I was a hopeless romantic, a fool, believing in true love and I would do anything for my lady. I denied myself so much opportunities to live my life to the fullest, for the sake of one woman. The woman who is now my wife. I am full of Gin so I might say things that sound strange.
She wouldn't fuck me for 13 years into our marriage. I never touched another woman, I was loyal. I lived by all the virtues. I channeled my self-caged sexuality into art, which still helps me today. I was productive, educated myself and had a bad conscience every time I jerked off to porn, after she had me lick her cunt for an hour, then threw me out of the bedroom. I thought I was better off dead.
For the sake of being loyal and monogamous, I literally threw my fucking life away. All those years, they will never return. At 40, I became aware of what I had done to myself. Only to see that it was too late.

Sorry for the *rant*. What I want to say is: NEVER deny yourself for the sake of SOMEONE/SOMETHING. At least, reflect that shit after some time.

If you are in a healthy relationship, there is no need to visit a camgirl. Or is there? I don't know. To me, my camgirl is the only solace I have and I will never be ashamed of visiting her.

 

[silentm0de]

I'm similar to you in that I'm single, and if was in a serious/committed relationship with someone I wouldn't visit cam sites, strip clubs, etc. if they themselves weren't open to doing it either. I think it really depends on the person as to how it works. Though, I would still probably view some level of porn, pin-up, etc.

It isn't just some men that have issues with monogamy. I've been cheated on in many of my relationships, yet I've not done it myself.

As to spending money on cam sites, it's your prerogative to do as you decide. If you feel it's not to your liking, that's fine. For some people it's video games, others it's cars or similar. Enjoy your hobbies as you see fit.

I really envy you for your sensible, unobscured view on life and reality. Maybe I would see it the same way, today, if my choices had been different.

 

[MarieElise]

I am full of Gin so I might say things that sound strange.

Well, this seems like a guy convo, so I'll stay out of it, other than to say this. Not to go total Mom zone (haha I literally can't help myself), but remember to drink some water, eat something and maybe take a Tylenol before you go to bed/ have one on the bedside table. Or you will be hating life tomorrow. It's not your poor liver's fault.

 

[lost_angel]

I'm similar to you in that I'm single, and if was in a serious/committed relationship with someone I wouldn't visit cam sites, strip clubs, etc. if they themselves weren't open to doing it either. I think it really depends on the person as to how it works. Though, I would still probably view some level of porn, pin-up, etc.

It isn't just some men that have issues with monogamy. I've been cheated on in many of my relationships, yet I've not done it myself.

As to spending money on cam sites, it's your prerogative to do as you decide. If you feel it's not to your liking, that's fine. For some people it's video games, others it's cars or similar. Enjoy your hobbies as you see fit.

Yeah I agree with you, both men and women cheat. I just noticed that it's not uncommon to hear the "we're not supposed to be monogamous" excuse quite often.

True, everyone's hobbies and interests are different. I come from a finance background, I'm not saying it's not worth it... just that the opportunity cost is high. I've happily spent a lot of money on cam sites in the past. I guess my priorities are just changing.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I really envy you for your sensible, unobscured view on life and reality. Maybe I would see it the same way, today, if my choices had been different.

We really aren't that different. Thus why I said before that it's better to end a shitty marriage and enjoy life than it is to stay for the money, the kid, etc.

 

[lost_angel]

Well. When I was young, I mean, really young, like 16-25, I had a totally different view on that matter than I do today. I was a hopeless romantic, a fool, believing in true love and I would do anything for my lady. I denied myself so much opportunities to live my life to the fullest, for the sake of one woman. The woman who is now my wife. I am full of Gin so I might say things that sound strange.
She wouldn't fuck me for 13 years into our marriage. I never touched another woman, I was loyal. I lived by all the virtues. I channeled my self-caged sexuality into art, which still helps me today. I was productive, educated myself and had a bad conscience every time I jerked off to porn, after she had me lick her cunt for an hour, then threw me out of the bedroom. I thought I was better off dead.
For the sake of being loyal and monogamous, I literally threw my fucking life away. All those years, they will never return. At 40, I became aware of what I had done to myself. Only to see that it was too late.

Sorry for the *rant*. What I want to say is: NEVER deny yourself for the sake of SOMEONE/SOMETHING. At least, reflect that shit after some time.

If you are in a healthy relationship, there is no need to visit a camgirl. Or is there? I don't know. To me, my camgirl is the only solace I have and I will never be ashamed of visiting her.

Sorry to hear, that's really tough. I didn't intend to make a judgement call on your situation. If your needs aren't being met, that's a different story. I was speaking about being in a healthy relationship and doing these things for more selfish reasons.

I do hope things get better for you.

 

[silentm0de]

Well, this seems like a guy convo, so I'll stay out of it, other than to say this. Not to go total Mom zone (haha I literally can't help myself), but remember to drink some water, eat something and maybe take a Tylenol before you go to bed/ have one on the bedside table. Or you will be hating life tomorrow. It's not your poor liver's fault.

OMG You are so sweet! I have good Gin that gives no headache, I drink a lot of water, and I am not planning on getting wasted today. Please take part in the discussion, if you dare!

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Yeah I agree with you, both men and women cheat. I just noticed that it's not uncommon to hear the "we're not supposed to be monogamous" excuse quite often.

True, everyone's hobbies and interests are different. I come from a finance background, I'm not saying it's not worth it... just that the opportunity cost is high. I've happily spent a lot of money on cam sites in the past. I guess my priorities are just changing.

Nothing wrong with changing priorities, as mine have over the years as well. My point was more about how people choose different hobbies and may ultimately "waste time and money" doing them instead. How many people have no issues dropping $5K on a custom built gaming system, own multiple gaming systems and have countless games for each? How much time do they spend playing said games?

 

[silentm0de]

I was speaking about being in a healthy relationship and doing these things for more selfish reasons.

I hope I didn't sound rude !! And of course, if I knew such thing as a healthy relationship, I would be like you. Just be careful, my friend, and follow your heart!

 

[silentm0de]

Nothing wrong with changing priorities, as mine have over the years as well. My point was more about how people choose different hobbies and may ultimately "waste time and money" doing them instead. How many people have no issues dropping $5K on a custom built gaming system, own multiple gaming systems and have countless games for each? How much time do they spend playing said games?

um..... I am one of those.. PC Master Race guys... Last year I spent 1K+ on a RTX2080ti and guess what. Release of 30xx series renders my card as the worst investment ever.

 

[lost_angel]

Nothing wrong with changing priorities, as mine have over the years as well. My point was more about how people choose different hobbies and may ultimately "waste time and money" doing them instead. How many people have no issues dropping $5K on a custom built gaming system, own multiple gaming systems and have countless games for each? How much time do they spend playing said games?

For me it's cars lol

I hope I didn't sound rude !! And of course, if I knew such thing as a healthy relationship, I would be like you. Just be careful, my friend, and follow your heart!

Not at all, good lookin out!

 

[lost_angel]

um..... I am one of those.. PC Master Race guys... Last year I spent 1K+ on a RTX2080ti and guess what. Release of 30xx series renders my card as the worst investment ever.

This is so weird, my friend is in the same boat. Sell it now since the 30xx series are out of stock in a lot of places. Then get the 3070 or 3080 when they're back in stock.

 

[MarieElise]

OMG You are so sweet! I have good Gin that gives no headache, I drink a lot of water, and I am not planning on getting wasted today. Please take part in the discussion, if you dare!

Oh good, I shall cease and desist worrying. Good luck with this conversation.
The high-end stuff is so much better. I'm not so much into Gin, although I do like it. The high-end Vodka is great! Filtered so much, no hangover whatsoever, also makes it so much more dangerous and alluring though. Anyway I'm off... Peace ✌

 

[Deleted member 37064]

um..... I am one of those.. PC Master Race guys... Last year I spent 1K+ on a RTX2080ti and guess what. Release of 30xx series renders my card as the worst investment ever.

I used to be one of those. Then I realized it's a waste of time, money and effort for me and I slowly lost interest in gaming and picked up other hobbies. But, if people find it fun and exciting, go for it!

For me it's cars lol

Exactly. For myself, I don't need/want a fancy car or put a lot of things onto it. I just need it to be decent, reliable and fit the few requirements I need.