Need some help with my relationship

[LittleRooster]

Do you watch her on cam---on whatever site or sites she works on?

Have you ever given tipped her/taken her prvt/ bought a show/ bought a gift?

You said you met on twitter, but did not make mention that she was a camgirl on twitter. Was it a personal twitter account? Did she never link a profile, promotion etc.

How long ave you been talking with her?

You said she, for a while, stopped cum shows and prvts. So I assuming (correct me if I am wrong) that she works on a site like MFC or CB. With that said...if there is a single source giving her 50k in 1 year (also assuming that is before the sites cut). And she makes 3k a month...that's pretty much her entire paycheck. Yeah...I don't know where I was going with that..but it did cross my mind.

You don't think you are in the wrong by being jealous?...Ok...

I personally don't think you can just wake up and change your feelings/jealousy --- but this is clearly a major problem if not THE major problem.

So if you think your jealousy is fine..and not wrong then....

yeah.

Okay, i have seen her work once, after she told me what she did, i was curious and i visited her for about 10 minutes. She was not doing anything explicit and i decided that it would be better if i didn't go back, and i haven't. So no i have never tipped her, etc. I saw her because she replied to someone i follow, a celebrity or something on Twitter.

She has a twitter account where she does not promote herself, mainly to keep in touch with family and friends. And she has an alternative account under her cam name, although she never uses it. Of course at the time i didn't know of the other account. We started talking in March and said we was in a 'relationship' in late April-early May.

I never said i was not in the wrong for being jealous, i mean that she understands why i am jealous and she expects me to be. But i am obviously over jealous and i have to admit that i am feeling a little better after coming on this site and hearing another perspective.

And yes, she has stopped doing cum shows completely, although she has just started going private and the occasional group, but she assures me that she does not cum in private or group, sometimes she doesn't even get naked, which i believe.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

So many holes in this bullshit story it ain't even funny. It is funny seeing models trying to convince themselves that a guy not wanting to be with a sex worker makes him insecure or jealous.

 

[LittleRooster]

what holes exactly? i have told everything, if you have any more questions, i will answer them.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Page one you mention getting free shows from her. Page 2 you say you've only seen her work once. Don't feel like pointing out the rest of the bullshit.

 

[Evvie]

what holes exactly? i have told everything, if you have any more questions, i will answer them.

Rooster, I apologize if I did not see your answer earlier.

Why exactly do you want to overcome all these issues and get back together with her?

A beautiful Romanian woman is hard to be with if you're the jealous type (and folks are correct - you are the jealous type, it has nothing to do with camming). What life goals and dreams have you built with her that are so difficult to let go?

 

[ScarletVixen]

So many holes in this bullshit story it ain't even funny. It is funny seeing models trying to convince themselves that a guy not wanting to be with a sex worker makes him insecure or jealous.

He admitted himself that he is jealous, he's said it over and over and says it's his main issue. The main advice here is that if he's going to be jealous, a camgirl as a girlfriend is probably not in the best interest of either of them. It takes a special kind of guy to be OK with dating or marrying a sex worker, and not every guy is cut out for it (since it can easily cause jealousy and many other problems in the relationship as a whole) just like not every girl would be cut out for or would even want to be a cam-model. It's not for everyone in a big way.

I know this is a crappy analogy, but it's kind of like saying "I hate heights, so I'm gonna go climb mountains every day", it doesn't really make sense to put yourself through it if it's not something you're OK with.

 

[ScarletVixen]

Page one you mention getting free shows from her. Page 2 you say you've only seen her work once. Don't feel like pointing out the rest of the bullshit.

I think he means free skype shows or something similar, because they considered themselves a couple and were sexual with each other on webcam. He didn't say free shows on the site she works on, just free 'shows' in the sense that she does the same thing she does for her job (plus only cumming with him from what I gather) and doesn't charge him for it like a client.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

He admitted himself that he is jealous, he's said it over and over and says it's his main issue. The main advice here is that if he's going to be jealous, a camgirl as a girlfriend is probably not in the best interest of either of them. It takes a special kind of guy to be OK with dating or marrying a sex worker, and not every guy is cut out for it (since it can easily cause jealousy and many other problems in the relationship as a whole) just like not every girl would be cut out for or would even want to be a cam-model. It's not for everyone in a big way.

I know this is a crappy analogy, but it's kind of like saying "I hate heights, so I'm gonna go climb mountains every day", it doesn't really make sense to put yourself through it if it's not something you're OK with.

I get what you're saying but it's still funny to see models try to convince themselves that jealousy or insecurity is the main reason why a guy wouldn't want to date a sex worker. Clearly a issue for this guy but insecurity and jealousy aren't the main reasons why most guys would be hesitant about dating one.

 

[ComicOzzie]

As a highly jealous dude, you probably would be more happy with a woman who does NOT take her clothes off on cam. :twocents-02cents:

 

[Anonymous]

what holes exactly?

All of her holes, bb! :mrgreen:

Forgive me...I just felt like adding a little humor to this sad thread.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

I think he means free skype shows or something similar, because they considered themselves a couple and were sexual with each other on webcam. He didn't say free shows on the site she works on, just free 'shows' in the sense that she does the same thing she does for her job (plus only cumming with him from what I gather) and doesn't charge him for it like a client.

Maybe but he also said he was giving her orders at work. I could easily be wrong and this "relationship" could be totally legit.

 

[LittleRooster]

Page one you mention getting free shows from her. Page 2 you say you've only seen her work once. Don't feel like pointing out the rest of the bullshit.

I think he means free skype shows or something similar, because they considered themselves a couple and were sexual with each other on webcam. He didn't say free shows on the site she works on, just free 'shows' in the sense that she does the same thing she does for her job (plus only cumming with him from what I gather) and doesn't charge him for it like a client.

Yes you are right, sorry i didn't make it clearer. We skype everyday and sometimes she would take time out from work so we could talk (if either of us was busy for the rest of the day and we could only talk during her working hours for example). And we began having sex over the webcam, not on the site that she works. At first we was both hesitant about it because she did not want me to be like the other guys that see her masturbate, but one day we tried it and she said it was a feeling she had never had when masturbating and it made her feel good, instead of dirty like when she does cum shows at work. I did not ask her to stop doing cum shows, although i have since told her that i'm very happy that she doesn't do them. That is my biggest problem, her cumming without me, and for paying customers. She told me that she felt sick every time she did a cum show and then coming on skype and talking to me like nothing had happened, so she stopped doing it for herself and for me.

 

[LittleRooster]

I think he means free skype shows or something similar, because they considered themselves a couple and were sexual with each other on webcam. He didn't say free shows on the site she works on, just free 'shows' in the sense that she does the same thing she does for her job (plus only cumming with him from what I gather) and doesn't charge him for it like a client.

Maybe but he also said he was giving her orders at work. I could easily be wrong and this "relationship" could be totally legit.

When i say giving orders, it was more me asking her not to do certain things, like show her ass and pussy to the cam (yes, i know now that this is the job, at the time i was just thinking of myself, although i still don't like it!) So it was not so much me giving her orders, just me complaining about her job.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

And we began having sex over the webcam

I was wrong about this story not being funny.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Has she ever asked you to send her money for anything?

 

[God]

this is sounding more and more like a scam everytime you post. why don't you ask her these questions?

 

[LittleRooster]

Has she ever asked you to send her money for anything?

No. She has never ask me for money. Our birthdays are one day apart and i bought her a dress and some earrings for her birthday. And she bought me some t-shirts and a watch for mine. That is the only time money has exchanged between us.

 

[LittleRooster]

this is sounding more and more like a scam everytime you post. why don't you ask her these questions?

i don't understand why you would think that. Maybe i'm being naive but she knows about my finances i'm not anywhere near rich and i do not visit her at work, i have nothing to offer her financially and she knows it, therefore i do not believe that i am being scammed. Could you please elaborate and tell me why you think that?

 

[LaceyRoyce]

@_@

this whole situation is fucked up.
Rooster, I just do not think you are camgirl boyfriend material.

AND no - to whoever said that camgirls are calling him bad things because he's not the type to date a camgirl! its not that he's not good camgirl boyfriend material that makes him manipulative and controlling, its because he's a manipulative and controlling person (by his own descriptions).

It takes an amazing level of maturity and sense of self to be able to date a sex worker.
It takes an amazing level of maturity, sense of self to be able to pull of long distance relationships.
Rooster you aren't even CLOSE to it.

And the way you're treating this girl, even if she wasnt a camgirl, would NOT be ok in ANY relationship... NOT healthy. PERIOD.

 

[mynameisbob84]

To be fair, it could be completely legit. I'd just be wary. Looking at things objectively, you have a beautiful Romanian cam model you've met online. After only a month of knowing one another, she's committed herself to a relationship with you, despite having never met you, and despite (I'm assuming) having no trouble finding someone in Romania who she can see, and touch, and be touched by. Furthermore, despite not knowing you for long and despite having never met you, she's sacrificed income by drastically limiting herself in her job to only do the things you say you're comfortable with. Despite sacrificing income for you at a time when she's said she most needs it, she's not angry with you, but rather she's told you everything that you wanted to hear as far as her camming career goes (cumming for members makes her sick; cumming for you makes her feel special; she doesn't want to do anything you don't want her to do). From an outsider's perspective, it all just sounds too good to be true, ya know?

Even though she's now broken up with you, I'd be cautious and try to take a step back and assess things if I were you :twocents-02cents:

 

[LittleRooster]

@_@

this whole situation is fucked up.
Rooster, I just do not think you are camgirl boyfriend material.

AND no - to whoever said that camgirls are calling him bad things because he's not the type to date a camgirl! its not that he's not good camgirl boyfriend material that makes him manipulative and controlling, its because he's a manipulative and controlling person (by his own descriptions).

It takes an amazing level of maturity and sense of self to be able to date a sex worker.
It takes an amazing level of maturity, sense of self to be able to pull of long distance relationships.
Rooster you aren't even CLOSE to it.

And the way you're treating this girl, even if she wasn't a camgirl, would NOT be ok in ANY relationship... NOT healthy. PERIOD.

I respect your opinion and to some extent i do agree with you, right now i am not boyfriend material for a cam girl. That is why i am on this forum, telling all to you, because i want to better myself for her. Although we have never met i would love to meet her and give this relationship a chance.

Most people i have told about her profession have told me to dump her right away because she is a 'whore'. I do not agree with them and although it is clear that i am struggling to deal with her job, i feel that the relationship is worth chasing because i really like this girl.

 

[ScarletVixen]

Rooster, just curious, are you jealous/possessive of her and things she does outside of webcamming? Like if she has a guy friend over, would you also be concerned? Or if she goes out drinking/partying with friends and you're sitting at home by the computer?

I don't mean anything bad by it, I'm just trying to get a feel for if it's directly from the camming/work that she does or if it stems from a general problem with the long distance relationship aspect of it all. I've been in multiple Long-Distance Relationships, almost all of them have worked out long-term and ended with me meeting them and continuing the relationship in person like 'normal' people. There's always been jealousy hiccups along the way with the LDRs I've been in though, nothing quite like this, but general insecurity concerns that had to be worked through.

 

[LittleRooster]

To be fair, it could be completely legit. I'd just be wary. Looking at things objectively, you have a beautiful Romanian cam model you've met online. After only a month of knowing one another, she's committed herself to a relationship with you, despite having never met you, and despite (I'm assuming) having no trouble finding someone in Romania who she can see, and touch, and be touched by. Furthermore, despite not knowing you for long and despite having never met you, she's sacrificed income by drastically limiting herself in her job to only do the things you say you're comfortable with. Despite sacrificing income for you at a time when she's said she most needs it, she's not angry with you, but rather she's told you everything that you wanted to hear as far as her camming career goes (cumming for members makes her sick; cumming for you makes her feel special; she doesn't want to do anything you don't want her to do). From an outsider's perspective, it all just sounds too good to be true, ya know?

Even though she's now broken up with you, I'd be cautious and try to take a step back and assess things if I were you :twocents-02cents:

I am well aware that this relationship seems too good to be true, which is maybe another reason that it is not working. I am trying so hard to keep her and make this real, i pushed her away. I am being cautious (e.g. dropping hints that i have no money this week) and she does not appear to change. Like i said, i have never given her money and wouldn't even think of it. So, if she is scamming me, i am struggling to see what her motives could be?

 

[LittleRooster]

Rooster, just curious, are you jealous/possessive of her and things she does outside of webcamming? Like if she has a guy friend over, would you also be concerned? Or if she goes out drinking/partying with friends and you're sitting at home by the computer?

I don't mean anything bad by it, I'm just trying to get a feel for if it's directly from the camming/work that she does or if it stems from a general problem with the long distance relationship aspect of it all. I've been in multiple Long-Distance Relationships, almost all of them have worked out long-term and ended with me meeting them and continuing the relationship in person like 'normal' people. There's always been jealousy hiccups along the way with the LDRs I've been in though, nothing quite like this, but general insecurity concerns that had to be worked through.

No, i trust her completely, she said she won't do cum shows, and i completely believe her. When she goes out partying or out with friends, she sends me pictures of herself in a pretty dress, i am not jealous. I completely trust her and in some ways i'm proud of her! I think the jealousy thing has been blown out of proportion, i just don't like the thought of other men seeing her naked (even though it is the nature of the job)! And that is why i am here, because i hate being jealous, and she hates it, too, but we both want to try and make it work.

 

[Rebecca Buck]

this is sounding more and more like a scam everytime you post. why don't you ask her these questions?

i don't understand why you would think that. Maybe i'm being naive but she knows about my finances i'm not anywhere near rich and i do not visit her at work, i have nothing to offer her financially and she knows it, therefore i do not believe that i am being scammed. Could you please elaborate and tell me why you think that?

Anytime someone doesn't sit right the immediate thought on the forum is "SCAM! SCAM! IT'S A SCAM!"

Rooster, buddy. I applaud you for trying to make the conscious decision to better yourself for this girl.

I need to ask you some questions regarding yourself, and you don't have to answer them here, but do ask them seriously to yourself, and try to find the answer.

Why are you jealous? You've said you're aware of how lucky you are that you get what she does at work for 'free', but it's not about the money. You're getting HER, personally, without the act and bullshit that camgirls put on for clients.

You are resistant to the idea of her camming and sharing herself with other people. Is it because you view sex and intimacy as a personal, private matter? If that's the case, then you need to ask yourself why do I think this? What does it say about yourself that you have negative feelings about sharing this girl you very obviously care about and want to be with?

Watch this video. Watch it through the entirety, and keep an open mind. I want you to apply this to yourself and see if this doesn't answer some other questions.

The only person who can really help you is yourself, and you need to look in your heart to change these beliefs.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Serious questions. Have you ever had a real life relationship? And if she hates camming so much and you want it to work out so badly shouldn't you be trying to be less of a scrub so that she doesn't have to cam anymore?

 

[LaceyRoyce]

@_@

this whole situation is fucked up.
Rooster, I just do not think you are camgirl boyfriend material.

AND no - to whoever said that camgirls are calling him bad things because he's not the type to date a camgirl! its not that he's not good camgirl boyfriend material that makes him manipulative and controlling, its because he's a manipulative and controlling person (by his own descriptions).

It takes an amazing level of maturity and sense of self to be able to date a sex worker.
It takes an amazing level of maturity, sense of self to be able to pull of long distance relationships.
Rooster you aren't even CLOSE to it.

And the way you're treating this girl, even if she wasn't a camgirl, would NOT be ok in ANY relationship... NOT healthy. PERIOD.

I respect your opinion and to some extent i do agree with you, right now i am not boyfriend material for a cam girl. That is why i am on this forum, telling all to you, because i want to better myself for her. Although we have never met i would love to meet her and give this relationship a chance.

Most people i have told about her profession have told me to dump her right away because she is a 'whore'. I do not agree with them and although it is clear that i am struggling to deal with her job, i feel that the relationship is worth chasing because i really like this girl.

Then go work on your jealousy. Go see a therapist. Seriously - go to therapy. Work on it. Focus not on saving her, but on getting yourself into a better place!

Worst case scencario: you come out a better person, but the relationship is not meant to be. BUT you're better prepared to have awesome relationships in the future!

 

[LittleRooster]

Serious questions. Have you ever had a real life relationship? And if she hates camming so much and you want it to work out so badly shouldn't you be trying to be less of a scrub so that she doesn't have to cam anymore?

Yes, i have had previous relationships where i can see the other person, touch them and have sex with them, but this is the first girl that i have really liked, maybe because that is the persona she is portraying to me to scam me, or if it is genuine, think of it how you will.

And yes, i agree with you about me working on myself to help her. But that takes time, and i'm just trying to change myself for the now.

 

[God]

here is a quick summary of the situation as i understand it...


here is what i have read so far...

#1: this is your relationship that is in trouble (but the relationship already ended)

#2: you don't approve of anything she does at work, even though she does the same for you.

#3: you have given her your demands (as they relate to her life)

#4: she said she didn't like some aspect of her work (this kind of thing can lead to misunderstandings)

#5: she did what most camgirls would probably do when given demands (whether online or offline) by ending the relationship

#6: you said how you met her is not work-related but you met her on Twitter (a social-networking website with millions of people)

#7: you said you are a very jealous person in UK and she is in Romania (a place that has nude/topless beaches)

#8: you said you can't give her any money and you are already receiving free skype shows from her just like scammers are trying to get when she is at work.

#9: you won't take no for an answer and now you are going behind her back to find another way to get what you want

 

[Anonymous]

Most people i have told about her profession have told me to dump her right away because she is a 'whore'.

Well, clearly those people look down on sex workers, so yeah, they can just fuck off. In the future, you may want to keep people like that out of your business. No point in even having conversations about sex work(ers) with people like that.