Sorry to hear about your bad experiences with camming. Honestly, I don't really have any good first-hand advice to give on it. I've never been a model. I believe there are some resources on the ACF forum that could help as well, if you haven't looked already or feel inclined to.
However, I hope things get better!
This isn't specifically camming related, but just my own nerdy ramblings on anxiety (coming from someone who has faced anxiety/depression in the past). Feel free to ignore if you so choose if it feels too unrelated.
Bear with me here, but we live often ignoring the universal law of
statistical regression. The official definition of statistical regression is basically that
all outliers return to the mean. In a practical sense, this means if one is a 6'10" basketball player, their child is more likely to be shorter than taller, since 6'11" is farther from average height compared to 6'9". It's not always the case, but it's much more likely.
Also, this has big implications, since life is like that. That means that it's important to remember that if you're going through a bad time now, try to remember that
things are more likely to get better before they get worse. Things don't get always better immediately, but sometimes it's truly just around the corner. It's important to keep up the hope for it. One reason why anxiety/depression hits people so hard is that we can't see the future, but we do know the past/present, so we start trying to predict our future off a small subset of the past.
In other words, we see a graph of our happiness level over time that looks like this given the past/present:
but we're missing the full picture, which could very well look like this:
The moral of the story then is to keep up hope, because our small moments of feeling like shit could easily go 'back to mean' and things could turn up.
As another sidenote, a little piece of practical advice that may help with anxiety/stress is a psychological technique called free writing. You can check it out here for instructions:
James W Pennebaker
www.utexas.edu
It's basically a stream of conscious writing that is entirely personal. I've done it before, and I thought it helped personally.
Again, I got quite a bit off topic, but I wanted to leave the information there just on the off chance it could help even a little! I wish for the best for you!