What are "Mistress'" rules for guys on camsites?

[NotYou]

The title may sound stupid or weird to you but not to me. I had never experienced or been interested in the whole Mistress fetish, nor am I still but I do see a lot of guys love it and for different/specific reasons.

The reason I want to know about "rules/guides" for this is that I just saw one guy saying he had not cum for XX days and then this mistress told him to tip etc and he will surely cum soon. He then responded with he would love to but his other mistress does not allow him, she is making him edge.
Obviously I don't know how much he has tipped or how often he visits the other or this one but what is the general kind of rules for having a mistress? Is it "fine" to have multiple like this or can it depend on the mistress themselves, on what they personally wish to allow? Or is it based more not he viewer/tipper who has the Mistress fetish?

I am just wondering and wanting to have a better understanding in general. I try to understand things a bit more so I just know more.

 

[LoraxGrey]

This category is not simple for models or members. The rules are not general, they are made by the performer.
Now it's up to you what interests you. You need to explore as much as possible and find out what you like. Usually slaves use pain to turn it into pleasure, others are strong people in real life and need a discharge, a kind of yin yang to keep the balance. I suggest you start with something simple like a jerk off instruction (where you are guided by the performer to masturbate) maybe with Edging and Orgasm Denial (the performer will keep you hard all the time and she won't let you cum till you pay her or she had fun enough) There are many but start with something simple to see if you like it. Then you can go to the submissive side where you have to do what the performer tells you, she will use you in different ways and you have to obey!

Or just look on porn website and search for : joi, edging, slave, submisive, foot fetish, cei, findom, femdom etc.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I suggest you start with something simple like a jerk off instruction (where you are guided by the performer to masturbate) maybe with Edging and Orgasm Denial (the performer will keep you hard all the time and she won't let you cum till you pay her or she had fun enough) There are many but start with something simple to see if you like it. Then you can go to the submissive side where you have to do what the performer tells you, she will use you in different ways and you have to obey!

I'm not one for being submissive. But, I do enjoy a good edging from time to time when it's done with a GF or friend and can't release because of where I'm located (office, etc). I tried a JOI video from a model that I really enjoy some of her other work. I just couldn't make it work. It's the same with aspects like that of the Mistress realm for some reason.

There's some very interesting parts to it, and I can see how some people really enjoy it. But, it's never had much of an appeal for me for some reason.

 

[Lintilla]

I just saw one guy saying he had not cum for XX days and then this mistress told him to tip etc and he will surely cum soon. He then responded with he would love to but his other mistress does not allow him, she is making him edge.

That's a freeloader, and his mistress probably doesn't exist.

 

[PandoraUnchained]

I work mostly with subs, a good start is just to speak normally with the model as you would do with any other, as there is a ton of sub fetishes and I'm not a psychic to guess them.

Most just have a more submissive stance during the discussion, but when someone starts with something like "Oooh my mistress I'm a dirty piece of trash just good enough to be trampled by your feet" you can be sure that this is a guy which is self exiting himself and stroking right now, and that he will cum in the next 2mins without tipping/pvt.

There is no rules as if. Each sub/dom couple draw their own lines, based on their preferences and fetishes. Usually you don't have some strict rules going way broader then webcam sessions with a member which isn't a hardcore regular. And even with them it's more an exception.

For hardcore bdsm lifestylers it's considered as "not true" to have multiple mistresses, however that don't apply to virtual ones. Anyway everybody do as they wish. Through I saw that on several sites models take it very seriously, even discussing which user is owned by which one on the internal forum. I found this quite dumb honestly.

i prefer to suppose that any sub have several mistresses, except if he state that I'm the only one, but i won't care if I found him visiting other rooms (or just for roleplay sake)

I never really tried to work with subs in freemium sites as the whole format doesn't seem relevant to me. You need a good comprehension of the sub fetishes for a good experience, which imho can be achieved only by one on one format. I guess findom could work, but i can't imagine any freemium chastity play or SPH.

 

[veggiebabyy]

That's a freeloader, and his mistress probably doesn't exist.

Seconding this. I've gotten messages from a couple of guys saying that they broke a rule and their Mistress sent them to me for punishment. I told them to tip and I'd punish them, but have never gotten a single cent from any of the guys who claim to have another Mistress. I also seriously doubt any Mistress is going to send their sub to an unsuspecting cam model for punishment, especially without telling him to tip.

 

[NotYou]

Thanks, everyone, I really appreciate the responses and tey have helped.

 

[PandoraUnchained]

I would add that the biggest difficulty to work with the whole bdsm theme is to having to deal with a galaxy of various fetishes - Chastity, findom, cuckholding, homwrecking, SPH, feetplay, bondage, pain, discipline, degradation, humiliation, brat play, daddy play, CBT, ignorance,....and that's not even the half of them, and I'm not counting not bdsm but closely related (Leather, latex...). Having a good profile that state what you;re looking for will make any mistress happy^^.

 

[Smores]

The title may sound stupid or weird to you but not to me. I had never experienced or been interested in the whole Mistress fetish, nor am I still but I do see a lot of guys love it and for different/specific reasons.

The reason I want to know about "rules/guides" for this is that I just saw one guy saying he had not cum for XX days and then this mistress told him to tip etc and he will surely cum soon. He then responded with he would love to but his other mistress does not allow him, she is making him edge.
Obviously I don't know how much he has tipped or how often he visits the other or this one but what is the general kind of rules for having a mistress? Is it "fine" to have multiple like this or can it depend on the mistress themselves, on what they personally wish to allow? Or is it based more not he viewer/tipper who has the Mistress fetish?

I am just wondering and wanting to have a better understanding in general. I try to understand things a bit more so I just know more.

It is not like every dominant goes to a credentialed school and walks away with a degree and a rule book. I think it is up to the individual dominant to set rules, and it is up to the submissive to have some common sense about limits.

It was not entirely clear in your post did the guy who said he was ordered to tip send a tip or not? If he is offering a tip and then immediately revoking the offer, my experience says this guy is not a real submissive, and he needs to be put down fast. If a model was asking my opinion about it, I would coach to say something to him like "Mistress has very little time for you. Do you want mistress' attention or not?" If he disappears great. If he says yes then follow up is "You need to send mistress 100 tokens [or whatever your number is] in the next 60 seconds or I am going to silence you for the rest of today." No tip, silence him. Fast. No conversation.

I think the mistress act is some of the easiest money a model can make. The real submissive males on these cam sites are very weak-willed and very easy to please. As long as a model can train herself to give instruction and orders that are clear, most of those submissives will be very pleased and come back for more. They tend to be loyal, easy to boss around, easy to get money from, and most of their weirdness is self-directed in what they do to themselves.

To contrast, selling yourself as a model submissive is much riskier business. The viewers who want to act as dominants are often seriously demented and try to control things way outside a normal or acceptable scope. I think a model needs a lot of experience to navigate that safely. Being a model dominant does not take as much experience. You can make a lot of mistakes, and as long as your orders and instructions are clear you will usually find customers and neither side will be worse for your inexperience.

 

[MarieElise]

It is not like every dominant goes to a credentialed school and walks away with a degree and a rule book. I think it is up to the individual dominant to set rules, and it is up to the submissive to have some common sense about limits.

It was not entirely clear in your post did the guy who said he was ordered to tip send a tip or not? If he is offering a tip and then immediately revoking the offer, my experience says this guy is not a real submissive, and he needs to be put down fast. If a model was asking my opinion about it, I would coach to say something to him like "Mistress has very little time for you. Do you want mistress' attention or not?" If he disappears great. If he says yes then follow up is "You need to send mistress 100 tokens [or whatever your number is] in the next 60 seconds or I am going to silence you for the rest of today." No tip, silence him. Fast. No conversation.

I think the mistress act is some of the easiest money a model can make. The real submissive males on these cam sites are very weak-willed and very easy to please. As long as a model can train herself to give instruction and orders that are clear, most of those submissives will be very pleased and come back for more. They tend to be loyal, easy to boss around, easy to get money from, and most of their weirdness is self-directed in what they do to themselves.

To contrast, selling yourself as a model submissive is much riskier business. The viewers who want to act as dominants are often seriously demented and try to control things way outside a normal or acceptable scope. I think a model needs a lot of experience to navigate that safely. Being a model dominant does not take as much experience. You can make a lot of mistakes, and as long as your orders and instructions are clear you will usually find customers and neither side will be worse for your inexperience.

"Easy money, being a dominant Mistress?" You must be kidding me. "Easy to please... "Bahahahahahahahaha. "Loyal?" LMFAO - I guess that depends on how you define it. Self-directed (whaaaaat?). You have this part very, very wrong.

"To contrast, selling yourself as a model submissive is much riskier business. " This part I have found to be 100% true, you are correct on this part.

" The viewers who want to act as dominants are often seriously demented and try to control things way outside a normal or acceptable scope. I think a model needs a lot of experience to navigate that safely. " That is only some of them, not all. There are a proportion of them, that are truly sadistic. Many of the others just like the rewarding feeling, that comes with knowing they have the power to direct a true orgasm, or just to explore a power-play kink harmlessly. I am always wary of any who won't accept, or respect limits. Or those who feel that setting a limit, or saying "no", warrants punishment.

There are some people that do 24/7 Slave Master arrangement. That is not a paid thing tho, and there are a lot of weirdos online, who are seeking that, of women they do no know. That can be dangerous. A friend of mine actually used to talk to the BDSM Killer John Edward Robinson. He was part of her chat group on an online forum. He sent them (female forum members) pics, and all kinds of stuff, but they didn't know he was a real serial killer. Then he disappeared from the chat room for a while, and popped up on the news. She never met up with him, but he was trying to get meetups from other chicks in the same chat group. They all thought he was kinda weird, and no one would (Thank God!).

When I first started doing all this I had a completely crazy guy in Texas, try to hypnotize me, and make me agree to moving to Texas, to become his Hucow (Bahahahahaha, 100% seriously true). I did several sessions with him, then told him to F-off, when it went in that direction. Yuck. The BDSM world can be a very unsafe dark place, but there are many people who are just into it innocently, as a harmless kink also, and who are perfectly nice, sensitive, empathetic people.

 

[Smores]

"To contrast, selling yourself as a model submissive is much riskier business. " This part I have found to be 100% true, you are correct on this part.

" The viewers who want to act as dominants are often seriously demented and try to control things way outside a normal or acceptable scope. I think a model needs a lot of experience to navigate that safely. " That is only some of them, not all. There are a proportion of them, that are truly sadistic. Many of the others just like the rewarding feeling, that comes with knowing they have the power to direct a true orgasm, or just to explore a power-play kink harmlessly. I am always wary of any who won't accept, or respect limits. Or those who feel that setting a limit, or saying "no", warrants punishment.

So I did say that online dominants "are often", which I meant in the same way as your conditional statement "only some of them". I would not disagree with most of what you said.

I have no problem with an online dominant who is a sadist who is clear about consent and uses safe words. Then the model has a choice and has a clear path out if she changes her mind later. What I have a problem with is that many online dominants are just bullies. They are abusive men using the online space to beat up people and do things to them psychologically and emotionally. Navigating that is tricky if the submissive is not versed in the culture of consent and safe words.

"Easy money, being a dominant Mistress?" You must be kidding me. "Easy to please... "Bahahahahahahahaha. "Loyal?" LMFAO - I guess that depends on how you define it. Self-directed (whaaaaat?). You have this part very, very wrong.

Well, come on, I am interested in your experiences about these things. Where am I wrong?

 

[MarieElise]

So I did say that online dominants "are often", which is the same thing as your conditional statement "only some of them". I would not disagree with most of what you said.

I have no problem with an online dominant who is a sadist who is clear about consent and uses safe words. Then the model has a choice and has a clear path out if she changes her mind later. What I have a problem with is that many online dominants are just bullies. They are abusive men using the online space to beat up people and do things to them psychologically and emotionally. Navigating that is tricky if the submissive is not versed in the culture.




Well, come on, I am interested in your experiences about these things. Where am I wrong?

I don't want to get into it further with you, in this context, and hi-jack the thread. I'm not about to blabber out my whole 7 plus years of experience in the BDSM scene paid and unpaid, I got too much to do right now. Just trust me, or don't. Anyways Godspeed.

ETA; I can't be arsed with ego wars, or debates or whatever. I'm just anal about correct information. Especially when it comes to a pet passion of mine.

 

[Mila_]

I don't want to get into it further with you, in this context, and hi-jack the thread. I'm not about to blabber out my whole 7 plus years of experience in the BDSM scene paid and unpaid, I got too much to do right now. Just trust me, or don't. Anyways Godspeed.

ETA; I can't be arsed with ego wars, or debates or whatever. I'm just anal about correct information. Especially when it comes to a pet passion of mine.

It’s not just about being anal with correct information it’s about not misleading new models who are curious about this path with false info. Sadly, some people out there believe they can learn everything there is to learn about this industry from watching other people perform, without any first hand experience, and they are so confident in themselves they go as far as to call themselves “mentors” or “coaches” to new, aspiring, or struggling models. Some do it to get free attention from them without having to tip anything. Others do it because it gives them a power trip. Either way they tend to mix in good and bad information in their advice and the models don’t always have the experience or the common sense to tell them apart. This is like calling yourself a construction contractor coach because you spent a lot of time watching other people build things. Sure, you might know more than someone who has never seen construction work, but you will be very very far from experienced or knowledgeable about the actual craft. In this case, he gets to watch dominant models boss subs around and get tips and he thinks that is the extent of the interaction. I would never follow advice from anyone who’s not been involved in this industry as a model.

 

[Smores]

It’s not just about being anal with correct information it’s about not misleading new models who are curious about this path with false info.

That part I agree with. It would be nice to present examples - or conclusions from experience - about why being an online dominant is not easy money for a new model, if that's your position. That is your opportunity to correct potentially bad information, and I am not going to push back too hard.

 

[AudriTwo]

Go away Smores. 98% of the stuff you post is wrong or insufferable. I love when you don't post on the forum, because I dont have to read your insufferable egotistical posts and debunk it if it's wrong or harmful advice.

 

[Danigirl]

Smores. Your advice sounds like someone who loves watching plays. He goes to the theatre and that's it. He watches a ton of different styles of plays so thinks he knows exactly what the actors and directors know. Except he was never there for writing the play, for the endless rehearsals and castings. He was never there for learning the little nuances and why saying a line one way is completely different if you inflect a different word. You think you're an expert because you saw the finished product. You think you can tell a new actor how to play a part because you saw it.

You don't know all the work that goes in to camming and especially when it goes into all the little details with fetishes. Every person with a fetish or kink can like something different. It's up to communication between the models and the members to satisfy that fetish. It's not easy because half the time the men won't communicate or have no clue. Submissive men can be giant pain in the asses. It's not easy at all and many require a shit ton of emotional support or messages after the cam goes off.

Please refrain from coaching if you've never actually cammed. You only see the finished product when we cam.

 

[Smores]

It's not easy because half the time the men won't communicate or have no clue. Submissive men can be giant pain in the asses. It's not easy at all and many require a shit ton of emotional support or messages after the cam goes off.

I was not trying to argue this point. A few facts and examples - based on your experience - would be sufficient. It is okay to be wrong if you are not stubborn about it and can be educated

I think the part that I do not see is the amount of emotional support required between shows. While I get your point, everything can have a price (assuming the model wants to do it at all). So the model has the option to look at how much of her time is being sucked up, put a price on that, and tell the submissive what it will cost (per week, per month, per day, or whatever). To your point: that may not be "easy money". Okay.

 

[Danigirl]

I was not trying to argue this point. A few facts and examples - based on your experience - would be sufficient. It is okay to be wrong if you are not stubborn about it and can be educated

I think the part that I do not see is the amount of emotional support required between shows. While I get your point, everything can have a price (assuming the model wants to do it at all). So the model has the option to look at how much of her time is being sucked up, put a price on that, and tell the submissive what it will cost (per week, per month, per day, or whatever). To your point: that may not be "easy money". Okay.

Nah, don't feel like I need to explain or write out specific examples or that it would be worth my time. I make enough that I can retire at least 20 years early so far and I feel my years of experience actually dealing with 100s-1000s of members a day validates that I know a bit more than you do on the subject. There's plenty here who have done it longer than I have and would probably agree that what you suggest is in no way actually easy.

 

[Mila_]

I was not trying to argue this point. A few facts and examples - based on your experience - would be sufficient. It is okay to be wrong if you are not stubborn about it and can be educated

I think the part that I do not see is the amount of emotional support required between shows. While I get your point, everything can have a price (assuming the model wants to do it at all). So the model has the option to look at how much of her time is being sucked up, put a price on that, and tell the submissive what it will cost (per week, per month, per day, or whatever). To your point: that may not be "easy money". Okay.

You just want us to spell it out for you so you can have better material to coach your next victim with
The way you gloss over every post telling you to STOP and divert the attention to some random detail is narcissism 101.

 

[AudriTwo]

GO AWAY SMORES.

 

[Smores]

You just want us to spell it out for you so you can have better material to coach your next victim with

The way you gloss over every post telling you to STOP and divert the attention to some random detail is narcissism 101.

I have not coached anyone for over six months. My main reason for that is that the models I liked did not have the kind of work ethic I wanted them to have. So I accept them as they are and enjoy them in a different way now. When I see someone who I think is going to wash out within three months, I just let nature take its course, and it is not my problem. The fact that I really enjoyed helping people is not something you will ever accept. But whatever it was intended to be, the reality is not satisfying to me.

Experience is more important than opinion. I never challenged that. So when I give an opinion about models acting as dominants, and experienced models say that is not true, I listen to that and accept it. Wanting to understand why they have that opinion is not narcissism. It is healthy curiosity. And giving that detail does not need to be for my benefit. It can be for the benefit of models who read this thread in the future.

 

[Danigirl]

I have not coached anyone for over six months. My main reason for that is that the models I liked did not have the kind of work ethic I wanted them to have. So I accept them as they are and enjoy them in a different way now. When I see someone who I think is going to wash out within three months, I just let nature take its course, and it is not my problem. The fact that I really enjoyed helping people is not something you will ever accept. But whatever it was intended to be, the reality is not satisfying to me.

Experience is more important than opinion. I never challenged that. So when I give an opinion about models acting as dominants, and experienced models say that is not true, I listen to that and accept it. Wanting to understand why they have that opinion is not narcissism. It is healthy curiosity. And giving that detail does not need to be for my benefit. It can be for the benefit of models who read this thread in the future.

 

[PandoraUnchained]

I think the mistress act is some of the easiest money a model can make. The real submissive males on these cam sites are very weak-willed and very easy to please. As long as a model can train herself to give instruction and orders that are clear, most of those submissives will be very pleased and come back for more. They tend to be loyal, easy to boss around, easy to get money from, and most of their weirdness is self-directed in what they do to themselves.

To contrast, selling yourself as a model submissive is much riskier business. The viewers who want to act as dominants are often seriously demented and try to control things way outside a normal or acceptable scope. I think a model needs a lot of experience to navigate that safely. Being a model dominant does not take as much experience. You can make a lot of mistakes, and as long as your orders and instructions are clear you will usually find customers and neither side will be worse for your inexperience.

I wouldn't agree with the dom part. This isn't easy money, either hard money. It's something you can, or cannot do depending of your background and irl experience. You just can't go deep inside a fetish without either sharing it or having a very deep knowledge about how it works. This is even more true for virtual relationships where the oral part plays a critical role.

Obviously any model can go into light bdsm sessions with occasional members - actually most of them do it. But it takes more to have a regular DS relationship with a member. I would compare it to the feet fetish - any model usually have something feet related in her tip menu, but only a handful of them have a whole show and community based on footfet/foot worship. From an external pov it may seems that just displaying your feet under a good angle for the camera is a great way to get easy money. Through that would be totally missing the whole communication part that happens in pvt or pm.

Even if you are into the whole bdsm thing that isn't a guarantee about being successful into any practices. For instance I'm not into pain and especially CBT, and the few times I was involved into that kind of sessions it usually ended with a deep feeling of unsatisfaction both for me and the user. I could'n really understand his turning ons, and what I had to do to make the whole experience more exiting for him. Finally none of CBT sub I had never came back to me, and I stopped accepting them as it was a big psychological pressure for a one time session.

Most of serious sub aren't at all weak willed, and have a very precise idea of what they are looking for. Don't mistake the freechat beggars "mistress look at me" for real subs. These ones aren't big payers or tippers, they usually rush into free chats while they are already at excitement peak and don't stay there for long. Serious subs are more is search of a psychological experience that isn't easy to provide (I recall having several hours years privates only implying speaking and writing).

DS relationships need a huge degree of confidence between partners (and the dom confidence into his sub isn't less important then the opposite). And adding a financial side to these relationships only harden these constraints. Treating subs as cashpigs (And especially findom sub that pretend that they want to be treated as such) without going deeply inside their minds to understand their kinks is the best ways to end surrounded by extremely time consuming cheapskates with fairly low standards about DS and who will run to any next model with cheaper prices at the first occasion. Obviously the whole work isn't easy, and is the reason why Dom models usually have a higher pricing.

I would half agree about dom. There is good doms members on camsites. The problem is that the whole dom reputations is quite tarnished. Even more then psychoos (I met only a couple of them) there is more issues with cheapskate doms ("If the model have to obey me, I don't have to chat with her and wait while she slowly strips down, and I'll economize precious minutes") and home grown 18yo doms that have only hardcore porn as reference. Through it's usually easy to recognize them.

When I first started doing all this I had a completely crazy guy in Texas, try to hypnotize me, and make me agree to moving to Texas, to become his Hucow (Bahahahahaha, 100% seriously true). I did several sessions with him, then told him to F-off, when it went in that direction. Yuck. The BDSM world can be a very unsafe dark place, but there are many people who are just into it innocently, as a harmless kink also, and who are perfectly nice, sensitive, empathetic people.

That remembered me a similar dom member - after several light ds sessions he started to request an irl meeting, because he decided that "I was a suitable head girl for his future harem, through he had to met me to check my aura"(yeah he was also posing as a psychic and a mentalist).