Would appreciate some advice

[Marceline]

Why bother asking for advice if you are just going to dismiss it? You've gotten actual sound advice in this thread, namely:

1. Tip more instead of sending gifts.
2. Send her this forum so she can get advice from other models if that's what she is looking for.

You outright dismissed #1 by saying she was the one who asked for gifts and you'd rather her get flowers than only 30% of what you'd spend on the site. If that's the case, why ask us what to do? You've already made up your mind what you're going to do. I suspect it's because you desperately want to be seen as a nice guy. And for #2, I have a feeling your excuse for never sending her a link to this forum would be because she doesn't speak much English, but honestly, I just don't think you'd want her reading how you've been posting about her on here for over a year now.

Anyway, it's not your job as a member to encourage/motivate her. It's nice when members are kind and supportive, obviously. But camming is her job and it's her responsibility to motivate herself and figure out ways to increase her income. And honestly, from everything you've posted about her here on this forum I'd say that camming probably isn't for her.

 

[MarieElise]

sorry for the confusion but can one user presence all the time put other users off?

depending on behavior, yes. there's a psychological principle called social loafing, it encourages it, if the member is very vocal and domineering. if you are concerned about it, make your tips invisible, and be sure not to over domineer conversation in the room. i can't say what's going on in your individual situation though.

ETA; and I'd like to point out, vixxen suggested this as a possibility. no one said that is outright happening, but it's a very fair possible scenario here. i dont see why it has to be a big thing right? just to check out a fair possibility? that's what we do here, we make suggestions, when people ask for assistance. Those suggestions are based on our huge amounts of prior combined experience. And the reality that similar situations w similar themes, often present themselves repeatedly in our rooms. Of course we could just skip straight to 2025 when Misterical makes this exact thread again, and we all say the exact same things over again ? . . . again.

 

[yummybrownfox]

i'm in a models room most evenings would this put other user off?

Only if you behave like a jerk towards other members, because you’re jealous about having to share “your girl” with other cam site members. Or if you’re one of those annoying knights or moderators who constantly speak on behalf of the model…when members ask HER a question.

If you’re not behaving like a jerk or an overly clingy member, you’re probably okay. We don’t know how you act in cam rooms, so it’s not like we can answer your question with certainty. Maybe that particular model could answer that question for you, if you’re actually concerned about that? That’s cool of you to care about whether or not your presence is hurting a model’s ability to earn.

 

[mkognitio]

depending on behavior, yes. there's a psychological principle called social loafing, it encourages it, if the member is very vocal and domineering. if you are concerned about it, make your tips invisible, and be sure not to over domineer conversation in the room. i can't say what's going on in your individual situation though.

ETA; and I'd like to point out, vixxen suggested this as a possibility. no one said that is outright happening, but it's a very fair possible scenario here. i dont see why it has to be a big thing right? just to check out a fair possibility? that's what we do here, we make suggestions, when people ask for assistance. Those suggestions are based on our huge amounts of prior combined experience. And the reality that similar situations w similar themes, often present themselves repeatedly in our rooms. Of course we could just skip straight to 2025 when Misterical makes this exact thread again, and we all say the exact same things over again ? . . . again.

maybe me being king of the room might also put others off? (I'm not all the time)

 

[MarieElise]

maybe me being king of the room might also put others off? (I'm not all the time)

I don't know what that means, to be King of the room. I'm sure it's not a big deal, if you are being polite and mannerly. Since it's an online sex work context, not a romantic, monogomous dating context. As long as you are remaining aware of, and behaving within the bounds of the correct context, thou shouldst be fine. Problems arise when members confuse and conflate the two. There are correct etiquettes, boundaries, and ways to behave for each separate situation and context. But some people get it really confused.

 

[mkognitio]

depending on behavior, yes. there's a psychological principle called social loafing, it encourages it, if the member is very vocal and domineering. if you are concerned about it, make your tips invisible, and be sure not to over domineer conversation in the room. i can't say what's going on in your individual situation though.

ETA; and I'd like to point out, vixxen suggested this as a possibility. no one said that is outright happening, but it's a very fair possible scenario here. i dont see why it has to be a big thing right? just to check out a fair possibility? that's what we do here, we make suggestions, when people ask for assistance. Those suggestions are based on our huge amounts of prior combined experience. And the reality that similar situations w similar themes, often present themselves repeatedly in our rooms. Of course we could just skip straight to 2025 when Misterical makes this exact thread again, and we all say the exact same things over again ? . . . again.

im new on this forum so not seen the other posts

 

[Vixxen81]

im new on this forum so not seen the other posts

I think it's really nice you are here, trying to learn what you can. The models who responded to misterical have been reading about this problem for his preferred model for the last year. Our responses reflect those past interactions on the forum here.

I'm glad it made you think about your own behavior. I would like to add there are many rooms, especially on Chaturbate, where members are there every single day and many of them in the same room for one model. The room has figured out how to incentivise their daily presence as a group/community.

Everyone who chats has a unique chat style and it may clash with other people's styles.

One example I can think of is this:

I am super strict about the way people talk to me. You put me down? I kick you out. You step on my long term high tippers? I kick you out. You ask too many personal questions? I kick you out.

Imagine if I suddenly allowed people to do those things for the sake of getting their tokens, even if it's 1 token, everyone who knows and loves me would quickly jump ship.

Models need to be confident enough to risk losing tokens in favor of fostering the atmosphere they desire. If any one singular person seems to be in control of it instead of the model, it can seem atypical to the normalcy of the site itself, so questions start to raise in the viewer's mind and instead of asking they just leave.

Edit: It also seems she's on one of the lowest traffic sites out there with a low payout with either an inability to move or a lack of desire to move to another higher traffic site.

 

[darcyduke]

I've never asked for a single free thing in all the time I've been there. Nor would she even contemplate giving me anything for free.

You are taking her time!

 

[Deleted member 1828]

When I told members I was taking a day off and it had been slow what I wanted desperately was funds to cover that time off, not flowers or kind words

I couldn't agree with you more. I'm like flowers are nice but I can't pay bills with flowers. Camming is my job and how I support my self its not a hobby to talk to friends

 

[AussieCosplay]

Gifts are great when things are going well but as others have mentioned...they don't pay the bills.

Now paying a bill for her as a gift, that's awesomesauce.

At the end of the day it's her job and her mental health...not yours.

Visit, tip, have fun, and be part of her community.

Don't make yourself responsible for someone elses emotions.

Just be a good friend, listen and support, but don't anguish and overthink.

 

[Vixxen81]

I'll add don't bring it up. Every single time someone says, gosh it's slow in here or how can we jump start the room I want to log off and metaphorically kill myself. It's soul crushing when a viewer points anything like that out. If I'm deep in my feels and bring it up, don't reinforce it. Just say here have some coins and (on Chaturbate) do something to change the thumb nail.

And never ever ever ever ever ever say there should be more people viewing you, you're so awesome.

 

[mkognitio]

I'll add don't bring it up. Every single time someone says, gosh it's slow in here or how can we jump start the room I want to log off and metaphorically kill myself. It's soul crushing when a viewer points anything like that out. If I'm deep in my feels and bring it up, don't reinforce it. Just say here have some coins and (on Chaturbate) do something to change the thumb nail.

And never ever ever ever ever ever say there should be more people viewing you, you're so awesome

 

[mkognitio]

And never ever ever ever ever ever say there should be more people viewing you, you're so awesome

Noted

 

[Wuggie]

I'll add don't bring it up. Every single time someone says, gosh it's slow in here or how can we jump start the room I want to log off and metaphorically kill myself. It's soul crushing when a viewer points anything like that out. If I'm deep in my feels and bring it up, don't reinforce it. Just say here have some coins and (on Chaturbate) do something to change the thumb nail.

And never ever ever ever ever ever say there should be more people viewing you, you're so awesome.

I have never understood this exact thing!! why would you bring it up! do they not think models realize this shit!? the best thing you can do at that point, is chat in public and tip!! I have found it SO many times that when I start to tip, others also start tipping.. it's almost every time..

 

[Vixxen81]

I have never understood this exact thing!! why would you bring it up! do they not think models realize this shit!? the best thing you can do at that point, is chat in public and tip!! I have found it SO many times that when I start to tip, others also start tipping.. it's almost every time..

Exactly!! We are well aware of the state of our rooms (and bank accounts). Just tip and compliment something, anything you see on screen.

I think sometimes it's pure thoughtlessness, an attempt at small talk, but it is such a mood killer.

 

[Ozzie_]

I have never understood this exact thing!! why would you bring it up! do they not think models realize this shit!? the best thing you can do at that point, is chat in public and tip!!

I actually think it is perfectly natural, (see what Vixxen said) like walking into a retail establishment and saying "Gee it's a bit slow today" (something that happens regularly where i work, even if it is just a minor lull throughout the day and we are actually exhausted from dealing with a previous major rush in customers.)

Exactly!! We are well aware of the state of our rooms (and bank accounts). Just tip and compliment something, anything you see on screen.

I think sometimes it's pure thoughtlessness, an attempt at small talk, but it is such a mood killer.

This is it I think. I doubt that it is anything malicious.

I mean, if you are with a group of friends and some are having a hard time of something, I think it is natural to mention/discuss the issue or at least to offer words of encouragement.

However, I agree entirely that it is not a good thing to do in a cam-room. And all users should be aware of what you, and other models have said on the issue.

 

[MarieElise]

Not a stupid thing to observe and think, but, yes, a stupid thing to open your mouth and say.
A retail establishment and a cam room are very different environments.
So I think it takes a real crass, dopey personality to open their mouth and feel that, that is a polite or helpful thing to observe, given the context.

I know I'm on the harsher end of room running, but when people say stupid shit like that right off the bat, I immediately know they are going to be a problem for me long-term. Because they are probably going to say other irritating and thoughtless comments constantly, turning me off and making me feel like I'm dealing with Yogi fucking bear on a "sexy" date night. So I often kick, block, or say something rude, so they'll go away and not come back. We do get to chose who we associate with and who we are sexual with, regardless of money being exchanged.

Think it, don't say it.
Remember the viewer is supposed to be trying to be sexy too. Paying doesn't mean you can completely drop all end of work on your side, like these guys that masturbate on toilets, and expect us to be turned on ?

 

[Vixxen81]

Not a stupid thing to observe and think, but, yes, a stupid thing to open your mouth and say.
A retail establishment and a cam room are very different environments.
So I think it takes a real crass, dopey personality to open their mouth and feel that, that is a polite or helpful thing to observe, given the context.

I know I'm on the harsher end of room running, but when people say stupid shit like that right off the bat, I immediately know they are going to be a problem for me long-term. Because they are probably going to say other irritating and thoughtless comments constantly. So I often kick, block, or say something rude, so they'll go away and not come back. We do get to chose who we associate with and who we are sexual with, regardless of money being exchanged.

Think it, don't say it.
Remember the viewer is supposed to be trying to be sexy too. Paying doesn't mean you can completely drop all end of work on your side, like these guys that masturbate on toilets, and expect us to be turned on ?

I'm with you here. If it's a brand new to me person and I'm feeling generous I'll tell them how I feel about it. Regulars don't mention it at all and have seen me go mean girl about it.

I also think to myself here's a guy looking to neg me into accepting his shitty takes on life and camming and soon the Captain Saveaho starts appearing. It's a very good indicator of future behavior.

And as Ozzie said some of those calmer times are between big privates or I just logged on for the day. On Chaturbate it can take hours to get a room going. Don't shoot me in the foot before I even put my purse down.

 

[MarieElise]

I also think to myself here's a guy looking to neg me

Exactly. Best case scenario we got a case of verbally clumsy/ mentally/ socially lazy or tired Oaf. Worst case they are purposefully goading us.
I have a hard time with how careless, thoughtless and lazy a lot of people are, so I'm the cynical type that's going to assume negging right off the bat, and go evil on you right away for that.
But then there's Hanlon's motherfucking razor again.

I should write it on a post-it and put it on the top of my screen.
My goal is to do the least amount of acting possible when I'm online, so the other side needs to keep up their part too, or I get free license to act and fake away.
And if anyone reads this, who is planning to do a C2C later with Xmas socks on (and the cam pointed at their cock from above) - don't. Just don't. Thank you.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Because they are probably going to say other irritating and thoughtless comments constantly, turning me off and making me feel like I'm dealing with Yogi fucking bear on a "sexy" date night. So I often kick, block, or say something rude,

Think it, don't say it.
Remember the viewer is supposed to be trying to be sexy too. Paying doesn't mean you can completely drop all end of work on your side, like these guys that masturbate on toilets, and expect us to be turned on ?

Yogi Bear on a sexy date night (“Heyyy, Boo-Boo!” ? ).

Masturbating on toilets. Ewww! Lmfao. Marie, you’re gonna make me choke on my tomato & basil wheat thins.

 

[Vixxen81]

Exactly. Best case scenario we got a case of verbally clumsy/ mentally/ socially lazy or tired Oaf. Worst case they are purposefully goading us.
I have a hard time with how careless, thoughtless and lazy a lot of people are, so I'm the cynical type that's going to assume negging right off the bat, and go evil on you right away for that.
But then there's Hanlon's motherfucking razor again.

I should write it on a post-it and put it on the top of my screen.
My goal is to do the least amount of acting possible when I'm online, so the other side needs to keep up their part too, or I get free license to act and fake away.
And if anyone reads this who is planning to do a C2C later with Xmas socks on (and the cam pointed at their cock from above) - don't. Just don't. Thank you.

You can't see me but I am emphatically nodding my head. ? I think my harshest response so far was, "and you don't have any tokens so looks like you're pretty fucking useless to me."

 

[Lilly_____]

Marie, you’re gonna make me choke on my tomato & basil wheat thins.

The way yummy ALWAYS makes me hungry regardless of the topic though ?

 

[Vixxen81]

Yogi Bear on a sexy date night (“Heyyy, Boo-Boo!” ? ).

Masturbating on toilets. Ewww! Lmfao. Marie, you’re gonna make me choke on my tomato & basil wheat thins.

OOOH LOVE THE NEW AVATAR!!!

 

[yummybrownfox]

OOOH LOVE THE NEW AVATAR!!!

Thank you!!!

 

[AussieCosplay]

Not a stupid thing to observe and think, but, yes, a stupid thing to open your mouth and say.
A retail establishment and a cam room are very different environments.
So I think it takes a real crass, dopey personality to open their mouth and feel that, that is a polite or helpful thing to observe, given the context.

I know I'm on the harsher end of room running, but when people say stupid shit like that right off the bat, I immediately know they are going to be a problem for me long-term. Because they are probably going to say other irritating and thoughtless comments constantly, turning me off and making me feel like I'm dealing with Yogi fucking bear on a "sexy" date night. So I often kick, block, or say something rude, so they'll go away and not come back. We do get to chose who we associate with and who we are sexual with, regardless of money being exchanged.

Think it, don't say it.
Remember the viewer is supposed to be trying to be sexy too. Paying doesn't mean you can completely drop all end of work on your side, like these guys that masturbate on toilets, and expect us to be turned on ?

Off topic but...
Yesterday I had my first ever c2c where he actually walked over to the toilet mid wank so he could finish into it.
I didn't even know what to do...like...my dude...it looked like you just peed cum!
Grab some TP or a towel if ppl are watching.

 

[misterical]

Off topic but...
Yesterday I had my first ever c2c where he actually walked over to the toilet mid wank so he could finish into it.
I didn't even know what to do...like...my dude...it looked like you just peed cum!
Grab some TP or a towel if ppl are watching.

This is a direct result of the decline in the white sports sock market since the late 1980s.

 

[MarieElise]

Off topic but...
Yesterday I had my first ever c2c where he actually walked over to the toilet mid wank so he could finish into it.
I didn't even know what to do...like...my dude...it looked like you just peed cum!
Grab some TP or a towel if ppl are watching.

I do a ton of c2c and a lot of them do that. It’s ve gotten to the point where I’m just glad that 95% of the time the toilet pan is empty, because one time it wasn’t. Like at least flush what you were doing before ?‍ I find it off putting. A lot of them sit there on it jerking too. It's like; why did you even bother to put c2c on? Could have just left it off.

 

[Hiunds]

And if anyone reads this, who is planning to do a C2C later with Xmas socks on (and the cam pointed at their cock from above) - don't. Just don't. Thank you.

But these are cool, right?

 

[MarieElise]

But these are cool, right?

View attachment 98318

fuck off @Hiunds ?

 

[Deleted member 1828]

Off topic but...
Yesterday I had my first ever c2c where he actually walked over to the toilet mid wank so he could finish into it.
I didn't even know what to do...like...my dude...it looked like you just peed cum!
Grab some TP or a towel if ppl are watching.

I hate when I turn on a cam and there jerkimg over a toilet. I'm just like I'm sorry this isn't worth the money to stare at your dirty toilet. I've had guys get mad n be like we'll I'm paying or I needed privacy. Its like your nasty n no way I can even pretend to be sexy staring at your toilet