I am scared people will recognize me

[DeCathy]

Thank you but in my country it's not 40 $ per hour, it's much less, I would need 50 hours for 300 eur and I must pay rent sooner. I don't know, I'll try at Stripchat again. I have only webcam, maybe that's the problem and I am not conventionally hot or young. I put an advert that I am looking for a loan and some scumbag answered and said he'll give it to me in exchange for sex and I blocked him and he is still calling, he called at 6AM this morning, married man, old, but I am scared anyway because he doesn't know the meaning of a word NO.

Anyway, thank you all. My depression and anxiety led me here and at this point I need a miracle. We'll see.

 

[Lilly_____]

im so sorry that cam wasn't what you thought it would be. i dont know which site you were trying out, but if it's any consolation, a lot of us on sm are experiencing a huge decrease in traffic right now so it's a hard time to start. i know you mentioned cleaning as an option, but housecleaning was my vanilla job before cam and it's awesome. i always enourage all of my friends to do it !! right now where i live housecleaners are charging 40-45 per hour, guaranteed money, make your own schedule, and a standard job is 3 hours. so if you need 300-400 that would only be like 3 houses! i have a spinal injury so i understand the physical limitations but i hope you're able to find something!

This is so impressive to me!! It's definitely something I'd do if conditions were the same here. In my country a cleaner gets around $35 for 8 - yes, eight hours of work!!! It would be so nice if their work was more appreciated.

 

[Cheeky]

Hi I just want to say you are not alone and everything you typed literally described my situation last year ,It's like you took my experience and lived it I also started camming to pay rent ,I also was terrified of people finding out who I am,I went through everything you went through including the $2 you made on your first night (I'm not even exaggerating) and the awful feeling when you realise that after all the deliberation you still didn't make enough money even while taking your clothing off. ..I eventually started selling content on a popular social site simply coz it's faster (Not sure if I can say its name) and also I'm not saying do that.....That being said I'm still definitely interested in caming and I cam every now and then for 30 minutes just so my accounts don't get shut down,I have the worst laptop ,and slow WiFi so I kind of understand why I may not have been so successful. I'm trying to save up for better equipment but bills come up....anyway don't beat yourself up although I know how u feel and it's really depressing I suggest that U think out of the box on ways to succeed,don't give up and trust me you are not the only one going through lows .Hope it gets better for you xx

 

[DeCathy]

Thank you so much. A friend lended me money for rent but now I have that debt to him and I am really scared how I will survive this winter. I also have laptop camera and I know nobody will come to my room when I don't have good equipment but I can't afford anything now, I barely have for food. I will get some publicity soon because of my hobby and it doesn't really make me happy because chances for recognizing are even bigger that way. I didn't give up but it still bugs me that maybe my videos will be all over the internet and I won't make a dime with it. But I must take that risk because I can't afford living with a regular job here.

 

[SensualJade]

Hold on, is camming legal in your country? If it’s legal, you pay taxes then it’s all good!
I think you dramatize a little bit. What if you become viral (which would require lots of hard work to begin with!), filthy rich, people find out and think nothing of it or how hot and talented you are?
And that can sparkle interest to your art when it’s a spicy story around it now.

Definitely between camming or become homeless - camming is a better option.

Exactly! The whole "issue" is really caring what others think. Unless you want to work as a school teacher or something in the future...there really isn't a problem with this job. Oh, a naked woman in her power masturbating and having the confidence to show it online no shame? That's fucking awesome! Look how much power she has! It definitely is a confidence boost. And also, you do have to get creative. Taking your clothes off is actually a small percentage of what this job actually is. It's your charm, personality, being a great conversationalist and it helps to have a psychology and health background because the self care and after care is so needed! To be successful from my personal experience takes a shitload of self-awareness, being grounded and unattached. Just have fun! What's something unique you can bring to the table? I'm telling you these men want therapy, connection, someone to talk to. You are not a porn star technically. Men have told me things they have never told anyone, they talk about their mental and emotional health. It's not really porn, at least not in my books. If you provide a safe space, the right ones will resonate and pay you well!

 

[Sashacurves]

Exactly! The whole "issue" is really caring what others think. Unless you want to work as a school teacher or something in the future...there really isn't a problem with this job. Oh, a naked woman in her power masturbating and having the confidence to show it online no shame? That's fucking awesome! Look how much power she has! It definitely is a confidence boost. And also, you do have to get creative. Taking your clothes off is actually a small percentage of what this job actually is. It's your charm, personality, being a great conversationalist and it helps to have a psychology and health background because the self care and after care is so needed! To be successful from my personal experience takes a shitload of self-awareness, being grounded and unattached. Just have fun! What's something unique you can bring to the table? I'm telling you these men want therapy, connection, someone to talk to. You are not a porn star technically. Men have told me things they have never told anyone, they talk about their mental and emotional health. It's not really porn, at least not in my books. If you provide a safe space, the right ones will resonate and pay you well!

Hands down one of the best things about this job is the feminism and the girl power and seeing so many other strong independent women just smashing it. The real shame about the stigma is that it's viewed by other women (idgaf how men view it) as a degrading, "giving in to the patriarchy" thing to do when the reality is completely the opposite.

 

[SensualJade]

Hands down one of the best things about this job is the feminism and the girl power and seeing so many other strong independent women just smashing it. The real shame about the stigma is that it's viewed by other women (idgaf how men view it) as a degrading, "giving in to the patriarchy" thing to do when the reality is completely the opposite.

Yes! Men seem to be more understanding and appreciative of it. Someone you love is a sex worker. It’s a shame that people think it’s disrespectful when it’s actually having more respect for yourself and is the smart thing to do, especially with inflation! Like I have earned over 300 dollars in 4 hours. Dude. Like…
Don’t get me wrong though it has taken consistency and building an audience. Most people won’t pay you, but your regulars will! And that’s like maybe 5-10% of people who enter your room for the day.

 

[darcyduke]

I used to worry about being recognised all the time, but I've been camming for over 10 years now, and it hasn't happened yet. If you're overly concerned about it, wear a wig or something, but I honestly think the likelihood of being recognised is very low.

 

[SensualJade]

I used to worry about being recognised all the time, but I've been camming for over 10 years now, and it hasn't happened yet. If you're overly concerned about it, wear a wig or something, but I honestly think the likelihood of being recognised is very low.

Do you block your location? I have a few regions blocked just to be safe. According to my research being a cam girl usually does mean getting outed eventually. 10 years wow!! I agree the chances are low, it's just i keep hearing from others that its not a matter of "if" but "when"..? Not that this matters I'm just surprised you've gone this long without being recognized.

 

[Sashacurves]

Do you block your location? I have a few regions blocked just to be safe. According to my research being a cam girl usually does mean getting outed eventually. 10 years wow!! I agree the chances are low, it's just i keep hearing from others that its not a matter of "if" but "when"..? Not that this matters I'm just surprised you've gone this long without being recognized.

I imagine it has a lot to do with what your personal social circle is like. For example, I have a small family and outside of family, I don’t really have any men in my life except a couple of work colleagues. So the number of people who might be using the sites I use are small, meaning someone like me would be less likely to be found out than someone who has a big family and wide social circle, especially if they include men.

I don’t block my location and have never been found from one of my sites (granted it’s only been 1.5 years though). But, I did essentially out myself at one point by linking my onlyfans to a dating app profile in my cam persona’s name. The profile got reported for advertising and two guys I’d dated signed up to my onlyfans. So I guess it also has to do with your advertising strategy!

 

[ArcticKitty]

Sorry to go on a tangent but if I was a model, I wouldn't be upset if people knew it. Anyone whose opinion of me means anything won't care and my motive for doing it is obvious. I'd be embarrassed by someone learning that I go on as a user/viewer, actually!


p.s. I'm an artist myself and fwiw I can say that cam modeling isn't likely to be exposed and far less likely to have any stigma. I'll also add that although I've exhibited and sold since I was a teen, it's not exactly a lucrative occupation and most artists, even accomplished and respected artists do something else to make a living.

 

[Diana_Devil]

Kim Kardashian became famous and done milions due her sex tape

There are also anther singers that publicly said that they did escorting and streaptease to become famous

So i dont really get it why the hell we hide it ?

people will know and judge ... they will judge you anyway even if you dress from head to toes and let nothing to be seen .. people will judge you when you have no food or be homeless anyway ... so what the absolute fucking point to ever care what people think ?!

i dont know how other people think but i better " cry "of shame in and warm apartment , paying my bills while i stuff my stomach , instead of crying outside with an empty stomach and frozen in the snow .

PS : personal experience : when i hitted the bottom and been in absolute shit , all these judging motherfuckers disapeared or said cant do anything for me but they keept repeating they love me or want me good ! guess who was always for me there to help me out : always Camming !

Now you do whatever you want its your decision but , th only person deciding for yourself should be you not the people opinion.

 

[Sashacurves]

I agree with both of you for the most part. It shouldn't be something considered shameful. I personally see it as empowering. Hell, I'm earning more than anyone in my family or circle of friends ever has and I'm proud of it.

But there's no denying that some people will treat you differently/negatively because of it and you can't predict who those people will be. Case in point, one of the guys I mentioned who signed up to my OF: I'd gone on 1 date with him and told him straight afterwards that I wasn't interested and never saw him again. His first message to me on OF some months later was something along the lines of "if I'd known you do this, I would've slept with you on our date". As if all of a sudden, being a sex worker means I'm actually just a sex object and not a person with their own free will.

Also, you're in a position of privilege if you know for a fact that none of the important people in your life would treat you differently if they found out. Lots of models come from more conservative backgrounds. I've wondered back and forwards whether my family would be accepting or not if they found out. I'm inclined to think that they could be supportive if I explained it to them. But that's not a fact, and I'd rather not risk being in the position of having to chose between my job and my family, so I'm happy to maintain my secrecy.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Also, you're in a position of privilege if you know for a fact that none of the important people in your life would treat you differently if they found out.

Right, that's not realistic for a lot of people to risk. Of course the ideal is that everyone we care about has a highly evolved mindset and accepts what we do. But it's silly to act like we are at a point where there is no stigma and it has no potential negative effects. Some folks are not in a place to axe people from their lives over an ethical disagreement. Some folks risk worse repercussions.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Truth. I wasn't thinking about family and you can't choose them or just shrug them off usually. Some other people in one's life as well perhaps.

Selling fentanyl-laced drugs that kill people is clearly bad. So are things that are fully legal that exploit and harm people. People who have a problem with sex work seriously have a different sense of morals than I do.

 

[ArcticKitty]

"if I'd known you do this, I would've slept with you on our date". As if all of a sudden, being a sex worker means I'm actually just a sex object and not a person with their own free will.

That is so shitty. Grrr...

 

[darcyduke]

Do you block your location? I have a few regions blocked just to be safe. According to my research being a cam girl usually does mean getting outed eventually. 10 years wow!! I agree the chances are low, it's just i keep hearing from others that its not a matter of "if" but "when"..? Not that this matters I'm just surprised you've gone this long without being recognized.

Nope. Never blocked my location. Used to be so worried, but it's not happened to me yet... x

 

[Lilly_____]

Right, that's not realistic for a lot of people to risk. Of course the ideal is that everyone we care about has a highly evolved mindset and accepts what we do. But it's silly to act like we are at a point where there is no stigma and it has no potential negative effects. Some folks are not in a place to axe people from their lives over an ethical disagreement. Some folks risk worse repercussions.

Exactly. It's really not that simple. There's family and social circles in the community whom you have to deal with and can't predict what their position is. I'm always as private as can be so no one comes around with their unwanted opinions or worse, punish me or my family for what I do.

 

[Danicatillie]

i see it like if there wasn't any stigma and our work was widely accepted, we wouldn't be paid nearly as much, so i'm fine with the trade off. i used to live very openly but felt like i was constantly justifying why i felt empowered and not victimized by my job and i always had to tell people exactly how much $ i made (which is super not their business)and they would still say beind my back "well i like her but i dont like what she does for a living so i'll just be rude to her". or they think i want to steal their nasty husbands bcz sex worker= uncontrollable sex addict to the narrow minded. i've found very few people actually understand what we do as performers and how we have complete control over our shows. i'd rather just keep it to myself unless i know this person very well and think they can accept the information.

the only annoying part is that my husband family thinks that i dont work and just leach off their son when they have literally know nothing about how our finances work. i'm terrible at lying and keeping a story straight so i haven't come up wiht any sort of cover story for myself. i'd say thats what i struggle with most. what cover story to make up when you're the worst liar ever lol

 

[Sashacurves]

i see it like if there wasn't any stigma and our work was widely accepted, we wouldn't be paid nearly as much, so i'm fine with the trade off. i used to live very openly but felt like i was constantly justifying why i felt empowered and not victimized by my job and i always had to tell people exactly how much $ i made (which is super not their business)and they would still say beind my back "well i like her but i dont like what she does for a living so i'll just be rude to her". or they think i want to steal their nasty husbands bcz sex worker= uncontrollable sex addict to the narrow minded. i've found very few people actually understand what we do as performers and how we have complete control over our shows. i'd rather just keep it to myself unless i know this person very well and think they can accept the information.

the only annoying part is that my husband family thinks that i dont work and just leach off their son when they have literally know nothing about how our finances work. i'm terrible at lying and keeping a story straight so i haven't come up wiht any sort of cover story for myself. i'd say thats what i struggle with most. what cover story to make up when you're the worst liar ever lol

100% everything you just said!

 

[LaceyRoyce]

I get the idea that stigma reduction would = less pay for sex workers.. but ultimately I feel like stigma causes so much harm, it'd be for the wider good. I think a little 'taboo/risque' idea around our work is fine, but stigma causes laws that make what we do illegal, it is responsible for rapes, murders, children being removed from parents, suicides, medical negligence, housing being denied, banking being denied, and an industry that can very easily leave people trapped once they enter it because stigma prevents them from re-entering vanilla work. In my life stigma lost me a job, friends and family in a town, has strained my relationship with my parents, lost me a bank account, and none of those are really that bad compared to things I've seen others go through.

 

[Lilly_____]

I get the idea that stigma reduction would = less pay for sex workers.. but ultimately I feel like stigma causes so much harm, it'd be for the wider good. I think a little 'taboo/risque' idea around our work is fine, but stigma causes laws that make what we do illegal, it is responsible for rapes, murders, children being removed from parents, suicides, medical negligence, housing being denied, banking being denied, and an industry that can very easily leave people trapped once they enter it because stigma prevents them from re-entering vanilla work. In my life stigma lost me a job, friends and family in a town, has strained my relationship with my parents, lost me a bank account, and none of those are really that bad compared to things I've seen others go through.

Not to mention that only a small percentage of sex workers do get paid more than vanilla workers.

 

[DeCathy]

I have nothing to lose right now but I am worried for the future. My mother would understand, my father is abusive but he doesn't want to do anything with me anymore so I don't care what he thinks, I don't have friends right now after years of depression, some people know me but they are not close friends. I don't have a job, my banking account is blocked due to debt and it won't resolve soon, it would be awkward if landlord finds out but I could find another apartment.. My biggest worry is that I won't be able to be anything else than a model later, if I become self-employed,I don't know if I'll have any clients because people will judge me... But at this moment, I don't have anything and I must al teast try. My sexting job pays very little and I should work 16 hours a day in order to make a living from that.
I am a little bit concerned about my safety but I hope some creep won't find me. I don't know. I am an overthinker and the more I think it's worse.

 

[Emily57]

I've always been worried about being recognised so I am a faceless model. Even though I dont show my face I still wear a wig and do my makeup much heavier than I normally do. I do this because occasionally I have found my face accidentally comes in to view. I don't block my location because leaked videos are all over the Internet so I could be spotted that way. I make sure my room can not be recognised too. I have had men from my imidiate location in my room and I used to panic, but now I just brazen it out. They can't see my face so I stopped worrying. Also what are they going to say to people, are they going to admit that while they were perusing a sex site and spending money on sex workers they came across me. I should think they would want to keep that quiet. My accent is very area specific so when a local man comes in he knows right away.
The best thing to do is disguise yourself with a mask or keep your face out if it all together. You can make a living from it and keep some anonymity. Good luck whatever you do.

 

[Theclubist111]

I'm a model too and I just don't show my face on cam. I only show it it private cam to cam. Sanecwith pictures and videos.

 

[MarieElise]

Sometimes I wonder how those type of conversations would go down, over the dinner table...

"Um Honey, you know Marjorie from your spin class?"

"Yes... what about her?"

"Oh she's actually a cammodel. She's quite prominent on a site I go to; where I spend a chunk of our hard earned cash every week or two, to jerk off over other females (who are not you), who I don't know."

"Oh wonderful, I can't wait to humiliate myself in front of everyone I know, and let them know you've been doing that and that you recognized Marjorie. Best gossip ever! Juicy. Thanks for letting me know. Just what I needed, all my friends to think you're a Rabid horn dog, tying up his balls for strangers on the internet. Happy Fucking Weekend to me!!"

I mean, I'm not saying I haven't been recognized. I have. But it's always been a lone guy, never a guy in a social situation that wants to actually share anything with everyone.