Personal stalker found my snapchat. What do I do?

[Bambi Montclair]

Okay, so for YEARS I've had issues with this guy that went to my high school being REALLY creepy and stalking me. I've blocking this guy from every social media possible everytime he pops up. Now, I'm new to camming and trying to keep everything private as possible. I even bought a wig and wear a lot of makeup to try to hide my identity best I can when it comes to camming. I made a snapchat with my camming name so I could sell monthly subscriptions on it. I just made it not long ago and haven't uploaded anything to it yet or advertised it. Somehow THIS GUY that I've been trying to hide from for years somehow finds it and adds me as a friend even though it was made with my Bambi email, with my Bambi name, in my wig. I immediately freaked out and blocked him. At this point maybe I should just get the law involved, I don't know. I just don't know how he found my camming stuff. I just hope he doesn't know it's me. I'm kind of nervous he's going out me or something. Has anything like this happened to anyone else?

 

[Guy]

Okay, so for YEARS I've had issues with this guy that went to my high school being REALLY creepy and stalking me. I've blocking this guy from every social media possible everytime he pops up. Now, I'm new to camming and trying to keep everything private as possible. I even bought a wig and wear a lot of makeup to try to hide my identity best I can when it comes to camming. I made a snapchat with my camming name so I could sell monthly subscriptions on it. I just made it not long ago and haven't uploaded anything to it yet or advertised it. Somehow THIS GUY that I've been trying to hide from for years somehow finds it and adds me as a friend even though it was made with my Bambi email, with my Bambi name, in my wig. I immediately freaked out and blocked him. At this point maybe I should just get the law involved, I don't know. I just don't know how he found my camming stuff. I just hope he doesn't know it's me. I'm kind of nervous he's going out me or something. Has anything like this happened to anyone else?

Has he sent you videos, photos, or messages that you could show to law enforcement?

 

[Bambi Montclair]

Has he sent you videos, photos, or messages that you could show to law enforcement?

Only messages that may have been deleted (some may still be on facebook) of him trying to get me to move 200 miles away from my home to live with him. Him trying to tell me how horrible my life and job was and that going with him was the only way to go and him harassing me for "pictures". Obviously I didn't fall for it and told him to quit texting me and unfriended him - later blocked him from facebook. I don't know if that's enough for anything to be done anyway.

 

[Serenity_Tam]

Sooooo if snap is set so people with your phone number can find you theeeen he won't be the last person from RL to add you.

Make sure that option is not selected.

Or like just get a work phone.

 

[Guy]

Only messages that may have been deleted (some may still be on facebook) of him trying to get me to move 200 miles away from my home to live with him. Him trying to tell me how horrible my life and job was and that going with him was the only way to go and him harassing me for "pictures". Obviously I didn't fall for it and told him to quit texting me and unfriended him - later blocked him from facebook. I don't know if that's enough for anything to be done anyway.

If he sent you messages to your phone and you deleted them you can still retrieve them from the hardrive with software. Also this might be helpful to you: https://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims

 

[Bambi Montclair]

Sooooo if snap is set so people with your phone number can find you theeeen he won't be the last person from RL to add you.

Make sure that option is not selected.

Or like just get a work phone.

Ugh that's what happened. I just unchecked that option. I wish I knew that was a thing. I'm totally new to snapchat as I'm not a fan of the app. I think I've decided not to sell snaps.

 

[Bambi Montclair]

If he sent you messages to your phone and you deleted them you can still retrieve them from the hardrive with software. Also this might be helpful to you: https://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims

I've gotten a new phone since then but kept my number. I still own the phone I had at the time though so this might still work. Thank you for that link btw.

 

[Guy]

I've gotten a new phone since then but kept my number. I still own the phone I had at the time though so this might still work. Thank you for that link btw.

Is your old phone ios or Android?

 

[Bambi Montclair]

Is your old phone ios or Android?

Niether I think? One of those shitty old black and red Samsung flip phones. Like this:

 

[Guy]

Niether I think? One of those shitty old black and red Samsung flip phones. Like this:

Unfortunately, with flip phones there isnt software for retrieving deleted messages. However, the police should still be able to retrive them through forensic analysis.

 

[Guy]

@Bambi Montclair There might be advice that could be helpful to you in the models only section. Heres how you can get access to it:
https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/model-verification-requests.27650/

 

[Ambers Troll]

On the positive side you do know the identity of this creep.

The negative is that if he is sure that it is you, he will try to use what he knows against you. He will also be looking for more on your cam persona. There is definitely a large risk of him outing you under the wrong circumstances. Hopefully he thinks he has only found someone who looks like you, he will want to confirm this before trying to manipulate you with what he knows.
Assuming he is sure, I would not take any communication from them and never ever respond if you get any. The risk being that he may try a 3rd party contact. He will try contact with you 1st, so you will likely get a warning of the threat. Outing you is a revenge tactic, this type would rather use it to gain control over you; never play that game, outing is far more acceptable.

If you act fast you may be able to change cam names, even sites, redirect your favoured members so they can find you, perhaps avoid this guy finding more than the snap link. You could also stop camming but this may not change anything.
Most likely you are too late, once this type knows that you cam he will search for you both directly and using image search. You won't be able to use any image from social media that he has seen if you make that type of switch.
This is how he may have found you, doing a search on the content he has collected on you over the years.

Sorry for the bad news... hopefully you manage to get free of this creep eventually.

 

[lollol69]

Do you girls use your personal phone for your sex work?: We have a work phone and and another phone to keep the worlds apart.

 

[dark_mermaid]

Prepare yourself for being outed as a camgirl. Wish I could say anything different. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

 

[Guy]

Do you girls use your personal phone for your sex work?: We have a work phone and and another phone to keep the worlds apart.

Do you use the work phone for Snapchat?

 

[Booty_4U]

Personally, I would probably change my cam name, email address and phone number.

 

[Issa]

Personally, I would probably change my cam name, email address and phone number.

Agreed, strongly. Given that he (and literally anyone else who had your IRL number in their phones + snapchat) could have that account recommended to them, you need to change shit up asap. Remove your pics and delete the account, period.

If you're serious about using Snapchat to market yourself, buy a cheapo phone with a decent camera and just use it on wifi (no phone number at all). That means you can use Kik safely. Make damned sure your twitter, snapchat, work email, skype (if you sell indy shows), and any other accounts are never accessed on your personal IRL phone because that shit links. Social media is a dumpster fire of linked accounts these days and even the most careful ladies get outed by mistake. I'd also suggest, as a precaution, changing your facebook settings to maximum privacy options, putting up a non-face photo of yourself, removing your last name (maybe even using a nickname for your first), and hiding your friends list/location/education/other info from non-friends. I, personally, do not keep a personal facebook due to concerns about account linking. I know at least two models who posted a XXX gif of themselves to their work twitters via their phones and then got texts from their relatives that facebook had cross-posted it to their personal accounts. Yes, you could actually accidentally flash your grandmother; that's the world we live in now.

Change your cam name, because that dude has it and he's already proven his obsessive tendencies. You're new--you can get away with a complete image revamp with pretty much zero consequences or major concerns. If the guy hasn't figured it out by now that you cam, he will eventually. Hide the evidence. In general, getting outed is a way of life for sex workers. It's not if but when and all that. That doesn't mean you shouldn't care or shouldn't take precautions, however. In fact, I would argue that you need to take far more. Getting found out as a sex worker happens, but you don't need to leave a paper trail of personal info all over the internet for people to further research. I've personally gone to great pains to scrub 99.9% of my existence off of the internet so even if someone finds my real name, they aren't going to get very far. I recommend the same to any other sex worker.

 

[Bambi Montclair]

Well, this is frustrating. Out of all the people to find my stuff why did it have to be the creepiest guy I know. Guess I'll be making everything private while I work on a new name and stuff. Might as well buy I new wig too. Damn I look good blonde though. Thank you everyone. Too bad I can't afford a second phone.

 

[Bambi Montclair]

I can't seem to deactivate my ACF account. Hopefully removing photos is enough.

 

[SoTxBob]

It amazes me that some camgirls only have one phone... Boggles the mind. If nothing else, get one of the prepay cheapies from somewhere... Get a chip from ting mobile if nothing else. Its a pay for what you use and my typical bill runs about $35 a month.... but then again I'm not a young girl that lives on the phone.

 

[MiaFoxUK]

I only have one phone.

But I no longer do snapchat. If I was actively using my phone for work then I would definitely want two.

@justjoinedtopost was there a reason for rating that post full of excellent advice with a face palm?

 

[justjoinedtopost]

@justjoinedtopost was there a reason for rating that post full of excellent advice with a face palm?

Yes.

I know at least two models who posted a XXX gif of themselves to their work twitters via their phones and then got texts from their relatives that facebook had cross-posted it to their personal accounts.

 

[MiaFoxUK]

Ah, it looks like you were saying the post was bad advice, which clearly it isnt

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Ah, it looks like you were saying the post was bad advice, which clearly it isnt

No, good advice. Changed rating to helpful. There. Are you satisfaced?

Make damned sure your twitter, snapchat, work email, skype (if you sell indy shows), and any other accounts are never accessed on your personal IRL phone because that shit links.

Social media is a dumpster fire of linked accounts these days and even the most careful ladies get outed by mistake.

In general, getting outed is a way of life for sex workers. It's not if but when and all that.

I really would like to go back to the internet of say, 1998, and just play some Combat Flight Simulator or something. Shit has become more trouble than it is worth.

 

[Camilami]

Prepare yourself for being outed as a camgirl. Wish I could say anything different. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

How outed? Like, do I need to prepare myself for my mom to know? Cause I think it would break her.

 

[DFT]

If by shit you mean social media, pervasive tracking by Google, Facebook (no account with either? You're still tracked) or the numerous sites ramping up to do the same then I agree.

If you mean flight simulators from 1998 vs the ones today - I agree even stronger.

 

[Ambers Troll]

I can't seem to deactivate my ACF account. Hopefully removing photos is enough.

I am not sure if anyone else noticed... but she did have a mysterious guest shadowing her here. I was worried about that on her initial post.
Was nice to see your respect for her situation AC.

 

[Issa]

Man, I love The Google. It's saved my ass many a time with all it's super helpful features. Doesn't change that its a privacy nightmare though. The perks are many, but they just barely make up for the downsides.

And Facebook, good god. That's a fucking cesspool of garbage. It's funny how much more I communicate with people I care about without it. The place is one giant track-gather-market shitstorm that then has the balls to ask for your address 'so friends can find you.' Bitch, my friends know where I live; it's yours that worry me.

The account linking that freaks me out these days as someone who doesn't use social media for work or play is by IP access. Allowing ISPs to sell your browsing info means no amount of work to keep your lives separate with unique devices matters unless you go to the pains of keeping two separate wifi systems and unplug them when switching between devices. Oh, and your real name would still be registered to the ISP account with your work shit, so nevermind that doesn't help either.

I've given up on preventing tracking by big companies. The strategy now seems to be keeping mine and my immediate family's info off of pay-to-view and free index sites accessible by the general public so when some freak tries to go hunting the entirety of what they find associated with my real name is a news article with the trial times and accuracy scores from my last speed shooting competition, and perhaps the show scores for my protection dog if he and I ever do one. Even that I'm twitchy about though, because it includes location, so....

Eh, fuck it. Dumpster fire. That's the internet. And privacy. The world, really.

 

[Alex_M_21]

This may be very obvious, and you've probably done it, but sometimes the only way to get through to crazy people is by fighting fire by fire. Obviously, if there's no further contact you don't want to wind this guy up, so just ignore him. However, if he does attempt to contact you again, don't get angry or threaten him, it shows fear and can make him want to further his persistence in getting to you. I'd reply with a quick message saying something along the lines of "I find you really creepy, I need you to stop contacting me, I've informed the authorities who've advised me that before I can file a restraining order I need to request you desist all contact, so I'm being good here and giving you a warning. However, I'm quite hapy to go down the official route if that's what you want?" No one likes to be outed as a creep and law enforcement is a strong deterrent for most weirdos.

 

[SaffronBurke]

removing your last name (maybe even using a nickname for your first),

I thought Facebook was forcing people to use their real names now? I tried to change my last name on Facebook a couple years ago, and it wouldn't let me, because it wasn't my real name. The only people I see with not-real names now are ones who registered with those names.