Ask a Sexpert: The Cammodel Edition

[Tristyn]

For the last 6+ months, I have taken a step back from camming (still working part time, but not as often) to focus on freelance writing, marketing adult products, and sex education, especially in the realms of safer sex/kink, BDSM, consent, negotiation, mental health, polyamory, bisexuality, and sex toys.

Between my experience working in professional dungeons, participating in a variety of online fetishism professionally, educating at sex-cons, a decade in the public kink & polyamory communities (in several different cities, 3 different countries) and living it everyday in my personal life (queer, poly, kinky girl here), I finally felt like my voice was strong enough to begin sharing my knowledge in a more public way.

I still hesitate to call myself an 'expert' in any one specific thing, as the kink and sex education umbrellas are both very large, but there are many areas in both that I'm very knowledgeable.

Maybe you're looking for safe sex toys that are good for camming, maybe you're looking for inexpensive items to add to your shows, maybe you're looking for good ideas for props and fetish gear; I (and other people on the forum, I'm sure!) can definitely help.

Maybe you want to ask general questions about fetishes, consent, negotiation, kink, or safer sex.

Maybe you need someone to bounce ideas off of about maintaining healthy kink or non-monogamous relationships.

Maybe you're just curious about something but haven't known who or where to ask.

Well, here's the place!

To other models and members who may also have experience in these areas, feel free to chime in. I don't claim to know the 'one true way', just the way that works for me. As long as whatever is happening between consenting adults, there is always wiggling room for differing opinions. Exceptions being safer sex FACTS and the like.

If you don't have a specific question in mind, maybe answer my pole and let me know what topics you'd be interested in discussing first!

 

[Tristyn]

Let's start by talking a little bit about body-safe sex toy materials. When I say "body-safe" in this context, I mean sex toy materials that are non-porous. Porous sex toys can harbour bacteria, fungi, even viruses, and are impossible to completely disinfect no matter how you care for or wash them. Some porous materials, like jelly, can even eat through condoms and cause internal or external chemical burns. They degrade, over time, leaking whatever gross chemicals they were made with into (and onto) your body. And if you're someone who enjoys sharing your sex toys with a partner -- or during multi-person camshows -- even more safety concerns come into play.

So, what materials should you invest in then?!

Pure Silicone. Medical grade silicone in the highest quality grade available in the sex toy market, so it is what most of the higher-end sex toy brands use (think Tantus, Lelo, Fun Factory, etc), but the majority of silicone sex toys on the market overall are actually made out of food grade silicone. The main difference between the two is that one supplier has paid the extra cost to have the material approved by the FDA (or similar agencies) for medical use and one hasn't. In terms of safety, both food grade and medical grade silicone are non-porous (micro-porous, technically, but the important thing here is that they're not porous enough to allow the growth of bacteria) and body safe. Silicone blends and silagel are NOT, however. Some are marketed as 'body safe' because they're made out of non-toxic materials, but no internal toy is truly body safe unless it can be disinfected properly between uses, and silicone 'blends' can't be.

Stainless Steel. Once again, medical grade stainless steel is the highest quality steel that you can find in the sex toy market, and higher quality brands (such as nJoy) have carved out a name for themselves in the industry by adopting it. Outside of medical grade steel, you can also find many toys made out of food grade material, or plated steel, with plated steel being the cheapest -- both monetarily and physically. Generally, as long as there are no weird indents, bad wielding or weird 'scuffs' on the metal toys, they're going to be body safe. With plated steel, I would keep an eye on any warping, chipping or denting especially. If you can afford to purchase something nicer, I would, but a $10 (or less) plated steel plug is usually okay to use in a pinch. Steel is another material that is non-porous, and therefore fully sterilizable.

ABS Plastic. There is no shortage of inexpensive, ABS plastic toys on the market, and you'll also sometimes see it being used on higher end toys as well (such as the Zumio, We-Vibe Tango, etc). The good news is that almost any cheap plastic vibrator (as long as it doesn't have some kind of weird coating) is technically going to be non-porous and body safe. Simple plastic vibrators were my go-tos for years, long before I knew anything about sex toys. They are generally inexpensive, come in a huge variety of types, sizes, colours, and are great for beginners.

Pyrex Glass. The most important thing when it comes to buying and using glass toys is to make sure that they're cared for and checked over properly. The highest quality glass toy vendors use a process called annealing to remove as much of the stress from their glass pieces as possible, while cheaper or larger wholesale vendors do not. Whether or not a glass dildo has been annealed, though, it is very unlikely to break while inside of you. Non-annealed glass toys are just more likely to break after a hard drop than their annealed counterparts. As long as your toy isn't cracked, chipped, or scuffed, it should be absolutely fine, even if it is a cheaper piece. Like everything else on the 'green' list, these toys are also non-porous and body safe.

And those are the big four.

Other materials that can be body-safe & non-porous, but only if properly finished:

Treated Wood, but ONLY if it's treated with a medical grade finish.

Medical grade TPE/TPR, but it's VERY rare to find it in the sex toy industry. The vast, vast majority of toys that are labeled as 'TPE' or 'TPE' are definitely porous, and therefore not body-safe at all. However, there are some exceptions, like with Sybian's C-Flex line of attachments, that are made out of a medical grade, non-porous TPE.

Ceramic, but only if it's been glazed and vitrified properly.

Natural Stone, but only if it's been thoroughly cleaned and polished.

I hope this post helps! Feel free to ask questions if you have any!

 

[eyeteach]

This is one of the best thread ideas I've seen on this forum! Would you prefer open questions\discusions or would it be appropriate to ask questions in PM's?

 

[Tristyn]

Glad you like it!

Open discussion would be preferable, but you can send a question anonymously for me to reply to on the thread.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

This is a very good idea, and I'm sure many would benefit from this. Thanks for doing it.

Stainless Steel. Once again, medical grade stainless steel is the highest quality steel that you can find in the sex toy market, and higher quality brands (such as nJoy) have carved out a name for themselves in the industry by adopting it. Outside of medical grade steel, you can also find many toys made out of food grade material, or plated steel, with plated steel being the cheapest -- both monetarily and physically. Generally, as long as there are no weird indents, bad wielding or weird 'scuffs' on the metal toys, they're going to be body safe. With plated steel, I would keep an eye on any warping, chipping or denting especially. If you can afford to purchase something nicer, I would, but a $10 (or less) plated steel plug is usually okay to use in a pinch. Steel is another material that is non-porous, and therefore fully sterilizable.

From a sex-toy perspective, I can't speak. However, I wanted to point out a few things in regards to this section:

Medical and food grade solid stainless steel are very good materials. But, one needs to be cautious of the types and grades of stainless steel they are getting as not all stainless steel is the same. Ideally, you want 18/8 for food or 316 for medical grade. There's many other levels of SS which are corrosion resistant but can't be used in food or medical equipment. But, if in doubt, research and ask about a product you're interested in

Here's just one site that talks about different properties of SS and a coupe of types:
http://www.reliance-foundry.com/blog/304-vs-316-stainless-steel#gref

Also, be very careful on what you buy when it comes to stainless steel products. Many are made of a cheap base metal, with stainless steel plating. This is very bad, since the slightest flaw in the plating can cause it to allow the base metal (what it's coating) to begin to corrode. Metal plating is very thin, and will cut far worse than a paper cut. Or, worse, may break of and get embedded in skin which can lead to a whole different level of issues.

Ideally, save up and buy solid stainless steel items so as to avoid potential medical issues, and havin to repurchase products. It's more expensive up front. But, less expensive in the long run.

Also, just wanted to clarify that steel can be pourous depending upon it's rating and classification.

 

[Tristyn]

This is a very good idea, and I'm sure many would benefit from this. Thanks for doing it.




From a sex-toy perspective, I can't speak. However, I wanted to point out a few things in regards to this section:

Medical and food grade solid stainless steel are very good materials. But, one needs to be cautious of the types and grades of stainless steel they are getting as not all stainless steel is the same. Ideally, you want 18/8 for food or 316 for medical grade. There's many other levels of SS which are corrosion resistant but can't be used in food or medical equipment. But, if in doubt, research and ask about a product you're interested in

Here's just one site that talks about different properties of SS and a coupe of types:
http://www.reliance-foundry.com/blog/304-vs-316-stainless-steel#gref

Also, be very careful on what you buy when it comes to stainless steel products. Many are made of a cheap base metal, with stainless steel plating. This is very bad, since the slightest flaw in the plating can cause it to allow the base metal (what it's coating) to begin to corrode. Metal plating is very thin, and will cut far worse than a paper cut. Or, worse, may break of and get embedded in skin which can lead to a whole different level of issues.

Ideally, save up and buy solid stainless steel items so as to avoid potential medical issues, and havin to repurchase products. It's more expensive up front. But, less expensive in the long run.

Also, just wanted to clarify that steel can be pourous depending upon it's rating and classification.

Like I said above, when buying plated steel products you need to be aware of scuffs, dents, warping and chipping. That said, I've owned several plated stainless steel products for 6+ years without any issues, it's just important to be aware of what you're buying and how to best care for it.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Like I said above, when buying plated steel products you need to be aware of scuffs, dents, warping and chipping. That said, I've owned several plated stainless steel products for 6+ years without any issues, it's just important to be aware of what you're buying and how to best care for it.

You did. I was expanding on it some more because I've seen various items listed as "stainless steel" however nowhere on the packaging or in the description was it stated as being plated stainless steel.

 

[Tristyn]

You did. I was expanding on it some more because I've seen various items listed as "stainless steel" however nowhere on the packaging or in the description was it stated as being plated stainless steel.

Ah yes, that's a tough one. For the most part, any lower cost stainless steel items are going to be plated.

Higher-end brands are the majority that use the medical grade stainless steel that's been FDA approved for medical use, everyone else uses plated or food-grade steel.

I'd buy nJoy products if you want to know for sure that it's high quality. ^_^

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Love this thread!

I think you did a great job with the body safety and toys.

* Good sex toys for camming

Realistic dildos

Strap on

Glass and stainless steel toys

body wand

g-spot toy

Anal beads

I hear fuck machines are great, but if you're on a private based site they might not be worth it except in something like a gold show (please someone correct me if I'm wrong). I've heard many members simply don't think about it, so they don't get used as often.

* Kink gear and props on a budget

* Common femdom requests

I have a younger appearance than my age. People often say I look somewhere between 5-10 years younger. At the same time, since I use my actual age (though different DOB), I tend to get a lot (and I mean a LOT) of requests for MILF type roleplays.

When I get younger requests, it tends to be in the realm of "bratty princess" taking advantage of someone.

Honesty I wish I had said I was older than my actual age when I first started camming. When I turned 30 SM put me into the "mature" category, and I've seen a much nicer crowd ever since.

All natural sells WELL. I personally don't care one way or the other in regards to hairiness. The only issue I ever had was when I grew out my full bush, I had issues with penetration. Due to that I shaves the lips, and kept it as a mini-bush. Still sells very well, though folks definitely have gone way out of their way to constantly remind me how much they miss it as a caricature of a 70's porno bush.

Body worship (especially related to smothering with tits and ass). The more physically fit I've gotten the better money I've made. I hear BBW women do well on Streamate. I imagine that BBW's would have to be on the larger side. The highest I've ever weighed on SM was around 160 pounds at 5'5, so no where near BBW range.

Being arrogant helps. I'm a "nicer" domme, but I have a rather sarcastic tone, and resting bitch face for daaaays. All this sells well for me, though I do get the occasional person who gets offended that I'm not smiling or sound rude. It's not just cam. I seem to not be able to fix either. Nothing personal to anyone when I do it. I kept doing it, and it stuck that way.

Instructions of any form (especially jerk off instruction). JOI is about 85% of my income, and I am rarely even asked to show nudity for it. Cum countdowns are popular too. More sadistic shows can involve themes of humiliation such as SPH and pain like CBT.

Though not specifically femdom, I get balloon request a lot. I believe popping them is a big seller, but since I work mornings and I live in the South I'd rather not have folks thinking they're waking up to gunshots.

Bisexual encouragement is ri"dick" popular. Most of the instruction type based shows I do involve it in some way shape or form. Often times I see feminization combined with this. Lotta chats involving the theme of gangbangs, glory holes, gay 4 pay, and straight up gay jerk off instruction.

Blackmail is a popular thing, but I don't promote it, because without a legal contract it's illegal. I do blackmail fantasy which is strictly roleplay, but no exposure or anything of that sort. Boss/employee is a common theme I've seen.

Fetish clothing pretty much anything goes. I've noticed that being more clothed, wearing bra and panties, stockings and gloves are my biggest sellers. PVC, wet look, leather, latex are also big ones for me. Shiny sells well, especially if it has shiny latex-like looking gloves/boots with it.

Breeding/Impregnation- This one is popular, especially when referring to getting pregnant with an alpha type. Cuckolding often gets thrown into here. It can absolutely be a non-femdom show as well. I do mutual shows too, where I'm not "dom", but I don't do anything submissive. I have to personally be in an equal or higher position. Submissive goes way against my grain.

Cum eating instruction is one I get a lot with JOI. This is usually done with edging for bigger loads. This is not to be confused with bisexual encouragement. I get tons of guys telling me how they aren't gay at the beginning of the show, so I thought I'd throw that in there, since some camgirls have probably confused the two.

Chastity is one I admit I didn't understand how to do online when I first started. Basically the best way I've found to go about it is to learn how long they can go between orgasms, edge them then schedule dates in which they will allowed to cum. You may change your mind as well for your own amusement, and they often seem to find this more of a turn on.

Femdom sex is just that. It's a good seller, though as I said most of my selling shows are non-nude. I guess it's maybe around 25ish% of my paid chats.

Financial domination is a huge one. I don't offer it on SM, because I once got a message from them saying not to have it on my profile. I see a lot of camgirls there with it though, so I don't know. Maybe support was having an off day. I don't offer it except in Skype and clips for that reason though.

Giantess is one I love. It can involve anything. I get a lot of GFE related giantess as well as the classic sadistic giantess, since I lean more towards sensual domination.

Foot worship guys are possibly the nicest members. I'm not counting the sho feet BB guys obviously.

Strap-ons are HUGELY popular. Also you wind up doing more squats than you ever thought you'd do in your entire life thanks to those shows.

Hypnotism- We have to call it mesmerize in camsites, and even clips and skype due to stupid rules, but it sells well. Only problem is that guys often ask for hypno, and just like saying bong in a smoke shop instead of water pipe..I gotta ask em to leave or at least do something other than those kinds of shows. Otherwise I risk getting into trouble.

Watching cams and taking phone helps a bunch too.

* Favourite sex toys in general

I love rabbit vibes, but they never seem to last long.

Balancing cam modelling with romantic relationships

Camming and relationships can be difficult. I believe best bet is being in a relationship with someone in the industry, but I'm sure even that's open to interpretation.

* Camming and 'that time of the month'

I've heard diva cups are great, but I have always done the ol' cut the string on the tampon trick. Never had problems with it. I recomend a period tracker app, so you know when it's about to start. Also keep something to quickly clean up in case it starts when you don't expect it, and you need to clean off blood. Necessary since blood isn't allowed in TOS in most if not all sites.

* Cumshow alternatives

Basically most of the femdom shows I mentioned above.

Polyamory (If you have a specific area you're curious about, please specify)

I don't really fully practice it, though I'm into relationships that allow for a somewhat open "occasional" friends with benefits situation. Though I've done it with my ex, I'm not really into the idea of doing 2 guys. Too much jealousy involved. I'm not "bi-romantic", but I'm attracted to women sexually, so I'm cool with that as long as the other person is as well.

 

[Miss_Pixie]

Love this thread!

I think you did a great job with the body safety and toys.

* Good sex toys for camming

Realistic dildos

Strap on

Glass and stainless steel toys

body wand

g-spot toy

Anal beads

I hear fuck machines are great, but if you're on a private based site they might not be worth it except in something like a gold show (please someone correct me if I'm wrong). I've heard many members simply don't think about it, so they don't get used as often.

* Kink gear and props on a budget

* Common femdom requests

I have a younger appearance than my age. People often say I look somewhere between 5-10 years younger. At the same time, since I use my actual age (though different DOB), I tend to get a lot (and I mean a LOT) of requests for MILF type roleplays.

When I get younger requests, it tends to be in the realm of "bratty princess" taking advantage of someone.

Honesty I wish I had said I was older than my actual age when I first started camming. When I turned 30 SM put me into the "mature" category, and I've seen a much nicer crowd ever since.

All natural sells WELL. I personally don't care one way or the other in regards to hairiness. The only issue I ever had was when I grew out my full bush, I had issues with penetration. Due to that I shaves the lips, and kept it as a mini-bush. Still sells very well, though folks definitely have gone way out of their way to constantly remind me how much they miss it as a caricature of a 70's porno bush.

Body worship (especially related to smothering with tits and ass). The more physically fit I've gotten the better money I've made. I hear BBW women do well on Streamate. I imagine that BBW's would have to be on the larger side. The highest I've ever weighed on SM was around 160 pounds at 5'5, so no where near BBW range.

Being arrogant helps. I'm a "nicer" domme, but I have a rather sarcastic tone, and resting bitch face for daaaays. All this sells well for me, though I do get the occasional person who gets offended that I'm not smiling or sound rude. It's not just cam. I seem to not be able to fix either. Nothing personal to anyone when I do it. I kept doing it, and it stuck that way.

Instructions of any form (especially jerk off instruction). JOI is about 85% of my income, and I am rarely even asked to show nudity for it. Cum countdowns are popular too. More sadistic shows can involve themes of humiliation such as SPH and pain like CBT.

Though not specifically femdom, I get balloon request a lot. I believe popping them is a big seller, but since I work mornings and I live in the South I'd rather not have folks thinking they're waking up to gunshots.

Bisexual encouragement is ri"dick" popular. Most of the instruction type based shows I do involve it in some way shape or form. Often times I see feminization combined with this. Lotta chats involving the theme of gangbangs, glory holes, gay 4 pay, and straight up gay jerk off instruction.

Blackmail is a popular thing, but I don't promote it, because without a legal contract it's illegal. I do blackmail fantasy which is strictly roleplay, but no exposure or anything of that sort. Boss/employee is a common theme I've seen.

Fetish clothing pretty much anything goes. I've noticed that being more clothed, wearing bra and panties, stockings and gloves are my biggest sellers. PVC, wet look, leather, latex are also big ones for me. Shiny sells well, especially if it has shiny latex-like looking gloves/boots with it.

Breeding/Impregnation- This one is popular, especially when referring to getting pregnant with an alpha type. Cuckolding often gets thrown into here. It can absolutely be a non-femdom show as well. I do mutual shows too, where I'm not "dom", but I don't do anything submissive. I have to personally be in an equal or higher position. Submissive goes way against my grain.

Cum eating instruction is one I get a lot with JOI. This is usually done with edging for bigger loads. This is not to be confused with bisexual encouragement. I get tons of guys telling me how they aren't gay at the beginning of the show, so I thought I'd throw that in there, since some camgirls have probably confused the two.

Chastity is one I admit I didn't understand how to do online when I first started. Basically the best way I've found to go about it is to learn how long they can go between orgasms, edge them then schedule dates in which they will allowed to cum. You may change your mind as well for your own amusement, and they often seem to find this more of a turn on.

Femdom sex is just that. It's a good seller, though as I said most of my selling shows are non-nude. I guess it's maybe around 25ish% of my paid chats.

Financial domination is a huge one. I don't offer it on SM, because I once got a message from them saying not to have it on my profile. I see a lot of camgirls there with it though, so I don't know. Maybe support was having an off day. I don't offer it except in Skype and clips for that reason though.

Giantess is one I love. It can involve anything. I get a lot of GFE related giantess as well as the classic sadistic giantess, since I lean more towards sensual domination.

Foot worship guys are possibly the nicest members. I'm not counting the sho feet BB guys obviously.

Strap-ons are HUGELY popular. Also you wind up doing more squats than you ever thought you'd do in your entire life thanks to those shows.

Hypnotism- We have to call it mesmerize in camsites, and even clips and skype due to stupid rules, but it sells well. Only problem is that guys often ask for hypno, and just like saying bong in a smoke shop instead of water pipe..I gotta ask em to leave or at least do something other than those kinds of shows. Otherwise I risk getting into trouble.

Watching cams and taking phone helps a bunch too.

* Favourite sex toys in general

I love rabbit vibes, but they never seem to last long.

Balancing cam modelling with romantic relationships

Camming and relationships can be difficult. I believe best bet is being in a relationship with someone in the industry, but I'm sure even that's open to interpretation.

* Camming and 'that time of the month'

I've heard diva cups are great, but I have always done the ol' cut the string on the tampon trick. Never had problems with it. I recomend a period tracker app, so you know when it's about to start. Also keep something to quickly clean up in case it starts when you don't expect it, and you need to clean off blood. Necessary since blood isn't allowed in TOS in most if not all sites.

* Cumshow alternatives

Basically most of the femdom shows I mentioned above.

Polyamory (If you have a specific area you're curious about, please specify)

I don't really fully practice it, though I'm into relationships that allow for a somewhat open "occasional" friends with benefits situation. Though I've done it with my ex, I'm not really into the idea of doing 2 guys. Too much jealousy involved. I'm not "bi-romantic", but I'm attracted to women sexually, so I'm cool with that as long as the other person is as well.

You're the best!!!!!