Just to save time and grossness, this is for kinks and fetishes with two adult consenting humans. Shaming things to do with nonconsent, animals, minors, etc is unarguably the right way to be.
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Do you believe their are kinks/fetishes worth shaming?
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Nah. What's the point? Unless shame is someone's fetish, I guess. Then shame away so long as they're paying for it. Even when it comes to fetishes involving children and animals, I don't think shame is a healthy, productive way to tackle something like that. Nobody asks to be aroused by minors for example. But once afflicted with that fetish, shaming that person isn't going to help anyone. Therapy to get to the root of the issue, measures taken to ensure they don't act on their sexual impulses, and monitoring by trusted parties would be far more useful.
I once saw a documentary about a guy who was abused when he was younger and began to develop violent sexual fantasies involving children. He didn't want those fantasies but he couldn't shake them, and so worried that one day he might, in a moment of weakness, selfishness and cowardice, actually act on them and do something he could never take back, he volunteered to be chemically castrated, which not only made him anatomically ill-equipped to act on his urges but also got rid of the urges themselves (apparently lack of functioning sex organs = lack of sexual thoughts).
I couldn't help but admire the guy. He was dealt a shitty hand and instead of perpetuating the vicious cycle like so many before him had, he did something completely selfless and heroic. Anyway, I've gone off on a tangent, but "shaming = bad" is my overall point.
I once saw a documentary about a guy who was abused when he was younger and began to develop violent sexual fantasies involving children. He didn't want those fantasies but he couldn't shake them, and so worried that one day he might, in a moment of weakness, selfishness and cowardice, actually act on them and do something he could never take back, he volunteered to be chemically castrated, which not only made him anatomically ill-equipped to act on his urges but also got rid of the urges themselves (apparently lack of functioning sex organs = lack of sexual thoughts).
I couldn't help but admire the guy. He was dealt a shitty hand and instead of perpetuating the vicious cycle like so many before him had, he did something completely selfless and heroic. Anyway, I've gone off on a tangent, but "shaming = bad" is my overall point.
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I don't think I would ever shame a fetish, unless said person was paying me heftily (and they do). Shame, in my experience, is never the right way to go. It only serves to perpetuate self loathing and unease. It does nothing to actually solve the problem.
Say for example, poop eating. If someone who ate poop to get their jollies was shamed for it when they actually wanted help or understanding, it would probably send them right home crying alone into a pile of waste and their own toxic thoughts...... Accomplishes nothing originally hoped for. Whereas if you offered them the number for a good therapist or a new toothbrush and a long arm extended pat on the back, then they may call said therapist or use the toothbrush after.
We don't ask or intend to develop fetishes, it just happens. Some of us get the really short end of the stick and are left with more questionable sexual tastes, but that doesn't mean anyone deserves to be shamed for it. I think offering a non-judgmental ear or the number of someone who can listen unconditionally would be much more helpful.
Say for example, poop eating. If someone who ate poop to get their jollies was shamed for it when they actually wanted help or understanding, it would probably send them right home crying alone into a pile of waste and their own toxic thoughts...... Accomplishes nothing originally hoped for. Whereas if you offered them the number for a good therapist or a new toothbrush and a long arm extended pat on the back, then they may call said therapist or use the toothbrush after.
We don't ask or intend to develop fetishes, it just happens. Some of us get the really short end of the stick and are left with more questionable sexual tastes, but that doesn't mean anyone deserves to be shamed for it. I think offering a non-judgmental ear or the number of someone who can listen unconditionally would be much more helpful.
So long as the fetish is only involving those consenting adults then no I don't think so. Even people without "fetishes" can have some pretty crazy fantasies, it's completely normal, even though it's seen as being abnormal. For most they probably have no interest in living out those fantasies or giving it more than a passing thought, but if some want to try those things out in a consenting situation then I don't see the point in shaming them for it. You would be completely within your rights to react to someone with a fetish you find disgusting, poop eating for example does go against more than just social boundaries so it would be fair enough to react. But shaming would be mean.
I don't know if I shame people exactly, but I will talk people out of any fetish which might cause trauma to someone non consenting. Such as flashing, masturbating or going nude in places you might be caught for sexual pleasure, basically anything which could drag someone else into your own perversions. All cool to be a perve, just don't push it on others IMO.
I don't know if I shame people exactly, but I will talk people out of any fetish which might cause trauma to someone non consenting. Such as flashing, masturbating or going nude in places you might be caught for sexual pleasure, basically anything which could drag someone else into your own perversions. All cool to be a perve, just don't push it on others IMO.
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While I personally think that some kinks and fetishes go a little too far (like in cases of actual harm/danger), I don't think anyone should be shamed for what brings them pleasure.
If it's safe, sane, and consensual, then have at it.
If it's safe, sane, and consensual, then have at it.
JickyJuly
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If someone is doing something that needs to be reported because it is non-consent or abusive to animals, I report and don't waste time on shaming. I'm not interested in taking part in fetishes that allude to non-consensual age play. There are definitely clips4sale categories that I, personally, want no part of. I don't think I would judge girls who go that direction though. If they're eating live fish though... fuck them.
Editing to add: Shaming people does not change them. It's such a super common thing that humans do to one another, but it's not effective for real communication. So, I just avoid categories that I don't feel good about. That way, no blood on my hands for normalizing stuff that seems questionable to me in my own conscience. I do judge camgirls who choose to cater to dark fetishes or attitudes without being honest about it though.
Editing to add: Shaming people does not change them. It's such a super common thing that humans do to one another, but it's not effective for real communication. So, I just avoid categories that I don't feel good about. That way, no blood on my hands for normalizing stuff that seems questionable to me in my own conscience. I do judge camgirls who choose to cater to dark fetishes or attitudes without being honest about it though.
SaffronBurke
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Anything involving consenting adults, idgaf. I might not be into it, but it's none of my business.
However, when you bring non-consenting people into your kink, that's not cool. I don't exactly shame, but I side-eye quite hard. Like, dommes who parade their sub around in public on a leash while they're both wearing fetish gear. The general public didn't consent to seeing some stranger's sexual fantasy, keep it in private. There's also guys who ask dommes to insult/humiliate their wife, or want to be given tasks like "cum in her shampoo bottle". No. Unless the wife is consenting and into it, you're just being an asshole. If you hate your wife that much, fucking divorce her, Jesus.
However, when you bring non-consenting people into your kink, that's not cool. I don't exactly shame, but I side-eye quite hard. Like, dommes who parade their sub around in public on a leash while they're both wearing fetish gear. The general public didn't consent to seeing some stranger's sexual fantasy, keep it in private. There's also guys who ask dommes to insult/humiliate their wife, or want to be given tasks like "cum in her shampoo bottle". No. Unless the wife is consenting and into it, you're just being an asshole. If you hate your wife that much, fucking divorce her, Jesus.
BiancaBaker
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I make some questionable things so no I would never kink shame. I'm not hurting anyone or doing anything not consensual. If someone wants to not like me for the content I put out then FUCK them. If it bother's you- don't look in the category. I always love to push myself as a content producer and sometimes I can't make everyone happy. As long as it's consensual then I have 0 issues with it.
I will also agree with @JickyJuly though- I do not agree with woman who eat live fish for the vore category and I cannot stand the Candid category.. Where woman are filmed un-knowingly. Even then I do not kink shame. I personal disagree with it but thats my opinion.
Lots of woman won't film Home Wrecking - It's one of my highest ranking categories. I can go on with categories I film in that lots of producer's won't do. I always make sure the models I am working with know EXACTLY what I plan on shooting and I lay it all out. I also respect all limits so say a girl doesn't want to content trade in a certain category or she's non nude- Whatever floats your boat! I would never force my fetish's or content on anyone I am shooting with. I want to make everyone feel super comfy and my #1 is ALWAYS safety and comfortability. I've met some AMAZING ladies who are super different than me when content trading so I would never judge someone based on what they shot or what they want to shoot. As long as they respect my limits it's all good
I will also agree with @JickyJuly though- I do not agree with woman who eat live fish for the vore category and I cannot stand the Candid category.. Where woman are filmed un-knowingly. Even then I do not kink shame. I personal disagree with it but thats my opinion.
Lots of woman won't film Home Wrecking - It's one of my highest ranking categories. I can go on with categories I film in that lots of producer's won't do. I always make sure the models I am working with know EXACTLY what I plan on shooting and I lay it all out. I also respect all limits so say a girl doesn't want to content trade in a certain category or she's non nude- Whatever floats your boat! I would never force my fetish's or content on anyone I am shooting with. I want to make everyone feel super comfy and my #1 is ALWAYS safety and comfortability. I've met some AMAZING ladies who are super different than me when content trading so I would never judge someone based on what they shot or what they want to shoot. As long as they respect my limits it's all good
KatSinclair
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Anything that is non consensual is basically where my "shame" line is. There's a lot of things out there I don't understand or that I'm into but I don't think it's worth shaming. I'm into some weird shit sometimes so who am I to judge 
I think that fetishes, no matter how different or extreme, are a healthy outlet for consenting adults. Exploring sexual fantasies and actually living them out can be very liberating.
I think that fetishes, no matter how different or extreme, are a healthy outlet for consenting adults. Exploring sexual fantasies and actually living them out can be very liberating.
I think veterans like @BiancaBaker are a good example. It's a different market than the live content and more into the custom content, I humbly believe.
Although I'm just a payment rep, and still a novice, I've grown to respect it, a lot.
There's no shaming here, we just don't like people who shame others for sport. If I'd ever try stills photography for instance, focus, filters, lens width, I know she's a go to (Bianca) for instance. Feel free to grill me
Although I'm just a payment rep, and still a novice, I've grown to respect it, a lot.
There's no shaming here, we just don't like people who shame others for sport. If I'd ever try stills photography for instance, focus, filters, lens width, I know she's a go to (Bianca) for instance. Feel free to grill me
CharlottesBox
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I honestly don't think it's acceptable to shame any fetish, even things on the OPs "gross" list. People are into what they are into, lots of times it's not really a choice. How they engage with that fetish and other people is a choice and that's where I start to draw the line. CnC play (consensual non-consent) is a very very common thing between two adults who talk about it thoroughly first and have safety precautions lined up for example, for me...this is acceptable. Animals and kids cannot consent so that is unacceptable behaviour but the fetish still remains. If they are pressuring or harassing you about a fetish...that's just being rude and disrespectful, it's nothing to do with their desires so you probably wouldn't want to interact with that person regardless. Finding appropriate outlets for these feelings and quite possibly therapy is key I think. Isolation and shaming is especially unhealthy for people in that position and kind of ignorant considering you don't live in their skin or know why they have this fetish or what their intentions are.
There is a polite way to say no, that's not my thing, I don't do that, not for me, bye bye.
The more you shame and isolate a community the less transparency there will be and those people who are into CnC etc won't be educated on the safety issues and how to get consent or the therapy they need for trauma, if that's where the fetish or kink comes from.
Legality and TOS on your caming site obviously plays a factor but if we are just talking about the moral/shame aspects, that's what I think.
There is a polite way to say no, that's not my thing, I don't do that, not for me, bye bye.
The more you shame and isolate a community the less transparency there will be and those people who are into CnC etc won't be educated on the safety issues and how to get consent or the therapy they need for trauma, if that's where the fetish or kink comes from.
Legality and TOS on your caming site obviously plays a factor but if we are just talking about the moral/shame aspects, that's what I think.
dilligaf0
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If the "Help me find this camgirl" posts count as a fetish, then yes.
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This may be unpopular to say, but to be totally honest I don't believe in kink shaming... BUT there have been a few times where I felt sort of bad because someone requested a particular kink in a custom vid and I said no. It's tough fore me to gently let people know I won't do something sometimes.
Why did you find tough about it? There are kinks I don't think are harmful, but have no interest in. There are kinks that I might be interested in but don't know how to approach so I don't do them. There are kinks that I think are gross and/or harmful that I don't do. There's no reason to feel bad or like you're making any commentary on their kinks just because you can't/won't participate. I just say "sorry, I can't, thanks though" and if they ask why I answer honestly.
I don't outwardly yell SHAAAAAAME but there are kinks that I judge. I think kinks can sometimes be maladaptive and indulging them can be bad on a personal level, and there are kinks (or even just like...sexual tropes?) that I think can have a reverberating negative effect on society. But I wouldn't go running around shaming one individual for that. I just don't subscribe to the idea that if it gets you hard, it's unequivocally positive and unquestionable. I do have my own kinks, one of which was definitely a maladaptive coping mechanism for actual issues, and some that are just fun sexy things that might be ~weird~ but aren't harmful.
BiancaBaker
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You should NEVER feel bad about saying no.. I say no all the freaking time. You can't pretend to like something you are against.
I'm a straight up asshole when someone asks me to swallow a gold fish (once I've been nice about it in my initial email)- I am ALWAYS nice until someone gives me a reason to not be so nice. If I say no the answer is no (and believe me I do A LOT of weird shit) and if they keep at it thats when the asshole comes out. You should always stand your ground when someone pushes boundaries and never do something that makes you physically uncomfortable.
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Wait... Someone asked you to swallow a GOLD FISH? ... I feel like i'm supposed to graze over that but that's by far the craziest thing I've ever heard.
dilligaf0
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Actually it was a real fad in 1939. (Mostly on college campuses.)
BiancaBaker
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thats deff not the craziest thing I've ever heard but yes it's real, yes it exists. Go search the VORE category on C4S. The top studios are girls swallowing gold fish.
ALSO c4s told me goldfish were not animals (FML I KNOW) and that since they are not considered animals girls are allowed to swallow them. - Now I do NOT kink shame but I am a huge animal activist and this is torture Imo - AND yes gold fish are fucking animals. They breath, they swim, the procreate-- they ARE an animal.
Edit to add: I think the candid category needs to go. TO many times have there been children in the video's. Also they told me as long as you blur the persons face out you can film anyone YET we are required to have model release forms and take model release forms from other models when filming with them. Theres SOOO many studios that DO not have release forms for all those women they film. And some even are questionable about being 18. There's 1 studio and I swear the girl is 16 at MAX- I've asked c4s twice to age verify and they won't or make excuses.. Sometimes they are awesome, sometimes they aren't.
So yes there are categories that boil my blood but I still will not kink shame.
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... But that's ... heh, this is a rare moment where I have no words to describe how I feel. And it only took me googling vore.
BiancaBaker
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Start feeling rage man lol. (if your an animal person)
SaffronBurke
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It's a super common request. I do vore with candy: gummy bears, gummy worms, Swedish fish, and sour patch kids, so people will ask me to swallow fish or bugs - uh, fuck no, that's not right. I've also been asked to crush worms, and again, hell no. If they wanted me to do it with gummy worms, that would be fine. But they want to see actual death, and ew.
I won't pretend I don't have "weird" fetishes myself - I like gore, but only when it's theatrical gore that I know is fake. Seeing genuine gore makes me sick.
Guy
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It's nice to know i'm not being a dipshit when I say no. Honestly felt kind of guilty about it.
JickyJuly
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Not to derail, but what basis are they using to say that fish are not animals? Sounds like the religious stance. If it's illegal to eat live animals in porn, it is illegal to eat live fish. No one cares if the Catholics are allowed to eat shit on Fridays. Seems like a lawyer would tell c4s that.
SaffronBurke
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They are. There must be verification proving that everyone appearing in a video of a pornographic nature is above 18.
A certain website *cough*clips4sale*cough* just chooses to skirt the issue by hiding behind the Candid category. "'Candid' means that the person doesn't know that they're being filmed, so they're not going to have forms on file." "It's not against the law to film people in public, news reporters and YouTubers do it." I've attempted to report creeper studios filming people's butts or feet in malls and grocery stores and got these answers. If you want to report people catching kids on camera, you have to report individual clips, not the whole studio, and they often take down just those clips and leave the store up.
Now, my arguments to their "defenses":
Yes, the candid category is meant to be people who "don't know they're being filmed", but that's so easy to fake. I (and many others) make "hidden camera" clips where the description is all, "oh, I didn't know that you hid a camera in my closet/bathroom/whatever, teehee", when in reality, that camera is boldly on a tripod in the middle of the damn room and I'm just pretending not to notice. I could easily hire someone to follow me around a "public" secluded place while I pretend that I don't know they're filming my ass.
While it's not illegal to film the general public without consent, it is considered rude. I have relatives who love watching COPS, and the people behind that show have everyone appearing sign a release form if they consent to having their face shown. If a person doesn't sign, their face is blurred out. I've seen people arrested on that show with a blurred-out face. Furthermore, porn isn't YouTube or the news. It's wank material. You have to be 18 to be in wank material, and I can guarantee that the kid being pushed through the mall in a stroller is not 18.
SaffronBurke
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Considering that the rules stipulate that you can't crush small animals like kittens or rabbits, I'm going to guess that by "animal", they mean "mammal".
Could the reason Goldfish Swallowing is allowed, as opposed to stomping or crushing an animal, is because it can be seen at eating the creature? Society accepts hurting animals in order to eat them but not hurting animals without eating them.
Maybe that's why?
Maybe that's why?
BiancaBaker
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I have NO idea I argued with them LITERALLY for hours before I gave up! I know a ton of girls who tried as well to get it gone.
Also @Guy they DO age verify but my issue with candid is that sometimes they get someone in the shot there not supposed to and they don't blur the face. Of COURSE we all pretend (most of us) in that candid category- but there have been studios that have been shut down due to having children in the background or what not. It does happen- Just like clips with blood and poop will not get caught RIGHT away.. Doesn't mean c4s doesn't catch it- sometimes it just takes time.
Well, after stumbling on the goldfish topic (you had me off guard there for a moment), I can say that declining a fetish does not mean you shame it, or the customer who requested it. "I don't do this and don't do that" is a perfectly professional assertion and boundary in my book.
JickyJuly
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Did some digging. Apparently, there's not a law about eating live fish in the US (there are in some other countries), but state/local law enforcement can charge someone with animal cruelty as they deem worthy. Porn girls eating live pet fish in red states should probs watch themselves. All they need is someone trying to get the sheriff position looking for a headline. Boom. You're the gross MF who eats live animals for money all over your small town and not just on the internet.
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