In love with a webcam girl

[cheeks]

Hey I need to get this story out of my head, because I can't sleep very well and it bugs me for a while now.

About 8 months ago I met a very special girl on MFC. She's 23 years old and from Romania, I'm 24 and also from Europe.
Before you ask, there is no tokens/money involved in our friendship.
From the start we had nice feelings for each other and within a few days we exchanged Skype accounts and besides talking on MFC, we video chat most of the days.
The need to talk, see and love each other comes from both sides.

We have plenty of fun, but I get more and more feelings for her. She tells me she has feelings for me too but I think a little less then I have now.
This can be nice until you realize we are never gonna see each other in real life.
Even though that's my biggest wish, It's probably not the best thing to do.
One of the reasons is because I think I would only get more feelings for her, and that's gonna hurt.
And I don't want to give her false hope for a real life relationship.

Other than that, I know my real life is more important, so what I mean is it's maybe not the best thing to continue this way.
I'm gonna work more hours, a real girlfriend would be nice etc.
And at this time I can't stop thinking about her all day. And I have this 'down' feeling because I don't know what to do.
I mean loving her brings me to nothing and forgetting her is a pain in the ***.
She's more living in the moment, so I doubt she has problems with it.

I already tried to see her less but after 7 days it failed.

So yea, can someone give some input what to do?

Good night (5am)

 

[Jupiter551]

If she feels the same and you're both in Europe why not go see her and see how things work out? Because she's a cam model? She's a woman first, cam model second, any kind of long distance relationship is a huge gamble but if it's a matter of a couple hundred bucks airfare just do it.

Honestly though, no one can tell you what you should do here, you need to figure that out by yourself.

Btw who is she

 

[SoTxBob]

I agree completely with Jup... Just go see....
What you do need to consider also is, should something develop, who will relocate and also, will you be intimidated if she wanted to continue camming ?
As a side note.. of the girls I know and have spoken with about relationships emanating from camworld, time seems to be the back breaker. The average time frames to meet inline, build trust, have the F2F, and go to the 'move in' relationship part seems to run around 2 years or so.

 

[RedHerby1]

Go for it !!!

About the same age? No existing relations that will be damaged? 8 month skype history? Not money/token based?

So much can be go wrong, but thats life, you will regret this your whole life if you don't act on it.

Just try to see your first real life meeting as a first meeting, as a new start, don't put to much pressure on it by having big thoughts about love, meeting in real life is so different then online.

 

[Red7227]

Well my now ex girl fiend was a Filipino cam model i met while camming. It took two years before a spent $3000,00 to go visit her for a couple weeks. In the end we broke up a couple months later, but seeing her was the most important thing about that relationship. I think we could have kept going for years if we never met, but simply meeting her and getting to know her made the final decision when it came possible.

Seriously, you will learn more about her in 2 weeks of living together than you will in 10 years of skype with her.

 

[Jessi J]

I think you can meet someone online, even while she is camming, and fall in love. But you also have to keep in mind that is is FIRST a job. Flirting, making guys feel special, treating them differently, etc. can all be good ways of working the system so you can get money out of people.

Maybe her feelings are genuine, maybe they are not, maybe she wanted money, maybe she wanted a relationship.

I don't think that falling in love with a camgirl and her falling in love with you are out of the realms of possibility, but the best thing to do would be talk to her. If a relationship is not possible then it is time to take a break from MFC and see if you can work on getting rid of the feelings that you have for her. You can't choose who you love and you can't choose how you feel, but you can choose to let go mentally - if you want.

You HAVE to walk away from her though to do that. I mean if you want to lose the feelings for her, then you NEED to take a break. Tell her how you feel, tell her it is best for you to take some time off from MFC and that later on - if you both want - you can be friends again, but for now maybe it is best that you guys take time off from each other.

This way she isn't being lead on and you can sleep easy. Maybe she will find someone and so will you and everything will be fine.

No one here or anywhere else can give you advice that is better for you than what you choose to do on your own.

 

[RogueWarrior]

OK, I'm going to be blunt.

The way I see it, you've got two choices. One, break it off right now. Stop the skyping, visits to MFC, whatever. Clean break. Move on. Get over it.

Two, get your ass over there to have a face to face. See if it can go anywhere. Be prepared for major disappointment, but do the meet.

If it was me at that age, I would find a way to get there just to see what might happen. Don't waste your time, effort and relative youth dragging out a "relationship" over skype only to have it not work out in 2, 5, 10 years. I know that real relationships can end after a long time also, but there's something tangible connected to it, not just some internet fantasy.

My opinion. Take it as you will.

 

[Shaun__]

And I don't want to give her false hope for a real life relationship.

It does not sound like you like her that much. I think you just have a crush if you are not willing to have a real life relationship.

 

[freeezze]

One or two things occur to me on reading your post. First, the best way to know if you are made for each other is to meet in real life. Only then will you know her better. Cyber love is a real emotion but it is very limited and can lead to exaggerated impressions of what the person is really like in a real life encounter. Once you meet you will know. And there are two possible outcomes; that you return knowing it was all a big mistake, or that there is something upon which to build.

My second point is this. Be very careful of girls on the internet. They know our weaknesses. (I cannot speak for your age group only my own.) They know that we come here because there is nothing substantial in our real lives to stem either loneliness or depression or both, or even something else, perhaps in older men, a mid life crisis. There is nothing more thrilling than having a beautiful 20 something woman say that she has feelings for you, particularly if you are in the older age bracket.

There is one moderately successful Eastern European hostess on MFC ,who shall remain nameless, who,(and this is only my belief based on my own particular experience), makes a lot of money by telling guys that she thinks she has feelings for them. So please be very wary of girls who say they have feelings for you on the internet. It is likely to be only marketing.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Allow me to play devil's advocate...

Are you sure you're in love? Can the connection that true love (whatever the fuck THAT is...) stems from really be forged through a relationship that only exists online?

Could you be confusing the happiness and relative warmth that talking with her brings you, with that which comes from talking with ANYONE who is pretty and fun and critically, shows an interest in you? I mean, do you feel these things for her because she's the only person who CAN make you feel these things, or do you feel these things simply because, right now, she's the only one who DOES make you feel these things? I think what I'm trying (and most likely failing) to get at, is; are you in love with this chick, or are you in love with the way she makes you feel? If it's the latter, then there are probably girls within closer geographical proximity that can make you feel that way and that don't carry any logistical baggage. You might do better to look for them instead of putting all your eggs in this one chick's basket. So to speak.

"I mean loving her brings me to nothing and forgetting her is a pain in the ***."
You may have answered your own question here. If you can see no future with her, then for your own sake, you need to forget her. Even if it IS a pain in the ass. Better a few months of being mentally fed up, than prolonging the inevitable forever more and watching the world (and all the available girls in it) pass you by.

"I already tried to see her less but after 7 days it failed."
It hasn't failed, you just didn't try for long enough

That said, if you ARE in love with her, if SHE has expressed a legitimate interest in YOU, and if you can afford to go see her; stop reading my waffly bollocks this second and go do it, sir!

 

[cheeks]

Thanks for the input all.

If she feels the same and you're both in Europe why not go see her and see how things work out? Because she's a cam model? She's a woman first, cam model second, any kind of long distance relationship is a huge gamble but if it's a matter of a couple hundred bucks airfare just do it.

Honestly though, no one can tell you what you should do here, you need to figure that out by yourself.

yes I would like to meet. On the other hand maybe not. What happens if it's all nice, relocating is just almost impossible for now, and really not what I want.
She’s not very clear about this. She told me she does not want to get in love because she's scared to lose me.
So I don't see meeting happen really. I have the feeling she is seeing this more as an online thing.
And for me It's the question if I want to continue like this.

Btw who is she

I don't think you know her, she's not in the top 100. (nor someone with no people in room or something)

I agree completely with Jup... Just go see....
What you do need to consider also is, should something develop, who will relocate and also, will you be intimidated if she wanted to continue camming ?
As a side note.. of the girls I know and have spoken with about relationships emanating from camworld, time seems to be the back breaker. The average time frames to meet inline, build trust, have the F2F, and go to the 'move in' relationship part seems to run around 2 years or so.

Relocating is something too far ahead but also not really possible.
We have both our lives. Study, work etc.

Well my now ex girl fiend was a Filipino cam model i met while camming. It took two years before a spent $3000,00 to go visit her for a couple weeks. In the end we broke up a couple months later, but seeing her was the most important thing about that relationship. I think we could have kept going for years if we never met, but simply meeting her and getting to know her made the final decision when it came possible.

Seriously, you will learn more about her in 2 weeks of living together than you will in 10 years of skype with her.

Yes I realize that.

I think you can meet someone online, even while she is camming, and fall in love. But you also have to keep in mind that is is FIRST a job. Flirting, making guys feel special, treating them differently, etc. can all be good ways of working the system so you can get money out of people.

Maybe her feelings are genuine, maybe they are not, maybe she wanted money, maybe she wanted a relationship.

I don't think that falling in love with a camgirl and her falling in love with you are out of the realms of possibility, but the best thing to do would be talk to her. If a relationship is not possible then it is time to take a break from MFC and see if you can work on getting rid of the feelings that you have for her. You can't choose who you love and you can't choose how you feel, but you can choose to let go mentally - if you want.

You HAVE to walk away from her though to do that. I mean if you want to lose the feelings for her, then you NEED to take a break. Tell her how you feel, tell her it is best for you to take some time off from MFC and that later on - if you both want - you can be friends again, but for now maybe it is best that you guys take time off from each other.

This way she isn't being lead on and you can sleep easy. Maybe she will find someone and so will you and everything will be fine.

No one here or anywhere else can give you advice that is better for you than what you choose to do on your own.

Yeah It’s difficult. I mean why stop something fun? It’s has two sides.
The best option will be to continue without ‘loving’.

OK, I'm going to be blunt.
A
The way I see it, you've got two choices. One, break it off right now. Stop the skyping, visits to MFC, whatever. Clean break. Move on. Get over it.

Two, get your ass over there to have a face to face. See if it can go anywhere. Be prepared for major disappointment, but do the meet.

If it was me at that age, I would find a way to get there just to see what might happen. Don't waste your time, effort and relative youth dragging out a "relationship" over skype only to have it not work out in 2, 5, 10 years. I know that real relationships can end after a long time also, but there's something tangible connected to it, not just some internet fantasy.

My opinion. Take it as you will.

You have a point.

And I don't want to give her false hope for a real life relationship.

It does not sound like you like her that much. I think you just have a crush if you are not willing to have a real life relationship.

Yes maybe you are right. Fact is it’s still a crush I have to deal with.

My second point is this. Be very careful of girls on the internet. They know our weaknesses. (I cannot speak for your age group only my own.) They know that we come here because there is nothing substantial in our real lives to stem either loneliness or depression or both, or even something else, perhaps in older men, a mid life crisis. There is nothing more thrilling than having a beautiful 20 something woman say that she has feelings for you, particularly if you are in the older age bracket.

There is one moderately successful Eastern European hostess on MFC ,who shall remain nameless, who,(and this is only my belief based on my own particular experience), makes a lot of money by telling guys that she thinks she has feelings for them. So please be very wary of girls who say they have feelings for you on the internet. It is likely to be only marketing.

It’s impossible to see this as marketing.
You don’t quit MFC on a busy night and continue on Skype for hours with one person.
We pay phone bills for calling and texting and we know more about each other than (at least my) friends do.

Allow me to play devil's advocate...

Are you sure you're in love? Can the connection that true love (whatever the fuck THAT is...) stems from really be forged through a relationship that only exists online?

Could you be confusing the happiness and relative warmth that talking with her brings you, with that which comes from talking with ANYONE who is pretty and fun and critically, shows an interest in you? I mean, do you feel these things for her because she's the only person who CAN make you feel these things, or do you feel these things simply because, right now, she's the only one who DOES make you feel these things? I think what I'm trying (and most likely failing) to get at, is; are you in love with this chick, or are you in love with the way she makes you feel? If it's the latter, then there are probably girls within closer geographical proximity that can make you feel that way and that don't carry any logistical baggage. You might do better to look for them instead of putting all your eggs in this one chick's basket. So to speak.

"I mean loving her brings me to nothing and forgetting her is a pain in the ***."
You may have answered your own question here. If you can see no future with her, then for your own sake, you need to forget her. Even if it IS a pain in the ass. Better a few months of being mentally fed up, than prolonging the inevitable forever more and watching the world (and all the available girls in it) pass you by.

"I already tried to see her less but after 7 days it failed."
It hasn't failed, you just didn't try for long enough

That said, if you ARE in love with her, if SHE has expressed a legitimate interest in YOU, and if you can afford to go see her; stop reading my waffly bollocks this second and go do it, sir!

What SHE really wants is just hard to find out. She’s always very honest but you never know.

I appreciate the replies but I just don’t know what to do.
Meeting is out of the question for now.
Maybe I try to see her not so much for a while.
I can’t quit for myself but believe this is not very friendly to her too.

But I’m gonna talk about this with her and who knows what’s gonna happen.

 

[Bocefish]

I appreciate the replies but I just don’t know what to do.
Meeting is out of the question for now.
Maybe I try to see her not so much for a while.
I can’t quit for myself but believe this is not very friendly to her too.

But I’m gonna talk about this with her and who knows what’s gonna happen.

No need to rush things, but if you don't get together in person you will always be wondering what if... If she's on your mind that much and you believe the feeling is mutual, you should FIND A WAY to make it happen.

She may offer to come to you for a meet. If she asks you to send her money for that, I'd be very cautious about doing anything of the sort. :twocents-02cents:

 

[RedHerby1]

Meeting is out of the question for now.

In the name of love and for all lonely members ...

GET ON THE PLANE NOW !

just a weekend, don't talk about love, don't fucking think about sex, just have a dinner together, visit a museum together, walk in the park together and so on.

maybe it is just confirming friendship, or maybe maybe its the start of something more ... maybe its the end ...

 

[Jupiter551]

Yeah, unless you're in jail, you're a couple hours flight away wherever you are in Europe - it can't be that hard to find a free weekend.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Meeting is out of the question for now.

In the name of love and for all lonely members ...

GET ON THE PLANE NOW !

just a weekend, don't talk about love, don't fucking think about sex, just have a dinner together, visit a museum together, walk in the park together and so on.

maybe it is just confirming friendship, or maybe maybe its the start of something more ... maybe its the end ...

 

[AmberCutie]

"Love" for a cam girl can often just be "addiction" in disguise. If it's not something that's going to go somewhere for you and you only want that, I'd suggest breaking off the contact and trying to get over the addiction as soon as possible. People don't realize it, but sometimes having so much time and attention taken up by someone prevents us from finding something or someone better. You've got to free up your time and emotional ties in order to find what you're actually looking for.

 

[Mfcwatchdog]

yes I would like to meet. On the other hand maybe not. What happens if it's all nice, relocating is just almost impossible for now, and really not what I want.
She’s not very clear about this. She told me she does not want to get in love because she's scared to lose me.
So I don't see meeting happen really. I have the feeling she is seeing this more as an online thing.
And for me It's the question if I want to continue like this.

She says she is scared to lose youThis tells me she is not in love but sees the contact between you two as a good friendship.For your own personal emotional health i would follow Ambers advice and break of the contact.But talk to her about it say how you feel and do not let her push you to stay....

This is going to hurt that is normal but what do you prefer a couple of months with a broken heart or a WHOLE life chasing a chick you can't have?.

 

[cheeks]

Ye I'm gonna talk and think about that. :icon-cry:

 

[RedHerby1]

She says she is scared to lose you. This tells me she is not in love but sees the contact between you two as a good friendship..

sure possible, that she is just happy with a normal friendly friend, doing this job, I can understand that a model likes that.

There is also the possibility a she is protecting herself from being hurt. From a model point of view you can have your doubts by having a relation with a man who visits cam sites She invested lots of time, 8 months skype chat, she did not go for money in this period, she aborted cam sessions to be with him in skype.

If he shows his love by visiting her, or showing his trust to give money for a ticket, then maybe she goes a step further.

MY ADVICE IS: STOP THINKING, STOP ASKING ADVICE, GO GO GO, LOOK INTO HER EYES, COME BACK AND THEN YOU CAN THINK AGAIN ABOUT LOVE AND SO.

 

[skiphop90]

I think it's possible to meet someone you love on a camsite. The issue is finding out whether the feelings are mutual. It can be easy to say "I love you" sometimes without thinking about the meaning of what you're saying.

If she feels the same way and you can be certain of that, AND you are genuinely after a real relationship, then go for it. What have you got to lose? Life is all about taking risks.

 

[cheeks]

okay we talked and she's really unclear about this.

I asked if she sees me only as a internet friend or more.
she answered she loves me too much and then she had to go.
today I didn't want to start and it ended up as nothing happened.
I really don't to start the conversation again.

I guess it's a sign to back off a bit and see it as an online friendship.

 

[cheeks]

I was to late to edit so maybe the above post can be deleted.

okay we talked and she's really unclear about this.

I asked if she sees me only as a internet friend or more.
she answered she loves me too much and then she had to go. (for a good reason)
today I didn't want to start and it ended up as nothing happened.

I really don't want to start this topic again and for a reason it says enough to me.
I guess it's a sign to back off a bit and see it as an online friendship.

but maybe this wasn't the best question, see can read it also if I ask if I'm an internet friend or an internet boyfriend.
one last try and ask what she means with "love to much".
The, do you wanna meet question is also possible but also really 'in you're face' since I have no clue what she wants.

 

[Bocefish]

This is getting to sound more and more like grade school and passing notes... Man the fuck up and have an adult conversation with her FFS!

 

[mynameisbob84]

This is getting to sound more and more like grade school and passing notes... Man the fuck up and have an adult conversation with her FFS!

I echo these sentiments but do so in the politest manner possible.

 

[Jupiter551]

Yeah seriously dude, just bite the bullet and politely say to her that you're interested and would be keen to meet up sometime and see what happens, ask if that's something she'd be interested in.

I think if you care about her and want to meet her you need to stop thinking of her as "a camgirl".

Why is it so hard to ask her if she's interested and would like to meet up and see how things work out? Just say it politely and honestly and if she says no then respect her decision and don't make her feel guilty about it. Stop looking for "signs" and trying to guess what she's thinking and just straight up ask her.

 

[LingWoosBunny]

This is getting to sound more and more like grade school and passing notes... Man the fuck up and have an adult conversation with her FFS!

I echo these sentiments but do so in the politest manner possible.

My thoughts exactly . Obviously I don't know where in Europe you two are but with the convenience of its train system and etc I can't see why a meet can't be arranged. Expect the least--- realistically you could just be infatuated with the concept of being with her. Meeting up will either lessen the essence of that romance, or strength it. Keep it light and see it as a vacation with a bit of passionate twist for now?

 

[Swirl]

Don't forget that some of these girls pretend to be in love with the guys hoping for the big payoff. Guys that are in love tend to tip more or give better gifts. They dig deeper into their bank accounts and stretch that credit card balance further than they normally would. She could be carrying on pretend relationships with several guys. I know you will say NO it's Just ME! But, this is still her job so you need to be realistic and consider where she comes from. There is a reason why so many Romanian girls are camgirls. I mean, seems like a pretty big red flag when the girl won't answer your questions directly. She doesn't want closure. So....tell us really. How much have you tipped her?

 

[Jupiter551]

you need to be realistic and consider where she comes from. There is a reason why so many Romanian girls are camgirls

Yeah because there's high unemployment, low average salary compared to the rest of the world, and beautiful women.

Is that what you were getting at? Because some of the biggest hearted women I've met on MFC are Romanian and don't deserve the racist stereotypes they sometimes endure.

 

[StarrieNights]

you need to be realistic and consider where she comes from. There is a reason why so many Romanian girls are camgirls

Yeah because there's high unemployment, low average salary compared to the rest of the world, and beautiful women.

Is that what you were getting at? Because some of the biggest hearted women I've met on MFC are Romanian and don't deserve the racist stereotypes they sometimes endure.

I think this is exactly what Swirl was saying

 

[Swirl]

Hey, cheeks here has posted a question on a forum because he wants some advice about what to do. When you are trying to make a decision, it's important to consider all possibilities. I'm suggesting there is a possibilty that a model is pretending to be in love because she needs money. I'm not saying all Romanians are doing this and I'm also not trying to perpetuate a stereotype either. I'm sure models from every country employ this strategy to make money and I honestly don't have a problem with it. It's a job and it shouldn't be personal. You can still do your job well and have a big heart and be a great person. Nice girls need money too.