Politely asking a model NOT to fake moan in a PVT.. How?

[cbhours]

Its your private, nothing wrong with making the request without criticism. You could turn it into some roleplay person where she has to keep it down to whisper levels

I meant to say some "roleplay session" time for more coffee

 

[veggiebabyy]

"Just enjoy yourself" is IMO shorthand for "get off while I watch". Why is that not a legitimate request?

Because it's not shorthand for "get off while I watch." There are guys out there who genuinely think that "just enjoy yourself" is going to result in some elaborate show with deepthroating, anal, and choking myself with a belt. Plenty of members really do not realize that our off-cam masturbation is different from our on-cam masturbation.

If I'm asked to enjoy myself, it's gonna be a hitachi, maaaybe a dildo, and minimal movement and moans. That may be great for you, but that would disappoint quite a lot of the people who tell me to just enjoy myself. And for 60/80 tk a minute, I don't want to disappoint you.

I meant to say some "roleplay session" time for more coffee

This also crossed my mind. OP, you could say you want a pvt where she has to "hold the moan" because there are people nearby and she can't get caught. Then afterward, tell her your really liked that pvt and you'd like future pvts to be similar.

 

[CheeseMoon]

Honestly I get pissed if someone accuses me of faking, because I'm being genuine. But if they are polite and ask me to be a little, quieter, I'll do my best, but some moans slip out.

Keep on moaning! Some models can almost make me finish off hands free with my eyes closed, just by their moans alone. I wish I was joking (not really).

 

[CheeseMoon]

Because it's not shorthand for "get off while I watch."

It would be if I showed up in your room to ask that, but I get your point. If you don't ask for anything, you usually won't get anything.
It's the tried and tested negotiation maxim: "Make them tell you no".

 

[SMuser69]

This about WHEN you say it and HOW you say it. I mostly use SM so I don't have an issue in an exclusive to tell the model when she's doing something that is disrupting the mood. That said I wouldn't us the word 'faking' I'd just say it's a little loud maybe suggest muffling herself. Models generally prefer criticism that directly increases their business with you than for you to quietly become disinterested and never are seen again.

In a group or social chat situation I'm not sure what to do since often the model is doing was she fill her 'majority' paying audience is there for.

Personally I like loud but I dislike 'fish flailing' or 'exorcism' orgasm that seem WAY over the top. Also when a model knows they are loud but doesn't balance their mic for it leading to audio breaking or you having to adjust your setting (anything that makes me use my hands for something other than ME during a session isn't a good thing).

 

[MarieElise]

Dude she is moaning while giving a dildo a blowjob, I think it’s pretty safe to assume she is faking at least that.

Just want to add, I get extremely turned on, and moan loudly giving dildo blow jobs, and it's 100% not fake. I know that lots of people do not get turned on by that, but I absolutely do. I don't think it would be safe to assume that she is faking in that instance, at all. Just like I enjoy giving head irl, I find it a huge turn on to suck a dildo.

If someone accused me of being fake for that, I would feel really, really hurt, and likely lash back that I was "sorry they felt so insecure". So I definitely would not make any assumptions, or use the word fake at all. Which I guess was what I was trying to say initially, but I was worried to hurt feelings.

As a very busy private based model, I am happy that those who do not like my style, find other models. Perhaps if I were quieter, and not so busy, I would feel differently. But I frequently struggle to keep up with the physical and energetic demand for private shows. My perspective on silently moving on to another model, comes directly from my experience of being an extremely busy private based model. I honestly, don't even like admitting that, because I feel like it comes across egoful, but it really is the 100% truth. So just to point out that not everyone is turned on or off, by the same things. It is never safe to assume that someone is faking, just because they are turned on by, and express themselves differently from you, or how you think that they should. And it could come across extremely hurtful, and shaming. Especially if the word fake was used.

I am not aiming this at Mila directly, I just want to share an honest piece of information, because I was genuinely shocked by this statement. I also don't want to sound lecturing, even though I do. I just feel a correction is in order here, to halt any potential spread of misinformation.

(ETA - I made up the word egoful, it's not a real word btw).

 

[NotYou]

Just to say I have been reading everyone's replies and I truly do appreciate all of your input regarding this.
I definitely would have never said it in a public show, or even in a PM while we are in public. I definitely would have discussed/asked it at the start of our pvt show when we're figuring out what we're doing. I would never ever be rude or anything because that's just not me and the fact she is a genuinely lovely and kind woman and I WANT to keep doing shows with her because she is very enjoyable and fun (and I do really love her accent a lot too when she speaks)

Just want to add, I get extremely turned on, and moan loudly giving dildo blow jobs, and it's 100% not fake. I know that lots of people do not get turned on by that, but I absolutely do. I don't think it would be safe to assume that she is faking in that instance, at all. Just like I enjoy giving head irl, I find it a huge turn on to suck a dildo.

If someone accused me of being fake for that, I would feel really, really hurt, and likely lash back that I was "sorry they felt so insecure". So I definitely would not make any assumptions, or use the word fake at all. Which I guess was what I was trying to say initially, but I was worried to hurt feelings.

Just to touch slightly/briefly on this about the blowjob on the dildo: she literally kept making the exact same exaggerated noises whilst going from one thing to another, including sucking a toy. Not to say she doesn't also enjoy giving a blowjob or get really turned on by some of the other things, but it's the same consistent noise throughout, no matter what she is doing. It was anything how you would typically associate with a blowjob "moaning". For me i'd probably associate something like a quiet "mmmm mmmhhhmm" (lol not sure how to spell it out hahaha sorry) but she just went from a loud "ooooo aaaaaa aaaa ohhhhhh" from position 1 to position 2 etc.

 

[Finchomatic]

I moan a lot because thats my sex talk. I get accused of faking quite a bit, but I'm honestly not faking. I'm just doing what I normally do. I especially moan more when I start doing things to myself.


Is this me?

Honestly I get pissed if someone accuses me of faking, because I'm being genuine. But if they are polite and ask me to be a little, quieter, I'll do my best, but some moans slip out.

The only thing I accuse you of is taking no shit from anyone. Oh wait... That's a good thing.



@Brett M

I went into a private today (Something I rarely do).
Before we started I asked for her ground rules in order to not cross any comfort zones. I asked her if it was cool not to moan. You know what she said? Sure, it's your private

 

[MarieElise]

Just to touch slightly/briefly on this about the blowjob on the dildo: she literally kept making the exact same exaggerated noises whilst going from one thing to another, including sucking a toy. Not to say she doesn't also enjoy giving a blowjob or get really turned on by some of the other things, but it's the same consistent noise throughout, no matter what she is doing. It was anything how you would typically associate with a blowjob "moaning". For me i'd probably associate something like a quiet "mmmm mmmhhhmm" (lol not sure how to spell it out hahaha sorry) but she just went from a loud "ooooo aaaaaa aaaa ohhhhhh" from position 1 to position 2 etc.

Well, it sounds like you do know what you like. I would have to see it myself, to see if it came across as fake. This description still does not make me think "oh yeah, definitely fake". Coming from the perspective of an extremely sensory sensitive individual, with a huge sex drive. Perhaps you are correct, and this individual model is faking. However your description (in written words), is not conveying that kind of definite conclusion to me. Hence my warning you to be very cautious.

 

[Lelo1]

An usual show = 500 tokens.
A "genuine" show = 1000 tokens.

There is a secret menu :O

 

[Lizzy_Beth]

Just an example:
An usual show = 500 tokens.
A "genuine" show = 1000 tokens.

This is like when a member asks me for my real name and I say I’ll tell them if they tip and then I just give them a second fake name.

 

[AmberCutie]

I know I am a bit late to this, but I just have to say that I would feel so embarrassed to be called out by someone who regularly takes me private for this kind of thing. I would likely feel too weird to do another show with the guy if he made me feel like I was doing some thing silly. So I would tread lightly with mentioning it to her.

 

[kristenjade]

I moan a lot because thats my sex talk. I get accused of faking quite a bit, but I'm honestly not faking. I'm just doing what I normally do. I especially moan more when I start doing things to myself.


Is this me?

Honestly I get pissed if someone accuses me of faking, because I'm being genuine. But if they are polite and ask me to be a little, quieter, I'll do my best, but some moans slip out.

I'm exactly the same as you. Also a guilty member of the "moaning while giving a dildo BJ" club (because....I find it hot and not moaning takes me wayyyy out of the mood).

OP, if someone expressed a preference for no/quieter moaning in a private, I'd personally direct them to another model. I hate suppressing my natural self and it would result in a pvt I'd feel uncomfy in, and most likely, the member would end up finding awkward too.

 

[Mila_]

Just want to add, I get extremely turned on, and moan loudly giving dildo blow jobs, and it's 100% not fake. I know that lots of people do not get turned on by that, but I absolutely do. I don't think it would be safe to assume that she is faking in that instance, at all. Just like I enjoy giving head irl, I find it a huge turn on to suck a dildo.

If someone accused me of being fake for that, I would feel really, really hurt, and likely lash back that I was "sorry they felt so insecure". So I definitely would not make any assumptions, or use the word fake at all. Which I guess was what I was trying to say initially, but I was worried to hurt feelings.

As a very busy private based model, I am happy that those who do not like my style, find other models. Perhaps if I were quieter, and not so busy, I would feel differently. But I frequently struggle to keep up with the physical and energetic demand for private shows. My perspective on silently moving on to another model, comes directly from my experience of being an extremely busy private based model. I honestly, don't even like admitting that, because I feel like it comes across egoful, but it really is the 100% truth. So just to point out that not everyone is turned on or off, by the same things. It is never safe to assume that someone is faking, just because they are turned on by, and express themselves differently from you, or how you think that they should. And it could come across extremely hurtful, and shaming. Especially if the word fake was used.

I am not aiming this at Mila directly, I just want to share an honest piece of information, because I was genuinely shocked by this statement. I also don't want to sound lecturing, even though I do. I just feel a correction is in order here, to halt any potential spread of misinformation.

(ETA - I made up the word egoful, it's not a real word btw).

Well, I don’t want to get into a pointless argument but in the spirit of correcting misinformation I want to explain the facts behind my reasoning.

When you are giving a blowjob to a real penis or a dildo, doesn’t matter, you block the air pathway into your lungs. From both your nose and your mouth. It is impossible to breathe or produce any audible sounds because in order for your vocal cords to vibrate air needs flow through them. Since there is an object blocking the pathway no air flows through.

For this reason producing moans while giving a blowjob requires work. You need to coordinate the movement with your voice so when you move the dildo you can breathe and then produce a moan. This makes it unlikely for it to be spontaneous and more of a willful and planned motion. Especially if you are talking about loud moans and good blowjobs.

Now, I do realize it is possible to stick to shallow blowjobs that keep the airflow open, which is what I imagine is the case with blowjob moaners, or combine sucking with stroking and moan while stroking. Still then it requires some work in my opinion, doing sounds like “mmmmm” you can do with your mouth full is definitely more natural than full blown moans.

That said, I understand not everyone is the same and there are people out there who moan legitimately while giving a dildo a blowjob, so I apologize for making such a blanket statement, it was a mistake. I never meant to cast doubt over anyone’s legitimate and genuine show.

All this said I’m gonna also defend OP and say if he has a strong feeling that a model is faking her moans, he could be right.

 

[MarieElise]

Well, I don’t want to get into a pointless argument but in the spirit of correcting misinformation I want to explain the facts behind my reasoning.

When you are giving a blowjob to a real penis or a dildo, doesn’t matter, you block the air pathway into your lungs. From both your nose and your mouth. It is impossible to breathe or produce any audible sounds because in order for your vocal cords to vibrate air needs flow through them. Since there is an object blocking the pathway no air flows through.

For this reason producing moans while giving a blowjob requires work. You need to coordinate the movement with your voice so when you move the dildo you can breathe and then produce a moan. This makes it unlikely for it to be spontaneous and more of a willful and planned motion. Especially if you are talking about loud moans and good blowjobs.

Now, I do realize it is possible to stick to shallow blowjobs that keep the airflow open, which is what I imagine is the case with blowjob moaners, or combine sucking with stroking and moan while stroking. Still then it requires some work in my opinion, doing sounds like “mmmmm” you can do with your mouth full is definitely more natural than full blown moans.

That said, I understand not everyone is the same and there are people out there who moan legitimately while giving a dildo a blowjob, so I apologize for making such a blanket statement, it was a mistake. I never meant to cast doubt over anyone’s legitimate and genuine show.

All this said I’m gonna also defend OP and say if he has a strong feeling that a model is faking her moans, he could be right.

Thank you. This information is very helpful. When you explain it this way, what you were saying makes clearer sense to me. I appreciate you taking the time to elaborate further.

ETA; Basically what you are saying is that giving a real true blow job, would likely be quieter. Not something I need to be aware of when camming, on dildos, but likely something which would improve my personal life, to focus on better Thanks so much, again. Amazon presents, and coffee in bed, here I come

 

[AudriTwo]

Since I hardore deepthroat, a lot, there are certain toys I use where I can still easily breathe and hold down a toy longer. I can still make noises with it down my throat, but its muffled. My airways only close up the whole way if I'm using a thicker toy or a silicone toy. I can still hold a toy all the way down and still make noises.

Everyone gives head differently.

 

[NotYou]

So my plan is to do what was suggested by @cbhours , and maybe ask for it as a roleplay type of thing (we can do something stupid and simple like what models on sites do already: pretend like we have visitors over and so we can't make much noise. Then, if it all goes well, the next time I can say I really loved that show can we do the same...

How does that sound? It just feels a bit dishonest, but I think it's "good" dishonesty (if such a thing exists)... ?

 

[Deleted member 37064]

When I take a model private for the first time, I look at it as having sex with someone for the first time. You kind of have an idea of what you're getting into, but don't know until you actually are with them. It's a bit awkward, and you're learning what each other is like. If we enjoyed it, then I look forward to another time and let her know. If not, I politely brush off any comments of another time in the future.

Before I do a second private with a model, I'll ask her what she likes or doesn't like in a private. Usually this will open the door for her to ask me the same. For this situation, I'd mention a couple of things, and be sure to include something to the effect of soft moans. This way, it's stated that soft moans are a preference. It's a good, non-confrontational way to let your preferences be known without directly saying what you don't like.

TBH, I occasionally have candid conversations about likes/dislikes with the models I go private with. I think this is the best way to ensure that both the model and I know what each other likes. It helps set limitations, certain expectations as well as gives each other an idea of the range of things we can do to please the other without it seeming like a business transaction right before going private. Though, these are models I have known for some time, and we have a good client/model relationship so it's easier to have this kind of discussion with.

On the topic of moaning, I think each model is unique in her way. I've had models who don't at all, while most do some level of soft with heavy breathing. One model I used to do privates with was a screamer at times. It was almost a turnoff the first couple of times. But, I found out that she is like that naturally, and it became a turn on for me.

 

[NotYou]

When I take a model private for the first time, I look at it as having sex with someone for the first time. You kind of have an idea of what you're getting into, but don't know until you actually are with them. It's a bit awkward, and you're learning what each other is like. If we enjoyed it, then I look forward to another time and let her know. If not, I politely brush off any comments of another time in the future.

Before I do a second private with a model, I'll ask her what she likes or doesn't like in a private. Usually this will open the door for her to ask me the same. For this situation, I'd mention a couple of things, and be sure to include something to the effect of soft moans. This way, it's stated that soft moans are a preference. It's a good, non-confrontational way to let your preferences be known without directly saying what you don't like.

TBH, I occasionally have candid conversations about likes/dislikes with the models I go private with. I think this is the best way to ensure that both the model and I know what each other likes. It helps set limitations, certain expectations as well as gives each other an idea of the range of things we can do to please the other without it seeming like a business transaction right before going private. Though, these are models I have known for some time, and we have a good client/model relationship so it's easier to have this kind of discussion with.

On the topic of moaning, I think each model is unique in her way. I've had models who don't at all, while most do some level of soft with heavy breathing. One model I used to do privates with was a screamer at times. It was almost a turnoff the first couple of times. But, I found out that she is like that naturally, and it became a turn on for me.

I must have had "bad" (not exactly bad in a negative sense) experiences in this regarding the "asking what they like or dislike".
Usually (not always) if I ask something like this, they try and answer it in a way they THINK that I want to hear. So they would answer it based on what past customers/fans have asked them, and what they do in private shows and what they don't, etc.

Obviously I never ask "what do you do in private shows?" - I know that one (slightly ... only slightly though hahaha) annoys models. I mean, I do understand 100% that it's easier for us guys to just say "hey do you do X Y and Z in private?" so they can say yes or no. Obviously most times we do have an idea of what we want, so it's easier. I have seen far too many times when guys ask that question.



For the moaning, I love both quiet AND loud ones when they seem to be real. I have no problem with either of them.
I will hopefully take this lady pvt in a day or 2 (unfortunately she comes on at about 11pm my time so it's always a bit tricky), so I will let you all know how it goes (not too much info, just the noise part #perverts)

 

[SaffronBurke]

And "just enjoy yourself" is the silliest phrase I've ever heard from members.

"Just enjoy yourself" is IMO shorthand for "get off while I watch". Why is that not a legitimate request?

In my experience, and I've seen many other models express this, too, "just enjoy yourself" usually means "please masturbate in a very specific way while I tell you that the way you normally get off is wrong and demand that my way is better". There's a few exceptions, but more often than not, they start directing very quickly.

 

[Lizzy_Beth]

In my experience, and I've seen many other models express this, too, "just enjoy yourself" usually means "please masturbate in a very specific way while I tell you that the way you normally get off is wrong and demand that my way is better". There's a few exceptions, but more often than not, they start directing very quickly.

“Just enjoy yourself.”
*begins to do thing I actually enjoy*
”No, wait, not like that.”

 

[cordltx]

I would try a different approach and ask her something for having some dirty talk. Quite hard doing those two things (dirty talk + over the top moaning) at the same time...