Genuine concern for someone's wellbeing

[donnie123456]

Dear all


I'm a bit anxious about posting but I have genuine concerns and fears for a model I have known for years, been very close to, one of her main users

She had been getting sick. Also was having problems with her page and technology and had been offline for a while due to tech problems

We talked every day for two years. But for the first time ever she has been completely offline on all tech for over a day and no messages
I'm not naive but we were genuinely very close nd talked about a lot and supported each other and discussed our problems and stresses and hopes
That's why I am so worried

I am genuinely concerned for her wellbeing and very sad

I appreciate there could be any number of reasons and I appreciate the sensitivity and privacy issues

What do you think I should do

I feel so responsible for a number of reasons and I wasn't there for a few hours when she messaged me. She's not the kind of person to get upset over that
Also she was such an independent and undemanding person she wouldn't even have wanted to make demands even if she needed them

Broken heartedxxx

 

[MarlieJane]

Give her some space.

 

[donnie123456]

That's what we usually do but for her to disappear when very sick and offline from work etc

You get to know the pattern of how people behave after 2 years - it could just be that or a dead or lost phone but I am geuninely concerned

 

[tokensarentforkids]

a day? her mom probably wouldn't expect to be able to reach her. And the truth is you are just a "user"

 

[donnie123456]

I really love the genuine care some of you lot have for someone who could be lying their dead

Some of you make a big thing about being these professional business people but some are just obnoxious shits

And some of you are clearly confused about who usually uses who

But since I am too far away I won't be checking the local emergency or calling an ambulance

 

[yummybrownfox]

Dear all


I'm a bit anxious about posting but I have genuine concerns and fears for a model I have known for years, been very close to, one of her main users

She had been getting sick. Also was having problems with her page and technology and had been offline for a while due to tech problems

We talked every day for two years. But for the first time ever she has been completely offline on all tech for over a day and no messages
I'm not naive but we were genuinely very close nd talked about a lot and supported each other and discussed our problems and stresses and hopes
That's why I am so worried

I am genuinely concerned for her wellbeing and very sad

I appreciate there could be any number of reasons and I appreciate the sensitivity and privacy issues

What do you think I should do

I feel so responsible for a number of reasons and I wasn't there for a few hours when she messaged me. She's not the kind of person to get upset over that
Also she was such an independent and undemanding person she wouldn't even have wanted to make demands even if she needed them

Broken heartedxxx

She's talked to you everyday for two years. Give her some breathing room. Especially if she's been sick, and having tech issues. Every cam model deserves to have days off (Completely OFF from all things sex work)...without expectations of making small talk...answering questions...etc.

 

[AmberCutie]

obnoxious shits

If she realizes you created an account on a forum just to panic to strangers about how she managed to not be available to contact for a single day, I feel like she might call you this. I know I would.

Give her some space.

^^this

If she's really not feeling well, she may not want to talk to cam site members, even ones she is extremely friendly and overly-chatty with.

 

[AmberCutie]

Pro-tip in general:

If a model has not given you her real contact information (home address, phone number, name, etc) then she does not wish to be contacted when her cam-related contacts are shut off.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

She deserves time to chill if she’s dealing with issues. Chatting with any member even if you’re on great terms and friendly is still work and doing it daily for 2 years is a LOT. Anything could have happened in her life and if she wanted or needed you to know I’m sure she would have found a way to tell you. I’ve had members I spoke to with daily for long periods of time and when I would step back due to my own personal life one in particular freaked out. I think it’s crossing the line to contact a hospital especially if you don’t know her in real life, have her personal info she’s willingly given you.

Of course we’re not heartless assholes who think it’s fine if shes in distress—it’s just there’s no way to ethically tell you to butt into her real life world and “check if she’s okay”. Some models leave camming suddenly for whatever reasons, some take breaks, some models are sick, some models don’t want to talk to anyone etc— there’s too many factors here and it’s honestly not your business. We’re not “obnoxious shits” for telling you the reality of your relationship before telling you to panic , assume she’s dead and call an ambulance because she’s not talking to you. Take a step back. She’s not obligated to be plugged into her job 24/7 and it sounds like she has been for a very long time. She could be completely burned out. She could just be needing a break.

No one is going to advise you to butt into her privacy and personal life so idk what kind of replies you expect here. That doesn’t mean we think it’s fine if something DID happen to her—it means there isn’t anything we can advise you to do without it being boundary crossing especially since we don’t know her side of the story. Hell, I even would feel weird suggesting the cam site company themselves to check in on her.


Also if you’re heartbroken after ONE day of no contact I seriously think you need to calm down. This is not at all normal or healthy. The only people in my life that it wouldn’t weird me out about if they worried that much about me after a day would be my own mother & live-in boyfriend.

 

[donnie123456]

Maybe people should know more about the nature of the relationship, the people involved and what has been going on running up to the disappearance before lecturing somebody. And not its not a panic. No Im not some naive ignorant. I'm used to some of the obnoxious attitudes on here. I know some are genuinely considerate and caring people
It still is a genuine question as to how you could support someone or what channels are (are not available) for some of those in the industry (models and clients) if there is genuine concern for someone

Also people mocking the concept of how someone feels after losing someone they genuinely is quite obnoxious

I will talk to the nice people. Thankyou

I am actually already coming to terms with the fact that I will probably never hear from them again or even know what happened

Maybe show a bit of heart sometimes

But yes, I know details that could help me but the extent of our accepted communication is phone and cam site. But if both are dead for tech reasons (and not other reasons) its tough

I'm a bit concerned fro the nature of the messages that I wasn't there for her at a ctrtical time. Its just strange but there are many explanations of course

 

[Marceline]

Generally when someone is feeling sick they like to sleep or rest. I know when I'm sick or just feeling unwell I ignore my phone and try to sleep it off. Especially if I'm having "tech issues".

If someone, whether that be a family member, boyfriend or friend, got upset enough to make a thread about it on a forum with other people who share the same job as me after not being able to contact me for a day, I'd reevaluate my relationship with them and more than likely take a step back from that person. If it's someone who I've never met in real life who doesn't even know my real name, I'd more than likely cut ties.

That sort of behavior is not healthy. It's not healthy to think that just because someone has gone a day without speaking to you that they are dead. If you haven't heard from her in weeks, then I can see maybe being a bit upset, but in the end it's much more likely that she just doesn't feel like talking to you or has just decided to cut ties with the adult industry completely rather than something actually bad happening to her. If you truly cared about her and her privacy, you'd let it be.

 

[donnie123456]

PS You can't have it both ways. After years discussing plans and seroius investments and business and life. And then shit on someone when they raise concerns

PPS And I know it means nothing to most people on here and of course they would be mocking the sucker who bought it but she wore my valentines jewellery with everyone she had sex with

PPPS Not everyone are these hard obnoxious people. Some of the models I've dealt with (maybe different culture) are actually lovely people who are nice to you when they rip you off

And its a strange way to dump someone etc

 

[throwawayacc71]

There is really nothing you can do, or even should do.

and did you say one day in 2 years? the poor woman is probably burnt out from working so hard.

 

[donnie123456]

Sorry if I sound upset and reacted

Sometimes some people's attitudes are upsetting

 

[donnie123456]

There is really nothing you can do, or even should do.

and did you say one day in 2 years? the poor woman is probably burnt out from working so hard.

As I said you don't know the whole story which I am not going to divulge. Do you think I'm some ignoramus like many of the posters on here

But what she has been going through including not being able to work, other stresses and illness are what make someone who genuinely cares genuinely concerned

 

[donnie123456]

Another thing that upsets me is that those in wealthier countries do not even think or care about impacts on lack of opportunity for those in other countries. They even get in the way of genuine capital investment and support

Of course she could be multimillionaire sitting in a penthouse laughing and pretending all these years. But why pretend that shit

Maybe she has enough data for her PhD. Of course nobody would be that unethical

 

[Marceline]

PS You can't have it both ways. After years discussing plans and seroius investments and business and life. And then shit on someone when they raise concerns

PPS And I know it means nothing to most people on here and of course they would be mocking the sucker who bought it but she wore my valentines jewellery with everyone she had sex with

PPPS Not everyone are these hard obnoxious people. Some of the models I've dealt with (maybe different culture) are actually lovely people who are nice to you when they rip you off

And its a strange way to dump someone etc

I'm going to say this in the nicest way I can possibly think of, the only person being obnoxious in this thread is you.

What sort of response did you honestly expect when making this post? Did you think anyone here would encourage you to butt into her private life? To blow up her phone? To try to find out personal information about her to make yourself feel better? The overall response was to leave her alone, and that it's not normal to get this upset over ONE day of not hearing from someone. Hell, I don't even talk to my best friend or my mother every single day and I sure as hell don't think that they're dead or want to send in the cavalry if they don't respond to me in a day or two.

No one is mocking you, we're just being honest and you didn't like the response. Also, I highly doubt anyone here cares about whether or not she wore jewelry you bought her during sex (which is a strange flex and sounds more like something a model would tell a good spending regular to make him feel good so he'll spend more money, but okay).

And also, you weren't dumped. You obviously aren't in a relationship with her. She went one single day without speaking to you, someone she knows solely from the internet. If you do not see how strange and clingy everything you have posted in this thread has come off, then you really need to take a step away from the internet and definitely just leave this model alone until she wants to get back in touch with you.

 

[AudriTwo]

Thanks for clarifying OP.

You should really give and respect her space

 

[MarieElise]

I don’t understand why you would be this dramatically concerned. However I also don’t understand why either of you has talked to each other every single day for 2 years. There is not one single person in this world who I have talked to every single day in the last 2 years, who is not in the same house as me. Where in the name of God does anyone find the energy for that?

From my perspective, that would require super human powers.

 

[donnie123456]

But hey I'm getting over it


Not some loser to care about a worthless model

Now I have more money, fewer fake promises and dreams and less stress in my life

And she now has enough to buy her luxury apartment for her much better looking young fiance

 

[yummybrownfox]

You insulted the members of this forum by calling us "obnoxious shits." You know what's obnoxious? When a member writes on here like it's a Dear Abby advice column, only to get upset with us for taking time out of our day to answer your question (You asked "What do you think I should do?"). I guess you were hoping we all were going to tell you "Just keep messaging her, bro! Try, try again!" If anyone in this thread had told you that, that would've been bad advice, my friend.....

 

[throwawayacc71]

As I said you don't know the whole story which I am not going to divulge. Do you think I'm some ignoramus like many of the posters on here

But what she has been going through including not being able to work, other stresses and illness are what make someone who genuinely cares genuinely concerned

I never said that, I just don't know what advice you want.
it's fine to be concerned, but give it time

 

[Marceline]

Here's to OP's model hopefully living her best life in a penthouse suite with her hot fiancé.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Went from "genuine concern for her well-being".....to her being a "worthless model." Yikes.....

 

[Carmita Bonita]

Went from "genuine concern for her well-being".....to her being a "worthless model." Yikes.....

lmao right but we're the ones with no heart or care for others

 

[AmberCutie]

Went from "genuine concern for her well-being".....to her being a "worthless model." Yikes.....

That's how it goes, right?

We point out that she might actually be "taking a day or few off "work"" and now she's a waste of his time.

It always hurts so much when members realize that the attention they've been paying for is our work.... oof.

 

[yummybrownfox]

lmao right but we're the ones with no heart or care for others

He must've met her on a token site. Lol. No disrespect to token sites...BUT when I cammed on private-based sites like ImLive and Streamate, there was none of this "My world will crumble if I have to go one day without speaking to her" overly attached nonsense. Usually, guys on there (The ones who actually spent some money) would take you private...bust their nut...and leave (often without saying goodbye ). This clingy, overly attached stuff is more of a token site thing. Members spend lots of time in a model's public chat getting to know her. And now some of them feel like it's appropriate to ask their model friend creepy shit like....."What's the name of the hotel where you'll be staying when you're in New York...and the room number? I want to have flowers sent to your room."

 

[GraysonDrake]

Maybe people should know more about the nature of the relationship, the people involved and what has been going on running up to the disappearance before lecturing somebody. And not its not a panic. No Im not some naive ignorant. I'm used to some of the obnoxious attitudes on here. I know some are genuinely considerate and caring people
It still is a genuine question as to how you could support someone or what channels are (are not available) for some of those in the industry (models and clients) if there is genuine concern for someone

Also people mocking the concept of how someone feels after losing someone they genuinely is quite obnoxious

I will talk to the nice people. Thankyou

I am actually already coming to terms with the fact that I will probably never hear from them again or even know what happened

Maybe show a bit of heart sometimes

But yes, I know details that could help me but the extent of our accepted communication is phone and cam site. But if both are dead for tech reasons (and not other reasons) its tough

I'm a bit concerned fro the nature of the messages that I wasn't there for her at a ctrtical time. Its just strange but there are many explanations of course

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Read this for fuck's sake. It's about Twitch streamers but the gist is the same for camgirls. In fact, it's MORE relevant for camgirls.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

That's how it goes, right?

We point out that she might actually be "taking a day or few off "work"" and now she's a waste of his time.

It always hurts so much when members realize that the attention they've been paying for is our work.... oof.

It just shows the hypocrisy that it was never about genuinely caring about her or being worried about her---it was about her not being there for him whenever he wanted her to be there to give him the interaction and attention he feels entitled to. Now that he sees she's an actual human with a life & not at his beck and call....she's suddenly worthless. And this all unraveled in a day which is actually pretty scary.

 

[MarieElise]

Every 2 days it feels like some dude's here going off because we're "obnoxious shits" or were all "mean" or whatever. I'm not trying to be a smart ass or a perv, but have y'all tried maybe messaging each other? Maybe you might enjoy each other's company if you know what I mean. Just seems like the logical next step to me. You guys (who're all pissed like that) can soothe and nurture each other's emotions and all that, and cut us out of it. Sorry if that's a controversial thing to say, but just a thought.

Y'all can relate to each other and provide each other with the support that you're looking for. Since the cost-free support we give is never good enough.
Seems logical to me.

That way you'll feel understood, supported, and less lonely, and we can all get a break from it...
Win win.
Don't knock it till you try it