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Sep 3, 2014
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Don't take your regulars for granted. Today I experienced what I think are "fucked up" moves by cam models.

- Don't tell me you've had enough of camming today and say bye while I am tipping you then change your mind when another member who doesn't visit your room often then blow me off. Especially when I'm the only one tipping you. And you wonder why people are not tipping you.

- Don't talk about your sex life in freechat. If you can give the friend of a friend of a friend or the guy from the gym or club a chance, then why not a regular? It's wrong in other ways too and just plain tacky. To me, it just shows the total lack of intimacy you shared with a person.

- Don't complain your regulars don't visit you anymore when your schedule is erratic. That's the reason why we don't show up. It's because no one knows when you are going to be online!

I don't care if people disagree with me because we all think differently. I can understand a disagreement but doesn't mean I will acknowledge it or relate to it, as you don't see my point either if you disagree. To those who do agree with me, I think I'm just asking for some common courtesy. Two phrases come to my mind now... Don't bite the hand that feeds you and treat others as you like them to treat you.
 
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Dear Diary...

(in all seriousness - these gripes are obviously with one person.. and you should bring them to her respectfully, or simply don't go back and start journalling. Many of them are indeed your preferences - especially the sex life discussion. Many times camgirls get PAID to talk about their sex life and makes it part of her room. I have one guy who likes to tip me to talk about what I do at BDSM events)
 
guyonarock said:
If you can give the friend of a friend of a friend or the guy from the gym or club a chance, then why not a regular? It's wrong in other ways too and just plain tacky. To me, it just shows the total lack of intimacy you shared with a person.

The friend of a friend probably doesn't know she's a camgirl in real life. So she can decide after getting to know him in person if she's willing to share that knowledge. And if he turns out to be a douche it's much easier to walk away and leave it without him ever finding out.

The regular, she doesn't know if he's psychotic, stalkerish or a perfect gentleman. But she does know he's seen her naked and masturbating before they've even had a cup of coffee. Much riskier to wind up with unknown number of problems from 'giving them a chance.'

Most people can tell the difference between the two scenarios you mention. Your belief in it being wrong and tacky is way off base.
 
For realz though, why don't more bbs meet up with members who they've only ever spoken to online for casual sex? What's the worst that could happen? Have things become awkward and have that member reveal their address to everybody out of spite? Member turns out to be an axe murderer? A Nickelback fan? That's not so bad, is it?
 
guyonarock said:
- Don't tell me you've had enough of camming today and say bye while I am tipping you then change your mind when another member who doesn't visit your room often then blow me off.

- Don't complain your regulars don't visit you anymore when your schedule is erratic. That's the reason why we don't show up. It's because no one knows when you are going to be online!

although he seems to be venting at one model in particular i have seen these 2 points of his happen all too often :twocents-02cents:
 
eddielaw1971 said:
guyonarock said:
- Don't tell me you've had enough of camming today and say bye while I am tipping you then change your mind when another member who doesn't visit your room often then blow me off.

- Don't complain your regulars don't visit you anymore when your schedule is erratic. That's the reason why we don't show up. It's because no one knows when you are going to be online!

although he seems to be venting at one model in particular i have seen these 2 points of his happen all too often :twocents-02cents:

That member could be her largest tipper or her BFF, you do not always know everything that is going on behind the scenes of a room.
 
i’m gonna try to write the most thought-out response i can possibly muster so here goes…

I’m a fellow member like yourself, so i can empathise to a degree. I try my best looking at things objectively and take in all sides before concluding to anything. When i read your rant, i may or may not have an idea of who you’re referring to, since a specific camgirl does come to mind when reading your post, so yes i can see where you might be coming from.

But here’s the thing: i have hard time fully empathizing with you given your head-first barge onto this forum with an emotionally-fueled rant filled with a ton of frustration, not to mention the manner in which you just lectured at your target audience. It seems like this post is to alleviate the frustration, rather than a giving a well thought-out message. If you really want camgirls take your message to heart, i suggest practicing diplomacy first. Better yet, take a breather to calm them nerves, THEN try posting with a cool head. Right now, it’s difficult to respect anything you say with that level of emotion, so don’t expect much in the way of quality responses.

Let me try to address the bullet points you laid out...

- Don't tell me you've had enough of camming today and say bye while I am tipping you then change your mind when another member who doesn't visit your room often then blow me off. Especially when I'm the only one tipping you. And you wonder why people are not tipping you.
If that’s exactly the full context that went down, then yes it sucks. Maybe you’re better off finding another camgirl that doesn’t pull that stunt because there’s sure as hell other camgirls who are awesome.

- Don't talk about your sex life in freechat. If you can give the friend of a friend of a friend or the guy from the gym or club a chance, then why not a regular? It's wrong in other ways too and just plain tacky. To me, it just shows the total lack of intimacy you shared with a person.
There’s a myriad of reasons why camgirls don’t date people from the internet. You probably don’t realize it all and i’m not gonna go into a whole thing about it here. Also, sex talk can just be just talk, and not necessarily intimate convo. Some folks are open about their sex life than others and aren’t afraid to share. Don’t assume all sex talk is intimate.

- Don't complain your regulars don't visit you anymore when your schedule is erratic. That's the reason why we don't show up. It's because no one knows when you are going to be online!
A lof of camgirls, especially here on ACF, understand the importance of a regular schedule, and communicating when they’ll be online or away for extended time. Don’t let one model be the representative for all models since MANY other camgirls are very on point with their schedules.

And like some other people suggested above, it’s best to address these issues with the model and not the general population. Coming on here as the new guy with a chip on his shoulder sure makes you look irrational and foolish. If you want to stick around and have meaningful discussion without the tirade, then people will welcome that from you.

Btw, welcome to ACF.
 
guyonarock said:
- Don't talk about your sex life in freechat. If you can give the friend of a friend of a friend or the guy from the gym or club a chance, then why not a regular?
Here's the thing about sex in real life, outside of the Internet:
Many people tend to only have sex with people they're actually sexually attracted to.
I know, WTF, right? So rude. :shock:
 
LilyMarie said:
guyonarock said:
- Don't talk about your sex life in freechat. If you can give the friend of a friend of a friend or the guy from the gym or club a chance, then why not a regular?
Here's the thing about sex in real life, outside of the Internet:
Many people tend to only have sex with people they're actually sexually attracted to.
I know, WTF, right? So rude. :shock:

How dare they! The prudes! :snooty:
 
Shaun__ said:
eddielaw1971 said:
guyonarock said:
- Don't tell me you've had enough of camming today and say bye while I am tipping you then change your mind when another member who doesn't visit your room often then blow me off.

although he seems to be venting at one model in particular i have seen these 2 points of his happen all too often :twocents-02cents:

That member could be her largest tipper or her BFF, you do not always know everything that is going on behind the scenes of a room.

Exactly! This is really important. If you see a model do this (and not a million other things you don't like obviously) try to give her the benefit of the doubt. I currently have a member who is never in my room but always watches. He only sends big ninja tips and always tips me when I am offline which is doing wonders for my camscore. None of my other regulars even know who he is or that he exists. So if someone were to be tipping but not tipping enough for me to stay online and he pops in, yes I am going to stay online because I know that he will make it worth it. Nothing makes me feel more guilty than when someone is actually tipping but I still have to log off. Most models know how much they need to make an hour in tokens in order to keep their camscore where it is and if we are making significantly less than that, regardless of how nice you are or how much you are tipping, we just can't stay online. Trust me, we feel awkward about it! So yes. My point is that if this happens, try not to take it personal or assume that you aren't being appreciated.

:twocents-02cents:
 
He's going to go creep on her show tomorrow. I just know it. I always see members complain about a model and then sit and watch that model everyday after just not tip her.
 
Yes to respond to the many that have replied, I guess I do care what you think. My initial post was fueled with angry and I would like to apologize to the many readers. The best thing about the camsites is the interaction. So yeah visiting the same camgirl for about 10 years I can safely say I am emotionally invested. I would like to think a bond was nurtured but I can't say for sure. Even though this is a business we are making connections just like any other place. I still feel slighted that I was brushed off to the side after seeing the frustration from these slow days and holding conversations or something that resembles a conversation in the freechat of a camsite. Or in the instance I described earlier where I was tipping in a otherwise silent chatroom. The thing that started me off, besides the empathy of her frustration, was the look of disgust and sharping typing of "had enough of this" and abrupt "bye." Only to witness her do a double take when a fellow member who hasn't appeared once in several weeks. So yeah I don't know what goes on behind the scenes, I only know what I observe and what she tells me. Anyways, he pops up and like a second wind hits her. Hey, I'm human I have my own insecurities and I just let envy and jealous win me over. I mean I spending hours supporting her and ask her if she would stay longer now. Without so much as a yes or another kind of affirmative. Just a combination of these things and I become a ranting loon.

And... the sex talk thing... I still think it was distasteful telling and dissecting the quirks of her sex partner. Then having the followers of her room making half-assed assumptions and making fun of the guy. When it might not have been him that was odd but she was the one messed up. I don't know maybe she was just ranting like I am now and that's how she deals with things. But I will say this, "damn if that's her in real life." Why would anyone want to take her to a private show and be under any kind of scrutiny such as that? At least, that's what I thought while being in the chatroom.
 
guyonarock said:
Yes to respond to the many that have replied, I guess I do care what you think. My initial post was fueled with angry and I would like to apologize to the many readers. The best thing about the camsites is the interaction. So yeah visiting the same camgirl for about 10 years I can safely say I am emotionally invested. I would like to think a bond was nurtured but I can't say for sure. Even though this is a business we are making connections just like any other place. I still feel slighted that I was brushed off to the side after seeing the frustration from these slow days and holding conversations or something that resembles a conversation in the freechat of a camsite. Or in the instance I described earlier where I was tipping in a otherwise silent chatroom. The thing that started me off, besides the empathy of her frustration, was the look of disgust and sharping typing of "had enough of this" and abrupt "bye." Only to witness her do a double take when a fellow member who hasn't appeared once in several weeks. So yeah I don't know what goes on behind the scenes, I only know what I observe and what she tells me. Anyways, he pops up and like a second wind hits her. Hey, I'm human I have my own insecurities and I just let envy and jealous win me over. I mean I spending hours supporting her and ask her if she would stay longer now. Without so much as a yes or another kind of affirmative. Just a combination of these things and I become a ranting loon.

And... the sex talk thing... I still think it was distasteful telling and dissecting the quirks of her sex partner. Then having the followers of her room making half-assed assumptions and making fun of the guy. When it might not have been him that was odd but she was the one messed up. I don't know maybe she was just ranting like I am now and that's how she deals with things. But I will say this, "damn if that's her in real life." Why would anyone want to take her to a private show and be under any kind of scrutiny such as that? At least, that's what I thought while being in the chatroom.

It sounds like you're not having fun viewing this model anymore. And it sucks because, people do drift apart. Things change for people, and somethings you thought you didn't care about, the next day you might.
Sometimes it's good to step away from that person and process how you're feeling. I'm sorry you felt insecure. :/ That's a shitty feeling to have, especially when I know many models try to boost a viewers confidence.
I would take your energy into finding a new model that makes you happy. Good luck!
 
guyonarock said:
And... the sex talk thing... I still think it was distasteful telling and dissecting the quirks of her sex partner. Then having the followers of her room making half-assed assumptions and making fun of the guy. When it might not have been him that was odd but she was the one messed up. I don't know maybe she was just ranting like I am now and that's how she deals with things. But I will say this, "damn if that's her in real life." Why would anyone want to take her to a private show and be under any kind of scrutiny such as that? At least, that's what I thought while being in the chatroom.

That's fair. And if that's how it happened, I'm sure you weren't the only one who felt that way.
 
It sounds like this model is perhaps experiencing some burn out. I love the explanations I've seen in this thread. There are some amazingly perceptive models and users here.

Maybe she has those thoughts, it is so easy to be critical of someone we know and live with, someone like a sexual partner. Without realizing that other people we don't know who don't know our situation would worry we could be this way about them. But it is strain I think that makes us forget these things.

If something makes you uncomfortable, there is always one hundred percent a way to bring it up reasonably and kindly. And it is a wonderful thing to do. I always want to know when there's something going on that affects the comfort and welcoming vibe of my room.

You could have messaged her and said "It makes me worry that you would be critical of us to see you be so critical of someone we don't know." Nuff said. Hopefully she wouldn't have been upset with that. Sometimes people react poorly to letting them know you're affected by them.

This comes to a point about interacting with people.

I try to come from a place where I am 'knowing' that a person did not mean to hurt me, so that I can tell people things/help them realize something (they are being perceived as critical and it might not be helpful) so that they can make a decision on how to proceed, maybe they explain they don't care. Maybe they do care and change their expressed behaviour. Maybe they get really mad. That is less fun.

But doing things this way gives people the best benefit of the doubt. I like to give people the *best* chance of not treating me like an asshole and almost no one treats me like an asshole. (I'm not a popular model though so there's that).

When you act like someone meant to harm you... it makes them defensive. And more likely to harm you. Seems silly to me. Most people don't mean to harm.
 
I actually agree with the OP about the sex talk. I can't stand it. I also never, never want to see my favourite models in B/G videos. Ruins the fantasy. But I have to admit lots of guys DO want to see that, and they do want to hear the sex chat. So, if it works for her and she gets a paycheque, who am I tell her she is wrong?
 
You need to emotionally detach yourself and not spend too much time with one girl then if it bothers you. Also a majority of the models on sites like MFC will never, ever meet your IRL considering they are there to masturbate and play with toys for their paychecks. Don't whine about it it's pathetic.
 
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Yeah, I want to echo some of the other posters. You should take a break from this girl for a while if you're not having fun anymore. I don't think trying to talk out these issues with her, or telling her you're uncomfortable or frustrated (no matter how politely) will do much good or be very satisfying for either of you. Either don't tip anyone and stop watching cams for a while, or find another model you like and actually try to have fun. You can visit her again in a month and see how's she's doing, I wouldn't be surprised if she greeted you the same way she did that other member. If it's still not fun for you to hang out in her room, just continue on.
 
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