Becoming involved with someone you met through camming

[kitty_vbad]

Hey all! I just wanted to hear some different opinions on the subject of becoming involved with someone you've met through camming.

About 2 months ago I was in the middle of a shift on mfc and one of the members struck up a conversation with me and ended up catching my interest. I turned on his cam and he was super cute and had the hottest little Australian accent haha. He asked for a flash and I flirted for him to tip, but he said he was broke. Other people ended up tipping so he got to see anyway and wasn't shy about expressing his admiration for me. Something about him really had me intrigued, and I ended up ending my show early and exchanging snapchats with him. We then spoke on skype and had some fun of our own (all for free and just for leisure of course). We have been talking ever since then and for the past month we have gotten more serious and cute. I plan on flying to visit him in the summer for his birthday, he is paying for half the trip.

My friends have made jokes about being concerned about being catfished but at this point that is an impossibility lol. We will obviously be getting to know each other better in the months leading up to my visit, and in the mean time we will see how things work out. But for now, I'm pretty smitten and excited!!

Has anyone had a similar experience? Any thoughts/opinions? Advice?! I wanna hear it all!! xx

 

[MFCGod]

Not to sound too harsh, but anyone who says they're too broke to tip for a flash then offers to pay for half a flight is full of (excuse my language) shit

 

[kitty_vbad]

Not to sound too harsh, but anyone who says they're too broke to tip for a flash then offers to pay for half a flight is full of (excuse my language) shit

Oh yeah I hadn't explained that part in the post so I totally get how you could draw that conclusion! haha

 

[Lili_xo]

Seems to me like some dude needs to do very little to get a naked girl fly across planet to him and he did not even pay for whole ticket not that would be enough for most girls to meet a total stranger who is basically feeling entitled to anything at this point.Personally i don't think is a good idea from what you described but I could be wrong... but also whatMFCGod wrote is a red little flag lmao so don't be surprised if the guys is not even single or some other variation of crazy - as long as you are open to any adventure life is good but be open to ANY adventure.

 

[Influenced]

too broke to tip for a flash then offers to pay for half a flight is full of (excuse my language) shit

meh, I do not know the entire story but just based on that one comment I have to agree with MFCgod on this one...Seems like some red flag's have already been raised. In the end do not be to naive about the situation, and in the end it is your choice, you asked our opinions on it and we are simply giving you our experiences and opinions. I have been burned by other people wanting me to buy them things etc, and not really giving a flying shit about me in particular. Just use your best judgement, talk to friends if you have doubts come up and be as safe as you can possibly can be. Safety should always be your number one priority! Always. Good Luck.

 

[Violet Dawn]

Along with what @MFCGod said, I would highly advise against visiting him. If he hasn't tipped you, but is willing to supposedly pay for half a flight that just sounds extremely fishy and a potentially dangerous situation.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Flying to meet him? Where are you going to stay? Where do you plan on meeting him? Let me tell you a little story, maybe give you something to think about...

17 year old started sneaking on to the internet looking to meet a guy. Well, she met one all right. 40-ish, overweight, but at least when she said "Um, could you take me home," he did. (That's how she got caught)

She got an ear-bashing from everybody in the family. We all had a go at lecturing her.

Couple weeks later she did it again. Paid no mind to our warnings, just went and took another chance. Think they've been married like 13 years now.

So try to be careful.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

Life experience advice to add to this because well, I'm living it . I fell in love with a member and we live together now as happy as can be. Our year anniversary will be next month actually. So it CAN happen safely. We became very close (he was my top tipper) he sold all his stuff, bought a ticket here (after months of talking of course), I even met his family/friends on skype within the first months, I dug deep in his facebook for any red flags, we would spend ridiculous amounts of time talking on skype (like +8 hours a day lol) sexual stuff didn't actually come until later so I never felt taken advantage of. I know what it's like to be swept up in it all and we met in person after 9 long months of maintaining our relationship. I can honestly say this is the most amazing, fulfilling relationship I've ever been in.

The thing with long distance relationships is this: You need to analyze a lot because you don't know if the other person is living a completely different life. How do you know he's not married, has a girlfriend? Why can't he afford to tip? Why can't he pay for your whole ticket? Why can't he come to you? It doesn't seem like he's putting a lot of investment into the relationship thus far. How much do you know about his life there? Does he everything he has said about himself been true? Does HE understand how dangerous it is for you to fly there?

Are you new to camming? There are LOTS of hot guys on cams. In my 4 years of sex work I've seen hoards of them. And many of those guys can be nice, compliment me, and I get along with. But does that make him boyfriend material?

And who knows what their private life is like. If you do decide to go see him, please consider this: There are awesome guys I've met through camming and even got little crushes on who have ended up being crazy/stalkery/an asshole after MANY months later. I highly advocate for HIM coming to you, that way you can be safely on your turf and the people in your life can feel him out also. I don't want to sound discouraging-- it may after all go great! But after being there myself, I am so glad I took all the extra precautions and took the time before making plans to meet with him.

 

[AriaAnderson]

I think you are being fucked around with. Especially since he was manipulative enough to talk you into doing shit for free and then say he will pay 1/2 your ticket. If you were my sister or daughter, I would not let you go. He can come visit you if he cares that much.

Don't assume everyone is bad news, but never assume someone is good and honest either.

 

[AriaAnderson]

Also consider:

My IRL younger sister was one of those kids who hadn't had their first kiss, never gone on a date, never even had someone "like" her back up until the middle of high school. All of a sudden, this new kid shows up to her school. He's sorta cute but obviously a huge player. She's 15, he's 16, and I can tell this guy is a douche. My sister gets attention from him and falls head over heels because no one has ever done this for her. He's sweet enough to her so she falls for it. They start dating. They date for three years. He leaches off of her. Lives rent free with her for awhile after she's 18. She pays for everything (or at least half hmm) for their entire relationship.

He breaks up with her after he makes more money and can move out. He used her and pawned her around and cheated on her the whole time. Three freaking years!

This happened because he was a shit, but also because my sister didn't know that their were a million cute guys who would take her on dates. After they broke up and she realized she was gorgeous and worthy and smart etc she was like, I never even liked anything about him. I liked the attention. I didn't know what I was supposed to feel like so I just assumed it was about liking the attention.

This applies to you right now. Why is this guy important to you? What is so cool about him? Are you sure it's him you like and not just some hot dude who decided he likes to fuck around with cam girls who gives you attention? Anyone can be cute. Lots of people have accents. Lots of people fake accents. Lots of guys are nice. Lots of guys will give you attention. Why this guy?


And yes before anyone asks, this counts for dudes too. Don't fall for someone's weak ass game no matter their gender.

I'm not trying to be a bitch, I'm just trying to protect you and make sure you're /sure/ and can see all your options.


I think carmita's story is so cute! That's totally rad and I do believe you can meet awesome people through camming. But you can also meet huge raging douchers.

 

[AutumnDayKink]

I'm afraid your story raises a lot of red flags, not to mention visiting someone you don't know well could be dangerous!

As for me, I met a guy through camming who I had a Dom/sub relationship with for a few months. We were safe and careful and it was perfectly fine, but I eventually broke it off due to some differences in what we each wanted. So it CAN happen but I'd say 9 out of 10 times, meeting someone through camming is a BAD IDEA.

 

[WickedTouch]

@kitty_vbad It sounds as if this guy has you on the hook already and is slowly reeling you in. From my perspective, I see too many red flags on this dude to ignore, which make me think this is not gonna end well.

IMO, if the guy was too BROKE to even tip for a 'flash', has been getting loads of skype time with you for FREE and then is so cheap that he only pays for HALF the air fare... then that's just ticking all the wrong boxes from the start. To use aussie slang he sounds like a real bludger. I'm afraid I would look at that as being three strikes and he's out!

Look at it this way. Cute accent or no cute accent, he has convinced (charmed!) you enough to get you to fly several thousand miles to a foreign country, for his birthday, which for all intents and purposes means you will effectively be a fly-in escort. I'll bet he has probably already boasted about that to his mates. On the internet, it pays to be a bit paranoid and little more suspicious about the motives of everyone you meet. Many will be genuine... sure, but many will not. Don't become the victim of a charming douchebag. Don't be afraid to be suspicious, ask tons of questions and always get lots of proof up front before you consider whether or not to take that trip. No-one here wants to spoil your fun, rain on your parade and act all protective big brother stylee with you, but by the same token, no-one wants to see you get hurt either.

Just be careful.

 

[Lili_xo]

I don't know if is connected but when i had my new model status in december this guy who said he was from Australia wrote in my public chat that he would like to "fly me over".LMAO. Btw he just walked into my room and started this conversation -was a total stranger- and it felt just embarrassing for him to write that!!- I told him I don't meet anyone in person.He wanted pm and skype - I said i don't do skype or pm.
(The conversation started with him briefly chatting asking if american girls find aussie accents cute and sexy- and would he easily be able to get american woman cause of his accent he asked me.I told him finding anyone has nothing to do with accent and "easily" he get only gullible girls then I cut off the conversation by focusing on other people and ignored him.)
he left my room soon after
I remember he never tipped me - and he never returned to my room so I don't remember his name but have proof with my chat log history if I can go back that many weeks.i felt it was not necessarily about me but more like he was...fishing.
Not saying is same guy just saying it happens to some of us and this one was also from australia and about same time frame.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

I don't know if is connected but when i had my new model status in december this guy who said he was from Australia wrote in my public chat that he would like to "fly me over".LMAO. Btw he just walked into my room and started this conversation -was a total stranger- and it felt just embarrassing for him to write that!!- I told him I don't meet anyone in person.He wanted pm and skype - I said i don't do skype or pm.
(The conversation started with him briefly chatting asking if american girls find aussie accents cute and sexy- and would he easily be able to get american woman cause of his accent he asked me.I told him finding anyone has nothing to do with accent and "easily" he get only gullible girls then I cut off the conversation by focusing on other people and ignored him.)
he left my room soon after
I remember he never tipped me - and he never returned to my room so I don't remember his name but have proof with my chat log history if I can go back that many weeks.i felt it was not necessarily about me but more like he was...fishing.
Not saying is same guy just saying it happens to some of us and this one was also from australia and about same time frame.

Yep. That's exactly it. Lunella hit the nail on the head.

There are many guys that go around to pretty much every new model room fishing. They are very complimentary. Rarely tip (but don't worry! It's temporary! They just got a new job/apartment, have an inheritance coming or blah blah.) "But hey bibi...turn on my cam...I'm cute and you'll like me!" They are just fishing for that girl who will get caught up in someone being nice and complimentary to them and hop on Skype for free.

Here's a first clue...if someone doesn't respect your employment enough that they request free shit daily then they don't respect YOU. If you worked at Subway would he walk in and say "Hey I saw you when I was walking by outside and you looked cute. I don't have any money for a sandwich but can you make me one anyway because I'm so cute and nice. Don't worry in a month I'm going to take you to a five star restaurant but only pay for half. I'll be back tomorrow for another free sandwich."

Yeah...that doesn't really sit well does it? Now if he came in to your shop every day for a couple months and did occasionally buy sandwiches you'd be a lot more inclined to go to the five star restaurant with him down the road because he respects you and your employment.

I'm not saying the guy should tip you thousands of tokens...but if he doesn't care enough to come into your room...make conversation (not PM-ROOM banter) and tip towards countdowns to keep the room flowing he doesn't really care that much about you...especially with him knowing that all the time you are on Skype or snap with him you could be working.

I don't mean to sound harsh or anything....I just can't stand these types of guys that fish around to every room...especially new model ones doing this stuff...especially when most of them are married/in relationships and/or not at all who they say they are.

Seriously. Who doesn't have $2 for a flash? But can spend hours on Skype with someone? That's right. Someone who can't spend money on an adult site.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Here's a first clue...if someone doesn't respect your employment enough that they request free shit daily then they don't respect YOU.

Ding!
It's not about him being broke it's about him blatantly disrespecting you within minutes of first speaking to you by straight asking that you give him your work for free.
Just hanging around, chatting politely with every move being on your part would have been forgivable. but as a premium member he knows full well how this shit works and he attempted to take advantage of you in your very first interaction. That is a giant red flag.

If anything else, I would nix the travel plans and spend much more time just getting to know this person before you make these kinds of plans. You need to keep getting to know him without the blindness of a thrilling adventure covering your eyes.

 

[JickyJuly]

Everyone else pretty much covered the rudeness of this dude. So, I'll leave that alone. But as far as travel costs go, I would NEVER personally allow a man to pay for my airfare to meet him for the first time. If he thinks he's entitled to free boobs just for existing, imagine what he's going to think he deserves for half a plane ticket! Unless you can pay for your own plane, hotel, food, transportation and incidentals and have other reasons for seeing his country, it sounds like a long way to go for a pretty face. If you're into Australians, there are plenty you can find (even through camming) that will be much more polite than that as well. Or join some sort of dating service where you can look for more than a face you like. They'll all have the accent!

 

[AutumnDayKink]

Here's a first clue...if someone doesn't respect your employment enough that they request free shit daily then they don't respect YOU. If you worked at Subway would he walk in and say "Hey I saw you when I was walking by outside and you looked cute. I don't have any money for a sandwich but can you make me one anyway because I'm so cute and nice. Don't worry in a month I'm going to take you to a five star restaurant but only pay for half. I'll be back tomorrow for another free sandwich."

Bolded for so much emphasis. This is a good reminder for every single one of us cam girls! Don't let a pretty face or charming words make you forget that you are a businesswoman and a professional.

 

[MFCGod]

I would bet big on him having zero intention of paying for half this ticket

Some minor (made up) tragedy will happen or he will say something you've done has upset him so he doesn't want you to come any more

After you have to beg for his forgiveness and talk of him paying for half a ticket has passed, he will graciously forgive you.

 

[Lili_xo]

He should pay for her ticket.In fact he will respect her even less if he pays zero for ticket because that is just absolutely zero effort on his part and naked girl flying over.
I think he should fly to see the girl himself and make some effort-any effort (but he will not cause from day one is just possibly manipulation) but if she is flying across the globe to see him he should buy her a ticket- and a whole one not half - what a lame gesture is half-and that is the least he should do!!
Also I hope she has money for hotel - I do hope this is not a scenario where the only plan is his place? Hope is round trip ticket with flexible return date.


Him buying her a ticket does not entitle him to anything!! but whether he buys or not he will feel entitled anyway cause she already gave him a lot and too much she is a giver and he knows that and is his Birthday after all (possible he will use that one).

 

[mynameisbob84]

If I'd have known that being a super cute Australian with a hot accent would mean having women offering to travel half the way across the world to bed me without me even having to do any of that boring stuff like respecting them as real person with a real job, I'd have become one years ago...

 

[Princess FeeFee]

OMG I am so worried about you hun.. gosh I probably sound patronizing and annoying, but you are so very new to camming, and this dude has acted like a total jerk to you, and now you are actually flying over to meet him... like all the other posters have already said, there are a bunch of red flags, and if you decide to go through with the plan I'm afraid you'll end up disappointed, or worse If he really cared about you, he would never a) disrespect you by not even tipping, b) insist on meeting only after 2 months even though he lives on a different continent, c) ask YOU to go over to see HIM.. it should be him coming to see you. And 2 months is not nearly long enough. In the end, of course, you will do what you want to do but please, stay safe! Make sure your family always knows where you are and you have a back-up plan. Please do let us know what's going on and what you've decided.

 

[Picnic]

I looked at the title of this thread and thought, "well, I know a few cam girls who (safely) got involved with members..." But upon reading your story, there's just red flags everywhere.

When you are so new to camming, it's best to keep all your online friendships...well, online (in fact, I think it's best to just keep them to MFC, as so many want to hog you all to themselves on Skype...but that's a personal opinion, I digress).

There will be lots of dudes like this Australian guy with lots of different offers - they want to skype for an Amazon gift card, "make you internet famous bb", or whisk you away to a mysterious land far away from your friends and family... see where I'm going with this? Your friends are right to be concerned.

This guy sounds selfish, and he sounds like he is trouble. He does not respect your time if he is not tipping for your services. Obviously, this is all up to you - but I would not recommend giving him free stuff. He is a non tipper and should be treated as such.

It sounds like you are infatuated, which can easily be mistaken for love. Plus, when someone is that far away from you, it can lead to "the grass is greener on the other side" type of feelings. He may seem really fucking awesome because he's only showing you the awesome stuff. You could get all the way out there and he could be a totally different person than the one you got to know over Skype.

Pretty much what everyone else has been saying, really. PLEASE be safe

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Further thoughts...

He asked for a flash and I flirted for him to tip, but he said he was broke.

As others have said, this was an insult. Everybody has nights where they can't spend. You don't ask for flashes on those nights.

I plan on flying to visit him in the summer for his birthday, he is paying for half the trip.

Considering this is sounding like a matter of the heart, and not money, I think you ought to pay your own way. Just my opinion. Lets him know you are a big girl and you are there because you like him. If he pays anything at all, it smacks of a discount escort.

But I wholeheartedly agree with the earlier comment about him coming to meet you. That would be the right way to go. Again, just my opinion.

We will obviously be getting to know each other better in the months leading up to my visit, and in the mean time we will see how things work out. But for now, I'm pretty smitten and excited!!

Smitten and excited, everything seems perfect. It's good you plan on getting to know him better between now and then. Keep your ears open.

Oh, and get him to give you a skype tour of his house (if you haven't already). That's an awful long way to travel just to find out you made a hook up with a hoarder.

 

[KylieJacobs]

If you feel the NEED to meet this guy after hearing everyone's advice above... I would definitely make him fly to meet you!!! Find a public place where you can meet safely.

If he flies to meet you, and you get a bad feeling when you meet him, you can leave! It's much safer than potentially being broke and stranded in a country where you don't have friends and family! If he isn't willing to do that (red flag) or can't afford to, then run now!!!

If he can't afford it, then what kind of long distance relationship would you really have..... a skype one?




edit- I'm really concerned about his intentions after reading your profile. I don't want you to get physically hurt, raped, or worse...

Turn ons: "biting choking slapping hickies hair pulling hot wax play roleplay being dominated hand guiding heavy petting grinding dancing extensive foreplay"

Please don't fly to see him...

 

[kitty_vbad]

Okay, so I have read through all of these replies and am going to reply individually to a few, but let me just address a few of the things that were brought up most frequently!!
When I was telling the story initially, I tried to make it as short and concise as possible, so I left out a LOT of details, which led to you all drawing the same conclusions. My bad!! Allow me to clarify those things

-The night we started talking, he joined my chatroom mid way through my show. He complimented me and engaged me in regular conversation. We were chatting and he said something along the lines of "I bet your bum is perfect", so I told him all he had to do to see it was tip. He then told me that money was tight due to the fact that he was going on a 3 week vacation to Asia soon. (So not only did he not outright ASK for a flash, I'm the one who brought it to his attention). A few days after we spoke for the first time, he offered to tip me for the show that night and I declined because at that point I was already acting on my own accord and doing things because I wanted to. He's actually a construction worker who specializes in engineering, and construction is one of the highest paying fields there (I looked it up after he told me). He's 26 and I have indeed seen his house, its really nice, so after learning all I have about him I'm not too worried about money haha.

-As for him helping to pay for my flight, when the subject of me going to visit him came up, I planned to pay for it all myself. I wanted to because it adds to the excitement and I want to be independent enough to do so. As time went on and we talked about it more, he actually offered to pay the WHOLE cost of my ticket, but I told him no because I wanted it to be my first real "big girl trip". So after we discussed it more, we decided that each paying half would be fair.

-We also discussed him coming here to visit but I'd honestly MUCH rather go there, flying/staying in Australia is an experience in and of itself. That is what ultimately made my decision. *I also have a friend who lives out there* Which is the only reason why I considered going. That, and my friends and family know of my plans.

I also just wanted to remind everyone that I am not naive in the slightest! I know how dangerous these situations can be, so please believe me I am taking EVERY precaution. Like I said, this is still in the very early stages of both planning and development. Neither of us are going to make any crazy decisions and we both have a healthy dose of nerves/fear/doubts that we have acknowledged. Nothing is set in stone and I am going to be paying a lot of attention in the 5 months leading up to July.

That being said, another reason why I didn't go into super fine detail, is because I didn't intend for this post to solely be people offering their advice for my situation specifically! I meant for it to be a general discussion about the topic of becoming involved with members. But I deeply appreciate everyone's input and will consider every opinion shared thoroughly!! God I love this website Thank you all

 

[kitty_vbad]

If you feel the NEED to meet this guy after hearing everyone's advice above... I would definitely make him fly to meet you!!! Find a public place where you can meet safely.

If he flies to meet you, and you get a bad feeling when you meet him, you can leave! It's much safer than potentially being broke and stranded in a country where you don't have friends and family! If he isn't willing to do that (red flag) or can't afford to, then run now!!!

If he can't afford it, then what kind of long distance relationship would you really have..... a skype one?




edit- I'm really concerned about his intentions after reading your profile. I don't want you to get physically hurt, raped, or worse...

Turn ons: "biting choking slapping hickies hair pulling hot wax play roleplay being dominated hand guiding heavy petting grinding dancing extensive foreplay"

Please don't fly to see him...

Oh my goodness I can see how that is a cause for concern for you!! We actually have not spoken about any of those "kinks" of mine. What little sexual contact we've had has been pretty vanilla. Thank you so much for your input and for caring about my well being

 

[Honey_Suckle]

This situation has happened to me before .. now im thinking to myself most of my troubles have been due to pm's .. probs about time I turned them off.

 

[kitty_vbad]

Everyone else pretty much covered the rudeness of this dude. So, I'll leave that alone. But as far as travel costs go, I would NEVER personally allow a man to pay for my airfare to meet him for the first time. If he thinks he's entitled to free boobs just for existing, imagine what he's going to think he deserves for half a plane ticket! Unless you can pay for your own plane, hotel, food, transportation and incidentals and have other reasons for seeing his country, it sounds like a long way to go for a pretty face. If you're into Australians, there are plenty you can find (even through camming) that will be much more polite than that as well. Or join some sort of dating service where you can look for more than a face you like. They'll all have the accent!

Oh man, this response solidifies my fear that I came off the wrong way in my haste to sum everything up I am interested in much more than his face/accent hahaha. I do have other reasons for wanting to visit, rest assured Thank you!!

 

[justjoinedtopost]

That being said, another reason why I didn't go into super fine detail, is because I didn't intend for this post to solely be people offering their advice for my situation specifically!

Oh no no no. Don't try to back out now.

Anyway, doesn't sound nearly as bad now that you have filled in some of the deets. Still questionable as all get out, but hey. It's your life.

Hope it turns out good.

 

[kitty_vbad]

Oh no no no. Don't try to back out now.

Anyway, doesn't sound nearly as bad now that you have filled in some of the deets. Still questionable as all get out, but hey. It's your life.

Hope it turns out good.

Yeah, I definitely should have disclosed all of that to begin with lol. Thank you so much!