You're Not That Hot

[SaffronBurke]

^He wasn't really wrong about non sex workers coming across as more likeable and enjoyable to be around in general tho. I haven't been around camgirls much in real life but I've been around enough strippers(turned camgirls) to know that it has some truth to it. I know we all like to pretend that being a camgirl is all sunshine and rainbows but it has a pretty obvious negative impact on many.

Eh, I was bitchy to be around before I started camming, especially when strangers would approach and hit on me. Years of wearing a big shiny ring and telling dudes "I'm engaged, fuck off" and them brushing it off when like I was lying when I wasn't, made me the cunt I am today. :thumbleft:

 

[SexySteph]

I never said 'all' camgirls do this, that, or the other thing. But based on what I've seen in the time that I've been camming, and what I see girls talking about over and over again... all of the things I've pointed out have a definite basis in reality. Just because we don't all do them (for instance, I don't drink alcohol or use any sort of drugs, so that wouldn't apply to me at all) doesn't mean that they're not still widespread problems.

I'm hesitant to get involved in this whole discussion because it seems kind of meandering and unproductive, but I can't help but wonder what point you're trying to make in all this. I mean no disrespect, I promise. It just seems like you jumped from the discussion of whether entitlement, egotism, and lack of gratitude are a widespread problem to discussing the negative impact or drawbacks camming can have. I don't think anyone is suggesting that camming doesn't come with its own set of effects and potentially negative experiences (which, as others have pointed out, have much more to do with individual circumstances and personalities), and I'm not sure I see the connection you're making between the two.

I think what Gemma (and correct me if I'm wrong, Gemma) is trying to express is that Joe and Punk are correct. 1) That many of us do act entitled where in reality we don't deserve anything and feeling that we deserve anything is going to drive away customers and 2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

 

[Starling]

I never said 'all' camgirls do this, that, or the other thing. But based on what I've seen in the time that I've been camming, and what I see girls talking about over and over again... all of the things I've pointed out have a definite basis in reality. Just because we don't all do them (for instance, I don't drink alcohol or use any sort of drugs, so that wouldn't apply to me at all) doesn't mean that they're not still widespread problems.

I'm hesitant to get involved in this whole discussion because it seems kind of meandering and unproductive, but I can't help but wonder what point you're trying to make in all this. I mean no disrespect, I promise. It just seems like you jumped from the discussion of whether entitlement, egotism, and lack of gratitude are a widespread problem to discussing the negative impact or drawbacks camming can have. I don't think anyone is suggesting that camming doesn't come with its own set of effects and potentially negative experiences (which, as others have pointed out, have much more to do with individual circumstances and personalities), and I'm not sure I see the connection you're making between the two.

I think what Gemma (and correct me if I'm wrong, Gemma) is trying to express is that Joe and Punk are correct. 1) That many of us do act entitled where in reality we don't deserve anything and feeling that we deserve anything is going to drive away customers and 2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

Thank you! Upon rereading previous posts, I realized that Punk's post was what she was responding to/agreeing with, and that clarified her point. Sorry for misunderstanding, Gemma!

That being the case, my second paragraph would be my reply to all three of them.

 

[JessieWolfe]

I don't really think drinking is much of a problem for camgirls as it is for just all people in general. I admit, when I am pms-ing I have a short temper around testing trolls and take half a shot before I go on cam just to get myself a little giggly (I'm a light weight haha). But it isn't to do with anxiety or confidence. Just that I know I have a short temper while I'm pms, and half a shot won't hurt anything. I'm still in a full mind frame, things just won't bug me as much (and by thing I just mean people asking for free flashes/ pussy fingering etc in free chat when there is a 3$ gold show up haha)

I am naturally very anti social off the internet. I have always been this way though. The Internet is my outlet, where I have most of my social interactions. It has always been this way for me. So my social anxiety in real life isn't affected by my job in any way, just how my brain has always worked. I have to say my confidence to actually go out and do things alone has been positively impacted by camming. I'm going to a convention this year haha like holy shit I have the balls to go to a huge convention of people and meet new cam girls and I am so excited about that! Like yea I'll have my normal anxiety and awkwardness, but that isn't caused by being a homebody and working on the Internet.

I think camming gives me a self confidence boost. so I am like a better version of the super shy enclosed person I was from before camming. I have met so many awesome people on the Internet and get to chat with some of the most intriguing people and it has been wonderful.

I think we control our egos. I don't take bad comments personally, and I don't let compliments go to my head. I still feel like the same person from before camming, just more confident in social situations.

I just wanted to put this out there, since I am open on here about my social anxiety and I have mentioned having some liquor while pmsing haha it's just how my personality has always been, and I really don't feel like camming has made me feel entitled to people's mkney, or had a negative impact on my life.


Sorry if there are typos haha typing this on a phone while my munchkin is cuddling me haha

 

[BarbieLuv]

I think what Gemma (and correct me if I'm wrong, Gemma) is trying to express is that Joe and Punk are correct. 1) That many of us do act entitled where in reality we don't deserve anything and feeling that we deserve anything is going to drive away customers and 2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

You got it. :thumbleft:

 

[Ambers Troll]

I think what Gemma (and correct me if I'm wrong, Gemma) is trying to express is that Joe and Punk are correct. 1) That many of us do act entitled where in reality we don't deserve anything and feeling that we deserve anything is going to drive away customers and 2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

You got it. :thumbleft:

I am not convinced by either point... sorry. Perhaps because I work and live around so many "regular women" I know how unpleasant and selfish so many can be. The interpersonal drawbacks must be distressing, it must motivate you to be more sympathetic of others, not less.
As a model you are entitled to certain things when working. Don't apologise for that. There are reasons why you mute guests and basics for example, and you all know them.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

Yeah, kinda what I was trying to say. Like a bank teller or retail worker or a shitload of other jobs don't have to put up with the same stress, pressure and bullshit camgirls have to deal with. I get it tho, some people here are going to take whatever I say as an insult or me trying to be a douche or that I hate camgirls or whatever. And I get I'm not the best at trying to get my point across, what can ya do. Friday yall, let's get fucked up, first twelve rounds are on me.

 

[AmberCutie]

I never said 'all' camgirls do this, that, or the other thing. But based on what I've seen in the time that I've been camming, and what I see girls talking about over and over again... all of the things I've pointed out have a definite basis in reality. Just because we don't all do them (for instance, I don't drink alcohol or use any sort of drugs, so that wouldn't apply to me at all) doesn't mean that they're not still widespread problems.

I'm hesitant to get involved in this whole discussion because it seems kind of meandering and unproductive, but I can't help but wonder what point you're trying to make in all this. I mean no disrespect, I promise. It just seems like you jumped from the discussion of whether entitlement, egotism, and lack of gratitude are a widespread problem to discussing the negative impact or drawbacks camming can have. I don't think anyone is suggesting that camming doesn't come with its own set of effects and potentially negative experiences (which, as others have pointed out, have much more to do with individual circumstances and personalities), and I'm not sure I see the connection you're making between the two.

I think what Gemma (and correct me if I'm wrong, Gemma) is trying to express is that Joe and Punk are correct. 1) That many of us do act entitled where in reality we don't deserve anything and feeling that we deserve anything is going to drive away customers and 2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

Thank you! Upon rereading previous posts, I realized that Punk's post was what she was responding to/agreeing with, and that clarified her point. Sorry for misunderstanding, Gemma!

That being the case, my second paragraph would be my reply to all three of them.

Both Lilah and Gemma make some very good points.

Hell, sometimes when a thread like this goes off track it can produce some good discussion!

I posted before that I don't know for sure if I'm a less desirable person to be around (in person) now that I've been camming. But the likelihood is high. I've become more reclusive and my anxiety to go out and do things in public places is higher. I do drink quite a bit more, as I've become attuned to having a drink most days that I work to bring out the more social side of me and ease the nerves that come from my fear of failure during the upcoming cam shift that day. So my tolerance has gone up a bit, and I do crave it even away from my cam environment. I've gotten a confidence boost about my physical appearance and holding constructive conversations, which could either be a positive or a negative depending on the person who is hanging out with me. (Hey, maybe they liked me better as a meek and self-conscious girl, who knows?)

While I turn to a (mostly) socially acceptable form of vice (alcohol) to calm my nerves and cope with my feels, I know there are a LOT of cam girls who have it much worse with more crippling anxiety or depression who have to turn to prescriptions, or even worse, have turned to self harm or thoughts of suicide. A lot. I know many of us cam girls like to deny that's the case because we don't want to continue this stigma that sex workers have such issues. But the truth is, as Lilah pointed out, that these issues go well beyond sex workers or the camming world. It's a human condition.

 

[NoelleBright]

2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

Yeah, kinda what I was trying to say. Like a bank teller or retail worker or a shitload of other jobs don't have to put up with the same stress, pressure and bullshit camgirls have to deal with. I get it tho, some people here are going to take whatever I say as an insult or me trying to be a douche or that I hate camgirls or whatever. And I get I'm not the best at trying to get my point across, what can ya do. Friday yall, let's get fucked up, first twelve rounds are on me.

I feel like I will never be more unbearable than I was when I was waiting tables for a few years. Camming is an improvement.
Then again I'm pretty abrasive in general and probably not a good meter for these type of things.

 

[Sevrin]

Like a bank teller or retail worker or a shitload of other jobs don't have to put up with the same stress, pressure and bullshit camgirls have to deal with.

It might not be the *same* stress, but female bank tellers and retail workers get bullied and harassed, both sexually and otherwise, all the time, and they don't have nearly the earnings potential, unless they're just working while at school. Hell, women serving in the armed forces and on police forces, which is pretty far from camming are sexually assaulted all the time. One thing all have in common, is that women are more likely to be victims, and men are more likely to be perpetrators. Another thing is that experiences can vary widely.

Anyway, I was afk for a few days, so I missed this gem of a thread while it was still freshly covered with the morning's dew, but my first impression is that something set the OP off. Maybe it was some straight, single chick with one, or maybe two, very small tattoos. Those will break your heart every fucking time.

 

[SexySteph]

2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

Yeah, kinda what I was trying to say. Like a bank teller or retail worker or a shitload of other jobs don't have to put up with the same stress, pressure and bullshit camgirls have to deal with. I get it tho, some people here are going to take whatever I say as an insult or me trying to be a douche or that I hate camgirls or whatever. And I get I'm not the best at trying to get my point across, what can ya do. Friday yall, let's get fucked up, first twelve rounds are on me.

I feel like I will never be more unbearable than I was when I was waiting tables for a few years. Camming is an improvement.

Same here. Now that I'm a camgirl when I'm in situations when my non-camself would clam up and be uncomfortable or be sort of stand-offish or rude to avoid conversation I just think to myself "WWSD" (what would Steph do) and I'll be sweet and outgoing. I feel that I'm WAY more pleasant to be around since I've started camming. And with all the camgirls I've met I'd far rather spend time with camgirls than non-camgirl women. In my experience non-camming women are more likely to be intolerant, the type to throw out "whore" and "slut" when a girl isn't acting how they feel is acceptable, etc. Camgirls tend to be more perceptive to other people's emotions because we're used to moderating a chat room so we're more aware of things that can offend others / cause issues.

 

[SaffronBurke]

2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

Yeah, kinda what I was trying to say. Like a bank teller or retail worker or a shitload of other jobs don't have to put up with the same stress, pressure and bullshit camgirls have to deal with. I get it tho, some people here are going to take whatever I say as an insult or me trying to be a douche or that I hate camgirls or whatever. And I get I'm not the best at trying to get my point across, what can ya do. Friday yall, let's get fucked up, first twelve rounds are on me.

While it's not the same stress, retail was way worse for me than camming ever has been. Though, I worked at an upscale mall in a wealthy neigneighborhood, and the customers would be mean enough to send the employees into panic attacks, and we couldn't just hang up the phone or walk away, we had to let them abuse us. I was cussed out once, and yelled at for a good ten minutes, because I wouldn't take someone's credit card number over the phone and mail her something from the store.

Though, yeah, most retail workers aren't in that sort of situation, and actually enjoy doing retail stuff, so they wouldn't be as bothered by megacunt customers, so they're probably more pleasant to be around.

 

[SarahLove]

2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

Yeah, kinda what I was trying to say. Like a bank teller or retail worker or a shitload of other jobs don't have to put up with the same stress, pressure and bullshit camgirls have to deal with. I get it tho, some people here are going to take whatever I say as an insult or me trying to be a douche or that I hate camgirls or whatever. And I get I'm not the best at trying to get my point across, what can ya do. Friday yall, let's get fucked up, first twelve rounds are on me.

I feel like I will never be more unbearable than I was when I was waiting tables for a few years. Camming is an improvement.
Then again I'm pretty abrasive in general and probably not a good meter for these type of things.

Customers can be dicks at restaurants. But when they're mean to you when your'e waitressing, does it feel the same or less personal than when people are mean to you when you're on cam? Selling some restaurants food versus selling yourself seems like it would make one less stressful than the other in the long run. Depending on how you can compartmentalize your feelings I guess.

 

[SexySteph]

2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

Yeah, kinda what I was trying to say. Like a bank teller or retail worker or a shitload of other jobs don't have to put up with the same stress, pressure and bullshit camgirls have to deal with. I get it tho, some people here are going to take whatever I say as an insult or me trying to be a douche or that I hate camgirls or whatever. And I get I'm not the best at trying to get my point across, what can ya do. Friday yall, let's get fucked up, first twelve rounds are on me.

I feel like I will never be more unbearable than I was when I was waiting tables for a few years. Camming is an improvement.
Then again I'm pretty abrasive in general and probably not a good meter for these type of things.

Customers can be dicks at restaurants. But when they're mean to you when your'e waitressing, does it feel the same or less personal than when people are mean to you when you're on cam? Selling some restaurants food versus selling yourself seems like it would make one less stressful than the other in the long run. Depending on how you can compartmentalize your feelings I guess.

I feel like it's the opposite. When people are dicks to you as a server they're not normally being a dick about the food they're being a dick about the service and treating you like scum and everything in their evening has gone wrong and it's YOUR fault. On top of that you're likely not going to get a tip from them. And you have to keep serving them no matter how rude they're being. And there's a chance your manager will take their side and yell at you later to.

When you're camming if someone is being rude, you ban them. Done.

 

[AerynShade]

When I was a librarian a week didn't go by where someone didn't threaten to kill me.
I've dealt with people with knives, pepper spray, and short swords. All on my own. All standing just feet or inches away from me.
I've had men rub against me and say the most vile disgusting things... all while working in a library.
I had my car vandalized in front of my home because people didn't like me for kicking them/their friend out of the library.

Working online keeps me safer, nicer, and SANE. Have a bad cam day? Log off and complain. Drunk guy threatens you with a knife? Panic attack. I drink WAAAAAAAY less as a camgirl than as a librarian. I also don't have to put up with any stupid shit from just any random person. That's priceless.

 

[SarahLove]

2) Camgirls (not all but a large enough cohort that made it worth mentioning) actually are more unpleasant to be around in real life than "regular women" because of all those negative side effects that she listed.

Yeah, kinda what I was trying to say. Like a bank teller or retail worker or a shitload of other jobs don't have to put up with the same stress, pressure and bullshit camgirls have to deal with. I get it tho, some people here are going to take whatever I say as an insult or me trying to be a douche or that I hate camgirls or whatever. And I get I'm not the best at trying to get my point across, what can ya do. Friday yall, let's get fucked up, first twelve rounds are on me.

I feel like I will never be more unbearable than I was when I was waiting tables for a few years. Camming is an improvement.
Then again I'm pretty abrasive in general and probably not a good meter for these type of things.

Customers can be dicks at restaurants. But when they're mean to you when your'e waitressing, does it feel the same or less personal than when people are mean to you when you're on cam? Selling some restaurants food versus selling yourself seems like it would make one less stressful than the other in the long run. Depending on how you can compartmentalize your feelings I guess.

I feel like it's the opposite. When people are dicks to you as a server they're not normally being a dick about the food they're being a dick about the service and treating you like scum and everything in their evening has gone wrong and it's YOUR fault. On top of that you're likely not going to get a tip from them. And you have to keep serving them no matter how rude they're being. And there's a chance your manager will take their side and yell at you later to.

When you're camming if someone is being rude, you ban them. Done.

Oh good point! You're sort of helpless to do anything about it in the waitress situation. THAT in itself is awful.

 

[JickyJuly]

I don't really feel entitled while on cam. It's when I put on clothes and leave the house that my expected result gets a little inflated.

I put on motherfucking pants and a bra to face the public! This better be awesome and worth it! I could be home naked telling dudes their weiners are small for cash right now.
:lol:

 

[BarbieLuv]

Oh good point! You're sort of helpless to do anything about it in the waitress situation. THAT in itself is awful.

But in camming, you're helpless to do anything about cappers stealing your videos/feed and posting it anywhere they feel like (let's be honest; most of those guys don't care about being sent DMCAs), or potentially having your personal info spread around the internet (up to and including being completely doxxed and/or outed to family) if someone decides they just don't like you and want to 'punish' you. And there's no real way to permanently ban someone on a camsite; it takes 5 minutes for them to make another account and come back again.

Seriously, which is a worse feeling of helplessness: Someone using your naked body for their own personal gain and putting you in a position where you don't feel safe in your own home OR someone yelling at you for a couple of minutes because their salad had cheese on it?

I'm just sayin'. :handgestures-salute:

 

[NoelleBright]

Oh good point! You're sort of helpless to do anything about it in the waitress situation. THAT in itself is awful.

But in camming, you're helpless to do anything about cappers stealing your videos/feed and posting it anywhere they feel like (let's be honest; most of those guys don't care about being sent DMCAs), or potentially having your personal info spread around the internet (up to and including being completely doxxed and/or outed to family) if someone decides they just don't like you and want to 'punish' you. And there's no real way to permanently ban someone on a camsite; it takes 5 minutes for them to make another account and come back again.

Seriously, which is a worse feeling of helplessness: Someone using your naked body for their own personal gain and putting you in a position where you don't feel safe in your own home OR someone yelling at you for a couple of minutes because their salad had cheese on it?

I'm just sayin'. :handgestures-salute:

I dunno, I never feel like anyone is using my naked body for their own personal gain.
They're using an image of me on their screen for their personal gain, which I consented to have put there despite having total and complete knowledge of the risks, because the reward outweighed them.

Maybe I'm different because I don't have much "risk". I'm totally out as a camgirl, don't care if my information get's leaked (what are they going to do, show up at my apartment and knock on the door?), and don't get many trolls.

 

[CharlotteLace]

I think it depends on your background and how you deal with confrontation. People going crazy and yelling at me in real-life is way, way scarier than some random on the internet. I've been cornered by multiple bosses at a time for fucking up at work. Fucking terrifying and you can't just run away. I can always stop broadcasting if I really need a moment. Go cuddle my puppies. Bake a cake to calm down. I always have an out, whereas a waitress has to stand there and get yelled at for who knows how long, and that's always psychologically stressful.

Also I tend to internalize real-life confrontation and yelling as my personal shortcomings. But some dude on the internet doesn't like what I say? Yeah, not going to lose sleep over that. Then again, cappers don't bother me as long as they're not trying to be malicious/glean personal info. And Streamate caps me themselves, so it's something I've just come to terms with.

Either real-life or internet-life, there's an element of danger involved when you interact with other humans. It just kinda depends on your life experience to determine which is worse/more detrimental.

 

[NoelleBright]

When I cam I do not have to:
-Work 10 hour shifts without a break OR food aside from sneaking the occasional french fry.
-Get groped by the head chef for months before he finally gets fired.
-Have the manager steal my tips that customers leave at the register for me.
-Get my ass grabbed by the OWNER of the restaurant.
-Have to pay out the busboy an obscene percent of my earnings despite my bussing 90% of my own tables because the busboy came in when my shift was halfway over and was too busy out back smoking pot with the dishwasher to help when he actually did show up. (Busboys where I worked did not earn "tips", they were illegal and their paycheck was covered by our "tips", they were not optional)
-Get treated like shit on the bottom of a shoe by customers with some sort of fucked up superiority complex and not be able to do anything about it.
-Wake up at 4:30am to open a goddamn restaurant.
-Have the windows shot out by some idiot kid who lives across the street.
-I can go on and on forever.

Maybe working in a restaurant chain is different, but I worked for a millionaire cocksucker who owned his own diner and it was hell on Earth. The money was good but I wanted to throw myself into oncoming traffic basically every day.

ETA: I was once even forced to work for 5 hours while I had a 102 degree fever and was puking into the kitchen garbage can between delivering food until my shift replacement showed up.

 

[CharlotteLace]

Oh man. Can this turn into a thankful thread?

When I cam, I don't have to:
-start work before my boss, or close up after he's gone home for the day
-look after newer employees to make sure they're not fucking up study protocols (I worked in a lab)
-pop ibuprofen like candy because I've done back-breaking labor for 10 hours
-stay longer than intended because other people didn't do their job, and I need to fix their mistakes so studies wouldn't get fucked up
-come home exhausted, only to wake up to the same shit the next day.
-drive in crappy weather
-work holidays
-constantly be on edge when the loud, nitpicky boss would walk through the building for inspection
-cry. Except happy tears. I do those.
-report to the boss because, despite being their best employee (by their own admission), one tiny mistake put me on their shit list for weeks
-constantly talk other people out of quitting so I don't have to do their workload. (The turnaround was insane at that place.)
-deal with drama if I don't want to. I just click broadcast and relax into my happy little orgasm world.
-work 60+ hour weeks out of necessity for the boss. Because he was such an ass people would rage-quit and I'd be left with their workloads.

So yeah. I'll take camming any day. It makes me happy, I get to make people happy, and I appreciate this job every damn day for how it's changed my life for the better. A slow day camming's still greater than a typical day at my last job.

 

[DeezNA]

Well reading this thread sure was a fun little adventure. I'm detecting a theme here...

We are performers. We are entertainers. Deez is a persona, a character; yes, he's part of me but he is a stage-presence, he is not me.

We are REAL PEOPLE. WHAT?!?! Yup. We are humans too. We have flaws, we have personal issues, we have lives outside of the internet! I know, mind-blowing, right? Here's the fucked up part... brace yourself... cam-girls are actually... ready?... real females! OMG! Yep. So, if this thread is really about bashing people's worth based on 15 minutes of lurking a model's cam-persona, I think it's pretty disposable.

Not all performers and entertainers are supermodels by society's standard of "attractiveness" (i.e. Willem DeFoe, Seal, Edward James Olmos, etc.). Not all performers and entertainers are exceptionally "talented" in their field by society's standards (Nickelback, Steven Seagal, Paris Hilton, etc.). Regardless, they are where they are and they have their respective fan-bases. If you don't like them, no one is holding a gun to your head and telling you to like them. Move on, find those that you do like and SHOW YOUR SUPPORT. **(Performers listed here are based on my perception, many are likely to disagree that they are good examples, you get what I mean, that's what I'm after)**

To the OP: Try camming yourself before giving entrepreneurial advice. I don't tell people how to fix airplanes.

On a very serious note: With all performers and entertainers comes the risk of substance abuse, reclusiveness, self-risk, etc. Hendrix, Morrison, Belushi, Heath Ledger, fuck I could go on for days. It's not inherently linked to the industry, it's simply something that comes with the burdens and pressures that the industry and society lay upon us and how we cope with it. Regardless of how wide-spread this problem is and which industries it hits the hardest, it is still a problem and there are plenty of resources to gain the support system that we all may need sometimes. That being said, if anyone is suffering from severe problems with depression, substance or self abuse, PLEASE reach out - don't hesitate to contact myself or others in the community for help.

 

[Camgirl]

^He wasn't really wrong about non sex workers coming across as more likeable and enjoyable to be around in general tho. I haven't been around camgirls much in real life but I've been around enough strippers(turned camgirls) to know that it has some truth to it. I know we all like to pretend that being a camgirl is all sunshine and rainbows but it has a pretty obvious negative impact on many.

Yes, according to your small sample let's just make sweeping generalizations about thousands of women. I think I'm pretty awesome to be around in "real life", thanks, and so are most camgirls I've met (I'm sure it's more than you have met, actually). Camgirls are some of the most hard-working, positive, open-minded, supportive women I've ever encountered.

You're looking at it from the perspective of a fellow camgirl, though. And camgirls tend to be more positive/open/'real' around other camgirls.

Personally, I can definitely say that camming has negatively impacted me socially. I'm either A.) super cautious about meeting new people in case they get creepy/know what I do for work and try to use that to their advantage somehow (as you can imagine, this has shrunk my social circle/potential friend base considerably), B.) try to control conversations because I'm so used to vetting a camroom that it's just second nature to do so (which is now a HUGE communication issue that doesn't give people the warm-and-fuzzies when talking to me), or C.) if approached by a potential friend as in example A... I'll act REALLY bitchy as a sort of defense mechanism to try to get out of the situation because of my fear of being 'outed' online - hell, I don't even introduce myself with my real first name anymore, just in case the person is a crazy. That is NOT healthy, and I know it.

Now, that has nothing to do with my actual, real personality, and none of these things were an issue before I started camming 2 years ago. Which means that camming has changed my social behaviors in such a way that it's obvious to me, and none of them are in a positive way. At this point, I'm more comfortable talking to people through a computer than I am in person, and that is a HUGE problem. It's so bad that I've considered quitting camming to try to reclaim my actual personality instead of just being stuck in 'Gemma's headspace all of the time... but unfortunately, I can't financially do that right now.

Pretending that there aren't negative consequences to camming is rather naive; yes, it has the positives as well (working from home, good income, independence, etc.), but the downsides (social isolation, paranoia, communication issues) are also very real. These are issues within the camgirl community that you see examples of all of the time. And don't get me started on alcohol and drug abuse. Sweeping these sorts of things under the rug is NOT the way to help ladies who are struggling with those feelings/behaviors.

:twocents-02cents:

Yes, I agree. Camming can have negative effects on models. It can also have positive effects. However, generalizations based on little to no actual knowledge of actual camgirl outside of their workplace is what I was referring to.

Camming for me personally has made me a more socially adept person than I once was. I am much more comfortable engaging in conversations with people. I am much more able to handle difficult personalities with out losing my shit, and I can generally get along with anyone. I am a bit more socially isolated, but that was already my nature way before camming. With all the negatives, there are also positives (and not just the ones you mentioned) that effect some too. But making comments like "non camgirls are much more pleasant to be around than camgirls" is a pretty general statement. Especially when you have never even met a cam girl. That is what I was addressing.

I think in any job there are going to be stresses that make us appear a certain way, but have nothing to do with who we are as as a group. I was a MUCH bitchier person when I worked 70+ hours a week as an accountant.

 

[NyxieDay]

Speaking of cam confidence, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who read the title of this thread and said to themselves, "Hell yes I am".

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Was not made aware that it was share a horror story from your old jobs time. Why ain't nobody inform me? Pretty shady you guys.

Alright, so I'm in high school and I'm working for a catering company that does weddings and sometimes dinners when the orchestra performs. Only reason I really took the job was because a bunch of buddies were working there and it was boring having to wait for them to get off to do shit. We had all recently gotten our licenses and it was pretty cool having to leave the burbs and go work downtown where things were a little more wild. Easy job, we had to set up tables and bring in chairs and after we had to break everything down and load it into trucks. Didn't really have a boss, had a boss that would tell one of my buddies what we needed to do and he left us alone for the most part. This one time tho, phew, this cocksucker boss told us we'd be out of there by ten but we didn't end up leaving until like close to eleven, what a fucking asshole. Yeah I don't, I don't really have any bad experiences to share but I ain't trying to be left out. Why yall trying to leave me out tho?

 

[BritneySiren]

Lol so many replied I stopped getting ready. I did want to comment on how this has effected meeting ppl off cam. I think at the start it was nice to have ppl compliment me. I never EVER got that in real life when I started as I was eagerly depressed and had issues with being dark skinned and generally didnt loke myself. This and modeling has made me feel a bit more comfortable in my skin. I think as my confidence and deoression decreased (this is not to say thay its gone but I handle things better now) i began to smile more in person and take beyyer care of myself which made more ppl talk to me and some who would be very rude. In this city or at least the area I'm in I'm afraid to look too Frei as I have had several weord situations, one where I was polite to a homeless man but because I didnt agree to go with him back to some room I hated myself and all it he blacks.

I think camming can make you jaded if you have ppl yelling might numbing things about pussy at you...without really trying to talk to you.

But I guess to get back to the topic. I never ask anyone to pay out of the blue. If they mention boobs or their fantasies /things they are totally getting off on I ask for a tip or private deoending on what it is. I dont mind ppl coming in and hanging hanging free but I do get sad when I dont make anything cause I do have bills and this is my main income aside from making clips and occasionally selling off clothing and prints or the rare and elusive paid shoot. I only mind if someone is talking about how they wanna give me dick constantly or those who sit silently while I feel odd cause no one is talking so I have ten min. Conversations with myself...

I think many will give back what you give and I mention this often. If I'm feeling unable to deal I do log off though this is not always an option cause bills are due and they wont wait for my moods to improve.
I also realize that ppl deal with cam girls to not handle the baggage but many dont considered paying the girl to handle theirs

Rambling again lol but I guess my point is its ok to bring up things to remind ppl to oay especially if they bring it up first which they generally do. "Why aren't you dancing?" Cause ur not tipping so if I feel like dancing for free thays up to me but for now I'm tired so im sitting... and how are you today is what I'd say... but even if ur super polite members have similar entitlement issues which I dont get. Especially considering I have tons of vids and oix s in the net so u could see my body without me show in show in now... but if I choose to rest its ww3

Lol but yeah no one owes any on anything unless a service is being exchanged...I agree with that and I appreciate the feel who are willing to pay

 

[Jupiter551]

No need to be so defensive lady, comically predictable but we simply see things differently. And yes, I'm positive you have met more camgirls than me, I'm more of a stripper guy.

I imagine that to an extent, some strippers might learn to exude an air of "fuck you" when they get defensive, as a way of dealing with drunk dickheads.

Then again, it's just another generalization. It could just as easily come down to the type of girls you gravitate toward, a small sample size, the way you view them through the lens of your interaction with them, and so forth.

Not everyone shares your opinion, or experience in general though.

 

[Pandora1066]

I don't want to be too harsh about this, it's just a heads up. Lately when I log on to MFC (only site I visit), I've noticed a pattern. I see a model that interests me, I open her room, watch and chat with her a little bit, and within a few minutes I lose any interest I had in tipping her. What I've realized is that it's almost always for the same reason. Ego. Attitude.

I would have thought the answer obvious; tip when you feel they deserve it. Other times be grateful it isn't costing you anything. You found a model that interests you; that sounds like a desirable circumstance to me.

Most cam models are pretty average. I'm not saying they're unattractive. But the nature of cam-girling seems to make them think they're more attractive than they actually are. Cam girls go online, and they get a lot of attention from guys, and a lot of compliments. Too many don't seem to realize that if any woman went into a grocery store and started taking her clothes off, she would get a lot of attention too. And when guys compliment you, they're doing it to be nice. There seems to be not enough appreciation of those realities.

When at work your boss says "good work. keep it going" you reply "thank you", correct? chances are you aren't thankful and you want to ask why your pay doesn't reflect the quality of work.
How do you know what the model is really thinking? is it not possible to project one thing while thinking something entirely different?

If you're a non-nude model, you should feel good because the guys who are with you are there because they like you. But it still shouldn't make you feel (or act) stuck up, like you're somehow better than the average woman who doesn't do what you do.

Nude or non-nude, when all is said and done.. its still just a job/way to earn money. Chances are they will feel good on pay day. How they truly "feel" in-between then only they know.

I've been around cam sites on and off for a while, and this seems to be something that's gotten worse over time. Cam girls act like they're owed tips because of how totally amazing and awesome they are, and when they get them, they don't appreciate them. In really severe cases, I've seen models completely fall off the map because of the "cam girl mentality".

A lot of models do indeed feel like they're owed tips but not because "of how totally amazing and awesome they are", but rather because they're doing a job and understandably want to get paid for it. Some will be deserving and some undeserving; that's for you to decide and act upon. If you've been around cam sites for a while you will know then that MFC is a much more social site and resultantly has a greater emphasis on tipping than other more formal cam-sites, which may not be your cup of tea right now.

I'm just one guy, but I'm clearly not the only one who feels this way. Lately I'm finding it harder to justify tipping cam girls, because I'm finding it harder to find ones who deserve it. :twocents-02cents:

You don't have to justify it. You should feel as good making the tip as the model receiving it. If you aren't then just hold back. MFC is a free site so you have the luxury of making this decision.

 

[CharlieCharma]

I'm going to put in my two cents. I live near a piano bar. The performers aren't paid, but make tips. I've been there on slow(me, a date, and one other couple)and fast nights(entire bar packed). On the slow night they joked with us, dropped hints about tips, and said if we had any requests to put it in the tip jar with a dollar or two. Now, yes, not everyone is going to tip them, but if I want to hear Let It Go sung by two men with beards I'm going to tip. Hell, if I enjoy the show I'm still going to tip, just less than I would if I have a request.

I've also been(am)a stripper. My view there is if you're going to sit at my stage you should tip. That's not being arrogant, that's me performing for you, but if you aren't going to give anything in return then I'm going to move on to someone who will. I enjoy my job, but at the same time, I still expect to be paid if you want me to work for you.

I've always hated the loudly complaining about not being tipped. I've been a camgirl for a short time and the amount of "show me your boobs bb," "play with yourself," etc commands without a tip I've gotten are ridiculous, so I almost understand why they would complain. When, if I point out I'd be happy to show my boobs for a tip or play with myself in private I get the comment you're saying, "you're not THAT attractive." I get it, but if you don't want to pay to play(requests, not watching) why are you on MFC instead of finding a skype buddy?