Former Cam Girl with Regret

[superscarcg]

Hello,

I've been looking around for someone to talk to about this. First of all, I have no problems with cam girls and I give you full respect for being so confident. Now, onto my story:

My friend was a pretty successful camgirl and told me about it. I was intrigued, so I talked to my boyfriend about maybe trying it out. He was a little iffy so I decided to do it for myself. The first time, I wasn't too comfortable and was a little scared to really do too much. But the money I made was decent so I decided to do it a few more times. After about 4 times, I stopped completely and never looked back. I wasn't very popular and I didn't even make enough to have to file taxes on the earnings. A couple days ago, I decided to actually go fully delete the Chaturbate account and to my horror found videos and screenshots many different places. Naively, I thought the few times I did it were just that and would be forgotten. Now I'm anxiety ridden and am terrified of someone finding me and realizing what I did. It wasn't for me, and I felt like I didn't value my body, and I've had extreme thoughts concerning what I'd do if it affected my career or my family saw me. (I'm going into an education field.)

In the video, I wore a wig. I blocked out my home states and surrounding ones. I didn't use any personal names or info besides height, weight. However, I let a few personal info bits slip up (My cat was meowing so I called him his real name) but nothing too serious. I wore extreme makeup. But I'm still terrified.

I realize I only have myself to blame. I made a choice, a serious one, and didn't think through the consequences. I thought about how I was broke and nothing else. I never thought someone would want to record me or put something like that out there. I was naive, underprepared, irresponsible, and now I'm paying for it. I just want to know, how do I move forward from this? I know things cannot be deleted forever, but can there be a lot of material with it only being done 4 times? I've found some videos on sites but most of them are behind paywalls and on Russian sites, is this a good thing for me? Are DMCA services worth the money?

I apologize if this sounds whiney. I have been an emotional wreck for the past 3 days staying up all night looking for content. I just don't what to do and how to get over this feeling of my life being over because I did this a year ago.

 

[JickyJuly]

Sorry to hear that camming didn't work out for you. If your dream is to work with children, it's probably for the best. As long as googling your real full name doesn't bring up any videos, I'd probably leave it. It sounds like it's stressing you out a good deal. To put things in perspective, Bill Clinton jizzed on a 20 something girl in the white house, smoked an ass cigar and still managed to retain his career. You will survive. This, however, could be a good learning experience. In the future if you feel the need to hide your face with makeup and your hair with a wig before doing a thing, that's a good sign it's not something you should do.

 

[Sevrin]

How did you find videos by going to delete your CB account? And ones behind paywalls, yet?

Anyway, if you haven't deleted the account yet, you should check out this post from Shirley@CB

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... 33#p617033

 

[superscarcg]

I googled the username to get to Chaturbate and found them in the images/ in the results. I did delete the account but I emailed Shirley to see if she could help me and provided info about when I cammed and what the name is. Has anyone heard of Piracy Pitbull? But yes, I'd love to work with kids, and I have absolutely no idea why I thought doing this was a good idea when that is my dream... Nothing is tied to my real name or location as far as I know and I don't really look like myself in the pictures and videos I saw but I really just want as much as I can get rid of gone forever. Do you think it being a year ago will heighten the chances of content being buried?

But I totally agree with you that it's a learning experience. I should've known from the beginning that it was NOT something I'm comfortable with. I'm just worried this learning experience will ruin my life.

 

[MFCGod]

There's probably millions of screen caps of random cam models

I doubt anyone will be looking you up or sharing your videos really if you only cammed for a few days, that is unless you were really sensationally good looking (you may well be, but that's not the picture you've painted from your post) or you did something particularly unusual/extreme whilst on cam

Hopefully you can get the content removed

If not, I understand it's not ideal and a little scary, but realistically you can be reassured by the fact it's going to be a one in a billion chance anyone you know would ever come across it.

The worse thing that will ever come from this is 99.999999% likely to be the worry you're putting yourself through right now.

 

[superscarcg]

I'm okay I guess, I'm petite but not anything amazing. In the videos my cat was meowing like he was a tortoise having sex so I feel like that lowers the quality. I found one video on Pornhub but it had zero views so that made me feel a bit better. All I did on stream was talk/play video games for like 45 minutes and then actually masturbate for like 30 minutes. I didn't do anything all that exciting and you can barely hear me in the one video I watched besides when I'm yelling at my cat.
I tried going through the content I found and filing DMCA notices, but on some of the sites instead of deleting the content they just blocked my IP address, so I'm considering a DMCA service.

Thank you MFCGod, I really appreciate the kind words from you and everyone else. I realize the risk is quite small, but just the idea of it being out there makes me feel really sick. I just wanted to have a little fun and then have that be that yknow? I've found about 5-6 download links under my username and a few forum posts but nothing crazy like my friend who has links on every site. Hopefully someday technology comes out that refuses recording of the material.

EDIT: I've also googled my name and haven't found anything unsavory related to it. I'm a little worried because Chaturbate requires your real info when you sign up, so is that all well protected?

 

[Sevrin]

Whatever you do, don't give your real name or primary email account when dealing with these sites. Russian ones are a waste of time altogether.

 

[superscarcg]

Now... Unfortunately I did to one site, uploaded.net. But they took the video down without any questions so idk if I'm in a pickle now.

 

[Airwolfe]

If it was only uploaded.net you gave your real name and email address to then you should be A-OK.

Uploaded.net is a 100% legit file hosting business. I have been a premium member there for years.

Uploading any type of porn is against their TOS anyways. They would have deleted the file themselves if they would have found it.

They honor all legitimate DMCA take down requests.

 

[superscarcg]

Okay thank you, that makes me feel better about it. I gave a different address and email but put my real name (slightly misspelled). I also contacted ChillingEffects and I'm going to contact Uploaded to ask to remain anonymous if they let out the DMCA. They were the only one, everything else I gave my fake cam name and made up random addresses.

 

[CharlotteLace]

EDIT: I've also googled my name and haven't found anything unsavory related to it. I'm a little worried because Chaturbate requires your real info when you sign up, so is that all well protected?

Chaturbate will not release your personal information. So in that regard, your security is protected as much as it might be through other websites. So unless there's a big security hack or something like that.

I'm sorry this is so distressful for you, and hopefully your videos are all taken down. Just brace yourself that once it's on the internet, it's there forever, in some tiny little corner of the web. The likelihood of one obscure video finding its way back to your identity is pretty minimal, though, so don't lose sleep over it. Definitely take this as a learning experience to thoroughly research possible consequences of doing things that aren't socially acceptable in some circles.

Hope it all settles down for you.

 

[StrayObject]

meowing like he was a tortoise having sex

 

[superscarcg]

Thank you guys. I deleted the email and card I used with Chaturbate. I made all my Facebook and other accounts private and removed personal information, removed the name of my cat that I said in the video, removed any pictures of me in the same shirts as I was in the videos, reverse-image searched any screenshots of me I found (I never EVER used the same pictures from fb/on chaturbate). Deleted any pictures of me not on Facebook (all of those are private). I tried to remove my last name from most services I use. I'm in the process of having my information removed from all those public record sites and changing my IP to the Google public DNS or whatever. I didn't give out any personal information besides the general location of my state (West/East/Midwest etc.) because it was dark, but you can kind of see my basement so I'm going to look for pictures of me in there and delete those too. I did use an email that I used for other things to sign up for a twitter account/Chaturbate I made but I only used it for a week before I shut it down and there was no personal info on it, I only made one tweet. That email is deleted now though. It didn't have any of my real name type stuff in it though. I'm going to get a DMCA service Monday, so hopefully they're legitimate and can help me.

I know this is kind of a paranoid response but I just want this all to be over. Hopefully even if they're on some random corner of the internet no one will care about it since it's been a year since I did anything.

 

[Airwolfe]

Damn you intending to run for President in 2016?

 

[superscarcg]

Haha no even worse, in the education field in a couple years. Just wanted to make sure I cover my bases.

 

[dilligaf0]

Unless you have something specific to identify yourself in the videos / pictures (like an unusual tattoo), if someone would say "you look like someone I've seen on the internet", just pass it off as "it's not me....must be someone that looks similar to me".



As long as your real name can't be connected to it, don't worry and let it stay where it's at.


In the long lost past.

 

[superscarcg]

I just realized my real birth date was on my info part of the bio, should that be a lot of concern? I don't have it displayed on any pages I use personally. Now I'm freaking out again... u_u

 

[Gen]

I really don't think it's worth freaking out about. The chances that someone who knows you and would find that are really very slim - and you can just deny it, saying it's someone's similar looking. Even way less likely, imo, that out of the countless number of camgirl videos out there, someone will find your and be totally determined to discover your real identity.

Honestly I think you've done what you can do, and I wouldn't lose sleep over it now. I bet you'll be okay!

 

[superscarcg]

With the videos, they were all recorded from ones I streamed as far as I know. I didn't have any for sale or anything like that. Could they get my IP address from those?

 

[superscarcg]

Okay guys, I think I made a major fuck up and I can't stop shaking.
When I went to upload a PDF for Upstore to remove the links (which was fucking pointless because they didn't) I didn't realize the name of my mother was under the properties section of the PDF, I use her Word account.
How bad is this? Should I call the cops? I'm being ridiculous I know, but the risk to me is far less than possible risk to my family. We don't share the same last name but google shows very personal info about her. I am a miserable wreck, I don't want them to hurt my mother and I've heard of the sites harassing people who put out DMCA requests.

 

[MFCGod]

Try and take a step back and take a look at everything logically

Everything is fine

It's not going to affect your real life.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Chill, Winston. Nothing you do in life is completely risk-free. You can't so much as walk to the shops without the remote risk of being mugged or ran over. And yes, camming will always leave you open to the risk of being outed. But you've already done everything you can to reduce that risk and chances are, you'll be fine. Obsessing over it isn't going to help. It's only going to make things worse. For your own sake, just take a step back, and attempt to look at the situation with some clarity, and not through a thick haze of fear and paranoia.

- The videos of you camming that may (or may not) be out there feature you wearing a wig, excessive make-up, etc. Chances are, if someone you know/an employer did stumble across them, they wouldn't even recognise you. And even if they did, you just say "no, that's not me".

- Your birth day alone isn't going to lead to someone tracking you down.

- Chaturbate, for all their flaws, are a real, functioning, law-abiding company. They won't leak your info. And if they do, you'll be able to sue them. Quite possibly for so much money, that you won't ever have to work again, meaning you won't need to worry about any of this.

- Your IP address won't lead anyone directly to you.

- The chances of someone harassing your mother because her name was attached to a DMCA is slim. Very slim. It happens, but usually when numerous DMCA's are submitted, or if the capper already has a personal dislike for that model. Chances are, the capper/hosting site don't know (or care) who you are, and assume that your mother's name is in fact your name. Meaning, were they to run a Google search on your mother's name (highly unlikely), they would be looking for someone who looks like you, and not someone old enough to be your mother.

The absolute best thing you can do is step far, far away from your computer and attempt to get on with your life. The chances of this coming back to haunt you are minimal. The more you obsess over it though, the more likely it becomes that someone will think "man, this chick really doesn't want her info and videos out there... I wonder what she's hiding...". So just stop, yo :thumbleft:

 

[RubyDimples]

I wouldn't worry about someone finding you and to be honest this interwebz is so literred with pornography.

Someone finding you would be slim.

 

[superscarcg]

Thank you guys.
After some much needed sleep, I realize you all are very right. I have spent so many hours obsessing over every video and link I've found that I'm pretty sure I'm legitimately going insane. When I saw that I was dumb enough to include her name with the document, it pretty much sent me over the edge with fear. So much info could be found that way, and ironically my obsession with keeping it locked up put it out it in the open. I decided to just order the DMCA service and leave my computer alone for a couple of days.
I really appreciate all your help. Maybe soon I can come back and talk as a normal former cam girl instead of a crazy paranoid depressed one. If something happens, there's always the police, some guns, and denial.

Many thanks.

 

[AnneDVille]

OP, chill out! You cammed 4 times, you didn't kill anyone.

I know how that level of paranoia can feel... I've been there... But just take a chill pill. Calm down... think about what's the worse than can happen? And then calm down.

Hey... you can die just by walking down the street to buy milk (it happens). Does that stop you from getting milk? It doesn't. WW3 can start at any moment (I don't watch the news, but when I do it just reminds me how shit everything is), does that stop me from making plans? It doesn't. Life is this beautiful monster of unexpected things. Just go with the flow. And don't let fear ruin your dreams. You wanna teach? Go and teach? You might get found on the internet? Sure! Does it matter? Fuck No! Because you pursued your dream!