My honest opinion... if your significant other has a set of do's and don'ts for your cam time, you're gonna have a lot of issues. Cam models, especially new ones, evolve a lot. Some boundaries disappear, and new ones are created. I've been doing this for 9 years and what I will and won't do change up almost every day. You keep mentioning HER boundaries. I keep imagining myself in her situation, having this conversation with you, and if you were to get upset with me supposedly for crossing MY OWN boundaries, I'd really feel like you were gaslighting, manipulating to make me feel bad about myself, and make me feel like you're just looking out for ME, like you know what's best for ME, when really, I'm just fine and the real issue is your jealousy.
To answer your question, my husband was a fan before we met, and honestly still is. He sometimes joins my room and tips me here and there, or will randomly subscribe to my OnlyFans. He knows he can get all the content he wants free, but I think he enjoys giving me the thrill of a sale/tip. I just don't see how he and I could have a healthy relationship if he were so concerned with what I do on cam. I mean I told him when we first met that I didn't wanna put anything in my butt, but there's been a few times people tipped me enough to convince me since then. I'd hate to feel like I wasn't allowed to do what I'm comfortable with in that moment.