what are your best "job title" covers?

[sciencesavvy89]

This holiday a few of my family members asked me what I did for work and I had a totally stunned deer in the headlights expression because I could not think of a single job title that didn't involve the word "sex"
So I want to know, what do you guys say when asked what your occupation is?

 

[FoxyBea]

I'm only 18, still considered a child by my family. My moms knows what I do but no one else does, and I wanted my dad's advice on filing independent contractor taxes so I also had this problem. I'm a tutor at the local community college and my family knows my second job involves me sitting at home and using a computer, so I just say I tutor online through chats! My stepdad lives with us and my mom knows to not call me by my real name if I'm working, and she just told him I lie about my name on the tutoring site just to be safe. It's worked so far, but a younger relative who is more tech savvy might ask what the site is and that would be a problem.

 

[Minnie]

Network Marketing is good to use. I have posted a thread on it, and there are literally 1,000s of companies for virtually anything you would be interested in.

Once you go into telling your family you want them to come to a presentation for the business opportunity they will probably going into thinking your in some pyramid scheme and will try and find some way of backing out of the conversation.

When reality is network marketing is a very real profession and there are more people becoming millionaires out of it since the economy dropped back in 2008.

 

[zippypinhead]

I usually go with Executive in Charge of Masturbation.

 

[Elsalil_Stiller]

I'm open with my parents and my sister. My cousins would probably giggle and snort when they found out what I did and start asking me questions about the wildest cam moments.

I'm open with my friends, and when they introduce me to friends of theirs, I do a quick assessment, and I usually tell the truth.

When it comes to people I don't know, or who I don't want to know, I tell them I work independently for some publishers doing fact-checking/editing stuff. It's a boring topic, so no one wants to continue it. Likewise, my mom is honest with her best friends, but with others, she tells them I work "for an internet company," which is also so boring and vague, no one has asked her to go into more detail.

I always have a book with me, so people buy the editor line all the time. With my education, it's an easy field for me to go into, so no one questions it.

My friend who did phone sex told people she worked for an investment company. Technically yes, the parent company had "investments" in the title, so it worked. I tried it, but people kept asking me for financial advice.

Find something boring, but that you know enough to speak a few sentences about then say, "Oh, but that stuff is so boring, let's not talk about work!" and then ask people if they're ready for another round of wine/stuffing/pie

 

[goldenaye666]

I say I do web design, and I'm an Amazon Mechanical Turk. https://www.mturk.com/mturk/welcome

Both are true, with plenty of boring details I can go on about while being vague and not mentioning I work on porn sites too.

 

[PinUpJenny]

My family knows what I do. Thankfully they realize I'm an adult and can do what I want.

At school if anyone asks I say I'm a bartender. I don't want the truth spreading around the entire campus.

I try to stay out of conversations having to do with work and I often try to change the subject before someone has the chance to ask me "what do you do?"

 

[SenaLuna]

Online customer service is a popular option. I know there's plenty of businesses that hire people to work from home, but imo it's far from the best, especially when people ask for the company name. Most companies will have you work in a call center, very few allow you to work from home. I know someone who worked for Mac support but that was INCREDIBLY hard to get into just because of the sheer volume of applicants. It's also not a very good excuse if you're telephobic (like me) since most places require you to chat with customers via phone or online voice communication.

Amazon Turk was mentioned above but depending on how high your income gets it might not be feasible (Aturk is a HUGE hit or miss). Some sites pay your to write articles, too, but those are just as finicky as Turk and if you don't have good writing skills people will know you're bullshitting.

Imo the best option is search engine optimization.

The biggest problem with mentioning jobs like these though is some people get starry eyed when you mention you make good money without even leaving the house. For this the best option would be to use the "search engine optimizer" cover. Those jobs typically have a pretty ridiculous application process and the job itself it really tough, which will discourage most people from wanting to know more since when they think "work from home" they're expecting to be lazy.

A friend of mine has worked for Lionbridge. The website makes it sound like it's main focus is on translating stuff, but when he worked for them he would, quote "confirm the relevance of search terms mostly with google, sometimes with Bing to make sure the search engines are running correctly etc." He also says "technically you aren't allowed to talk about your work there" which kind of makes it the perfect cover job for a cam model or any other at home sex work job.

 

[RubyDimples]

I'll go with my job title on MFC

professional lip syncher..

 

[Lady_Indigo]

I'm starting out this week and I'd probably say I'm a freelance translator or a social media manager. =)

 

[Jessi]

I say model/entetainer, and if someone presses me, I say its for a popular adult website. Then they usually don't ask any more questions. I have also said "I'm a dancer, but online instead of in a club".

Im all about being honest without making people uncomfortable, but I dont think folks need to know the specific details. Getting caught in a lie makes you look bad and people will assume way worse of you. There are also some cases where it could be considered fraudulent or void a lease.

 

[Teagan]

I say i do medical billing and transcription from home. Completely feasible as Ive done it before IRL. I know more than enough medical stuff to pass and then some from school. When friends or family ask to get in on it I have a cover story place that does actually offer it so I give them that or tell them try ODesk or something if they wanna work from home.

 

[sciencesavvy89]

I say model/entetainer, and if someone presses me, I say its for a popular adult website. Then they usually don't ask any more questions. I have also said "I'm a dancer, but online instead of in a club".

Im all about being honest without making people uncomfortable, but I dont think folks need to know the specific details. Getting caught in a lie makes you look bad and people will assume way worse of you. There are also some cases where it could be considered fraudulent or void a lease.

I was more talking about in cases of family members who you know would look down on you, people you don't have to see often. My mom knows what I do but I would never want her partner or his family to know because it wouldn't look just "bad" on me but my mother as well (who has no problem with my job she is all for it) and to be honest I don't want everyone to know especially people I am first meeting or people I don't know very well.

 

[missrosexox]

Freelance marketing consultant. :thumbleft:

I secretly love the glazed-over look I get from creative-types who immediately decide I'm boring. It's so forgettable, the same people have asked me, "Sorry, what do you do again?" a few times... it's a private joke to me. :-D If the person happens to be totally FASCINATED by marketing and must know MORE, I just say politely but firmly, "I don't like to talk about work in my personal time."

Freelance photographer is good too, but only if you're cool with people trying to hire you, and someone might get curious about your portfolio later (I would cuz I love photography) and then ask why they can't find your website.

I don't feel the need to be out to every person who makes polite conversation. It's just not important to me, and people are judgmental, small-minded idiots.

 

[Elsalil_Stiller]

I say model/entetainer, and if someone presses me, I say its for a popular adult website. Then they usually don't ask any more questions. I have also said "I'm a dancer, but online instead of in a club".

Im all about being honest without making people uncomfortable, but I dont think folks need to know the specific details. Getting caught in a lie makes you look bad and people will assume way worse of you. There are also some cases where it could be considered fraudulent or void a lease.

I'm all about the "honesty is the best policy" policy.

I'm not concerned with legal ramifications of lying (and I have no problem putting my vocation on my tax return, no one at the irs cares), but I believe in smashing stigma to death as often as possible. Every chink in that stone is a positive, if you ask me.

 

[bud9752]

If you talk about computers a lot you could try

Internet Entrepreneur

 

[Tasha_Snow]

Well, for the most part I use my volunteer job as a cover. But for people who I either don't care know, or don't mind if they know I usually tell them I'm an "online personality" and if they ask further I say I specialize in sex and dating advice (hah!). I actually do a fair amount of conversation, advice giving, and talking over anything so it kinda feels like I'm telling the truth