Is going on camsites cheating?

[Guy]

I know there was a thread about this back in 2013, but I would like to hear feedback from the many people on here that have joined ACF since then.

 

[BiancaBaker]

Unless your mouth/penis is going in another girl's hole (which is impossible) via a cam site it is not cheating.

Maybe emotionally cheating if your on a site like MFC and get invested in a girl, but I would not care if my boyfriend tipped/was a regular of a cam girl.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Anything can be cheating depending on your relationship and it's boundaries.

 

[Mila_]

I ticked "maybe" because in my opinion it all depends on how you use the site. If you go on tokensites and use it as a source of porn and entertainment, I wouldn't consider it cheating. But if you are establishing emotional bonds with a model, doing privates with her or spending a sizeable portion of your income on her, I would definitely consider it cheating. Especially if you have a wife and children.

 

[SMuser69]

If your SO says it's cheating to them then it's cheating. There's no constant for cheating, it's different for each relationship.

To answer your question. Would I consider it cheating? No. Are there things that would give off red flags while my SO is working? Sure.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I think this might be the first time I've typed this, but... I agree with Kitsune.

 

[AudriTwo]

I personally think no because I view myself as masturbation material with a personality. I don't get pissed if my dude jerks off to other girls because I understand it doesn't mean anything.

But if he starts telling someone he wants to be with them or starts building an emotional connection, than that is cheating. So I clicked maybe.

 

[CharlieCharma]

I always defined cheating as doing something you're too ashamed to tell your partner about. So, if this is something you know your partner would be hurt by, yes. If this is something you aren't hiding from your partner and doesn't bother them, no.

 

[ExcellaExe]

I agree that it depends on the relationship. I don't care if my SO looks at porn or goes to camsites (well, unless he's dead broke and spending all his money, then I care). Unless you develop a deep, emotional bond with/to a camgirl, then it's not cheating in my eyes--and if you do, that's something you might wanna legit look inward on. No one wants to be the livingmyth guy.

 

[oXBlackRoseXo]

I've posed this question before, not here though. Really, idk. If I caught my husband on a cam site (caught implying he was hiding it from me) I would consider it way worse than porn because you are interacting with a person and there's money exchanged for the service. I think it all boils down to if they are hiding it, yes, I'd say it is. If they aren't hiding it, the SO is aware, no obviously not. It definitely can be considered cheating in my mind, so I feel like it's best to have cards on the table about it. Doesn't have to be "hey I go pay this girl to do xyz so I can jerk off to it" but an "instead of pornhub I like to use this site" is a reasonable compromise. I definitely wouldn't want to be the person who's wife walked in and caught them on it when they weren't aware because the simple fact there is interaction makes it more than standard porn. Just my opinion.

 

[Phoenix4987]

There is no objective answer for a subjective question. Depends entirely on the people involved.

 

[jinx juggs]

definitely depends on the SO. If they think it's cheating, it's cheating.

 

[Mikachu_MFC]

I'm from the school of thought that every relationship is unique and has different rules. For some couples, porn is cheating and for others kissing is cheating and still others are only concerned with emotional intimacy.

 

[sexyvanessa4u]

I voted Maybe because I think anything your SO is not okay with is considered cheating. It's different for everyone.

 

[PrincessSnowAngel]

I always defined cheating as doing something you're too ashamed to tell your partner about. So, if this is something you know your partner would be hurt by, yes. If this is something you aren't hiding from your partner and doesn't bother them, no.

this is how i also see it. i think if you have to hide something like that and know its going to hurt your partner then you are cheating. and i also agree that webcam sites are more personal and interactive and would be more like actual cheating then just a porn site. on that note me and my boyfriend both enjoy watching porn and checking the cam sites together and he has no major problems with what im doing, in fact he supports me,and often mods my room, he actually introduced me to camming as we were doing couples shows when i first started. we always are open and talk about what we feel is best for us and i never feel as though i cant tell him all my thoughts completely. its hard to understand why anyone would want to be in a relationship with someone that didnt feel like they could trust you to enough to be honest with you.

 

[Mikey_P]

I'm so happy that most people clicked maybe!

People have all sorts of boundaries that are implied, unconscious, expected but rarely communicated and they are easy to violate. So for some ppl it might be a form of mild cheating, emotionally, attention wise, sharing sexual energy and money outside of the relationship.

If the average woman were as visually horny as men, then men would probably have to deal with the nuance of cheating as something beyond physical touch. The only thing i can imagine that is similar but far more detrimental are those silly dumb arse work husband and work wives relationships or extra-relationships that seem to close and intimate.


I never told my ex that I was entertaining myself with MFC. She probably would have been mildly butthurt about it and probably would have blamed the fact that we only saw each other like every 3 weeks when that had nothing to do with it. I'm a man, I like women, I like women who get naked, I like when they have an awesome personality, I won't fall in love with a model... maybe fall in like with them but that is it. More like a visual, personality, rarely sexual fluffer as an aside to my partner. Entertainment with empathy! LOL

 

[DonaDiabla]

Frankly, it depends on the relationship and how they used camsites.

 

[EvilynMichelle]

It's a maybe. To us model we see y'all as friends. To your partner that can be cheating. You're talking dirty, giving us your attention, sweet talking, and spending money on someone else other than your partner. I've been camming for a year and I've dated a lot this year. With the men they always cheated on me though. They were jealous by the popularity / money I get from camming.

Here's my advice:
-Make sure you give your partner the attention and love they deserve.
-If you are going to spend money on a model, maybe take your partner for dinner or go see a movie. \
-If you are going to buy a gift for a model, do the same with your partner.
-Hang out / do fun stuff. Hiking, walking, something y'all love doing together.

I know men come on camming sites because they have a fetish that their partner doesn't like. Also, I have a lot of customers who are in long relationships and been married for years. I even get couples all the time, even off cam in my "real life" as well.

Hope that helps a little!

 

[Barbie Belle]

As long as you aren't hiding from your partner, or blowing all your money without their knowledge/approval I don't consider it cheating. But again it tots depends on who the two people involved are. I have a friend that doesn't think porn or cam sites is cheating but another who would kill her BF if he bought a playboy. ALL KINDS!

 

[Ambers Troll]

My view... if you can't share that you like going to cam-sites with your partner then it is cheating. There is no point being involved with someone if you are going to hide who you are from them. Cheating is the very definition of hiding in this way.

 

[Mikey_P]

My view... if you can't share that you like going to cam-sites with your partner then it is cheating. There is no point being involved with someone if you are going to hide who you are from them. Cheating is the very definition of hiding in this way.

LOL going on a cam site isn't who you are, it is something you do!

Also, cheating is a very stupid word. It should be looked at more as-- Will this cause my partner pain if she found out, am I willing to not do this because of that or not.

There is not a right or wrong answer to the above.

Only super lame dudes turn this into something on the level of cheating with how much attachment and emotion they put into this form of entertainment.

 

[Kiki Jane]

Like a lot of people have said, going to cam sites is cheating if it goes against the agreed-upon boundaries of a relationship.I think, if I didn't have inside knowledge of what camsex is about, I would consider it 100% cheating and not something I would want a partner to sneak around and do, like having a secret girlfriend. But having worked in the biz, I think the occasional visit to a webcam site is ok, like watching porn, as long as it doesn't take emotional or financial resources away from the relationship... Especially if it's a rare treat when the wife is out of town or something, or an occasional indulgence in a fetish she doesn't like.

I have a very occasional customer who tells me he feels naughty, because he loves his wife a lot, but she's out of town and he's horny. He likes me because I look a lot like his wife. I think that's almost sweet

 

[nekogasuki]

In some relationships, having sex with other people is okay within certain perimeters, so what constitutes cheating is totally dependent on a particular relationship. Look up the definition of "cheat" and it's about deception, breaking rules, or a failure to live up to expectations. I'm going to have to agree with the people who said that hiding things that involve money and emotional intimacy from your partner because you think they'll be upset constitutes cheating because it's a violation of either assumed or spoken terms in the relationship. Otherwise, why hide?

 

[MatureSwiss]

I also think all depends on the people that are involved - for everyone it's a different situation

 

[Ambers Troll]

Even as purely a show/ entertainment to hide that from a partner is a form of cheating them .... they should know what you are passionate about/ interested in.
Sometimes smaller interests may not matter much (in the same way that some people like to flirt), but regular ones should do in a partner: They don't have to share in the interest, but if they are into you, then they will want to know what you are into. I will assert that hiding any major passion from a partner is ultimately cheating the relationship.

My view... if you can't share that you like going to cam-sites with your partner then it is cheating. There is no point being involved with someone if you are going to hide who you are from them. Cheating is the very definition of hiding in this way.

I wasn't suggesting that you should share, only that you should be able to. I don't tell loved ones many things, there are many things they just don't want to know.

In simple terms if you share your passion for a fetish, then it should be no surprise to a partner that you look for it on a cam site. Hiding the fetish takes that part of you away from them, you are cheating on them with the fetish and they have a right to be upset about that. They may take no interest in your fetishes, in that case it doesn't matter as they are outside that circle of intimacy.

 

[DiscoStu47]

Related question, if we're saying that, under certain circumstances going on a cam site is cheating, does the cam model have any responsibility as "the other woman"?

To be very clear, I'm not making a judgement about it or implying some sort of ethical issue, but the question follows if we're calling it cheating do both parties have any responsibility? I honestly don't know the answer to that.

My biggest issue is that "cheating" seems to have become a catch-all that includes everything from someone purposely (and maliciously) sleeping around on their partner all the way to not sharing something they like with their partner. That's a gigantic spread of behaviors with an equally large spread of ethical implications covered by one term/notion.

 

[SMuser69]

Related question, if we're saying that, under certain circumstances going on a cam site is cheating, does the cam model have any responsibility as "the other woman"?

To be very clear, I'm not making a judgement about it or implying some sort of ethical issue, but the question follows if we're calling it cheating do both parties have any responsibility? I honestly don't know the answer to that.

My biggest issue is that "cheating" seems to have become a catch-all that includes everything from someone purposely (and maliciously) sleeping around on their partner all the way to not sharing something they like with their partner. That's a gigantic spread of behaviors with an equally large spread of ethical implications covered by one term/notion.

The model is performing a service for money not to "help" you. You can't blame McDonalds for making you fat. You can't blame the Casino for your gambling addiction. Cheating is about initiating something against your SO's wishes. I doesn't matter if any other participants in that action know about it or not, only YOU have to answer to your SO if you cross the line.

 

[Mikey_P]

Cheating really is a foolish word because it has more to do with the intention of the action. You all are creating a weird universal definition that is mostly about how the other half FEELS and not about what actually goes on. Using the very illogical train of thought that has been presented-- Almost anything could be considered cheating if you don't tell your partner and if your partner wouldn't like it. Some women are crazy, hyper jealous so in those cases something as simple as saying hello to another woman, giving a hug and looking at another woman is considered cheating. I'm all about everyone in a relationship defending it against emotional and physical cheating by not doing stupid and unnecessary BS with other ppl but 'we' have really pushed 'cheating' to the edge when cam site viewing without any unhealthy behavior is considered cheating. Of course it depends on the 'rules' and 'contract' of each relationship but we have stretched it a bit.

I have to admit that non-disclosure ins't always lying in my mind.

So I go to a camsite, the models don't really mean $@@$ to me, it isn't a major part of my life, just something I do mostly when bored, sometimes just for visual stimulation, sometimes for banter and I don't spend money that we need on models. My partner would have a problem with it so I don't tell her-- Have I cheated or have I not disclosed something i feel as inconsequential to our relationship. She might GAF about it but it doesn't violate any major written or unwritten rules of our relationship.

Let boys be boys, especially when we aren't being too bad. Women @$@$ up relationships when they overreact to minor stuff and then remind us of our nagging mother so we leave her and run back to our favorite cam girls who only nag when they aren't being tipped and when their cam score is being destroyed!!!!

 

[nekogasuki]

Related question, if we're saying that, under certain circumstances going on a cam site is cheating, does the cam model have any responsibility as "the other woman"?

I don't think the other woman (or man, for that matter) ever has any responsibility when it comes to someone else cheating on their partner. I'm saying this as someone who's been cheated on by multiple people and I've never held the people my exes have cheated with accountable. Those people didn't make any commitments to me, so why should they be held responsible for the behavior of the person who was supposed to be in a closed relationship? Personally, I wouldn't knowingly have sex with someone in a closed relationship, but I don't think it's anyone's responsibility to "help" anyone remain faithful. This might not be a popular opinion, but it's informed by the personal experience of facing the acculturated inclination to reallocate blame away from partners, who are really the ones who should be held responsible in the case of cheating.

 

[Mikey_P]

I wouldn't blame a cam girl but I would blame the other half in an affair, not more so than my partner but I would see them as not a good person. Depending on the level of disrespect, like if it happened in my home, if it were someone I knew, if it were a friend, business associate it would escalate.