Lies you were told as a child

[ElaySmith]

We have all done this or had it done to us. What is a lie that you were told as a child that you believed? Have you told a lie to any kids in your family?

I can’t remember anything specific that I was lied to about but I’ve def pulled a few over on my nephew/niece I don’t remember exactly how it came about but I told my nephew the clanking sound when you shake a spray can is a baby tooth. Like the tooth fairy sales them to the paint company so she can leave money for more teeth he believed this well into his teens. One day we were cleaning up and he picked up a spray can and shook it and the look on his face was pricelss.... like it all came together in that moment. His whole life was a lie.

My niece just turned 4 and I’m waiting for that perfect moment to get her. Next time we pass a farm that has the huge covered round hay bales I’m going to tell her it’s a marshmallow farm. Pic for reference.

 

[Emberblaze]

I'm excited to read this thread. I didn't get any of the normal childhood lies like Santa and I enjoy living vicariously through others lol.

My childhood was super weird.

 

[krango]

I once found a turtle. I loved the turtle a lot. One day the turtle "laid an egg". So my gma said we had to put the turtle outside with the egg and it ran away forever. I was a sad. Then one day 20 years later I realized it was a chicken egg.

 

[Useful-Title]

Hmm...most of the lies I was told revolves around if you are “good” for X amount of time you can get Y thing you want. Seems I was never good enough to get that transformer though. :/

Then there was the one my older siblings told me, that I was found on the doorstep. This is one I have since embraced due to their political leanings (and that is where I will leave that).

Lastly, my mother had to “check for poison” when we got ice cream. We were not allowed to eat it until she got a lick of spoonful of it first. Because, you know for safety reasons.

 

[Violet Dawn]

Lies I was, LITERALLY, told: "America is the ONLY country where you have absolute freedom. Other than Canada, which still has health care injustices, you are basically a slave and have to worship your leader indefinitely and it's like BASICALLY communism."

Lies I told as a kid because I'm just evil and thought it would be funny: I told my brother that sonic the hedgehog was based off the owners own hedgehogs. He had hedgehogs of all the hedgehog characters.

Another was that I told him in Harvest Moon A wonderful life there was a "Harvest Buzzard" and you had to leave your house and go to a specific area at night to see it. And it was really rare. He tried to find it for like 2 hours but never did and IT DIDNT EXIST. I also told him I caught this shark (it actually did exist) but I never did.

He always believed me on dumb shit like this because I was one of those kids who always looked up everything there is to know about video games and tv shows I found interest in. He never fact-checked LOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

[SMuser69]

I was told crazy things that my parent only realized years later border the traumatic. One was trolls grow on dirty floor and then will go under my bed to grab me at night. Then I was told drawings on the wall will come to life at night and eat me. It took me years longer to get over fear of the dark because of this. But I did keep my room immaculate because of it. Parents must had spent a fortune feeding my flashlights C batteries for years.

 

[Dan Epstein]

"You can be anything you wish to be", that’s a lie we tell to kids and adults alike, especially when we couldn’t care less about someone. The truth is that I know you wouldn’t be what or who you wish to be, but if you’re my friend,I’ll have your back anyway.

 

[ThePrincessLuxy]

Lol, kind of a darker spin: My mom told me if I used tampons it would make my pussy loose and no guy would want me.

She is full of tons of hilarious lies

 

[Violet Dawn]

My mom used to tell me if I dated guys at all, like more than 2 or 3, guys wouldn't wanna date me. LMFAO.

She didn't say if I slept with them, she said if I DATED them. Which is like, really confusing and stuff. Because how am I supposed to know if a guys worth dating if I don't date him???

She's wrong. Most guys I've been with either heavily overestimate or underestimate the amount of people I've dated.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

I got married and my dad gave a speech about how I convinced my siblings that there was a magical land in the closet called lollipop land.

Every single of my friends lost their shit laughing. Dad has no idea what my cam name is so he was confused but happy that everyone found his joke hilarious

 

[JickyJuly]

Whenever our cat nearly kills a lizard in the house, I tell my 5 year old that I'm taking it outside to see better if it's okay. Then, I report back that it has triumphed and survived. Her face says she's skeptical. I can't really think of any funny ones. I don't even sell the Easter bunny or Santa very hard... just extra presents.

Ones I was told...
"High school is the best time of your life." Apparently, my mother was popular and enjoyed herself. I spent that time anorexic and bouncing between the cheerleaders and the burnouts. Thankfully, she was wrong.
"College is different." Nope. Same yawn. Different price.
Lots of weird ones about labor/delivery/motherhood...

 

[Lelo1]

"you just need to try harder."

No matter how hard you try, you can't breath underwater. Instead you have to figure out what works. Holding your breath, a snorkel, scuba gear, enriching water with oxygen, extra.

"Only have sex with some one you love." "we only had sex because we love each other."

Sex and Love goes well together. But sex isn't love. Love isn't sex. Thinking the those two things are the same just leads to thinking sex is love. Having sex with some one isn't going to mean they automatically love some you.

"Stranger Danger"

Yah there are dangerous strangers. But it turns out people you know may be more dangerous.

 

[NoelleBright]

I accidentally killed my pet guinea pig when I was a kid by feeding it too many cheetos. My mom told me she buried it in the back yard while I was at school, but years later she revealed that she just tossed it into the empty lot across the street.

Also an indirect lie, I grew up thinking I was eventually gonna grow some big tiddies because that's what my mom had. I found out when I was 20 that she paid for them and that I was lucky to have grown what I did.

 

[Goddess_Pandora]

That it was illegal to turn on the light in the car while driving. I believed this up until I was driving for like a year xD I was terrified to turn on that stupid inside light.

 

[SaffronBurke]

That it was illegal to turn on the light in the car while driving. I believed this up until I was driving for like a year xD I was terrified to turn on that stupid inside light.

I've been told that so many times, too! I just wanted to read so I wouldn't be bored on a long car trip, but nooooo.

 

[fandango]

I've been told that so many times, too! I just wanted to read so I wouldn't be bored on a long car trip, but nooooo.

I was told the same lie but there is actually a good reason for it. The reflections from the light inside the car make it harder to see out and its pretty dangerous.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I was told the same lie but there is actually a good reason for it. The reflections from the light inside the car make it harder to see out and its pretty dangerous.

My mom could've totally just said that instead of lying. 8-year-old me would have tolerated "I can't see out of the windshield to drive if the light is on", which explains the issue rather than just "it's illegal". So is speeding, Mom, but that doesn't stop you.

 

[DickMagnificent]

Oh man, my parents were really good at this. I've probably forgotten most of them, but the one that sticks out was when I asked about why people don't just drive around/through the orange cones and pylons they leave on the ground when they're doing road work. (I was full of stuff like, "signs can't tell me what to do!" when I was younger, so my parents had to come up with clever excuses as to why I couldn't do things) My mom said other than being illegal to drive through a closed off area, the cones were filled with concrete, so if someone tried to go through them, it would destroy their car and probably kill them. Me being 7, I was like that totally makes sense and never questioned it further.

Fast forward like 15 years and I'm driving down I-75 in Atlanta, with a friend, and see a car swerve to avoid another. That feeling of instant panic/dread sets in when I see that they're about to hit one of the big orange cylinders. Adrenaline kicked in, time slowed down, and I yelled out, "Oh god! They're going to hit it!" So I brace myself that I'm about to see someone die.

*bump*

They hit the cylinder and knock it like 20 yards forward... Then instead of doing any sort of flip or anything like a car would normally do when it runs into concrete at highway speeds, it just bumps it, merges back into the lane, and the guy driving the car that swerved gives the guy driving the other car the middle finger. My first thought was that he was super lucky that he hit the only one they forgot to fill with concrete lol. Then my brain finally processed that I was a dumbass and they weren't filled with anything haha.

 

[Goddess_Pandora]

My mom could've totally just said that instead of lying. 8-year-old me would have tolerated "I can't see out of the windshield to drive if the light is on", which explains the issue rather than just "it's illegal". So is speeding, Mom, but that doesn't stop you.

Oh my god this! Like as an adult now, I can understand if you have like night blindness that having that light is really dangerous. But man, none of the interior lights were allowed on. And trying to entertain 4 kids on long drives and not letting us read was torture!

 

[Mila_]

I was told some pigeons wear orange pantyhose.

 

[Emberblaze]

Ok I thought of something my step Sister was told. So I have a step Sister that lived at my dad's and Step Mothers. I lived with my Mom and Grandfather.

My Grandfather played the lottery every week and him, my mom and I each got a scratch ticket to scratch.

My sister had a fondness of scratch tickets so my step Mom told her it was illegal for kids to touch scratch tickets. So we're out and my sister is like 7-8 and I'm 9-10 and she's begging for a scratch ticket and my step Mother is life "No, we've been over this it's illegal for kids to touch them." And my know it all annoying ass pipes up like "WELL ACTUALLY IT'S ONLY ILLEGAL FOR CHILDREN TO BUY THEM OR CASH THEM IN, BUT THERE'S NO LAW SAYING CHILDREN CAN'T SCRATCH THEM SO CAN WE GET A SCRATCH TICKET?" *Insert step Mother death glare here.*

 

[Sansa]

I don't remember any that others told me, but I do remember one I told my (much younger) brother.

He was convinced I was a real elf because my big ass ears stick out and I worked at a toy store. One time he asked me how the toys got to the store from the North Pole, so I concocted some story about how there was a secret portal in the back room that connected the store to the Santa's toy factory. That's also why customers weren't allowed in the back room. He believed me for years.

 

[CharlieCharma]

Buggers were bugs that flew up your nose.
I believed it until I was in high school. I don't remember how it came up, but it was 9th grade and my class looked at me like I was an idiot, which, I mean, I believed buggers were bugs so.. I kind of was.

 

[Poison_Ivy21]

When my brother figured out Santa wasn't real he flipped. Not because Santa was that important but because he felt so betrayed by our mother. He even locked himself in the bathroom and yelled some shit like, "I can't believe you thought it was okay to lie to me for so long!"

Sagittarius men, always so dramatic.

 

[MiaJay13]

My mom used to say if I crossed my eyes they would get stuck.

 

[MiaJay13]

That it was illegal to turn on the light in the car while driving. I believed this up until I was driving for like a year xD I was terrified to turn on that stupid inside light.

My parents told me the same thing!

 

[yummybrownfox]

I was told by a classmate that if a dragonfly lands on you, you will turn into the Devil. I was scared af. Lmao.

 

[EmptyKins]

That if semen touches your skin you will become pregnant. My girlfriend and I both bought pregnancy tests at target and took them in their bathroom stalls side by side assuring each other that even though we were both virgins "technically" our teacher might be right and if we were pregnant from the fuck boys who jizzed on our stomachs after a hand job we would support each other no matter what and let's make a babysitting chart to match our sophomore year of high school and HOLY SHIT we aren't pregnant lets just cry and hold each other until some one else comes in the bathroom and makes it weird and I'm craving a soft pretzel lets get out of here.fuck boys...

 

[justjoinedtopost]

There were a few lies, the sort that took me several years before it dawned on me that they were lies. Things like "Brownie ran away" sounded less plausible 5 years later, after seeing the busy road we lived on claim 3 or 4 other pets...

By far the most egregious lie told to me came from a preacher. A family member of mine had a terminal diagnosis; for whatever reason, our preacher stood in front of a whole congregation and told a big fat lie about how she had been healed.

He even went as far as sharing testimony from the doctors, telling us how they were all amazed at the sudden recovery she had experienced. Surprised that her case had not followed the natural order of things, they promptly gave the credit and the glory to God. There was no other explanation.

I didn't know this preacher was spinning a yarn fueled by third-hand information; I believed him. When the family member died a short time later, I remember being sort of numbed by the fact the preacher was wrong.

Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if they had just been straight with me as a four year old, and said "Brownie got hit by a Ford going over 70 last night."

I have also spent some time wondering if it might have been easier on the children if they had just buried my mom in the woods and told us she ran away.

 

[BiancaBaker]

Blood is thicker than water (when talking about friends vs family) FUCK that noise. Most my water is thicker than my blood..