I know, another one of *those* guys/threads

[BlurryFace]

Okay, so I have seen many posts here and elsewhere about this subject but can't relate to the pictures painted within, so want to gain a couple of direct opinions myself. Yes, it's another about camgirl/client feelings. Sorry!

I will try not to over explain the unnecessary and instead stick to why I'm unsure and key points, thanks for any help offered.

So, first I'm not the most confident of people and very introverted. Throughout life I have struggled to form relationships (both platonic and not) because I struggle to believe people have any interest in being around me. There are reasons for this that I don't need to go into, but I mention it as my problem is that I have none of this usual self doubt with the girl I want to talk about.

I entered the cam world under no illusions of reality, I was not looking for a girlfriend/feelings and would have gone elsewhere if I was. I have had a site login for a while but didn't interact much, even if tipping as it's just not natural for me to do so. Then I found the room of a new (a few weeks in) cam girl and went in. She initiated chat and things just rolled very comfortably so I took her private, etc, etc.

I enjoyed the show and the chat so I followed her room and knew I'd go back, but everything was still normal - she's a girl doing her job, I'm a client paying for the work. I returned whenever I saw she was on and more or less didn't go into other rooms, but still well aware that I am a client and nothing more.

So, where does the line shift and/or the confusion set in? Here's the main points:

I had never asked or even hinted at it, but she gave me her number to chat off site. We frequently text via this method with the only major pauses being when one of us is asleep (different timezones) or we're chatting on the site.

After doing a little cam 2 cam in our first private session, she frequently asks to see me on camera. Both during private sessions and just when I'm in the main room. She has also requested this via quick video call off site.

She has been very forward in telling me that she is quickly developing feelings for me.

She recently asked me on the site to not give for tokens as she feels bad that I've already given as many as I have (I believe there may be 1 or 2 guys who've done at least a similar level if not more but definitely more in 1 day).

There are other small things such as her playing a lot more of my musical taste in her room since I mentioned what it is too.


So, to summarise: new cam girl has told me that she has feelings for me and there are signs this could be true. I am naive with relationships and have heard a lot of people say you can't trust something like this to be true. I have no reason to doubt her other than these stories, but I can't help but ask myself if I'm being an idiot and falling for someone doing their job well.

So, am I an idiot?

Thanks for reading and any help offered.

 

[Deleted member 57885]

Relationship advice is always going to vary in quality person to person, but here is what I think based on what you wrote...
It sounds like things are moving very fast. I haven't seen something here outright that makes me think "you're being played, run" but I honestly think it may be too early to tell one way or another, so I'd advise caution. It hasn't turned into one of the horror stories yet, but all it takes is a "and then I found out x, y, and z were lies after I traveled to her country and got left in the cold" to turn it into one. Granted, I'm a reader on a forum seeing this from your point of view in the 'sparknotes' version, so it's tough to tell something so nuanced like this. I have some reasons to keep caution:

1. Sometimes, the hotter the flame, the faster it burns out. Things may be great now, but it sounds like it hasn't been too long. Sometimes, people seem great matches only since they don't really know each other too well yet and they fill in the details with what they like. I'd advise to make sure y'all know each other well before proceeding.
2. Even if you or you both don't notice it, the financial tie between the two of you can play a part in the emotions. This is the biggest issue I think. Even if you talk offline in 'unpaid time', you are still tipping her. I'd advise caution here. The way this works out ultimately is that...
   • You and her come to an understanding on this somehow, and you stop tipping. (Granted, considering you're probably a big source of her income, I don't know how this works out logistically for her, so this would be something you two would have to discuss.)
   • She retires at some point, but you keep in contact with her still. This is bad for her in the sense of being out of a job, but from a relationship standpoint, I think this gives the highest chance of success, since it means you wouldn't have the outright option to tip her.
3. You mentioned struggling with low self-confidence / struggling with relationships. This doesn't mean you can't form meaningful relationships of course, but it does mean you could end up looking at this situation with rose-tinted glasses a little more due to it, aka you meet someone you find attractive, she gives you attention, she fills the voids you had/were craving. This is going to give you a sort of crush-bias on the situation, since I can surmise that you want this to be real/true... so sometimes the brain tries to stretch words/truths to make it so.
4. You two are in different timezones. This is me being skeptical (as is tbh needed here), but a thing to realize is that you may be in a nice rich country. She may be in a poor and/or struggling area. You didn't mention areas, so I'm not entirely certain. Regardless, it's not unheard of to have a "mail-order bride" type dealios. Even IF you take out the tipping aspect and the lust, you still have this to consider. It could be a hidden financial motivation, regardless of whether you two are thinking of it actively or not.

My viewpoints summarized:

1. Do I think that relationships can happen between members / models? Yes, I actually do, but successful ones are very rare. There are all sorts of factors revolving around money and lust at hand here, so I think that if a relationship has any chance to succeed between member/model, those two items have to be dealt with first.
2. Do I think you're being played? Based on what I've read, there isn't something that outright screams as red flags, but everything instead screams 'yellow flags', aka take caution... especially if it's moving as fast as it seems to be.

 

[BlurryFace]

Thanks for the response. Just to clarify on a couple of things you mentioned:

We both are aware that things are quite early days and there has been no discussion of moving or even meeting at this stage. I think we're both quite in shock at having made the connection at all, but even more so through the site. She is also aware that I have a couple of complications in regards to either of us relocating, it's not impossibilities but certainly things that would not make it quick.

She's already expressed discomfort at me tipping on a couple of occasions, the last of which she asked me to stop for a while. I have actually pushed more toward continuing for a bit as she is a new model and still building herself so I didn't want to take her time on site without her getting paid. She is quite the independent girl in general.

Without going into depth, the general relationship issues I mentioned actually have the opposite effect to what you mentioned. A good example of the usual situation is with my most recent partner, who I struggled to accept loved me and confess and similar feelings despite her being pretty forward with intent and giving no *real* reason to doubt. I struggled to say I love you to my ex and have had to actively stop myself with the girl I'm speaking to now. My brain is not following the usual path and it's not from the sexual stimulation as that doesn't usually stop it even when there is 100% physical stimulation.

I don't distrust the girl I'm talking to, I'm just very cautious due to things others have posted.

 

[AudriTwo]

i apologize. i lost my clairvoyance at the age of 7, so i cannot tell you what is going on in her head.

how about you ask her how she really feels about you and share with her your insecurities about her possibly playing you because of other stories you have read on the internet of cammodels loveconning. if she asked you to stop tipping. then stop, and see what happens next. also stop visiting her on cam entirely. if you have her contact info, use that.

 

[Makko]

I don't think, her telling to stop tipping, is an indication of her feelings being true. I had a cammodel tell me to tip her less. But we both didn't have any feelings for eachother. Several things are possible:
1) She's feeling guilty of you overspendng
2) She may fear that if you spend too much, you will expect more from her than she can give (Do things not on her tipmenu/spend more time with you than other members/stay online longer/offsite contact etc)
3) That some day you may regret spending so much and need/want to leave her
4) It really is a lovecon system where she wants you to think it's really about feelings and not about money

Having a crush on her is not a bad thing, just enjoy your stay with her and leave it at that.
And always realize this can never be a thing, because of location, age difference, culture, family, her cammodel work, etc.

 

[tokensarentforkids]

I've already given as many as I have (I believe there may be 1 or 2 guys who've done at least a similar level if not more but definitely more in 1 day).

sounds like pretty normal treatment of a high tipper, except the "developing feelings", but if she is Eastern European...ask yourself what it would mean if Putin said it

 

[CheeseMoon]

I don't distrust the girl I'm talking to, I'm just very cautious due to things others have posted.

Almost everything you wrote in your first post sounds oddly familiar. In my (not that many) years on camsites I've had WhatsApp numbers suddenly thrown at me for no particular reason. It's flattering when a complete stranger actively wants to friend you, but in two of the around half a dozen occasions it turned out to be just a way to reel me in and solicit offsite money transactions long term. When I tried to say my goodbyes the drama started, so I simply ghosted them everywhere. I don't do anything offsite anymore. Nobody owes anyone anything on cam sites.

Maybe I have it easier than you since I'm usually at least twice as old as most cam models and wouldn't want to meet them to begin with. I'm 50+ and culturally creepy enough as it is.

It's okay to have a crush on cam models since after all the brain, heart and dick is connected in mysterious ways, but I think you should engage your inner cynic here and learn to say NO.

 

[BlurryFace]

i apologize. i lost my clairvoyance at the age of 7, so i cannot tell you what is going on in her head.

Sorry if I come across expecting people here to be able to give me all the answers, that's not the case. I was just hoping to run the story by people who've been around people of all sorts in the industry and could tell me if I'm just being stupid, rather than be definitive in regards to her feelings.

Maybe it was a mistake to post, I'm just knocked a little sideways as I never expected to be in this situation.

I don't think, her telling to stop tipping, is an indication of her feelings being true. I had a cammodel tell me to tip her less. But we both didn't have any feelings for eachother. Several things are possible:
1) She's feeling guilty of you overspendng
2) She may fear that if you spend too much, you will expect more from her than she can give (Do things not on her tipmenu/spend more time with you than other members/stay online longer/offsite contact etc)
3) That some day you may regret spending so much and need/want to leave her
4) It really is a lovecon system where she wants you to think it's really about feelings and not about money

Having a crush on her is not a bad thing, just enjoy your stay with her and leave it at that.
And always realize this can never be a thing, because of location, age difference, culture, family, her cammodel work, etc.

Her tipping request is not what is moving my thoughts this way, I referenced it as it happened and responders to questions such as this will often mention tipping as a factor to consider.

1) I do think that she was concerned with me overspending as at least a factor in her saying not to.
2) I doubt this as I am not a demanding tipper at all. My public tips sometimes hit goals, spin her wheel or trigger something from her menu but I don't make requests there. In private sessions I make minor requests but mostly leave her to do as she feels. I never make any request to stay online and have made it clear several times that I don't expect constant contact off-site (I didn't expect any at all until she decided to give her number).
3) I guess this could be the case, only she could say.
4) This is essentially why I'm asking questions. I know cam models want us to return and making us feel wanted is a part of that, I have no issues with that. I'm not one of these guys who would be complaining about being lied to if I found this to be the case. I'm asking because it really feels like more than that from her side when she talks and with some requests. I just wanted to ask the question around experienced people so I could potentially be told that I'm believing more than I should if that seemed to be the case.

Thanks for you opinions and advice.

 

[BlurryFace]

sounds like pretty normal treatment of a high tipper, except the "developing feelings", but if she is Eastern European...ask yourself what it would mean if Putin said it

She's not Eastern European.

Almost everything you wrote in your first post sounds oddly familiar. In my (not that many) years on camsites I've had WhatsApp numbers suddenly thrown at me for no particular reason. It's flattering when a complete stranger actively wants to friend you, but in two of the around half a dozen occasions it turned out to be just a way to reel me in and solicit offsite money transactions long term. When I tried to say my goodbyes the drama started, so I simply ghosted them everywhere. I don't do anything offsite anymore. Nobody owes anyone anything on cam sites.

Maybe I have it easier than you since I'm usually at least twice as old as most cam models and wouldn't want to meet them to begin with. I'm 50+ and culturally creepy enough as it is.

It's okay to have a crush on cam models since after all the brain, heart and dick is connected in mysterious ways, but I think you should engage your inner cynic here and learn to say NO.

Thanks for the advice. I do know nobody owes anything, I literally expected nothing more than to get myself off when visiting the site. Maybe this is part of the reason for me being knocked back by it a bit more.

 

[lotacy]

people have met in the most spontaneous places and have survived 35+ year relationships, and while i agree with most of what everyone said here... i'd limit my brainstorming/dwelling and maybe even abandon the thread entirely... nobody but you and her know what's true and if it's real, so... avoid getting in too deep with opinions and sugestions and trust your gut.

so, i agree do much like what AudriTwo said.. but i'd wanna .... tweak this approach a bit.

how about you ask her how she really feels about you and share with her your insecurities about her possibly playing you because of other stories you have read on the internet of cammodels loveconning. if she asked you to stop tipping. then stop, and see what happens next. also stop visiting her on cam entirely. if you have her contact info, use that.

crossed-out fragments are great advice, just getting them out of the way..

so the next part "share with her...loveconning" = hold up, don't do this without... no.. just.. hear me out. if you do this and it backfires, which it could by causing an instantaneous emotional reaction of disgust that leaves a taste so bitter even knowing your true intentions might not be able to wash this type of taste out.. distrust, doing research on her... if it's a real thing, it's not worth risking it.

now, would someone have some distrust involving themselves in this way... heck yeah, but don't go around basically handing out ultimatums. you're going to have to use your gut's feelings and take it slow enough so that you're not forced into a making a rash decision.

if i were you i'd get her on the phone during a usual 1 on 1 time, nothing else going on.. in an actual voice conversation.. and after a while of some good convo... and there's a break or silence.. or even better you just admitted to a harmless but embarassing situation you were involved in... seeing how she reacts could be a huge tell.. so if and when that moment, or a proper moment is introduced.... that's when you put your sweetest, playful, curious, but matter-of-fact tone of voice to work and use words similar to "huh, you really like me then?" this is a tone from a confident man that isn't nervous or scared or frontin' by being all manly and deep... i think you get the picture, but... see how she reacts... does SHE crack? is there a nervous gulp... you'll have to judge your gut, sir... because once again, you and her are the only two that know for sure!!!

PS this could work on video chat, too, but sometimes the phone is... distraction-less and can help you focus more!

the next 2 parts. i would slow down tipping, and just send little sweet notes with some surprise tips in private.... something that makes her smile.. but isn't overwelming... maybe on a slow/bad day.. make herheart melt and thus reminding her you really do care/like her

next.. don't stop visiting her on camera, just hang out and be buddies, especially if she's new and it's slow... you can tone out the show parts when she;'s doing stuff. .. but make her laugh or do a lil quirky inside joke... this can help test as well... it;s not like.... just don't get in the way of the show and be friends while she works... no big deal, IMO.

okay sir, good luck to you. we fully expect an update in ... a few months?

 

[BlurryFace]

@lotacy Thanks for your reply.

Much of what you said is similar to the route I was heading down, particularly in regards to her room. I tip when there's not many coming through, just chat about normal stuff in PM and leaving her to do her thing for other clients in public and private without interfering, messaging, etc.

The thing you suggest to do on the phone seems like great advice, but I cannot see working for me for two reasons. The first is also one of the major reasons for me asking questions here, social cues, tone changes, etc. are not things I pick up on very easily/naturally so I wouldn't necessarily pick up on what I'd be looking for. There is also a slight language barrier which means extra processing time after some things are said, so immediate responses may not actually about the content of what was said.

I was already considering whether I should even continue this thread, as you suggested. I know that nobody here really knows either of us and therefore has limited real knowledge. My problem is that I tend to analyse and solve most things my life throws up, other than social/relationship parts - I'm generally considered to be a reasonably intelligent person but this is my gaping area of inability.

 

[anabeauty37]

Is very easy to find out if she got feelings for you or shes trying to scam you . Stop spending any money, lets see if she still wanna videocall you and play your favorite music, . she should since she got feelings for you , but if she is notthen you just save your mental health, your wallet and some long posts about how good she was playing you ..I understand that camgirls dont have reasons to videocall noone if they dont get paied becouse thats their jobs some gonna say, then they also should stop with the bulshit that i start to have feelings for you,, if you have feelings then act that way, exited to call him, to see him, so do yourself good and stop spending and see the results .

 

[AudriTwo]

people have met in the most spontaneous places and have survived 35+ year relationships, and while i agree with most of what everyone said here... i'd limit my brainstorming/dwelling and maybe even abandon the thread entirely... nobody but you and her know what's true and if it's real, so... avoid getting in too deep with opinions and sugestions and trust your gut.

so, i agree do much like what AudriTwo said.. but i'd wanna .... tweak this approach a bit.

crossed-out fragments are great advice, just getting them out of the way..

so the next part "share with her...loveconning" = hold up, don't do this without... no.. just.. hear me out. if you do this and it backfires, which it could by causing an instantaneous emotional reaction of disgust that leaves a taste so bitter even knowing your true intentions might not be able to wash this type of taste out.. distrust, doing research on her... if it's a real thing, it's not worth risking it.

now, would someone have some distrust involving themselves in this way... heck yeah, but don't go around basically handing out ultimatums. you're going to have to use your gut's feelings and take it slow enough so that you're not forced into a making a rash decision.

if i were you i'd get her on the phone during a usual 1 on 1 time, nothing else going on.. in an actual voice conversation.. and after a while of some good convo... and there's a break or silence.. or even better you just admitted to a harmless but embarassing situation you were involved in... seeing how she reacts could be a huge tell.. so if and when that moment, or a proper moment is introduced.... that's when you put your sweetest, playful, curious, but matter-of-fact tone of voice to work and use words similar to "huh, you really like me then?" this is a tone from a confident man that isn't nervous or scared or frontin' by being all manly and deep... i think you get the picture, but... see how she reacts... does SHE crack? is there a nervous gulp... you'll have to judge your gut, sir... because once again, you and her are the only two that know for sure!!!

PS this could work on video chat, too, but sometimes the phone is... distraction-less and can help you focus more!

the next 2 parts. i would slow down tipping, and just send little sweet notes with some surprise tips in private.... something that makes her smile.. but isn't overwelming... maybe on a slow/bad day.. make herheart melt and thus reminding her you really do care/like her

next.. don't stop visiting her on camera, just hang out and be buddies, especially if she's new and it's slow... you can tone out the show parts when she;'s doing stuff. .. but make her laugh or do a lil quirky inside joke... this can help test as well... it;s not like.... just don't get in the way of the show and be friends while she works... no big deal, IMO.

okay sir, good luck to you. we fully expect an update in ... a few months?

Honesty is always the best policy. In relationships it's best to be upfront about your fears. Hes not accusing her of loveconning if he share his insecurities, and if it blows up, then she probably was doing that. That's what you do in relationships, if you are insecure about something, you talk with your partner about it.

And yes he should stop tipping entirely. She said it's making her uncomfortable and all successful relationships that started on cam, members stopped tipping entirely. That's what the few models who have gotten in successful relationships with members on this forum advise.

You don't give your girlfriend money for attention. Stop visiting her on cam because that's her job. You don't go bug your partner or crush at work when they should be focusing on their customers. That's a huge distraction. if its not a lovecon, the model won't have an issue. She already has OPs contact info and they can easily talk or video chat without a camsite.

If she is new, shes going to have to figure out that members come and go, and not to rely on one member to do the tipping or attention. She's gotta figure out how to sink or float.

 

[MarieElise]

In my first 2 weeks of camming, I developed a boundary-crossing "thing" with a member. It never worked out, in the slightest, but I thought I had true genuine feelings for the guy. I still to some extent, think that I did. But it became quickly apparent that neither of us could truly provide what the other needed, despite there being a strong sexual attraction. That was actually the only one of those that I've ever truly developed my whole 6 years of camming.

Anyways the reason I am sharing this is that, I wanna highlight that during the first few weeks, heck even months, the freedom that camming can provide can be really adrenalin-inducing and intoxicating for some people. The intense levels of communication and interest from such a huge number of men, can also be rather intense and severely stress-inducing for some people. It would be easy for a new model going through such a rollercoaster of experiences, to get really carried away or alternately extremely freaked out.

Like everyone else said, see what happens when you stop spending money, and give her some time to settle down before you take anything she might say too seriously.

 

[BlurryFace]

In my first 2 weeks of camming, I developed a boundary-crossing "thing" with a member. It never worked out, in the slightest, but I thought I had true genuine feelings for the guy. I still to some extent, think that I did. But it became quickly apparent that neither of us could truly provide what the other needed, despite there being a strong sexual attraction.

Thanks for sharing this, it is an interesting and potentially relevant perspective.



Thanks to all responders. I will try to follow relevant advice and see what happens.

 

[lotacy]

Honesty is always the best policy. In relationships it's best to be upfront about your fears. Hes not accusing her of loveconning if he share his insecurities, and if it blows up, then she probably was doing that. That's what you do in relationships, if you are insecure about something, you talk with your partner about it.

And yes he should stop tipping entirely. She said it's making her uncomfortable and all successful relationships that started on cam, members stopped tipping entirely. That's what the few models who have gotten in successful relationships with members on this forum advise.

You don't give your girlfriend money for attention. Stop visiting her on cam because that's her job. You don't go bug your partner or crush at work when they should be focusing on their customers. That's a huge distraction. if its not a lovecon, the model won't have an issue. She already has OPs contact info and they can easily talk or video chat without a camsite.

If she is new, shes going to have to figure out that members come and go, and not to rely on one member to do the tipping or attention. She's gotta figure out how to sink or float.

Fair points. Really was not implying going down to an office and following around like a loon, or anything, more along the lines of you liking the bartender or the waitress at a restaurant.. might go there have a couple beers, shoot some pool, and get to see her a couple times, smile, quick passing by chat... and say it's slow for a bit, maybe she'll sit down for a few minutes.. and take a breather...

Also i think it's important to view both sides here because quite frankly something like this CAN be taken the wrong way especially if approached haphazardly and/or with a certain tone or insinuation. seeing these viewpoints helps broaden the perspective and let's not forget after 2020 now 2021 have been some of the worst years in people's lives... you never know what people have been through, and it they've latched on to someone.. and that's all they have... we can speculate all day long, but the bottom line is exactly like i said a couple times earlier... the only two that know are the two involved.

---

Not saying anyone necessarily is... but since i'm new around here, please know... I'm not here to argue for the sake of arguing or to purposely rile people up, and hope i never do upset anyone, that was not and will never be my intentions here or anywhere really. Also I didn't realize until after my initial reply and comments that this was the cam-model thread, not sure if there would be any issue surrounding that, but i did feel a little "eek" moment as i had given the tweaks to an actual cam-model's comment and was hoping wouldn't be construed as push-back!

So AudriTwo, and everyone here, I just want to say that ya'lls insight is bar-to-none unbeatable, you can't get a better viewpoint into this world you are involved in, and because of that and a few other things i have been super impressed with this community as a whole.

Now some of ya'll have been camming for a really long time and there is no doubt at ALL that your judge of character is heightened from so many years of random personalities in the chats.. i could absolutely imagine the nightmares.. but anyways... In camming, or any other profession, people are not going to remember necessarily what life was like before their career or every single detail that occurred their first week, unless maybe they're an alien or something, but i HOPE that having non-cammer feedback is indeed welcome in these types of posts, and certainly enjoy the unique opportunity to be involved here, growing and learning in ya'lls forum home. <- my adopted personality btw

 

[lotacy]

@lotacy Thanks for your reply.

Much of what you said is similar to the route I was heading down, particularly in regards to her room. I tip when there's not many coming through, just chat about normal stuff in PM and leaving her to do her thing for other clients in public and private without interfering, messaging, etc.

The thing you suggest to do on the phone seems like great advice, but I cannot see working for me for two reasons. The first is also one of the major reasons for me asking questions here, social cues, tone changes, etc. are not things I pick up on very easily/naturally so I wouldn't necessarily pick up on what I'd be looking for. There is also a slight language barrier which means extra processing time after some things are said, so immediate responses may not actually about the content of what was said.

I was already considering whether I should even continue this thread, as you suggested. I know that nobody here really knows either of us and therefore has limited real knowledge. My problem is that I tend to analyse and solve most things my life throws up, other than social/relationship parts - I'm generally considered to be a reasonably intelligent person but this is my gaping area of inability.

Hey! Yessir,

I got the gist from your initial post and even the title that you pretty much knew what you wanted to do, and you could get the opinions and advice from 1,000,000 different people and you still wouldn't have an answer. That's why i said that the way i did this morning. You seem smart, intelligent, lacking social cues or not, go make a smart and intelligent decision using what you can use!

 

[BlurryFace]

Hey! Yessir,

I got the gist from your initial post and even the title that you pretty much knew what you wanted to do, and you could get the opinions and advice from 1,000,000 different people and you still wouldn't have an answer. That's why i said that the way i did this morning. You seem smart, intelligent, lacking social cues or not, go make a smart and intelligent decision using what you can use!

You're right, I did know what my preferred route was, but I wouldn't have ignored if enough people were to tell me it's the same old story and I'm an idiot for taking it as anything more than fantasy.

Most have said it's not easy to know and that's fine for me as I can continue without worrying if I've missed some glaring sign. I massively appreciate everyones participation.

 

[Goblin]

Just out of interest in what ways would you say you connect with each other? is she a similar person to you

 

[AudriTwo]

Not saying anyone necessarily is... but since i'm new around here, please know... I'm not here to argue for the sake of arguing or to purposely rile people up, and hope i never do upset anyone, that was not and will never be my intentions here or anywhere really. Also I didn't realize until after my initial reply and comments that this was the cam-model thread, not sure if there would be any issue surrounding that, but i did feel a little "eek" moment as i had given the tweaks to an actual cam-model's comment and was hoping wouldn't be construed as push-back!

we get A LOT of these types of threads. all of them have the same advice, stop spending money, visiting on cam and see what happens next. most of these threads have the same formula. dude is insecure about the relationship he is developing with a cammodel. is he getting hustled or is the pretty cammodel for real when she says "we should meet". i recommend reading them: https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/in-love-with-a-cam-girl-the-collection-of-threads.36372/

most of these dudes don't really read those threads that amber has stickied and think their situation is special. we don't know the perspective of these cammodels. also we don't know if this bullshit and it's a parasocial relationship. what if this is a made-up scenario? it's the internet, and people do lie. we cammodels deal with members thinking there is something more than there actually is. this week i had a member tell me he notices i change in tone when i speak with him compared to others and started pushing my boundaries on asking for very personal information and tried giving me his phone number. he tips me well, but an inexperienced cammodel might feel pressured to tell the member what he wants to hear to keep him spending. i had to put my foot down and explain the reason my tone changes is because he tips me large amounts into my goldshows. i may of lost him as a customer, but whatever.

there are also studios that train their models to lead on members. make them believe they are in some sort of relationship to keep them spending. they are coached on what to say and how to act. sometimes the studios are the ones doing most of the pming while the model plays face. predatory as it is, its clearly profitable, or they wont do it. its why you see camsites advertising on dating sites.

 

[lotacy]

? it's the internet, and people do lie. we ca

lmfao! so true, tho. thank you for this and your detailed response!

i have noticed about 4 or 5 of these similar threads just clicking around today, you are absolutely right. moving forward i will keep that in mind when i come across posts and try to act instinctively.

It's easy for me to bounce through here keeping an open-mind and remain optimistic, but ii'll adhere that to the line of work i am (usually) in, where one has to 100% be prepared for the absolute worse and when whichever inevitable event occurs stay cool, calm, and collected to see it through. That makes the normal day to day operations pretty easy to spot the good and keep positive "at least it's not X today!". on the internet side of things i've been "online" since around 1996. still innocent and naive I eventually discovered "IRC", boy, how different life would have been... heh. moving through the years (still on IRC) has certainly fine-honed my text-based character and people accessing skills as well. . not so much the same as what you all might have, but not so much different, either!

once again - thank you, seriously, for your responses and explanations into the roads leading to them. i appreciate that a lot and have a much better insight toward your responses now.

-l

P.S. This doesn't change my outlook or opinion over (OPs) handling, not that it would matter if it did, anyways, you got this OP!

 

[BlurryFace]

Just out of interest in what ways would you say you connect with each other? is she a similar person to you

In various likes, thoughts and attractions. A mix of superficial and more important topics really.

Is she similar to me? I wouldn't say so, we have things in common but different experiences and motivations.

If you're wondering whether she's just mirroring things I've said so that we seem to connect, then that would also be a confirmed no, as quite a few shared interests were actually revealed as interests by her first!

 

[BlurryFace]

i recommend reading them: https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/in-love-with-a-cam-girl-the-collection-of-threads.36372/

most of these dudes don't really read those threads that amber has stickied and think their situation is special.

I must admit that I must have read past that particular thread, but had read a number of questions and/or stories about camgirl/client relationships. The only reason I made my own is that so many I read are asking the question because they seem to be picking up on some kind of doubt or hesitation in things, whereas I am not from the situation itself. It probably doesn't seem very different still to many of you, but that reasoning along with my life-time naivety in forming relations made it difficult for me to fully relate to the other threads I'd read.

I get it though, that's why I titled the way I did - I know most would rather all of these threads just went away. I just saw a forum uniquely experienced and overall seemingly quite helpful, so thought it might help ease my mind or flag a warning I had missed.

 

[AudriTwo]

I must admit that I must have read past that particular thread, but had read a number of questions and/or stories about camgirl/client relationships. The only reason I made my own is that so many I read are asking the question because they seem to be picking up on some kind of doubt or hesitation in things, whereas I am not from the situation itself. It probably doesn't seem very different still to many of you, but that reasoning along with my life-time naivety in forming relations made it difficult for me to fully relate to the other threads I'd read.

I get it though, that's why I titled the way I did - I know most would rather all of these threads just went away. I just saw a forum uniquely experienced and overall seemingly quite helpful, so thought it might help ease my mind or flag a warning I had missed.

you should read them. there might not be something that you aren't telling us or something you dont think is a red flag that someone else discussed in one of those listed threads.

 

[uzhvecher]

Almost everything you wrote in your first post sounds oddly familiar. In my (not that many) years on camsites I've had WhatsApp numbers suddenly thrown at me for no particular reason. It's flattering when a complete stranger actively wants to friend you, but in two of the around half a dozen occasions it turned out to be just a way to reel me in and solicit offsite money transactions long term. When I tried to say my goodbyes the drama started, so I simply ghosted them everywhere. I don't do anything offsite anymore. Nobody owes anyone anything on cam sites.

Maybe I have it easier than you since I'm usually at least twice as old as most cam models and wouldn't want to meet them to begin with. I'm 50+ and culturally creepy enough as it is.

It's okay to have a crush on cam models since after all the brain, heart and dick is connected in mysterious ways, but I think you should engage your inner cynic here and learn to say NO.

I don't mean to hijack this thread but you're 50+ and therefore creepy? If the only factor that qualifies you as creepy is your age, then the system for determining creepiness is inherently fucked. Our culture decides when we all should become sexually relevant-- 18-- for obvious reasons. It shouldn't have any say when we become irrelevant. Or if it does have a say, it should have no bearing on what you, the subject, decides to do in the course of fulfilling needs you've been fulfilling for over thirty years, provided you do it with other consenting adults.

And anyway, terms like 'dirty old man' are in part redundant; we're all dirty.

 

[CheeseMoon]

I don't mean to hijack this thread but you're 50+ and therefore creepy? If the only factor that qualifies you as creepy is your age, then the system for determining creepiness is inherently fucked.

It is how it is. As a 50+ not-quite-white guy I have to be a little bit careful about how I am perceived. It's sometimes just too easy to be shoehorned into some stereotype and dismissed. I am not complaining and I'm not considering myself a victim of anything and I certainly have no need for sympathy, but there's definitely no lack of sour comments on "white middle aged male" and the like in real life, despite my physical appearance. On cam sites nobody cares.

My point is that when you reach a certain age you just turn into this generic, distant object with some factory installed attributes. It's just a bit weird when you're a 20 year old horny bastard inside