An article people might find interesting:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...remists-share-one-thing-gender-michael-kimmel
This article is not about Incel, but it seems very relevant to this discussion. It is about violent extremists and how the thing they nearly all share is their gender. It is written by a male who specialises in this area of study, it is not a feminist attack on men. It's an interesting read, basically the low down is talking about how young men become vulnerable to becoming radicalised. The author has found that what is in common is that young men are often brought up with a sense of what it is to be masculine, perhaps a sense of entitlement for that, and then if they do not succeed in that they feel like failures. To then regain this sense of masculinity they will seek out something bigger than them. This could be a racist group, a radical Islamic group, or in the case of incel, a group of fellow men united in a hatred towards everyone who doesn't share their sufferings. I think the article is interesting in terms of highlighting why some people might become radicalized when others don't.
It is interesting how any terror attack committed by someone possibly involved with IS is seen as a terrorist attack, while any terror attack committed by a white person involved in another extremist group is seen as the act of a mad individual. For sure IS as a group has more motivation to try to organise attacks, and they are more likely to claim them, but a lot of these online groups are still people who encourage one another to perform extreme acts out of hatred.
My thoughts on what incel currently seems to be and the types within are similar to my views on a lot of MRA's/red pill followers. The people involved are often people who cannot take responsibility for their own actions, or cannot show empathy for the situations of others. They are often self involved, entitled people. This is incredibly unfortunate as it often makes mockery of real problems men face. We are not talking about a situation where there are nice but less attractive men who aren't getting into relationships. My encounters with anyone who is likely to get involved in either movement have always shown in a very short space of time that it's their personalities which are repulsive to women. It's the people who are shit boyfriends and then when their girlfriend leaves them for someone else they tell every woman they meet how evil women are (and then seem surprised when none of these women want to date them). Or who expect their wives to do everything at home for the children and then bitch when they don't get custody but need to pay child support. Rather than accepting some responsibility and letting go of the anger so they can improve their actions, the anger and resentment increases. Which in turn makes them even less attractive, more set in their ways and basically less likely to get their way. It's basically stubbornness to the point of self harm, where they end up removing themselves so far from societal norms that they cannot fit in. When they want to go back to "traditional values", it's about entrapping a woman who cannot leave because she's financially dependent. I find it hard to have any sympathy for a person who believes they have the right to enslave another person clearly against their wishes for personal gratification.
In terms of what the original term incel seems to be for, those who have ended up celibate for a period of time without wanting to be, I have a lot of sympathy. I would say issues in the modern world which might make this more likely are potentially the amount of time people spend in their homes alone rather than going into opportunities where they could meet partners. If you spend lots of time on camsites or online chat rooms you are tricking yourself into believing you're socialising and are using up that social energy, while at the end of it you're still alone. The focus is often on men who aren't getting sex, but seeing as gender is approximately 50/50, that means that for every single man there's a single woman.
I think for some single people the issue isn't that they don't get out enough but that they have too high standards. Sometimes this means a conventionally below average dude continuously only trying to date conventionally above average attractive women. Sometimes it means a woman having unrealistic expectations of a partner which don't match their own attributes. There's a funny Bo Burnham song about this. These inflated standards could be due to being too influenced by the media. If you're a guy who reads glamour magazines of perfect women you might get an unrealistic idea of what is real. I remember an obese friend of mine who had those sorts of posters all over his walls stating that he did not see why he should "lower his standards" after stating that a pretty woman half his size was "too big". Fortunately he grew out of that phase and has been happily in the same relationship with someone similar in size to him for at least five years. The important point is that he is happy as is she, by not being so choosy on looks he found someone with similar interests. I guess ways which could combat this would be by portraying more realistic standards of beauty in film and TV, something which is gradually starting to happen. But also fighting back on men's movements which focus on female beauty in a negative and entitled manner would help in decreasing those who become radicalized.
Another point to keep in mind is that women's attractions are actually changing. Back in something like the 50s it was hypothesized that women were biologically going to be attracted to wealth and social standing over looks, with men placing more emphasis on youth and beauty. They did find that men and women went for what they hypothesized, but this appears to be cultural rather than biological. This study has been replicated over the years, finding that as women gain financial independence and social standing themselves, their attractions are becoming like men's. So now women covet youth and physical attractiveness on more similar lines to men. I imagine there are plenty of men who don't fit conventional standards of male beauty who are feeling this sting. I don't think it's fair to say it's a "male problem", because it's not. It is becoming an issue men are starting to share though. What I can see being hard is if you are conditioned by your elders your whole life that you don't need to worry so much about looks because so long as you get a job and keep your hair cut you'll be fine, and then when this comes about culture has changed and suddenly you're behind the gym going well groomed men. Girls learn to do make up and wear flattering clothes from a young age. Many men never learn tips on how to dress until they get a decent female friend of girlfriend who'll go shopping with them and help them embrace their own style. There are not huge amounts of guides which offer good style advice for men, while there are shit tons for women. And many dating advice tips I see for men are completely misogynistic aimed towards getting the man sex (often by trickery) rather than about getting involved in healthy relationships.
I don't believe any of this is what creates the sort of anger that comes from current incel types, but it could be factors in making it harder for people to find sexual partners.
I would actually argue that it's easier for an ugly man to win over more attractive women than the other way around. A physically unattractive man really need only build wealth to get women. If he has wealth and has kindness, he'll be seen as father material. Heck, even just kindness without wealth will get an unattractive man laid. So much of a woman's worth in our society is built on looks that ugly women barely get noticed no matter what else they add to their world offerings. Even beautiful women are expected to age out of being worthy of sex in our culture. It's so bizarre to me how often 20 something year old men want to be the victim instead of just getting a job and maybe talking to people with a modicum of care. Life is not that hard.
