Not sure if this is an 'ask model' topic or not......relationship problems with camgirl

[Rumi_Bloom]

Do we even know if she really wants to keep camming? This thread is mostly dumb assumptions from defensive and insecure armchair psychologists. Status quo. Op most likely ran far away once he realized that many here live in a weird bubble where reality isn't welcome.

Thank you for taking my whole paragraph and removing half a sentence to quote and make your own meaning out of what I said to try to prove a point. I was just trying to be helpful with my own perspective. It's all any of us can do, offer our options, and that's also all your post is. Your opinion on the author's state, as well as your opinion on the site members. Just maybe tone it down a notch? Thanks. Hugs.

 

[a_haze420]

I didn't create the term but it describes the people that play with the ratings and add nothing to the conversation perfectly. lawl? Next level cringe. Way to outdo the crew. Did you have a point or maybe a less painfully dumb and embarrassing counter argument to my statements? I'll pray for all of us.

Yeah cause being a dink to models in this thread is super helpful advice for op. So helpful!

 

[AudriTwo]

I didn't create the term but it describes the people that play with the ratings and add nothing to the conversation perfectly. lawl? Next level cringe. Way to outdo the crew. Did you have a point or maybe a less painfully dumb and embarrassing counter argument to my statements? I'll pray for all of us.

lawl. dumb? just pointing out the truth bb

if i remember correctly, you would cry about getting facepalmed then turn around and do the same like a giant hypocrite until amber got annoyed by your pettiness and removed your ability. the ratings are a feature of the site. if you don't like, maybe go to a new forum. it always seems like you are having an awful time here.

why do you have to be so bitter all the time? who hurt you? do you have any self awareness or is it that ego of yours that prevents you from doing so? because you are a big jerkface for no reason.

people are just giving their own perspectives, op asked for models opinions, and they gave it to them. idk why you have to be so rude. of course we don't know if op's model wants to get out or if she is just telling him. we aren't mind readers.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

It's a weird societal stereotype that drives men to become jealous over this stuff...

I think there is a stereotype that camgirls are shallow tramps, untrustworthy, and completely unworthy of time/attention/respect for sure. I don't think this is driving the jealousy, that is sort of its own little separate monster in my view.

And why is this something you think "drives men"?

Thought experiment: Let's suppose that OP decided that in order to get his jealousy under control, and remind himself this was nothing but business, decided to channel his attentions on camsites to another Colombian model. Nothing personal mind you, just him being a regular, modding, tipping. Just to keep his mind occupied while his betrothed was working.

And let's also suppose that he decided to be open and honest, and inform his would-be spouse of this course of action.

It might lead to fireworks. We might discover a whole new "weird societal stereotype" that drives women over this stuff. Stranger things have happened.

If she wants to quit on her own she'll do it one day, but saying wedding plans are on hold til then? That sounds emotionally abusive and manipulative as fuck...

At least according to OP, this is a mutual decision "we both don't want to marry while she's a camgirl".

You are misrepresenting what OP said on this point. Is this intentional on your part, or the result of a societal stereotype?

 

[Mila_]

saying wedding plans are on hold til then? That sounds emotionally abusive and manipulative as fuck

He should simply tell her that all wedding plans are on hold indefinitely. See if she sticks with him after saying no to her residence visa. It is not wise for any man to commit to marriage while in a LDR especially if it's a short one, and especially if it's to a camgirl he met as a client of hers... his boner might be doing the thinking for him and she could be in to take advantage.

 

[Goblin]

This thread is mostly dumb assumptions from defensive and insecure armchair psychologists. Status quo.

Dude you offered some of the worst advice

"Just suck it up and bury those feelings until she is done."

 

[asia_lynn]

He should simply tell her that all wedding plans are on hold indefinitely. See if she sticks with him after saying no to her residence visa. It is not wise for any man to commit to marriage while in a LDR especially if it's a short one, and especially if it's to a camgirl he met as a client of hers... his boner might be doing the thinking for him and she could be in to take advantage.

Agreed. Unless he left out some vital info, they've only spent 7 days together in person. They shouldn't be getting married anytime soon, you can only get to know someone so well online. Bring her there on a tourist visa, go visit her in Colombia again, meet each other's friends, family etc. People who profess love and the desire to get married prematurely usually have ulterior motives

 

[yummybrownfox]

Rarely do the girls here have good advice for the guys.

Well, that's a load of shit. Since the OP posted this in the Ask-A-Model section, I do believe he was looking to hear more from the...ya know...models about his situation? Would you rather the models here give their honest opinions, or just blow smoke up his ass talking about "Aw, your camgirl girlfriend is lucky to have you, and should totally give up her job for you since you're jealous about her sexy interactions with online dudes that she'll never meet in person."

Naw, just reality. Glad to see the cringe crew show up for some button mashing.

Here's the reality...the people you accuse of "button mashing" (LOL. Haven't heard you say that in a while. You'd been doing a good job of toning it down a bit and being more chill on here, and I was starting to like you more)...they may just choose to sit back and read and rate posts, because they don't wanna get into an endless back-and-forth argument with you (or other posters). Yeah, it kinda sucks to have a post get facepalmed when you don't know why. But that could be why we're seeing ratings from forum members who rarely post.

Also, sometimes a forum post is just so on point (or completely off the mark, warranting a WTF reaction) that there is no need for further comment, because that person summed things up so well.

 

[SMuser69]

Well, that's a load of shit. Since the OP posted this in the Ask-A-Model section, I do believe he was looking to hear more from the...ya know...models about his situation? Would you rather the models here give their honest opinions, or just blow smoke up his ass talking about "Aw, your camgirl girlfriend is lucky to have you, and should totally give up her job for you since you're jealous about her sexy interactions with online dudes that she'll never meet in person."

I think he put a general question in the 'ask models' section. The actual question he asks isn't model specific at all, it's about him personally dealing with HIS jealousy. Model don't gain any special understand of jealousy being models you see it affecting people in almost any job or public situation. Jealousy like any emotion can only be managed not destroyed. At no point is he asking anyone opinion of their relationship just gives a basic explanation of how it's operated till now. He's not asking you to support his relationship choices just explaining enough to frame how his jealousy reached it's current point.

WE DO NOT KNOW the SO perspective on this relationship. We don't even know who put the wedding plans on hold. It could been the SO decision for all we know. We don't know if the SO wishes to be a model or not. I know many models that get married and retire from modeling and it's not because their SO told them to do it. That said, people who are offering marriage advise beyond basic concern are using a lot of assumption and bias to paint the OP as some sort of oppressor of his SO. There's no way to jump to any conclusions that the OP is forcing or compelling his SO at all.

I don't understand why so many of you fixate on the rating emoji? You feel the wrong emoji is a personal attack on your characters. This goes the same for @heybarkeep. They are just icons. If someone want to be petty using them they why do you feel it silences you? If someone just wants to press an emoji and don't feel like contributing to a topic its fine. I personally wish more people would join discussions and add more viewpoints even if they are crazy to others, sometimes crazy can be a catalyst for new solid viewpoints. I understand some people that are afraid to add because they feel like their opinions will be dismissed or will fall out of favor with what clic they think they are part of and that's unfortunate but I also don't relate to the viewpoint fear of a bad emoji is worth hiding somebody individual opinion on a topic.

 

[AudriTwo]

I think he put a general question in the 'ask models' section. The actual question he asks isn't model specific at all, it's about him personally dealing with HIS jealousy. Model don't gain any special understand of jealousy being models you see it affecting people in almost any job or public situation. Jealousy like any emotion can only be managed not destroyed. At no point is he asking anyone opinion of their relationship just gives a basic explanation of how it's operated till now. He's not asking you to support his relationship choices just explaining enough to frame how his jealousy reached it's current point.

WE DO NOT KNOW the SO perspective on this relationship. We don't even know who put the wedding plans on hold. It could been the SO decision for all we know. We don't know if the SO wishes to be a model or not. I know many models that get married and retire from modeling and it's not because their SO told them to do it. That said, people who are offering marriage advise beyond basic concern are using a lot of assumption and bias to paint the OP as some sort of oppressor of his SO. There's no way to jump to any conclusions that the OP is forcing or compelling his SO at all.

I don't understand why so many of you fixate on the rating emoji? You feel the wrong emoji is a personal attack on your characters. This goes the same for @heybarkeep. They are just icons. If someone want to be petty using them they why do you feel it silences you? If someone just wants to press an emoji and don't feel like contributing to a topic its fine. I personally wish more people would join discussions and add more viewpoints even if they are crazy to others, sometimes crazy can be a catalyst for new solid viewpoints. I understand some people that are afraid to add because they feel like their opinions will be dismissed or will fall out of favor with what clic they think they are part of and that's unfortunate but I also don't relate to the viewpoint fear of a bad emoji is worth hiding somebody individual opinion on a topic.

I agree with everything up until the point of oppressor. op just has some obvious insecurities towards his so's job. And obviously no one here can fix that. Simply, that is all on him. But usually not good going into relationships insecure, not a good way to get into a committed legal relationship. Divorces aren't cheap, and since this is an international marriage, which makes everything a lot more complicated. To help with his insecurities he needs to remind himself it's just a job, and if he can't trust her, that's on him. Has she done anything to show him why she shouldn't?

I do hope OP did find the love of his life, and it works out great. Transitioning from Columbia to Canada is gonna be a hard one. But it wouldn't be ignorant to think she's in it for the green card, I just hope that's not this situation. We all know some of these guys are viewing these relationships they've developed with models with rose tinted glasses.

Honestly OP should speak to a counselor or life coach. Not asking random people on the internet for advice for his big life decisions. Maybe a couple's counselor. The internet can make it easier for them to talk to a professional together, and not in the same room.

Idk my skeptical glasses are pretty thick, and it just seems silly to jump into marriage with only seeing each other for a week. You don't really know how well you are going to cohabitate together. It seems more reasonable to get a two month long tourist visa to see.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I think he put a general question in the 'ask models' section. The actual question he asks isn't model specific at all, it's about him personally dealing with HIS jealousy. Model don't gain any special understand of jealousy being models you see it affecting people in almost any job or public situation. Jealousy like any emotion can only be managed not destroyed. At no point is he asking anyone opinion of their relationship just gives a basic explanation of how it's operated till now. He's not asking you to support his relationship choices just explaining enough to frame how his jealousy reached it's current point.

WE DO NOT KNOW the SO perspective on this relationship. We don't even know who put the wedding plans on hold. It could been the SO decision for all we know. We don't know if the SO wishes to be a model or not. I know many models that get married and retire from modeling and it's not because their SO told them to do it. That said, people who are offering marriage advise beyond basic concern are using a lot of assumption and bias to paint the OP as some sort of oppressor of his SO. There's no way to jump to any conclusions that the OP is forcing or compelling his SO at all.

I don't understand why so many of you fixate on the rating emoji? You feel the wrong emoji is a personal attack on your characters. This goes the same for @heybarkeep. They are just icons. If someone want to be petty using them they why do you feel it silences you? If someone just wants to press an emoji and don't feel like contributing to a topic its fine. I personally wish more people would join discussions and add more viewpoints even if they are crazy to others, sometimes crazy can be a catalyst for new solid viewpoints. I understand some people that are afraid to add because they feel like their opinions will be dismissed or will fall out of favor with what clic they think they are part of and that's unfortunate but I also don't relate to the viewpoint fear of a bad emoji is worth hiding somebody individual opinion on a topic.

The OP literally said in his original post that he's "looking for some helpful advice," and he received that from many people on here. You don't agree? I think you took my "This is the Ask-A-Model section" remark a bit too personally, when I was in fact reminding heybarkeep (who claims that models rarely give good advice on here) that the OP especially is looking to hear from the models. Well, he's gotten many responses from models, and some have even told him that he should speak to someone about his insecurities. I believe I also asked him if his girlfriend actually wants to stop camming or not. Don't think I ever got an answer to my question (unless I missed it somewhere), but that's okay.

And I'm gonna assume that part of your post (about the emojis/ratings) isn't supposed to directed at me since I'm not the one on here throwing a hissyfit about "button-mashing." Which, by the way, I feel I gave a pretty good explanation of why I think some prefer reading/rating and not posting. Can't really force someone to join the discussion if they don't want to.

 

[Rumi_Bloom]

I apologize for anything and everything I have said in this topic... That's all... I'm no longer going to make personal opinion posts. Thank you for your time. I will only make posts about technical aspects of camming and my personal experience on it, so as not to hurt others or myself by misconstruing information on topics close to the heart. I'm no expert or therapist after all. I don't want to accidentally upset anyone or wake up to see messages calling me out for something I only said trying to help..Love you all. This is my very first forum so guess I learned something valuable.

 

[heybarkeep]

Just maybe tone it down a notch?

No promises but I'll try.

Yeah cause being a dink to models in this thread is super helpful advice for op. So helpful!

Truth hurts I guess. Sorry for being a dink.

lawl. dumb? just pointing out the truth bb

if i remember correctly, you would cry about getting facepalmed then turn around and do the same like a giant hypocrite until amber got annoyed by your pettiness and removed your ability. the ratings are a feature of the site. if you don't like, maybe go to a new forum. it always seems like you are having an awful time here.

why do you have to be so bitter all the time? who hurt you? do you have any self awareness or is it that ego of yours that prevents you from doing so? because you are a big jerkface for no reason.

people are just giving their own perspectives, op asked for models opinions, and they gave it to them. idk why you have to be so rude. of course we don't know if op's model wants to get out or if she is just telling him. we aren't mind readers.

You unsurprisingly remember incorrectly. Not completely accurate. You of all people talking about a lack of self awareness is the chuckle I needed to start the day. Thanks for that. I'm a-ok with being seen as a big jerkface if progress and improvement is the end result. A small sacrifice to make.

Dude you offered some of the worst advice

"Just suck it up and bury those feelings until she is done."

Yeah, I even said myself that it was probably bad advice.

Well, that's a load of shit. Since the OP posted this in the Ask-A-Model section, I do believe he was looking to hear more from the...ya know...models about his situation? Would you rather the models here give their honest opinions, or just blow smoke up his ass talking about "Aw, your camgirl girlfriend is lucky to have you, and should totally give up her job for you since you're jealous about her sexy interactions with online dudes that she'll never meet in person."




Here's the reality...the people you accuse of "button mashing" (LOL. Haven't heard you say that in a while. You'd been doing a good job of toning it down a bit and being more chill on here, and I was starting to like you more)...they may just choose to sit back and read and rate posts, because they don't wanna get into an endless back-and-forth argument with you (or other posters). Yeah, it kinda sucks to have a post get facepalmed when you don't know why. But that could be why we're seeing ratings from forum members who rarely post.

Also, sometimes a forum post is just so on point (or completely off the mark, warranting a WTF reaction) that there is no need for further comment, because that person summed things up so well.

A load of reality is what it was. Not all too worried about whether I'm liked or not. Not worth being liked if it requires one to be a sycophant. I don't really care about post ratings, just find them fucking hilarious. I will agree that it is kinda annoying when people don't explain their reasons for doing so.

 

[Gen]

I apologize for anything and everything I have said in this topic... That's all... I'm no longer going to make personal opinion posts. Thank you for your time. I will only make posts about technical aspects of camming and my personal experience on it, so as not to hurt others or myself by misconstruing information on topics close to the heart. I'm no expert or therapist after all. I don't want to accidentally upset anyone or wake up to see messages calling me out for something I only said trying to help..Love you all. This is my very first forum so guess I learned something valuable.

It’s not that deep, people bicker and disagree on here sometimes, and over time you’ll recognize who is antagonistic (will constantly question or belabour menial points to get you going, will interrogate others or be dismissive but never really add much of their own substance) vs who engages in good faith, even if they’re disagreeing. Some people are worth getting into a discussion with and some aren’t. This is true of this forum but also everywhere else. I hope you’ll stick around and keep sharing your thoughts.

There are also a lot of models who stick only to the Models Only section because it’s a lot chiller in there, even in disagreements. Even the most sensitive of us are pretty good at letting things go and seeing people as more than just one opinion.

 

[Dan Epstein]

I am not good at letting go. I just suck it in, and raid the fridge, like normal people do

 

[CharlieCharma]

I quit stripping for an ex one time. He offered to pay all my bills and buy me nice things if I did. He did. So I didn't strip the entire time we were together. Are you willing to support her to the same standards as she had while camming if she quits? If you'd like to be less jealous while she continues to cam, stop going in her room and maybe see a therapist about why you feel jealous when you met her that way.

As for the derailment of this thread by Mr. Persecution Complex, I'm not surprised. Take a fucking Xanax and chill the fuck out. You're more strung up about nothing than a fucking chihuahua on crack.

 

[heybarkeep]

As for the derailment of this thread by Mr. Persecution Complex, I'm not surprised. Take a fucking Xanax and chill the fuck out. You're more strung up about nothing than a fucking chihuahua on crack.

I really want to make fun of you for not understanding what a persecution complex is. Or point out the unbelievably comedic hypocrisy in the statement. I will refrain from doing so and instead suggest that a god complex is a much more accurate label. Don't mind friendly banter or jabs, just a stickler for accuracy. Sorry for derailing a super important thread with a bit of reality. Your bubble is safe.

Never liked Xanax to be honest.

 

[AudriTwo]

You unsurprisingly remember incorrectly. Not completely accurate. You of all people talking about a lack of self awareness is the chuckle I needed to start the day. Thanks for that. I'm a-ok with being seen as a big jerkface if progress and improvement is the end result. A small sacrifice to make.

No you threw a hissy fit about getting facepalmed or chill pill. Multiple times. It's okay if you are delusional and remember incorrectly. Also real sad that you are okay with being a jerk. Why wouldn't you want to grow to be a kinder more patient person? That's really sad.

How do I lack self awareness? I usually try to learn and grow from my mistakes and ill behavior. I can admit I can be high strung and hypocritical at times. Also no problem with being wrong. I will admit I'm not perfect, or expect others to think I am.

I guess the difference between me and you, is I'm not a little fucking cunt with supiority complex to everyone I disagree with.

Hope you really look at your behavior and get some help. The way you act here doesn't seem like it's easy to be friends with you, and I hope you dont treat people irl the same.

Like I said praying for you. Hope you learn kindness

 

[asia_lynn]

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day I hate to see you fighting with each other

 

[paige_orion]

It’s not that deep, people bicker and disagree on here sometimes, and over time you’ll recognize who is antagonistic (will constantly question or belabour menial points to get you going, will interrogate others or be dismissive but never really add much of their own substance) vs who engages in good faith, even if they’re disagreeing. Some people are worth getting into a discussion with and some aren’t. This is true of this forum but also everywhere else. I hope you’ll stick around and keep sharing your thoughts.

There are also a lot of models who stick only to the Models Only section because it’s a lot chiller in there, even in disagreements. Even the most sensitive of us are pretty good at letting things go and seeing people as more than just one opinion.

@Rumi_Bloom, I wanted to emphasize what Gen said. Please don't let the experience of one thread deter you from posting your thoughts and opinions. That is what makes this forum such a lovely place - getting to hear from so many different people. I highly recommend using the Ignore feature on anyone who might detract from your experience - you don't have to experience negative posts if you don't want to, y'know?

And Gen is right about the Model's Only part. There are a lot of models who don't enjoy posting in the public sections anymore - but that only serves to make Model's Only a much funner, more welcoming place. Even when people disagree there, it is usually super respectful - none of that name-calling or button-pushing. We don't always agree, but we enjoy hearing different opinions and different experiences and different views of the world.

So even if you stop posting in the public sections, please don't hesitate to share your real thoughts and feelings in our chill corner of the forum. We'll appreciate all of the thoughts you have to share!

 

[heybarkeep]

No you threw a hissy fit about getting facepalmed or chill pill. Multiple times. It's okay if you are delusional and remember incorrectly. Also real sad that you are okay with being a jerk. Why wouldn't you want to grow to be a kinder more patient person? That's really sad.

I was making a point by acting and using the ratings the exact same way the girls here did. Lost on you obviously but it was pretty funny. I'm fine with being seen as a jerk by people like you because I don't see you as a respectable person. I want people like you to not like me. You want to know what else is sad? A person your age using lawl. We all have to grow up at some point.

How do I lack self awareness?

You would behave much differently if you had any. You have gotten better I guess. Couldn't get much worse.

I guess the difference between me and you, is I'm not a little fucking cunt with supiority complex to everyone I disagree with.

Whatever makes you feel better. Superiority by the way. No issues with people disagreeing. Unlike you I like variety. I've noticed a change over time too. Small improvements. Noobs can have a different opinion and even disagree without you and the crew getting all dumb and emotional for not agreeing with your insecure stupidity.

I guess the difference between me and you, you talk a good one but you don't do what your supposed to do. I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions. What's the difference between me and you? About five bank accounts, three ounces and two vehicles. Kidding, thems just rap lyrics yall.

Hope you really look at your behavior and get some help. The way you act here doesn't seem like it's easy to be friends with you, and I hope you dont treat people irl the same.

I won't because again, it is almost impossible to really respect you. So what you say and think doesn't matter to me. Don't need help either, life is good.

Like I said praying for you. Hope you learn kindness

I'll pray for you to hopefully be less fragile. I've given up the thought of you becoming capable of kindness. Learning in general is too much to expect from some.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I don't understand why so many of you fixate on the rating emoji? You feel the wrong emoji is a personal attack on your characters. This goes the same for @heybarkeep. They are just icons. If someone want to be petty using them they why do you feel it silences you? If someone just wants to press an emoji and don't feel like contributing to a topic its fine. I personally wish more people would join discussions and add more viewpoints even if they are crazy to others, sometimes crazy can be a catalyst for new solid viewpoints. I understand some people that are afraid to add because they feel like their opinions will be dismissed or will fall out of favor with what clic they think they are part of and that's unfortunate but I also don't relate to the viewpoint fear of a bad emoji is worth hiding somebody individual opinion on a topic.

Though perhaps crudely expressed, I think I understand where @heybarkeep is coming from was coming from initially.

Maybe post ratings encourage group think and echo chambers. Maybe they just highlight the existence of them. Not just on this forum either, seems like it's all over the place now. Amplified by the media and the internet, so maybe it's just more noticeable.

Spoiler: eyesaver

Consider this post that had the highest number of "agree" ratings at the time of this writing...

Let go of the notion that your woman's body belongs to you in some way and that should help you deal with it.

Sorry to be blunt but that's the root of it. She's sharing something you believe belongs to you. Unless you are just scared she's going to fall for someone else the way she fell for you in which case you can just easily set boundaries like "no outside contact"

What Ember said is possible, but it does sound a little presumptuous to sound so certain that "ownership of body" is definitely the root of this, even with the "unless" disclaimer she included.

One of the most intense experiences I had with jealousy was right around age 19; it was really juvenile and stupid, but it is useful as an example I suppose.

My girlfriend's dad had bought her a car. He made it clear to both of us she was the only one who had permission to drive it. So for a few months, whenever we took her car somewhere, I didn't try to get her to let me drive and she didn't offer. This arrangement did not bother me. My car I drove, her car she drove.

So we went on a double date one night, she was driving while the other couple made out in the back seat. We stopped at a gas station, and when we came out she handed her keys to my buddy and told him to drive. This was because she wanted to be in the back seat making out. Not sure if that is because she had the notion that my body belonged to her, or her body belonged to me, or what.

Sadly, there was no making out. When she tried, I pushed her away. I got jealous, I got mad, I fumed, I sulked, when we got out of the car I was fighting back the urge to punch things, the other three took turns trying to "make it better" and wound up getting remarks like "why don't you go to hell/fuck off" for their troubles. Pretty much turned out to be a ruined evening.

She had been in a play the year before, and her part called for her to hug a guy; I didn't let on, but it made me pretty jealous. Letting my buddy drive her car caused the exact same feeling, only much worse (even though there was no physical contact with another guy). It wasn't because I wanted control of her automobile or her body; it was because she crossed a boundary for him that she didn't cross for me. She showed him favor she had not shown me, and that was reason enough to cause my inner alpha chimp to take the reins from me to try and get us back to our proper place in the hierarchy. So dumb.

Hormone driven teenagers on a double date aren't the same thing as adults on interacting on a camsite (hopefully), but aside from indulging in a stroll down memory lane, I guess I am trying to make the point that jealousy is not always rooted in "owning a female's body". Perhaps this is sometimes true even in situations like camming, where she is using her body to make money. Re-reading OP's post, doesn't it at least seem possible that emotional intimacy is what he seeking to keep for himself?

I have noticed in relationships that I was in, at least during the early stages, sex and emotions were inseparable once "love" switched on. I would totally lose interest in other women, be hyper-attentive to where her attentions were directed, hyper-vigilant about trying to keep her happy, that sort of thing. All emotions were much more amplified during this stage, including jealousy. All of this would die down as relationships progressed. Much more intense when I was younger too.

Honestly, this might be the type of thing that sorts itself out on its own. A camgirl I know quit because her SO "uprooted her from her life" and "demanded she give up her source of income". Some time went by, he is ok with it now (but draws the line at the outside contact Ember mentioned).

I wonder how old OP is. And also how long he has been involved with the model. And how many relationships he has been in.

...and if he can't trust her, that's on him. Has she done anything to show him why she shouldn't?

I'm not disagreeing here, but doubling down on the skepticism you mentioned after this part I quoted.

Has she done anything to show him why he SHOULD trust her? Or has he fallen in love, and now feels compelled by some chivalrous notion that he is obligated to trust her?

I see the expression "boner doing the thinking for him" has popped up in the thread already; "blinded by love" is another good one. It is not just when guys are looking to get laid that they can get stupid.

Never mind that she is a camgirl, or that she is Colombian. There are shitty shitty people all over the place, both male and female alike; and some of them are good enough at hiding it that you might live with them for a long time before finding out.

OP if you are reading this, please come back and respond before the internet self-destructs trying to sort your mess out. TIA.

I am not good at letting go. I just suck it in, and raid the fridge, like normal people do

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day I hate to see you fighting with each other

Honest to God, I don't think either one of these posters meant it that way, but that little smiley is the most irksome passive-aggressive thing I have ever seen in my life. Wish the hell it would get declared hate speech already.

 

[heybarkeep]

Though perhaps crudely expressed, I think I understand where @heybarkeep is coming from was coming from initially.

Too many studies showing how bad they are for discussion. The few positives can't compare to the many negative results they have on communities. Look at the most agreed post in this thread. More sad than funny, but still pretty funny.

eta nevermind, you already noticed. Should have clicked the spoiler before posting.

 

[BufordT]

@justjoinedtopost Interesting you mention the and how you interpret it. I agree with that, but as you pointed out it varies with the intention. It is also kind of an analogy for this whole post. A lot of people are projecting their own interpretations onto the discussion. That echo box is bound to happen without the OP's feedback. The best people can do is say "if this is what you mean, then this is what I think". The worst they can do is assume they know the complete story.

 

[BufordT]

@Rumi_Bloom I thought your posts were great. I agree with others that you shouldn't let a few argumentative people stop you. You kept an open mind and had great input. I'll enjoy reading anything else you have to post (oh, that is not the passive aggressive btw!)

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Too many studies showing how bad they are for discussion. The few positives can't compare to the many negative results they have on communities. Look at the most agreed post in this thread. More sad than funny, but still pretty funny.

eta nevermind, you already noticed. Should have clicked the spoiler before posting.

Yeah, I been keeping up with it. Especially worrisome some of the stuff I read about China incorporating such things in their social credit system. Leaving behind "bad for discussion" and moving into "social conditioning" then though.

I didn't know how many likes who had until I wrote that post and went back and looked. I take a little more introspective interest in it, meaning how a rating makes me feel. For the most part it doesn't, but depending on the person giving it, I sometimes get a noticeable little emotional reaction. The other day I had a rather well known largely-reviled person like and respond in agreement to a post I made (not here); it gave me about half a second of mild disgust, followed by a couple of minutes of reconsidering what I had said that was worthy of his approval.

@justjoinedtopost Interesting you mention the and how you interpret it. I agree with that, but as you pointed out it varies with the intention.

I think I would feel the same about that smiley anywhere I saw it.

 

[heybarkeep]

@Rumi_Bloom I thought your posts were great. I agree with others that you shouldn't let a few argumentative people stop you. You kept an open mind and had great input. I'll enjoy reading anything else you have to post (oh, that is not the passive aggressive btw!)

Yeah, seriously, please don't take anything I said as an attack against you. I used your post simply to point out all the assumptions being made. Wasn't in any way personal. You seem logical, open minded and likable. Would legit feel bad if I in any way prevented you from posting.

The other day I had a rather well known largely-reviled person like and respond in agreement to a post I made (not here); it gave me about half a second of mild disgust, followed by a couple of minutes of reconsidering what I had said that was worthy of his approval.

Hard to not wonder if you are on the wrong side when this happens. Like huh, maybe I'm the bad guy. Almost want to change opinions when certain people agree with you.

 

[Tartan]

What an interesting thread...........I haven't read any of it but that's only because I am that level of lazy

OP if you want my advice get married in a vineyard and have the tip noise of CB if there is one go off every 30 seconds and she might actually turn up

 

[Emberblaze]

Good to see my post was the most agreed with because I still stand by it.

Now I haven't had caffeine yet and let's all pray I can make some sense here.

People (not just men) often feel a sense of ownership over their partner. We feel entitled to them in a strange way and feel we are entitled to make decisions for them or decide what they should or are allowed to do. Some people can shake these feelings but it's tough because society has ingrained it in us.

"This person is my person and therefore there are things they should do for me and only me."

Hell, maybe the Op's feelings come from the fact that there's distance and since he's not getting physical attention from her. Maybe he feels all this jealousy because others are getting the same thing he gets and maybe he'd get over it if they were fucking regularly. But it all goes back to the same thing of "this is my person and therefore there are things they should do for me and only me."

And some of you say he hasn't given enough info to know if that's the case but what else is there?

Jealous she makes more money than him? "That's MY woman and I should be providing for her." -same thing. Ownership.
Jealous she's giving attention to other men? "That's MY woman and here she is giving all these other men attention." Same thing, there's that ownership.
Jealous others are seeing her naked and do sexual acts? "That's MY woman and this is stuff only I should be seeing." And again...
Jealous that... *Looks above and coughs* she let another dude drive her car. "That's MY woman and she shouldn't be letting another man do things I can't." And again. Same root problem.


And all my examples include the woman as the object but it can go both ways in any relationship with any genders. I'm fiercely protective over my man and while I usually think it's cute he's a giant flirt with every woman he meets a part of me screams "MINE." when I see it or he tells me about it and I have to work to remind myself he's not "Mine" he's his own flirty person.

 

[Gen]

Good to see my post was the most agreed with because I still stand by it.

Now I haven't had caffeine yet and let's all pray I can make some sense here.

People (not just men) often feel a sense of ownership over their partner. We feel entitled to them in a strange way and feel we are entitled to make decisions for them or decide what they should or are allowed to do. Some people can shake these feelings but it's tough because society has ingrained it in us.

"This person is my person and therefore there are things they should do for me and only me."

Hell, maybe the Op's feelings come from the fact that there's distance and since he's not getting physical attention from her. Maybe he feels all this jealousy because others are getting the same thing he gets and maybe he'd get over it if they were fucking regularly. But it all goes back to the same thing of "this is my person and therefore there are things they should do for me and only me."

And some of you say he hasn't given enough info to know if that's the case but what else is there?

Jealous she makes more money than him? "That's MY woman and I should be providing for her." -same thing. Ownership.
Jealous she's giving attention to other men? "That's MY woman and here she is giving all these other men attention." Same thing, there's that ownership.
Jealous others are seeing her naked and do sexual acts? "That's MY woman and this is stuff only I should be seeing." And again...
Jealous that... *Looks above and coughs* she let another dude drive her car. "That's MY woman and she shouldn't be letting another man do things I can't." And again. Same root problem.


And all my examples include the woman as the object but it can go both ways in any relationship with any genders. I'm fiercely protective over my man and while I usually think it's cute he's a giant flirt with every woman he meets a part of me screams "MINE." when I see it or he tells me about it and I have to work to remind myself he's not "Mine" he's his own flirty person.

I appreciate this perspective. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with limiting certain things to being between just two people, but I do think that it’s important to consider how reasonable our limits are, especially with something as impactful as asking someone to quit their job. Both people better be on the same page in terms of what they want and agreeing, genuinely, that’s it’s reasonable. No bringing it up in a year when you’re fighting or whatever. I quit camming for a boyfriend whom I eventually dumped but there was no bitterness over quitting for him because I agreed it was a good move and I was genuinely okay with it. There doesn’t have to be resentment or guilt if you’re both in agreement.

I think relationships thrive on shared values, also, so if one person values monogamy and considers camming a violation of that, they’re best matched with someone who agrees, rather than trying to date someone who finds that stifling. (Not saying OP’s lady does, just thinking generally.) Tangent but I’m very traditional in my relationship values and it’s weird how often people will try to argue with me about how monogamy is a trap and blah blah blah. Just go find your people and stop trying to convince women to ~liberate themselves~ by hopping in bed with you, lol.