Help about situation

[anonCamGuy69]

I am a humanitarian at heart.

Please just leave me alone. That is not what I meant.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

but to be honest I wouldn't want anyone else after spending time with her.

Awesome, thanks dude! I'm now going to be like all these other dudes and get her to LOVE ME! We're going to make such sweet musical slapping and grunting noises when we finally meet. I want all her attention. Mine, mine, mine! Fuck the other guys....

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Hmm, his initial post made me think he had some ~feelings~ and didn't want to hurt hers because of that. I'm still puzzled as to why he brought up the other girl, she is not relevant in my opinion.

My advice still stands: say goodbye, block, and be done with the situation. Op is just causing himself unnecessary stress.

Hi Saffron

I do have feeling for her. Thats why it was hard. If I didn't have feelings it would be easy. I get the feeling from reading comments from many one here that the world you are in and all your clients must be psychopaths given the lack of expectation of any emotion and feelings

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Please just leave me alone. That is not what I meant.

Maybe if you stop posting, we will stop responding? idk, try it out!

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Duuuuuuuude. Just cut it all off now. It's like a band-aid - sure, it smarts if you yank it off quick, but it hurts WAY worse if you slowly peel it off. It'll be infinitely easier for you to cut all contact at once, rather than letting it drag on for ages.

But, but, how else is he going to ensure she's in love with him?!?!?!



Waitaminute...

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Okay OP, how about this: I promise that, if you start spending all your money on me instead, I will never ever contact you or even acknowledge you. Deal?

A bit sarcastic but at least funny.

Would be tempted if I hadn't just blocked all my cards

Thanks for the offer but no thanks. I have had enough trouble

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Maybe if you stop posting, we will stop responding? idk, try it out!

I was just responding to all the insults and abuse.

And I have thanked all the people who were helpful including you initally

xx

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Hi Saffron

I do have feeling for her. Thats why it was hard. If I didn't have feelings it would be easy. I get the feeling from reading comments from many one here that the world you are in and all your clients must be psychopaths given the lack of expectation of any emotion and feelings

But, you're the one bitching about her messaging you all the time. So, please follow the constructive advice I and others gave you of being a grown up and tell her or block her. The way you did it, she can still message you, all. the. time.


Understand?

 

[justjoinedtopost]

xx

 

[AudriTwo]

xx

 

[Marceline]

Let me get this right. OP first stated that he had feelings for a model who may or may not have feelings for him outside the normal cam model/client relationship. Says he needs to end it because she might be taking them too seriously, but also because he no longer has the time or financial means to supplement their relationship. OP is hesitant because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Then he brings up another unrelated model who he gives "free psych consultations" to in what I could only guess was a way to try to further convince people of how much of a nice guy he is. Gets mad when people ask about the legitimacy of this statement. Also gets mad when people state their honest opinions, that the girl might actually just be doing her job very well and that he should just break it off if that is what he wants. Then OP claims that the first model is continuously texting him and harassing him throughout the day. OP eventually claims he has a long talk with her where he does not cut off actual communication, but just cuts off his means of giving her money.
1. It seems like the only reason you wanted to cut ties with her was so that you no longer felt obliged to give her money.
2. People asked about when you said you gave free psych consultations because many people, myself included, take mental health very seriously. You could have just said I listen to her and give her advice. Your wording of that implied you are either a) a mental health professional, which in that case it would be highly unethical to give any kind of mental health care to a woman who you are friends with and pay to see naked online or b) you see yourself as some kind of mental health provider, which it would still be wrong to give your not even professional mental health advice to a woman you pay to see naked online. It gives you no subjectivity.
3. People exit other people's lives all the time. Be it through a break up or a divorce or whatever. I'm sure she can handle a man she has only had relations with online not talking to her anymore. If she cannot, then there's much more deeper rooted issues present and you keeping on talking to her will not fix them.
4. You got mad over most the posts that weren't even rude. Seriously, no one actually attacked you. You were the one calling people trolls and assholes. You just didn't like not hearing what you wanted to hear. If you can't handle some simple differences of opinion or criticism then maybe you should step away from the internet.
5. It seems like all you wanted was to hear people telling you how much of a nice guy you are for caring so much about her feelings and not wanting to hurt her. Also, you wanted people telling you to keep on talking to her, because you obviously had your mind made up to do that when you said you would keep up communications with her. Any stable person I know wouldn't hesitate to ignore or block someone that was texting/harassing them every 5 minutes. Unless they liked the attention.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Let me get this right. OP first stated that he had feelings for a model who may or may not have feelings for him outside the normal cam model/client relationship. Says he needs to end it because she might be taking them too seriously, but also because he no longer has the time or financial means to supplement their relationship. OP is hesitant because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Then he brings up another unrelated model who he gives "free psych consultations" to in what I could only guess was a way to try to further convince people of how much of a nice guy he is. Gets mad when people ask about the legitimacy of this statement. Also gets mad when people state their honest opinions, that the girl might actually just be doing her job very well and that he should just break it off if that is what he wants. Then OP claims that the first model is continuously texting him and harassing him throughout the day. OP eventually claims he has a long talk with her where he does not cut off actual communication, but just cuts off his means of giving her money.
1. It seems like the only reason you wanted to cut ties with her was so that you no longer felt obliged to give her money.
2. People asked about when you said you gave free psych consultations because many people, myself included, take mental health very seriously. You could have just said I listen to her and give her advice. Your wording of that implied you are either a) a mental health professional, which in that case it would be highly unethical to give any kind of mental health care to a woman who you are friends with and pay to see naked online or b) you see yourself as some kind of mental health provider, which it would still be wrong to give your not even professional mental health advice to a woman you pay to see naked online. It gives you no subjectivity.
3. People exit other people's lives all the time. Be it through a break up or a divorce or whatever. I'm sure she can handle a man she has only had relations with online not talking to her anymore. If she cannot, then there's much more deeper rooted issues present and you keeping on talking to her will not fix them.
4. You got mad over most the posts that weren't even rude. Seriously, no one actually attacked you. You were the one calling people trolls and assholes. You just didn't like not hearing what you wanted to hear. If you can't handle some simple differences of opinion or criticism then maybe you should step away from the internet.
5. It seems like all you wanted was to hear people telling you how much of a nice guy you are for caring so much about her feelings and not wanting to hurt her. Also, you wanted people telling you to keep on talking to her, because you obviously had your mind made up to do that when you said you would keep up communications with her. Any stable person I know wouldn't hesitate to ignore or block someone that was texting/harassing them every 5 minutes. Unless they liked the attention.

oh come on thats not fair and its misleading. I thanked everyone who was constructive. All the models. The people who annoyed me were a few male non models

I did not do that. I just mentioned in passing. And I never said I gave anyone consultations. And I never mentioned it by way of "what a nice guy" I wish I had never mentioned that I had a freind. I was just trying to explain that I understood a lot about the industry and what the situation of people is like. It was by way of explanation. And all I get is attacked

Two guys then seriousl attacked me. One caused a huge amount of problems by prying into who I was (my private and profesisonal life) and put me in a very diffult situation by implying i was giving professional consultations to a Cam model. Irrespective of the truth that level of prying put models and me at potential risk and showed no sense of confidentiality. Do you think a professional would discuss a client on here. And if anyone knows about mental health professionals, giving consultations in the way implied by some posters would be totally unethiccal. So it was other people drumming it up and creating a situation

Then everyone jumped on it even when I stated over and over again that it wasnt true. And I still have to ask you stop telling untruths about me and my posts

Can you not just please leave it. I was told to try not posting and that maybe the attacks would cease.

But when people post out and out lies and untruths about me I will respond until people stop ok

 

[justjoinedtopost]

There is nothing more heart wrenching to see than the ramblings of a broke white knight.



xx

 

[Deleted member 37064]

There is nothing more heart wrenching to see than the ramblings of a broke white knight.



xx

 

[Mintx]

lol wait why are you trying to be like "all the cam modelz in here are good" while also going "ur being mean" then trying "all the menz in here are mean"?

what are you taking and can i have some?

 

[n_i_c_u]

Anoncamguy just cannot stop responding.

I think this is the crux of his problem: the need to respond. Good or bad, there is always a response by the op.

So when a model texts him there is a response back and then the model responds back and then there is a response back.

If, the model, trying to do a good job as an attentive listener and responder (maybe she isn't blessed with lots of people throwing cash at her) keeps trying to engage and the op is compelled to engage because of a pavlovesque kind of conditioning, the op, not being able to separate his feelings from his actions because of the social media syndrome (I termed it: where one can't help but to respond), is almost forced to respond because of brain algorithms connected to any kind of internet activity?

This could actually become a thing I think.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Anoncamguy just cannot stop responding.

I think this is the crux of his problem: the need to respond. Good or bad, there is always a response by the op.

So when a model texts him there is a response back and then the model responds back and then there is a response back.

If, the model, trying to do a good job as an attentive listener and responder (maybe she isn't blessed with lots of people throwing cash at her) keeps trying to engage and the op is compelled to engage because of a pavlovesque kind of conditioning, the op, not being able to separate because of the social media syndrome (where one can't help but to respond), is almost forced to respond because of brain algorithms connected to any kind of internet activity?

This could actually become a thing I think.

Maybe the OP doesn't like constant insults which the OP doesn't deserve

 

[Marceline]

TLDR version

I'm in a situation where a professional relationship/friendship/more???? with a model has become very intense for a while and the relationship fantasy has become so out of control I don't know what is real with her any more. And I care so much for her (and the other women I meet online) I don't want to hurt them.

But I think the recent model I have been seeing is either the best actor in the world in terms of relationship fantasy or I am going to have to really hurt her feelings

I am finding it impossible both in terms of the real and constant personal communications we have all the time (all hours), as well as potential financial problems with becoming entrapped by a beautiful wonderful model.

What do you say to end that situation with someone when you think it probably isnt real but it may be.

The friend I have is a Cam girl I met online many years ago. I know her husband and her family anfd her baby. We are friends. I also give her free pscyh counselling when she needs it

You my friend and the other asshole are just a couple of trolling assholes.

don't think I've ever come across such a rude community of people who just seem to get their jollies and overcompensate their inadequacies by attacking, insulting and belittling people

What a bunch of losers,

Just because some dickhead asked if I was a professional you all run around like chickenswith your heads chopped off.

How about when she messages me every 5 minutes and won't leave me alone and bombards me with photos and wants to know what I'm doing every 5 minutes

I have successfully managed to get my card blocked from all the sites so I can genuinely say I have no access even when I want to see her.
I saw her one last time online for reasonably long time so I didn't just leave her and I tried to explain.
We are still communicating via other means but I am hoping that when the money stops everything else will and that it won't blow up in any way and she will leave me alone and not tempt me anymore

 

[n_i_c_u]

Maybe the OP doesn't like constant insults which the OP doesn't deserve

I was just trying to come up with something.

Dude, there are other topics here.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Maybe the OP doesn't like constant insults which the OP doesn't deserve

There is one option which the OP needs to consider:

 

[anonCamGuy69]

TLDR version

What are you trying to say Lydia. You are not being helpful by grabbing a few quotes out of context of the whole thread. Do you want me to go through and grab all the insults and inaccuracies against me

 

[RebelleHart]

I'm really late to the party here, but I wanted to help clear something up for the OP. You are wondering why people have honed in on whether or not you are a mental health professional. Here is why and to be even more clear, I have bolded the really important bits:

The friend I have is a Cam girl I met online many years ago. I know her husband and her family anfd her baby. We are friends. I also give her free pscyh counselling when she needs it

even as a psych its hard to tell what is real sometimes (especially across the internet)

But if anyone really did know anything about mental health professions, nothing I do would have any confict of interest attached. That is assuming I had any professional standing.

It has nothing to with the situation I asked about. Its irrelevant. Nobody is giving anyone any professional services. You think a professional person doesn't know that.

Who said I was a practising professional in this situation. read the thread. Everyone is off on an irrelveant tangent. There are no professional servces being provided by me to anyone in this situation.

I thought confidentialiy was important in your industry as it is with my clients.

PS You do know that professional people using seek counselling about their own problems. They don' t counsel themselves. Its not really possible to do that effectively. That is assuming I were a practising professional which I neither confirm nor deny and its irrelevant anyway.

And sometimes I have to help with very serious situations as a friend using my expertise.

I wouldn't get far i my industry if I abused my clients and despised them and had a load of rude dickheads on my website who aren't even in the industry

At one point you asked "Who said I was a practising [sic] professional in this situation[?]" The answer is, you did.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

I'm really late to the party here, but I wanted to help clear something up for the OP. You are wondering why people have honed in on whether or not you are a mental health professional. Here is why and to be even more clear, I have bolded the really important bits:

[QUOTE="anonCamGuy69, post: 887323, member: 30514"]I wouldn't get far i my industry if I abused my clients and despised them and had a load of rude dickheads on my website who aren't even in the industry

At one point you asked "Who said I was a practising [sic] professional in this situation[?]" The answer is, you did.[/QUOTE]

And you are making assumptions about what industry I am in an what sort of service I provide to my clients. As I said. Everyone is making assumptions based on someone drumming a falsehood. I never said I was a practising professional mental health worker of any description. If you read the thread you will see I neither confirmed nor denied it because it is nobodies business what I do

 

[Deleted member 37064]

And you are making assumptions about what industry I am in an what sort of service I provide to my clients. As I said. Everyone is making assumptions based on someone drumming a falsehood

There are AT LEAST three people whom have pointed out that your comments have made it appear you are a professional therapist, counselor, etc.

You were calling others the asshole. Perhaps this should apply here:

 

[RebelleHart]

At one point you asked "Who said I was a practising [sic] professional in this situation[?]" The answer is, you did

And you are making assumptions about what industry I am in an what sort of service I provide to my clients. As I said. Everyone is making assumptions based on someone drumming a falsehood. I nver said I was a practising professional mental health worker. If you read the thread you will see I neither confirmed nor denied it because it is nobodies business what I do

Yes, I did make an assumption based on the quotes I included above as well as your strangely angry and vehement denial. It lent a "The lady doth protest too much, methinks" vibe to the whole thing. Care to correct my assumptions?

Edited to add: if you are a mental health professional and you are giving unethical psych care to a "friend" who also provides sex work to you if is very much the business of the American (or whatever country you are licensed in) Psychological/Psychiatric Association. I imagine they wouldn't be too thrilled about that.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

OP my advice is-turn off your phone, go outside, grab coffee, watch a movie, play with dogs-anything that doesn't involve the internet/phone. I've changed my phone number once to get rid of an obsessive ex and it worked wonders. I advise no contact at all. No 'communicating in other ways' because sorry, yes she will tempt you again-and it's not all her fault either. You are a participating party in this cycle and it won't stop unless you quit the drug completely so to speak. Communicating in any minimal way will only make it harder. You say she is obsessive but you appear to be so as well (And no I'm not saying that to be mean I'm saying that based on your posts-I can be an obsessive person as well).

I am currently engaged & living with one of my members I met on a cam site and believe me, if a cam model is serious about wanting more there would be no cloudy reality vs fantasy happening. I made a beeline for him & he moved out here. I didn't string him along and put him in emotional/financial ruin.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Yes, I did make an assumption based on the quotes I included above as well as your strangely angry and vehement denial. It lent a "The lady doth protest too much, methinks" vibe to the whole thing. Care to correct my assumptions?

Dear Rebelle

And you are making another incorrect assumption that just because someone gets upset at having their confidential private and professional life pried into, that somehow that makes your assumptions about who they are and what they do true. Do you think I would let anyone know who I really am. Clients and models need confidentiality. It seems your industry doesn't care about that

 

[RebelleHart]

Dear Rebelle

And you are making another incorrect assumption that just because someone gets upset at having their confidential private and professional life pried into, that somehow that makes your assumptions about who they are and what they do true. Do you think I would let anyone know who I really am. Clients and models need confidentiality. It seems your industry doesn't care about that

No, I never said the assumption was true. I just showed you why the assumption was being made by so many people. That's on you and your communication skills.

However, if it is true, I can understand why you would be so cagey about it due to horribly unethical it is. I imagine it would get you in hot water with the Psychological/Psychiatric Association of your country.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

OP my advice is-turn off your phone, go outside, grab coffee, watch a movie, play with dogs-anything that doesn't involve the internet/phone. I've changed my phone number once to get rid of an obsessive ex and it worked wonders. I advise no contact at all. No 'communicating in other ways' because sorry, yes she will tempt you again-and it's not all her fault either. You are a participating party in this cycle and it won't stop unless you quit the drug completely so to speak. Communicating in any minimal way will only make it harder. You say she is obsessive but you appear to be so as well (And no I'm not saying that to be mean I'm saying that based on your posts-I can be an obsessive person as well).

I am currently engaged & living with one of my members I met on a cam site and believe me, if a cam model is serious about wanting more there would be no cloudy reality vs fantasy happening. I made a beeline for him & he moved out here. I didn't string him along and put him in emotional/financial ruin.

Thanks for getting back on topic. As I said I am still in the trying to ignore my phone mode and I agree with you. It doesn't make it any easier. As I have being trying to point out people are making assumptions that emotions and feelings don't enter into this

Thanks anyway

 

[anonCamGuy69]

No, I never said the assumption was true. I just showed you why the assumption was being made by so many people. That's on you and your communication skills.

However, if it is true, I can understand why you would be so cagey about it due to horribly unethical it is. I imagine it would get you in hot water with the Psychological/Psychiatric Association of your country.

You can imagine what you like Rochelle and keep making incorrect assertions if you want to. It doesn't make it true just because you believe it. And I would only get into hot water with a professional association if I ever behaved unethically. And discussing my clients on a board such as this would be unethical in any industry, except perhaps the sex industry