How do you deal with depression?

[Shaun__]

For the last year or so my depression has been weighing heavily on my mind off and on. I am not really in a position to take anything chemical to treat it, work reasons, and I wondered if anyone like to share how they or their friends get through the bad times?

 

[SaffronBurke]

I have tried multiple medications, and meds and I just don't get along. I always have awful side effects that are more unpleasant than what I'm trying to treat, so I've stopped bothering with those.

The first thing that helps me is acknowledging/pointing out to myself that the way I'm behaving is because of my depression, not because I'm a bad person. This gives me the awareness to either go with the flow or do something to change things, whichever is more appropriate at the moment.

Music has always been very moving to me, so that is often what I use. I've come to know over the years what music will help me according to the situation. Do I just need to have a good cry, then I'll feel better? I have a playlist for that. Do I need to get pumped and encourage a better mood? I have a playlist for that. I also have books that are great as a feel-better go-to.

 

[Picnic]

Memes.

 

[JickyJuly]

Therapy. If you can't take antidepressants on the job, maybe you could get an anxiety med for when things get too much on a day off? I know a lot of people don't like pills, but they are a really easy way to kind of reset a little. Keeping my house clean. Having a routine (this is the one I struggle with most and the one that helps a ton). Not sitting down until the end of the night. Eating fatty foods. Stretching. Pets. Avoiding the news.

 

[AudriTwo]

I hated anti-depressants as a teenager. They made me more suicidal. As an adult, I can say they are actually working. It felt like they kicked in this week and I've been much happier.

 

[Magnolia]

Memes.

I feel attacked.

 

[Logan469]

I hated anti-depressants as a teenager. They made me more suicidal. As an adult, I can say they are actually working. It felt like they kicked in this week and I've been much happier.

This... so much this... How the fuck do these meds make me feel more suicidal. I want to drop the meds but i remember how i feel off of them.

OP Personally i try everything when im depressed from music to funny movies... Rarely can i push myself out of it. I generally have to ride it out. Im a great help here... Where are these memes ffs?

Cant go wrong with the Draper!!!!

 

[Ann_Sulu]

I'm never been on meds, so can't give any advice there.

When I'm low though, I have a hard time doing anything. The best I'm come across to help with depression is going to the gym, but good luck getting me there if I'm already in a funk. 20 minutes of working out can completely change my mood. Normally I binge movies and music till I get through it.

 

[Emberblaze]

Copious amounts of vitamin D. I don't recommend others do this but I take more than the recommended dose and take like 4000iu (usually 1000 or 2000 is recommended so if you live somewhere that isn't all sunshine all the time you could talk to a Dr about taking it.)

I also listen to ASMR videos (it's ok, you can judge me, I'm already judging me) but I find they boost feel good feelings for me.

I watch my diet. Poor mental health without any obvious trigger for me is usually an indication I've been eating a lot of sugar and processed junk instead of real food. I find lots of real food PLUS a moderate amount of junk helps.

Exercise. Running gives me crazy endorphins and helps me deal with anger and depression exceptionally well if I can force myself to do it which I understand can be so hard.

 

[AnaBee]

Gym is my therapy. Working out is proven to help milder cases of depression, but I think it would help in even more severe cases. While it was hard habit to form it's irreplaceable part of my life, it just makes me happier.
There is so many sports to try out or simply going for a brisk walk, and you're doomed to feel at least a bit better.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

I've never been through that so I can't tell and I'm not in any possible position to say anything about it. I'd just like to say one thing I really believe. As others have stated any sport or any physical exercise/outdoor activity - even a little walk in a park - gives you focus, discipline, boosts your confidence and clears your mind. Always worked on me and still does. Since I was a kid I like to swim and I take my path to the pool or gym or go for a little run everytime I'm feeling low or I'm facing some life or even business problem. Eventually it becomes a healty routine.

 

[SugarSkyBaby]

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety my whole life. The way I experience each one is always changing, so my coping strategies don't always work. I have to make adjustments here and there and figure out what works for me. Right now, music, exercise, and guided meditation are a huge help. I also drink a lot.. but you probably shouldn't do that. Haha.

 

[LilFitVeve]

My best friend suffers from anxiety and depression so she tried hypnosis. And it's been half a year now that she's been off meds. Might be worth trying to get rid of the "hi bb" "babes" "princesses" in my head

 

[CharlottesBox]

Depression in one of those tricky things where it can be the issue or a symptom of something else; all I can speak to is my personal experience. Keep in mind my struggles don't stem from a chemical/hormonal imbalance which directly causes depression but more of a ongoing battle with a mystery chronic fatigue issue/possible thyroid problem and some difficult life events all happening consecutively over a three year + period so I can't recommend people take my coping mechanisms too seriously, everyone is different and I'm not a doctor.

What I do is this;
Talk therapy from some one who I trust and doesn't have any clear bias which would negatively influence their handling of my case but can also call me on my BS (it may take time to find the right person for you)

Setting realistic goals and detailed plans on how to achieve them.
Being realistic and accepting of my limitations (it's okay to not be able to do everything and do it well! There are lots of ways to get to your goals, think outside your normal patterns and ask your therapist for help)

Pick and choose who and what you spend your time, resources and energy on carefully; make sure those few activities and quality people give back to your life and energy as much as they take.

I'm an eater when I get sad and I'm not much for exercise for the sake of itself so a good diet with lots of healthy snacks and living an active lifestyle (busing not driving, walking or yoga instead of tv before bed etc,are important (falling off that wagon a bit currently)

Meditation; twenty minutes sitting low key mantra meditation in the morning or when I feel overwhelmed really helps me get some rest, privacy, permission to feel and then a way to shut it down before it starts spiralling

Gardening and animals; without taking on too much extra work my low maintenance furry and leafy babies keep me accountable to something other than myself and give me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction as well as being super cute.

Vitamins!!! D and B-complex in recommended doses daily, anti inflammatories like turmeric in foods/dressings, galangal in broths, fresh ginger tea, chaga (Inonotus obliquus) tea, and nettle or fennel tea to help my liver process everything including the above efficiently.

When I really really really feel shitty I sleep in a bit, I have a really nice lazy shower and a good cry...I hate crying cause I feel like a big whiny baby but it helps release all kinds of hormones and chemicals so you can feel better, give yourself a crying break once in awhile.

Depression in really crappy for anyone, hell for performers like us in my opinion, but even if it is chemical and you have to do the medication thing taking a look at your lifestyle and priorities is probably going to help support all that anyways.

Tomorrow is a new day, you have endless chances to change things for the better.

 

[Guy]

What about when you're depressed because you don't have friends and feel alone?

 

[SMuser69]

What about when you're depressed because you don't have friends and feel alone?

I think they're all talking about clinical depression which doesn't always have a rational trigger vs just feeling depressed because you're in a depressing situation.

My answer in that situation is if having no friends is depressing just go make some friends. Normal feelings can be fixed through time, action or distraction.

 

[Guy]

I think they're all talking about clinical depression which doesn't always have a rational trigger vs just feeling depressed because you're in a depressing situation.

My answer in that situation is if having no friends is depressing just go make some friends. Normal feelings can be fixed through time, action or distraction.

What about in situations were someone has difficulty making friends?

 

[SMuser69]

What about in situations were someone has difficulty making friends?

Practice, Trial and Error. Communication is a skill not a right. At some point you can't put things on others and have to look to yourself. It's more a question of having the confidence to push through the failures till you meet that person that accepts you. Everyone gets 6 Billion chances to make a friend.

What more important is what is your expectation of friendship and if a person meets that expectation.

 

[JickyJuly]

I suck at making friends too @Guy . I've lived in Florida for 5 years. I have maybe 1 and a half friends if I don't count my husband. That's a totally valid depression source and can lead to bigger problems. Those of us who don't connect to our community are more likely to suffer a slew of issues. Of course, being depressed can also cause a hard time making friends. IDK. I think a lot of people have a hard time making friends as adults. The only time making friends has ever been easy for me was in beauty school and when I worked in a head shop. The internet seems like a good place for making pals, but unless you're already outgoing, it doesn't work that well. Being a dude probably makes it even harder, tbh. It's not for everyone, but church can be a good place to find community. Taking classes. Getting a part time job somewhere that people will be happy (ie not a grocery store, someplace that people don't have to go....). OR... what about adopting a pet? Having pets fills the friend need and gives you purpose. Plus, they're cuter than humans.

 

[Guy]

I suck at making friends too @Guy . I've lived in Florida for 5 years. I have maybe 1 and a half friends if I don't count my husband. That's a totally valid depression source and can lead to bigger problems. Those of us who don't connect to our community are more likely to suffer a slew of issues. Of course, being depressed can also cause a hard time making friends. IDK. I think a lot of people have a hard time making friends as adults. The only time making friends has ever been easy for me was in beauty school and when I worked in a head shop. The internet seems like a good place for making pals, but unless you're already outgoing, it doesn't work that well. Being a dude probably makes it even harder, tbh. It's not for everyone, but church can be a good place to find community. Taking classes. Getting a part time job somewhere that people will be happy (ie not a grocery store, someplace that people don't have to go....). OR... what about adopting a pet? Having pets fills the friend need and gives you purpose. Plus, they're cuter than humans.

Did you have friends in high school?

 

[dilligaf0]

I tried suicide (twice).
I failed at that too, like everything else in my life.
Now, I just don't care but I look forward to this shit being over.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

@Guy

Try to get more involved into something/develop a passion(s) and find people that share the same passion(s) with you. Also in my own experience friends are just like love affair/relationships. If you look for them you won't find them, they'll find you when you least expect it. I get to know/meet tons of people (from all over the world) but I click with only very few, and even fewer are those worth of a true in-depht acquaintence that might develop in a sort of friendship. Happened to me couple of time. But as for real, I mean real friends you can count on in your life, bad news is, at least for me, that it is really hard. Like I can literally count on just one hand those friends who, if and whenever I may need, would be there for me knocking at my door in an hour or asap - meaning that they would take the first flight available. And they can count on me as well because I'd do the same for them.

 

[Dan Epstein]

I just love the way people in here are careful and responsible not to trigger any one into harm's way. I can't say this about Vanilla social media. There isn't an ounce of cynicism in my post, cross my heart.

 

[JickyJuly]

Did you have friends in high school?

Eh... I had people to get into trouble with in high school. I block out most of my life before age 24. Just pick the age that you are now and go from there. High school is crap. Anyone who thinks it was the time of their life has been a lazy adult.

 

[SugarSkyBaby]

I think they're all talking about clinical depression which doesn't always have a rational trigger vs just feeling depressed because you're in a depressing situation.

My answer in that situation is if having no friends is depressing just go make some friends. Normal feelings can be fixed through time, action or distraction.

The problem here is that "just go make some friends" isn't exactly an answer. Someone who doesn't have friends/doesn't know how to make friends isn't going to be like "oh okay I just have to MAKE FRIENDS! EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW."
Making friends as an adult is HARD. Especially if you don't have a normal job (as many of us cam models don't) or who are socially awkward (something many of us cam models also are).
My suggestion, if you don't have friends, is to join some local fb groups that interest you and start chatting people up. Maybe try some meet ups too. For example: I'm a photographer & model, so that's a topic I reach out to. I work with other photographers and models in my area and have formed friendships with a few of them. Most of them aren't deeply personal, but over time, some of them have become really close friends of mine.
I hope this helps, because I really feel for people who have a hard time forming friendships. Everyone needs a person.

 

[SugarSkyBaby]

I tried suicide (twice).
I failed at that too, like everything else in my life.
Now, I just don't care but I look forward to this shit being over.

I feel for this SO MUCH. I attempted suicide once, (by overdose, I just made myself sick and played it off like it was food poisoning), and have considered it seriously countless times.
My great-great-something committed suicide long before my mom was born, but the story of the end of her life left a lasting impression on me that I like to share with others in the same situation. She decided one day "if I still want to end my life 5 years from my next birthday, I will do it." Remember, this was long before cell phones where you could set a reminder on an exact day. She remembered 5 years later, and unfortunately followed through.
BUT. Because of her persistence in that "5 years from now" thing, it's kept me going during my darkest times and stopped me from trying again out of sheer desperation. I've always thought "if I want to seriously do this, I'll still want to 5 years from now. In the meantime, I'll just float through life and figure shit out."
She also quit smoking the same way. She promised herself that she would only light a cigarette on the hour, and if she missed it, she would have to wait another hour for the next one. Eventually, she kept missing "smoke time" often enough that she stopped thinking about it.
The woman was strong. And she still decided to end her life. I wish every day that I could have met her. Maybe in the afterlife. We'll see, someday. Maybe. Who knows though, right?

Also, side note: when I was a teenager, I made a suicide pact with my best friend that if we hit 35 and neither of us were married or had kids, we'd do a double suicide. BUT. It all went to shit when she had a kid and I became his godmother. That kinda keeps me going sometimes.

 

[Lili_xo]

The only time I feel depressed is when I come in contact with fucking horrible nasty ppl who are just trash vampires. Avoiding them and creating permanent solitude existence usually fixes that in life.
When once in a while I come in contact with usually forgetting that certain trash is vampire I cure self with watching YouTube videos by one of my fav youtubers. Depending on how bad it is I need to watch 3 or more videos.Also camming on mfc fixes that I feel happy instant but if cannot go online on a certain day videos are instant pick me up.
I believe depression comes from toxic ppl and nasty parents etc not from our inner world and getting away from some ppl usually does the trick.
Been happy the past few months with zero interruption one conversation with a vampire today and it got very bad.So just avoiding them permanent is permanent happiness.

 

[Guy]

I feel for this SO MUCH. I attempted suicide once, (by overdose, I just made myself sick and played it off like it was food poisoning), and have considered it seriously countless times.
My great-great-something committed suicide long before my mom was born, but the story of the end of her life left a lasting impression on me that I like to share with others in the same situation. She decided one day "if I still want to end my life 5 years from my next birthday, I will do it." Remember, this was long before cell phones where you could set a reminder on an exact day. She remembered 5 years later, and unfortunately followed through.
BUT. Because of her persistence in that "5 years from now" thing, it's kept me going during my darkest times and stopped me from trying again out of sheer desperation. I've always thought "if I want to seriously do this, I'll still want to 5 years from now. In the meantime, I'll just float through life and figure shit out."
She also quit smoking the same way. She promised herself that she would only light a cigarette on the hour, and if she missed it, she would have to wait another hour for the next one. Eventually, she kept missing "smoke time" often enough that she stopped thinking about it.
The woman was strong. And she still decided to end her life. I wish every day that I could have met her. Maybe in the afterlife. We'll see, someday. Maybe. Who knows though, right?

Also, side note: when I was a teenager, I made a suicide pact with my best friend that if we hit 35 and neither of us were married or had kids, we'd do a double suicide. BUT. It all went to shit when she had a kid and I became his godmother. That kinda keeps me going sometimes.

When I was 8, my mom also tried to commit suicide by medication overdose. She lost custody of me after that.

 

[Guy]

I suck at making friends too @Guy . I've lived in Florida for 5 years. I have maybe 1 and a half friends if I don't count my husband. That's a totally valid depression source and can lead to bigger problems. Those of us who don't connect to our community are more likely to suffer a slew of issues. Of course, being depressed can also cause a hard time making friends. IDK. I think a lot of people have a hard time making friends as adults. The only time making friends has ever been easy for me was in beauty school and when I worked in a head shop. The internet seems like a good place for making pals, but unless you're already outgoing, it doesn't work that well. Being a dude probably makes it even harder, tbh. It's not for everyone, but church can be a good place to find community. Taking classes. Getting a part time job somewhere that people will be happy (ie not a grocery store, someplace that people don't have to go....). OR... what about adopting a pet? Having pets fills the friend need and gives you purpose. Plus, they're cuter than humans.

Regarding taking classes, no one saved money for me towards college and where I live its expensive as fuck. I don't want to take out loans.

 

[Gen]

@Guy maybe something like Meetup.com? They have groups for all kinds of activities, like hiking or board games or whatever. There are groups in my city specifically for people who just want to make friends, they do random group activities. Those are nice because you know literally everyone sought it out because they want more friends. There's also groups for shy people, which I'm so curious how that goes, haha. Or a book club?

Anyway, how I deal with depression depends if it's situational or not. I am an anxiety baby but true depression is rare for me, just had a few boughts here and there, not so chronic. When I'm super legit in a depressive episode, tbh it feels like only time and being forced to do things helps. If I'm just feeling depressed, I try to make myself do something productive. Even a small thing like putting laundry away or making a can of soup. Doing something makes me feel a little more human.

Also eating, so much lazy garbage eating. It's not helpful at all, do not recommend.

Having a dog that needs multiple walks a day helps. Even if she has to drag me down the street in my pyjamas, it gets me outside and no level of depression or anxiety has ever superseded my dogs' needs. So even when I feel like a lump of cement, I'll be feeding and walking and hugging my dogs. They have helped my mental health a lot.