I stopped tipping camgirls to save money, now they are getting desperate!

[Phoenix4987]

@TemporarilyWhining

Yes.

 

[Dan Epstein]

This thread is eternal....

 

[justjoinedtopost]

You realize... this has been the same shit that has been said since women dared to show an elbow in public, right? Before that, even. At least in certain cultures, sexuality and sexual expression has been super restricted to mechanical baby making until recent decades.

I hope more people are naked, proud, and confident, and I hope that you realize your great grandma probably would've been sending nudes with filters and duck face if she had the chance to.

That sounds like a regurgitation of silly dogma to me. Virtually everything you just said is rooted in a cherry-picked version of the past, save the following bit...

I hope more people are naked, proud, and confident

I have no problem with someone being naked and proud, but let's not pretend like that is some great accomplishment in the grand scheme of things. Furthermore, my accusation of hedonism-run-amuck is not solely limited to nudity, or to the female gender.

http://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-43197018
I don't know who I am more disgusted by; Bela Shah for reporting on such drivel for the BBC, the first fop who is discussed in the article, or me for passing it along.

Also, I noticed you used the word "super". That is newspeak for "deep down inside, I know I am exaggerating".

 

[Starman]

That sounds like a regurgitation of silly dogma to me. Virtually everything you just said is rooted in a cherry-picked version of the past.

And Happy Women's Day to you! In the US women have had the right to vote for less than 100 years? In the UK a hundred years for women over age 30, 1928 for women 21 and over. Women in the US and Europe were only allowed to own property beginning in the 19th century. So, historically, most women being considered nothing more than baby-makers/mothers/property is well established.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

I don't call anyone 'daddy' though.

Wanted to post this yesterday but then I forgot. A thought that I got. I might be wrong but I believe wanting to be called "daddy" it's pretty much a US thing/ sort of kink because among all the languages I'm familiar with and I can think of it's definitely unusual, even for what we refer to as "dirty talk". I just don't find any equivalent with this particular nuance, so to speak, in french, german, english, italian or spanish. It's really unusual. Ofc I might be wrong, I'm not a kink expert nor a linguist so people here who are more expert than me, both in kink and languages, will definitely know better than me. Just a thought that I got, but, I repeat, I might be wrong.

 

[AmberCutie]

spanish

"Aye, Papi".

I am pretty sure it's a thing in Spanish too.

 

[Mila_]

"Aye, Papi".

I am pretty sure it's a thing in Spanish too.

In Latinamerica there is "papi" and "mami" but the use of it is not kink-related as "daddy" is in the US. It is more a term of endearment that couples use to refer to each other, I guess it's like "baby" in english. You call your SO "baby" but it's not because you have a diaper fetish.

We don't have "papi" and "mami" like that in Spain. We use something similar to "honey" here.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

"Aye, Papi".

Yeah actually i was thinking about it. But I think its much more a latin-american thing. Don't know if its really common in Spain, we should ask Spanish models.

 

[AmberCutie]

Yeah actually i was thinking about it. But I think its much more a latin-american thing. Don't know if its really common in Spain, we should ask Spanish models.

I was just recalling my Mexican boyfriend back in HS liking the whole papi thing. His family was from Mexico but he was born in the US so maybe he doesn't count lol.

 

[Dan Epstein]

Yeah, we don´t use Papi, at least not when I lived in Madrid. and it´s okay to say ¨Coger un taxi¨!

 

[Fatquack]

As a European non-native English speaker I find that whole "daddy" thing very weird and slightly creepy. I can't think of any Western-European language or country where it's equivalent is used.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

And Happy Women's Day to you! In the US women have had the right to vote for less than 100 years? In the UK a hundred years for women over age 30, 1928 for women 21 and over. Women in the US and Europe were only allowed to own property beginning in the 19th century. So, historically, most women being considered nothing more than baby-makers/mothers/property is well established.

Sexuality and sexual expression limited to mechanical baby making. This is what I suspect is an exaggeration, largely based on some old black and white photos, letters, and a diary from the 1930s. Was sort of surprising, considering how my culture's past had been presented to me.

You are dragging voting/property rights from the 19th century into it. Wasn't really what I was talking about.

If you really want to talk about people not having rights, or having their freedom to express their sexuality curtailed, or being treated as property/forced into marriage, there is no need to run hide 100+ years in the past. Plenty of all that going on in the here and now. It is well established.

Also, hate to nitpick, but I just have to make a small objection to your wording here: "being considered nothing more than baby-makers/mothers/property". Sort of diminishes the critical role the baby-makers/mothers have played.

Spoiler

 

[Starman]

Sexuality and sexual expression limited to mechanical baby making. This is what I suspect is an exaggeration, largely based on some old black and white photos, letters, and a diary from the 1930s. Was sort of surprising, considering how my culture's past had been presented to me.

Considering historical sexuality and sexual expression apart from the historical role of women is sort like asking Mrs Lincoln to consider how she liked the play “Our American Cousin” - apart from her husband’s assassination during the performance.

How was your culture’s past presented to you that leads you to suspect this is an exaggeration?

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Don't want to derail the thread, just want to share my experience from a member/user's perspective, which ofc may differ from other members/users experience. As for giving out real name, I think it's all about "boundaries" and it works both ways. Personally, I value my privacy so I never tell my real name. There was a model I used to visit really quite often and that, I guess, made me one of her "regulars" - as you call them.

She asked my real name and I thought, well ok why not, so I told her. Point is, maybe because she liked me, maybe because she liked my name, maybe because she felt like we got particularly along, idk, have no idea. Anyway, she started to call me by my real name not only in private but even in public chat every time. And that made me really, like really, feel uncomfortable. I asked her to stop but she kept doing it regardless. Everytime. She kind of felt entitled to do it, I'd say. .. Needless to say I've quit visiting her. So, end of the story, I believe it's all about boundaries. My 2 cents about it.

I have no issues if a model knows my real name if we've been chatting for a while. Hell, a very select few even have my full name and address. One of my screen name's are very similar to my first name. But, the others I've had which aren't they typically call be by that as it's a very simple screenname. While I don't mind the first name too much, if they say my first name most times I'm even curious if they mean me as it's a fairly common name.

But, yes, it is all about boundaries, and what we're comfortable with.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Considering historical sexuality and sexual expression apart from the historical role of women is sort like asking Mrs Lincoln to consider how she liked the play “Our American Cousin” - apart from her husband’s assassination during the performance.

You can consider whatever the hell you like, but if you are just on a mission to handpick a bundle of grievances and shroud yourself in past sufferings that you had NO part in, you can at least try and make it interesting.

And you can conflate to your heart's content; but if you lack the ability to realize that a quickie in a corn field and walking up to a ballot box represent two distinctly different human activities, then I will be genuinely surprised if it turns out you have a valid point to make.

How was your culture’s past presented to you that leads you to suspect this is an exaggeration?

It was presented to me as a time when sexuality and sexual expression was limited to the confines of a monogamous marriage.

Spoiler

 

[Starman]

You can consider whatever the hell you like, but if you are just on a mission to handpick a bundle of grievances and shroud yourself in past sufferings that you had NO part in, you can at least try and make it interesting.

And you can conflate to your heart's content; but if you lack the ability to realize that a quickie in a corn field and walking up to a ballot box represent two distinctly different human activities, then I will be genuinely surprised if it turns out you have a valid point to make.

It was presented to me as a time when sexuality and sexual expression was limited to the confines of a monogamous marriage.

​

You've said repeatedly that I'm misdescribing how women were seen in the past. How about you describe it accurately for us?

 

[HollyHockens]

Gotta be honest. This post made me SUPER mad. Like good for you for addressing your problem, and that first girl sounds upright shady, like I’m not gonna even talk about her.

But asside from that, it looks like you‘re playing victim here.... I don’t think you should jump to the assumption that she’s moved into a bigger place because of YOU. You don’t know her living conditions previously or much about her personal life. Oh but hey, your life is own your movie. As long as you’re suffering, that must mean she can’t be too irl, right?

I also don’t see anything wrong with offering a transaction, or even being subtle about it. If you think it’s annoying she’s persisiting and dropping hints, YOU NEED TO TELL HER. Be direct with what you want, make your life easier - it will make her life a ton easier. And if she stops talking to you all together for it, then move on. She’s got a business to handle, she doesn’t have time for freeloaders.

If you want a connection with someone, but don’t want to pay for it, then maybe don’t invest in camgirls. Try dating apps instead. I get you had an addiction, but it’s no one else’s fault, but your own. You’re a grown man. Take responsibility like you did today, and seek help, while paying back your debt. Sorry if this is mean, but I’ve never not been a hard arse about addiction. Just don’t be shining a bad light on us, because our intentions and our profession is pretty fucking clear.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

You've said repeatedly that I'm misdescribing how women were seen in the past.

Have I?

I don't think you are describing much of anything tbh; sounds more like a tired regurgitation of silly dogma based on a cherry picked version of the past to me.

How about you describe it accurately for us?

How women were seen by whom?
And in which part of the past?

Are we going to go clear back to the rule of Neferusobek, and try to sort out truth from narrative right up to the present day?

Will we heap praise upon Queen Mary I for enforcing the speech laws of her time, or will we deem her a monster?

When we get to 1865, are we going to focus our speculations on the oppression of Mary Lincoln, and ignore her husband sitting there next to her with his head blown off? Will we ignore characters like Boston Corbett, a man who was apparently so distressed by the temptations presented by the whores of his day that he self-castrated?

I grew up steeped in narratives of Christian persecution, Jewish suffering, and racial oppression. Sobbing that you weren't allowed to vote for Clay in 1832 is entirely unimpressive to me. While perhaps unfortunate and unjust, it certainly does NOT mean that your sexuality and sexual expression were limited to "mechanical baby making"; truth be told, a far more limiting factor would have to be that you didn't even exist back then.

And if we are going to wonder about such things, I would hope that we would be motivated by more than an apparent desire to paint anyone with a vagina with such a broad brush in a simplistic attempt to hide exaggerations behind an incontestable veil of victimhood.

Spoiler

 

[MDouble00]

That is all I have to add at this time

 

[Cal_blue]

MFC accepts gift cards. Thats a tad safer lol

 

[Guy]

I get more guys wanting to hook up than trying to establish an emotional connection. It's extremely rare with SM. More like a revolving door of anons.



Must we start with this cliche? Seriously every time a member who's been banned from tons of rooms...they say this. I mean it makes the person saying it look that way whether they're right or not.



I believe both you and AudriTwo are right here. Thing is it depends on the model and how she runs things. A model who works short hours will likely be more fantasy than a model who works for a TON of hours. I work 5 hours a day 5 days out of the week (that's only live cam, not recording and such). I'm not gonna bother to fake much if anything. I'm too old and tired for that noise.



Agreed. I mean a member shouldn't get head over heels. They should know to try and think logically, but let's face it; we're all human. *shrug



Plenty of occupations have folks ripping people off. Plenty of models don't rip off. There's no reason to claim everyone needs to be demonized. Like you said, members and any customer everywhere should simply remember the phrase buyer beware. The internet mainly is for fantasy anyway. People who aren't webcam models constantly only put out their more confident, nicer acting, better looking self online. Let's face it, trolls aren't likely gonna even bother to act like they do online without it being horribly detrimental to their lives anyway. Anonymity feels powerful and all that.

What do you mean by "emotional connection"?

 

[Ann_Sulu]

What do you mean by "emotional connection"?

Basically I get more guys wanting to pay for a night rather than a relationship (be it friendship or more).

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Basically I get more guys wanting to pay for a night rather than a relationship (be it friendship or more).

I'm sure it's because most of them are already in one...

 

[goldmouthbitch]

tl;dr -- I spent too much money on camgirls and stopped my addiction but camgirls are still crazy (and I love them for it)



Introduction

Oh where to begin? I've been into watching camgirls since at least 2012. Started with MFC and eventually moved onto Chaturbate as well. At first, it was very minimal, but over time I was spending too much. The past two years saw the most, where I'd easily put myself $10,000-$20,000 in credit card debt for tipping camgirls too much. There were times in one sitting, I'd be spending close to $900 on tips alone for their OhMiBods or whatever else they had going on.

After identifying my own issue and addiction, I put a stop to it and the girls are going crazy. After all, to them, this was huge for their rent money and other expenses. To me, I was going broke.... and for what reason? Because a girl online was getting naked and/or flirting with me? Because I wanted to jerk off? For real, it was absurd. No idea how I'll get out of debt now but it will take years or bankruptcy to do so.

Most of the camgirls from the United States, don't really seem to care I stopped tipping them but the trend that I noticed was that the ones overseas, do care and start to beg. I have 2 in particular who basically started to "cry" to me once their weekly income from me was not coming in. Oh and it's the typical stories:

(I will not share usernames to protect their identities)

Camgirl #1

Girl from Romania... as I like to call her, Romanian Scamgirl. When she was camming, I'd give her attention and she'd go on about being interested in me, etc. She even asked that I don't spend any money on other camgirls and suggested I should save and not spend money on her, but she was really liking me etc etc.

Eventually, after a few $900 sessions with her OhMiBod, she gave me her Kik so we could chat more. She'd send me pictures of her personal life, and of her, and it was nice. I'd share the same back. She'd get upset if I gave other camgirls attention, most likely because she wanted the money for herself. But we joked about me saving to support her when I'd marry her. I was in contact with her for about 3 months and playing on cam with her for that same time.

She took it a step further and even gave me her real name, which I was shocked about. She kept telling me throughout this entire time she was single and her now ex-bf cheated on her so she wanted to meet someone. We even discussed the possibility of me going to Romania to visit. I decided to look her up on Facebook to see what her story was and she had a public profile pop up. What I found, shocked me. She seemed pretty rich and also has herself listed in a relationship with some guy in Romania.

I immediately questioned her about this, telling her that her profile is public and she really should set it to private because people can find her or her bf easily. I was pretty sure she was talking to other guys this same way too, so figured a good heads up would help her. She insisted that there was no bf. 5 minutes later, her profile AND her bf's Facebook profile were private. Hmmm.

I slowly stopped tipping her after that and was focused on other girls. She'd see my tips on Chaturbate and immediately my Kik would pop up. I'd get the usual sob story, at times asking to send her money outside of Chaturbate: "I need money for rent", "I can't afford my tuition", "My mom is going to get kicked out of her apt, can you help?", "I have a medical emergency", "My grandmother is dying and we can't afford her funeral" and my favorite of all "How can you give other girls money? Can you please send me Western Union? I have no food and can't eat!"

Anyway, I'm pretty sure she is lying at this point so stopped contacting. She has not been camming since then. Money saved in my pocket, or so I thought, until I gave it to other camgirls instead.

Camgirl #2

One of my favorite camgirls, who I really was following and helping out for a year and a half. She too, was from another country (Czech Republic) and at first, I took it easy with her. But over time, there'd be a lot of sessions with her as well that would see me tipping her in excess of 10,000 tokens in one sitting (do the math on either MFC or Chaturbate). In addition to that, I'd buy her Amazon Gift cards... some up to $200 for her birthday or Christmas.

I'd get lots of nice PMs from her, lots of flirty compliments, etc. She'd legit get excited when I got into her room because nobody else was tipping her like I was... and she's far from ugly. She's actually one of the hottest camgirls on the site but does not have a following.

We eventually exchanged e-mails and started to chat through there. Then, I started to notice a trend. She'd only email me when she was online and was having a slow day. Clearly, she was looking for tokens and money to help her live. She never really complained about bills and such, and told me that one of my generous tip sessions actually was donated to help some of the children of the village she was in to help them out. I thought that was sweet.

But something did not sit right with me. In the time I've been watching her, I've seen her move into a larger place. Clearly, she was not hurting. Identifying my own issue of spending as much as I did on this girl, I went cold turkey and stopped tipping her. That's when it started....

"I am so sad, I only made 16 tokens in 4 hours camming", "I miss you so much", "I feel like I can trust you", "I don't have money for classes", "I want to start a business but don't have the funds", "I might have to stop camming and get a real job"... she never directly asked me for money but kept hinting that she needed it (meanwhile, I'm struggling myself now).

Admittedly, I've popped into her room a few times and she immediately PMs me with more or less the same and about how slow it is and how hard it is to make money on the site. She even offered to send me tokens back so I could tip her large amounts for her OhMiBod because she just liked and missed the feeling, but didn't know how to do so. Needless to say, I have not caved in.

Conclusion

It does baffle me how some girls are just balling in this industry. For example, I'm sitting her watching UniversitySmiles on Chaturbate and for a couple of hours now, she's made bank and can't figure out WHY people are tipping her. Like, what's the draw? And how are people affording giving so much money to a girl who seems to already be making tons of money? I'd rather see them spend it on girls who don't have a large following.

Anyway, not my problem, but wanted to share my stories in case someone in similar scenarios can use advice or see that they are not the only ones who suffered from this addiction. Bottom line is, 99% chance you are giving the girl online money to help her out and will never meet her in person (and a good percentage are prob making money for them and their bfs). So keep this in mind, that your basically paying for someone else to live and for your own personal entertainment as well.

Seeing the money I've been saving by not tipping camgirls, has been huge. While I understand this is a profession for most and how they make a living, I need to look out for myself too. I've made nice online "friends" with these girls and some other users in their rooms. Ultimately, it's a good decision for myself and I wish I recognized this years ago.

Some of these girls in other countries are not working in the lap of luxury like most of the girls here in the us and a good amount in the uk. theres a good chance you were these girls livelihood. Wouldn't you be desperate to secure and maintain the sole or at least near sole source of your total income? (im assuming they were not just camming as a side job, but even if then....anyone would try and preserve this source of income ) If your recount is accurate it does sound like you were led on to some extent, which is not ok, but it also sounds like you lost fell too into the whole "fantasy" aspect of the member-cam model relationship and became disoriented as to where the line between reality and fantasy was.

these girls arent just hanging out on mfc with a bunch of horny men that are usually much older than them instead of spending time with their friends and loved ones just for funsies. This is a job, Personally i believe the best models are the ones who play the role of a sweet girl who may be interested in the member. But I also think and hope its understood both ways that this is just play. Models playing this role is different than models leading members on to milk them dry and break their heart however.

and Im not sure why you tip, but i tip because its fun to give pretty girls gifts. I get satisfaction especially if they are surprised and ecstatic upon receiving something unexpected from me. So a model making good money and being blessed by success doesnt make that any less fun for me.

 

[HollyHockens]

I'm sure it's because most of them are already in one...

uuuuhhhhhh wut???

 

[Guy]

I'm sure it's because most of them are already in one...

How do you know that? http://www.newsweek.com/americans-are-more-single-ever-new-study-shows-682290

 

[Deleted member 37064]

How do you know that? http://www.newsweek.com/americans-are-more-single-ever-new-study-shows-682290

It was a bit of sarcasm.

 

[Cal_blue]

How do you know that? http://www.newsweek.com/americans-are-more-single-ever-new-study-shows-682290

more tax dollars for govt to feed off of individuals who live alone

 

[Guy]

Basically I get more guys wanting to pay for a night rather than a relationship (be it friendship or more).

When im on Streamate, im the only one in the room who is having a conversation with the model. Everyone else is just making sexual comments or asking about what fetishes she does.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

@Guy That's exactly how it usually is. The ones hoping for a meetup usually try to ask once in paid chat though I've seen it plenty of times in free chat as well. Keep in mind that there's invisible chat too. Most members type there.