Sorry If this seems like a pathetic question but I've never been sexually active and I've been thinking about this kind of stuff lately.
Last edited:
AmberCutie's Forum
An adult community for cam models and members to discuss all the things!
Do you think sex is overrated?
- Thread starter Guy
- Start date
-
** WARNING - ACF CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT **Only persons aged 18 or over may read or post to the forums, without regard to whether an adult actually owns the registration or parental/guardian permission. AmberCutie's Forum (ACF) is for use by adults only and contains adult content. By continuing to use this site you are confirming that you are at least 18 years of age.
- Status
Nordling
V.I.P. AmberLander
If someone is obsessed with it, like a drug, yeah, overrated. If someone has an average love of sex, but not obsessive, then no, not overrated.
Guy, the only rating that matters is yours. If it's something that you want/need (like most, but not all people), then you need to make it happen (or let it happen). But don't try to fool yourself into believing that you don't need it as a way of avoiding making it happen.
Also, hanging around Internet forums like this is not a way to make it happen.
Also, hanging around Internet forums like this is not a way to make it happen.
I think losing one's virginity is overrated, so I guess my answer is yes. Most people's first time is a mess. Emotionally, physically, and egotistically. We're taught that sex is this super fucking amazing thing that makes every problem you or the world has completely disappear while you're whisked off onto some rollercoaster in the clouds. But sex doesn't do that by itself. Yeah, the physical release is nice, but it's not going to just fix everything.
If it's your first time, you're going to be clumsy, awkward, and so overwhelmed by the new sensations that you're probably going to climax after just a few minutes. BUT, sex is still enjoyable, especially if you find someone to share an emotional bond with.
A good description of the difference in sex being just sex or sex being a physical and emotional 2-bodies-becoming-1 thing is like this:
You can go to the movies and watch something you've been DYING to see by yourself: still fun, still awesome. But if you take your best friend or someone who shares in your sense of humor, it's more fun and more awesome. Yes, the movie is still the same. But the experience changes. That's how sexual acts are. They're like masturbating (same end result), but they can be more fun/awesome if you don't go into it looking for your whole world to be changed afterwards. It won't change you. It won't fix your problems. It is simply a physical release that can have emotional ties to someone else.
*not everyone wants/needs romantic or emotional feelings during sex. That's ok too. I was just trying to give the same advice I've given my younger siblings. Don't jump into something you're not ready for simply cause you think it's going to be this mind-altering interplanetary experience.
If it's your first time, you're going to be clumsy, awkward, and so overwhelmed by the new sensations that you're probably going to climax after just a few minutes. BUT, sex is still enjoyable, especially if you find someone to share an emotional bond with.
A good description of the difference in sex being just sex or sex being a physical and emotional 2-bodies-becoming-1 thing is like this:
You can go to the movies and watch something you've been DYING to see by yourself: still fun, still awesome. But if you take your best friend or someone who shares in your sense of humor, it's more fun and more awesome. Yes, the movie is still the same. But the experience changes. That's how sexual acts are. They're like masturbating (same end result), but they can be more fun/awesome if you don't go into it looking for your whole world to be changed afterwards. It won't change you. It won't fix your problems. It is simply a physical release that can have emotional ties to someone else.
*not everyone wants/needs romantic or emotional feelings during sex. That's ok too. I was just trying to give the same advice I've given my younger siblings. Don't jump into something you're not ready for simply cause you think it's going to be this mind-altering interplanetary experience.
yummybrownfox
Cam Model
- May 24, 2015
- 7,468
- 2
- 15,362
- 293
- 42
- Twitter Username
- @yummybrownfox
- MFC Username
- Yummybrownfox
- Clips4Sale URL
- https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/50037/oh--so-yummy-
No, I don't think that sex is overrated, but other people may feel differently. Maybe they've had too many disappointing experiences...maybe they've done the same old thing at 9:00 every night after the kids are in bed, and they've become bored with it...or some other reason(s).
Sex may be amazing with one person, and then just okay with the next person. I think that for most people, even if you have one of those "It was just okay" experiences, you still look forward to doing it again in the future (maybe with someone different) because it feels good, it's something that comes naturally to two people who are attracted to each other, and then there's that anticipation/excitement of what it's gonna be like this time (which can be both exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time).
There was a Seinfeld episode called "The Move" where they're talking about some mysterious sexual move that Jerry Seinfeld used on the ladies, and he was pissed to hear that some other guy "stole his move." Lol. There was also a Seinfeld episode where George Costanza combined sex and food (He'd be under the sheets eating a sub while having sex...LMAO). Man, I love Seinfeld reruns.
I think the movie Concussion was overrated, and I think Brad Pitt (as an actor) is overrated. But I absolutely do not think that sex is overrated.
Sex may be amazing with one person, and then just okay with the next person. I think that for most people, even if you have one of those "It was just okay" experiences, you still look forward to doing it again in the future (maybe with someone different) because it feels good, it's something that comes naturally to two people who are attracted to each other, and then there's that anticipation/excitement of what it's gonna be like this time (which can be both exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time).
There was a Seinfeld episode called "The Move" where they're talking about some mysterious sexual move that Jerry Seinfeld used on the ladies, and he was pissed to hear that some other guy "stole his move." Lol. There was also a Seinfeld episode where George Costanza combined sex and food (He'd be under the sheets eating a sub while having sex...LMAO). Man, I love Seinfeld reruns.
I think the movie Concussion was overrated, and I think Brad Pitt (as an actor) is overrated. But I absolutely do not think that sex is overrated.
It depends on what you're expecting from sex. When I was in my late-ish teens, I kind of obsessed over what it would be like and built it up in my mind to the point that when I finally did it, it was completely underwhelming. But then the more that you do it and the more comfortable you become with your kinks and what you like and don't like and the more attuned to the other persons likes and dislikes you are, the better it is. And obviously you'll be more sexually compatible with certain people than you will with others. Whether or not sex is overrated is impossible to answer. It can be but that doesn't mean it will be.
SaffronBurke
Cam Model
- Jan 3, 2013
- 19,430
- 64,064
- 3,093
- 35
- Twitter Username
- @Sweet_Saffron
- Tumblr Username
- saffronburke
- MFC Username
- SaffronBurke
- Streamate Username
- SaffronBurke
- Chaturbate Username
- SaffronBurke
- Clips4Sale URL
- http://clips4sale.com/store/62613/Saffron
Well, it takes me 3 minutes to get myself off, and another person will take 20+ minutes and the orgasm isn't as strong, so I'd say yes. But that's just my body and personal experience.
- Jul 2, 2012
- 43
- 71
- 103
- Twitter Username
- @AnthroguyMFC
- MFC Username
- Anthroguy
- Chaturbate Username
- anthroguy
I think how we react to sex is overrated.
It's something to neither frantically chase after, nor paranoically avoid.
As mentioned by others, sex isn't going to change your life. Ticking off your V-card isn't a solution to whatever life's problems or tribulations you have. Manic pixie dream girls (or boys) are false.
I was 27 before I had sex with another person; I can assure you I was awkward as all can be. To this day I still wonder if I was good enough; if my technique was right; was she bored; did it feel good for her.
It's something to neither frantically chase after, nor paranoically avoid.
As mentioned by others, sex isn't going to change your life. Ticking off your V-card isn't a solution to whatever life's problems or tribulations you have. Manic pixie dream girls (or boys) are false.
I was 27 before I had sex with another person; I can assure you I was awkward as all can be. To this day I still wonder if I was good enough; if my technique was right; was she bored; did it feel good for her.
Mila_
Inactive Cam Model
- Apr 3, 2015
- 4,743
- 16,148
- 243
- Twitter Username
- @mmmilarky_
- MFC Username
- mila_
- Chaturbate Username
- mila_
I loved what @I_Am_Iris said. Most women would agree that the first time is quite disappointing especially if you feel pain.
But I think it would be different for men. So I would like more guys on the forum to weigh in. They don't feel any pain and they are more visual than us, so it could be a totally awesome experience for them.
But I think it would be different for men. So I would like more guys on the forum to weigh in. They don't feel any pain and they are more visual than us, so it could be a totally awesome experience for them.
Nordling
V.I.P. AmberLander
The first orgasm I had was a frightening experience. I felt like my entire body was going to suck inside itself. I can't speak for other men, but I think there's a lot of myths regarding human sexuality:
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/sex-lies-men-myths-0217137
Are Men More Visual?
We’ve all heard that men are more visual than women, and this is used as justification for everything from looking at porn to ogling strangers. While most research does show that men are more visually stimulated than women, the interpretation of this data is much more complicated than it seems. One 2008 study, for example, emphasizes that sociological factors play a strong role in men’s visual stimulation. Men are taught from an early age to emphasize physical appearance, and the same study found that men tend to be more aroused by contexts in which they can objectify another person—a tendency that is probably learned.
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/sex-lies-men-myths-0217137
Are Men More Visual?
We’ve all heard that men are more visual than women, and this is used as justification for everything from looking at porn to ogling strangers. While most research does show that men are more visually stimulated than women, the interpretation of this data is much more complicated than it seems. One 2008 study, for example, emphasizes that sociological factors play a strong role in men’s visual stimulation. Men are taught from an early age to emphasize physical appearance, and the same study found that men tend to be more aroused by contexts in which they can objectify another person—a tendency that is probably learned.
Depends on who your partner is, the right partner can be truly memorable...definitely not over-rated.
Having said this it most likely depends on you, are you up for that memorable moment or will you take yourself out of the moment? I wouldn't think too much about sex, it doesn't serve the chance of good sex at all....you must capture the moment if and when it happens.
Having said this it most likely depends on you, are you up for that memorable moment or will you take yourself out of the moment? I wouldn't think too much about sex, it doesn't serve the chance of good sex at all....you must capture the moment if and when it happens.
Nordling
V.I.P. AmberLander
Men don't have that first-time pain, but they do feel the pressure to "perform," which is something that can't be faked or politely ignored. (I suspect that a guy's first time tends to be especially anxiety-ridden. It was for me.).
In a guy's teens and twenties, the biology is cooperating and the performance is pretty reliable. At my age, let's just say there's not as much cooperation.
Another pressure source is that a guy may feel that he is burdened with disproportionate responsibility for his partner's pleasure in addition to his own. This seems kind of silly, like a cultural throwback to a time when there was a much greater power disparity between men and women. I've felt this type of burden when I was with a woman who was relatively passive and not as "strong" as I was. I didn't like this feeling at all. It wasn't just the sex; it pervaded the relationship. OTOH, I once was involved with a woman who was five years older than me (I was 45; she was 50) and she was smart, direct and strong. I felt like we were true equals, and that was such a good feeling, in sex and the relationship in general.
Looks like Guy is getting more than he bargained for in terms of answers to his question.
Actually, I believe your views on sex vary from culture to culture. In my culture; sex is just apart of life and nothing to get emotional about. You see, sex really had little emotional value in my family and it was just natural stage of human existence. Since I come from a culture in where romantic love is unthinkable; I was taught more about how to great sex is about mutual pleasure, trust, understanding each others' and respect.
What culture are you from, if you don't mind me asking? Do you have arranged marriages? I would be interested in hearing more about the process of how trust, mutual understanding/pleasure and respect develop between two people under those circumstances.
In the Western world (Europe, N and S America, Australia and NZ), which have the somewhat recent tradition of romantic love, maybe sex is seen as so important because it's how people pair off and find their life partner. No sex = no life partner (exceptions, of course). If that pressure and uncertainty aren't as much of an issue, I could see how sex would take on a different character, maybe better, idk.
No. I took band class in 8th grade and I sucked at it.I fully agree with this dude...
a man who used to be married to her...
Ever think of starting a band @Guy ?
Couldn't hurt your quest. Chicks love musicians.
Osmia,
These are a very complex set of questions but I will answer you. So, my ancestors came from the Kingdom of Kongo before being enslaved in the Americas. Despite being enslaved and being freed in the Americas, that medieval Kongo culture is still alive within my everyday life and I just accept it. You will find people all over the Caribbean and Latin America who follow many ancient African traditions depending where their ancestors came from. This is because many slave masters just did not have time like they did in America to suppress all Afro-based cultures. So, the medieval Kongo culture men and women were sexual equals Also women had great sexual freedom and LGBT culture was a thing. Also, money and power fueled sexual desire among those of the upper classes.
Now, this made Kongo different than most West African cultures because women can control their sexual rights. However, there has been some changes over the years in order to adapt to Americanization. For example,there are 5 different types of marriages that people can practice in my family. These included business marriage, marriage of convenience, cultural marriage, profit marriage, and arrange marriage. However, in the Caribbean and Latin America....there would be over 15 different marriage types. Also, we had to watch out for opening talking about money and sex because the Western World looks down on that for some reason.
Also mutual understanding, pleasure, and trust happens in our sexual relationships because we have to be brutally honest. I talked about my desires and boundaries before sex has occur. Sexual passiveness is considered weakness in my family. We make sure that everything is ready including sexual protection and we just lay it on the floor. Threesomes can get tricky because you must make sure that everyone is equals.
These are a very complex set of questions but I will answer you. So, my ancestors came from the Kingdom of Kongo before being enslaved in the Americas. Despite being enslaved and being freed in the Americas, that medieval Kongo culture is still alive within my everyday life and I just accept it. You will find people all over the Caribbean and Latin America who follow many ancient African traditions depending where their ancestors came from. This is because many slave masters just did not have time like they did in America to suppress all Afro-based cultures. So, the medieval Kongo culture men and women were sexual equals
Also women had great sexual freedom and LGBT culture was a thing. Also, money and power fueled sexual desire among those of the upper classes.Now, this made Kongo different than most West African cultures because women can control their sexual rights. However, there has been some changes over the years in order to adapt to Americanization. For example,there are 5 different types of marriages that people can practice in my family. These included business marriage, marriage of convenience, cultural marriage, profit marriage, and arrange marriage. However, in the Caribbean and Latin America....there would be over 15 different marriage types. Also, we had to watch out for opening talking about money and sex because the Western World looks down on that for some reason.
Also mutual understanding, pleasure, and trust happens in our sexual relationships because we have to be brutally honest. I talked about my desires and boundaries before sex has occur. Sexual passiveness is considered weakness in my family. We make sure that everything is ready including sexual protection and we just lay it on the floor. Threesomes can get tricky because you must make sure that everyone is equals.
Mine was, in all those ways. She was experienced, I wasn't. We'd already known each other a long time and something had been building between us, but when we finally went from friends to lovers I was overwhelmed and it was completely forgettable. We ended up in a long term relationship, during which time the sex got better and better, but at the start it was just awkward and not very good.
To answer the original question, it's not overrated and once you reach the point of being completley comfortable with the other person and in love with them, it can become amazing. Not because of the intensity of the orgasms, but because it's all about the joy you being to other person. I'm possibly a bit odd as men go though, as I have no interest in doing it with anyone don't have a close emotional bond with, so no one night stands for me and I don't want to have sex with any of the beautiful ladies on MFC (I realise this goes somewhat against the "want to have sex with anything in a skirt" male stereotype
).
I think sexual activity is no more or less overrated than any other activity, and those most likely to say it is overrated likely haven't been having all that great of it, in the same way I'd say folks who haven't eaten good food may say eating food is overrated. Arguably, as well, the more you hype it up, the less great it'll probably be when you have it because nothing lives up to the hype. Accept it for what it is, and it'll be as good as it is (which may be not that good at all, but still.)
This, of course, doesn't get into folks on the ace spectrum (including myself,) which is an entirely different animal.
This, of course, doesn't get into folks on the ace spectrum (including myself,) which is an entirely different animal.
EspiKvlt
Cam Model
- Jun 19, 2016
- 2,274
- 8,571
- 213
- 30
- Twitter Username
- @espikvlt
- Tumblr Username
- espikvlt
- ManyVids URL
- https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/465167/Espi-Kvlt/
I'm graysexual, so four months at a time it is, and then once every four months it's heavenly. lmao
(i'd rather just masturbate, anyway)
(i'd rather just masturbate, anyway)
EspiKvlt
Cam Model
- Jun 19, 2016
- 2,274
- 8,571
- 213
- 30
- Twitter Username
- @espikvlt
- Tumblr Username
- espikvlt
- ManyVids URL
- https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/465167/Espi-Kvlt/
It wasn't an exact measurement of time. Just a "i don't have sex for huge periods of time" estimate.
SaffronBurke
Cam Model
- Jan 3, 2013
- 19,430
- 64,064
- 3,093
- 35
- Twitter Username
- @Sweet_Saffron
- Tumblr Username
- saffronburke
- MFC Username
- SaffronBurke
- Streamate Username
- SaffronBurke
- Chaturbate Username
- SaffronBurke
- Clips4Sale URL
- http://clips4sale.com/store/62613/Saffron
I've had incredible, out-of-body-experience sex, but still think it's overrated. Why?
I can get myself off in three minutes and get on with my day.
When I have sex with other people, they get too excited about how easy it is to make me orgasm and go forever seeing how high they can get the number, or how many times/how far they can make me squirt. I've had a partner lose count after I'd had 115 orgasms in one session. I've squirted hard enough to hit the ceiling. Sure, it's impressive, but I have shit to do. Having sex gets boring after so many orgasms. Like, yes, I've gotten off numerous times, YOUR TURN, wrap it the fuck up already. Or, even worse, now I'm so wet there's no friction, and I can't tell if you're fucking me or the sheets, you might as well finish yourself off now because I need to shower and change the bedding.
It's overrated to me because my partners always go for overkill. Oh, look, I came again, big woop, who cares, I have a book I could be reading right now.
Arguably speaking, this entire situation would simply be a confirmation of my point. Namely, you're describing exactly why the sex is bad, but that doesn't make sex, conceptually overrated, it means your partners and the specific acts are shit.
SaffronBurke
Cam Model
- Jan 3, 2013
- 19,430
- 64,064
- 3,093
- 35
- Twitter Username
- @Sweet_Saffron
- Tumblr Username
- saffronburke
- MFC Username
- SaffronBurke
- Streamate Username
- SaffronBurke
- Chaturbate Username
- SaffronBurke
- Clips4Sale URL
- http://clips4sale.com/store/62613/Saffron
Arguably speaking, this entire situation would simply be a confirmation of my point. Namely, you're describing exactly why the sex is bad, but that doesn't make sex, conceptually overrated, it means your partners and the specific acts are shit.
I literally said it was the opposite of bad, way to read things I never said. I just happen to have better ways to spend three hours than seeing how many orgasms I can have in a row.
SexySteph
Cam Model
- Mar 11, 2013
- 6,051
- 44,314
- 293
- 34
- Twitter Username
- @SexyStephMFC
- MFC Username
- SexySteph
- Streamate Username
- SexySteph
- Clips4Sale URL
- http://clips4sale.com/store/61365/stephaniexs
I'd say yes. I enjoy sex greatly but in TV, movies and books its always described as this earth shattering, headboard shaking, mind blowing, fireworks experience. And sure, sometimes it is, but that's not everytime or even most of the time for a lot of people. Sometimes it's just a mutual release for two (or more) people that are attracted to each other.
I think we define 'bad' differently.
Not in terms of you being wrong, mind you. I think my point may have escaped you. The point I'm making is that you're saying it is overrated because you have better things to do than that, to which my point is "well, than that would fall under 'not the right way (for you.)""
Though I suspect its also because what someone defines 'overrated' as may differ.
SaffronBurke
Cam Model
- Jan 3, 2013
- 19,430
- 64,064
- 3,093
- 35
- Twitter Username
- @Sweet_Saffron
- Tumblr Username
- saffronburke
- MFC Username
- SaffronBurke
- Streamate Username
- SaffronBurke
- Chaturbate Username
- SaffronBurke
- Clips4Sale URL
- http://clips4sale.com/store/62613/Saffron
I feel like I'm actually failing to get my point across.
It's the duration, really. 30-ish minutes of sex? Fucking awesome, fantastic, wonderful, perfect, extremely enjoyable.
More than that, though, and I feel like I'm a video game and the dude's trying to beat his high score. "I made her cum 53 times last week, tonight I'm going to try for 60!"
Unnecessary. Really. So unnecessary. I don't care how many orgasms I have, I don't even keep track. I know I had some orgasms, the guy had one, we enjoyed ourselves and it was great.
Obviously, it isn't "not the right way", or I wouldn't be having oodles of orgasms. But, really, I am one of those ladies whose anatomy is perfectly set up to orgasm easily from regular old penis in vagina and thrust sex, my partner doesn't even need to bother trying to get me off because IT WILL HAPPEN. Once the first orgasm happens, I have another about every 3-5 minutes or so. So, if the guy's focus is on getting himself off, I will get off, too, thoroughly enjoy myself, and be happy.
But that's not how it ends up happening a lot of the time. Instead, the guy focuses on racking up more points than last time, it goes on way too long, and I realize I could have done all kinds of things in that incredibly unnecessary amount of time trying to beat last week's score.
Conclusion:
30 minutes of sex, woo, awesome, yay.
3 hours of sex, WHY. Why didn't you stop two hours ago, this was so unnecessary.
And that's assuming we skipped foreplay. Because if foreplay happens, woo buddy.
I don't need foreplay, because my vagina doesn't know the meaning of the word "chill" and I have a slip & slide in my pants 24/7. So I typically skip it.
But, some dudes like it or something. And then they do the thing that makes me squirting.
Woo, awesome, that was fun, put your dick in me now.
Nope. Now we're going to sit there and see how many times in a row I can squirt. Thanks, dude, I squirted 15 times and now I'm laying in a puddle that's creeping up my back and getting steadily colder. WHY.
Again, video game, high score, should've stopped ages ago.
An interesting note: I have fucked several straight dudes, a couple bi dudes, a couple trans women, and a cis woman.
Only the straight dudes do this. Only. The straight dudes. Unfortunately, they've been the majority, so it seems like EVERYONE does it.
- Status
