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When a guy "just wants to know your real name."
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Sensing something wrong here.
gofucyourself said:
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Dude, NO! Stop looking at wikipedia as a bible for shit you have no clue in and actually open a book on what you claim as fact.
Nobody deserves to be stalked. NOBODY and you have no damn right to come on this forum and claim models are 'creating stalkers' when it simply is not true. You honestly feel that if a model gave a member her real name that it would just simply stop any stalking behavior that may have occurred if she didn't? Stalkers have a need to have power, control and influence over their victim and it damn would not end at simply a name. It would escalate and escalate.
I hate to tell you dude but members don't own models. Models have to right to privacy and to be able to feel safe and you are seriously pathetic for blaming victims for something out of their hands.
Oh and this is coming from someone who has a BA in Criminology and Criminal Justice, dissertation on stalking and works for VICTIM SUPPORT. If I had the energy I would spend longer on this but I can't be arsed and I really apolgoise for being rude but I hate victim blaming.
I don't dig threads from the freezer very often, but my mind was on the subject of anonymity for models and pervs alike earlier, so I'll weigh in here.
Personally, I don't care what your real name is. For camming purposes, only Streamate, Chatrubate and MFC need to know your real names so they can withhold taxes or know who gets the 1099. Any good perv will know and appreciate this, and I would recommend the same approach to any woman I knew who was interested in the business. Likewise, I don't disclose my real name to models. My ACF name isn't something I'd expect people to call me, but my MFC perv handle does work as a nickname. My real name only comes into play when I'm buying tokens, and if it were to be disclosed to models, it would endanger MFC's payment processors' businesses since it would violate PCI-DSS rules.
That said, it's easier for me to deal with a model with a reasonably normal name. For example, "Evvie Andrews" is a perfectly good name, as are "JordanBlack," "Rose," "(Playboy) Megan," and "Amber (Cutie)." And, while it's a mashup of two popular science fiction characters' names, "KayleePond" certainly doesn't look out of place in the real world (and it suits the performer).
That said, I'd find it awkward to call somebody "The Girlfriend," "HugePussyLips," or "hearttbreaker," all of which are names I've seen on MFC. I would consider those to be the name of the act, and not necessarily the performer, in the same way I wouldn't call Trent Reznor "Nine," or "Mr. Nails," though he usually bills himself as "Nine Inch Nails." In many of those cases, the model has a name she wishes to be called, such as "ADDICTION" also being known as "Helen Jonson."
TL;DR version: It doesn't matter to me what you have on your driver's license, but please don't make me call you "H0tA55 M Night Shamalamadingdong Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One."
Personally, I don't care what your real name is. For camming purposes, only Streamate, Chatrubate and MFC need to know your real names so they can withhold taxes or know who gets the 1099. Any good perv will know and appreciate this, and I would recommend the same approach to any woman I knew who was interested in the business. Likewise, I don't disclose my real name to models. My ACF name isn't something I'd expect people to call me, but my MFC perv handle does work as a nickname. My real name only comes into play when I'm buying tokens, and if it were to be disclosed to models, it would endanger MFC's payment processors' businesses since it would violate PCI-DSS rules.
That said, it's easier for me to deal with a model with a reasonably normal name. For example, "Evvie Andrews" is a perfectly good name, as are "JordanBlack," "Rose," "(Playboy) Megan," and "Amber (Cutie)." And, while it's a mashup of two popular science fiction characters' names, "KayleePond" certainly doesn't look out of place in the real world (and it suits the performer).
That said, I'd find it awkward to call somebody "The Girlfriend," "HugePussyLips," or "hearttbreaker," all of which are names I've seen on MFC. I would consider those to be the name of the act, and not necessarily the performer, in the same way I wouldn't call Trent Reznor "Nine," or "Mr. Nails," though he usually bills himself as "Nine Inch Nails." In many of those cases, the model has a name she wishes to be called, such as "ADDICTION" also being known as "Helen Jonson."
TL;DR version: It doesn't matter to me what you have on your driver's license, but please don't make me call you "H0tA55 M Night Shamalamadingdong Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One."
Evvie said:
This.
Although, it's not from a safety standpoint for me.
Starbucks dude: [furiously marking coffee options on cup] "Can I get your name?"
Me: "Mark."
Random chain hair salon clerk (when traveling): "Can I get your name and phone number?"
Me: "Phil. (212) 347-1398."
Best Buy clerk (when buying new headphones with cash): "Can I get your name and phone number?"
Me: "Greg. (304) 555-1212."
et cetera
It seems like almost every store wants a telephone number. I assume it is for marketing purposes (they can telemarket to me, sell the list, or just reverse-lookup the address for mailed circulars), but I don't need to be deluged with robocalls and junk mail because I happened to stop into Sephora for hand lotion. Fuck off, marketing droids!
Plus, even when just getting sandwich at a cafe and they want a name for my order, I think it's fun to practice using a fake name.
spikyhaired said:Evvie said:
This.
Although, it's not from a safety standpoint for me.
Starbucks dude: [furiously marking coffee options on cup] "Can I get your name?"
Me: "Mark."
Random chain hair salon clerk (when traveling): "Can I get your name and phone number?"
Me: "Phil. (212) 347-1398."
Best Buy clerk (when buying new headphones with cash): "Can I get your name and phone number?"
Me: "Greg. (304) 555-1212."
et cetera
It seems like almost every store wants a telephone number. I assume it is for marketing purposes (they can telemarket to me, sell the list, or just reverse-lookup the address for mailed circulars), but I don't need to be deluged with robocalls and junk mail because I happened to stop into Sephora for hand lotion. Fuck off, marketing droids!
Plus, even when just getting sandwich at a cafe and they want a name for my order, I think it's fun to practice using a fake name.
Radio Shack was the leader in asking for phone number and zip code for their computers. Use to annoy me to know end. I would look them right in the eye and say Unlisted.
It's none of their damn business if i'm paying with cash. I don't even make up a fake one, I let em know their in the wrong and it's annoying customers.
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JerryBoBerry said:spikyhaired said:Evvie said:
This.
Although, it's not from a safety standpoint for me.
Starbucks dude: [furiously marking coffee options on cup] "Can I get your name?"
Me: "Mark."
Random chain hair salon clerk (when traveling): "Can I get your name and phone number?"
Me: "Phil. (212) 347-1398."
Best Buy clerk (when buying new headphones with cash): "Can I get your name and phone number?"
Me: "Greg. (304) 555-1212."
et cetera
It seems like almost every store wants a telephone number. I assume it is for marketing purposes (they can telemarket to me, sell the list, or just reverse-lookup the address for mailed circulars), but I don't need to be deluged with robocalls and junk mail because I happened to stop into Sephora for hand lotion. Fuck off, marketing droids!
Plus, even when just getting sandwich at a cafe and they want a name for my order, I think it's fun to practice using a fake name.
Radio Shack was the leader in asking for phone number and zip code for their computers. Use to annoy me to know end. I would look them right in the eye and say Unlisted.
It's none of their damn business if i'm paying with cash. I don't even make up a fake one, I let em know their in the wrong and it's annoying customers.
It's best to never use or even talk about your real name, address, phone number, family, or anything about yourself either when making purchases in person or online.
Whether for security reasons or to not be bothered by telemarketers, etc. almost all information you give out will be sold. There's a reason Facebook requires you to use your "real information" and it's not just so that your friends can locate you. And as for security, they aren't just selling their information to telemarketers. Any information you post online whether "private" or not is still sold to "public information" websites that will sell your profile to anyone with a credit card, which includes everything from your telephone number, occupation and income, email, other social networks, links to buy every single relative's information, and even a Google Map to your current home address and past addresses. And to find you, all you might need is an email address or a first name and birth date.
I never give anyone my first name and I feel like the only person who doesn't have a Facebook, but no thank you. Between Google and Facebook, be careful what you search or post online. I have no personal online presence anymore.
http://www.zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/how-to-remove-yourself-from-people-search-websites_p2/612
Not only do I not give my name out, I wear a mask when I go out in public so nobody can see my face (actually, I wear two masks, in case a CIA agent rips off the first one). Also, I make sure to vacuum up any loose DNA I might leave around just in case the men in black come in their helicopters and try to clone me. I have all my windows painted black, and then I have a giant black tent that enshrouds my house for extra protection, and I seal my house up with duct tape just in case the NSA figures out a way to render their agents into smoke, allowing them sneak in under my door.
You never can be too careful.
You never can be too careful.
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yossarian said:
Ok, you don't get it. That's cool. A lot of men don't.
But many, many women experience creepers ALL THE TIME.
Sites like [site name banned*3] have whole forums dedicated to posting pictures and information of girls-- not camgirls, mind you, ordinary girls. "Anyone know who this is?" "Anyone got any more pics of her? I have some topless and will trade!" "Where does she live?" Not to mention the people who seem hell-bent on destroying the privacy and safety of camgirls specifically-- going so far as to post such personal videos as WEDDINGS. There are also sites dedicated to taking covert pictures of normal girls in public places-- upskirts, tight pants, tank tops, etc. Sometimes these are not even women, they are young teens. "Creepshots".
Once I was on the bus and a guy kept hitting on me. He eventually grabbed the phone out of my hands, dialed his phone number, and called it-- to get my phone number. He called me so many times over the course of SIX MONTHS I had to change my phone number. (I never answered, hoping he would get bored and stop calling; he did not.) I also had to get off the bus at the wrong stops because one time I noticed he got off at my stop and started following me home, so I diverted into a nearby store and called my friend to come pick me up.
My friend gave her phone number at some store like Best Buy, one of those places that always ask for your number. The employee ended up remembering her number. He stalked her for several months, ended up assaulting her, and now he is in prison.
I've gotten Facebook friend requests from people I met in line at the gas station in a city I don't even live in-- people I gave literally NO information to, who had no mutual friends or acquaintances. I still don't know how they tracked me down. I've since set my Facebook to the most private settings and am unsearchable.
People have tried to follow me home. People have tried to follow me INTO my home. Into my car.
This is not isolated. This happens to many women (and men too, for that matter), and it happens a LOT. I'm not sorry this doesn't happen to you-- I'm glad you don't have to know what it's like to have to lower your voice when telling the pharmacist your name and phone number because you noticed that man behind you listening a little too intently.
Or to have someone stop your car in the parking lot and tell you he noticed it was dirty, and he happens to do auto detailing, why don't you give him your number?
"Where's your shop?" Oh, he only makes 'house calls', whatever that means.
"Well I probably can't afford it." Don't worry, he's willing to work out a 'trade' even though he knows literally nothing about you except what you look like. Hmm, wonder what he will expect for payment.
"I'm actually in a hurry." Oh it's ok, just tell him where you live and he can stop by later.
"I'm not comfortable telling you that." No worries. He'll just look for your car, and when he sees it he'll know that means you're at home and he'll come to you.
This exact conversation happened to me about two weeks ago while I was on my way to the doctor.
None of these things are made up or exaggerated. They all happened to me personally, or to someone I know in real life. So you can make fun and say we're being paranoid, but I will continue being safe. Especially because if (God forbid) something ever DID happen to me, the first thing anyone would say is that I'm asking for it because I'm a camgirl.
LilyEvans said:
Good lord... reading something like this makes me want to go live in a fortified bunker somewhere, with lots of firepower close at hand. When the hell did the world get this damned WEIRD?
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LilyEvans said:
Yup, I was actually thinking about the CVS Pharmacy thing prior to seeing your post. I've seen employees there straight up blurt out the person's address and number ("Do you still live at 12345 Yellow Brick Road? And phone number is still 123-456-7890? Do you have any questions about your prescription? Have a nice day."). That shit is not cool.
Okay:
I have no problem with people being careful, especially women. I know there are many creepers out there and it makes sense to be careful. Giving out fake names to creeps who ask for your info in bars or on buses makes perfect sense. I wasn't really reacting to the kind of thing Lily was talking about--it makes sense to be careful with some (maybe most) information.
I just get tired of the breathless paranoia that permeates our society--where everyone is out to get everyone else, and grown men feel the need to give fake names to Starbucks clerks because omg they're going to steal my identity. I suppose I should have known better than to try to make a joke about it on a forum full of women who are, by necessity, constantly worried about their safety and giving out too much information. It wasn't really directed at the women who are posting, anyway--I just see a lot of guys online who lock down their shit like Fort Knox, as though the Pizza Hut driver is part of some vast government data-mining operation. There is no Earthly reason for a grown man to be so scared to give out his first name to a stranger. But I know even men have to worry about this shit. It's a shame that it's come to this. It bothers me that nobody else seems to be bothered by the fact that we have become a society full of people who are always looking over their shoulders, and who don't seem to mind. And I do still think there is such a thing as being TOO paranoid.
But it was late, and I wasn't really considering how it would be interpreted.
I have no problem with people being careful, especially women. I know there are many creepers out there and it makes sense to be careful. Giving out fake names to creeps who ask for your info in bars or on buses makes perfect sense. I wasn't really reacting to the kind of thing Lily was talking about--it makes sense to be careful with some (maybe most) information.
I just get tired of the breathless paranoia that permeates our society--where everyone is out to get everyone else, and grown men feel the need to give fake names to Starbucks clerks because omg they're going to steal my identity. I suppose I should have known better than to try to make a joke about it on a forum full of women who are, by necessity, constantly worried about their safety and giving out too much information. It wasn't really directed at the women who are posting, anyway--I just see a lot of guys online who lock down their shit like Fort Knox, as though the Pizza Hut driver is part of some vast government data-mining operation. There is no Earthly reason for a grown man to be so scared to give out his first name to a stranger. But I know even men have to worry about this shit. It's a shame that it's come to this. It bothers me that nobody else seems to be bothered by the fact that we have become a society full of people who are always looking over their shoulders, and who don't seem to mind. And I do still think there is such a thing as being TOO paranoid.
But it was late, and I wasn't really considering how it would be interpreted.
Paranoia seems to be encouraged/reinforced by the frequent scare-mongering in the media. I can't begin to imagine how it must seem to people in the cam model field, as they have reason to be concerned even without that.
Yeah, I know people have to be careful...but where is the line drawn? I don't give out personal info online, but I also don't feel the need to lie about my name to somebody I meet. I don't know anybody who does that, man or woman (I mean in normal social situations, not when you're being harassed by someone you don't want to talk to). So when I hear about it, it strikes me as a bridge too far in terms of paranoia. But I suppose it's necessary at times. I understand especially in a situation like where some creep won't leave you alone at a bar/on a bus.
I don't know...will anybody be using their real names for anything a few years from now? What happens when you meet somebody, give them a fake name, and then decide you'd like to be friends with them? Do you tell them "Hey, I only lied to you because I thought you might be a creepy psycho, but since you're cool I'll tell you my real name?"
Life in the 21st century.
I don't know...will anybody be using their real names for anything a few years from now? What happens when you meet somebody, give them a fake name, and then decide you'd like to be friends with them? Do you tell them "Hey, I only lied to you because I thought you might be a creepy psycho, but since you're cool I'll tell you my real name?"
Life in the 21st century.
We've had conversations about the name thing in my room so many times now I've lost count. AS i always say, if anyone is dumb enough to think that a camgirl would cam using her real name, or to think that a camgirl would give out her real name, they seriously need a reality check. As for asking a girl what her real name is, well, that's just rude.
Having said that I've had to deal with plenty of rude members who won't let it lie after the first 'Sorry but that's none of your business'. Ban & ignore work quite well after that if they don't want to listen once I've explained why they can't ask...
Having said that I've had to deal with plenty of rude members who won't let it lie after the first 'Sorry but that's none of your business'. Ban & ignore work quite well after that if they don't want to listen once I've explained why they can't ask...
LilyEvans said:
One of the scariest incidences of this for me was when me and a few friends went for breakfast in a fairly quiet but nice cafe. My friend shortly after starts receiving text messages from someone saying "I hope you enjoyed your breakfast". We thought it might be a boy we knew, eventually we realised that she'd told her friend's mother over the phone what her number was. There was an old looking dude sat several table's away. He told her he was about 60 and was just really lonely and just wanted to take her to breakfast and be friends. He was very manipulative and very almost convinced her until her brother intervened.
We were all 12 years old at the time.
Since then I have never said my number out loud where anyone can hear, I'm careful who I give my number to. I also never give other people's numbers to people without their permission UNLESS I know that it's someone that person wouldn't mind having their number, like a close friend. I've had people give my number out to someone who says they fancy me and have had them non stop phone me.
Privacy is ridiculously important. For men less so although these things do happen to men, it's much less common. We might as well face that although many men never harm women physically or mentally, there are also many men who do. Unfortunately because there does seem to be a sort of madness in men which some seem unable or unwilling to control and lets it consume them, it means essentially every man needs to be treated with caution because they could be potentially dangerous. It is unfair on the nice men who treat women with nothing but respect and kindness, or even just those who never harm women, but I hope that they will understand that just because they share the same sex, not all men have the same frame of mind as they do, and it is very hard to decipher one from another without time and experience with that person.
I respect and admire the men who can accept and understand this and respect our decisions to treat them as a potential threat. I am sorry to members that I still fear and distrust you, however much I come to care for you, my experience in my short little life has been from the start to now that men have the capability and often the will to be dangerous, regardless of love or friendship.
When it comes to people who find out your real name on MFC... Well, two people have found out my real name. Neither have shared the information, but both have tried to use the information to threaten me/manipulate me into doing what they want. As much as they were dicks, as I pointed out to them at the time, if they're nasty enough to be willing to release my real info and potentially endanger my life then I'd rather not have anything to do with them and take the risk. The kinds of members who release real info either think camgirls are being wimpy about it all and don't seem to realise the real threat/reasons that camgirls don't want people knowing their info, or they know the implications and are seriously nasty guys.
If it were a case of something that people see as a lot more serious, like someone finding out a child's info and sharing it to a group of potential pedophiles, even if that person never touches a child, would they be to blame if harm came to that child because of them releasing the info? I think they would absolutely be to blame, just as much as the person who'd done the act. Just like I think a member who releases the info of a model knowing the implications is to blame if harm ends up coming to the model.
Isabella_deL said:
On the flip side of this, it's a bit disquieting on this side of the camera to be thought of in that fashion. I've never in my life had anyone be afraid of me, and it's a little unnerving. I do have to be realistic about it, and admit that none of you can afford to think in any other way. It's not a happy world we live in, as we all see every day on the news.
Yeah, this pretty much sums up how I feel when confronted with the notion that someone might consider me dangerous.
ThunderWeasel said:
That's probably not true that you've never had anyone be afraid of you, it has probably has just never been enough or for long enough for you to notice it. Men often send girls vibes that make them feel uncomfortable, even if they're totally unintentional, that discomfort is fear. Many women you meet, depending on the circumstances will see you (even if in a very small way) as a potential threat. This doesn't mean they see you as a threat, but more that they are aware, you being male, that you could be potentially dangerous. It usually doesn't take much to put a woman in real life at ease that you're not going to harm her, but it doesn't mean that fear isn't there.
Ever walked down a street at night where there was just you and another woman, even if she was fairly far ahead of you, she probably would have felt nervous, possibly even scared. I know that this is something that unnerves some guys in this position where the woman noticeably speeds up or acts nervous. It's not the man's fault, it's that there are many men in the world who are a danger to women, so until she knows you're not a danger she will fear you as much as she'd fear a man who means her harm.
The issue with Myfreecams is that if I met a man in real life, my guard would be partially up. I would be sussing the man out, reading his body language, what he says to me and how he deals with people around him. Online you cannot judge by any of these things. People can take time over what they say, it's all typed. You can't read body language, even on Skype it's not the same, and you cannot judge how someone acts with someone else. This means you have no indicators besides what the person says to judge accurately of whether they're dangerous or not. The only solution is to accept that any member could be a danger and any member could turn.
ThunderWeasel said:
The mere concept of a ThunderWeasel scares the living shit out of me. I lay awake at night unable to sleep, because that's when they attack.
Isabella_deL said:
I have had this happen a few times. One time in San Francisco I remember distinctly, because it was late at night and I needed to get back to the parking garage before it closed which was many blocks away. I normally walk fast, but I was practically jogging and a 20 something year old girl in a tight black dress was about 1/2 block ahead of me and probably headed to the same place. She glanced behind her and speed up, this continued for a several block before she finally crossed the street and I over took her on the other side. I consider yelling, "don't worry I'm just in hurry", but it was windy and I wasn't sure what to say.
For biological and cultural reason woman are more fearful than man, so it shouldn't surprise any of us this this has carried over to camming. Since the danger of stalkers is real, it is perfectly understandable.
Still I think the level of paranoia of scary about very rare events is unhealthy in our society, and the media and the internet make it worse.
Kinda sorta privacy related: What are folks' thoughts on members saying "hi" should they bump into a model they know in public? I think if I ever saw a model I recognised, I'd feel too awkward to actually go up to them and bother them. If they're with friends/partner/family, then it's probably not a good idea to blurt out "hey, I've seen you strip on t'internet!" and if they're on their own, I'd worry that by approaching them I'd be putting them in an awkward/scary situation.
rexcode said:
Hey, I'm harmless. The big blonde guy got the cool lightning hammer, they just gave me a pogo stick that shoots firecrackers. :crybaby:
Personally I wouldn't bother saying hi to the model even if I was a regular and talked to her on a daily basis. Unless she has indicate to me otherwise her private life is off limits.mynameisbob84 said:
I also doubt that I would even mention it to her that I saw her unless she brought the subject up. Just like I would not go running up to a random celebrity and ask for an autograph or introduce myself as a fan (if I was).
:twocents-02cents:
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