Invasion of privacy.

[nerdguy]

I honestly think that I owe some of you ladies an apology. Completely without realizing what I was doing, I was prying of where some of you all live. One model has me unconditionally banned, and I honestly should have learned my lesson, but I didn't. I was in a different model's room the other night and she said that I had made her feel uncomfortable because this wasn't the first time I had, which I honestly hadn't remembered. I apologized to her in the room, but then it unfortunately became the chat topic, which really didn't help anything. I just got a mfc mail this morning from that model telling me that she 's temporarlily banning me from her room for it, and other things. I honestly think that the main reason why she did is because of me prying.

So, I just want to offer a blanket apology to any model that I may have been doing this to and not realizing it. I honestly respect each of yours decision not to tell anyone where you live, and can completely understand why, I mean if I was in the same situation as a model I wouldn't want anyone to know where I lived either, in fear of stalkers, etc. If Amber, or enough people who post here wish that I leave the forums for what I've done, I can completely understand, I'm pretty ashamed at myself for what I've done. I just honestly do not want to cause any more trouble than what I've already done.

 

[BodyOfATeen]

It's members like yourself that are the reason models are so selective of where they choose to disclose where they live. I am not sure what you expected to gain from searching them out but behavior like this is what makes us view members like you as being (STALKER-ISH)! I hope every model that reads this BANS you permanently from their room, I know that is what I am going to be doing after leaving this message - There are models here that have had members find them and looked for them also and tormented the poor girls so that they had to live in fear and even resort to filing cyber and personal restraining orders. I have had a few members that have told me very randomly that because of the types of jobs they have for SECURITY that they have access to track IP's and find locations of where mostly anybody lives, had one guy already admit to finding a model friend of mine which completely pissed her off and had her resort to banning him forever from room then he tells me that he tried to do this with me as well but that I did an excellent job of keeping myself hidden! Thank God because its members like you that we have to resort to doing it that way!!!

 

[nerdguy]

It's members like yourself that are the reason models are so selective of where they choose to disclose where they live. I am not sure what you expected to gain from searching them out but behavior like this is what makes us view members like you as being (STALKER-ISH)! I hope every model that reads this BANS you permanently from their room, I know that is what I am going to be doing after leaving this message - There are models here that have had members find them and looked for them also and tormented the poor girls so that they had to live in fear and even resort to filing cyber and personal restraining orders. I have had a few members that have told me very randomly that because of the types of jobs they have for SECURITY that they have access to track IP's and find locations of where mostly anybody lives, had one guy already admit to finding a model friend of mine which completely pissed her off and had her resort to banning him forever from room then he tells me that he tried to do this with me as well but that I did an excellent job of keeping myself hidden! Thank God because its members like you that we have to resort to doing it that way!!!

Well, I'm no hacker or anything, it was just derived from talking in general chat.

 

[Jupiter551]

It's members like yourself that are the reason models are so selective of where they choose to disclose where they live. I am not sure what you expected to gain from searching them out but behavior like this is what makes us view members like you as being (STALKER-ISH)! I hope every model that reads this BANS you permanently from their room, I know that is what I am going to be doing after leaving this message - There are models here that have had members find them and looked for them also and tormented the poor girls so that they had to live in fear and even resort to filing cyber and personal restraining orders. I have had a few members that have told me very randomly that because of the types of jobs they have for SECURITY that they have access to track IP's and find locations of where mostly anybody lives, had one guy already admit to finding a model friend of mine which completely pissed her off and had her resort to banning him forever from room then he tells me that he tried to do this with me as well but that I did an excellent job of keeping myself hidden! Thank God because its members like you that we have to resort to doing it that way!!!

BOAT that's pretty harsh, Nerdguy said he was doing it inadvertently and gave no indication he was attempting to stalk anyone.

Kudos to him issuing an apology so publicly and attempting to change his behaviour.

There is also absolutely NOTHING (in my opinion) about stating what city or state you're in. How the fk is someone going to find your full name and address etc based on knowing what you look like and that you live in (for example) new york state? You can't determine an IP of someone unless you're directly connected to them somehow - IM, visiting their webpage, etc. Even then, IPs are often proxies - my IP states a nearby suburb where I guess my internet company has an exchange or whatever. Additionally, if anyone were to attempt to track you painstakingly with all these methods as it's part of their job to be able to do so, it would be far easier for you in return to inform admin who have the member's contact details on file and anyone who has access to priveliged personal info as part of their job will get fired quick-smart if they're found to be using it for personal reasons.

I bet you regardless give out your address and phone number to various businesses, government departments etc all the time - are you concerned they might stalk you too?

I understand the concern over stalkers, but don't overreact and don't blame nerdguy for asking girls "where are you from?". Suggesting all models should ban him is just ridiculous and overly harsh.

 

[Zoomer]

Wait, what? You asked "where you frm bb?" and get this response? Or am I missing something here

 

[SatanJonez]

Wait, what? You asked "where you frm bb?" and get this response? Or am I missing something here

Unless BoaT was one of these chicks nerdguy is apologizing to, I have to second this feeling of complete confusion.

 

[Chamaeleon]

There is also absolutely NOTHING (in my opinion) about stating what city or state you're in. How the fk is someone going to find your full name and address etc based on knowing what you look like and that you live in (for example) new york state? You can't determine an IP of someone unless you're directly connected to them somehow - IM, visiting their webpage, etc. Even then, IPs are often proxies - my IP states a nearby suburb where I guess my internet company has an exchange or whatever. Additionally, if anyone were to attempt to track you painstakingly with all these methods as it's part of their job to be able to do so, it would be far easier for you in return to inform admin who have the member's contact details on file and anyone who has access to priveliged personal info as part of their job will get fired quick-smart if they're found to be using it for personal reasons.

I bet you regardless give out your address and phone number to various businesses, government departments etc all the time - are you concerned they might stalk you too?

I understand the concern over stalkers, but don't overreact and don't blame nerdguy for asking girls "where are you from?". Suggesting all models should ban him is just ridiculous and overly harsh.

Ok, I'm now ready for someone to put a big "S" branding on my forehead for stalker-ish. But this example makes me wish that every model would be very careful.

One+ years ago, I was in a model's room and she mentioned how being a cam model wasn't her only job, which is not that uncommon. However, on another day, I saw something posted on her apartment wall that caught my attention. It was a business name. Thinking about this, I wondered if she could be that careless.

I Googled it. I found the business name, address and phone number with just a search of the business name. I found the website. The website told me the owners names and she was the primary owner. Using Google street view, I saw that the address was an apartment. The business was run from home.

So, now I had her real name, address, phone, occupation and a picture of her apartment building.

What did I do? I sent her a MFC email and from the perspective of being like a concerned brother, told her. I also told her that I would NEVER tell anyone this information, but that I would recommend being careful and taking down what I had seen in her apartment. I have been faithful to that promise.

So ladies, please be careful of what you say and what is in the background of your room. It isn't that difficult to go from an alias, to a twitter, to a facebook, to finding morsels that eventually disclose more than what you want to disclose. :twocents-02cents:

 

[NaomiRose]

Well, I personally want to thank Nerdguy for being so brave as to issue a public apology... To be totally honest, I am NOT one of these girls, although he frequents my room. I am actually quite unaware as to where this is coming from! Lol. You've never come off as 'stalker-ish' or prying to me. You've always been a pleasure to have in my room and I hope you continue to visit.

I thanked Jupiter551 for his post because I agree with everything he said, so I won't bother reiterating it.

I will, however, take this moment to state how silly I think the fear of stalkers really is. I believe in being safe... But for reals... get ova youselves... If someone wants to find out where you live, who you really are, and torment you... They are going to find a way no matter what you do. Be smart, don't advertise your own personal business on your wall, don't give out your full real name... But I would suggest focusing on being a kind, happy, hopeful, optimistic and fearless person... Versus obsessing about some random person stalking you. And for god sakes, if it bothers you that a stranger can see you naked (meaning you might eventually meet someone who has already seen you naked), change your job.

That is all.

to you nerdguy and please don't be shy to come around. I'm sorry to see you got attacked for being honest and issuing an apology, it's most unfortunate. (The kind of man who will write a post like his are the kind of man we do want in our rooms ladies and we should encourage this sort of behaviour in people, rather than shit all over them for it.)

 

[JerMajesty]

Props to ya for manning up and admitting your mistake...


Anyways this topic makes me sort of want to start an apology thread for some reason... :lol:

 

[Dazza235]

I honestly think that I owe some of you ladies an apology. Completely without realizing what I was doing, I was prying of where some of you all live.

You didn't realise you were asking models where they lived?

One model has me unconditionally banned, and I honestly should have learned my lesson, but I didn't.

You still didn't twig that perhaps it was none of your business, in spite of being previously banned by another model?

I was in a different model's room the other night and she said that I had made her feel uncomfortable because this wasn't the first time I had, which I honestly hadn't remembered. I apologized to her in the room, but then it unfortunately became the chat topic, which really didn't help anything.

I'm pretty sure I was in that room and while you might not have thought it helped you, I think it might at least have caused some other members to realise that perhaps they should think twice before asking irrelevant, intrusive questions to other models. It also seemed to help the model get back on track.

I just got a mfc mail this morning from that model telling me that she 's temporarlily banning me from her room for it, and other things. I honestly think that the main reason why she did is because of me prying.

You think the main reason was repeatedly prying? You mean you're still not sure? Do you have any idea what the other things are? (And no, I don't want to hear what you think they were, I just want to know if you are even aware of what they might be. If you don't know, read some of your chat archives and wonder if other things might be inappropriate and add them to the list of things not to discuss).

So, I just want to offer a blanket apology to any model that I may have been doing this to and not realizing it. I honestly respect each of yours decision not to tell anyone where you live, and can completely understand why, I mean if I was in the same situation as a model I wouldn't want anyone to know where I lived either, in fear of stalkers, etc.

If you honestly respect their decision, why did you ask any of them, ever? If you understand why, then why ask again and again? I understand feeling curious, but if you understand why they don't want to share that information then why ask it at all?

If Amber, or enough people who post here wish that I leave the forums for what I've done, I can completely understand, I'm pretty ashamed at myself for what I've done. I just honestly do not want to cause any more trouble than what I've already done.

Look, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you've just been making conversation in the same kinds of ways you (or I, or most of us) would do when we meet people in the real world, but MFC isn't the real world. It's a socially interactive environment, but it's not like normal, non-workplace social encounters.

If you're struggling for things to say to a model, read her profile, find an area of common interest and ask about that. Or ask about the music playing or join in the chat as it carries on around you.

If you really understand why models have a right to privacy, then respect their right.

Points for standing up and admitting you made a mistake, but no amount of apologies make up for continuing to do the wrong thing when you yourself acknowledge it's the wrong thing to do, particularly when, by your own admission, you've done it before.

You do seem ok from what I've noticed on these forums and on MFC, but try to define some boundaries and stay inside them.

If you learn from past mistakes, you'll have less to beat yourself up over later on.

 

[Jupiter551]

Unless BoaT was one of these chicks nerdguy is apologizing to, I have to second this feeling of complete confusion.

I giggle every time we call her Boat btw :lol:

 

[nerdguy]

Wait, what? You asked "where you frm bb?" and get this response? Or am I missing something here

Unless BoaT was one of these chicks nerdguy is apologizing to, I have to second this feeling of complete confusion.

She wasn't, I don't even think I've ever visited her room before, at least I know not to know.

 

[AmberCutie]

Nerd I think your issue is that you speak before thinking many times, and also don't realize how some of your comments, questions and thoughts come through in a cam girl's chat room. Clearly MFC is a place you utilize to socialize with people, and you forget that the room you're socializing in is a girl's workplace as well. While being social in her room is welcomed, the topics discussed can sometimes be distracting or annoying. Try to think ahead of yourself if what you're about to say/contribute in a room discussion will cause any distraction or discomfort to the model or those who are tipping for her entertainment and company.

Member rooms have actually been a wonderful addition to MFC, in my opinion. If there's a handful of people you are having a very off-topic conversation with, consider creating a room to continue the discussion as not to continue to be a distraction to the model and her "paying customers" (I hate to word it like that but will do so here for point-making purposes.) And for pete's sake, don't advertise it IN the model's room that you want people to join you there... PM them. If they don't accept your PM or don't follow you to the room, take the hint.

 

[NickT]

Models should assume that every member is trying as hard as possible to find out where they live and act accordingly. NerdGuy isn't the only member on MFC interested in learning more about you.

 

[AlexiaRose]

Models should assume that every member is trying as hard as possible to find out where they live and act accordingly. NerdGuy isn't the only member on MFC interested in learning more about you.

..mm no?

I think we really need to be cautious about any personal info but I dont think we need to assume that everyone is a crazy stalker.
Not saying Nerdguy is since ive never seen him before but at least I think hes gonna be more careful about what he says and asks now.

Most of the members realise that MFC is not a dating site ( I hope so ) but a place where cam girls works
We usually have no intention of meeting anyone, date or have sex with any of you.
Virtual casual fun and teasing is really nice, but I can imagine guys going to a bar or a restaurant and thinking about getting some personal info on the bartender or the waitress to go home that night and find where she lives and stalk her, and not thinking there is something really wrong with it. Same thing for camgirls, its our work, when we log off we have our personal life, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, children, pets, mom, school, other job, whatever.

How would you feel is some clients, customers, anyone job related were telling you they know where you live, whats your phone number, the name of your SO or child.. this wouldnt be normal.. and its not for us either..

*again excuse bad english and grammar

 

[Sevrin]

Models should assume that every member is trying as hard as possible to find out where they live and act accordingly. NerdGuy isn't the only member on MFC interested in learning more about you.

..mm no?

Actually, Nick is correct. Models don't know who is on the other side of the keyboard when they chat with members. Predators, especially psychopaths, can be extremely charming. Keep your end professional and be aware than some members may take note of anything you do or say and may try to use it to track you down.

Models don't need to "worry" about every member's intentions. But they need to keep a proper distance with everyone. It is not unheard of for models to appreciate a sympathetic ear and spill her heart out to a member, just like members can do with models. That can be a mutually comforting for both member and model, but you never know when a member you have taken into your confidence may take offense at something you do or say and turn against you.

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned
Congreve

 

[AlexiaRose]

Models should assume that every member is trying as hard as possible to find out where they live and act accordingly. NerdGuy isn't the only member on MFC interested in learning more about you.

..mm no?

Actually, Nick is correct. Models don't know who is on the other side of the keyboard when they chat with members. Predators, especially psychopaths, can be extremely charming.

Yes youre both right, but as in life,
when people go outside, shopping, working, or anything else, there are psycho out there too, and theyll be as charming as on the internet.

And I was thinking about something, yes camgirls need to play safe, but what about members,
lots of members give easily their states, names, phone numbers. There are psycho members yes, but what im pretty sure there are psycho models too no?

 

[Keithy]

I would be concerned more about people going crazy at home than online.
Why? Well when you obsess over someone online and do through hours of research finding them followed by hundreds of miles of travel, it can be calming and seems pointless by the time you're ready to actually do something. At home all you have to do is see someone and start following them. The crazy people being referred to here are probably less of a threat than the people that have no clue what you do online but like smelling your hair while you're not looking.

 

[AlexiaRose]

The crazy people being referred to here are probably less of a threat than the people that have no clue what you do online but like smelling your hair while you're not looking.

I know this is creepy but I lol'd

 

[Jupiter551]

I've only known Nerdguy from his posts on the forums so it's hard to judge...but all this talk of crazy, dangerous stalkers seems quite ..well...crazy.

As I said earlier, we all give out our personal info on a daily basis to companies, government departments, let tradesmen into our houses to fix things - any of these people would seem to me to be a more credible threat to your privacy than anyone on the internet.

When I worked for the commonwealth government here in Australia I had access to a great deal of info about people - name, address, phone number, photograph, tax file number, scanned copies of birth certificates, place of work etc. I would occasionally run into the files of family and friends.

I remember one day a file came across my desk of a young woman who I'd been friends with a couple of years earlier and who I'd lost touch with. There'd been chemistry between us, and yeah...anyway I would have been interested in seeing her again and as far as I know she'd be happy to hear from me. I had right there her phone number, address, etc. I thought about contacting her (and telling her how I got her number), but despite that I think she would have liked hearing from me I just had no right to use her information for my own personal satisfaction. So I passed her file on to a colleague.

I'm sure there are plenty out there who would have contacted someone in that situation, whether the contact was wanted or not.

The point I'm trying to make I guess, is that beautiful women attract stalkerish guys; on the net or in the real world (and both), I doubt I know a single somewhat attractive female who hasn't had a slightly stalkerish experience at one time or another. That's not defending stalking behaviour, it's just pointing out that it's hardly an MFC or internet phenomenon.

 

[Zoomer]

He asked a question - it's not invasion of privacy to ask a question. It's invasion of privacy to try and find the answer when it's not given
It's easy - "No".

Topic over.
If it's persistent badgering - then do whatever But just asking a question, all this? "BAN HIM FROM EVERY ROOM" :lol:

That's crazy.

Again, this is assuming there's more than has been stated, or I've not misread - hence why I asked.

 

[QueenMeadow]

Unless the conversation went like this ::

Nerd:hey there sexy young thang
Model: zup gangsta?
Nerd: chillaxin at home, you?
Model: masturbating like a horny monkey.
Nerd: Where you from sweetcheeks?
Model: My fantasy land.
Nerd:hahah no ,really?
Model: That was my cute way of saying I am not going to tell you.
Nerd: you can trust meeeeee
Model: I'd rather not tell you
Nerd: tellll meeeeee
Nerd: please
Nerd: pretty please with a virgen on top
Model: no
Nerd: bitch face hobo. Tell me now, so that I know where to send my rabid flying ferrets.
Model: no
Nerd: bitch.


I think Boat is overly harsh.
I ask where people are located too. Its a conversational piece, and if they don't want to answer, then fine.

 

[Lord_Latex]

I ask where people are located too. Its a conversational piece, and if they don't want to answer, then fine.

I rarely ask about location if it's not listed in their profile, not that important to me, but if I do ask I word it so they can give a very general answer if they choose. Something along the lines, "What part of the planet do you call home?"

 

[Keithy]

Unless the conversation went like this ::

Nerd:hey there sexy young thang
Model: zup gangsta?
Nerd: chillaxin at home, you?
Model: masturbating like a horny monkey.
Nerd: Where you from sweetcheeks?
Model: My fantasy land.
Nerd:hahah no ,really?
Model: That was my cute way of saying I am not going to tell you.
Nerd: you can trust meeeeee
Model: I'd rather not tell you
Nerd: tellll meeeeee
Nerd: please
Nerd: pretty please with a virgen on top
Model: no
Nerd: bitch face hobo. Tell me now, so that I know where to send my rabid flying ferrets.
Model: no
Nerd: bitch.


I think Boat is overly harsh.
I ask where people are located too. Its a conversational piece, and if they don't want to answer, then fine.

Even if the conversation went like that saying every model ever should ban him right here and now is STILL an over reaction.

 

[nerdguy]

Unless the conversation went like this ::

Nerd:hey there sexy young thang
Model: zup gangsta?
Nerd: chillaxin at home, you?
Model: masturbating like a horny monkey.
Nerd: Where you from sweetcheeks?
Model: My fantasy land.
Nerd:hahah no ,really?
Model: That was my cute way of saying I am not going to tell you.
Nerd: you can trust meeeeee
Model: I'd rather not tell you
Nerd: tellll meeeeee
Nerd: please
Nerd: pretty please with a virgen on top
Model: no
Nerd: bitch face hobo. Tell me now, so that I know where to send my rabid flying ferrets.
Model: no
Nerd: bitch.


I think Boat is overly harsh.
I ask where people are located too. Its a conversational piece, and if they don't want to answer, then fine.

If I ever did that to a model, I seriously doubt that I would even be posting here, because I would be on the banned list on just about any model's room I've ever stepped into, and most of them kinda frequent here.

though the part about sending my horde of ferrets made me laugh a little

 

[AerynShade]

Nerd: bitch face hobo. Tell me now, so that I know where to send my rabid flying ferrets.
Model: no

Damn, now I want a flying ferret!

 

[Nordling]

Yeah, I think asking "were u frum bb" is rude, within the context of the site, but "no" is the answer and if the person persists and as in the hypothetical example, ban them as an annoyance.

But.

If it was a more subtle series of questions and statements, then it gets creepy and permaban is in order and spread the word. For instance if it was like:

member: is it cold there today?
Model: no, it's moderate.
member: oh, I live in a temperate area too, we have bum-throated nuthatches here, ever see those?
Model: no.
member: Ah, ok. A friend I talk to has yellow-footed weeblings where she lives, you have those?
ETC.

In other word, playing Columbo to get information is creepy. Asking outright is rude but simply annoying.

 

[Jupiter551]

lol yeah asking about the local birdlife...that's pretty creepy

 

[BodyOfATeen]

Sorry Nerdguy for my explosive reaction to your thread. I have had 2 stalkers in my life that required multiple restraining orders, one needed 6 consecutive ones after each year that expired and the other needed a 3 - maybe some models here or women in general have not been stalked or threatened or followed every day to the point that you never felt safe outside or in your own home because of the above two examples, nothing like going to sleep, work, out with friends or family, by yourself or at home and still having multiple phone calls from *67 phone numbers, receiving unmarked packages, emails, instant messages, letters handwritten to you by the person and sent to about 3,000 miles away so that another person could send it back to you to disguise that it was the stalker sending it, breaking the restraining orders and justice system not caring or not enforcing the laws for the very thing you are spending hours of time in the courts to make sure that you may hopefully be safe and that they will take care of the person(s) that do the repetitive stalking. Waiting until the restraining order is just about to end a couple of days before the expiration date and sending you mail and calling you to let you know that they are still there and they are still coming to get you. So yes I am sorry that most of you view me as being hostile or harsh and that I overreacted, if it was you that this happened to I'm sure maybe others may quite possible have reacted slightly differently, but yes props to you that you admitted to doing this, I apologize that I myself did not react at all well to it.

*as far as BOAT goes, that makes me laugh too, everybody calls me that as it was an inadvertant acronym apparently that some member spotted and decided to start referring to me as that for a short cut*

 

[cigar92]

It would be wrong to generate universal fear of MFC customers, and assume that each and everyone is a potential stalker. Whilst it is right to observe caution about your personal details, some small reveal might serve its purpose to encourage loyalty. The MFC model has the control. She can lie about it, if she wants, or simply say that it is not possible. Anyone who persists can then be seen as a potential threat. However the average guy may well only be asking out of curiosity, particularly if the model does outdoor shows.

On stalking generally and harassment. I have some experience of this myself but only as a professional. In my experience it is most likely to occur when the female of the relationship ends it all so abruptly that the guy simply cannot understand it. Perhaps you ladies should maybe learn how to let a guy down gently or give the real reason for the termination.