Am I The Overreacting?

[Jay_Storm]

Okay. I hope I am overreacting and I probably should have waited to post but whatever.

I have been following a model for just over six months and my most active time was early on but I try and visit occasionally. Our schedules do not align now that I am back in the office. But we chat offline most days just to check in.

Anyway, a few months ago she got her first and only mod. And this guy always seems to be ushering me out of the room. Subtle but I feel it. She has told me he is jealous of me but I figure she says the same to him about me. I visit occasionally to see her and say hello but avoid her room because of him.

Last week I visited for the first time in a month. I mentioned that I could not stay long because I had to go to work. Immediately he says "okay, see you later." So I was annoyed and left.

Today I decided to visit again because I had the day off and could hang out. She was happy. We chatted and were having a nice time. We decided to play with her Domi. I had tipped about 1,500 tokens and as we were winding down, the mod asks her "Are you ready to cum?" And he slams her with a few very large pattern tips and then says to me "thanks for coming."

My response was "Oh, am I leaving?" I still had over 2,000 tokens and about an hour before I had to leave.

But I left.

I don't know if he treats every tipper this way or just me. Am I overreacting? Should I have said something to her? Or just leave it alone?

 

[AmberCutie]

Should I have said something to her?

If this happened exactly as you described it, then yes I think you should tell her that you feel pushed out by the mod. It's possible she doesn't realize it, and you seem like a good member to her.

 

[Life_Happens]

This happened to me in a room where the model and I got along well. The last time the mod was rude to me I left.

She sent me a message on WA asking why I left and I politely told her the truth.

About 5 minutes later she messaged again asking me to come back. Lo and behold, the mod never said another word to me again.

And FWIW, he disappeared about a month later.

 

[Mel1]

You should talk to her, I think she should be kinder to you

 

[Just_A_Guy]

I am not a model, you have posted in the ask a model question, If I am allowed to share my thoughts as a member, I would say that a model is responsible for who makes a mod in her chat. If the mod acts shitty towards you, that is on the model who made him a mod. Not your problem, take your money elsewhere. If he is still a mod that means she is cool with it. Since you are in contact with her off site I assume you can let her know your opinion. That said. Not your problem. Take your money elsewhere. Also, her mod can be her studio manager, I suppose. Let him tipping her with his money, not yours.

Edit: I have no Idea which site you are talking about, personally each time I see a model in cb with a mod who is not tipping I leave that chat. Even more if he is not tipping and has the nerve to ask others tip. Edit/2 This comes from a member who once tipped 10.000 tks off-line as a present and had a model ask me when I visited her again in the chat whether I could "mod" for her. My first thought was tf is a mod, Imagine If I have time for that.

 

[Catwave]

Definitely let the model know, you might feel like overreacting at first, but it could escalate badly if he feels good acting like that to you, and the model is ok with it. I don't understand why a mod would be passive/aggresive with other tippers, it affects the model at the end.

When I started caming I had this member who was my first regular visitor and tipper, soon after I started to get more regular visitors and tippers and this guy would tell me he feels weird about these "simps" and doesn't like to be there with them, I thought "Oh this guy is just jealous whatever". After a while I found out this member PM the other tippers trying to make them leave my room. The guy got a ban from my room after I found out about the PMs. But if the other members didn't say what was happening for real (not just "hey this member treats me this way in the chat") I wouldn't realise how bad the situation was! Since I knew about the guy's jealousy I'd just tell him "Ok, just be respectful with the others" and think that would solve it, but it escalated to abusive PMs and I'd never know about it if the members just leave after that.

I don't know the reason why the model have him as a mod, but we do want to keep all tippers we get in our rooms, and dealing with jealousy is hard sometimes. Some models have hard boundaries and just kick or ban at first sign in public chat, other ask for tolerance but there's always a limit and it's important we are informed about these behaviours.

 

[Smoothie]

Not a model, so I’ll avoid chiming in on OP’s question. But regarding this:

personally each time I see a model in cb with a mod who is not tipping I leave that chat.

I don’t disagree with you that mods who don’t tip can seem annoying, but keep in mind they might be trying to avoid hogging the model or dominating the action, too.

I am the most frequent visitor/tipper for one model who is trying to grow her base of regular tippers, and I’ve also been her mod. To help her focus on new visitors, I stay out of the way when a new tipper becomes active. I don’t want them to stop tipping (or worse, leave the room) if they feel like the mod is crowding them out. So I save my tips for quieter times, and she knows I do this on purpose. But to a member like yourself, you might mistake me for a freeloader.

Sometimes a member that spends a lot in private shows will continue hanging out in public chat after they’ve stopped tipping, too. I guess my point is not to jump to conclusions about who is or isn’t tipping or why.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Okay. I hope I am overreacting and I probably should have waited to post but whatever.

I have been following a model for just over six months and my most active time was early on but I try and visit occasionally. Our schedules do not align now that I am back in the office. But we chat offline most days just to check in.

Anyway, a few months ago she got her first and only mod. And this guy always seems to be ushering me out of the room. Subtle but I feel it. She has told me he is jealous of me but I figure she says the same to him about me. I visit occasionally to see her and say hello but avoid her room because of him.

Last week I visited for the first time in a month. I mentioned that I could not stay long because I had to go to work. Immediately he says "okay, see you later." So I was annoyed and left.

Today I decided to visit again because I had the day off and could hang out. She was happy. We chatted and were having a nice time. We decided to play with her Domi. I had tipped about 1,500 tokens and as we were winding down, the mod asks her "Are you ready to cum?" And he slams her with a few very large pattern tips and then says to me "thanks for coming."

My response was "Oh, am I leaving?" I still had over 2,000 tokens and about an hour before I had to leave.

But I left.

I don't know if he treats every tipper this way or just me. Am I overreacting? Should I have said something to her? Or just leave it alone?

Ugh, that's so shitty, and I'm sorry. She's really doing herself a disservice here by allowing this kind of mod behavior to continue with this guy...whether he's a generous tipper or not. Members shouldn't get away with treating other members like shit just because they were given the "mod" title...or just because he may tip more. Imo, there are other things besides tokens that are important in a chatroom...like being a decent human being, and not being a dick to the other members in the room.

Chatrooms on token sites can really be a lot of fun when it's a group of members who are regulars, who know each other. This guy is making it an unpleasant environment, and his behavior is gonna run off other potential tippers. If the model ever PMs you to ask why you haven't been visiting lately, you should tell her the truth...it's because of him.

 

[MarieElise]

I definitely think you should tell her. Sorry for your experience, he sounds like a Dipshit. They're fucking everywhere these days

 

[Just_A_Guy]

I guess my point is not to jump to conclusions about who is or isn’t tipping or why.

Well, that is fair. And I guess you might have a point there. I know nothing about "modding", but sounds like you are doing a great job there in what, as a member, I would consider an appropriate way of "modding" a chat.

I stay out of the way when a new tipper becomes active. I don’t want them to stop tipping (or worse, leave the room) if they feel like the mod is crowding them out. So I save my tips for quieter times, and she knows I do this on purpose.

Yeah, sure. Makes sense. I can see that.

Sometimes a member that spends a lot in private shows will continue hanging out in public chat

Not my case.

I don’t disagree with you that mods who don’t tip can seem annoying

If I stand and recall correctly you mostly hang out in MFC, I don't know the site very well, to tell you the truth. I can tell you for a fact that on cb mods are a sh*tshow and an embarassment not only for themselves , but for the models too who made them mods. I get that they might be their studio managers. Well, they are just embarassing themselves. Just my experience. But I mean, no big deal. Never had a problem with models I visit or used to visit. Just my 2 cents here.

 

[Smoothie]

If I stand and recall correctly you mostly hang out in MFC, I don't know the site very well, to tell you the truth. I can tell you for a fact that on cb mods are a sh*tshow and an embarassment not only for themselves , but for the models too who made them mods. Just my experience. But I mean, no big deal. Never had a problem with models I visit or used to visit. Just my 2 cents here.

I am primarily on CB, almost never on MFC, but I have passed through there on occasion.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

I am primarily on CB, almost never on MFC, but I have passed through there on occasion.

Oh, Ok. My bad. I must have remembered wrong. Sorry.

 

[NotYou]

You say mod, so I assume this is CB? Probably the best thing to do is to just click his name and "ignore user", then you don't see his stupid messages, trust me it helps a lot because then you forget he is even there and you can enjoy the room as intended.

 

[AudriTwo]

Mods are the worst. I would definitely mention it to her privately.

If he's doing this with you, he will do it to other paying members.

 

[Jay_Storm]

You say mod, so I assume this is CB? Probably the best thing to do is to just click his name and "ignore user", then you don't see his stupid messages, trust me it helps a lot because then you forget he is even there and you can enjoy the room as intended.

I like this idea but the comments are just part of the problem. He is always trying to divert attention back onto himself. So even if I didn't see his comments, his behavior would be disruptive to my experience.

 

[Jay_Storm]

Mods are the worst. I would definitely mention it to her privately.

If he's doing this with you, he will do it to other paying members.

I generally agree with you but I am also a mod (through no fault of my own) in two rooms. Both made me mod without asking. One as some weird token of affection and another because someone is harassing her and I am the only regular she trusts. But as a mod I believe I am to be in the background as much as possible. I only tip when it is quiet to try and create some momentum. Otherwise I watch to make sure no one is being rude or disrespectful. I have only silenced one user ever.

And I do wonder if he is targeting me out of jealousy or if he does this with others.

 

[rockin_rod]

Okay. I hope I am overreacting and I probably should have waited to post but whatever.

I have been following a model for just over six months and my most active time was early on but I try and visit occasionally. Our schedules do not align now that I am back in the office. But we chat offline most days just to check in.

Anyway, a few months ago she got her first and only mod. And this guy always seems to be ushering me out of the room. Subtle but I feel it. She has told me he is jealous of me but I figure she says the same to him about me. I visit occasionally to see her and say hello but avoid her room because of him.

Last week I visited for the first time in a month. I mentioned that I could not stay long because I had to go to work. Immediately he says "okay, see you later." So I was annoyed and left.

Today I decided to visit again because I had the day off and could hang out. She was happy. We chatted and were having a nice time. We decided to play with her Domi. I had tipped about 1,500 tokens and as we were winding down, the mod asks her "Are you ready to cum?" And he slams her with a few very large pattern tips and then says to me "thanks for coming."

My response was "Oh, am I leaving?" I still had over 2,000 tokens and about an hour before I had to leave.

But I left.

I don't know if he treats every tipper this way or just me. Am I overreacting? Should I have said something to her? Or just leave it alone?

Firstly, I'm not a model, but I am a moderator on CB. I've been on both sides of similar 'sparring' interactions to what you've described.
As a regular viewer, I would not willingly allow someone else's behaviour (even if they are being a dick) to drive me out of a room that I wanted to be in.
But I do acknowledge that clashing with someone else can be tiring and draining, and make an enjoyable place become unpleasant for you and others - so something has to be done.
And sometimes, it may be better to leave the room without drama to avoid souring the mood on that occasion. But I'd always tell the model why I left.
There should always be a good level of trust between a model and any moderator, meaning the model can focus elsewhere - like on the show, paying attention to other tippers etc.
So a rogue moderator with an ulterior motive might not be noted, unless their behaviour is pointed out to the model. She needs to know if this guy is being toxic under her nose.

In this example, I think standing up to an overbearing moderator would be straightforward - writing back something like "thanks, but I'm having fun with <model> and I'm not ready to leave yet".
He has nowhere to go, without looking like a complete idiot in front of the model and all other viewers.

Now, all that said, when I am a moderator I pay a lot more attention to the chat than as a viewer. It is pretty easy to spot when someone has developed a crush on a model.
The challenge is to stay consistent in helping the model keep the room as they want it, without becoming subjective and stepping over the line and abusing the privilege of supporting.
Personally, I struggle sometimes with that consistency, but am much more tuned in to dealing with demands and rudeness than worrying about someone who is crushing on the model; after all, they are likely to be spending and returning often, and that is good for the model.
The problem gets compounded if the moderator is also someone who has a crush on the model - and plenty fall into that category. One of the worst rooms I ever visited in that regard was when a model had 5 or 6 regulars who were sparring with the moderator, so she made them all moderators. Not a great way to diffuse the problem.

So - in summary - IMHO, stay in the room if you want to be there, tip as you see fit, and tell the model (in PM or offline) if the moderator is being a dick.

 

[NotYou]

I generally agree with you but I am also a mod (through no fault of my own) in two rooms. Both made me mod without asking. One as some weird token of affection and another because someone is harassing her and I am the only regular she trusts. But as a mod I believe I am to be in the background as much as possible. I only tip when it is quiet to try and create some momentum. Otherwise I watch to make sure no one is being rude or disrespectful. I have only silenced one user ever.

And I do wonder if he is targeting me out of jealousy or if he does this with others.

So many of the mods feel like they are special and the model is in love with them and they become too jealous and possessive. It doesn't even need to be from you tipping. If you chat with and make the model smile and laugh then from my experience these guys are super jealous of you for it. It happens a lot with me because I love some humour with models. I learn to either ignore the user or use pm only.

I'm sure any regular she has that also makes her laugh etc he will also be jealous of, not just you. Maybe one day view on another account or as a guest and watch him

 

[Sxmxr]

I literally felt this post. Like the job should be about putting on a good show not babysitting upset members. Not blaming you op but I think it’s best to ignore the mod or hint at the model that the mod is overbearing. Unfortunately situations like this happen all too often. I have mods that get upset if i don’t greet them even though I’m literally in the middle of a performance.

 

[MallorieReese]

This is why female models should get girl mods who are straight. This kind of childish jealousy is going to affect both her traffic and her earnings.
I think you should take to her in private and be rational about it - present the facts and then the consequences of allowing the mod to act like that. Since she is the model and practically the CEO of her chatroom, she should have the last word, not the mod.

 

[throwawayacc71]

where I'm from when you have a problem with someone you speak to them directly, not through mutual contacts.
can you pm him directly and ask if he has a problem with you?

 

[NotYou]

where I'm from when you have a problem with someone you speak to them directly, not through mutual contacts.
can you pm him directly and ask if he has a problem with you?

For some reason, I kind of feel like this would stir up more shit than it would be worth if you contact the mod directly. I think it's best to talk with the model. I feel like a mod like this would just start to be MORE of an arsehole and cause more problems and he himself may go running to the model and start saying all kinds of BS lies.

I would personally try chat with the model especially if you're on good and friendly terms with her

 

[yummybrownfox]

For some reason, I kind of feel like this would stir up more shit than it would be worth if you contact the mod directly. I think it's best to talk with the model. I feel like a mod like this would just start to be MORE of an arsehole and cause more problems and he himself may go running to the model and start saying all kinds of BS lies.

I would personally try chat with the model especially if you're on good and friendly terms with her

This. The mod could be some petty asshole who decides to ban the op simply because the op calmly confronted him privately about the issue. The op should talk to the model about this, since she's the one who gave that fool the 'mod' title...and this is about to cost her a good regular. If, even after discussing this with her, she continues to sit back and let Mod dude be an ass to her other regular (Jay), then maybe it's time to say bye-bye to that room, and find a better room where you're appreciated and it's not all drama-filled like a damn soap opera.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

The mod could be some petty asshole

What if the mod is her jealous bf and his tokens are not even his. Just a thought. In any case, that's not a chat I would like to be in. My two cents.

 

[yummybrownfox]

What if the mod is her jealous bf and his tokens are not even his. Just a thought. In any case, that's not a chat I would like to be in. My two cents.

Doesn't change what I said. Too much silly drama for a cam site, and Jay_Storm deserves better than that. It's supposed to be a fun, relaxing environment.

This is just another example of a mod doing the model more harm than good.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

Too much silly drama for a cam site

Agree! Also agree that is the is the model who made him mod, though. And that she definitely needs to be informed about the situation.

 

[AudriTwo]

What if the mod is her jealous bf and his tokens are not even his. Just a thought. In any case, that's not a chat I would like to be in. My two cents.

i would like to know if my SO was being insecure and jealous thus possibly sabotaging my income. why would anyone wanna hang around with a jealous insecure SO?

 

[Just_A_Guy]

Well, sure. I can see that. As a man, I have never let a woman sabotaging/jeopardising neither my income nor my life, so I can't fathom why any woman would do that on their part.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

why would anyone wanna hang around with a jealous insecure SO?

I am having problem - for some reason with the reply botton - so I really beg your pardon for dp. Possibly because they themselves are insecure? Anyway, agree with you. That's sad.

 

[AudriTwo]

I am having problem - for some reason with the reply botton - so I really beg your pardon for dp. Possibly because they themselves are insecure? Anyway, agree with you. That's sad.

it is possible but lots of people are insecure. that's a pretty normal feeling. it depends on how a person copes with it.