guy every day 1.5 hours

[joe40]

Hi all

A question to the models:
When you have a guy day by day 1.5 hours in prv. Mostly talk.
How much private information you give? Does he becomes your real friend? How big is the chance to fall in love?

(its not me, just curious ;-)

 

[DeezNA]

- No private information.
- "Real" friend is a relative term.
- I'd like to meet any statistician who could predict any chance of falling in love with anyone with any certainty.

Camsites are not dating sites, they are interactive adult entertainment. If talk is your entertainment, there's a private for that! If dating is "your friend's" goal, try OKCupid or Tinder or ChristianMingle or something, I don't know what the kids use these days... grumble grumble...

I think that covers everything, unless anyone else wants to chip in their two cents.

 

[ThePrincessLuxy]

I think if a question of falling in love is being considered then he is in the wrong place. He should try a dating site.

I have had members that dropped hundreds every other day and spent lots of time with me and I'm never going to feel that way for them. I have had a member I met in a night and within a few days I was considering meeting him because I felt so strongly for him.

Money will buy you time with us but you can't buy our love.

 

[gonegirl2352]

Speaking from experience, I have a reg like this and it got to the point where I did fall in love but not in the way he wanted. There is a reason why they are called Sugar Daddies. I felt more obligated, grateful, protected and in a way, safe with him. Much like a parental/offspring sort of vibe.

I had to stop with the intense, long Skype shows with him and decided to shut down my indie sites to prevent more guys like him because it was detrimental to my placement on big box sites. In a way, shows with him were more draining then a busy shift on a big site so I knew I had to stop with the Skyping. It is better now that he can only get to see me through the big sites. A lot of camgirls probably think I am stupid to have handled it this way but, it turned out better overall because now the money goes to helping placement and my pocket rather than me being completely dependent on him for the majority of my earnings.

 

[Serenity_Tam]

In real life I know what love is. Inara_Song doesn't have that capability. She just wasn't programmed for it.

I would never disclose any more private info than I do in public, being one on one with someone doesn't change that someone is still talking to Inara_Song.

Inara_Song is however programmed for friendship, a cool friendship existing on the internet and digital world. There are members for me I would consider very supportive friends. It's not because they have been in a million pvts, that has little affect on that tbh.

 

[joe40]

Thx so far. Just a short attchement to my question from my.mobile device. Lets say round about 3000 usd per month from one guy... How big will be the depency you are into this guy... Dangerous isnt it?

 

[Ann_Sulu]

@joe40 Sigh...look generally speaking, not many camgirls want to be dependent on anyone. That's the main reason many of us get into camming, since we're in charge of who we deal with. We don't have to worry about a person going crazy assuming they financially own us, or we feel as if we can't live on our own. Sure, some camgirls or other types of sex workers might keep a guy around who pays them a ton, but if he's just trying to control or manipulate her she won't stay for long as soon as she has another option. I've too have had big tippers before who I've banned for being assholes after I was receiving enough tips from others to balance it out.

 

[mynameisbob84]

If you're paying a cam girl $3000 a month in the hopes that she falls in love with you... don't do that. Join a dating site and blow $3000 on extravagant dates instead. It'll be a much more productive use of your time and you stand a far, far better chance of "finding love" that way.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I'm asking for a "friend"

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I had to stop with the intense, long Skype shows with him...In a way, shows with him were more draining then a busy shift on a big site so I knew I had to stop with the Skyping.

If I am not being too nosy, what do you mean when you say the long skypes were draining?

 

[CherryChu]

If a guy wanted to give me $3000 a month and spend a lot of time with me - that's cool. I will very much appreciate the patronage and as long as he's nice and we get on then I can enjoy the time as well. Just as long as he doesn't expect anything more than that. I may tell a couple of more private stories or thoughts but no more private 'info' as such, than I would in public chat. And the member does not own me because of his contributions - he has my attention for that hour a day or whatever, but only because he's paid for it and only if he's being respectful. You could pay me the most humongous amounts of money but if you're an ass about it I'm shutting you down. We have to retain a degree of anonymity and distance for our safety, so most camgirls probably wouldn't open up completely to anyone no matter what. And remember, we project a certain persona on cam - whether it's totally different to our real life selves or just an exaggeration - so you can think you love a camgirl, but not really know anything about the real person behind the persona.

 

[CherryChu]

There are levels of friendship and closeness - not necessarily more or less, but different - and the way camgirls feel for their clients isn't going to be the same as they would feel for a colleague at a regular office job, or for an extended family member, or an old classmate, or anything from real life. It's just different

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Is this dude really trying to buy friendship/love? Like come on man. Friends aren't people you pay money to entertain you or that you can control with money. If you want real friends or a girlfriend, get out more. Camsites are fun but I feel you are going about it the wrong way op.

 

[AmberCutie]

If I am not being too nosy, what do you mean when you say the long skypes were draining?

I'm not the person you were asking, but figured I'd share my experience on it. Back when I did private shows, the ones where people wanted to really share a connection and have deep conversation were much more tiring on me in an emotional/mental way than some of the long shows in which I was merely expected to diddle myself. When you're presenting yourself as a persona which is a fantasy version of yourself, it can be very tiring to have long, one-on-one conversations because you have to be 150% "on" in terms of paying attention to what you say, how you say it, not lead anyone on, but still be personable and engaging.

Playing with dildos is easier.

 

[DeezNA]

I'm not the person you were asking, but figured I'd share my experience on it. Back when I did private shows, the ones where people wanted to really share a connection and have deep conversation were much more tiring on me in an emotional/mental way than some of the long shows in which I was merely expected to diddle myself. When you're presenting yourself as a persona which is a fantasy version of yourself, it can be very tiring to have long, one-on-one conversations because you have to be 150% "on" in terms of paying attention to what you say, how you say it, not lead anyone on, but still be personable and engaging.

Playing with dildos is easier.

I don't offer hardcore privates... but @joe40 , if your friend still has extra pocket change and is looking to make a new 'friend', I'd be glad to schedule some private time... just sayin... Bonus - if you aren't into dudes, you don't have to worry about this whole "falling in love with her" thing you're sweating your nuts off about.

P.S. I couldn't find a "half-sarcastic shameless self-promotion" smiley... so here's a cyclops.

 

[VeronicaChaos]

I always think it's so weird the number of guys that use camsites as dating sites but think actual dating sites are for losers. Dating sites are fucking awesome.

 

[Shaun__]

I always think it's so weird the number of guys that use camsites as dating sites but think actual dating sites are for losers. Dating sites are fucking awesome.

Dating sites might be awesome for women who have thousands of men chasing them on the site, but not so much for the men doing the chasing. Well over ninety-nine percent of the women I talked to on several sites I used to belong to never even acknowledged I was alive, and the teeny tiny handful of women who did talk to me all lived thousands of miles away.

 

[VeronicaChaos]

Dating sites might be awesome for women who have thousands of men chasing them on the site, but not so much for the men doing the chasing. Well over ninety-nine percent of the women I talked to on several sites I used to belong to never even acknowledged I was alive, and the teeny tiny handful of women who did talk to me all lived thousands of miles away.

99% of the guys that chase after me are men I wouldn't be caught dead with. Filled inbox of creepy messages. Why even bother talking to people thousands of miles away if relocating isn't an option? On okcupid you can change your settings so you only talk to locals with a certain match %.

It's a patience/number/timing game for both genders. I mean, for every guy I've found to date...there's a guy that found a girl to date too. besides, the last person I connected with was someone I sent the first message to.

It's a tough game out there for sure. You never know until you try, it seems silly to think they're dumb before giving it a shot and jumping straight to camsites instead.

 

[Shaun__]

99% of the guys that chase after me are men I wouldn't be caught dead with. Filled inbox of creepy messages. Why even bother talking to people thousands of miles away if relocating isn't an option? On okcupid you can change your settings so you only talk to locals with a certain match %.

They were contacting me, with no interaction from me. I always set area limits, then the sites would ignore them. I think there is an insufficient number of atheist in the bible belt, so the sites would automatically spread the net further afield for me. It is always possible they were fake accounts run by the sites, to keep customers interested, they have been caught doing stuff like that sometimes.

It's a patience/number/timing game for both genders. I mean, for every guy I've found to date...there's a guy that found a girl to date too. besides, the last person I connected with was someone I sent the first message to.

It's a tough game out there for sure. You never know until you try, it seems silly to think they're dumb before giving it a shot and jumping straight to camsites instead.

I agree using a cam site as a dating site is silly, but I would still flirt with a woman I met there if I really liked her. Not because I expect anything out of it, but because you never know when you will find someone who thinks you are the bee's knees.

My experience with dating sites made me think they were just no good for me though, I am going to try going on a cruise later this year. I have always heard the men to women ratio is much better on those than most places. So I am playing the numbers game I guess, last man on the boat and all that stuff.

 

[DeezNA]

On the topic of dating sites - my best friend met her husband on OKCupid, they've been together for something like 5 years now, have a daughter and are awesome for each other, so it's not a total bust. My personal luck has been less than optimal (not just on OKC, other services as well); a series of no matches at all for long stretches of time, no responses to contact or great conversation and then they spontaneously drop off the face of the earth... what's up with that, by the way?... but I sorta pin my luck on the fact that I live in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere, so my experience may not be a lot of help for reference.

To segue back into the main topic while still retaining the dating aspect - I've had regulars whose private sessions with me were essentially "practice" in flirting with men they find attractive: to build self-confidence, to get feedback on their presentation, to feel more comfortable in their skin. These gentlemen were young and just coming out of the closet, so it honestly was a very mutually beneficial experience. It was awesome to see their self-confidence grow and I would always encourage them to get out there and apply what they were "practicing" with me in the "real-world". Experiences like those are a huge part of why I love this job, but it should definitely be noted that it is not a service that every model chooses to offer.

The key to this working in my experiences (beyond me stating "yes, I'm straight and yes, I'm okay with you flirting,") was the very overt, up-front, on-the-table understanding that even if I was sexually attracted to men, the client and myself would never date. It is simply never an option in my book with all clients of all genders and sexual orientations. End of discussion. If you know me, you know I'm very blunt and that is something I make extremely clear to clients.

So, if it helps OP out at all, as has been suggested by several people... there's nothing wrong with having sessions with a model to help you learn how to date, but having a primary goal to date the model should never be an expectation, in my opinion. They're an entertainer; a service provider. You don't buy dinner at a fancy restaurant, become friends with the chef and then build some expectation that they will eventually come home with you and be your unpaid, live-in chef simply because you eat there a lot and became buddies.

 

[gonegirl2352]

If I am not being too nosy, what do you mean when you say the long skypes were draining?

Draining in every way .

 

[Sansa]

They were contacting me, with no interaction from me. I always set area limits, then the sites would ignore them. I think there is an insufficient number of atheist in the bible belt, so the sites would automatically spread the net further afield for me. It is always possible they were fake accounts run by the sites, to keep customers interested, they have been caught doing stuff like that sometimes.



I agree using a cam site as a dating site is silly, but I would still flirt with a woman I met there if I really liked her. Not because I expect anything out of it, but because you never know when you will find someone who thinks you are the bee's knees.

My experience with dating sites made me think they were just no good for me though, I am going to try going on a cruise later this year. I have always heard the men to women ratio is much better on those than most places. So I am playing the numbers game I guess, last man on the boat and all that stuff.

Yes, that is exactly what happens where there are no to precious few in your area when you search with specific criteria. But I am going to help you out a little.

So you are looking for a specific type of woman that generally does not fit into the culture that you live in. You have three options:

1. Sometimes it really is about location and not the individual. If being an atheist is something that is a requirement in a partner, and if having a partner is important to you, then you need to move to an area where religion is less prominent. No arguments or excuses. You cannot expect everyone around you to change themselves for you.

2. If you don't want to move or can't move, then you have two options left. Broaden your horizons. So you've found that there aren't any atheists in your area, and that's important for you. Maybe start being a little more inclusive in your searches. Some people take their listed religion very seriously, other don't. Some worship deities, some just like the community aspect of it. Some grew up Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc. and merely identify with the culture, but don't actually believe in a god. You're not going to know how seriously someone takes their religion until you actually get to know them.

3. And your last option is to keep looking for that rare gem of a person who fits every single trait you've ever dreamed of. By doing this, you are excluding tons and tons of women, so don't be surprised when they exclude you because you don't fit their exact criteria.


.

 

[Shaun__]

Yes, that is exactly what happens where there are no to precious few in your area when you search with specific criteria. But I am going to help you out a little.

So you are looking for a specific type of woman that generally does not fit into the culture that you live in. You have three options:

1. Sometimes it really is about location and not the individual. If being an atheist is something that is a requirement in a partner, and if having a partner is important to you, then you need to move to an area where religion is less prominent. No arguments or excuses. You cannot expect everyone around you to change themselves for you.

2. If you don't want to move or can't move, then you have two options left. Broaden your horizons. So you've found that there aren't any atheists in your area, and that's important for you. Maybe start being a little more inclusive in your searches. Some people take their listed religion very seriously, other don't. Some worship deities, some just like the community aspect of it. Some grew up Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc. and merely identify with the culture, but don't actually believe in a god. You're not going to know how seriously someone takes their religion until you actually get to know them.

3. And your last option is to keep looking for that rare gem of a person who fits every single trait you've ever dreamed of. By doing this, you are excluding tons and tons of women, so don't be surprised when they exclude you because you don't fit their exact criteria.


.

My net was wider than atheist and I am actually a spiritual person in my own way, but religion is a very important facet of a person's life. I understand that it is important for both people to respect the other's belief the best that they can. I was mainly trying to find someone who did not think I was going to burn in hell until the end of time, next to the sodomites and various heathens.