How do you handle "daddy/daughter" fetish?

[Brit]

I have a few regulars who are into the daddy/daughter thing. At first, I didn't get it, like, I thought they just wanted to be called "daddy" like they were a pimp or something. Yesterday, it came out in tip notes that they get off on that fantasy of actual father daughter stuff. To be honest, I was a bit triggered by it. I don't think it showed since I'm pretty good at hiding my feelings. I was repeatedly raped by a father figure when I was younger so any sort of "family" fetish makes me feel sick. In addition to that, there are the rules on CB that disallow this. I'm not sure how to handle it all appropriately. I just ignored it and continued my sexy talk without mentioning the words "daddy", "father", etc. These regulars are light purple and dark purple so I'm assuming that they're getting this fetish play elsewhere on the site. How do you all handle this?

 

[Olive]

I have a few regulars who are into the daddy/daughter thing. At first, I didn't get it, like, I thought they just wanted to be called "daddy" like they were a pimp or something. Yesterday, it came out in tip notes that they get off on that fantasy of actual father daughter stuff. To be honest, I was a bit triggered by it. I don't think it showed since I'm pretty good at hiding my feelings. I was repeatedly raped by a father figure when I was younger so any sort of "family" fetish makes me feel sick. In addition to that, there are the rules on CB that disallow this. I'm not sure how to handle it all appropriately. I just ignored it and continued my sexy talk without mentioning the words "daddy", "father", etc. These regulars are light purple and dark purple so I'm assuming that they're getting this fetish play elsewhere on the site. How do you all handle this?

I'm sorry you've been through that, I can't imagine what that was like but I understand getting triggered by those tipnotes.


I actually ban people who directly talk about family-relationships. I'm not OK with that notion, not even in fantasy.

For the daddy & daughter fetish thing: I think with any fetish it depends on the person who has it. I know plenty of people who are into daddy/daughter from more of a BDSM type outlook and it's not about family-relationships at all. Plenty of vanillas who also call their SO 'daddy' in bed etc. People assign different meanings to it. Still, I'm personally not comfortable with it, and I am completely open about that.

Do not be afraid to stand your ground and show/share when you're uncomfortable with something. The ban & silence options are there for a reason
You can also consider putting it down in your bio with things you're not OK with or don't do, so you can refer them to that.

Aside from that, I personally ban people asking about anything illegal (off & on site, so bestiality/pee/poo/familystuff etc.)

 

[Sillykitty]

I straight up say something along the lines of "no judgement, but I do not offer those types of shows" if I'm feeling nice or "I dont offer that, please do not ask again". I'm usually not the first model to tell them no. If they push, I block. I do not allow any sort of boundary pushing, especially if it is with a topic that I personally find repulsive or triggers me. Remember, you are at work. You are in control. You do not have to entertain or engage with anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable at all. When I started camming I wanted to please everyone, but I found it really messing with my personal life and mental health. Once I started to stick to my boundaries, I ended up loving it. Big hugs to you!

Edited to add- on sm I have a preset with both of those typed out, along with one that says "that request is against site rules, do not ask again", so that way I can just hit a number and send it directly to the member asking without saying anything or interrupting the flow of my room. I havent been on mfc in a while and never on cb, so I dont know if you can utilize something like that.

 

[xoxAprilJames]

You don't have to do a single thing you don't want to do. And if they push you and say you've done it before, you don't have to reason with them. All they need to know is that you don't do that now, that's that. If they push, kick them out. It's your room, and your comfort is the most important thing. There are plenty of big tippers out there, don't feel like you're missing out on these few will be make or break for you!

 

[JoleneBrody]

I don’t and you don’t either. You don’t have to do anything that you aren’t totally comfortable with.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Definitely don't do these shows if you're not comfortable with them. The Daddy/Daughter kink is one that there are a whole bunch of women who are into, but if it's not your thing then it's really pretty gross. I actually do find it a turn on and it disgusted the hell out of me for years, but I think maybe that's one reason I liked it. But, like you I've had experiences where I've had the "real thing" in a popular fetish which for me was traumatising abuse and it actually makes me feel sick hearing people get off on it. Actually my current boyfriend used to find one popular porn theme a turn on (between consenting non related adults) that is very similar in scenario to abuse I suffered as a child, and while I only found out more recently, he apparently stopped being remotely interested in it after meeting me. The reality is, fetishes are often so because it's so far removed from real life. No way would I ever engage in any fetish that triggered my real life experiences.

If it were me in your situation if people kept bringing it up, I'd just be honest and open about it. Say due to certain relationships you've had, this fetish makes you uncomfortable and you'd rather if no one brings it up. Hell, if it comes up a lot I'd even put something on your profile so you don't have to deal with that shit.

 

[SaffronBurke]

The same way I handle other fetishes that I'm uncomfortable with: "I don't offer that." No room for discussion.

 

[Brit]

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts. It's difficult for me because I'm always trying to make other people happy and feel valued, but yeah. It's super easy for me to pretend I'm strong/confident and will stick to my guns when typing something, but when it comes down to it, I'm a bit of a doormat. You all are absolutely right. It is my room. My rules. My boundaries. I need to just integrate those thoughts into myself and not waver. I think I'll put it into my bio that I'm not comfortable with it and when/if people ask, I'll just be honest and say that I was raped by someone who was basically a dad to me so it triggers things in me that are the opposite of sexy or something like that. You all seem so strong. I'm in awe of the people on here. This is what I meant in my intro post. People in the sex industry are just so different. I have great admiration for you and strive to be something that I'm not sure I can attain.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts. It's difficult for me because I'm always trying to make other people happy and feel valued, but yeah. It's super easy for me to pretend I'm strong/confident and will stick to my guns when typing something, but when it comes down to it, I'm a bit of a doormat. You all are absolutely right. It is my room. My rules. My boundaries. I need to just integrate those thoughts into myself and not waver. I think I'll put it into my bio that I'm not comfortable with it and when/if people ask, I'll just be honest and say that I was raped by someone who was basically a dad to me so it triggers things in me that are the opposite of sexy or something like that. You all seem so strong. I'm in awe of the people on here. This is what I meant in my intro post. People in the sex industry are just so different. I have great admiration for you and strive to be something that I'm not sure I can attain.

I would not suggest sharing your experience. You do not need to give a reason, they don’t deserve one. A yes or no is all you need. These guys can be turned on by those stories, I would keep them to yourself in this case.

STOP WORRYING ABOUT DISAPPOINTING PEOPLE. This industry will eat you alive if you don’t pull up your boss pants a bit

 

[Brit]

STOP WORRYING ABOUT DISAPPOINTING PEOPLE. This industry will eat you alive if you don’t pull up your boss pants a bit

Well smack me up and call me a bitch ass hoe. (Thanks for the tough love)

 

[JoleneBrody]

Well smack me up and call me a bitch ass hoe. (Thanks for the tough love)

BOSS ass hoe!

 

[AudriTwo]

BOSS ass hoe!

CE-HOE!

 

[Mila_]

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts. It's difficult for me because I'm always trying to make other people happy and feel valued, but yeah. It's super easy for me to pretend I'm strong/confident and will stick to my guns when typing something, but when it comes down to it, I'm a bit of a doormat. You all are absolutely right. It is my room. My rules. My boundaries. I need to just integrate those thoughts into myself and not waver. I think I'll put it into my bio that I'm not comfortable with it and when/if people ask, I'll just be honest and say that I was raped by someone who was basically a dad to me so it triggers things in me that are the opposite of sexy or something like that. You all seem so strong. I'm in awe of the people on here. This is what I meant in my intro post. People in the sex industry are just so different. I have great admiration for you and strive to be something that I'm not sure I can attain.

Maybe this is an overshare but yolo... I was also a doormat type when I started camming, I wanted to please everybody and for everyone to like me. Through my interactions with members I learned how to say "no", how to set boundaries and also how to keep them. This is an industry where... you can either sink and vanish, or learn how to flip the script and have /them/ struggle to please /you/.

I still, to this day, struggle with this aspect of my personality off cam. It is as if I felt like I am not good enough for people to want to be my friend, I need to offer them something in exchange for their friendship, this is obviously lined with experiences from my childhood but that's too heavy for a shitpost on a forum lmao. I often find myself doing way to much for people who haven't earned my trust or my friendship just because we exist in the same context. And until this year I still treated other models the same way. I finally learned this year –and it was a difficult lesson– that models can be just as manipulative, as cunning, as disrespectful and as rude as members... The ultimate lesson that took me 6 years to learn is the entire world is camsite members. You must always protect yourself and your boundaries first and if anyone wants to be your friend they will approach you without you making all that extra effort.

In fact... when you put so much effort in to please people who haven't earned your trust, this will attract the worst kind of people because abusers /PICK/ their victims and they can smell a doormat type from miles away, like sharks with blood. So when you act like this you are a magnet for abusive types, for scam artists, for people looking for easy prey. Protect yourself! This book is a must read:

 

[Sansa]

Technically that fetish is against TOS on most sites.

I don't offer anything even remotely like that, but I've found that stating that it's against TOS usually gets that member to either scoot or ask for something else. Most won't push after using TOS as your reason for not doing it. If they do get pushy, I'll just point out that they're not worth losing a job over, hell, even make up an excuse that you already got a warning for it whether or not that's true. I do femdom though so this kind of bluntness works in my favour, might not for all styles so you might want to find better or nicer phrasing.

Anyway, citing TOS as your reason generally helps because if you mention that something makes you uncomfortable, some members will push even more because of that if they're the type who gets off on seeing discomfort in a model. It's a good way to circumvent that from happening most of the time if there's something they're pushing for that is triggering for you.

 

[Brit]

I like the idea of adding that it's against the TOS. I think that I'll add something like that to my bio.

@Mila_ what is the book? I get this:





I definitely relate to being a magnet for narcissists. My ex is one and he fucked me up so hard over 10 years. I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover from his emotional abuse, but it's a work in progress. I guess this (camming) is a good "testing grounds" to regain that lost confidence as one can set their boundaries and if people overstep them, then banning is an option.

 

[Mila_]

I like the idea of adding that it's against the TOS. I think that I'll add something like that to my bio.

@Mila_ what is the book? I get this:


View attachment 81820


I definitely relate to being a magnet for narcissists. My ex is one and he fucked me up so hard over 10 years. I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover from his emotional abuse, but it's a work in progress. I guess this (camming) is a good "testing grounds" to regain that lost confidence as one can set their boundaries and if people overstep them, then banning is an option.

The book is called "When I say 'no' I feel guilty" by Manuel J Smith. It gives great techniques on how to stand your ground when saying no to people. For example... he says people like us who have a hard time saying 'no' or tend to give way too much to others who don't deserve it usually have in common a childhood where people around us disrespected our boundaries constantly, sometimes by ignoring them, and sometimes by getting pissed when you set one up, and this created this pattern of insecurity when dealing with people and saying 'no' that is very hard to shake.

The first technique it teaches you it's called "Broken Record". He says people who disrespect your boundaries will try to negotiate your 'no' with you over and over again until you cave. And the way to counter it is to simply repeat the same short phrase over and over again telling them "no" and what you want to happen. For example:

"I want to roleplay daddy/daughter in private with you"
"No, I don't feel comfortable with that, please leave"
"Why not?
"Because I don't feel comfortable with that, so please leave"
"but what if you call me daddy and I don't call you daughter"
"No, I don't feel comfortable with that, please leave"

Ad infinitum.

By doing this you don't fall into the pattern of actually negotiating your own boundaries and letting others step on them, instead you clearly state your point over and over again without budging until the other person gets it and just stops bothering you. Obviously you don't need "broken record" on cam because you can simply ban them from your room, but this technique is really useful in real life.

 

[Sansa]

I like the idea of adding that it's against the TOS. I think that I'll add something like that to my bio.

@Mila_ what is the book? I get this:


View attachment 81820


I definitely relate to being a magnet for narcissists. My ex is one and he fucked me up so hard over 10 years. I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover from his emotional abuse, but it's a work in progress. I guess this (camming) is a good "testing grounds" to regain that lost confidence as one can set their boundaries and if people overstep them, then banning is an option.

It's up to you if you want to add it to your bio or not, but if anything in a bio could come up in a search, it could actually lead to more inquiries on a particular fetish.

Like even if you say, I dunno, "not submissive" if someone does a search for submissive, some sites will have you show up in the search because it's only catching the word and not the phrase. Most don't read a profile before asking questions. As before it's up to you if you want to add it, but if it's something you don't want others bringing up as much, it might not be a bad idea to leave certain keywords out.

 

[NerdyZoey]

I usually say “Sorry Mario your princess is in a different castle” 9/10 they laugh (in texting sites this earns me an extra text). It breaks the weirdness without having to get too personal (if you don’t want to)


Super sorry you had to go through all that

 

[Capryce]

First of all, I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you.
In my opinion you don't have to justify your answer, I wouldn't even bother telling him it's against TOS and definitely not tell him about this past experience (some sick pervs might ask to tell them more about it, ugh...)
When someone wants me to do something I'm not into, I just say no. And if they ask why, I respond: Because I don't! And if they keep pushing = ban!

 

[Dreamy_Kitten]

Generally I would just ban them, had a person in my room before - when i was camming on MFC - and kept going on about how I looked like his daughter -groooossssss- excuse me while i gag at the memory.
People in my room where grossed out as well and told me to ban him, which I did, didn't have to tell me twice. tho i did look a deer in headlights for a bit cause who the fuck does that.

If it crosses your boundaries and isn't allowed don't be afraid to be ban happy to those people even if they are high tipper's, just because they are doesn't excuse it. And if they complain, well just say they are breaking the rules and they can look else where.