Ugh...What do do?!

[Swizzles]

Here’s the situation. I have been visiting a cam girl’s room for about 2 weeks now. I’ve been spending a lot of time and tokens there .

Said cam girl started following me on twitter and we’ve been chatting offline a fair bit.

Last night, she came online and I popped in and said hello. As she was chatting with another member who was tipping she didn’t respond. That’s cool! As I didn’t want to interrupt and potentially derail their conversation (in fear that the other prem might tip less or stop) I decided to quickly pop out of her room and visit another cam model.

I’ve known the other cam model longer and am aware that her little brother had to go to hospital recently with a kidney problem. Other cam model is also a lot less successful on MFC and her room is generally very quiet. On a good night she may have 30 people in there...

Anyway after about 3 minutes, first cam girl pm’s me “where did you go?” to which I reply “I’ve gone for a wander ha!”. After asking about 2nd cam girl’s little brother and wishing her well, I left and returned to the original’s room.

I got a rather frosty “oh you’re back...” and that was about it for the next 20 minutes. I then decided to have an early night and logged out of MFC.

This morning, I wake to see numerous tweets about disloyalty and how guys shouldn’t spoil girls then leave as it’s “boring and predictable”. I tried to DM her to explain but she requested that I don’t DM her anymore.

Now this is the first time I’ve experienced anything like this to this degree on MFC since I started (March 2010). I’ve had similar situations with girls i’ve known a lot longer but never this venomous (may be venomous isn’t the right word but for the life of me I can’t think of the right word I want to use at the moment).

My question is; is she overreacting? I personally don’t feel I’ve done anything wrong except maybe I could’ve been more tactful when she asked me where I had gone...

Thank you for reading this wall of text.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

Consider yourself lucky and move on.

I've made this point before, you aren't married to her, you aren't in a relationship with her. A day before this happened if you had asked her to marry you she would have said no and called you crazy. You owe no more loyalty than that in return. If she gets indignant about a supposed lack of loyalty on your part then she has the screw loose. You're better off knowing that sooner than later.

I'd have more words of wisdom but I haven't been to sleep all night and all i want to do is rant about that kind of possessive, stupid mindset in some models.

 

[AerynShade]

Based on what you posted you didn't do anything wrong. Ordinarily I'd say to avoid drama-llama models and move on, but shit's been rough this summer. She may have been stressed and lost it.
If you really enjoy her/her shows give her a second chance, but if she harasses you for visiting other models again move on.

Just reread your post, you've only been visiting her two weeks? Maybe I don't expect much "loyalty" from members, but that's not a lot of time to get so attached. Proceed with caution.

 

[Puffin]

My question is; is she overreacting?

Yes she is. I agree with the above posters, especially what JerryBoBerry says.
I can only add that she would not of reacted if you meant nothing to her.

 

[Gen]

I agree with Jerry but I wouldn't romanticize it with "she wouldn't have reacted if you meant nothing to her". That's a really obnoxious way for a model to act, even if it wasn't directed at you, ranting about loyalty and what not is kind of a red flag for all kinds of entitled behaviour.

Idk, obviously some guys like feeling so wanted/desired, but she is flat out saying that she doesn't like guys who "spoil then leave" so know what she wants and what she expects. (Obviously all camgirls want tokens! But what I mean is that she's not sugarcoating it with "guys want to be your friend then leave", so I'd be careful interpreting it as something more meaningful than that.)

In general I think you choose what kind of experience you have on MFC, some members love drama and all this stuff, if you don't, I'd take this as a warning sign and find a model who understands that tipping doesn't make you hers.

 

[Myriads]

The tweet about "Guys who spoil and leave" is the most telling aspect in your story in my opinion. It's a viewpoint statement that presents us with the context she sees the 'relationship' in. You are "A Guy who spoils her" not a friendly chatter, or a fun presence, or a 'fun guy'. The fact that you provide money is baked into how she identifies you.

Now she could have been having a crappy night and other personal factors that pick at her were at play and you got sideswiped, that we cannot know.

From my view it's a possessive attitude. You are 'her piggybank' and you shouldn't be taking any wanders from her farmyard. Which is a bit outside the transactional boundaries that you two seem to have.

If you enjoy her, by all means spend more time there and see if it was just a bad eve. But her personal attention could very well be part of her being a good cam-girl and maximizing her connectivity to you, to maximize your tips. A fair thing, but also something that one needs to be mindful of as to the real nature of things.

Interactions on cam sites are always a bit blurry. But you can tease out the real basis for what is going on usually.

I hope that you find a path through this that leaves you feeling positive.

 

[SaffronBurke]

The only time that a model should be making comments to a member about visiting other models or "spoiling then leaving" is if there's a domme-sub dynamic with rules as to the member's behavior and spending.

Otherwise, it's more than just a little silly to make comments or be offended that members are visiting other models. We don't own rights to members who visit us, each of us is just one of many models who appeal to a variety of people.

 

[fandango]

Yeah I would say you are quite lucky you saw this side of her now after only 2 weeks, imagine if it had taken months and you had spent far more tokens on her. I've had a similar experience once on MFC there was a model I had visited maybe about 5 times and tipped fairly well and also had a nice private with her and the next day I had a PM window that started off nice enough with things like "Hi how are you?" gradually moved on to "are you there??" and then turned into a huge angry rant about how she was fed up of guys being nice at first then ignoring her once they had got what they wanted and then turned into name calling and calling me a huge fucking loser, a small dicked cunt(These were her exact words) and much more. When I looked at the time stamps in the PM window she had gone on for about 3 hours obviously getting herself more and more wound up.

What she didnt know was that I often leave my computer on with an MFC tab open so it will look like im online a hell of a lot of the time when really I'm not. So actually I wasnt ignoring her at all I was simply out or busy or whatever I was doing that day. When I tried to reply she had already taken me off her friend list so I couldnt PM her back and had to send her an MFC mail saying that and thanking her for letting me see the full on crazy and allowing me to get away early before I had spent any more on her.

Then I got another PM with some BS how sorry she was and had had a bad day and blablabla.

So TLDR lots of models can seem nice at first but are possesive psychos and count yourself lucky you found out early

 

[JoleneBrody]

A big fan of giving second chances to people who acknowledge they did something bad/wrong/hurtful. I've spoken from emotions before thinking and later apologized for my actions. I would like to think people would understand I'm human and forgive me.

But if someone doesn't acknowledge wrong doing why give a second chance? That person is standing by their actions so why forgive something someone doesn't want forgiveness for?

Those are some pretty serious entitled red flags IMO.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Try not to read too much into it, sounds like whatever happened, she felt strongly enough to hold it against you later on. Give this model some time to calm down, then if the urge takes you to revisit do so.
Being upset with you is actually quite a compliment, in the same way that revisiting her on your part will be. Be honest with her though, only revisit her if you really want to.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Run far, far away, yo. There are far too many awesome women in camland to spend time and money in the company of one who is possessive and greedy.

 

[LittleMsBlack]

Lol this whole topic really reminds me of a part of this video (skip to 5:06)

 

[JoleneBrody]

Do not skip! Watch it all cuz Jess is hilarious hehehe

 

[ComicOzzie]

She was pissed not because you left, but because you didn't tip her. Click Next Model and move on.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

Did you PM her or say hi in her room? I on occasion will get irritated when someone "gets pissy and leaves" because I don't immediately respond to their PM. Though I've never actually PMd them about it or put it on twitter. I just let it go.

I feel if a guy really does care he won't expect me to potentially alienate other tippers so he can have immediate attention via PM. He's being rude not just to me...but to the people having a conversation in my room.

If you said hi in the room I see no reason why she wouldn't have said hi back and integrated you into the current conversation. It's what I do. It's what anyone does when you are talking with friends and another friend walks up and joins the conversation.

If that's the case it seems to me she is one of the models who pays attention to whomever is tipping her the most. Which is complete crap. I have guys that will tip 1/10th of what other guys tip but I know they care so much more. I would hate my "job" if I didn't have those people. The ones I know won't always be able to tip a lot but are always there for conversation...laughs and to pick me up when I am having a rough night.

 

[Violet Dawn]

I find the word loyalty funny in this situation. You're not her husband/boyfriend. You don't owe her loyalty. You were actually doing the best thing a member could do in allowing her to do her thing instead of chilling there bored or trying to fight for her attention.

 

[Empress Mika]

I understand the cam model's frustrations but I certainly do not agree with how she reacted nor do I agree with the way she seems to view members.

As a cam model, I think many of us strive for the ideal situation to have many regulars that come back exclusively to us. That is, our members spend most, if not all, of their time and tokens with us. It is not only best for us financially but it's also (for me) one of the best feelings in the world to know that, out of a sea of ~24,000 models on MFC, I'm their favorite and I get their time and tokens. Like, just pure amazing! It does so much for my confidence, happiness and just thinking about those members that think of me this way get me through tougher times.

Now, clearly, this ideal is very difficult to achieve. Most of the time, a member has several models he likes to visit or even peeks around frequently. That is certainly the member's right and isn't something to be taken personally with such thoughts as, "I'm not enough to keep his attention" or "He's only here because his favorite isn't on" and the like. In these cases, and especially on a slower shift, it can be very difficult to hold back negative emotions and thoughts and not take it personally. There are also times, too, that it seems like a member and I really hit it off and made a connection only for him to be no where to be found the next day or the next week without any explanation or closure or goodbye. It's very disappointing, to say the least, and we have to constantly move on, not take it to heart and keep our head held high through these kinds of situations.

It can also be overwhelming to reflect upon which members will be there for you in the long run, how much you can estimate their contributions will be, how stable your shifts seem to be and at what times and days, how many new tippers seem to come back, what you can do better in your shows and other such data. Basically, this job can be very stressful to have to rely on tips. For me, I do my best to remember that I am here to be friendly and have a good time whilst creating as much happiness as possible for my members. And, even if someone doesn't view me as their favorite or whatever, realize that I don't have to be, and still be very grateful for their time and tokens and not take it personally. Easier said than done, of course.

The model in question surely could have reacted better and likely was overwhelmed with the above thoughts and just exploded. You're likely seeing a reaction of several or even many disappointments she has experienced and the reaction was not just because of you - yours was just the last straw. So, at first glance, her reactions to the situation seem blown out of proportion. Immature and non-thought out, yes, but this is something someone could be forgiven for if they realize it and strive to correct the thought patterns. At the end of the day, she might not be ready to process all of it and its not your job to make sure she does.

It certainly isn't my belief that members are here to spoil me and I don't think a good, quality model would have that belief either. That is probably the biggest red flag in the whole story. You and every member deserve to be treated as humans and not token bags and should find models that treat you as such. Surely, let this be a lesson of compassion to cam models but also to remember to respect yourself to not be in situations where you are mistreated as a member either.

But anyway! @Swizzles - thank you for being a great member and caring enough to want to understand a situation that seemed off to you. Models would be lucky to have you in their room ^_^

 

[JoleneBrody]

This is also a niche, that some models only do in order to cater to the members who crave it. Not that I like it, not that I want it to be a thing but... it is and it' because so many members eat that shit up like spaghetti!

While it may push away of a lot of members, it's usually the REALLY big tippers who love it... and it's worth it for some of those models in the end.

 

[n_i_c_u]

I got a rather frosty “oh you’re back...” and that was about it for the next 20 minutes. I then decided to have an early night and logged out of MFC.

This morning, I wake to see numerous tweets about disloyalty and how guys shouldn’t spoil girls then leave as it’s “boring and predictable”. I tried to DM her to explain but she requested that I don’t DM her anymore.

Hey, I've only been on since December but I've had that frosty moment too. It sucks. And the social media apps don't help. The second model I became a regular with hit me with the "go visit your other model" and a ton of weirdness via Whatsapp and then banned from her room. My thing was I logged in when she wasn't online (I probably tipped someone for smiles too). This was maybe a week after I thought we worked out an issue when I didn't log in on a bad Friday night to see her. It actually made me feel sick to think someone I barely know disliked me for something I can't fathom as being wrong.

As I didn’t want to interrupt and potentially derail their conversation (in fear that the other prem might tip less or stop)

I do that now with my current favorite. I say Hi...but I don't want interfere or be needy or overdo anything (tips and talking)...this whole MFC thing seems so fragile for less popular models that you want your favorites to succeed and I'm more than willing to let the Alpha Males rule the room--because it is good for her--Go for it guys (plus I can tip offline if I feel the want or tip from the lounge)! This same model actually says "hello" and has conversations with me when I am online and she logs in (but not in chat) which is an AMAZING feeling!

Finding the right person online that you connect with can be problematic. You've been online longer than me and probably know more than me, but just thought I would share my experiences.

 

[MFCGod]

I know exactly who you are talking about

Probably better to be less specific, wouldn't be fun for her to come across this thread.

 

[Albert_1]

I know exactly who you are talking about

Probably better to be less specific, wouldn't be fun for her to come across this thread.

I could be kind of fun.

 

[dilligaf0]

My opinion: Models that mentioned getting irritated by people just leaving the room without saying anything, please don't get mad right away. Remember, MFC is famous for glitches and members getting booted due to server issues. Please wait for an explanation before going off on the member.

 

[gingerhobbit]

Sounds like her sugar coating cracked and some of the crazy leaked out. Careful you don't get any on you.

 

[AnneDVille]

Yeah I would say you are quite lucky you saw this side of her now after only 2 weeks, imagine if it had taken months and you had spent far more tokens on her. I've had a similar experience once on MFC there was a model I had visited maybe about 5 times and tipped fairly well and also had a nice private with her and the next day I had a PM window that started off nice enough with things like "Hi how are you?" gradually moved on to "are you there??" and then turned into a huge angry rant about how she was fed up of guys being nice at first then ignoring her once they had got what they wanted and then turned into name calling and calling me a huge fucking loser, a small dicked cunt(These were her exact words) and much more. When I looked at the time stamps in the PM window she had gone on for about 3 hours obviously getting herself more and more wound up.

What she didnt know was that I often leave my computer on with an MFC tab open so it will look like im online a hell of a lot of the time when really I'm not. So actually I wasnt ignoring her at all I was simply out or busy or whatever I was doing that day. When I tried to reply she had already taken me off her friend list so I couldnt PM her back and had to send her an MFC mail saying that and thanking her for letting me see the full on crazy and allowing me to get away early before I had spent any more on her.

Then I got another PM with some BS how sorry she was and had had a bad day and blablabla.

So TLDR lots of models can seem nice at first but are possesive psychos and count yourself lucky you found out early

wow. that is insane, I am speechless.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

bye felicia.

(are we still saying that? is it still a thing?)

 

[David_Lee_Loca]

It is beyond me why models get so angry over this. Members aren't our husbands nor are they our personal wallets. One of the things that appeals to me when watching camgirls is the variety of different types of women! I can't be the only person who feels this way. Of course a member will tip another model from time to time, getting mad at them for it just makes you look petty and possibly prevents future tips from that member.
Maybe I just lack that certain possessive trait. I've never gotten mad at one member on any site for paying attention to another girl. I may even recommend one or two that I like if they're looking for a girl to watch on my off days.
Hell, even when a fairly well known model was stealing members from my room, I didn't throw a shit-fit. The ban button exists for a reason.

 

[gingerhobbit]

I've had models get cranky about me spending time in rooms other than theirs. Funny thing is, every model who's done that has only lasted a couple months on MFC.

 

[BooyaaS]

I only visit/tip a model a few times before getting bored and moving on so I get a lot of these "where are you" and "why don't you visit" messages, they often turn nasty when you explain to them that you're probably not coming back.

 

[marchards]

bye felicia.

(are we still saying that? is it still a thing?)

We are still saying that. It was my first thought.

 

[summerale]

I've never had a model get upset I visit other rooms. I think most models know or assume members will go to other rooms. Seems a bit crazy on her part. I'd stop going to someone's room if they were to act like that.