Depression/Remaining + Advice

[KelliAutumn]

I've been struggling with depression for 12 years (I'm 21, so the majority of my life) and I've been having a really difficult time keeping my life and mood in order. I've noticed it drastically effects my camming career and peoples opinion of myself in this community (due to me always falling back onto sadness when things don't go as planned)


I was wondering if anybody had any advice for me? Both cam girls and cam viewers?

What do you all do to remain in good spirits even when things aren't going right?
How do cope with sadness (both in this community and normal life?)
How do you stay motivated?

I know I post a lot about mental heath /physical health issues but I'm hoping to come across people who have been in my position before and have beaten it who can share insight.

thank you all so much

 

[FirePlay69]

Don't get on cam when you are in a bad mood. Take an antidepressant, get therapy and try to stay active.

Hope you feel better soon!

 

[KelliAutumn]

Don't get on cam when you are in a bad mood. Take an antidepressant, get therapy and try to stay active.

Hope you feel better soon!

Thank you! I've actually been working out and find I'm happier after
I'm also going to be starting to see a spiritual therapist soon, and hoping to find a natural antidepressant.
Ty so much beautiful!

 

[FirePlay69]

Yes working out does help. I feel better when I work out. Also spiritual healing is what a lot of us need as well. Prayer helps me a lot.

You'll be fine. Remember always, "This too shall pass."

Take care.

 

[RainyDayGuy]

I've been struggling with depression for 12 years (I'm 21, so the majority of my life) and I've been having a really difficult time keeping my life and mood in order. I've noticed it drastically effects my camming career and peoples opinion of myself in this community (due to me always falling back onto sadness when things don't go as planned)

Just wanted to say, if others have a problem with you being depressed, that is their issue. I know that doesn't help on the camming career front but on the issue of other people's opinion, if someone thinks less of you for being depressed, well, fuck them and their opinion.

What do you all do to remain in good spirits even when things aren't going right?
How do cope with sadness (both in this community and normal life?)
How do you stay motivated?

Unfortunately there are no easy answers. Having a good support system is important, but not everyone has that. Finding people that understand and are willing to help, whether they be professionals or just really awesome people or family members, whatever works. Then again, not being able to find such people can be really depressing. That's probably not very helpful. Sorry.

I personally struggle with the issues of motivation and trying to stay positive. Finding outlets for expression has been a key for me, creating art specifically. Finding things you are passionate about and making time to explore them. I wish I had some better advice, but that's all that's coming to mind at the moment.

I know I post a lot about mental heath /physical health issues but I'm hoping to come across people who have been in my position before and have beaten it who can share insight.

I think most people that deal with mental health issues would say that you will never beat it. You can learn to manage it and to lead a productive life and even perhaps a happy life, but there is no beating it. Accepting that it is a part of you is one of the keys in my personal experience. Learn to love yourself for who you are, including the flaws. Oh god, that sounds so cheesy.

 

[Picnic]

I'm in the same boat. Been struggling with anxiety & depression for over half my life now. There will always be ups and downs.

First and foremost, I try to be honest when I find myself going through another cycle of shitiness. Just a simple, "hey, kinda not really feeling like myself right now." I don't want to focus on negative stuff when camming, but I find that when I'm honest, I have more motivation to "find myself again", because there's friends & members rooting for me. I don't dwell on my depression when it comes to cam stuff, but I let people know when I need support.

Working out, as someone else mentioned, and eating well (although that's quite the challenge when you're depressed! still, it really works).

Medication has also helped a fuck load.

Good luck! I know how hard it is.

 

[Summermfc]

Hey I'm so sorry to hear you're still struggling I have had depression and anxiety for about 2 years now and wouldn't wish it on anybody. Like others have said exercise helps a ton. For a really quick work out try blogilates.com it's where I turn. Medication is also amazing. You wouldn't not take medication for diabetes or cancer is if you needed it and depression is just as much of a valid illness as any physical ones so don't feel weak for going down that road if you need to. A natural one I've heard of working is st John's wort but not sure how powerful that stuff is.

Also not drinking alcohol when on cam I have noticed helps me stay cheery

Keep going x

 

[Ambers Troll]

I know I post a lot about mental heath /physical health issues but I'm hoping to come across people who have been in my position before and have beaten it who can share insight.

Sounds like you know the underlying cause of your depression, whatever it is, it has not defeated you yet. Forgive your past depressions (even if you had good cause to be), treat it as it comes to you, not from past moments.

Advice: Try to focus on your symptoms of depression (for example anxiety, or lack of sleep) and face it like that. Whatever you try with facing your depression, avoid doing anything too compulsive, or that can lead to addiction. Simple small things first, like bright light/ sunlight when starting your day, good rituals when sleeping etc. (get some sex, get some exercise, get some laughs when you can)
It is one of those things that you tend to manage. If it does have an underlying cause, managing the depression is the start of healing.

 

[VallieBeuys]

I struggle a lot with depression and anxiety too (one of the reasons I was so interested in being my own boss!). What has worked for me, better than any medication, is recognizing toxic thinking and working to change my thought patterns. If I notice that my thoughts have been really negative, that I've been saying nasty things to myself (that little voice in your head that tells you you're shit, or ugly, or not fun enough), or that I've been getting in my own way, I focus on changing my thoughts to positive ones. I tell myself how awesome I am and remind myself that I deserve to feel good and be happy. I treat myself to an at home beauty day. I buy a new nail polish and really take the time to paint my nails all special. I do something good for myself that gives me something to feel good about. I take care of something that I usually take pride in. I try to go for an extra long walk with my dog, or go out and get a sandwich from the cute cafe and listen to something pleasant on my phone. I try to be nice to myself. It's really hard to be nice to yourself when everything in your head is telling you that you suck and aren't worth it, but that's all the depression talking. I still have periods of feeling yucky and negative, but I can recognize them for what they are. Unproductive, negative, and sometimes downright unrealistic/selfish expectations. I'm not saying that depression is selfish, but I find that I can behave selfishly or at least react to things selfishly when I am feeling depressed.

Also, when I'm feeling really negative, I put my cam related social media away and don't touch it other than to let my friends and supporters know that I'm alive and fine, just needing to get my head back on straight. I want all things Vallie related to be about feeling good, coming together for fun, having good conversation, and enjoying sexy times. If I really need to rant on social media I'll come to the MO part of the forum and give the girls an earful... :whistle: Or I'll talk about it on my personal accounts that aren't connected to camming. I can be as big a Negative Nancy as I need to be on my personal media. :thumbleft: Sometimes venting is really necessary and knowing that if I do it in the right place it won't affect my job helps me feel better too.

 

[AshleyNicole_]

Turmeric acts as a natural anti depressant and may be something to try. That along with B12 and magnesium supplements have helped more than prescription anti depressants ever did. Make sure to do your own research though, because everyone is different.

As far as feeling better, with depression its hard. Its kind of a fake it until you make it kind of thing, but faking it isn't easy. Good luck and HUGS.

 

[LacieLaPlante]

Don't get on cam when you are in a bad mood. Take an antidepressant, get therapy and try to stay active.

Hope you feel better soon!

This advice does not work for long bouts of depression. In my experience, during long bouts of depression you really need to force yourself online and push yourself into the community aspect. Enjoy being with people, try to find something that makes you laugh, that you enjoy doing. And expect to make zero tokens doing it, so you can be pleasantly surprised if it goes well. And don't stay on if you get that "I hate you all for not appreciating me right now" feeling, that's when it's time to take a break and come back in an hour with a cookie and a better feeling towards camming (snacks make me happy).

Too many times have I let myself say, "I am too depressed to cam today" and let my whole life fall to crumbles around me because of monetary struggles.. It becomes a cycle. Then you're depressed about money, worried that you won't make anything online, worried about your camscore, but then also too depressed to get online and do anything about it.

So, for longer bouts I really say its important to push yourself online and at least test the waters. You don't have to be your happiest, you just have to be good at customer service and take the small joys as big happy things, because why not.

 

[Worship Jaclyn]

I agree with the above. Not getting online when I'm in a bad mood would never be an option for me. I think the only option is really to fake it until you make it but that is easier said than done.

The only thing that works for me so far is to always take advantage when I'm in a good mood. When I'm in a good mood I hop on cam even though I'd rather be doing other things with my positive energy. Obviously I do better on those shows and so that makes up for any lacking days I have.

You're on mfc and cb right? I've stuck with cb for a few reasons, the biggest probably being that I can make just as much money without being crazy outgoing and entertaining. When I'm depressed I can fake a smile but I can't fake dancing around and laughing and whatnot, I just can't. I remember you have aspergers too so I mentioned that in case you have the same issue.

I read a lot of self help books and journal a lot. What helps my depression is just being in touch with myself and respecting my limits.

I want to mention something negative I see we have in common and I hope you don't mind. I was shocked to see you being at the top of the page on mfc one night when I felt like I had heard you complain quite a bit about how dead you were on mfc. And maybe that is dead to you, that is fine and I'm sure is frustrating. I think you talked about quitting mfc and then shortly after were aiming for a top 150 or something like that? You seem to post a lot of back and forth about loving/hating websites is my point. I'm not judging because I do the EXACT same thing. One day I think "holy shit this is amazing I am going to do the same thing" and the next day I am completely ready to give up because I can't believe how bad it is going and how no one likes me. I am almost completely unable to see past the current moment. So I started keeping a notepad next to my computer with my toughts after each shift. Then I can look and see that three days ago I had an absolutely banging shift. It's been really helpful in keeping my hopes up and not letting a slow day get me down. Again, I am insanely sensitive so I don't mean to offend or judge I just thought I could offer a tip since I am the same way.

 

[Picnic]

Also, when I'm feeling really negative, I put my cam related social media away and don't touch it other than to let my friends and supporters know that I'm alive and fine, just needing to get my head back on straight. I want all things Vallie related to be about feeling good, coming together for fun, having good conversation, and enjoying sexy times. If I really need to rant on social media I'll come to the MO part of the forum and give the girls an earful... :whistle: Or I'll talk about it on my personal accounts that aren't connected to camming. I can be as big a Negative Nancy as I need to be on my personal media. :thumbleft: Sometimes venting is really necessary and knowing that if I do it in the right place it won't affect my job helps me feel better too.

THIS! I have had to force myself out of this habit. I've had moments where I posted things to social media, then re-read it and been like "....well fuck, no one wants to hear that!" and deleted it. Example, "wow, today was such a shitty day on cam " Of course my friends will care, but still - no one wants to see a sad cam girl. I'm supposed to be entertaining them, not depressing them.

I try to be honest while also remaining as positive as possible. Maybe I had a shit day on cam, but got a new tipper. I'll try to focus on that instead of what went wrong. "Thank you guys for hanging out on cam, and many thanks to my new tipper!" vs "what a shit day on cam." Sounds a lot better, am I right? This also relates to what Vallie was saying about positive thinking! It really does help.

 

[KudosKids]

I am new here my name is B. I am a big fan of mfc models. Hello everybody! Members and models. Just thought I would be polite and introduce myself before I go into a long explanation to help this girl out.

First off, as you can see you are not alone. Many people suffer from mood disorders including myself, have been since I started puberty. I'm going to tell you all my knowledge on this subject as I have studied it a great deal since my ultimate breakdown a year ago.
First things first, DO NOT take any form of prescription drug UNLESS this sickness is making you delusional or you are absolutely positive that you are going to commit suicide. If you are at this point, do not stay on the medication for years. This is a temporary fix. Getting hooked on meds will only make you worse mentally and physically. Secondly, people are selfish assholes. Everyone has problems, and if people would listen instead of look the other way, in my opinion depression would be less of a issue in our world. Unfortunately we do not get to control how we feel all the time, and the slightest thing can trigger our brains to seek deep into sadness at any time. If this is affecting your job, then I suggest taking a break until you get yourself back on the right track. Counseling may work, although it never did for me no matter how hard I tried and how many different therapists I saw, they didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know. Now I'll tell you what did help me. 1.Eating right (eating chemicals rots your brain) 2. Exercising (releases endorphins) 3. Start taking fish oil 4.Meditate(I'm not joking, this has done wonders to my unbalanced brain, more then anything) 5. Try your best not to drink, you may feel good while you are drunk, but the next day you are going to notice a severe feeling of depression(This is not a hangover, this is your brain telling you, I am already depressed, why are you feeding me more depressants?)

If you are having a bad day do not broadcast. Instead, learn how to meditate, master the art of it. Once you do that, I swear by it. If you are feeling down, go meditate for a hour and you will feel brand new. Hope this helps!

 

[SpencerStorm]

I am new here my name is B. I am a big fan of mfc models. Hello everybody! Members and models. Just thought I would be polite and introduce myself before I go into a long explanation to help this girl out.

First off, as you can see you are not alone. Many people suffer from mood disorders including myself, have been since I started puberty. I'm going to tell you all my knowledge on this subject as I have studied it a great deal since my ultimate breakdown a year ago.
First things first, DO NOT take any form of prescription drug UNLESS this sickness is making you delusional or you are absolutely positive that you are going to commit suicide. If you are at this point, do not stay on the medication for years. This is a temporary fix. Getting hooked on meds will only make you worse mentally and physically. Secondly, people are selfish assholes. Everyone has problems, and if people would listen instead of look the other way, in my opinion depression would be less of a issue in our world. Unfortunately we do not get to control how we feel all the time, and the slightest thing can trigger our brains to seek deep into sadness at any time. If this is affecting your job, then I suggest taking a break until you get yourself back on the right track. Counseling may work, although it never did for me no matter how hard I tried and how many different therapists I saw, they didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know. Now I'll tell you what did help me. 1.Eating right (eating chemicals rots your brain) 2. Exercising (releases endorphins) 3. Start taking fish oil 4.Meditate(I'm not joking, this has done wonders to my unbalanced brain, more then anything) 5. Try your best not to drink, you may feel good while you are drunk, but the next day you are going to notice a severe feeling of depression(This is not a hangover, this is your brain telling you, I am already depressed, why are you feeding me more depressants?)

If you are having a bad day do not broadcast. Instead, learn how to meditate, master the art of it. Once you do that, I swear by it. If you are feeling down, go meditate for a hour and you will feel brand new. Hope this helps!

So I am extremely new to camming so I cannot address the way your depression and anxiety play into that! However, from personal experience I agree with Kudoskids. So many people are on antidepressants because they are a quick fix but honestly they are the worst things for you sometimes.(please understand that I am in no way judging because i have been on many different medications and different balances of medications) Mental illness runs in my family on the maternal and paternal sides: bipolar, depression and chronic anxiety are most common but there have been other cases as well....my mother was on medications for over 30 years before she decided to take her own life, after that I decided that I could not let the sickness drag me down to so I went and seen another psychologist who gave me more pills. I looked one day and i was up to 5 or 6 different kinds of antidepressants/anti-psychotics that were being managed by a doctor. Turns out, the pills were the worst thing for me. Doctors do not like to tell you that the long term effects of these medicines can be far worse than the benefits they offer. In a year's time I lost custody of my son (he was not getting everything he needed though in my state being on the medications I felt that he was), was arrested for assault and battery and had a bad drinking problem. After I lost my son I moved away and got some much needed help. I found a great therapist, amazing, who with the help of a new doctor took me off all of my pills and got me a prescription for medical marijuana, which to my surprise really really helped. 5 years later and I am still doing the marijuana, clean eating, adding exercise( including yoga and meditation), and basic therapy/counseling when i need it and things have been much much better.
Now i know this is my personal experience and not everyone feels this way and for some people medication is a great option. Just make sure you consider all options before you decide that you are always going to be depressed or that you need the pills because trust me the doctor will have no qualms about giving them to you. You will always battle depression every day, it never goes away, but having the right tools and support can make managing it feel like curing it. Whatever you do, do for you, and remember that even when you feel like the world is out to get you you have people in your corner rooting for you!

 

[SinSeraTea]

I wish I had some advice that was going to be more helpful. I've been suicidal for coming on two thirds of my life soon. I'm flexing the date for emphasis, it is a little over half, suicide has been the first option on my mind in response to any problem since I was eleven when things were worst.

Check out your city's mental health and addictions services. Don't let the term 'addictions' fool you, it isn't just NA and AA. They just get lumped in a lot together.

Counselling is the very best way to find out where a lot of your depression/anxiety/assorted symptoms come from with support from someone who has your best interests in mind. People with depression and trauma issues are often stopped by our own brains from putting our needs first the way we should be. Usually because we are trained not to for the benefit of our abusers (whether they know this or not, abuse is more frequently unintentional. Especially in a world full of traumatized people prone to revictimizing themselves even if society isn't (and it frequently does) revictimizing them already.

If you don't have mental health/addictions services. Try a family life association. They often have lay counselors that are people on roughly my level of awareness. They've gone through a course or had serious shit to overcome themselves. They might not be perfect but they can help a lot. And it is cheap and tailored to your income.

If that doesn't work. Please try Moodgym.org This is an online Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course and it is kind of silly but bear with it. It helps.

Thoughts on camming with depression:
My depression and anxiety makes camming hard as shit for me. I don't rely solely on camming and wouldn't try because I'm positively absolutely utterly incapable of maintaining any kind of reliable schedule.

What are your triggers? When I say trigger, people experience them differently. Find out what actually causes you to become upset and why. Then you have power over it.

Alternatively, I suggest existential crisis. Tear apart your life, find where your toxins came from and address how to change them and your life for the better. It isn't fun. But it gets results if you survive.

What I have is not a biological issue with depression. I am a complex, multiple trauma case of PTSD, Depression and Anxiety. The thing I thought caused my trauma for the past ten years seemed so bad it eclipsed a somewhat more serious issue for me. Its a mind bender and life is like that sometimes.

I got help and have been getting help throughout and that has saved my life. The fact that I survived last year was only possible due to the counseling I received through my university and my city's mental health/addictions services in my early twenties. So that I knew when to get serious help when my (flawed) coping skills weren't cutting it.

Do it. If not for right now. For when you have a crisis.

If you're having a hard time dealing when everything seems ok. When shit falls apart it is less than no fun.

Edit: ABOUT MEDS.

I used to be super against them. I thought they were overprescribed. I thought people asked for them too easily.

BULLSHIT.

If your depression is affecting your life in such a way that makes you unable to cope. Try the fucking meds.

You don't have to keep taking them for more than a month and if you don't feel they help, you can quit. If you feel they change you. You can quit. If you don't like the results. QUIT!

Medication saved my life when I couldn't drop more than I had already dropped and I was scaring myself. I needed to be more functional than I was, and by more functional, I spent Christmas alone, contemplating suicide and avoiding contemplating suicide by watching Russel Peter's world tours on netflix when there were people that had offered me a place to stay. You need to be more functional than that.

I started taking medication in January this year and quit taking the medication in May. Mostly because I couldn't afford it. But also because I worked to change my situation so that I wouldn't need it anymore.

I found that after I quit, I cry. I cry a LOT. Randomly sometimes. But it is over and I get a release out of it each time. I never used to cry much before meds unless I was crying ALL day.

Medications break your cycle of storing things in the depression box to weigh down on you.

It is worth trying if you have found no relief. But they aren't meant for longterm use. You're supposed to change the shit thats causing the problems.

 

[Adreena_]

I won't go into all my issues but I'm terrible for getting into a manic rage when MFC is bad and venting on Twitter like a boss. It looks awful, I am fully aware of this but I have literally one person to vent to and I don't like bugging her because she's also a cam girl and doesn't need my stress thrown at her every day (though I do vent to her a lot, bless her!)

I think Kelli and I are really similar, I see a lot of me in her. It's tough, and me being a person with very little self control and almost no brain/mount filter, I think I have scared a lot of people off by raging on Twitter (I usually delete stuff later)

Most people think I want a load of attention and sympathy which I don't, at the time I just want to put my angry thoughts and feelings out there then be left alone. It's an awful cycle which has become a bit uncontrollable. Diazepam (Valium) before cam can help but I'm not allowed to take too many of those because my doctor will get angry >.<

 

[KudosKids]

I won't go into all my issues but I'm terrible for getting into a manic rage when MFC is bad and venting on Twitter like a boss. It looks awful, I am fully aware of this but I have literally one person to vent to and I don't like bugging her because she's also a cam girl and doesn't need my stress thrown at her every day (though I do vent to her a lot, bless her!)

I think Kelli and I are really similar, I see a lot of me in her. It's tough, and me being a person with very little self control and almost no brain/mount filter, I think I have scared a lot of people off by raging on Twitter (I usually delete stuff later)

Most people think I want a load of attention and sympathy which I don't, at the time I just want to put my angry thoughts and feelings out there then be left alone. It's an awful cycle which has become a bit uncontrollable. Diazepam (Valium) before cam can help but I'm not allowed to take too many of those because my doctor will get angry >.<

You know what sweetheart, I think everyone on this thread can relate to you. Sometimes we become so angry we don't know what to do with it other then to vent to stop us from doing worse things. And alot of people do not want to listen, if anything it scares them off because your "negative" and clearly when you look at the top models. Positivity and good energy is what attracts members. Its hard to be unhappy around people who are happy correct? Social media has become the new aged diary. Everyone wants to put there personal life out there, whether it is good or bad. I have done this myself many times. I took down my facebook because of it, because I see to much evil on it. I see so many videos of dead bodies, people fighting, animal abuse. I learned that social media was a trigger for me. I understand that people post these things to show awareness, but in my opinion your just as bad as the person who is video taping the evil doings and not stopping it. We were aware of all these atrocious doings before facebook/twitter/instagram were created. Reposting it, is not going to stop it. If you want to make a differrence, start a movement of some kind. If you are using social media as a venting solution, maybe you should not have one. Nothing feels worse when your trying to seek help and acceptance from others and it being turned into you "looking for attention". If you need to vent, counseling is a great way to do that. There are hotlines you can call at anytime and they will gladly listen to you. If you are spiritual in anyway, go to god. He will always listen to you. Do not put your personal life out there for arrogance to judge you. It will only seek you deeper into sadness.

 

[kuntykim]

Working out has definitely best the best antidepressant for me! Hang in there.