Hello, I'm new to the community, but not camming itself; or using the related services from Models.
Also, please excuse grammatical errors and funny sounding sentences, english is not my first language.
The title basically says it all; I just wanted to get this off my chest, since I can't really speak about stuff like that with my IRL friends.
I never really visited cam-sites before; It was only porn and that's it. But last year, while being a bit drunk and at home, I've searched upon a movie and one of those annoying cam popups catched my eye; I was curious and
actually visited the site, browsing some models while as a guest. I wasn't really horny, just a bit lonely I guess? And wanted to chat. Most models weren't really appealing, didn't talk much, but I just kept searching and eventually found a girl which was really active in freechat, basically trying to talk with everybody. It was one of those sites where the models could only earn money by doing private sessions, which were pretty costly. So I figured, why not create an account, just invest a little something and chat with the mentioned girl. I had a fun time, she was witty and smart and knew how to get a conversation going, but I didn't think much of it, just a means of passing my time.
That was last year, around august. From then on, I've visited the mentioned model and another one which was pretty similar, smart and not too much on that "ey bb, come pv soon bb" line, from time to time, just to chat when I felt bored and had no one to hang out with. But around april this year I've became sick, couldn't work for like 2 months, actually just started working again last week. And my visits became more frequent; Private Sessions longer, I really loved the affection and attention those two models were giving me; The conversations we had. I am and always was pretty defensive and kinda paranoid around them though; I knew that what they were doing was their job, trying to "Hold" me as long as possible in private. But on the other hand i kinda wanted to believe that what they were saying was real. It wasn't really healthy in retrospect; I was just lying to myself constantly, telling myself i need to step down and not to get emotionally attached, little did I know that I already dug myself too deep. Sometimes I was fighting with myself; I've had no problem visiting other girls, since I knew that it was a show and nothing else. But with those two mentioned models I had to force myself sometimes to do something else, even though part of me just wanted to hang out with them. I've invested alot of money and kinda saw my bank account getting drained, but the affection and "love" those two were giving was making me feel really good, and it's not just the affection, i really enjoyed talking to them. But I was always just trying to find out, subtle at that, if they were honest or not. I never really asked them directly, since I was sure that they would ofcourse say yes; Never asked them about personal information or any form of outside means of messaging, since I knew that they would get banned for it, and I'm not the type of guy to pressure someone. But I still kept on hoping that maybe, someday, they'd give me a subtle hint to contact them elsewhere. Long story short; Yesterday I've started my last private sessions with both of them, told them that I'm gonna quit that particular site, that I am thankful for the time we've spent together and to wish them the best for their future. I could see that one of them was visibly sad, the other one even cried which i really felt bad for since i probably ruined her night in terms of business. I then messaged customer support, telling them to delete my account, which they quickly did. On one hand, I kinda felt relieved and free, on the other hand anxious and really sad, leaving 2 wonderful people I've met behind, just like that.
I just wanted to have your oppinions on this, since I guess some of you have dealt with people like me or a similar situation.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Also, please excuse grammatical errors and funny sounding sentences, english is not my first language.
The title basically says it all; I just wanted to get this off my chest, since I can't really speak about stuff like that with my IRL friends.
I never really visited cam-sites before; It was only porn and that's it. But last year, while being a bit drunk and at home, I've searched upon a movie and one of those annoying cam popups catched my eye; I was curious and
actually visited the site, browsing some models while as a guest. I wasn't really horny, just a bit lonely I guess? And wanted to chat. Most models weren't really appealing, didn't talk much, but I just kept searching and eventually found a girl which was really active in freechat, basically trying to talk with everybody. It was one of those sites where the models could only earn money by doing private sessions, which were pretty costly. So I figured, why not create an account, just invest a little something and chat with the mentioned girl. I had a fun time, she was witty and smart and knew how to get a conversation going, but I didn't think much of it, just a means of passing my time.
That was last year, around august. From then on, I've visited the mentioned model and another one which was pretty similar, smart and not too much on that "ey bb, come pv soon bb" line, from time to time, just to chat when I felt bored and had no one to hang out with. But around april this year I've became sick, couldn't work for like 2 months, actually just started working again last week. And my visits became more frequent; Private Sessions longer, I really loved the affection and attention those two models were giving me; The conversations we had. I am and always was pretty defensive and kinda paranoid around them though; I knew that what they were doing was their job, trying to "Hold" me as long as possible in private. But on the other hand i kinda wanted to believe that what they were saying was real. It wasn't really healthy in retrospect; I was just lying to myself constantly, telling myself i need to step down and not to get emotionally attached, little did I know that I already dug myself too deep. Sometimes I was fighting with myself; I've had no problem visiting other girls, since I knew that it was a show and nothing else. But with those two mentioned models I had to force myself sometimes to do something else, even though part of me just wanted to hang out with them. I've invested alot of money and kinda saw my bank account getting drained, but the affection and "love" those two were giving was making me feel really good, and it's not just the affection, i really enjoyed talking to them. But I was always just trying to find out, subtle at that, if they were honest or not. I never really asked them directly, since I was sure that they would ofcourse say yes; Never asked them about personal information or any form of outside means of messaging, since I knew that they would get banned for it, and I'm not the type of guy to pressure someone. But I still kept on hoping that maybe, someday, they'd give me a subtle hint to contact them elsewhere. Long story short; Yesterday I've started my last private sessions with both of them, told them that I'm gonna quit that particular site, that I am thankful for the time we've spent together and to wish them the best for their future. I could see that one of them was visibly sad, the other one even cried which i really felt bad for since i probably ruined her night in terms of business. I then messaged customer support, telling them to delete my account, which they quickly did. On one hand, I kinda felt relieved and free, on the other hand anxious and really sad, leaving 2 wonderful people I've met behind, just like that.
I just wanted to have your oppinions on this, since I guess some of you have dealt with people like me or a similar situation.
Have a wonderful weekend.
