AmberCutie's Forum
An adult community for cam models and members to discuss all the things!

When poaching is actually effective...

  • ** WARNING - ACF CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT **
    Only persons aged 18 or over may read or post to the forums, without regard to whether an adult actually owns the registration or parental/guardian permission. AmberCutie's Forum (ACF) is for use by adults only and contains adult content. By continuing to use this site you are confirming that you are at least 18 years of age.
Status
Not open for further replies.
Mar 27, 2015
4
13
0
So I'm posting this on behalf of one of my model friends that I am concerned about. I'm an ACF model and I'm using another account for the sake of avoiding unnecessary drama.

In short, Model #1 is a well established camgirl, but not a top 100 regular or anything, and camming is the best way she's found to pay her bills. She is incredibly nice, and when another camgirl started frequenting her room on a premium account, she let it slide because this model wasn't doing very well and had a very low camscore. But over time Model #2 has made it really obvious in chat that not only is she a girl, but that she is a model as well, and specifically which model. At this point she is poaching members, whether or not this is her intention. It's not in the typical, "CUM to my room to see me naked! juicyjulie123!" sort of poaching, but more in the way that she's trying to share the stage with someone more successful. At least that's how it comes off.

I don't know Model #2 very well at all, and I can only really give my opinion on what I have seen going on in the chatroom, and it's not entirely positive. Model #2 spends a great deal of time in this chat room, posts and tips for attention, and PMs and cams one on one with the regulars of my friend while said friend is broadcasting. On top of that, Model #2 frequently goes online right when my friend has logged off. My friend has been stressing over some bad camming days only to find out later through Twitter that her regulars tipped this other model really well. Really I don't blame her for being frustrated

Personally I would have nipped this situation in the bud if this happened to me, but clearly my friend is a nicer person, and what's done is done. It's all about figuring out how to fix the situation for what it is now. The problem is, if she bans this model, she risks losing some of her regulars should they choose sides, so that's not really an option. However, boundaries most certainly need to be laid, neither of us really know what those boundaries should be exactly considering the situation, and likewise how to implement them.

Hearing the opinions of both members and models regarding this would be appreciated, I've never had to deal with this situation myself, so I don't quite have the right advice for her.
 
SunnySideUp said:
Hearing the opinions of both members and models regarding this would be appreciated, I've never had to deal with this situation myself, so I don't quite have the right advice for her.
 

Attachments

  • barney20fife.jpg
    barney20fife.jpg
    23 KB · Views: 790
SunnySideUp said:
On top of that, Model #2 frequently goes online right when my friend has logged off. My friend has been stressing over some bad camming days only to find out later through Twitter that her regulars tipped this other model really well. Really I don't blame her for being frustrated
Model #1 should not allow herself to be fretting over who her regulars tip when she is not online. If this is the kind of thing that bothers her, she may need to re-examine her own boundaries. She may be concerning herself with things that are not only out of her control, but also none of her business.

SunnySideUp said:
The problem is, if she bans this model, she risks losing some of her regulars should they choose sides, so that's not really an option.
The problem is, this is affecting her business. Politely ban and get back to work. Rise above pettiness.

.02
 
justjoinedtopost said:
Politely ban and get back to work. Rise above pettiness.

I was about to say the same thing.

Ultimately, it's her room. That other model has her own room. If members want to spend time with Model #2, they can, when she's in her own room. If Model #2 can't be respectful in Model #1's room, Model #1 isn't obliged to let her in, and if a few members leave as a result, that's fine. The members who've been put off by this other model's presence will stay.
 
Kicking her out is an option, the only option in my opinion. She allowed this to happen by not taking care of it sooner so sadly she is just going to have to just do something about it now. I don't see another way out. She wants to avoid losing members but talking to this other model and setting boundaries could easily do this as well. I would imagine that just as many, if not more, tipping members would be understanding of her no longer allowing other models in. She doesn't have to make a big deal out of it just "I've decided not to have other models in my room anymore" and ignore people who question it. It's her room. Taking charge of your own room is Camgirl rule number one.
 
Why doesn't model #1 not just be honest with model #2 and tell her how she feels? People will only to you what you allow. I think that model #1 should respectfully tell model #2 what kind of behavior is ok with her and what is not while model # 2 is visiting in her chat room. Because if she's been accepting this kind of behavior from her all this time without ever telling model #2 that she's not cool with it, she really might not think that she's been doing anything to offend her.

The members who would leave would most likely be those who already aren't tipping her anymore. Good riddance to them.
That's just what I was thinking too.
 
It's so incredibly awkward when you realize this has been happening for months right under your nose. Then suddenly everything makes sense, but it's too late. It's unfortunate, but this sort of thing happens pretty frequently.

I'm not sure if girls like model #2 realize what they're doing right from the get-go, or if it just happens to start working, then they roll with it and try to play innocent when it becomes obvious.
 
I keep my room open to models a lot and have had to deal with situations like this before.
I think the model is 100% within her rights to ban and block, but it can create drama with members even if we'd like to think it doesn't. If the model is completely emeshed into the room culture, sometimes a public statement on social media that says "models are welcome but I expect them to act like members, not models, and be focused on me - not pming etc when they visit" or some such... can help your members understand where you're coming from.


A strong, firm email is my first step. Something along these lines
"name"

I wanted to send you a message to go over a few things about the behaviour i expect in my room. I want you to know I appreciate your friendship, and the support you've given me. That said, it seems like we may have a different set of standards about what is OK in my room.

When you are in my room I expect you to

- Not be on your camera or broadcasting with members
- Not draw attention to the fact that you're a model
- Not pm other members you've met through my room
- etc etc...


You're welcome to continue visiting, but if you would like to these behaviours I've noticed over time will need to change immediately. If members ask why your behaviour is changing just let them know that you're trying to be respectful of my wishes.

I hope you can understand that I'm doing this to set my boundries where I am comfortable. If you're unable to do this, then we'll need to stay in touch without you being present as a part of my cam room.

Thanks,
-Name


If they say they understand, but the behaviour continues I immediately ban. But there are some situations ..rarely where it simply comes down to a miscommunication about boundries... or the model hasn't been given the chance to examine her behaviour and how its affecting you/your work. Sometimes I'll ask how they'd feel if I did these things in their room..
 
I think perhaps I view this slightly differently than most here. I don't see that Model 2 has done too much wrong. Model 1 let another model frequent her room and over time, some of her members decided that they liked that model (maybe even more than they liked Model 1) and so started visiting her room and tipping her. Now Model 1 is upset because Model 2 is being tipped by "her" members and she's losing potential income.

Members are ultimately free to tip and visit whoever they want, when they want, for any reason they want. They don't belong to any one model. I can see why Model 1 might be upset that some of her members are choosing another model to spend their money and time on/with - especially seeing as she's responsible for those members finding that model to begin with - but that's part and parcel of camming, is it not? If it's something that Model 1 finds particularly difficult in accepting, then she always has the freedom to ban models from her room altogether, or at the very least lay down some ground rules :twocents-02cents:
 
mynameisbob84 said:
I think perhaps I view this slightly differently than most here. I don't see that Model 2 has done too much wrong. Model 1 let another model frequent her room and over time, some of her members decided that they liked that model (maybe even more than they liked Model 1) and so started visiting her room and tipping her. Now Model 1 is upset because Model 2 is being tipped by "her" members and she's losing potential income.

Members are ultimately free to tip and visit whoever they want, when they want, for any reason they want. They don't belong to any one model. I can see why Model 1 might be upset that some of her members are choosing another model to spend their money and time on/with - especially seeing as she's responsible for those members finding that model to begin with - but that's part and parcel of camming, is it not? If it's something that Model 1 finds particularly difficult in accepting, then she always has the freedom to ban models from her room altogether, or at the very least lay down some ground rules :twocents-02cents:
To explain a bit more...

No one is saying its not ok for members to visit the other model - its when the other model is *actively* using the models room to *actively* distract or pursue members... she's using it for advertising. And that's not ok.

It's like you have two stores selling competing products side by side on a street. both shopkeepers are friends and regularly visit each others stores, chat to customers etc. That's cool. But when store #1 is visiting store #2 he shouldn't be handing out free samples from his store, talking it up, or privately drawing customers away from their purchases. Wouldn't you think that'd be rude behaviour?

My model friends and I frequently find that our regs move around.. one week x is spending time in my room - then he finds model y through my tweets etc and a video he got of us together and goes to visit her and likes her and tips her etc. that's NORMAL..and while some jealous feelings are ok, its not really something anyone did wrong. But when you're using someones room to actively seek out connections with members as a model, not to socialize as a member.. thats uncool
 
Miss_Lollipop said:
I keep my room open to models a lot and have had to deal with situations like this before.
I think the model is 100% within her rights to ban and block, but it can create drama with members even if we'd like to think it doesn't. If the model is completely emeshed into the room culture, sometimes a public statement on social media that says "models are welcome but I expect them to act like members, not models, and be focused on me - not pming etc when they visit" or some such... can help your members understand where you're coming from.


A strong, firm email is my first step. Something along these lines
"name"

I wanted to send you a message to go over a few things about the behaviour i expect in my room. I want you to know I appreciate your friendship, and the support you've given me. That said, it seems like we may have a different set of standards about what is OK in my room.

When you are in my room I expect you to

- Not be on your camera or broadcasting with members
- Not draw attention to the fact that you're a model
- Not pm other members you've met through my room
- etc etc...


You're welcome to continue visiting, but if you would like to these behaviours I've noticed over time will need to change immediately. If members ask why your behaviour is changing just let them know that you're trying to be respectful of my wishes.

I hope you can understand that I'm doing this to set my boundries where I am comfortable. If you're unable to do this, then we'll need to stay in touch without you being present as a part of my cam room.

Thanks,
-Name


If they say they understand, but the behaviour continues I immediately ban. But there are some situations ..rarely where it simply comes down to a miscommunication about boundries... or the model hasn't been given the chance to examine her behaviour and how its affecting you/your work. Sometimes I'll ask how they'd feel if I did these things in their room..

Thank you for posting Miss Lollipop! I was really hoping that someone who is generally open with models in their room would respond, I think she'll really appreciate seeing what you've had to say in particular. Some others in the thread said something about not being petty, and really it's not about that. She is such an open person in her room, lots of love for other models, but there comes a point where other models need to respect what's going on there. My friend's room might be model positive, but not an open invitation for someone else to set up shop and advertise their own goods. It would be rude and disrespectful if someone were doing that on purpose, giving Model #2 the benefit of the doubt here that she just doesn't understand (in which case some model to model etiquette needs to be learned).

Model #2 seems to be very much ingrained in the culture of my friend's room at this point, so outright banning her without a warning seems harsh and definitely would be off-putting to other members. Again, I don't talk to her personally, but it honestly comes off as though she doesn't realize the impact of her actions. But it would be more than fair to ban after some warnings if it comes to that point. Thanks again!
 
Miss_Lollipop said:
mynameisbob84 said:
I think perhaps I view this slightly differently than most here. I don't see that Model 2 has done too much wrong. Model 1 let another model frequent her room and over time, some of her members decided that they liked that model (maybe even more than they liked Model 1) and so started visiting her room and tipping her. Now Model 1 is upset because Model 2 is being tipped by "her" members and she's losing potential income.

Members are ultimately free to tip and visit whoever they want, when they want, for any reason they want. They don't belong to any one model. I can see why Model 1 might be upset that some of her members are choosing another model to spend their money and time on/with - especially seeing as she's responsible for those members finding that model to begin with - but that's part and parcel of camming, is it not? If it's something that Model 1 finds particularly difficult in accepting, then she always has the freedom to ban models from her room altogether, or at the very least lay down some ground rules :twocents-02cents:
To explain a bit more...

No one is saying its not ok for members to visit the other model - its when the other model is *actively* using the models room to *actively* distract or pursue members... she's using it for advertising. And that's not ok.

It's like you have two stores selling competing products side by side on a street. both shopkeepers are friends and regularly visit each others stores, chat to customers etc. That's cool. But when store #1 is visiting store #2 he shouldn't be handing out free samples from his store, talking it up, or privately drawing customers away from their purchases. Wouldn't you think that'd be rude behaviour?

My model friends and I frequently find that our regs move around.. one week x is spending time in my room - then he finds model y through my tweets etc and a video he got of us together and goes to visit her and likes her and tips her etc. that's NORMAL..and while some jealous feelings are ok, its not really something anyone did wrong. But when you're using someones room to actively seek out connections with members as a model, not to socialize as a member.. thats uncool


You beat me to it...

My response to mynameisbob was:

Model #1 is not the kind of person who feels a sense of ownership over her members, she realizes that many tip other models, it's the nature of camsites. Her regulars still tip her more than Model #2, she's had them for years, etc, and she's been doing better than ever. This is not the issue so much as this:

Her concern is about how Model #2 acts in her room and less about what tips she is receiving. What is happening now is that Model #2 is essentially trying to share the spotlight while Model #1 is trying to broadcast. As a model myself, this would be insanely distracting. I have heard my friend give a list of models whom she likes or admires, encourages her regulars to visit them (including me). But the difference between me and model #2 in this scenario is that my friend is advertising me on her own volition, it's not me trying to flirt with and grab attention from her regulars literally right in front of her. One is like having some business cards at the front desk for an another establishment that you like or are affiliated with, the second is like someone running up and down the aisles with an airhorn encouraging shoppers to go elsewhere with all the fanfar. Sure, people can shop wherever they want, but obviously the latter is not going to be appreciated by the owner and within good reason.


I like Miss Lollipop's analogy better, but you get the drift.
 
  • Like
Reactions: swagger
SunnySideUp said:
Some others in the thread said something about not being petty, and really it's not about that.

The mention of her regulars tipping Model #2. The worries about which side her regulars are going to take when she does what she obviously needs to do. These concerns are petty. They should be discarded as such.

I am sympathetic to Model #1's position. But this situation has been overthought.

HyoriKim said:
Take that bitch out.
 
justjoinedtopost said:
SunnySideUp said:
Some others in the thread said something about not being petty, and really it's not about that.

The mention of her regulars tipping Model #2. The worries about which side her regulars are going to take when she does what she obviously needs to do. These concerns are petty. They should be discarded as such.

I am sympathetic to Model #1's position. But this situation has been overthought.

HyoriKim said:
Take that bitch out.

It's not petty when the majority of your job is based on building and nurturing a strong and healthy community! The way people feel about us relates directly to our business and to our reputations. I can see how this must feel pretty "meh" to members, but we really have to think about our how our words and actions look to the model and member community. Sure, I think we can all agree that blocking models or at least this model specifically is the correct path, but worrying about what her regulars think about it is perfectly valid. How she approaches it will likely play a big part in determining how this plays within her community, so it's certainly worth some thought and is definitely not petty.
 
mynameisbob84 said:
I think perhaps I view this slightly differently than most here. Model 1 let another model frequent her room and over time, some of her members decided that they liked that model (maybe even more than they liked Model 1) and so started visiting her room and tipping her. Now Model 1 is upset because Model 2 is being tipped by "her" members and she's losing potential income.

You are not entirely alone. From a member perspective, this sounds a little like if a member were to become upset that his favorite model went private with someone else.

But I also appreciate the opportunity to view this through the eyes of a model. I am curious to know how Model #2 would react to Miss_Lollipop's email; it would reveal whether she is a professional or a child. Based on past experiences and what I know of human nature, I personally wouldn't waste my time with this approach, but I am not the one in the situation.

I do hope SunnySideUp does the courtesy of a follow up. I am intrigued, and I hate to be left hanging.
 
KayleePond said:
It's not petty when the majority of your job is based on building and nurturing a strong and healthy community!
The points I identified as petty, I did so with the view that they are interfering with Model #1's focus on doing this.

KayleePond said:
How she approaches it will likely play a big part in determining how this plays within her community, so it's certainly worth some thought and is definitely not petty.
I agree. A thoughtful approach is not petty.
 
AmberCutie said:
It's so incredibly awkward when you realize this has been happening for months right under your nose. Then suddenly everything makes sense, but it's too late. It's unfortunate, but this sort of thing happens pretty frequently.

I'm not sure if girls like model #2 realize what they're doing right from the get-go, or if it just happens to start working, then they roll with it and try to play innocent when it becomes obvious.

:text-yeahthat: It's hard because you want to give other ladies the benefit of the doubt. I try to focus on the good in people so I had models enter my room for most of this year. You want to think everyone has your back and is supportive but unfortunately a lot of the times, it's just a personal agenda. I'm very much into connecting personally with my members (as a lot of models are) and it makes you take a step back when another model does this blatantly and you can't tell if her intentions were accidental or intentional.

Sucks but she should silently ban and move on. I refuse to engage in senseless drama.
 
Miss_Lollipop said:
mynameisbob84 said:
I think perhaps I view this slightly differently than most here. I don't see that Model 2 has done too much wrong. Model 1 let another model frequent her room and over time, some of her members decided that they liked that model (maybe even more than they liked Model 1) and so started visiting her room and tipping her. Now Model 1 is upset because Model 2 is being tipped by "her" members and she's losing potential income.

Members are ultimately free to tip and visit whoever they want, when they want, for any reason they want. They don't belong to any one model. I can see why Model 1 might be upset that some of her members are choosing another model to spend their money and time on/with - especially seeing as she's responsible for those members finding that model to begin with - but that's part and parcel of camming, is it not? If it's something that Model 1 finds particularly difficult in accepting, then she always has the freedom to ban models from her room altogether, or at the very least lay down some ground rules :twocents-02cents:
To explain a bit more...

No one is saying its not ok for members to visit the other model - its when the other model is *actively* using the models room to *actively* distract or pursue members... she's using it for advertising. And that's not ok.

It's like you have two stores selling competing products side by side on a street. both shopkeepers are friends and regularly visit each others stores, chat to customers etc. That's cool. But when store #1 is visiting store #2 he shouldn't be handing out free samples from his store, talking it up, or privately drawing customers away from their purchases. Wouldn't you think that'd be rude behaviour?

My model friends and I frequently find that our regs move around.. one week x is spending time in my room - then he finds model y through my tweets etc and a video he got of us together and goes to visit her and likes her and tips her etc. that's NORMAL..and while some jealous feelings are ok, its not really something anyone did wrong. But when you're using someones room to actively seek out connections with members as a model, not to socialize as a member.. thats uncool

I can definitely see how it can be annoying. And if Model 2's sole reason for being in Model 1's room is to poach members, then yeah, that's shitty. From what the OP described though, it sounds like Model 2 genuinely enjoys being a part of Model 1's room, tips her and gets on well with her regulars. She may have stepped over boundaries that she didn't know Model 1 even had (as far as interacting with the members in her room goes and being open about her also being a cam girl), and if that's the case, then it falls on Model 1 to either make those boundaries clear to Model 2, or just block/ban models entirely. Maybe this is one of things where models will (or should) have a clearer idea of where "the line" is than members though.
 
mynameisbob84 said:
Miss_Lollipop said:
mynameisbob84 said:
I think perhaps I view this slightly differently than most here. I don't see that Model 2 has done too much wrong. Model 1 let another model frequent her room and over time, some of her members decided that they liked that model (maybe even more than they liked Model 1) and so started visiting her room and tipping her. Now Model 1 is upset because Model 2 is being tipped by "her" members and she's losing potential income.

Members are ultimately free to tip and visit whoever they want, when they want, for any reason they want. They don't belong to any one model. I can see why Model 1 might be upset that some of her members are choosing another model to spend their money and time on/with - especially seeing as she's responsible for those members finding that model to begin with - but that's part and parcel of camming, is it not? If it's something that Model 1 finds particularly difficult in accepting, then she always has the freedom to ban models from her room altogether, or at the very least lay down some ground rules :twocents-02cents:
To explain a bit more...

No one is saying its not ok for members to visit the other model - its when the other model is *actively* using the models room to *actively* distract or pursue members... she's using it for advertising. And that's not ok.

It's like you have two stores selling competing products side by side on a street. both shopkeepers are friends and regularly visit each others stores, chat to customers etc. That's cool. But when store #1 is visiting store #2 he shouldn't be handing out free samples from his store, talking it up, or privately drawing customers away from their purchases. Wouldn't you think that'd be rude behaviour?

My model friends and I frequently find that our regs move around.. one week x is spending time in my room - then he finds model y through my tweets etc and a video he got of us together and goes to visit her and likes her and tips her etc. that's NORMAL..and while some jealous feelings are ok, its not really something anyone did wrong. But when you're using someones room to actively seek out connections with members as a model, not to socialize as a member.. thats uncool

I can definitely see how it can be annoying. And if Model 2's sole reason for being in Model 1's room is to poach members, then yeah, that's shitty. From what the OP described though, it sounds like Model 2 genuinely enjoys being a part of Model 1's room, tips her and gets on well with her regulars. She may have stepped over boundaries that she didn't know Model 1 even had (as far as interacting with the members in her room goes and being open about her also being a cam girl), and if that's the case, then it falls on Model 1 to either make those boundaries clear to Model 2, or just block/ban models entirely. Maybe this is one of things where models will (or should) have a clearer idea of where "the line" is than members though.

100% agree. Boundries need to be super clear.

It is pretty common knowledge that this behavior is considered rude though... at least among models.
 
AmberCutie said:
It's so incredibly awkward when you realize this has been happening for months right under your nose. Then suddenly everything makes sense, but it's too late. It's unfortunate, but this sort of thing happens pretty frequently.

I'm not sure if girls like model #2 realize what they're doing right from the get-go, or if it just happens to start working, then they roll with it and try to play innocent when it becomes obvious.
mynameisbob84 said:
I can definitely see how it can be annoying. And if Model 2's sole reason for being in Model 1's room is to poach members, then yeah, that's shitty. From what the OP described though, it sounds like Model 2 genuinely enjoys being a part of Model 1's room, tips her and gets on well with her regulars. She may have stepped over boundaries that she didn't know Model 1 even had (as far as interacting with the members in her room goes and being open about her also being a cam girl), and if that's the case, then it falls on Model 1 to either make those boundaries clear to Model 2, or just block/ban models entirely. Maybe this is one of things where models will (or should) have a clearer idea of where "the line" is than members though.
It seems like it would be common sense that camming with a models regular while the model is broadcasting is clearly crossing the line and poaching. I just don't see how model 2 could be ignorant on recognizing that as pretty sleazy behavior.

Either way, definately ban/block the model. It seems like it would be far more important to nip it in the bud now rather then let it continue longer and do more damage. If any member decides to leave because of that, then that's somewhat disappointing, but there is a line I sometimes see around here "there will always be other members". No member is irreplaceable!
 
I think just straight out banning could result in more needless drama if model 2 gets offended tells her regulars, some of who may also be model 1's regulars, and then a whole giant model1 vs model2 war starts.

I think model 1 should just simply send a PM or MFC mail next time model 2 is in her room and lay down the law. Then either model 2 can change her ways they can carry on be friends and go about their business happily or model 2 doesnt and gets banned. At least then model 1 has the high ground and can say she was more then fair.
 
fandango said:
I think just straight out banning could result in more needless drama if model 2 gets offended tells her regulars, some of who may also be model 1's regulars, and then a whole giant model1 vs model2 war starts.

I think model 1 should just simply send a PM or MFC mail next time model 2 is in her room and lay down the law. Then either model 2 can change her ways they can carry on be friends and go about their business happily or model 2 doesnt and gets banned. At least then model 1 has the high ground and can say she was more then fair.


This can be handled fairly easily by Model #1 telling her members not to discuss other models while in her room.
 
SunnySideUp said:
PMs and cams one on one with the regulars of my friend while said friend is broadcasting.


This is really the only thing I take issue with, but I think it's a pretty large issue. This seems like a cardinal sin in the camworld, no? In any case, Miss Lollipop's letter seems like a reasonable solution, but may result in mutually assured destruction depending on the maturity of model #2. It's sad that something that likely started out innocent, has very little chance of ending well.
 
Okay, I've been refraining from posting on this but here it goes.

I've encountered this from both member-side with model friends (several times) and from model-side with very friendly regulars and fellow models luring people out of my room without my knowledge. Here's how I feel on the situation.

I am terrified to even mention that I am a model when visiting other rooms... even on MFC, where I am not even legally allowed to work and spend almost all of my non-working camsite hours. Now that I'm a little more socially networked and you guys know me, there's really no need for me to announce my profession when I go in - it's tacit. My reasoning for not making a point to mention my profession in the past was an amalgam of the reasons stated in some of the above posts:
- It's not necessary information. I barely know what any of my regulars do for a living. If they want to share they are more than welcome but they usually don't, if a model asks me when I am visiting I will gladly share as well but in the end it typically isn't relevant to the context of the room visit.
- I don't want to bring more attention to myself than the model without the model's consent. EVER. THEY are the entertainer/host(ess), I'm off-duty. If I'm not on the clock and getting paid, I'm a participator/viewer.
- My cam does NOT go on unless the host specifically asks for it. If it does go on, it is (with very few exceptions) typically set to "Models only". Yes, that's an optional setting, don't forget it.
- I don't know the sexual orientation (or given the nature of my shows, how open-minded or nerdy) the members of the models' rooms I visit are. They could easily find me attractive or funny or whatever, swing on over to my room and BOOM... without my knowledge or consent, I have suddenly unconsciously stolen a regular not just from a friend but from another site. It's happened before, the guilt still weighs on me.

Needless to say, there is a laundry list of shit that can go wrong... thus I have tried to stick to just being the pink-text dinosaur guy who tries to have a good time and help however I can. Low-risk, high-fun, no one gets hurt.


Many people can play devil's advocate and say that the members are consciously making their own decisions in this situation... and to a strong degree they absolutely are... but that situation would never have arisen if it weren't baited out. I have turned away several people (read: asked not to tip) that came to my room to show support who had seen me in different rooms that I frequent where they are regulars. While it's near impossible to say "no, please don't give me your money", it's just the right thing to do in that situation in my book. If they want to tip small amounts to encourage others to tip... that may be another story... but I would lose sleep knowing that I had accidentally fished a long-time reg from a friend, had them bomb the hell out of me and now they can't help my friend out. I've been in those shoes, it's a deep motherfucking burn.


So now we come to the intent of Model #2 in this context: are they trying to gain more attention/notoriety/camscore/whatever from these visits or are they simply... naive and ignorant to what's really happening? I am notorious for giving people the benefit of the doubt, anyone who even remotely knows me knows this, but I would see it utterly cold-blooded and, ironically, more drama-inducing to just BANBANBAN. How so, Deez? Let's explore a hypothetical situation(based on two separate true events)...

Step 1 - Model #2 has performed said actions stated by OP.
Step 2 - Model #1 bans with no warning, no communication, no explanation, nothing.
Step 3 - Model #2, perplexed by this turn of events, brews resentment since lines of communication were never opened and a drastic action had taken place seemingly out-of-the-blue. Assumptions are made, blanks are auto-filled.
Step 4 - Model #2, out of resentment and/or desperation, pulls harder on the regulars they (potentially) unwittingly poached... causing the members to choose a "side". Shit-talking and sullying reputations can potentially happen at this stage.
Step 5 - Members who visit both rooms (or even Model #1's regulars that just enjoyed hanging out with Model #2 in Model #1's room) are forced, via the tight-knit, rumor-milling cam community (:h:), to pick a faction or risk inciting a riot.
Step 6 - The universe implodes from the massive expenditure of energy and drama that was utterly unnecessary and easily avoidable.

It spreads like the motherfucking Rage Virus.


I've seen this happen two separate times. It went the same way both times. When it happened to me, the "parasite" stopped immediately, apologized profusely and we moved on peacefully.

Wait... that's possible? No drama? How Deez, HOW?!


Talk to each other like professional adults. Do exactly what Lolli suggested.

There is a fine but very distinct line between friendship and business; there are some overlaps but they must be managed delicately yet assertively (as mentioned above several times). Technically, we are ALL competing against each other. That's just reality. We're not all actively busting into each others' rooms in unmarked vans and snagging members.

If Model #2 is a mature professional and friend, they will completely understand the situation and ideally engage in a calm discourse to find a functional compromise. If not, ban the fucker.
 
From a member's perspective, perhaps the regs tipping Model #2 are unaware that Model #1 is upset or that she even would be. While it may seem obvious, they may just not have put thought into how it could be disruptive for Model #1. Being professional and transparent with them as well as Model #2 regarding the situation rather than just banning or ignoring it seems like the most reasonable thing to do. If the regs do still end up leaving then maybe they're not the regs for Model #1.
 
Step 1. Model #1 tells Model#2 how she feels
Step 2. Model#2 realises she's been poaching and stops visiting Model#1 altogether.
Step 3. Neither of the models mentions anything to any of the regs. (the don't need to even be remotely aware that there is or that there ever was an issue). If I was member and this was turning into too much drama for me to handle I would just find a Model#3 or #4 and move on. :whistle:

Normally when I visit models on my perv account I try to draw 0 to none attention to myself. It just feels like the normal standard right thing to do. I will send a ninja tip, making myself known to the model and that is it. I even avoid typing in the chat room. As far as the room knows... I am not even there. If the model CHOOSES to mention me, that's awesome and amazing, but I would never tell the room who I am. There are plenty of ways for models to help and promote each other. In my view, the chat room is not really one of them.
 
Oh man, the dramallama in me is pretty sure I know who's being discussed, but isn't entirely positive and desperately wants someone to PM me the deets... I am the worst. :mrgreen:

Anyway as has already been covered, this is a really unacceptable situation. When I first started hearing about it, I was FURIOUS for Model #1. If this happened in my room, you can bet your ass I'd be very firm about it right fucking quick.

:angry4:
 
Not sure if my friend has talked to Model #2 yet and everyone is always so busy at the end of the month. I do know the whole situation is much worse now, like Model #2 directly bothering members while Model #1 is doing an intimate show in public chat. Straight up inappropriate.

Won't leave anyone hanging, but please understand that I won't post more than what my friend is comfortable with. She's seen this thread now and appreciates the replies.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.