Do you let your SO look at your profile and content?

[Lasershark]

As the title says, do you show your SO your content and profiles or would you feel embarassed or ashamed to show them what you do in your work time?

 

[AmberCutie]

As the title says, do you show your SO your content and profiles or would you feel embarassed or ashamed to show them what you do in your work time?

My hubs enjoys my content often! He's the reason I signed up as a cam girl over a decade ago, so it would be weird if I wasn't cool with him watching while I'm live or watching my videos. Hell, he used to be my photographer and camera man before I took over doing it completely on my own.

Relationships with open communication and support are the best, and help a cam model/content maker thrive, in my opinion.

 

[MarieElise]

If he wanted to, sure. A couple of times I have given him clips, mainly because I was too tired for sex/ not in the mood, and wanted to help him out, in a less physically demanding way I gave him a substantial discount tho (hehe... that part was a joke, I sent them to him free). He is in the house when I work. So he can hear what I am doing, if he wanted to listen at the door. But he has acclimatized to it. I incorporate it into dirty talk, but after years, it's no longer either much of a turn on, or a turn off for him. It just is what it is. On our first date he saw my profile, and porn name. We both just kinda used it as a flirting point. If I am doing a show on a theme he likes, I will use it to flirt with him a little, at that time after show. I do so many fetishes tho, that I often go nights without doing a single thing that he would find remotely sexy. He's pretty Vanilla. And at this point he is pretty used to seeing me in sexy outfits, so he's kinda immune to that too lol. Especially if a sports game is on hehehe.

I would not feel embarrassed or ashamed. We would just laugh together. He's a real easy going hippy type, kinda like me.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I’m not embarrassed or ashamed. I’ll use him for the angles I can’t manage for pics too. I get easily distracted though and wouldn’t want him to watch me actually cam, not a shame or embarrassment thing —just my focus would be off

 

[AudriTwo]

If you don't want to show him, you don't have to. My opinions on my husband watching my content are irrelevant to your very real feelings of possible embarrassment or shame. My opinion is to show him, or not, on your own terms, not his. He needs to know and respect your boundaries.

Any reason you may have for not wanting him to is valid and not stupid. It is your body.

If this is a new relationship, seriously don't. It could go sour. What if this relationship doesn't work out, and he outs you? What if blackmails you with this knowledge. There are lots of very VERY valid reasons why sexworkers don't expose everyone in our dating life our porn/work. Sometimes that person is 100% different than their cam persona. Sometimes it can fuck with the relationship/sex dynamics.

If this is boyfriend, since the OP is a bit vague, get off her back on it. She will when she is good and ready, or not.

 

[RinaSugoi]

I used to not really share a whole lot of my content or cam stuff with my SO because I did not want to bombard them with "work talk" all the time but they do not mind and enjoy it when I do share. My SO is super supportive of my decision to start camming and will hype me up all the time and now I also make them help me with photo shoots and what not since their camera is better than mine. LOL. They won't ask or demand to see any of my stuff because they trust what I am doing and would rather me want to share with them. We have always been super open with each other but I think my own personal communication skills have improved because of SW which has been very nice. This is all in regards to a long term relationship.

If I was dating someone new, I probably would not be as open but also it would be easy enough for them to just go to my Twitter or OF or anything and see what is there. I guess I never thought of when is the right time to tell your partner about what you do.

 

[Capryce]

Sure, when I create new content, I always ask him to take a look at it because his opinion and his advices are always helpful and, as a man, he has another point of view of what people would likely find attractive. He's not in the same room when I'm on cam though, I have my own space to work, but when he has to walk in for some reason, he does it very quietly and quickly if he sees I'm busy. Fun story, he showed up once while I was in a middle of a domme show, he saw me pretending to fuck and spank a pillow with a high heeled shoe while I was talking dirty to the customer. He was scared haha ^^

 

[MissEchoMoon]

I’m still new to cam work, but my husband has an MFC account to watch if he wants. He’s a basic and he doesn’t talk during shows if he shows up. He’s usually at work or tending to the kiddo when I am working, though.

when he can be part of a show, it usually works out for me...it’s hard to have a fulfilling orgasm on toys for me. He gets very turned on at the moment thinking about members lusting after me but only he gets to touch. Once the camera is off he often bursts through the door to take care of me.
But this is definitely unique to each couple situation. And I fully expect that there will come a time when camming interests him as much as my vanilla job.

 

[Lasershark]

I'm the partner of a cam girl, we have been together around 16 months, she started camming at the start of january, at first it was a little difficult to adjust to but we got there by talking about it frequently but all the while encouraging her and cheering her on when shes had a good night, i am immensely proud of my lady and I'm definitely her number one fan.

The reason i asked the initial question is that last week i had a look at her profile, I've always known her user name and site she works from but I've never looked and she's never shown me in all this time either. She mentioned that she was updating her profile and i got curious and had a look, when i mentioned it to her that i had a peek she really wasn't happy about it and she said that she felt that i was checking up on her and that she was scared to work in case i checked her profile, which isn't the case at all, i was just curious to see her page and have no intention of watching (cam shows aren't for me). Where the content is concerned i literally never get to see it, i love seeing my lady in various states of undress in lingerie but I've never been privileged enough to see, I've even offered to take some pics or videos for her but shes never responded.

So now we're at a point that because i looked at her profile she feels dirty and feels uncomfortable camming with me in the house, this is annoying because we sacrifice a lot of our time to camming and this makes it even less, I've never been interested to look or come into the room shes working in before or planned on doing it either.

 

[Danigirl]

Hubby looks at my stuff all the time. Doesn't bother me at all- I just can't have him near me when I'm on cam because I'll get completely distracted and self conscious. Or I'll just giggle. He does a ton of my editing because I hate watching myself on videos haha and because he's so much better at it. He gets turned on by some of my stuff too and tends to send me sexy selfies of himself which is frickin hot!

This is completely your choice. Not like you go to his work and watch over his shoulder. You either trust each other or you don't.

 

[Cheesecake]

My grandma was more supportive than my ex when I started selling custom pic sets. He told me a lot of negative things but it is so wonderful to hear how positive your partners are.

 

[Gia_Xo]

Idk, embarrassment and shame should not be descriptors in this biz. While I don't enjoy my man being in the room when I am doing a show (for some reason it feels odd to me, I'd rather he watch from another room on his iPad lol) but it's not embarrassment and DEFINITELY not shame. In fact, as you stated, it is an adjustment for the SO of a sex worker in the beginning, which is WHY my boyfriend tuned in when he could...he needed to see what it was like, to ease whatever was going on in his mind. Maybe you don't need that, but I also feel like you wouldn't go through the process of coming to this forum and posting if it doesn't bother you at all....I think it would be easier for you to adjust to her new job if she were more open about, and that is just my $0.02. Again, I only say this because this is not a 'normal' job; it is a job where relationship insecurities can rear their ugly heads very easily.

 

[Lasershark]

Idk, embarrassment and shame should not be descriptors in this biz. While I don't enjoy my man being in the room when I am doing a show (for some reason it feels odd to me, I'd rather he watch from another room on his iPad lol) but it's not embarrassment and DEFINITELY not shame. In fact, as you stated, it is an adjustment for the SO of a sex worker in the beginning, which is WHY my boyfriend tuned in when he could...he needed to see what it was like, to ease whatever was going on in his mind. Maybe you don't need that, but I also feel like you wouldn't go through the process of coming to this forum and posting if it doesn't bother you at all....I think it would be easier for you to adjust to her new job if she were more open about, and that is just my $0.02. Again, I only say this because this is not a 'normal' job; it is a job where relationship insecurities can rear their ugly heads very easily.

Yeah thats exactly what i want, openess! I feel kinda shut out about it recently and her reaction to an innocent peek at her profile bummed me out, i thought it would ok to look seeing as we're a solid couple and the 7.something billion people in the world can access her page and use her services if they wish but it sucks theres an issue arisen because i did. I respect her wishes and won't go back on and I'll continue to be her number one fan and cheer her on.

 

[Rose]

My spouse and I are both digital sex workers. We absolutely share our work with each other. We use each other to boost our good points, and to help each other work through our lesser quality works.

We actively work with each other to share feedback and encouragement, whether said work is bad or good, because we are the only people who will be honest about what needs improving and what is great.

Plus, it’s GREAT being able to bounce creative ideas off each other.

That said, we utilize constructive criticism in a kind form. We do not tear each other down when the other messes up a project or shoots something out of focus. We practice honest but kind criticism so we can push each other to always improve ourselves.

 

[AudriTwo]

So now we're at a point that because i looked at her profile she feels dirty and feels uncomfortable camming with me in the house, this is annoying because we sacrifice a lot of our time to camming and this makes it even less, I've never been interested to look or come into the room shes working in before or planned on doing it either.

you know what is annoying? not having a partner empathic to their feelings and dismiss them as annoying. if she isn't comfortable with you being home while she works, what can you do to alleviate that stress? maybe leave? go get an outside hobby or part-time job. life is all about making sacrifices for yourself and your loved ones, and you never stop. i'd be so pissed at my husband if he called my feelings of uncomfortableness 'annoying.'

if she didn't want you looking at her content and didn't give you permission to look, you crossed that boundary. you have some serious apologizing, even if you don't think it's a big deal, she now is hurt because you went behind her back.

My grandma was more supportive than my ex when I started selling custom pic sets.

thank god for grandmas! same with mine! she doesn't like it, but she has been very respectful and supportive of my choices.

 

[Lasershark]

you know what is annoying? not having a partner empathic to their feelings and dismiss them as annoying. if she isn't comfortable with you being home while she works, what can you do to alleviate that stress? maybe leave? go get an outside hobby or part-time job. life is all about making sacrifices for yourself and your loved ones, and you never stop. i'd be so pissed at my husband if he called my feelings of uncomfortableness 'annoying.'

if she didn't want you looking at her content and didn't give you permission to look, you crossed that boundary. you have some serious apologizing, even if you don't think it's a big deal, she now is hurt because you went behind her back.


thank god for grandmas! same with mine! she doesn't like it, but she has been very respectful and supportive of my choices.

I can't go to an outside hobby or part time job, i work 12-14 hour days, 5 or 6 days a week and have children. As for not being empathic... do you know what i do while she works? I come home and cook, clean up, tidy the house, make her drinks, take her dog out and a whole lot more, also I'll add that i don't live with her so i do those things to help and support her in day to day life. It is annoying because as I've said I've sacrificed a lot of our time and encourage her to do well, because i want her to do well. We're a solid couple aside from that. Also where boundaries are concerned she crossed our boundary by going further than what was agreed when she was drunk so i think taking a peek at a profile out of curiosity and apologizing for it is minor compared to actually going behind my back and apologising for it later. A bit of openness and honesty goes a long way.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Yeah thats exactly what i want, openess! I feel kinda shut out about it recently and her reaction to an innocent peek at her profile bummed me out, i thought it would ok to look seeing as we're a solid couple and the 7.something billion people in the world can access her page and use her services if they wish but it sucks theres an issue arisen because i did. I respect her wishes and won't go back on and I'll continue to be her number one fan and cheer her on.

To be honest, many times models use regional blockers. If I was involved with a model, I'd hope she'd feel comfortable enough with me to discuss it and share in some ways what she does. It'd be no different than being married to someone who has a vanilla job such as a hair stylist, IT worker, banker, etc. in terms of the conversations.

But, by the same token, it's her business and she needs to run it in the way she can make the most money. There's a certain level of trust you need to have with you SO, and I'd venture a guess at even more so when she is in the sex worker industry.

For the record, I've never knowingly dated anyone in the sex worker industry. But, I have lived next to as well as had a few friends in it. Of which, I have always been supportive of them for it so long as they are comfortable doing it.

 

[AudriTwo]

I can't go to an outside hobby or part time job, i work 12-14 hour days, 5 or 6 days a week and have children. As for not being empathic... do you know what i do while she works? I come home and cook, clean up, tidy the house, make her drinks, take her dog out and a whole lot more, also I'll add that i don't live with her so i do those things to help and support her in day to day life. It is annoying because as I've said I've sacrificed a lot of our time and encourage her to do well, because i want her to do well. We're a solid couple aside from that. Also where boundaries are concerned she crossed our boundary by going further than what was agreed when she was drunk so i think taking a peek at a profile out of curiosity and apologizing for it is minor compared to actually going behind my back and apologising for it later. A bit of openness and honesty goes a long way.

its called emotional support my dude. you asked her while she was under the influence of alcohol something she probably wouldn't be cool with sober. you don't see how that isn't cool. you sound a bit resentful. she has some clear hang-ups, and so do you. i think it's best if both of you try to have a clear non-emotional conversation. recognize and acknowledge the boundaries crossed. both sides.

if you don't live with her, why are you going to her place while she works? if she has issues with you being at her place while she works, maybe you need to respect that? respect her workspace and work time. also if time is an issue i understand. my husband works night shift 12-14 hour days too. i see him maybe 4 hours a day if im lucky. we have to schedule time together. i know it isnt the most romantic thing, but it's how we can have a relationship that isn't "hi, kiss, goodbye"

 

[Lasershark]

its called emotional support my dude. you asked her while she was under the influence of alcohol something she probably wouldn't be cool with sober. you don't see how that isn't cool. you sound a bit resentful. she has some clear hang-ups, and so do you. i think it's best if both of you try to have a clear non-emotional conversation. recognize and acknowledge the boundaries crossed. both sides.

if you don't live with her, why are you going to her place while she works? if she has issues with you being at her place while she works, maybe you need to respect that? respect her workspace and work time. also if time is an issue i understand. my husband works night shift 12-14 hour days too. i see him maybe 4 hours a day if im lucky. we have to schedule time together. i know it isnt the most romantic thing, but it's how we can have a relationship that isn't "hi, kiss, goodbye"

You've got me wrong, we had a talk 2 weeks ago about me also doing cam work which is something i plan on pursuing, as well as couple cams and she admitted she'd be extremely jealous, would have a peek while i was working and that she'd also look at my profile, so from that i saw it as a green light that i could look at her profile, it wasn't anything sneaky on my part at all. She admitted to me around a month ago that she overstepped the boundary with a caller when she was drunk, obviously i was pissed off to say the least but at the end of the day she made money.

I think the resentment stems from the double standard of what she said she'll do when I'm working but i am not allowed to do the same and look at her stuff and added she did the drunk thing and they got to see things that I've never seen.

I go to her house because she invites me, i understand she has to work certain days and accept that and support the fact some days and times are better to work than others, which is why i do all the things she hasn't time to do. The thing about not working when I'm there has literally only started this week after i had an innocent look at her profile, i didn't say anything derogatory about it, just that I'd had a look, so who knows when we'll spend any time together next. This all sucks as we were about to move in together which would mean I'd probably have to get a night shift job to make sure i was out of the way.

 

[veggiebabyy]

My bf knows where to find all of my content and I've offered to send him videos if he wants them, but he's never shown interest. He is friends with me on snapchat and sees what I post on my story, but that's about it. I wouldn't want to know if he was watching my cam room because it would be distracting, but aside from that, he's welcome to whatever he wants.


Quick edit to add: we've been together for almost 4 years and it's a very serious relationship. If I were in a new relationship, I don't think I'd want to share any of this with my SO.


Another edit now that I've read the entire thread: I don't think you (OP) or your girlfriend are emotionally mature enough to handle all of this. Camming isn't something you should be pursuing if there's feelings of jealousy or little tit for tat actions going on. I'd also be skeptical of a partner who doesn't trust me to set my own limits of what is acceptable on cam. My partner has no input on what I can and can't do while I'm working, and he doesn't feel the need to set limits, either.

 

[Marceline]

I've only been in one serious relationship since I started camming. This wasn't a new relationship by any means and I had started camming while we were on one of our (many) "off" periods. It was never a secret that I cammed, but I never once told him what my stage name was. Why? Because I wasn't comfortable with it. He was judgmental and jealous even at his best times, and to be quite frank, I didn't trust that he would keep my business to himself if, or should I say when, we broke up again, because he had spread some pretty nasty rumors about me in the past when he was upset with me. I'm about 98% positive he still ended up figuring it out, because he would make offhand comments about stuff that happened in my room, alluded to knowing what my cam name was and there was even a time that I was almost sure he was coming into my room acting like a random person (he had a very distinct way of joking around, this "random" said stuff, mostly inside jokes, that only long time regulars of my room or people who knew me irl would know and his profile was brand spanking new, and a few times my ex would text me right as soon as I got off cam, which could be a coincidence, but still).

Basically, it all came down to trust, and I had none for that person. The fact that he, more than likely, went out of his way to find out my info anyway despite me telling him I wasn't comfortable with it shows that my instincts were right. I have two very close friends who know my stage name and have looked at my stuff before, and I don't mind that one bit, because I trust them. If I was in a loving relationship with someone I could see myself with long term, someone who I totally trusted, I would let them look at my stuff. Hell, I'd probably encourage them to look at my videos (for the record, I only make content now and don't really live cam) and help me out with them.

 

[Lasershark]

I've only been in one serious relationship since I started camming. This wasn't a new relationship by any means and I had started camming while we were on one of our (many) "off" periods. It was never a secret that I cammed, but I never once told him what my stage name was. Why? Because I wasn't comfortable with it. He was judgmental and jealous even at his best times, and to be quite frank, I didn't trust that he would keep my business to himself if, or should I say when, we broke up again, because he had spread some pretty nasty rumors about me in the past when he was upset with me. I'm about 98% positive he still ended up figuring it out, because he would make offhand comments about stuff that happened in my room, alluded to knowing what my cam name was and there was even a time that I was almost sure he was coming into my room acting like a random person (he had a very distinct way of joking around, this "random" said stuff, mostly inside jokes, that only long time regulars of my room or people who knew me irl would know and his profile was brand spanking new, and a few times my ex would text me right as soon as I got off cam, which could be a coincidence, but still).

Basically, it all came down to trust, and I had none for that person. The fact that he, more than likely, went out of his way to find out my info anyway despite me telling him I wasn't comfortable with it shows that my instincts were right. I have two very close friends who know my stage name and have looked at my stuff before, and I don't mind that one bit, because I trust them. If I was in a loving relationship with someone I could see myself with long term, someone who I totally trusted, I would let them look at my stuff. Hell, I'd probably encourage them to look at my videos (for the record, I only make content now and don't really live cam) and help me out with them.

I'm sorry to hear your ex was like that cast a lot of insecurity, you were definitely right not to reveal your stage name to him and if he was entering your room thats just so fucking stalkerish!

Me and my lady are in a really loving trusting relationship, we both know that we're life partners and the things we've battled through together shows we're a strong unit, i think thats why I'm so bummed out about her not including me more into her work, like she's asked numerous times to do couples which I'm totally up for and she's suggested i cam too which i plan on starting, thats why i can't understand why she was so annoyed at me for looking at her profile once. I'd like to support her more by helping her with her content and stuff but she doesn't allow me to see and i feel kinda frozen out by it.

 

[MarlieJane]

she did the drunk thing and they got to see things that I've never seen.


jealousy is something you should learn to curb if you want to date in this industry. That sounds incredibly possessive, why do you think you deserve more than what she's given you?

 

[Lasershark]

she did the drunk thing and they got to see things that I've never seen.


jealousy is something you should learn to curb if you want to date in this industry. That sounds incredibly possessive, why do you think you deserve more than what she's given you?

Because when she started it all she wanted to set boundaries and she overstepped her own agreed boundary, the one thing i should be able to do is trust my partner, deceit causes mistrust and mistrust causes problems.

 

[AudriTwo]

Because when she started it all she wanted to set boundaries and she overstepped her own agreed boundary, the one thing i should be able to do is trust my partner, deceit causes mistrust and mistrust causes problems.

you aren't gatekeeper of her boundaries though... my boundaries change quite often.

she didn't want you looking at it, and you did. and now you are trying to justify your actions by reminding her of these bad things she did, like doing something under the influence with someone that she wouldn't do with you.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I'm sorry to hear your ex was like that cast a lot of insecurity, you were definitely right not to reveal your stage name to him and if he was entering your room thats just so fucking stalkerish!

Me and my lady are in a really loving trusting relationship, we both know that we're life partners and the things we've battled through together shows we're a strong unit, i think thats why I'm so bummed out about her not including me more into her work, like she's asked numerous times to do couples which I'm totally up for and she's suggested i cam too which i plan on starting, thats why i can't understand why she was so annoyed at me for looking at her profile once. I'd like to support her more by helping her with her content and stuff but she doesn't allow me to see and i feel kinda frozen out by it.

The downside is, as you saw from @Marceline and other models throughout the forum is that no matter how much you trust someone, they will do things which could ruin the model. Everything from stalkerish events to even selling info to others, and worse. So, it is extremely prudent for them to be extremely cautious of anyone they are in a relationship with.

IMO, it feels like you're a little jealous of things. i get it that she went back on her word, according to what you're saying. But, discuss it with her. If she's unwilling to forgive you for doing that, and you're holding a grudge against her for what you say she did, then end it. Now. Peacefully and amicably while you still respect one another.

 

[MarieElise]

I would not sweat the little things, and just focus on money, like you would with any other job. She makes her money, you make yours. If you guys plan on any type of serious long term relationship, the more she makes (by any means) the less you have to help her with. That's a positive thing. Making money is exhausting!

This thing about going further etc etc, is a minor issue (as far as your relationship is concerned) that if you guys stay together, will likely be a non issue, and not even something you remember in 10 years. But sidenote; she should not be drinking on cam, and going further than she wants to. That is not a good way to be healthy and happy, in the long term, as a SW (sex worker). However, that is her business.

Whoever the dude was, prob won't stick around or even be a factor. I think to be delving into details like this you will drive yourself nuts. I never talk about the details of my shows with my SO, and he wouldn't even care to hear them. It's a boring topic of conversation. Focusing on little details, in any context, always amplifies jealousy. Try to have better boundaries with each other, so as to avoid having arguments and going to negative mind spaces.

In 60 years you guys probably won't even remember this whole thing, and if you do, you will both laugh about it.

ETA; Maybe you guys should do something fun together like play Xbox, or go Karaoke, so as to have positive things to bond over, and talk about.

 

[MarieElise]

Sorry to DP. But as an example; when I was preggo, I found out that before he even met me, my BF went to meet up with someone in a Walmart parking lot (the horrors!) for casual sex. It turned out it was a chick with a dick, and he didn't know about the dick, until he got there. The he politely bowed out.

Anyways, while I was pregnant I focused on this one story, blew it out of proportion in my mind, and let myself get really paranoid about him and store visits. It was ridiculous. We argued about it several times, which was a total waste of time. Now 3 years later, we laugh everytime we go to Walmart, and we constantly joke about the time he thought he was gonna get easy sex, and the chick ended up having a dick. I mean.. it's funny. Things can seem like a huge deal that really are not, and in time you see that. That's the moral of the story here. I think.

 

[admjgg]

Ok, so before I go totally off the rails I have a few clarification questions.

1: Is this a sexual relationship? I would assume after 16 months you'd have seen her "in all states of undress" by now.

2: she didn't actually cheat, did she? It was just a show, right?

3: Are you supporting her financially? Or does her camming pay her bills?

Feel free to ignore this post. I think I know the answers to these already but I'm legitimately curious

 

[Lasershark]

I would not sweat the little things, and just focus on money, like you would with any other job. She makes her money, you make yours. If you guys plan on any type of serious long term relationship, the more she makes (by any means) the less you have to help her with. That's a positive thing. Making money is exhausting!

This thing about going further etc etc, is a minor issue (as far as your relationship is concerned) that if you guys stay together, will likely be a non issue, and not even something you remember in 10 years. But sidenote; she should not be drinking on cam, and going further than she wants to. That is not a good way to be healthy and happy, in the long term, as a SW (sex worker). However, that is her business.

Whoever the dude was, prob won't stick around or even be a factor. I think to be delving into details like this you will drive yourself nuts. I never talk about the details of my shows with my SO, and he wouldn't even care to hear them. It's a boring topic of conversation. Focusing on little details, in any context, always amplifies jealousy. Try to have better boundaries with each other, so as to avoid having arguments and going to negative mind spaces.

In 60 years you guys probably won't even remember this whole thing, and if you do, you will both laugh about it.

ETA; Maybe you guys should do something fun together like play Xbox, or go Karaoke, so as to have positive things to bond over, and talk about.

The going further is a minor issue, we said that if she wanted to change the boundaries at any time that we'd talk about it, I'd have actually been fine with it if she had wanted to go that far but with her being as drunk as she was it went out of the window, we never argued about it and i wasn't an arsehole about it, i hate conflict and like to talk things through, so now its not a problem any more that story was for context more than anything. The drinking on cam has been a worry to her and she self imposed a 2 drink limit.

I don't want to hear all the gory details of the shows but i like to hear the stories of the strange requests and if she's had to deal with an weirdo lol.

Oh i couldn't live with the shame of going to Wal-Mart and having the time i met a chick with a dick in the parking lot, I'd die of shame hahaha!