Don't Be Intimidated, It Does No One Any Good

[RogueWarrior]

I lifted this out of another thread because I found the exchange quite interesting.

I'll be honest about ACF models, and I'm fully aware that I'm about to air some personal insecurity, and I'm about to come off as a total jerk and weirdo, here, but this is the truth:

I have to psych myself up to join ACF model rooms, because they seem way out of my league. There are definitely some models on these forums ("some" being an understatement) that I like very much, but nine times out of ten, I talk myself out of dropping in and saying "hi", because I get that high school geek insecurity like what happens when the popular girl smiles at you in the hall, and all you can think is, "is there something on my face -- do I smell funny?" and then you start hyperventilating, and the algebra teacher sends you to the nurse's office. So, instead, I just hang out under the MFC bleachers, with the girls who smoke clove cigarettes and wear black lipstick and obscure concert t-shirts, and who hate their stepdad, Steve, who is threatening to send them to an all-girl Catholic private school if they don't straighten up their behavior and start to dress and behave like a respectful young woman.

So, yeah, I prefer a model with a low room count and a bit of world-weariness in her eyes. Even moderately popular girls are just too daunting for me.

Haha, I sort of feel the same way. It's not so much that I'm afraid they won't say hello, because that doesn't usually seem to be a problem, but it's just daunting when you have a model who is already established and has a ton of regulars, and they all have a rapport with each other and then you come in trying to join in. It's awkward, like being that guy who tries to join a conversation at a party: "Hey, whatchoo guys talking about?"

With a new model or one with a lower room count, conversation tends to be easier.

I kinda get it and am sorta baffled. The following is just a synopsis on my MFC experiences. Of course no two are alike, this is just me.

As far as ACF models are concerned, I have no problem going to their rooms, saying hi and dropping a tip. Going into their rooms does not intimidate me. For some I hang around longer than others. But my ACF and MFC are compartmentalized. For reasons I won't get into now.

Every time I've been in an ACF model's room, they seem to appreciate a familiar name. (Or else, they fake it very well. For all I know they're glad I don't stay around too much.)

As far as them being "out of my league"? Yeah, maybe, on some level. But we are all human beings here (and there). All with our own flaws and outstanding qualities.

To the other part of the above exchange, going into to an established models room with lots of regs? Well, that's a bit different. But I'm not scared to play that game either. A comment can definitely be lost in public chat, but very rarely is it lost in a tip note. (Pro tip there.)

As far as feeling awkward about jumping in? I've found that models do have a rapport with their regs and I'm not going to get everything right away. But they also appreciate "new blood", so to speak. Quite frankly, it's not in their best interest to run off potential new tippers.

You might be surprised at how well popular models respond to new (to their room) members who tip and talk and aren't douchebags.

I've stated elsewhere that I am purposefully not a "regular" with any model. But I do visit certain models on a regular basis, i.e. whenever we are both on MFC I will drop in, but I don't hang out for hours on end. Most of those are in the 1.5 to 3k camscore range.

However, a couple of models are north of 8k camscore. As expected, their rooms are quite busy and somewhat hectic at times. But even though I'm not a regular, I've spent enough time (and tokens) that whenever I do drop by, they always acknowledge me. I'm not saying that to brag or to say I'm an awesome member, because I'm not. I'm an idiot.

I'm just saying, that in my experience, if you're at least decent and are willing to break out the tokens, even if just a 10 token tip, the models will appreciate it. And don't worry about the incessant chatter that's going on. Sure, pay attention to it, jump in where appropriate, but don't let it keep you from experiencing a fantastic model.

Models: If I'm wrong, feel free to set me straight. This has just been my experience. I know it's unique to me, that everyone's experience is different.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I think it's good that everyone wants something different. Myfreecams with the camscore system is a harsh place, it's pushing everyone to go to the top rooms. Many members never stray off the first page. Many only bother to click next model a few times before finding a room to settle in.

This is why it's good that there are members who'd rather not go to the top rooms. Who don't enjoy a busy room. Because if there were none then it'd mean that no lower camscore model could ever manage to gain new exposure and get her score up. It'd also mean that most of the models with low camscore's would simply have to quit, because if all members enjoyed visiting higher camscore models then no one would visit their rooms at all.

There is generally a reason why models have high camscore's. Sometimes it's just because of one or two individual members, for which they are very fortunate for, but for the most part it's a majority of people who like a certain model and the way she runs her room. It's also, let's face it, a lot about looks. I think the highschool analogy is quite a good one, but for most I think it's more that on myfreecams members can approach the popular girls, and have the popular girls appreciate them.
It is the same for almost everyone, you might actually prefer speaking to someone who's less popular, but talking to someone who everyone loves and thinks is cool does make you feel good. And there's usually a reason popular people are popular, and it's generally because of charisma. To hold everyone's attention good looks and even a good personality isn't always enough, you need to be charismatic.

I for one glad that there are members who don't wish to visit more popular model's rooms. That they feel they can get something from less popular models. I also hope that these members won't suddenly ditch those models if their popularity and camscore goes up, just like I'd hope a member wouldn't leave a popular model's room if her camscore drops. I personally don't give my best regulars any more or less attention than I did when I was a lower camscore model. The only thing that I try and do less of is logging into mfc homepage and talking loads, but that's because it was using up most of my time and giving me migraines from too much computer use.

 

[RogueWarrior]

Izzy, all very good points. But that was not what I was getting at. Personally, I frequent rooms that are not on the first page because sometime I want more individual attention.

I was saying don't be intimidated by models just because they are more established (i.e. higher camscore) or post here on ACF. Not abandon your personal preferences.

Hell, one of my favorite models has a camscore that hovers in the 300's. I go there because I like her. Not because she has a low camscore. Just like I visit other models because I like them, regardless of camscore.

I'm not disagreeing with a single word you said, just clarifying.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I know what you meant, I'm just saying any reason that gets people to prefer visiting and tipping lower camscore models, whether it's because they find more popular models intimidating, or because popular models don't have enough personal time, I think it's all good! Otherwise you'd get everyone crowding into a few rooms, which pretty much happens as it is!

Although I don't think there's a reason to be nervous of speaking to higher camscore models, their regulars started out in the same position any other member were in, I still think it's not something that bothers me because even though I'm not a hugely high camscore model, I still do a lot better and find camming a lot easier now than when I had a score of around 2000. So really any members who want to visit lower score models is good!
I mean as much as I'd love everyone to rush to my room and tip me loads, I do pretty well for myself and really don't think I'm struggling, there are other girls who could do with those guys more than me and definitely there are plenty who deserve it more than me.

 

[Nordling]

And not to mention but ACF models run the gamut in regard to camscore/placement on the list, and by reading the ACF models' postings, you should be LESS intimidated...they're all real, live warm-blooded humans!

 

[Gerien]

The only reason I get intimidated visiting ACF model rooms is because of the intellectual level of their posts here. I worry sometimes that if I am having a conversation with them I might come up with a blase and stupid response. Its one thing carefully crafting what you type in a forum post with no time restraint and another having to come up with an intelligent response constantly. :-D

 

[Sevrin]

Excellent post RW. The point about making comments in tip notes was especially right on the money, as it were. You can have quite a long conversation in 10 or 20 token tip notes, and get added to friends lists a LOT faster than you might expect, no matter the room count.

Camscore is *never* an indicator of how much a member will enjoy a model's company. It's all about the person. And it is certainly not an indicator of how smart or decent or beautiful she is. There's more to a person than how well she performs on web cam, although that may affect how long she will be around.

Just remember that this is where she earns her livelihood, and paying the rent is her priority. If that means she leaves her room for a private or jumps through hoops for someone you may not think "worthy of her", it's just business, not personal, and the lady is still the amazing person you thought she was.

 

[CharlotteLace]

If that means she leaves her room for a private or jumps through hoops for someone you may not think "worthy of her", it's just business, not personal, and the lady is still the amazing person you thought she was.

I can't thank that hard enough. I've had demanding regulars get upset when I would go private on slow nights. :?

I will say that I tend to get all shy and nervous when ACF people come by. Whether it's another acf girl or a regular member, I get this stupid blushing grin on my face and just giggle. So, don't think you're the only one intimidated sometimes!

 

[pg240]

The only reason I get intimidated visiting ACF model rooms is because of the intellectual level of their posts here. I worry sometimes that if I am having a conversation with them I might come up with a blase and stupid response. Its one thing carefully crafting what you type in a forum post with no time restraint and another having to come up with an intelligent response constantly. :-D

Excellent point, but it's just the opposite for me. I'd like to think I'd gravitate toward them because of their ability to converse intelligently about a wide array of topics. It's pretty cool when a room topic soars beyond cute emotes and open boobs bb. And to take your point a step further, this forum (and camming in general to a certain extent) helps blast a myth right out of the water that sex workers are in it because they can't do anything else. I've met many educated, intelligent models here and at MFC and Streamate (and ifriends in the early days). When you factor in the fact that many models support their schooling by camming, this segment of society may skew quite higher than average on the intelligence meter. As a practical matter, you get a pretty face (or even more) to look at while you're discussing probability or evolution or politics or computer science. I know that's rare, because people don't click open a cam site for those reasons. But it happens, and it's pretty cool when it does.

But the main reason I search ACF at MFC is because of the sense of community fostered here. I know they'll be welcoming and knowledgeable about their craft.

 

[pg240]

I know what you meant, I'm just saying any reason that gets people to prefer visiting and tipping lower camscore models, whether it's because they find more popular models intimidating, or because popular models don't have enough personal time, I think it's all good! Otherwise you'd get everyone crowding into a few rooms, which pretty much happens as it is!

Although I don't think there's a reason to be nervous of speaking to higher camscore models, their regulars started out in the same position any other member were in, I still think it's not something that bothers me because even though I'm not a hugely high camscore model, I still do a lot better and find camming a lot easier now than when I had a score of around 2000. So really any members who want to visit lower score models is good!
I mean as much as I'd love everyone to rush to my room and tip me loads, I do pretty well for myself and really don't think I'm struggling, there are other girls who could do with those guys more than me and definitely there are plenty who deserve it more than me.

I have on occasion clicked through the pages at MFC and visited models with extremely low cam scores. All too often, however, I'm disappointed and find there's a reason for their scores and their placement. Many of them are not friendly or conversant -- often because of a language barrier. And often there's a real disconnect between the photo you click to open a room and the face you find there when it does open. But I have found a gem or two, and it's definitely worth it to expand your horizons by getting off the front page. Everyone has to start somewhere, and it feels great to give a helping hand -- and receive great entertainment in return -- to a model who is working hard to get her business off the ground.

 

[zippypinhead]

I could respond to this thread with some long-winded post detailing all of my reasoning for feeling the way I feel, or acting the way I act, but in the end, all that doesn't matter. I'm entitled to feel the way I feel, and to act the way I act. My behavior is a reflection of my own interface with camland, and nobody else's. If I feel somewhat intimidated by the thought of interacting with the smart, savvy, and beautiful women of ACF in a less formal setting, then that's my own hangup. I don't think I deserve to be browbeaten over it. To clarify, though, I'm not talking about feeling unwelcome. I have certainly stopped in and hung out with many of the ladies who frequent these forums, and they have always been warm and welcoming to me, and perfectly charming. But you can feel welcome and still feel out of place in a situation. I go and hang out where I don't feel out of place, and it's as simple as that.

 

[RogueWarrior]

I don't think I deserve to be browbeaten over it.

That was never my intent and apologize if that is how you took it.

Really, I just found the exchange that I quoted in the OP as intriguing. And I had some feelings of intimidation, shyness, whatever when I first started on ACF and MFC. The intent of my post was more to inform those that were unsure/shy/new/etc. Not to chastise.

The exchange quoted just got me to thinking about that and best illustrated the point I wanted to make.

Again, I apologize if it was taken the wrong way.

 

[Anonymous]

The only reason I get intimidated visiting ACF model rooms is because of the intellectual level of their posts here. I worry sometimes that if I am having a conversation with them I might come up with a blase and stupid response. Its one thing carefully crafting what you type in a forum post with no time restraint and another having to come up with an intelligent response constantly. :-D

I can see what you mean. There are some very intelligent people on this forum, which is great but can also make it a little intimidating participating in some of the threads. And I'm not just referring to models, but members on here too. You smart cookies, you!

 

[zippypinhead]

I don't think I deserve to be browbeaten over it.

That was never my intent and apologize if that is how you took it.

Really, I just found the exchange that I quoted in the OP as intriguing. And I had some feelings of intimidation, shyness, whatever when I first started on ACF and MFC. The intent of my post was more to inform those that were unsure/shy/new/etc. Not to chastise.

The exchange quoted just got me to thinking about that and best illustrated the point I wanted to make.

Again, I apologize if it was taken the wrong way.

It's cool. You used the subject as a jumping-off point to dispense with some solid advice, which I tend to agree with, by the way. I just figured that since I was being held up as the example, I should make myself understood.

 

[Jupiter551]

Personally, I havent had much time lately for perving in general, but when I do I often search 'acf' in tags if no one I know is on.

Much of the time I'll just browse anonymously cos I've only got maybe 10 or 15 minutes and not intending to fap (or spend) so not going to go into the room of a girl I know of from the forums - because I feel like it's disruptive to step in for a short while, and then awkwardly say goodbye.

That may be more my perception of the 'situation' of visiting a new room under those circumstances than that of any particular model - but yeah that's my perspective anyway.

 

[CallMeWilliam]

I wonder if it's more about a models regular members that makes it intimidating than the model herself. I know for a fact that there are a couple ACF models who's regulars always jump at the chance to attack and crucify new members for making simple naive comments to the model and other regular members even when the model is more forgiving. That is only compounded when (regulars) they act out on the forum as well.

I would bet that some regulars are more intimidating than the models themselves...

:twocents-02cents:

 

[Jupiter551]

I wonder if it's more about a models regular members that makes it intimidating than the model herself. I know for a fact that there are a couple ACF models who's regulars always jump at the chance to attack and crucify new members for making simple naive comments to the model and other regular members even when the model is more forgiving. That is only compounded when (regulars) they act out on the forum as well.

I would bet that some regulars are more intimidating than the models themselves...

:twocents-02cents:

I dunno, I suppose so, I don't find that though. Maybe I'm more willing to just get amongst it and mix with the regs, I don't find it intimidating or perhaps I just haven't stepped into 'that' room yet

 

[Ann_Sulu]

I wonder if it's more about a models regular members that makes it intimidating than the model herself. I know for a fact that there are a couple ACF models who's regulars always jump at the chance to attack and crucify new members for making simple naive comments to the model and other regular members even when the model is more forgiving. That is only compounded when (regulars) they act out on the forum as well.

I would bet that some regulars are more intimidating than the models themselves...

:twocents-02cents:

I dunno, I suppose so, I don't find that though. Maybe I'm more willing to just get amongst it and mix with the regs, I don't find it intimidating or perhaps I just haven't stepped into 'that' room yet

I find it can go two ways (from a model's POV that is ): either the member goes waay out of his way making everyone uncomfortable (a part of white-knighting) or the member is just hopping into chat, and maybe occasionally dropping useful advice to other members. If it's the second I don't mind, but when someone makes a member uncomfortable to be in my chat...yeah kinda makes me uncomfortable as well.

 

[Just Me]

I wonder if it's more about a models regular members that makes it intimidating than the model herself. I know for a fact that there are a couple ACF models who's regulars always jump at the chance to attack and crucify new members for making simple naive comments to the model and other regular members even when the model is more forgiving. That is only compounded when (regulars) they act out on the forum as well.

I would bet that some regulars are more intimidating than the models themselves...

:twocents-02cents:

There are numerous rooms like that. If a new member pops in the room and says anything vaguely sexual or a compliments the model in a way the regulars don't like, they jump all over them. There are a few models that I think have lost many tippers due to the way their regulars behave towards some of the new people in their room.

 

[RogueWarrior]

I wonder if it's more about a models regular members that makes it intimidating than the model herself. I know for a fact that there are a couple ACF models who's regulars always jump at the chance to attack and crucify new members for making simple naive comments to the model and other regular members even when the model is more forgiving. That is only compounded when (regulars) they act out on the forum as well.

I would bet that some regulars are more intimidating than the models themselves...

:twocents-02cents:

There are numerous rooms like that. If a new member pops in the room and says anything vaguely sexual or a compliments the model in a way the regulars don't like, they jump all over them. There are a few models that I think have lost many tippers due to the way their regulars behave towards some of the new people in their room.

I'm pretty much with Jupiter on this one. I guess I also have never been in "that" room. Or maybe I just don't give a shit what other members think.

Other than a simple "hello" or something similarly innocuous, my first first interaction with a model is through a tipnote. 10 tokens. $1.00. If I'm not willing to spend that much, I shouldn't be on MFC. Or at the very least, on MFC with my premium account. And then after getting rounds of applause from all the regs, there is a lot more leeway given for idiotic comments.

Seriously, though, if that's a problem, learn to read profiles. Sometimes useless, but sometimes provide a wealth of information.

Eh...........

 

[SexySteph]

I wonder if it's more about a models regular members that makes it intimidating than the model herself. I know for a fact that there are a couple ACF models who's regulars always jump at the chance to attack and crucify new members for making simple naive comments to the model and other regular members even when the model is more forgiving. That is only compounded when (regulars) they act out on the forum as well.

I would bet that some regulars are more intimidating than the models themselves...

:twocents-02cents:

There are numerous rooms like that. If a new member pops in the room and says anything vaguely sexual or a compliments the model in a way the regulars don't like, they jump all over them. There are a few models that I think have lost many tippers due to the way their regulars behave towards some of the new people in their room.

If a member is complimenting a model in a way that most of her regs take issue with than he might need to evaluate how he is complimenting her. Generally if the first thing a member says to me is a sexual "compliment" like "Mmmm, your pussy looks good" they get banned. If they say it in a tip note they might get to stick around but even vaguely sexual compliments from someone who's never tipped me are generally unwelcome. Like rogue said, if you can't afford 10 tokens you probably don't need to be on a camsite.

 

[zippypinhead]

I wonder if it's more about a models regular members that makes it intimidating than the model herself. I know for a fact that there are a couple ACF models who's regulars always jump at the chance to attack and crucify new members for making simple naive comments to the model and other regular members even when the model is more forgiving. That is only compounded when (regulars) they act out on the forum as well.

I would bet that some regulars are more intimidating than the models themselves...

:twocents-02cents:

There are numerous rooms like that. If a new member pops in the room and says anything vaguely sexual or a compliments the model in a way the regulars don't like, they jump all over them. There are a few models that I think have lost many tippers due to the way their regulars behave towards some of the new people in their room.

If a member is complimenting a model in a way that most of her regs take issue with than he might need to evaluate how he is complimenting her. Generally if the first thing a member says to me is a sexual "compliment" like "Mmmm, your pussy looks good" they get banned. If they say it in a tip note they might get to stick around but even vaguely sexual compliments from someone who's never tipped me are generally unwelcome. Like rogue said, if you can't afford 10 tokens you probably don't need to be on a camsite.

But even that's gotta be somewhat contextual. You run a more conversational room, so it makes sense that, even if you're sitting around naked and chatting, a bit of an articulate greeting is the proper entree. But, hypothetically speaking, if I find myself in a room where the model's spread pussy is filling the screen -- whether it's because a show is going on or it's because she's just one of those models who makes sure to position herself in front of the camera in a way that shows what she was born with, down to the last millimeter -- I'd be a bit nonplussed if a sexual comment was met negatively.

Just as members come in different flavors, so do models. And to be even more on the nose, it so often depends upon moods and situations. I wouldn't think of coming into Steph's room and behaving like a slavering caveman, because that's not her game. I've even left as she's gotten naked or started a show, just because my poor brain can't handle seeing someone so put together and just plain awesome get down and dirty. (What can I say? I'm broken. :dontknow: ) But there ARE models who I have sought out and found who DO fulfill my desire to behave a bit more animalistically toward their bodies. I maintain a relationship with a model or two where the entirety of our conversations simply consist of her asking me about all of the naughty things I want to do to her, and me describing them as we both get off. It also happens to be a very fulfilling relationship for me, and one that I value just as much as with those models who I can hang around and chat with for hours on end. For me to tell her how alluring I think her intimate lady parts are, even in public chat, is not going to be a major issue, whether her other regulars like it or not. That's the context of our relationship. That's who she is to me, and that's who I am to her. And that context changes from room to room, and from day to day, or even from hour to hour, really.

 

[Diana Blake]

I've been intimidated by models before but I think it's a little different for models being intimidated by other models. It becomes a lot less a feeling of "Wow, she's so pretty and charming" and more "Damn, that girl knows how to put on a show! And her lights are amazing! Teach me your ways oh glorious one!" This is why ACF is such a good retreat for models looking for advice. However, there are times when the friendly amazing feeling of unity we have here in ACF isn't reflected as well in real life.

A good example of this was one of the adult conventions I went to. There were lots of models all hanging out in the MFC booth and some that I recognized as high camscore and, well, "famous" camgirls. I am a generally friendly, loud and out-going person and with the opportunity to meet some of the girls I idolized I jumped right into introducing myself to other models and trading info for possible work together. Well...I tried to anyway. Some of them were very easy to approach and talk to, others didn't acknowledge you if you were below their camscore.

I don't think members see that side of the camscore very often but there's a sort of classicism that exists for some camgirls. For some reason they feel that their camscore separates them from the rest and they can't be bothered to even trade polite hellos with those below their score. I get that it's business and the people you want to talk to are the ones that have a fanbase that can help you but it was...terrifying for me when my mere 2000 score meant I didn't even merit an acknowledging hello when I'd introduced myself. It really bulks up that "Out of my League" feeling and creates an almost crushing anxiety to even approach other models. I'm Southern by birth and that traditional southern charm and etiquette was drilled into me at a young age. When someone refuses the common pleasantries I was taught were part of civilized life I feel like I'm being told I'm not human. That I deserve less acknowledgement than the family dog. It's not a good feel.

I've seen it from the other side as well, models hanging out in the booth staring at models they obviously recognize and would love to approach but just can't. That feeling of "Why did I come here? No one even knows who I am." written all over their faces. As well as the models that are high earners and are just not used to real people anymore, or are overwhelmed by the crowds. Social anxiety is easy to defeat when there aren't any faces or sweaty palms, but in a convention center with thousands of people I've seen models used to handling four digit room counts clam up with a deer in the headlights look. We've forgotten how to deal with people outside of the internet.

Now that I'm in full on ramble mode (3:30 in the morning) I think a big part of this fear is society. We're not a society that asks the cute girl at the coffee shop for her number anymore. We're not the type to ask for a stranger's help in a crowded store. Only creeps and stupid people would do that, right? We've got our smart phones and instant messaging and dating sites and we just don't have to deal with real people anymore. Pretty much the moment you're out of high school you don't have to deal with people ever again if you don't want to. But then you get to a site like MFC and there are REAL, LIVE girls talking to you. Friendly, beautiful girls that make you laugh and make you think and holy crap she's actually talking directly to you! It's overwhelming. It feels good but holy crap, this isn't what life is like anymore.

There's so much anxiety on both sides of approaching someone new. There's the fear in the models eyes that you're going to be a huge creeper and then the fear in the members eyes that this is going to be the exact type of embarrassing exchange as you find in 90s high school films or Bad Luck Brian memes. But for the most part, RogueWarrior is right, there's no reason to be intimidated because we're here to be friendly and interact with you. There won't be one of those shy guy approaches popular cheerleader girl scenes, it's just going to be a bunch of people that are all probably a little shy in their own way all hanging out and having fun with the occasional boobie jiggle or naughty diddle.

 

[candyblues_mfc]

I didn't realise this was an issue for any of the viewers! I spend most my time feeling like the shy one haha that I forgot there would be any pressure on the viewers to say hello.

I love meeting new people and having people chat in the room! Regardless of tips, MFC would be boring as FUCK without the conversation.