IS it possible for cam models to fall in love with members at times or is it just a ruse?

[1AutumnLeaf]

Hey, So as soon as i entered the topic i got so many suggestions of similar threads which i wasn't surprised to see. But I'm still gonna go ahead and post. I am doing my PG in the US and I've been using LJ for about 6 months now. 4 months back I found a pretty Russian cam girl(as everyone would on LJ haha) who spoke English really well and I've stayed there ever since as she was easy to interact and connect with. As time went by like aaaaalllll the lonely members i started falling in love with her. She's really pretty alright but i loved her honesty and personality. She used to tell about how she wanted to get out of Russia and i would jokingly(did I) say she could come and stay with me haha. She shared stuff about her family and life an dwe had so much to relate about.She's like 2 years older than me and I look really young for my age and I've been told so all the time which had made my life difficult enough. So I sent her pictures to ask her about it and soon i started sending more stuff about me, i wrote poems for her which she loved. She is only a topless model and i have taken her to pvt multiple times and once she even offered to do something special(show here tits probably) if i wanted to but I've never seen her without clothes. Fuck I'm getting so lost already... i'm really sorry for whoever reads this
So i was like really nice to her and then i just had to tell her i loved her one day. She brushed it off saying it is virtual and can't be real. Well i never had any hope too.. I just had to tell. The next day an asshole comes into free chat and starts spewing nonsense about how they loved each other and if she had forgotten it all.. he even mentioned her name (Just the first and last letter) to which the model panicked and cleared the chat. This is when i knew it wasn't nonsense. I was heartbroken knowing i had missed something i could have had but then she said it was just a guy who knew something he shouldn't have. She said this guy was the reason for her crying like the whole day abt a month before...(she really was just crying the whole day and could not keep herself together in Free chat) A week later the same guy came into the chat and she spoke really excited with him. I was fucking confused and i could not take it anymore. This is when i realized i was losing myself to VR and had to take a break i said goodbye and i left... only to return back in 3 days with a different account and sent her a stupid pic and she identified it was me. All i ever do is cheer her up and she said as i always to to keep her happy she loved me a lot as a FRIEND and i could stay in free chat as long as i want and she would be glad about it(No she wasnt.. i later found out i was only annoying her and she didnt know how to tell with me being nice) Also being a student i can't afford much so i try my best not to bother her. She's like always sad when I'm there even if i keep my big-ass mouth shut but then a guy who never pays and teases her in free chat comes in her whole mood changes and she interacts with him no matter how long. WTF am i doing wrong here.. Do girls in general hate/are annoyed by men being nice?.. Fuck, anyway,, one day she says she actually likes a member (who she hasn't seen, but the guy is filthy rich and really popular in LJ that even members know abt him.. He's the fucking king in most rooms) who teases here and they got connected and she's in a state of dilemma... The guy is from a state she would love to go to and she probably has hopes to move to US with him. She even gets jealous when she finds him in other model rooms. I keep telling i love her for who she is whenever i get the chance(i never put pressure.. i've already said i know she loves someone, and i dont mind that and i wont bother her abt it too but that i'll keep loving her no matter what because even if whatever experience i had there wasn't real for her it was for me!) She really helped me get out of a really bad place in my life even if what she did wasn't intentional or the words she said weren't meant for real and i just cant forget her.

So, fuck I'm Lost again.... I'll understand if the post gets taken down..

Well my question is... From what we have spoken and shared and i've see, I can tell(no i'm not delusional and i'm confident) that she is a genuine person looking to get better at life but this newfound love for a wealthy man makes my head hurt finding it contradictory to what i see her as.. I'm sorry if this word offends some ppl but Is she a gold digger? I mean she really deserves a good person but how can a person fall in love with someone they haven't seen but just spoke to.. Have any of you models felt sooooo connected to a person just by chatting that you think they might be your soulmate?

And among all this chaos you know what she said last week.. that my sign is the most compatible with hers and she giggles! Like my feelings aren't in enough turmoil already!!! Now we both are way past the point where even if she says she can never love me I am fine with it. Why still keep giving hints?! I am not even that much of a paying member which is why I'm confused. When i jokingly said maybe i was born in the wrong time in the wrong place and maybe should've born 2 years earlier she said my age is fine and that she believes everyone one has a chance.. Does this girl want me to go crazy? Fuck or am i already? Reading the post i think so too. I just needed a space to write this down and get it all off my chest cause i've got no one to share anything which is probably why I'm so attached to VR.. Anyway thanks for reading this and making it this far(if anyone has by some miracle!) and my heartfelt gratitude to that soul who even thinks of replying to this
Love you all❤❤❤

 

[yummybrownfox]

Have any of you models felt sooooo connected to a person just by chatting that you think they might be your soulmate?

Not from a person I've only chatted with online, no.

Soulmate? Wow, that's a pretty strong word, my friend!

 

[Feedback]

As you said VR, good English and non-nude there aren't that many options. Is her model name E.M.? In that case I may know the other user you are talking about - he's just a whale.

 

[Ozzie_]

Ok. there's a lot to unpack here.

Is it possible for a model to fall in love with a user? Sure it is *possible*. Is it *likely*?? NOPE!

You said she told you it was ok for you to just loiter in her room, but that you then found out she did not like it.
(But then you later seem to imply that you two have a close relationship after all)

You said she is in love with someone else. Either this is true or you are projecting jealousy or delusionment or something.
Either way.. it seems to me that she probably does *not* love you and that you are maybe not in a good mental space to be in any type of romantic relationship (certainly not a long distance, virtual one) .

She really helped me get out of a really bad place in my life even if what she did wasn't intentional or the words she said weren't meant for real and i just cant forget her.

I'd suggest working on your own issues and work on some self love/care. Get out in your real community and connect with real people.

Take care.

 

[Marceline]

I was heartbroken knowing i had missed something i could have had

You didn't miss something you could have had. You didn't miss being with her by not being in her cam room a few weeks or months earlier or by being born later or by not being born in the same area as her. She is not into you romantically. She has told you this.

This is when i realized i was losing myself to VR and had to take a break i said goodbye and i left... only to return back in 3 days with a different account and sent her a stupid pic and she identified it was me. All i ever do is cheer her up and she said as i always to to keep her happy she loved me a lot as a FRIEND and i could stay in free chat as long as i want and she would be glad about it(No she wasnt.. i later found out i was only annoying her and she didnt know how to tell with me being nice) Also being a student i can't afford much so i try my best not to bother her. She's like always sad when I'm there even if i keep my big-ass mouth shut but then a guy who never pays and teases her in free chat comes in her whole mood changes and she interacts with him no matter how long. WTF am i doing wrong here..

What are you doing wrong? You're annoying someone trying to do their job. She's more than likely a studio model and could get in trouble for going off on you and telling you how she really feels and her studio could also not allow for them to block paying members. Why would you even want to be in the room of someone who you acknowledge is uncomfortable/annoyed with your presence?

Do girls in general hate/are annoyed by men being nice?

No. This is classic Nice Guy tm logic. Guys that are genuinely nice do not constantly push their feelings onto someone who is not reciprocating and has vocalized their lack of romantic interest. Actual nice guys respect a woman's feelings and boundaries and if they feel like they are being a nuisance to someone they back off. They don't do this:

I keep telling i love her for who she is whenever i get the chance(i never put pressure..

It's awkward at best, infuriating at worst, when someone won't take no for an answer. She has told you she is not romantically interested in you. Do you honestly think that by badgering her she will change her mind and be like "You know what, yes, let me run away to America with this guy who previously annoyed me because he annoyed me into falling in love with him". This sort of persistence shows that you don't care about the person in question. You only care about your own selfish interests, even if it means making the other person uncomfortable. Actual nice guys, or rather, genuinely kind people, don't do that.

I'm sorry if this word offends some ppl but Is she a gold digger?

No one here knows what her intentions are. Especially based off what is surely a biased viewpoint of her situation. Only she knows her intentions. With that being said, most women are attracted to guys who have their shit together. Having money and a good job falls into the "having your shit together" category. I can't speak for all women, but I can tell you that I personally would much rather be with a man who has a good job and has a decent income than someone who didn't. Why? It's not because I'm looking for a man to take care of me. It's because I want someone to bring what I'm bring to the table, so to speak. If I wanted to take care of another human being financially and emotionally I'd just go ahead and have a child.

I mean she really deserves a good person but how can a person fall in love with someone they haven't seen but just spoke to..

I can't believe you don't see the irony in this. First off, you don't know what the extent of their interactions is. They could have a ton of offsite interaction. They could chat offline through messenger apps or video chat offline. They could have a ton in common. He could be a wonderful man. But in the end, it's not your place to know or care about any of that interaction because you are not her boyfriend. You're just someone who sometimes purchases an online service from her. Secondly, you "fell in love" with her over a span of four months through talking on a camsite. Like I said, the irony.

Why still keep giving hints?!

It's her job. You pay her, even if it's just a little bit, and like I said before, she probably is prohibited from being mean or banning you because of her studio. Her being flirtatious is just her being a good camgirl. She hasn't led you on and told you that she wants to one day be with you. I commend her for being upfront about her lack of feelings and not playing the lovecon. Good for her.

To wrap this up, I think you are absolutely the wrong one in this situation and that you need to distance yourself from this cam model and camsites in general.

 

[MarieElise]

This sort of persistence shows that you don't care about the person in question. You only care about your own selfish interests, even if it means making the other person uncomfortable. Actual nice guys, or rather, genuinely kind people, don't do that.

This OP ^^^^. Also screams lack of respect, and that you likely see her as a potential possession, and not a person. Very off-putting from a woman's perspective. We don't wanna be some trophy that makes y'all feel good about yourselves, but doesn't exist as a person or get any attention outside of that. It's gotten super old. You don't even know her. Cam models only show parts of themselves, you're in love with a fantasy you've built up in your own mind, based upon a person who doesn't even exist.

ETA; You do sound like you at least have good intentions, but you are correct that you have lost yourself to VR. If it helped you during a hard time in your lfe that is great, but if it then goes too far and puts you back in a bad place, then it's not good at all. I suggest meeting some women to chat to online through shared interests, and forums on things you enjoy. You'd make better friends that way, and even possibly build a true relationship with a chick who was looking for one.

 

[AudriTwo]

ironic profile choice for OP since luffy is aromantic.

 

[1AutumnLeaf]

As you said VR, good English and non-nude there aren't that many options. Is her model name E.M.? In that case I may know the other user you are talking about - he's just a whale.

HAHA no.. But i'm curious who E.M. is now!.. Still i dont think its right to use the model's name✌ so maybe refrain from doing so..

 

[1AutumnLeaf]

Not from a person I've only chatted with online, no.

Soulmate? Wow, that's a pretty strong word, my friend!

Yeah right!.. But that's what the model says.. Apparently she is so connected with that member.. if she doesn't see him she gets upset the entire day and says she's jealous if she sees him in other rooms!.. And i'm like yeah.. now you know how we feel!

 

[1AutumnLeaf]

Ok. there's a lot to unpack here.

Is it possible for a model to fall in love with a user? Sure it is *possible*. Is it *likely*?? NOPE!

You said she told you it was ok for you to just loiter in her room, but that you then found out she did not like it.
(But then you later seem to imply that you two have a close relationship after all)

You said she is in love with someone else. Either this is true or you are projecting jealousy or delusionment or something.
Either way.. it seems to me that she probably does *not* love you and that you are maybe not in a good mental space to be in any type of romantic relationship (certainly not a long distance, virtual one) .


I'd suggest working on your own issues and work on some self love/care. Get out in your real community and connect with real people.

Take care.

Yup definitely working on it.. Thanks.. After reading the posts on this forum i got to know I'M NOT THAT SPECIAL CASE who falls in love with models.. it helped to anchor back to reality✌

 

[MarieElise]

ironic profile choice for OP since luffy is aromantic.

that grumpy looking kid w a finger up his nose is a romantic? the world is confusing.

 

[rockin_rod]

In a lot of cultures, we are conditioned to associate feelings of sexual attraction with being in a committed relationship.
Totally at odds with the business of camming, which in part explains all the threads about being ILW a cam girl.
People get confused, and a completely natural and normal need for sexual release becomes linked to the social connection that can seem present when somebody attractive greets you warmly and interacts with you in real time.
Being socially introverted or just plain lonely can really confuse things further, not to mention the impacts of disconnection through lockdowns for the last 18+ months.

You're self-aware enough to have come here and posted, probably knowing what the responses would be. So consider that a good start towards making some positive changes.
Good news is, you're in a great country and have lots of opportunities to broaden your social outlook. Why not try taking up a team sport; joining in group activities (like movie, cooking or book club); going on a date; ask a bud to a ball game; just try to spend less time online, and in particular with this model. If you're looking for a relationship, try the usual dating apps. But don't look for one on a cam site.
Good Luck!

 

[1AutumnLeaf]

You didn't miss something you could have had. You didn't miss being with her by not being in her cam room a few weeks or months earlier or by being born later or by not being born in the same area as her. She is not into you romantically. She has told you this.



What are you doing wrong? You're annoying someone trying to do their job. She's more than likely a studio model and could get in trouble for going off on you and telling you how she really feels and her studio could also not allow for them to block paying members. Why would you even want to be in the room of someone who you acknowledge is uncomfortable/annoyed with your presence?



No. This is classic Nice Guy tm logic. Guys that are genuinely nice do not constantly push their feelings onto someone who is not reciprocating and has vocalized their lack of romantic interest. Actual nice guys respect a woman's feelings and boundaries and if they feel like they are being a nuisance to someone they back off. They don't do this:



It's awkward at best, infuriating at worst, when someone won't take no for an answer. She has told you she is not romantically interested in you. Do you honestly think that by badgering her she will change her mind and be like "You know what, yes, let me run away to America with this guy who previously annoyed me because he annoyed me into falling in love with him". This sort of persistence shows that you don't care about the person in question. You only care about your own selfish interests, even if it means making the other person uncomfortable. Actual nice guys, or rather, genuinely kind people, don't do that.



No one here knows what her intentions are. Especially based off what is surely a biased viewpoint of her situation. Only she knows her intentions. With that being said, most women are attracted to guys who have their shit together. Having money and a good job falls into the "having your shit together" category. I can't speak for all women, but I can tell you that I personally would much rather be with a man who has a good job and has a decent income than someone who didn't. Why? It's not because I'm looking for a man to take care of me. It's because I want someone to bring what I'm bring to the table, so to speak. If I wanted to take care of another human being financially and emotionally I'd just go ahead and have a child.



I can't believe you don't see the irony in this. First off, you don't know what the extent of their interactions is. They could have a ton of offsite interaction. They could chat offline through messenger apps or video chat offline. They could have a ton in common. He could be a wonderful man. But in the end, it's not your place to know or care about any of that interaction because you are not her boyfriend. You're just someone who sometimes purchases an online service from her. Secondly, you "fell in love" with her over a span of four months through talking on a camsite. Like I said, the irony.



It's her job. You pay her, even if it's just a little bit, and like I said before, she probably is prohibited from being mean or banning you because of her studio. Her being flirtatious is just her being a good camgirl. She hasn't led you on and told you that she wants to one day be with you. I commend her for being upfront about her lack of feelings and not playing the lovecon. Good for her.

To wrap this up, I think you are absolutely the wrong one in this situation and that you need to distance yourself from this cam model and camsites in general.

OK.. i can really feel the heat from this reply.. haha so i'll try to expand.. So What i pay is almost like nothing.. So when i left, she sent a message after a few days saying she is alone and wants me to be near(not pvt just in free chat) and she knows i can't pay a single tip. But yeah like u said i don't know the extent of their conversation, i should probably not judge.. and regarding telling i lover her.. i dont push my feelings.. i just say it when she does says something nice to me .. Not in a romantical way.. more like affection at this point haha and she isn't annoyed.. also her studio isn't that strict and i've seen her ask members to literally leave.. those who pay a lot more than me, And she is a newbie.. abt 6-7 months appx has never been in cam biz before, she goes to a psychologist now apparently for having something to do with work(which she obviously didn't expand on and i didn't ask too)

But Yeah.. now its been 2 days of my new routine, now i just go in say a hi, ask her how she is, maybe a question more and i leave.. Probably will transition out, ✌ Told her she's too kind to admit i'm annoying and that i'll make my visits less frequent for the peace of both of us she said she'll miss me and text me if she ever wants me there haha.. SO THAT WAS A MORE CLEAR MESSAGE.. so i am in a better place now than what the post might seem to project hehe.. I just wanted to see if i can get some answers, but mostly somewhere to just write this all down THANKS FOR REPLYING! HAHA

 

[Marceline]

You do sound like you at least have good intentions, but you are correct that you have lost yourself to VR. If it helped you during a hard time in your lfe that is great, but if it then goes too far and puts you back in a bad place, then it's not good at all. I suggest meeting some women to chat to online through shared interests, and forums on things you enjoy. You'd make better friends that way, and even possibly build a true relationship with a chick who was looking for one.

I'm going to have to disagree with the good intentions part of this. I'm not saying OP is a bad guy, but he clearly has some issues he needs to work through when it comes to his feelings towards women. Just from this post alone he has shown that he has jealous and obsessive tendencies and does not respect the boundaries or feelings of someone he claims to "love". I feel like those sorts of issues would need to be worked through before looking for any sort of relationship, otherwise it'd just be a recipe for disaster. The fact that he is aware of the way he makes her feel and continues on the way he does is also troubling.

I agree that he should try to find friends through different venues other than camsites, but not for the purpose of one day trying to hopefully get with one of them. I'd say the most beneficial thing is to spend more time offline and try working on himself more. But that's just my two cents.

 

[1AutumnLeaf]

ironic profile choice for OP since luffy is aromantic.

its the profile image i've been using for all my gaming profiles (thought was funny and it was the time i started one piece).. thought i'll just continue.. HEY ITS JUST A PROFILE NOT ME

 

[MarieElise]

I'm going to have to disagree with the good intentions part of this. I'm not saying OP is a bad guy, but he clearly has some issues he needs to work through when it comes to his feelings towards women. Just from this post alone he has shown that he has jealous and obsessive tendencies and does not respect the boundaries or feelings of someone he claims to "love". I feel like those sorts of issues would need to be worked through before looking for any sort of relationship, otherwise it'd just be a recipe for disaster. The fact that he is aware of the way he makes her feel and continues on the way he does is also troubling.

I agree that he should try to find friends through different venues other than camsites, but not for the purpose of one day trying to hopefully get with one of them. I'd say the most beneficial thing is to spend more time offline and try working on himself more. But that's just my two cents.

Yeah the good intentions was not very accurate wording on my part. I'm not sure exactly what I was trying to say there. Something I can't quite put into words right now, I guess. My wording on that bothered me too, as far as accuracy goes.

 

[1AutumnLeaf]

that grumpy looking kid w a finger up his nose is a romantic? the world is confusing.

i suppose he said 'aromantic' as in not romantic.. So no that grumpy looking kid is definitely not a romantic he's just a funny anime character haha✌.. lol is it inappropriate for this forum?

 

[1AutumnLeaf]

THANK YOU ALL.. I didn't expect replies! And all of your words have helped me put certain things into perspective for me. I'll work on them!
Also i think I didnt mention this earlier..., When i said i knew the king(the guy she felt connected) from other rooms she asked me in what other model rooms I've seen him and what relationship they have.. LOL but it doesn't matter anymore.. haha.. i know i should definitely be giving space which i realize i haven't and maybe refrain from asking abt her personal love life✌

AND ENOUGH ABOUT THE PROFILE PICTURE i thought it was funny.. maybe not for everyone

Maybe I'll post an update after today if at all something happens.. Y'all have been helpful

Cheers✌ Have a great Day.!

 

[1AutumnLeaf]

In a lot of cultures, we are conditioned to associate feelings of sexual attraction with being in a committed relationship.
Totally at odds with the business of camming, which in part explains all the threads about being ILW a cam girl.
People get confused, and a completely natural and normal need for sexual release becomes linked to the social connection that can seem present when somebody attractive greets you warmly and interacts with you in real time.
Being socially introverted or just plain lonely can really confuse things further, not to mention the impacts of disconnection through lockdowns for the last 18+ months.

You're self-aware enough to have come here and posted, probably knowing what the responses would be. So consider that a good start towards making some positive changes.
Good news is, you're in a great country and have lots of opportunities to broaden your social outlook. Why not try taking up a team sport; joining in group activities (like movie, cooking or book club); going on a date; ask a bud to a ball game; just try to spend less time online, and in particular with this model. If you're looking for a relationship, try the usual dating apps. But don't look for one on a cam site.
Good Luck!

Thanks!.. Maybe i should try a dating app.. Yeah not socializing enough.. Will work on it✌

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Do girls in general hate/are annoyed by men being nice

You're not being nice, you're being annoying

When we're at work, it's not nice to waste our time.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I only skimmed through the original post, so I missed a lot of stuff. The emoji overkill was kinda creeping me out, and posts like these kind of give me 'dude follows cam model around in Target, going "OMG, it's youuu! It's really youuu!" vibes.

 

[1AutumnLeaf]

You're not being nice, you're being annoying

When we're at work, it's not nice to waste our time.

Yeah I very well understand that part now.. ✌and the forum has very well made it clear.. thanks!

 

[1AutumnLeaf]

I only skimmed through the original post, so I missed a lot of stuff. The emoji overkill was kinda creeping me out, and posts like these kind of give me 'dude follows cam model around in Target, going "OMG, it's youuu! It's really youuu!" vibes.

Yeah sorry.. I've been using them a lot lately ever since I joined the cam site and the model loves to reply in emojis .. I'll remember to tone it down.. Or probably stop it for the best haha

 

[AudriTwo]

that grumpy looking kid w a finger up his nose is a romantic? the world is confusing

aromantic/asexual. the creator oda has specifically stated as such.

 

[MarieElise]

aromantic/asexual. the creator oda has specifically stated as such.

OK got it, I read it as "a" romantic. Whoops. Now everything makes sense My brain has been working weirdly af recently. At least I didn't read it as "aromatic" I guess. I shall be grateful I at least registered the n.

 

[AudriTwo]

AND ENOUGH ABOUT THE PROFILE PICTURE i thought it was funny.. maybe not for everyone

oh i wasn't complaining.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Yeah right!.. But that's what the model says.. Apparently she is so connected with that member.. if she doesn't see him she gets upset the entire day and says she's jealous if she sees him in other rooms!.. And i'm like yeah.. now you know how we feel!

Oh, I thought you were saying that YOU thought SHE is your soulmate. Lol.

 

[bbbbadddd]

What is it about most all of these in love with a model posts that make them type in walls of stream-of-conscious text?

 

[MarieElise]

is it inappropriate for this forum?

I couldn't answer that. Seems fine to me. I was more confused about it because of my own reading error. Plus it never hurts to know more about popular culture and what people are into. If this nose picker (or whatever) Luffy is what people are into, I wanna know more about him too, so I can be part of interesting conversations.

I'm not being sarcastic, I hate it when I don't know what everyone is talking about, I'm a nosey, curious person. Plus now I wanna know why he's aromantic.

 

[AudriTwo]

I couldn't answer that. Seems fine to me. I was more confused about it because of my own reading error. Plus it never hurts to know more about popular culture and what people are into. If this nose picker (or whatever) Luffy is what people are into, I wanna know more about him too, so I can be part of interesting conversations.

I'm not being sarcastic, I hate it when I don't know what everyone is talking about, I'm a nosey, curious person. Plus now I wanna know why he's aromantic.

It's from One Piece. A manga/anime. It's really good and has been going since the 90's. Luffy is a loveable loyal moron whose goal is to become the pirate king. 10/10 recommend. If you have hulu, they have like 200 dubbed episodes. Skip the filler, because it's been airing since '99.

there is a live-action film being released next year!