Mental Health Concerns

[rockin_rod]

I'm concerned about the mental health of a friend.
Her regular schedule has gone out the window - sometimes she will say "back online tomorrow" and then not show up for a week or so.
She seems to have lost all her energy and previous enthusiasm, if someone tips for a menu item she takes ages to get around to doing it, and then just goes through the motions.
Room count has dropped from around 300 six months ago to often fewer than 50 in the last month.
We have discussed it, and she assures me all is well - no health issues, no financial woes, no relationship dramas, no loss of interest.
Clearly something is not right though.
I count myself as a friend these past couple of years, so I want to help and support.
Is it likely she's suffering burnout?

 

[Deleted member 45270]

If she doesn't want to talk about it with you, then it's likely she just doesn't want to talk about it/it would just bring her mood down even more. Whatever she is going through, she's still trying to do her job and earn her living. It definitely sucks to watch happen in real time but as a viewer, I don't think there's anything you can do about it.

 

[rockin_rod]

Thank you! No intention to interfere, beyond having already asked if all is well. I will continue to turn up and be a friend.
Just thought some of the models here may recognise and relate to those signs, and may be able to make some suggestions.

 

[MarieElise]

Could be a lot of things. Hopefully, it will pass and she'll get back to herself. We are kind of under pressure not to be too real and talk about anything too negative in this job. Just because people come to us for entertainment and escape. Maybe she suffered a loss or something but cannot talk about it. Could just be burnout. She could have a mental or physical illness or something. Also sometimes with some things like ADD and other disorders, they cycle, so the person goes through periods of being one way, then another. Hope that was helpful. All pure speculation.

It is a difficult job sometimes, and like a model said perfectly before (I'm stealing her phrase) you do have to have pretty thick skin to do it long term.

 

[bamdicted]

If you think she has mental issues you could point her towards Pineapple Support

 

[MallorieReese]

We all go through those kinds of time periods, don't we? If she doesn't want to talk about it try and respect that. As you can tell, in spite of anything she is going through, she is doing her best to maintain her job as much as she can. If you have a close relationship with her, I am well aware that seeing her like that can hurt. But if she wants to handle it on her own, there is nothing that you can do, really. For as long as she is online or you guys talk, try to lift up her mood with jokes, etc. Besides that, I don't think you can do anything else, sadly. I hope she will be okay.

 

[KenzieCams]

That model sounds a little like me lol. Issue is, as a cam model, we are performers for people who need an escape. There's an image and energy to maintain. As a result, there are topics that shouldn't be discussed- politics,religion or other strong opinions, stressful current events or personal issues.

Your model friend could be going through literally anything. For me, I have children so their things alter my schedule last minute. I also have been adjusting to new medication, which makes me sleepy. I started an internship and having a hard time balancing "professional" life with secret cam girl life. And I got a bf, which pulls my attention away a bit more as well. If I said any of that in my room, dicks might wilt a bit. So instead, I just show up when I can, how I can, and give the best performance I am able to because it is something I enjoy doing.

I know you are concerned, and it's super sweet, but since she isn't opening up, I think the best thing you can do is not to assume the worst. Give her lots of compliments and love when she is on and let her work the rest out on her own.

 

[Mila_]

I think the best remedy to her malady is tokens, OP. Tip her more

 

[Richyrichy]

This happens to me quite a lot. I support some cammers. And I also have a little network of guys ( two other blokes! ) who do the same.

There is me. Vigor and Dave. (We are not a gang or a group) !!!!

We each approach support in a different way. I am hands off. I say to my cammers if you want my help then this is my Instagram and email
I will be in your room at such and such a time. And I am about if you need me.

Vigor is a bit different - he is involved fully in their off-stream lives. He likes to know all the ins and outs.

Dave is more supportive on the night only.

So we each have varied styles. As blokes and being remote we can only do so much. I guess we have seen it all (the three of us)

I have met cam-girls sitting on beds talking about commit suicide. Self-harm. Crying. And just generally having a shit turn at life.

It can feel very isolating as a supporter for these girls so I understand your question and motivation to find out more.
I agree with all the other comments above. If she does not want your help - don't force it.

Unless she is actually going to do something harmful. Best to just offer support and be there.

As for support for yourself. Well, as I started off by saying I am in this little trio!
And so if you also need to reach out and just have somebody to go to a room and throw some tips then of course we can do that.

Often we will shout out to each other a cammer who is a bit unhappy/sad or having a bad day. And we can send in some fire-power with tokens.

Its amazing what a random and sudden drop of 1000TKS can do to a cammer from a stranger! But I accept tokens are not the solution in this case.

Sounds a lot like burn-out to me. You used this post to reach out on behalf of your cammer friend.



My advice to all supporters of cammers reading this post....
Don't overlook that there is an offer of "support for the support" too!

 

[MousyLion]

If she does not tell more all you can do is tip what you can, and that's about it.

Probably not the same situation but I've seen many similar changes (unstable schedule, viewers count drop, lost energy, lack of enthusiasm...) at a model I used to visit among others 2-3 years ago.
She was not my main model, just visited her from time to time, but we shared the same country and language, talked a bit more so I had the broader picture: she was lacking sleep because the smallest child kept waking her up to breastfeed her; she was camming from a rented place and the rent was taking a big part of the money made camming; her partner/father of the children was a "retard" (her word), after a quarrel his "mature" reaction was to leave her and go live with his mom for a while(and that happened in the past, too). On top of these all, even though she was not new at camming - she's been with the "retard" as a couple, then with a friend (girl), then alone - she was uncertain, sometimes she said she loved it, sometimes she said she was "uncomfortable" and that it was not "her thing". In the end she quit and took another job.

Back to the point - while not impossible, I doubt it's a mental health issue. Maybe there is (in her opinion) nothing more you can do to help and you should leave it this way.

I support some cammers. And I also have a little network of guys ( two other blokes! ) who do the same.

There is me. Vigor and Dave. (We are not a gang or a group) !!!!

We each approach support in a different way. I am hands off. I say to my cammers if you want my help then this is my Instagram and email
I will be in your room at such and such a time. And I am about if you need me.
Vigor is a bit different - he is involved fully in their off-stream lives. He likes to know all the ins and outs. Dave is more supportive on the night only.[...]
My advice to all supporters of cammers reading this post....
Don't overlook that there is an offer of "support for the support" too!

Idk... camming is is a "swim or sink" industry... models need to learn how to "swim" on their own if they want to "survive". There is a model on ACF that tells a lot to members to stick to using camsites just as they were intended to , I'm a bit surprised she didn't say it to you, too.

 

[rockin_rod]

I think the best remedy to her malady is tokens, OP. Tip her more

Got that aspect covered.
So am just going to keep on hanging out as usual

 

[Richyrichy]

Idk... camming is is a "swim or sink" industry... models need to learn how to "swim" on their own if they want to "survive". There is a model on ACF that tells a lot to members to stick to using camsites just as they were intended to , I'm a bit surprised she didn't say it to you, too.

I want to be sure I am not confusing "helping a cammer who is low...." And "Being a moderator...."

I am against moderating cammers with less than 30 people in a room. I don't think they need that mother hen style of help.

I am all for going to a room in a coordinated effort and giving a boost and some tokens plus some time to them if they are hitting a flat spot.

There are a few times where going in and getting them through a rough patch can be the difference between them quitting and turning things around. Sink or swim seems a bit hard.

But I do understand what you mean. I acknowledge what this other cam girl is saying. Basically... These cam girls need to toughen up. Its a rough business.

I am introducing the idea of a limited intervention stage where if you found a cammer sinking you send out a rallying cry and all go in to try to prop her up.

Does it work? In my opinion, it does. I can quote cammers online right now who hit a tough spot. Ready to quit. And then over a few nights, we go in... Prop her up... Tip. Talk. Listen.

And they turn it around. We then withdraw the hand-holding and let them get on with it. Behind the scenes and with the model's knowledge, we are e-mailing each other and on Instagram.

On the flip side, we have also lost some as well.. They soldier on for another week then never come back. Did we add to their distress by prolonging their ending? Maybe...

 

[GraysonDrake]

I think the best remedy to her malady is tokens, OP. Tip her more

This. It seems glib but if she's actually having a hard time and doesn't want to talk about it tipping her extra would in fact be something OP could do that would help her. If I'm going through a rough shitty spot and didn't want to talk about and one of my regs did this it would absolutely make my day and take some of the stress off way more than talking about it would.

 

[Aprilsweetart]

It’s honestly sweet that you care enough to ask. She could be going through ANYTHING. we’re people too… burnouts, mental health, Family issues, addiction … they plague us too.
We try and save face to keep our fans happy. The illusion is part of the glow