How to break up with your cam girl

[Din23]

Ok so I've been visiting the same cam girl for a few months. I really enjoy spending time with her. We've become friends and 80% of the time it's not about sex. I do spend money but not an amount that I cannot afford. So yes there is a friendship. I also have to say I'm not an expert member of cam sites. I went on for the 1st time a few months ago. Not really finding anything I like until I met this one model. I liked her style and how she ran her room. We started chatting in PM. She friended me right away. At 1st I would spend time with her maybe an hour a day. Mostly chat a few privates. Then as we talked more and more. I spent more time every day she was online. I do care about her as it's fun to hang out with. But as time passes I find out more lies she has told me. 1st I find out she is in a studio and not home. Then I find out she is on multiple sites at the same time. Recently I found out that she used to cam under a different name on a different site. One of the big attractions we had was we started this cam site stuff together she was a new model and I was a new member. That was not true. Plus the fact that she was totally different on her previous site then she is now. (I'm not into the lush and toy stuff) so to be honest if I met her on the other site I would have moved on. I also think she has a boyfriend that she does not admit. We snap but it's like 5 minutes so I'm guessing it's when the boyfriend is away. Ok sorry long post. But I care about her. She says she does not like to be online unless I'm there. We have fun but I just don't like the lies. How do I end it without hurting her? Or do you think it won't hurt her

 

[Cheeseonmyfriesplz]

Most camming customers stop coming back without saying goodbye. Lol. You ending it by at least apologizing shows you care.

 

[AudriTwo]

First things first, camming is a job. She is doing her job selling the fantasy. Most models are already in committed relationships and not all of them is open about it to their audience. I know me being open about my marriage kills the chance of me gaining members as regulars because they want to view me as available for their fantasy.

Secondly, a lot of models especially in EE, Africa, and SA are in studios. There is nothing wrong with working in one. Physical studios supply a safe place to cam if the model doesn't have the space available or can't afford the equipment needed (computer, lights, internet, camera, toys, ect)

Thirdly, lots of models work different sites, and some sites you need different personas and hustle. Some sites you can easily get away with being chit chatty and flirty, where others it's in your best interest monetarily to be explicit. She is trying the pay her bills end of the day.

And fourth, I don't know if she will be hurt. Me personally I can care less if a regular of mine no longer wants to see me. I don't need an explanation or a goodbye. I'm not their girlfriend, just some cammodel they talk to or spank their meat to. I understand. I have lots of regs that come and go, and am constantly making new ones.

Lots of studio models are trained to tell members what they may want to hear or to lead their regs on to keep them spending.

Your best bet is to look at camming as a fantasy and remind yourself the models are at work. Enjoy it for what it is.

 

[thinkinboutit]

Sorry that you are feeling this conflicted. Try not to be upset with her for giving you exactly what you’re paying for.

I understand you wrote that out to explain your situation to us here. But tbh if a member on a camsite sent all that to me Id consider myself lucky and that I dodged a bullet.

If you decide not to see her anymore, in this case it seems best just to move along.

 

[Deleted member 57885]

You haven't said anything of this sort, but I'll post it just in case: obligatory link post

1. Honestly, you don't owe her anything, and she doesn't owe you anything. Part of the nature of camsites is that they're entertainment, providing temporary relationships. You won't like to hear it, and you may not believe it, but I'll say it: Chances are, the friendship isn't as deep as you think it is.
2. Remember: her job is to get money. Many cam girls will lie & stretch truths (refer to link above) to different extents. She wants to make you feel good so you tip. Sometimes the truth is uglier than you'd like to hear, so it won't be said. After all, it's not like camgirls are going around responding to "hru" with "I'm really bored sitting here, and I just want to go home and sleep, not talk to you or Joe Schmoe, but alas, gotta earn a living." There are also sometimes studio regulations that stop the model from talking about certain details, like studio location, but I don't think that her being in a studio is necessarily relevant to the issue at hand.
3. Most members just leave. I doubt she'll be too surprised if you just up and go, explanation or not.

I think you have a couple options, with both being acceptable. First: you just leave and don't come back. Radio silence. It is what it is. You both move on. Second: you just tell her straight up something like "hey, so I've decided... I'm moving on from CB, and I just wanted to let you know. I appreciate the time!" Something short and sweet, to the point. No need to start going like 'why did you lie' or get all mushy/overbearing. No need to explain yourself or justify why.

 

[MarieElise]

I can't even bring myself to read about this person's problems because of the title of this thread. Ew. "Break-up", "your cam girl"? Double ew.
Just stop going back, this sounds cringe-worthy and weird tbh. Maybe don't use cam models if you are viewing it as more than a fun time, or transaction.
Sorry, this just makes my skin crawl.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Shes a camgirl not your gf she is allowed to lie about things to maintain her privacy. She does not owe u the truth about having a bf, past career choices or details about her employment.

Just don't go back if it's not for u. It's not a break up and she's not your camgirl.

 

[CheeseMoon]

Agree with all of the above. Cam sites are probably the world's weirdest place to look for a girlfriend, and cam models are by definition allowed to tell you all the lies they need in order to stay safe. It's an escape from the daily grind and a fantasy, and you aren't actually allowed to become pissed about a cam model's legend not standing up to scrutiny.

Say your polite goodbyes and move on, possibly off camsites.

 

[Din23]

I can't even bring myself to read about this person's problems because of the title of this thread. Ew. "Break-up", "your cam girl"? Double ew.
Just stop going

Sorry to creep you out. My bad of choice of word

 

[Din23]

Thank you everyone. I apologize for my choice of words. I was trying to explain our friendship. I completely understand the reason for models not being truthful. I was not trying to be judgemental. But reading all the responses and the disgust many of have towards my explanation I think the best bet is to let her know cam models is not the right thing for me. I do think there is a friendship, fantasy or not, I should let her know I won't be back instead of just disappearing. Thanks again

 

[tokensarentforkids]

better not to look back, she is a manipulator

 

[Din23]

better not to look back, she is a manipulator

Ha. Thanks.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Ok so I've been visiting the same cam girl for a few months. I really enjoy spending time with her. We've become friends and 80% of the time it's not about sex. I do spend money but not an amount that I cannot afford. So yes there is a friendship. I also have to say I'm not an expert member of cam sites. I went on for the 1st time a few months ago. Not really finding anything I like until I met this one model. I liked her style and how she ran her room. We started chatting in PM. She friended me right away. At 1st I would spend time with her maybe an hour a day. Mostly chat a few privates. Then as we talked more and more. I spent more time every day she was online. I do care about her as it's fun to hang out with. But as time passes I find out more lies she has told me. 1st I find out she is in a studio and not home. Then I find out she is on multiple sites at the same time. Recently I found out that she used to cam under a different name on a different site. One of the big attractions we had was we started this cam site stuff together she was a new model and I was a new member. That was not true. Plus the fact that she was totally different on her previous site then she is now. (I'm not into the lush and toy stuff) so to be honest if I met her on the other site I would have moved on. I also think she has a boyfriend that she does not admit. We snap but it's like 5 minutes so I'm guessing it's when the boyfriend is away. Ok sorry long post. But I care about her. She says she does not like to be online unless I'm there. We have fun but I just don't like the lies. How do I end it without hurting her? Or do you think it won't hurt her

Just nicely tell her that this will probably be your last visit, and that you wish her the best. But don't post THE DETAILS of something like that in the public chat for everyone to see. That's something you should tell her via PM or mail. You could still go into her chat, and say hi and be friendly and all. But that part of the conversation should not be blurted out for all to see, imo. I'm sure she's gonna ask you why, and she may even wonder "Did I do something wrong?" You could probably tell her that it's because cam sites aren't right for you, because you tend to get attached and find yourself ending up with hurt feelings. That's how it's sounding to me, at least.

It's kinda sad that on a site where you're supposed to be relaxing...relieving stress...feeling good, your attachment to this model and hurt feelings have gotten in the way and complicated things. I also don't understand why guys act like it's a betrayal when they find out a model is camming on a second site. Camming on more than one site has become the norm (A lot of us do it). She also doesn't have to tell you every single detail of her life.

 

[Din23]

It's suck because every cam model hates the assholes. But the nice guys are the real victims

 

[AudriTwo]

It's suck because every cam model hates the assholes. But the nice guys are the real victims

 

[Danigirl]

It's suck because every cam model hates the assholes. But the nice guys are the real victims

How are you a freaking "victim". You're on a site that is all about a fantasy. Are you a victim because you believed a performance? Do you go to the ticket counter at the movie theater because julia roberts is not actually a hooker and is married in real life and then complain you're a victim? Fuck off. If you're adult enough to go to the site then you should be mature enough to realize that models don't want to freaking date you. They provide entertainment, you provide tokens. Sometimes we actually like members and like chatting. Sometimes we love that we dodged a bullet with members like you doing disappearing acts.

 

[Din23]

How are you a freaking "victim". You're on a site that is all about a fantasy. Are you a victim because you believed a performance? Do you go to the ticket counter at the movie theater because julia roberts is not actually a hooker and is married in real life and then complain you're a victim? Fuck off. If you're adult enough to go to the site then you should be mature enough to realize that models don't want to freaking date you. They provide entertainment, you provide tokens. Sometimes we actually like members and like chatting. Sometimes we love that we dodged a bullet with members like you doing disappearing acts.

you prey on the weak and are disgusted by the vulgar

 

[AudriTwo]

you prey on the weak and are disgusted by the vulgar

 

[Danigirl]

you prey on the weak and are disgusted by the vulgar

 

[AussieCosplay]

It's suck because every cam model hates the assholes. But the nice guys are the real victims

Firstly I want to address this. You are not a victim.
Don't be a "niceguytm".

Actually genuine people being themselves and open will make real friendships.

I have met wonderful and inspiring people both members and models.

But would you want to be friends with someone who self proclaimed to be a "nice guy"? Would you trust someone who identified as that?


As for your original post, different people cam differently. Some create a character to protect their privacy and others are more open about themselves to varying degrees. Please be aware that doing so carries risk to the model.

As for members not returning, it is nice to receive a message, explaining the reason. We don't expect it as that would be unreasonable but it is nice, especially if you really have been a friend.

Finally I honestly think you would really benefit from a bit of introspection about why you're feeling so betrayed by a person who is payed to perform fantasies. What did you expect? Be honest with yourself about this because it seems to me like you may be setting yourself up for hurt by setting unrealistic expectations of someone. In my experience this is usually a pattern and it's not easy to break out of. (I used to do similar, and it took so much to become self aware)

 

[rumpelstiltskin]

But would you want to be friends with someone who self proclaimed to be a "nice guy"? Would you trust someone who identified as that?

I get the impression a lot of self-proclaimed "nice guys" still don't realise everyone saw through that act a loooong time ago

 

[yummybrownfox]

you prey on the weak and are disgusted by the vulgar

You're a nice guy, but you're on here calling cam models predators? It's not the model's fault you started catching feelings. This isn't Tinder, and she isn't your girlfriend. She's probably flirted with you and maybe spent more time PMing you than she does other guys, but that doesn't make her your girlfriend. What ever happened to going on cam sites...having some smiles and laughs...beating your dick...and logging off?

You complained that you found out she cams in a studio and not from home. You complained that she cams on different sites at once (which lots of models do to maximize their earnings). You complained that you suspect she has a boyfriend (as if her love life is any of your business).

 

[Goblin]

It's suck because every cam model hates the assholes. But the nice guys are the real victims

One could argue that's what you were paying for

You wanted to feel like the nice guy, you tipped so she catered to it and fulfilled your need

If she didn't cater to that you would have moved on as you're doing now

 

[yummybrownfox]

better not to look back, she is a manipulator

Huh? How?

 

[uzhvecher]

Try not to be upset with her for giving you exactly what you’re paying for.

This is beautiful.

 

[JennyFae]

This isn't Tinder, and she isn't your girlfriend.

THIS. I just wanted to hammer this in. A LOT of guys think we owe them MORE than what they pay for. No. We don't belong to you and you don't belong to us.
Just move on.

 

[AudriTwo]

Huh? How?

i think it's his misogyny making these conclusions.

 

[yummybrownfox]

i think it's his misogyny making these conclusions.

Yeah, I read his post, and I'm like OMG, please don't co-sign that dude's posts...or enable him! Lol.

 

[tokensarentforkids]

Huh? How?

most models do not lie about everything, Din23 came into it with the wrong expectations, but it does not sound like he ran into a nice person

 

[MarieElise]

most models do not lie about everything, Din23 came into it with the wrong expectations, but he did not run into a nice person

What specifically, did he say that caused you to reach this conclusion (i.e. that he did not run into a nice person)? Your comment confused me too, and I was really confused about what evidence or information you were basing it on.