Why are female condoms unpopular?

[Guy]

Why are female condoms unpopular?

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Solid question and I love your energy and curiosity for everything but maybe we can get you your own thread and you can ask and have others help there. I'll help on questions you have that aren't really only able to be answered by women. Maybe I'm being a dick here with this idea and my bad if so.

 

[JickyJuly]

This is a pretty interesting question. My theories would include:
1. Women who are sexually active and thinking about proper precautions are more likely to already have a birth control method other than barrier and expect their partner to do their part by using the barrier.

2. Design? I'm embarrassed to say that I've never used a female condom. But, it seems like male genitals are easier to cover. And, I am pretty sure that using a condom on both partners would be more of a problem.

3. Stigma. A weird amount of women already don't buy condoms. Marketing items that are used in sex with a partner to women is hard. I mean, there are women who are douching and vajazzling and doing who knows what to try to make things pretty, but refuse to use the proper terms for their parts, see doctors as needed or speak openly about masturbation or sex. A mess.

 

[Guy]

This is a pretty interesting question. My theories would include:
1. Women who are sexually active and thinking about proper precautions are more likely to already have a birth control method other than barrier and expect their partner to do their part by using the barrier.

2. Design? I'm embarrassed to say that I've never used a female condom. But, it seems like male genitals are easier to cover. And, I am pretty sure that using a condom on both partners would be more of a problem.

3. Stigma. A weird amount of women already don't buy condoms. Marketing items that are used in sex with a partner to women is hard. I mean, there are women who are douching and vajazzling and doing who knows what to try to make things pretty, but refuse to use the proper terms for their parts, see doctors as needed or speak openly about masturbation or sex. A mess.

http://www.fc2femalecondom.com/

 

[NoelleBright]

Well, for one they are really inconvenient. Since the barrier is inside of the woman her own natural lubrication can't be used for sex. That means that in addition to the female condom, a woman would also need to carry around a bottle of lube with her. That compiled with the fact that, like Jicky said, most women already use some hormonal form of birth control makes the female condom REALLY unappealing. I can deal with birth control and male condoms, but if I had to carry around female condoms AND a bottle of lube? NOPE. Much less sex would be had.
Also, the design is horrible. The outside of them is shaped so that the entire vulva is basically covered. Most women need some sort of clitoral stimulation in order to cum and the female condom basically prohibits that from happening.

AND they're ugly. A dick with a condom on it still looks like a dick. A vagina with a female condom in it looks like a little rubber butthole.

 

[AmberCutie]

Solid question and I love your energy and curiosity for everything but maybe we can get you your own thread and you can ask and have others help there. I'll help on questions you have that aren't really only able to be answered by women. Maybe I'm being a dick here with this idea and my bad if so.

I think it's ok to have separate threads for the different questions. If people are inspired to discuss it, it'll make it easier to follow if the topics all have their own place for that discussion, rather than one thread for a "Guy asks lots of questions" subject. I appreciate that @Guy puts them in the appropriate sub-forums too!

You're not being a dick with your suggestion, no worries. But I think we're ok for now with his current activity.

This is a pretty interesting question. My theories would include:
1. Women who are sexually active and thinking about proper precautions are more likely to already have a birth control method other than barrier and expect their partner to do their part by using the barrier.

2. Design? I'm embarrassed to say that I've never used a female condom. But, it seems like male genitals are easier to cover. And, I am pretty sure that using a condom on both partners would be more of a problem.

This would be my answer, too.

 

[Serenity_Tam]

In addition to what Jicky said they simply aren't readily and easily available. I have actually dated ladies who don't even know it's a thing. When you don't know it exsists how are you going to use it.

 

[Rose]

Do you know how hard it is to find female condoms? Let alone buy them?

Like around here you can prance into nearly any shop and get standard condoms willy nilly, but good luck findig female condoms! Shit, you can't even find spermicide, sponges, diaphragms, or any of that unless you have a prescription.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I'm far from an expert on female contraception, but I reckon the answer to your question is multi-faceted.

Ease of use - Condoms are easy to use and can be put on by either the guy or the woman at a moment's notice. Femidoms... they look kinda complicated (though I might just be being naïve). And restrictive. And not something you can just shove in there if the mood suddenly strikes.

Availability - You can pick up a pack of condom from pretty much any chemist, supermarket, corner shop, or public toilet in the country. I don't think the same is true of female condoms.

Functionality - Like others have pointed out, femidoms tend to restrict things like clitoral stimulation, which women are said to enjoy almost as much as when the dood just single-mindedly jackhammers away until he cums and then pulls out and has a nap. Allegedly.

Convention - Rightly or wrongly, it's pretty much a sexual convention. Women take the pill, men rubber up.

Aesthetics - Men tend to be more visually stimulated than women. A woman probably isn't going to be turned off by a condom-covered penis, whereas men might be a little more bothered by the appearance of a large rubber ring protruding from a vagina.

Effectiveness - I remember reading that condoms have a lower failure rate than femidoms, partially because the former are easier to use and therefore are used correctly more often.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

I think it's ok to have separate threads for the different questions. If people are inspired to discuss it, it'll make it easier to follow if the topics all have their own place for that discussion, rather than one thread for a "Guy asks lots of questions" subject. I appreciate that @Guy puts them in the appropriate sub-forums too!

You're not being a dick with your suggestion, no worries. But I think we're ok for now with his current activity.


This would be my answer, too.

I'm enjoying reading the answers, and it is nice to have them separate threads, rather than Guy's "unusual sex questions for woman". Being the wrong sex I have nothing to add to the content.

 

[Guy]

Do you know how hard it is to find female condoms? Let alone buy them?

Like around here you can prance into nearly any shop and get standard condoms willy nilly, but good luck findig female condoms! Shit, you can't even find spermicide, sponges, diaphragms, or any of that unless you have a prescription.

They have female condoms at Planned Parenthood centers

 

[Serenity_Tam]

They have female condoms at Planned Parenthood centers

For canadians that's not a thing. Also, from what I have heard those places aren't everywhere in the USA so it adds to the idea they aren't readily available for women.

I believe female condoms and dental dams and such are likely most used by gay women ... and as a gay woman the only place I have ever seen them is online. It's not particularly convenient... like hay girl just lay back because i'm going to give you the night of your life, you just gotta wait 7 - 10 business days while I go buy these things.

 

[NoelleBright]

They have female condoms at Planned Parenthood centers

Planned parenthoods are few and far between, though. Some states only have one or two, and good luck with those because in order to do anything there you need an appointment. Last time I had to go to one I was there for 6 hours, I didn't even need an exam I just needed to update my birth control prescription. A 6+ hour wait just for the doctor to renew the prescription for me she already had on file and take my blood pressure. Noooo thanks. I imagine you can't just walk into one without and an appointment and say "yo I just need some condoms".
Compared to drugstores that are on every corner where you can get male condoms, no one is going to want to drive across their state to get a female condom from planned parenthood.

 

[MaddyLuxx]

I've never had the pleasure of owning a non-fake dick, but I imagine it would feel better to dick-havers to fuck (or, if we're feeling romantic, make sweet sweet love to) a girl who selected an alternate form of birth control.

Plus, and this is the big reason for me: they're less effective at preventing pregnancy than other forms of birth control. As a casual sex fan, I always felt that heyyyy! I pay a copayment every 3 months to keep you from being a Surprise Dad, the least you could do is drop a few bucks for some condoms to keep me from becoming a Surprise Clap girl.

Real talk: female condoms aren't as easy to obtain or use correctly as alternate forms of bc. Same as diaphragms or spermicide-soaked sponges. Do some use them and swear by them? I'm sure they're out there, but they aren't the majority. I remember OP saying he was a virgin, so I want you to read these words and really hear them: the responsibility for safe sex lies with both partners. As a male, your choices are really limited and I'm sorry about that, but if you want to have safe sex you should always come prepared. With condoms. For yourself.

Now get out there and have some fun! But at least buy her a taco or an exotic bird first, chivalry isn't dead.

 

[Rose]

They have female condoms at Planned Parenthood centers

The closest Planned Parenthood to me is over 2 hours away, only open on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 8am till noon....... They also don't take you if you have certain insirance, so if you can get over the schedule hurdle then your only chance of getting in is pretty much if you have no insurance.

In this state, they don't even carry female condoms at sex shops. Your only bet of finding them within an hour drive of here is if you order them online.

 

[SaffronBurke]

The only time I've handled one was when it was one of the goodies that got thrown at me at a gay pride parade. I come home from those with sooo many balloons - I mean condoms.

Well, my sister was going through my goodie bag looking for condoms to blow up (like minds, eh?), and decided to try blowing up the female condom.

Honestly, it doesn't look very easy to use. There's this ring in the bottom that you have to get placed correctly, which can be difficult. And they seem like they'd be far too likely to shift around during use, maybe even slip inside, and it would be way too easily to accidentally cum outside of it and on the person's vag. They also don't seem to be something that would feel great in use. They're much thicker than regular condoms, so the woman wouldn't feel much, and the guy would just feel like he's fucking a rubber tube.

Also, it didn't really inflate. Not very stretchy. Disappointing.

And that availability, it's a kicker. I seem to live in a weird place, I have six Planned Parenthood's in my city and nearby suburbs. But we're kinda progressive here. A lot of the Midwest and the Bible Belt think that Planned Parenthood is TEH SUPREME EVILLLLLL because one of the many services they offer is abortions. But, despite having gone to Planned Parenthood for my birth control for years, they never mentioned female condoms to me. They always automatically give me a bunch of condoms and ask if I need dental dams, but they never mention female condoms.


Important things to know about male condoms:

Most condom breakage is caused by mishandling and/or using the wrong condom, so keep the following in mind:

Every brand has a slightly different diameter, which is an important aspect when it comes to comfort. I have a candy dish with all of the (non-expired) condoms I have acquired throughout the years. There are five brands in there, and when I held them up to each other and matched them up inside their packets to compare, they vary by a couple millimeters, even though they all are "standard" size.

Store them properly! If exposed to extreme heat or cold, they can become brittle and break. Don't keep them in your wallet or pocket for an extended period of time, as your body heat is enough to do it.

They expire! Each condom has the expiration printed on the package. Once one is within a couple months of the expiration date, I take it out of my candy dish and put it in my "definitely a balloon" change purse. I then either blow them up as balloons, let other people blow them up, or use them as props in clips. (which reminds me, I have several expired ones right now, I should film something with them)

Be aware of lubricant compatibility. Water-based and silicone-based lubes, or water/silicone hybrid - awesome! Some people prefer silicone lube because it stays slippery longer, while others prefer water-based because it feels more natural. NEVER use lotion, oil, or petroleum jelly (vaseline) as lube, as they will break down the condom and can cause breakage. And don't ever use lotion or petroleum jelly as lube with a vagina, it can cause yeast infections, which aren't fun to have or try to get rid of.

 

[Worship Jaclyn]

I for one have to feel sexy to feel horny. Its something that feeds off itself. Female condoms aren't used as often so women might feel less confident/sexy using them so then they use them even less often.

I'm 27 and saw my first female condom a week ago in a Planned Parenthood actually. I see condoms every time I'm in a gas station or a grocery store so learning to use something new just seems unnecessary. Oh and yeah Planned Parenthoods often have protests around them where I am, at least there's a decent risk that's what you are walking through so yeah, a silly thing to face when you could just pick up condoms when you're buying groceries.

 

[NerdieBirdie]

I'm sure this is a very unpopular opinion here, and I do not recommend it for others unless they feel it is right for them, but my partner and I haven't used any condoms in 2+ years. Sex with a condom and without a condom are two totally different ballparks. And the male condom is the less-bulky, thinner choice. I can't even imagine what a female condom must feel like. The aesthetics of it seems like it would ruin sex for me as far as lubrication, general sexiness, etc. are concerned. It is also something that is not really brought up in school or college for that matter. (I went to MPS so we didn't really get sex ed with male condoms but they were at least mentioned as existing at some point.)

 

[Albert_1]

The patriarchy is keeping them down because they're female.

 

[SNATCH]

I've tried several times to get them up my cooch, && I literally CANNOT do it. I think my twat is too small for them. Same with the cups for periods. I just can't do it. =/ Too much hassle too, because the few times I did, I spent like 45 minutes in the bathroom... Not so sexy, lol.

 

[Guy]

I've tried several times to get them up my cooch, && I literally CANNOT do it. I think my twat is too small for them. Same with the cups for periods. I just can't do it. =/ Too much hassle too, because the few times I did, I spent like 45 minutes in the bathroom... Not so sexy, lol.

then why do female condoms even exist?

 

[SNATCH]

then why do female condoms even exist?

I'm sure some women use them, && I think most women can fit them in there. I was talking about MY personal experiences with them...? But I feel like the idea was invented by a guy, && if they worked better, it would be a lot better, but I think in general, most women don't want to screw around with them. They also don't seem to be comfortable. My other worry is how well do they stay in place? I think it's easier to just have men put a condom on. Cheaper too.

 

[caireen]

I think they are also relatively expensive too.. like $3-5 each.. as opposed to what, like $0.30-$1 for male condoms?

But I would guess a lot of it has to with the fact that they just aren't as available. I've never seen them being handed out for free (I'm Canadian so I've never been to PP), whereas I have seen male condoms for free in universities, some doctors offices, youth centers, womens centers, shelters, womens clinics..

 

[Rose]

A quick search for "female condoms" on Amazon shows the first option, a 3 pack sold by Amazon with prime shipping, is $8.99.....

Scroll down the page and half the of the results are for menstrual cups or regular condoms.

A search for "condoms" on Amazon shows the first option as a 36 pack sold by Amazon with prime shipping is $11.96.

I'd say that pretty much answers any other questions about female condoms. Fucking patriarchy at its finest, lol.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I'm sure this is a very unpopular opinion here, and I do not recommend it for others unless they feel it is right for them, but my partner and I haven't used any condoms in 2+ years. Sex with a condom and without a condom are two totally different ballparks. And the male condom is the less-bulky, thinner choice. I can't even imagine what a female condom must feel like. The aesthetics of it seems like it would ruin sex for me as far as lubrication, general sexiness, etc. are concerned. It is also something that is not really brought up in school or college for that matter. (I went to MPS so we didn't really get sex ed with male condoms but they were at least mentioned as existing at some point.)

I agree that sex without a condom is vastly superior to sex with a condom (for both parties, I have to assume). I do think it's important to know when to use one though, which for me would be any time I'm having sex with someone who I haven't known exceptionally well for a long time. Having unprotected sex whilst in a committed relationship with a partner you trust is a million miles away from having unprotected sex with someone you've met in a club or online or you've only known for a short time (not that you were even implying they were the same thing or anything).

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I agree that sex without a condom is vastly superior to sex with a condom (for both parties, I have to assume).

My complaint about condoms in general is psychological. If there is little chance for an unplanned pregnancy, it kind of diminishes the experience for me.

 

[SaffronBurke]

then why do female condoms even exist?

I'm guessing that the inventor for some reason thought that they were a better idea. A few speculations on why:

1. As someone with a vagina is more likely to get pregnant, and also more likely to become infected with a disease, we are the ones who are most likely to think about contraception and want to have it on hand. Why we can't just supply our own standard condoms, in that case, leads me to the next point.

2. A sizeable amount of guys whine, complain, and generally do anything to get out of putting a condom on. They complain that they're too tight - well, get bigger ones! They come in different sizes for a reason. They take away from the sensation - so do unwanted babies and STI'S. Get one of the styles that's supposed to give you more sensation.

However, even as a person fond of casual sex, I haven't had a problem. I keep a candy dish of condoms in a strategic location on my bedside table, and when it's time for one to go on, I pointedly move the dish to draw the guy's attention to it, and he puts one on. I've never had anyone argue about it in person. If someone I'm chatting to about potentially hooking up complains, I end the conversation.

 

[weirdbr]

They complain that they're too tight - well, get bigger ones! They come in different sizes for a reason.

Easy way to silence those people - show them how you can fit your whole hand and forearm (or their head) on a condom.

I'd say that pretty much answers any other questions about female condoms. Fucking patriarchy at its finest, lol.

Nah, that's just market forces in play: traditional condoms sell a lot more than female condoms, there's a lot more competition in the market, which leads to more R&D into improvements and/or to drive manufacturing costs down...

And why don't they sell more? Because of the access issue everyone else has mentioned. Maybe if manufacturers had deep pockets, they could 'buy' the right to sell female condoms on the same machines that sell male condoms, but that would require a lot of cash to retrofit those machines to deal with the larger packages. Or maybe if someone with really deep pockets funded this type of change (like Warren Buffet's foundation is doing to facilitate access to IUDs).

 

[Rose]

Easy way to silence those people - show them how you can fit your whole hand and forearm (or their head) on a condom.



Nah, that's just market forces in play: traditional condoms sell a lot more than female condoms, there's a lot more competition in the market, which leads to more R&D into improvements and/or to drive manufacturing costs down...

And why don't they sell more? Because of the access issue everyone else has mentioned. Maybe if manufacturers had deep pockets, they could 'buy' the right to sell female condoms on the same machines that sell male condoms, but that would require a lot of cash to retrofit those machines to deal with the larger packages. Or maybe if someone with really deep pockets funded this type of change (like Warren Buffet's foundation is doing to facilitate access to IUDs).

I was being silly........

 

[Guy]

A quick search for "female condoms" on Amazon shows the first option, a 3 pack sold by Amazon with prime shipping, is $8.99.....

Scroll down the page and half the of the results are for menstrual cups or regular condoms.

A search for "condoms" on Amazon shows the first option as a 36 pack sold by Amazon with prime shipping is $11.96.

I'd say that pretty much answers any other questions about female condoms. Fucking patriarchy at its finest, lol.

My complaint about condoms in general is psychological. If there is little chance for an unplanned pregnancy, it kind of diminishes the experience for me.

Do you have kids?