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Camgirl Girlfriend of 4 Months will not reveal her Online Identity to me...

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Tbh I would never tell a s/o that type of information, maybe after marriage but even then I probably wouldn’t.

Tbh, I would only share my name with them if we were going to perform together.
 
Lol, yeah every cam fan dreams of killing their model crush. :Rollseyes. No need for the tabloid red scares here
Too late. I'm scared half to death now.
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edit: OP, another real consideration is, if she is successful and has been around as long as you say, she may be reading your posts and figure out who YOU are. Proceed with caution.
 
Let me start with "I ended a 2 year relationship because he sought me out online. He found me and watched me and didn't tell me but I KNEW (he said something weird that wasn't a true fact that I had said online) I tried to convince myself I was being a paranoid crazy pants while he creeped my shit daily and denied knowing. I got crazier and crazier until I finally broke up with him and he admitted it 10 minutes later."

Don't be that guy.

That relationship would have ended regardless. We were doomed to breakup eventually just because we are wrong for each other but it didn't have to go down in a ball of flames that it did that greatly affected my mental health for months.

By searching for her after she has asked you not to you are BREAKING HER TRUST. You don't DESERVE to know this info because you have already broken her trust and disrespected her boundaries that she has CLEARLY set in place for you.

My current bf knew my cam name because I foolishly gave it to him years ago because I wanted him to be able to creep my fetlife account where I had posted pictures. But if I could go back I would probably wait until now to give it to him. But he doesn't care. He's literally forgot it. Because even when I acted like it was his buisness he knew it wasn't. He's not even interested in looking at the pictures I post of myself there because they aren't for him and if they are for him I took them and sent them to him first and then they eventually made their way online because I hadn't posted in a while and dug those out of my phone gallery weeks after sharing with him. It's not for him and it makes it less special for him. He wants the pictures and videos that I make for HIM. He wants the real me that's sweet and cute and madly in love with him and gets up 3 hours early just to suck his dick and make breakfast on a Sunday morning before he goes to work. Not the fake sexy I post online that's been adapted for me to be comfortable with the world seeing. Because none of that is for him.

And this is the attitude you need to adopt. Her cam persona isn't for you. It's for her bank account. It's for supporting herself and her Mother. She doesn't belong to you and therefore she is allowed to hold back parts of herself that don't concern you. This isn't part of her sexuality. This is her job. Just like you aren't required to share top secret parts of your job neither is she.

Who she is on cam is likely not who she really is and if you know her cam persona before knowing her it's easy to get the two conflicted. 4 months isn't long enough to know someone. It's been 3 years and my bf is still learning things about me. You need to know the REAL her before you are ever exposed to a multitude of fake information about her.

As well at 4 months there's no promise of forever and no one wants to wonder after a breakup if their ex is jerking off to them.

And if you think you would never dox her think again. Even if you never intentionally do it you may easily accidentally do it. We go to GREAT LENGTHS to protect ourself and it's incredibly easy to accidentally dox someone.

But the bottom line is if you care about someone you should care about their boundaries and what they are comfortable with and respect that.

But I secretly hope she belongs to this forum and see's this and finds out you have already disrespected her boundaries because she DESERVES to know that 4 months in you are already violating her boundaries.
 
And then I think to myself that there is some level of trust missing between us if she would not even let me see how she works online.

Trust is earned, and from what I've read, you don't trust her while she's trusting enough to tell you what she does. Let her do her work in peace, and know that you have an incredible woman who is willing to be a part of your life as she slowly lets you into hears.

Four months is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You're not even really past the point of knowing what she likes in terms of colours, movies, music, etc. Enjoy her company and companionship, and more importantly getting to know her over time. Everyone takes time to open up to others, even those in vanilla jobs. So, what she's doing isn't that big of a deal.


She also told me that another reason that she does not want to reveal her online identity to me is that she thinks that if I were to see it I might change my mind about her. I told her that I do not think that this would be the case after all she desribed to me and how she does her public shows with a lot of style. And even if this should be the case, then I think it would be better knowing that I am really not comfortable having a girlfriend like that.

I have to agree with her on this. If she trusted you enough to tell you what she does, then you turn around and go searching for her, you've broken that trust and probably don't trust her. Which, is another reason why she said she wouldn't say who she is until it's someone she marries.


If what you say is true, simply enjoy being in a relationship with a self-sufficient woman who is slowly learning to trust you enough to let you into her world. You should reciprocate that trust by showing her that you're willing to let her do her job without your oversight, and know that you are the one who has her love.
 
I haven't read all the replies so I don't know if it has been already said or not, but I think she totally has one very good reason, and pretty obvious to me (above/along all the others that have been mentioned), for not wanting you to know where she is camming.

If what you say is true, it sounds like she's doing great, making a living and also helping her family. She has everything in place, found her camming syle, built up her client base and she's making good money. Now, why should she be willing to put at risk everything she got and all of her business by letting you know where she is camming and, by doing so, maybe giving you a reason to log into her chat? She knows you only since 4 months after all, It's really nothing. Not trustworty at all.

What if you kill the chat vibe and damage her earnings? Who is going to pay for that? You? This could be a potential business risk that she just doesn't want to take since everything is going great. And it's totally understandable. Personally, I'd do the same.
 
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Okay, my opinion as usual is probably an unpopular one. (Remember that I am allowed to have an opinion and so are you. We don't have to agree. We can still be respectful regardless.)

I can see where both of you are coming from. The question I have for you is this... Do you really need to know? What if you don't like what you see or find out about her? On the flip side, what if you do like what you see but you get carried away with it and start micromanaging her business? Like she says she's going to do a spin the wheel show tonight at 8pm and you say "no, you should go on at midnight and do a public cumshow countdown" -- that's micromanaging her work. If she wanted suggestions or feedback or to be told what to do, she would be working for an agency and not independently.

There's so many reasons that I can really understand why she doesn't feel comfortable telling you. Keep in mind that she is a sex worker and our society is not very open to that stuff. We are discriminated against by our best of friends, loved ones, families, neighbors and even our peers. I have met more than one model who refuses to even have a conversation with me as a new model or as a model who isn't "conventionallky attractive" or someone outside of her niche, idk. Camming is a very competitive thing for a lot of people. She's very successful and probably doesn't want to lose focus on what she has going for her with this career. She needs to keep her head in the game so to speak.

I don't think you are trying to come across as desperate for info as you seem. I'm not sure what you're expecting to find on this forum. Did you think you'd have a line of other models ready to out your girl? Smh. That's not realistic. I don't get along with every single model, but I would never disrespect any of them like that unless she was after my husband or something lol.




Here's the unpopular opinion...

Kind of off-topic but kind of not:
Now, there are things you said here that would be hurtful to me if they were said about me by the man I was beginning a relationship with. Those are some details I wouldn't be proud of or tell anyone. I don't know who she is, but she shouldn't be leading any of her members on at all in my opinion. That's asking to trouble if you ask me! You can't fuck with people's emotions like that. Sure, it probably pays off financially but that's incredibly selfish to me. If I had a member admitting he was in love with me or wanted to be with me, I would gently remind him that what we have is a business relationship and nothing more. Sure, I might lose that client for destroying his fantasy but I would sleep better knowing I didn't break this dude's heart for my own financial gain and cut that shit off before he got too invested in the idea of being with me. A casual friendship is totally fine, but crossing that line or allowing someone to think they are something more to you than they are is morally wrong in my opinion. I just had to get that out there... I really hope it's not like you mentioned here unless her brand is findom or the girlfriend experience, that's just wrong if the other guy doesn't know she's not at all interested in something more. That's my two cents on that bit of info.
 
Did you think you'd have a line of other models ready to out your girl? Smh. That's not realistic. I don't get along with every single model, but I would never disrespect any of them like that unless she was after my husband or something lol.

I have to address this. This is still not a valid reason to out a sex worker.

Nothing short of it somehow being imperative to protect my safety would be enough to make me out another sex worker.

Outing someone risks their physical safety and is never ok to do just because of personal issues with each other.
 
(Remember that I am allowed to have an opinion and so are you. We don't have to agree. We can still be respectful regardless.)

nope. i now have to destroy you because you have your own thoughts and opinions diffferent from group think. REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

:p
Kind of off-topic but kind of not:
Now, there are things you said here that would be hurtful to me if they were said about me by the man I was beginning a relationship with. Those are some details I wouldn't be proud of or tell anyone. I don't know who she is, but she shouldn't be leading any of her members on at all in my opinion. That's asking to trouble if you ask me! You can't fuck with people's emotions like that. Sure, it probably pays off financially but that's incredibly selfish to me. If I had a member admitting he was in love with me or wanted to be with me, I would gently remind him that what we have is a business relationship and nothing more. Sure, I might lose that client for destroying his fantasy but I would sleep better knowing I didn't break this dude's heart for my own financial gain and cut that shit off before he got too invested in the idea of being with me. A casual friendship is totally fine, but crossing that line or allowing someone to think they are something more to you than they are is morally wrong in my opinion. I just had to get that out there... I really hope it's not like you mentioned here unless her brand is findom or the girlfriend experience, that's just wrong if the other guy doesn't know she's not at all interested in something more. That's my two cents on that bit of info.

i actually agree with this.

Did you think you'd have a line of other models ready to out your girl? Smh. That's not realistic. I don't get along with every single model, but I would never disrespect any of them like that unless she was after my husband or something lol.

i disagree with this. all forms of doxing and outing is bad. wouldn't want it done to me, won't do it to my worse enemy.
 
I have to address this. This is still not a valid reason to out a sex worker.

Nothing short of it somehow being imperative to protect my safety would be enough to make me out another sex worker.

Outing someone risks their physical safety and is never ok to do just because of personal issues with each other.

I thought the "lol" would imply that I wasn't serious. I'll make it more clear. I wouldn't out anyone at all ever. That's not my place. It's not my business to share anything like personal info on a model.
 
I thought the "lol" would imply that I wasn't serious. I'll make it more clear. I wouldn't out anyone at all ever. That's not my place. It's not my business to share anything like personal info on a model.


No worries. I think it was just the "Unless she was after my husband or something lol" part that had folks scratching their heads, since outing a model is something we typically don't even joke about on here.

It's all good. Merry Christmas! :)
 
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No worries. I think it was just the "Unless she was after my husband or something lol" part that had folks scratching their heads, since outing a model is something we typically don't even joke about on here.

It's all good. Merry Christmas! :)

No, I have a terrible sense of humor lol. It's okay. My husband would be the problem, not the girl. I know better. I wouldn't out anybody, especially for petty reasons like that.
 
Safety is number 1 concern. I've been pretty open to my friends about this kinda stuff but holy hell I would never ever give my friends my username. Not the same situation, but I think it's weird to tell them. Camming is a job. An enjoyable, awesome job but a job. Also, if you are freaking out about wanting to know her username that bad, maybe a camgirl girlfriend is not for you.
 
OP, I don't think it was your intention to break your gf's trust. Your curiosity is normal and knowing that there was more to the story that you were not getting just increases your interest. Been there. But there are some things that it is just better that you don't know. Your gf showed incredible trust when she told you about her job. Maybe after reading all the above replies, you have begun to realize that. But I think it was a mistake. We all learn as we go. In this case, I don't see it so much as a matter of trust on either side. (I'm giving both of you the benefit of the doubt here) You want to know more because you care for her and want to know everything about her. You want to be close. She feels like "I already told you much more than I would normally tell anybody, why do you need more?" She feels close to you and she wants to be close to you. In a twisted sort of way, you've both been understandably selfish IMHO. You have failed to appreciate the enormous trust she placed in you. And out of her need to be closer to you, she told you part of a story that she knew she couldn't tell you all of.

You said you love this girl. If that's true, you're going to want to protect her. It's not just knowing that hundreds of other men are watching her in the most intimate moments. Every girl here can tell you about all the shit they put up with every day. It's an unfortunate part of the job. What's going to happen when some guy comes in her room and says "hey, don't be such a bitch. show us your pussy" First, you're going to feel helpless, impotent. Your gf doesn't want you to have to deal with that. Second, you're going to want to strike out at him verbally. None of these girls want that kind of drama in their room. It's not good for tips. Your gf deals with that kind of stress every day. By not having you able to visit her room, she's protecting you from having to deal with it too. Also, it might satisfy your ego to lay into an offensive patron, but you never know what it might cost her. I have two dear longtime friends at MFC. I absolutely adore both of them and we are friends irl as well. I frequently serve as room helper for both. As room helper, I can mute, kick or totally ban patrons from the room, but I almost never ban anyone unless my friend tells me to. One day a few months ago, a very abusive guy came into the room, offending just about everybody. If ever I wanted to ban somebody, this was it. But before long, he started dropping five figure tips.(10,000 tokens is $500 to the model) He came daily for a few weeks, easily tipping 10-30,000 a day. If I had pissed him off the first day, I could have cost her over $50,000. So you never know what your interaction with your gf's patrons might cost her. Trust me, it's best for both of you if you let your gf do her work alone.
 
personally I dont think there is much to be jealous of anyways. Its not like she will ever actually meet any of these men. Pretty much every camgirl knows that meeting clients is a huge no, for obvious safety reasons. The same reason we don't tell people we just met four months ago that were camgirls...

seriously dude, chill out.
I'm sure she will tell you eventually, but honestly if this is such a big deal to you now, i dont see you two working out. You already broke her trust by trying to find her, and as someone else mentioned, posting a bunch of her cam info here.

Someone else also mentioned that not everyone can date a cam girl, and honestly i agree.
If you cant separate sex & love, even just online sex, then i don't see how you can date a sex worker.
 
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