I have a small problem...

[LuvlyJubbley]

Hello. I am dating a cam girl. We have known each other for a long time but started dating a few months back. I have always known that she was a cam girl and had no problem with it. When we started dating we both made sacrifices to try and make a relationship work. She does not do public shows and rarely gets naked. I like that she did that for me. But recently she has been doing very well at work and is sometimes the most popular room on her site and gets a lot of tips for videos she made a while ago. She has not broken her promises to me and i appreciate that, but im still feeling uncomfortable. I support her with her job and i am grateful she has made sacrifices for me. But i still cant help feeling uncomfortable with the whole thing.

What do i do? do i mention it to her or do i just shut up and get on with it? im scared that if i mention it to her she will get annoyed. we both love each other and have plans to move in together so i want this to work. thank you.

 

[KamikaziKitty]

Hello. I am dating a cam girl. We have known each other for a long time but started dating a few months back. I have always known that she was a cam girl and had no problem with it. When we started dating we both made sacrifices to try and make a relationship work. She does not do public shows and rarely gets naked. I like that she did that for me. But recently she has been doing very well at work and is sometimes the most popular room on her site and gets a lot of tips for videos she made a while ago. She has not broken her promises to me and i appreciate that, but im still feeling uncomfortable. I support her with her job and i am grateful she has made sacrifices for me. But i still cant help feeling uncomfortable with the whole thing.

What do i do? do i mention it to her or do i just shut up and get on with it? im scared that if i mention it to her she will get annoyed. we both love each other and have plans to move in together so i want this to work. thank you.

First I want you to look at how much money she is able to make per hour/month. Then think about other job options open to her at this time and phase in her life. Is she going to school, have obligations to children, other family (financially), etc? What would your combined household expenses be? etc. You have to look at it from all angles.

Reality, if you love her, you will let it go. She's already made compromises and considering what you posted there aren't really any more compromises she can made without completely killing her income. She is working up the ranks on her site (i.e. huge promotion in camgirl world) and you coming to her with this is basically telling her "I don't like the fact that you are successful and I want to hold you back because I have jealousy issues" (disclaimer: I am not saying they are jealousy issues, I am not saying you don't want her to be successful, it just tends to be how that line of thinking is perceived from camgirl end of things).

I personally make about $25-$50 an hour. I would never find that anywhere here. Even in my field I start out at approximately twelve dollars an hour which isn't really much at all in comparison and I would have to work hellafied hours in order to make what I already do planning out a month of shows.

Long Story Short: If you can't live with it, now is the time to cut it off. Do not prolong a relationship you know wouldn't work in the long run, thus hurting not only her but yourself by getting too attached.
OR
Suck it up and support her. If she runs raffles or games, help her plan them or implement them, fill out raffle tickets, help her shop for supplies, etc. Just a little support goes a long way to helping you both feel better about everything. Mr. Man often helps me plan out my month, creates graphics, helps come up with contests, etc. It takes some stress off of me and allows him to be part of my success.

 

[marvelb0y]

Anytime I see a question like this, my gut instinct says you don't really have a cam girl problem, you have a relationship problem. First of all, you don't say why you are uncomfortable with her camming job. Is it jealousy or is the job itself against your religious or moral upbringing? If you are the type of guy that gets extremely possessive and can't stand letting your girl be seen naked by anyone, you shouldn't be dating a cam girl to begin with. It's just not going to work in the long term. However, I can tell you from personal experience that if a girl has decided to be loyal to you, she will be loyal to you regardless of what she does at her job. On the other hand, if a girl wants to cheat on you, she will cheat on your regardless of what her job is. You just have to figure out if your discomfort is due to your personality or hers.

 

[charlottecummings]

Do you know what about it exactly bothers you? If you're uncomfortable with her popularity is it possible that you're afraid someone you all know will happen upon her room and find out about what she does? Or is it the stigma of being a camgirl that bothers you about it?

 

[Lanie Love]

Going with what MarvelBoy said, what is it about it that you don't like? Is it the fact that she's talking to other guys? The outfits she wears? That she's making more money? Either way, it's good to figure that out first. Then decifer whether it's worth bringing up the dispute in the first place. As a cam girl, it's super hard to stay focused sometimes when camming and a lot of stress comes with the job, especially when being in a relationship. The second you bring up your problems with her job again, things will be very hard for her and you have to decide if it's even worth it. As cam girls, we can't (or shouldn't) cam, make good money, and have fun when there are problems going on in real life. So what I'm saying is, you have to decide whether you want to be selfish and try to take away this happiness from her of camming, or do you want to be selfish and encourage her to quit? I know I worded it in a biased way, but that's the way I view it and he way she'd probably view it.

Also, ask yourself what you want the end game to be. What is the end game of this conversation you're going have with her? She's going to quit and get a job making minimum wage at a grocery store bored out of her mind? That's no fun! And she won't be happy and will blame you for her unhappiness.

It probably would be more fun if you get involved so you won't feel left out! You can motivate her to get on cam or just ask her how her day went on cam. Let her vent to you. It might be weird or it might be relieving to hear her stories. You never know!

I hope this helps with perspective from a cam girl, hopefully you find some happy medium with the camming.

 

[JaneJupiter]

You're dating a camgirl. If you can't handle it, you have to break up with her. Especially if you're planning on moving in together. Do you want to hear her camming in the other room? Do you want her to have to miss watching a movie with you because she has to go meet a guy online? The way you're talking about this makes me feel like you're going to feel resentful and jealous and start taking it out on her passive aggressively. Sorry for being blunt, I just want you to understand that she was doing this before you met you, it's very lucrative and she enjoys it, and you can't expect her to stop doing it for you, because it's a part of her life. You need to assess your feelings and decide if this is something you can learn to live with or not, and not look down on her for continuing the job she had when you met.
If you do love her so much, if you understand that it isn't fair of you to ask her to cut back working, and if you want to continue the relationship, there are absolutely things you can do to feel better about it. Talking to people on this forum is one thing, talking and *listening* to her about it is another.